Don't Ever In Your Fucking Life (written/ illustrated by Matthew F. Thomas)

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Don’t Ever In Your Fucking Life is a coming-of-age, visual memoir that explores my life’s journey through America’s ever-changing mind of right and wrong, antiquity into the avant-guard, casino of false hopes and sliding scale of human value. As a 40 year-old standing on the precipice of a mid-life crisis, I often spew political rants, begrudgingly accept career failures, rage-quit on life and poke fun at American stupidity. I understand that some of the pages may offend, but I assure you that I am not a politician, activist, terrorist or person of influence. In other words, I have no power to subject anyone to the ideas expressed. But as sensitive as American society has become, this book will probably attract death threats, revocation of my “black card” and earn that well-awaited blacklisting from any possible chance of creative success. But the fucks left to give died in a shed like my retarded, prostitute cousin in 1992. Badooompssst! Welcome to my world of misplaced, deep shame, delusions of self-importance, colorism, sexism, and never-ending pursuit of happiness.

Table of Contents Chapter 1: A Fuck Trophy Is Born (p.1) Once upon a time, two people rubbed genitals and young Matthew was shitted upon the world. A quick study of the circumstances bestowed. Chapter 2: Let Me Show You Something, Little Dumb Ass Boy (p.11) Some lessons in life are best learned through the mistakes of others. I always seemed to show up late for the hardest classes. Chapter 3: No Dogs, No Gods (p.26) If a man is devalued within a society, why should he exalt the values that uphold that system? Chapter 4: Precious Little Anyways (p.35) A trove of irrefutable facts, social commentary and political science from the top ranked bro-scientist in America! Chapter 5: Psychic Readings (p.50) Self-help guru and armchair expert Dr. Ignit shares his plenary presentations from Nowheresville University. Chapter 6: Somebody’ Gotta Learn (p.68) Accepting my limits, digesting misfortune, constructing contentment, embracing the to-be-continued. Chapter 7: Surprise, Bunny Eyes! (p.79) The nights were young and the drinks were cold, but good times aren't designed to last forever. Chapter 8: Sweet Nothings (p.97) Butt-hurt ranting from a guy on the precipice of a mid-life crisis.