SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - February 1994

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Whowearerr, Seventh-day Adventist Kinship current list of members andfriends includes International, Inc. is a support group which well over a rhcusand people in 16 countries. ministers to the spiritual, emotional, social, hnoomSt.oDCs.e.{or.unlalJi:s:3:.:=:::r..::-:]:.e:i,:.'::e,s-3:t.:h.e-B::::ib.--l:e.::':d-.-one:s. EllenG.\\\\hte::r.::::l-' : :: '--: and physical well being of Seventh-day Bible terts. '*:::: ::: :\":- - :: . Adventist lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, condemn homoser:. ,. :, :. :: :.:\",:' *i - Most of the angu:s:. .:--:, ,i:: -:. ,- - '- and their families and friends. children who grou -: ::r : ::.: !: :.- iits roots in a misur::::s--:i - - -' - i\":.1. -r.': S.D.A. Kinship facilitates and promotes Bible says. : -.-:'.'.: the understanding and affirmation of homosexual and bisexual Adventists S.D..\\. K::':.: organization ,i.1 .:: .-::--\" :-.i among themselves and within the Seventh- advancementci:.-:--* - -: -' - * :'::E.: day Adventist community through education, advocacy, and reconciliation. Founded in 1976, the organization was incorporated in 198 1 and has a board of 14 officers and 10 regional coordinators. The Colin Cook is exposed in the March Conn*tion: .Personal accounts from Kinship members who ha,, e :..= - . - - ,,: r- Colin Cook .All the details of Cook's background, how Ques: :.::- . man is up to in the 1990s. :.If you have anything you'd like to share concerni:: -- - - - ,. \"i : ::--.: send it to the Connectio,n as soon as possible. Regional Coordinators Region I :i! :[ : John Sam (718) 856-9773 Tg .::: j:: !:illa-i Region 2 Heidi Johnson (301 )946-0295 !.:: :: - K: 3':=r,. :':i :15--1076 Region 3 Erik Mann (404) 633-8447 i.:;:: 3 Dar:: ir-:: :a9r.177-6194 Region 4 R.:gon 9 Gry Stebbeds (7 I 5) 47 9 - 4227 Br:--e Bcvd (8 I 8) 708-7448 Region 5 Region l0 Floyd Poenitz (21 4) 7 07 -17 91 Geraid Alex (613) 234-0555 Iwdyru. Gdd Ad, Rotrid &bn.t. i. L Adold, Drv.E'ry, Kt. Gne. hk Md[ Nih IM1 hrd kr ,d b sffi \\6.a R{9. YU|ru 2 Connection

Kinship supports Foster resigns, UFMCC quest for Williams moves up, membership in National O'Grady speaks Council of Churches Spanish, and other snippets from this year's board meeting Larry Hallock and Nikki Pulissin churches, a 1 SO-year-old Gothic revival Transitions: Brad Foster officially represented Kinship lastNovember at a Presbyterian cathedral, for an resigned as treasurer, and Merlin Brown four-day leadership conference in moved into his position. Nikki Pulissin ecumenical worship service \"celebrating resignedas Public Relations andReggie Baltimore sponsored by the Universal Williams took her place. the contributions of lesbian and gay Fellowship of Metropolitan Community The vacancy created by Reggie's Christians.\" A handful attended, along departure from Member-at-Large for Churches (IIFMCC). The conference Minority Outreach has been filled by with local UFMCC members and others. James O'Grady. This Member-at-Large was held concurrently with the annual The guest speaker was the Rev. Paul position has been renamed Spanish Sherry, president of the United Church World Outreach. James announced he board meeting of the nation's largest of Christ; a response was delivered by has successfully translated several gay materials into Spanish for Kinship. He ecumenical organization, the National theRev. Darlene Gamer, BoardofElders has also contacted several foreign Spanish gay newspapers and got Council of Churches (NCC), which the of UFMCC (to be reprinted in an Kinship's name published. He is gay-oriented denomination has upcoming Connection). Kinship's currently corresponding with 12 people petitioned for membership since 1981 . representatives and the other leadership internationally. conference attendees participated in the Also represented at the conference was I The board officially approved the music, communion and readings in the the homophile organizations of caucuses awesome setting of the old edifice. phasing out of Kinship's Los Angeles P.O. Box as webeginto advertise anew of Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans, The workshops UFMCC sponsored for the gayflesbian groups were held in address. Presbyterians, Unitarian-Universalists, the adjacent and equally grand two- story parsonage and included topics I The board voted and agreed to Disciples of Christ, Methodists, and the such as Leadership Styles, immediately place a year-l ong adinThe Society of Friends. Adv o c ate advertising Kinship. Communication/Newsletters, The dual-purpose conference offered Cooperative Planning Activities, I Kinship will begin to accept Visa workshops and interaction for the gayl Fighting the Religious Right, etc. Plans and MasterCard. lesbian groups, as well as an opportunity are being made for asimilar conference I Darnell Sherrod presented a report in San Antonio where next year's NCC forthemto attend actual meetings of the board meeting will be held. on Community Spirit phone company. NCC board in visible support of The Metropolitan Community An ad appears in this month's UFMCC's membership quest. During Church, noted for its special outreach to Connection. the gay and lesbian community, was one meeting, for example, gay and founded in 1 968 by the Rev. Troy Perry, I Bob Lee reported that $285 (thank lesbian supporters responded to a author of \"The Lord is My Shepherd and He Knows I'm Gay.\" you !) was raised as a result of the Care moving speech that called for love and The Presbyterian church that hosted Package ads which appeared in last inclusiveness (while excluding the gayllesbian worship service supports year's Connections. Twelve holiday UFMCC) by standing with protest signs packages were delivered to Kinship a street ministry for men and women, members. Later, Bob was recognized and chanting \"Shame! Shame!\" andtransactional housing for six men.It by the board for his outstanding work urges empowerment and justice for the with HIV/AIDS-infected persons in Historically, conservative poor, and it is a \"More Light\" continued on the next page denominations threaten to withdraw congregation that encourages Connection 3 their memberships from the Council if inclusiveness and the full participation it grants membership to UFMCC, or of all people regardless of race, age, even observer status, which would grant gender, income, marital status or sexual orientation. speaking but not voting privileges. Informal talks have been on-again, off- again over the years, and by the close of this session they seemed to be on again. But that has yet to mean good news is imminent. On the last evening of events, UFMCC invited all thrce hundred NCC delegates to one ofthe country's grandest

Kinship. phone numbe r is (7 1 4) 248- 1299 . There place in March or April. Occurring around the same time will I Katie Gurian is working on several will be an answering machine to take fund-raising projects for Kinship. your messages. The office manager, be the annual Women's Retreat. Presently she is collecting favorite Hal Jobe, will return your call or handle Details will be announced in the recipes for a Kinship cookbook. More your inquiry within 24 hours. He will March Connection. details will follow. also be in the office during regular office hours on Thursdays through Mother fights back f John Sam announced the final details Sundays, if you want to talk to him Recently, a lay minister in a small SDA of next summer's Kampmeeting in New church in eastern Pennsylvania as part York state. Registrationforms and all of directly. of his homily, spoke negatively about homosexuals. You should have nothing the details will be in the March Member dies to do with them, don't even speak to them, he preached. Connection. Sadly, Kinship member Alonzo In the congregation was the mother I The Connectionisnowbeingprinted Lanning died as a result of a stroke in of a gay boy who had recently died of mid-January. Alonzo was known as a by a new printer. This change, in part, is person who would buy a house to sleep AIDS. She was incensed about the what permits this issue of th e Connection to be 24 pages long. the night, if he couldn't locate any reckless statements being made by this man from the pulpit. She planned her Kinship's new otfice opens available rooms . More details will appear reaction carefully. as soon as they are made available. Afterall ouryears of discussion, Kinship In this small church the church service finally has an official office. Two retreats planned for is held before Sabbath School. During spflng Kinship's business office is a place the Sabbath School lesson which for the general membership to receive The annual HIV/AIDS retreat, assistance with questions or problems followedthe spiteful sermon, the mother relating to the operation of Kinship. The coordinated by Member-at Large for told personal stories about her gay son. HIV/AIDS Ministry Bob Lee, will take She described his loving personality, his clever wit, and of his being a wonderful blessing in her life. She said that she could not let the pastor get away with such hate. One of the most serious diseases of our time is prejudice. As information is more and more availabie and actively presented in our churches, there is less and less excuse for its existence and for the resulting human suffering felt by our members. I salute this Adventist mother who had the courage to stand up and say' \"Enough''' -{raig A. scott Gifts, wine, and fellowship in Region 4 The Chicago-Metro Chapter's Christmas party is reported to have been a success. The evening consisted of a Beef Stroganoff dinner, gift exchanging, socializing, and numerous games of Yahtzee. In attendance attheparty were Darnell Sherrod and his friend Mark, Larry Hallock and his friend Rick, and hosts Philip and John. On January 22the chapter celebrated the beginning of the new year with a Connection

irjffi.iIlffi,Ns-ffiffiffiffiH will continue to describe other movies Our next get-together will meet in simpie candle light communion service. in our library. Contributions are always Montreal during March or April. Anyone appreciated. For more information about Hosted by a SDA pastor, the service what's available, write to Library, c/o interested in attending should contact consisted of a short message followed Connection. Gerald Alex at (613) 234-0555. by the partaking of bread and grape juice. Following the service was an Members party in Canada F. Mueller Agape supper and an evening of games The weekend of December ll and 12 -Peter and socializing. found members of Kinship Canada from Kinship Canada library Mark your social calendars for these four cities, two provinces, and as far project upcoming Chicago-Metro events: away as 5 hours arriving in Ottawa for our first get-together. In attendance was Kinship Canada has begun to work on a Kinship members and friends will be lending library. They are looking for Our Lady of Oshawa, James, Gerald meeting on February 19 for a dinner at tapes of speakers at Kampmeeting, Ann Sather; March 19 will be Theatre AIex, and Robert. Four members at a meeting may not sound like very many, books, articles, cassettes, videos, and Nite; and Aprll23 will be a dinner at but with our membership spread all other items that can be added to their Uncle Julios Hacienda Restaurant. over the counter, this was an event I The lending library. Your help in this project weekend was hosted by our president, would be appreciated. Contact Chicago Chapter leader Philip Gerald Alex, and his lover. This project is being helmed by at (3I2) 563-0883 to R.S.V.P. or for On Saturday, we had the opportunity Kinship Canada Secretary Peter F. more information. to get to know each other before a Mueller who can be contacted through their headquarters address at: P.O. Box Member is interviewed on wonderful supper. In the evening some 408, Station C, Toronto, Ontario M6J video magazine members attended the Ottawa Gay Men's 3P5, Canada. Chorus, while others sat around and Kinship member David Valdes is caught up on old times. KinNet brings members interviewed on the December 1993 issue Sunday morning was sweetened with together daily a pancake breakfast with fresh Quebec of Network Q, the monthly gay and maple syrup, thanks to James. Abusiness Several enterprising Kinship members meeting was held for the remainder of have been communicating with each lesbian video magazine. He is president the morning. other via a forum-type system on the of the gay and lesbian student group at computer network Internet during the Emerson College. In the afternoon we piled into Rusty last six months. Additional Kinship Lady moves to Florida Rambler and headed to the capitol members are welcometojointhis group. OurLady oftheNavy, notto be confused buildings to snap some pictures. In the For information, e-mail Floyd Poenitz with Our Lady of Oshawa, has relocated photograph accompanying this text, the at fl oydp @ microsoft.com. from Chicago. Ashley R. now resides in capitol buildings are in the background Jacksonville, Florida. and all four of us are standing in front of Excerpts from some of these a RCMP (Mountie) care. That's right discussions appear in the \"Letters\" New Mexican movements folks, those men don't only ride horses ! section of this issue. Look for further Karol has finally completed her home, musings in upcoming Connections. so she will be moving out of Terre Price's home. Terre, who claimed to have been building a home of his own, is moving in with her. Gay movies available in Kinship's new library SDA Kinship now has a lending library From left to right:Our Lady of Oshawa with Lillianne and Maude (visiting from opening for its members. Included in Quebec for their first time); James with Rosie, who is a Tanuki; Gerald Alex, who can be found under all that hair is holding Francis; and Robert, who is holding the this collection are tilms such as Maurice, bear with no name. The Boys in the Band, SilverLake Lift: Connection 5 The View from Here, and Am I Gay? Stories of Coming Out in America. Connection's film critic, Jackie Summerton, has been reviewing some of the films that are now available. She

The cArlng church? Par,2 l,ast month: prominent place in HA; this assurance had now been reversed. Since church leaders had opted to stay with the view that the Dr. Ron l,awson just discovered that Colin Cookis sexually only acceptable homosexual was one undergoing \"recovery,\" abusing his counselees through his Quest Learning Center. this left them little option other than to use Cook's writings, tapes, speaking abilities-and his experience of \"deliverance\" Stuck between this knowledge and his membership in the as an example. By December 1987 Cook had recovered his church-despised Kinship, Dr. l,awson must decide if he is confidence to such an extent that he announced, in a report going to expose Cook and risk potential wrath from his addressed to Wilson and copied to forty others, that he had launched\"Questll\" andwas counselinghis firsttwocounselees. church. Kinship members were so disgusted to find the Adventist Quest Learning Center closes Church rehabilitating Cook and promoting him once more that they demonstrated on the sidewalks outside the General I decided that I could not allow such a pattern of sexual Conference offi ces in Washington, D.C. on October 23, 1987 . exploitation by Cook to continue. Consequently, in October The signs they carried demanded that the church stop supporting 1986I wrote aletterto GC president Neal Wilson, telling him Cook and that it, with its large hospital network in the U. S. and of what I had unexpectedly found at Quest.28 Cook admitted abroad, start doing something significant to combat the AIDS my findings were correct, and was removed within a week; epidemic. GC personnel called the police four times during shortly afterwards a decision was made to close the Quest counseling program, but to continue support services for HA the demonstration. This demonstration happened to take chapters. While church officials made no attempt to justify Cook's actions, they continued to defend his methods. They place during the Annual Council of the church, at which, after began to \"blame the messenger,\" showing greatly increased failures at the previous two Councils, it adopted a \"statement of Concem on Sexual Behavior,\" which targeted \"homosexual bitterness towards both Kinship and me personally. They were practices (gay and lesbian)\" in particular and declared that \"all especially chagrined by my finding that no one whom I had interviewed had changed orientation or knew anyone who may be freed from the grip ofperversions and sinful practices\" had, and attacked me in public letters for supposedly [Minutes]. purposefully avoiding the \"successful\" cases, even though my Adventist church sues Kinship method had consciously sought out reputed successes. The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists filed a suit against Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, The Adventist press initially made no mention of the Inc. for \"breach of trademark\" in Decemb er 1987 .32 Because closing of Quest or the removal of it's director, so that the the suit had to be shaped to address commercial law, it did not impressions of the program as the solution to the problem of even mention that Kinship members are homosexuals and homosexuality created by past glowing reports remained Adventists. Its prime claim was that by using \"Seventh-day uncorrected. Eventually I asked the editor of the Adventist Adventist\" or its acronym as part of its name, Kinship was Review about this omission, and he responded with a likely to cause confusion and to attract funds which donors \"newsbreak\"-seven months late-announcing merely that think are going to the church, and to harm the church's Quest had been closed because of the resignation of Colin business activities. However, the accompanyingpress release, Cook as its director. Ironically, the same issue included a full entitled \"Church Moves Against Support Group for page advertisement urging Adventists to subscribe to the Homosexuals,\" made the real object of the suit abundantly Review with the heading \"It's my church. I want an honest clear: the GC was rejecting Adventist homosexuals and the picture of what's going on.\"2e In September 1987, eleven ministry of Kinship. In addition to seeking to compel Kinship months after the situation was disclosed, Ministry published to change its name, the suit also demanded substantial monetary another long interview with Cook which, while indicating that there had been improprieties, strongly endorsed Cook's damages. methods as the answer to homosexuality, announced (in a This Goliath versus David suit was very poorly timed from photo caption that was apparently left in mistakenly) that he the church' s point of view, for it happened to coincide with the belated discovery of the Quest scandal by the media and the would \"soon resume leading seminars for recovering filing ofa suit against the church by abused Quest counselees. Although the latter suit was independent of Kinship, all these homosexuals,\" and did a great deal to rehabilitate him.30 And, issues were drawn together by the press, resulting in indeed, Cook was the major speaker at both the HA seminar and at its annual conference that year.3r Eva had promised Kinship in a meeting reviewing the Quest scandal in December 1986 that Cook would in the future be excluded from any 6 Connection

considerable negative publicity for the church.33 \"ls it either logical or fair to The GC hired two major law firms to present its case, and assume that Adventist has since admitted that it spent over $200,000 on the suit. homosexuals all have the Depositions were taken in the fall of 1990, and the case was argued in the Federal Court in Los Angeles in February 199 1 . 'gift of celibacy' when the The legal proceedings were traumatic for Kinship members. However, in its verdict, which was announced in October Adventist leaders who seek 199 I , the court rejected the suit, thus allowing Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. to keep its full name. to impose this standard on Church leaders accepted the advice of their lawyers not to them are almost without appeal the decision. When I asked contacts within the GC about how the news exception married males?\" of the verdict was received among the personnel there, they includethe fear of infection, moral disgust with thesepatients, commented that even though it rankled it caused much less and the risk offinancial problems attendant on providing care discussion than the news, released about the same time, of for patients who often lack adequate medical insurance yet physical differences between the brains of homosexuals and may require long stays in the hospital. Most Adventists with heterosexuals. Dr. Simon LeVay, a neuroscientist at the Salk AIDS, rather than face rejection by the congregations, have silently slipped away without putting them to a direct test. Institute, had found that a cluster of neurons in the Those that have remained have usually, but not universally, found that their church failed the test. Moreover, the families hypothalamus, which is believed to govern sexual activity, is of PWAs have been shamed into silence.36 smaller in homosexual men than heterosexual men.3a The Since the church organization has failed to respond, the lead among Adventists in reaching out to its PWAs and their possibility of genetic differences raised the question of whether family members has been left to despised Kinship, which early developed programs delivering emotional, spiritual, the church, in insisting that homosexuals change their physical, and financial support. Several other Adventists have also become involved with the issue, but the lack of other orientation, was doing the equivalent of asking an \"Ethiopian involved Adventist organizations has forced them to join with activists outside the church. The most notable Adventist in to change his skin.\" these ranks is Eunice Diaz, whose selfless service resulted in The fact that a group of gays and lesbians can continue to her appointment to the National Commission on AIDS. While church periodicals trumpeted this news,37 she replies sadly identify themselves as Seventh-day Adventists, and that that \"with the minimal response of our church, I don't go nothing can be done about this, continues to rankle the church leaders. Kinship's overtures to the church since the verdict, around waving a flag saying I'm a Seventh-day Adventist.\"38 suggesting that enmities be forgotten and communication A small group of church members in southern California concerning common problems, such as AIDS, begin, have so far been spurned.35 recently formed a new organization, Adventists Responding The church's response to AIDS to AIDS (ARTA), which has established an \"800\" phone number. There is poetic justice in the fact that Kinship has Church leaders have been extraordinarily slow to recognize been able to help support ARTA's phone bill from the funds that the AIDS epidemic raises any issues for Adventists, or paid it by the GC to meet some of its legal expenses after the even for the church' s widespread international hospital system. latter's suit against it was decided in its favor. This is in sharp contrast with the situation during the polio Meanwhile, however, after a silence of eleven years, the epidemic of the 1950s, when Adventist hospitals were so magazine for Adventist youth,Insight, addressed the issue of homosexuality once again with an in-depth article written by prominent in the struggle to bring healing to innocent young its editor.3e He admitted that the church should have issued a victims that a prominent Ohio family donated a 400 bed public apology following the collapse of the Quest Learning hospital in suburban Dayton to the church. Rather than being seen as innocent, persons with AIDS (PWAs) are viewed as Center, and that it had not moved ahead with any other culpable, for the AIDS epidemic has been strongly associated with homosexuality in North America, the locus of church approach to help gay and lesbian church members. In many headquarters, and all practicing homosexuals are, by defi nition, respects the article represented a real advance in understanding, willful sinners. Consequently, in the words of Bekele Heye, President of the Eastern African Division of the worldchurch, especially in its sections entitled \"Nobody chooses to be where AIDS is rampant among Adventists, \"AIDS is not an Adventist issue!\" This statement typifies Adventist attitudes homosexual\", \"'Gay bashing' is never acceptable, especially almost everywhere. for Christians\", \"Many fears about homosexuality are The maj or response among Adventists to AIDS has therefore irrational\", \"Homosexuals are not by nature necessarily been to affirm the truth ofthe church's stand against \"sexual immorality.\" The church has made no serious endeavors to promiscuous or child molesters\", \"Changing ones homosexual mobilize in response to the epidemic, whichhas never become a focal point during atl the hype about \"the Caring Church.\" orientation is difficult and rare\", and \"Homosexuals can be Nor have Adventist hospitals gone out of their way to treat Connection 7 AIDS patients. The reasons given to explain this pattern

genuine, model Christians.\" However, it defines such model interviews I completed back-to-back in Los Angeles. One of Christians as those who \"battle against their orientation all the questions on the interview schedule for pastors is worded, their lives\" for \"homosexual activity is sinful\" and cannot be \"How many gay members do you have?\" When I asked this condoned.{ In insisting that gay and lesbian Adventists remain celibate, just as single heterosexuals must remain celibate, the of the pastor of a large Hispanic church, his first response was article misses a fundamental difference between the two \"none\", quickly changed to \"maybe one.\" He told of a groups and what it would impose on them: single heterosexuals member who had been disfellowshipped because of his have the option and the continuing hope of finding love and sexual fulfillment in marriage. The demand that homosexuals homosexuality, and who had later been rebaptized because he claimed to have been \"cured.\" But because the members did struggle all their lives to remain celibate provides ironic not believe his claim, they shunned him when he attended counterpoint to the advice of St. Paul, who advocated that, church. The pastor did not speak to him either because, he ideally, Christians should remain single; however herecognized said, this would have offended the lay members in the that since not all had that \"gift\", those without it should marry rather than \"burn with passion\".+t Is it either logical or fair to congregation. Following this interview, I made my way to a assume that Adventist homosexuals all have the \"gift of predominantly white church only a few miles away. When I celibacy\" when the Adventist leaders who seek to impose this asked the pastor the same question, he told me that his youth standard on them are almost without exception married males ? leader, who was highly admired, was widely known to be gay Such a behavioral standardplaces an intolerable burden on and that he and his lover often sang duets in seryices.a3 many homosexual Adventists which is especially dangerous The career needs of denominational administrators make in the midst of an AIDS epidemic. It has the effect of them most sensitive to the views of their own kind; they tend to respond cautiously to issues because of their awareness of discouraging gay Adventists from forming relationships, with internal political pressures; and their theotogy is often more the result that when they \"burn with passion\" they are likely to engage in sex with partners they barely know. Just as it is in touch with what they were taught by their mothers than with often the \"good girl\" who gets pregnant because she regards current debates. In contrast, church pastors are forced to deal more directly with church members and their problems. The being prepared with contraceptives as premeditated sin, so it same is true of teachers, counselors, and officials in church schools. Such exposure can make them more sensitive to is the homosexual who is struggling to be celibate who is liable to risk AIDS through promiscuous encounters. needs and more pragmatic in their approach. They are more likely to be aware of changing attitudes amongtheirmembers, While the Adventist church has officially refrained from joining with the efforts of other conservative Christian groups in otherdenominations, andin society in general, andbe better to restrict the civil rights of homosexuals, they have not followed the lead of many of the mainstream Protestant attuned to current issues. They are much more likely to have denominations in becoming more open to the needs of their had to respond directly to the presence and pain of an gay and lesbian members. In insisting that Adventist Adventist who is gay or has AIDS; many have read mailings homosexuals struggle to remain celibate, a position which is received from Kinship; some have participated in endorsedin Blake's article by RobertFolkenberg, presidentof Kampmeetings, and have discussed their experiences there the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, the with others. In general, there is increasing awareness and Adventist church embraces a position which is similar to that empathy among such people; however, these vary markedly held by the Roman Catholic church. It has been noted by in degree from one person to another, from one social milieu sociologists that when one organization sees itself as implacably opposed to anotler, it often comes to resemble its enemy in to another. important ways. Adventist theology sees Adventism as in Support from Kinship, consciousness-raising as a result basic opposition to, and ultimately in danger from, Catholicism. of the gay movement, and awareness of changing attitudes It has come to resemble Catholicism closely in such matters within society and that some pastors have proved very as its hierarchical structure, its view of salvation (which supportive have led increasing numbers of gay and lesbian combines grace and works), its position on the ordination of Adventists to be open about their sexuality within their churches. They have often found that this news makes little women, and its demands on its homosexual members. difference, especially where they were respected earlier as Attitudes in Congregations and Colleges Christians; they no longer seem to risk being disfellowshipped A recent article in Insight concluded that \"Homosexuals, by \"coming out\" atchurch.a Some bring tieirlovers to church as long as they are not practicing homosexuals, can be members in good and regular standing of any Seventh-day with them. When the latter ask for baptism, some pastors Adventist church. They can hold church offices. Ifan alcoholic proceed readily, others nervously seek the advice of local who never drinks alcohol can hold any church office, a church officials who may then insist that they refuse. homosexual who never practices homosexuality can hold any church office.\"a2 When a Kampmeeting graduate was installed recently as But in fact there is considerable difference from one pastor of a very large, well known, and very diverse congregation to another. This was well illustrated by two congregation, he stated that a major concern of his was to lead 8 Connection the members to be truly accepting of one another, and listed gays and lesbians among those to be accepted. It is likely that news of this happening will influence other pastors. Similarly, some gay and lesbian students are choosing to be ore open in their colleges. They have found mentors among

the faculty (often Kampmeeting graduates), been invited to midst of an AIDS epidemic. speak openly in classes, and discovered that some of the administrators can be understanding and supportive. While Conclusion most of these have found that some of their fellow students This paper has tested the fit of its slogan \"the Caring initially respond with hostility, they have also received considerable support from their peers. Church\" to Adventism by assessing how it treats its homosexual Two events almost a decade apart suggest considerable members. As measured here, the official church fails the test, change ofattitude among theologians and biblical scholars. In for it has proven to be more concerned with rules and image 1983 two Kinship members were invited to speak at the than the needs of itspeople. Despitethe failure of the \"change\" meeting of the Andrews Society for Religious Studies, the program they backed, and the grossly unethical sexual organization of religion faculty from the Adventist Seminary exploitation of young and fragile counselees by its director, and Adventist universities and colleges in North America, church leaders helped to restore the latter to aplace where he which meets in conjunction with the American Academy of could resume counseling and continue to insist that the only Religion. The president of the society chose to omit this acceptable homosexual is one struggling to change his/trer session from the printed program lest it attract unwelcome orientation. Their prejudice led them to sue SDA Kinship as attention, preferring to announce it at a meeting the night a means of distancing themselves from gay Adventists, and it before it was due to be held. However, when the members has prevented them from seeing the AIDS epidemic as gathered the next day for the session, two or three of them relevant to Adventism. Their tenacity in clinging to traditional suddenly protested very vehemently. The session was biblical proof-texts and in manipulating the writings of their prophet to support they anti-gay prejudices are reminiscent of abandoned amidst confusion when none of the other officers the manner in which the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa until recently clung to biblical interpretations that ormembers responded. In contras! when the theme'Adventists justified apartheid. While the General Conference has recently shown a surprising degree of flexibility in adopting a position and Social Justice\" was selected for the meetings in 1992,I on abortion which leaves the ultimate decision, without was asked to address the experience of gay and lesbian coercion, to the pregnant woman,6 there is no sign yet of Adventists in a sessionof social justice within the church. My applying this approach to homosexuals within the church. presentation was warmly received, and the president of the However, there have been some positive shifts at the local society later told me that these meetings would be remembered level in North America, where individual cases are most often addressed. The shifts seem isolated and incremental because best for that paper because of its history-making nature. of the diversityof situations. Nevertheless, in the twelve yeius since the first Kampmeeting, there has been a remarkable Students at Adventists academies (high schools) have to change inthe tone ofthe stories toldby newcomers of growing date proved much less willing to be open about their sexual up gay in the Adventist Church. For the first few years these questions and identities. School personnel at this level are were known as the \"horror stories\". Such a designation is much less likely to indicate that they would act supportively, rarely apt today. The very existence of Kinship, the fact that gayAdventists nowfinditatayoungerage, changing attitudes and there are too many stories concerning harsh discipline. in church and society, which are reflected increasingly among This situation is problematic, for it is at this age that many Adventist parents-all have made a remarkable impact. students are discovering their sexuality and becoming sexually An extraordinary contribution continues to be made by Kinship in the name of the church, to the latter's chagrin. It is active.a5 reaching out with increasing effectiveness to young Adventists with questions about their sexuality through its publicity and I was approached recently by the editor of a periodical that its \"800\" number. It sponsors the main program to help serves the deans of Adventist academies and colleges. Adventists with AIDS and their families. It nurtures gay Adventists spirituality, encourages then to think through Explainingthatdeans hadhadaready answerwhenconfronted ethics ofbeing agay Christian, and fosters stable relationships by a homosexual student while Quest's reputation was intact, among them. Its members have proved, through the long but now had no answer at all, he asked me to write an article that would set forth openly, to stimulate discussion, how ordeal of the recent suit brought against Kinship by the Kinship would have deans deal with such situations. When I General Conference, astonishing tenacious of their Adventist completed a draft of the paper, I phoned the editor and read it heritage. to him. He responded with enthusiasm-it was just what he This is the second oftwo parts ofapaperwritten and readby Dr. Ron Inwson at the meeting ofThe Andrews Society for Religious Studies, San Francisco, wanted. However, authorities in the GC Education Department November 1992, and ot the meeting ofThe Society for the Scientific Study of Religion, Washington, D. C., November 1992. For acomplete list offootnotes, later intervened to prevent him from publishing it. send a SASE to ConnectiorL P. O. Box 68, lzbanon, IL 62254. Young Adventists growing up gay and lesbian still face Connection 9 important difficulties. They are without positive role models within most churches and usually feel that there is no one to whom they can turn for advise. Their churches do nothing to facilitate their dating, nor to encourage them to bring their friends there. The numberof congregations where significant numbers of them are aware of one another or where they feel sufficiently comfortable to be able to bring their partners with them to church is still very limited. They thus generally feel alone and without support. This situation is likely to inhibit bonding and to encourage promiscuous behavior-in the

c, Viewpoint 1 s/ Qsc/ Meet my friend Gary! He is a real friend. Whatever you want him to do for you, he does willingly. He also plays the or piano and organ beautifully. Sometimes, he even gives a solo. The Lord sure gave him musical talent, and he has ,,Ll( made use of it. Around ourneighborhood they know him for his playing, so many people ask him to play for them. He w plays forchurch services, weddings, andfunerals. Whenwe had potluck, he told us very excitedly about the pipe organ ,, t,l ( which was being installed at the Episcopalian church. He bv just could not wait to play on such an instrument. It A collection of letters written by reminded me of Dr. Becker at Andrews University when heterosexual Seventh-day Adventists theirpipe organ was installed. Foramusician, itmustbe the height of musical enjoyment. about their gay counterparts But Gary is not only a musician. Let me give you an 10 Connection example. We had potluck one Sabbath. My 87-year-old cousin andl satdown at atable. (She couldnotstandforvery long.) When everyone else sat down, no one sat at our table. Some even took chairs away from our table-when there were extra chats against the wall-so they could be with their friends. No one came to our table. My cousin asked me, \"Are we lepers?\" But then Gary came and asked, \"May I sit with you?\" He was the only one who wanted to be with us. Gary also helped me in Pathfinders and Vacation Bible School. The kids loved him. Even those who are grown up now still come to him for help. His cousin's girlfriend wanted to come to church, so Gary picked her up, and took her home after the services. One of the young girls attempted suicide, and only Gary stayed by her and tried to help her. Who came and visited us when we were new in the area? That's right, Gary! When the bookmobile comes from the Conference office, Gary will get the books you want so you do not have to drive 50 miles at night. If you need something from the health food store, which is located 90 miles away, Gary gets it willingly because he works there, he tells you! Don't you think everyone would love a Christian like that? But no, Gary has one fault. He is gay. He does not practice it, but he was born that way. His grandfather tried to beat it out of him, and for years Gary felt so sinful and deprived of God's love. But then he read his Bible and it showed him that no matter how sinful you are, only God's grace can help you. Then, the burden was lifted from him. He knew God forgives him from this sin and he vowed never to indulge in it. How are we with our sins? Take temper, for example. Is that only a small sin, and Gary's is a big one? How many times do we fall into temptation again and again? What struggles Gary has born with this affliction. But is he not the only one who can be sympathetic with the other gays? Can the Lord use him to that group of people? Gary has Eied. I know a few of his friends, but they have so many problems that they cannot cope with them and follow Christ. Their craving is too strong, so they leave Gary and the only thing he can do is pray for them. The church found out Gary was gay, so they did not want

him to play the organ for them. Gary's whole life is music. steward department. At that time----over 40 to 50 years So now he plays for other churches who do not care ifhe is gay. agG-they were dangerous to the health of the men aboard our ships. His church did not want to sit next to him. They were afraid of AIDS. Gary does not have it. He does not do this Regarding the article by Carlos Medloing \"Taking a Step Toward Sodom\", we are so deep in Sodom that the temptation. But to show he does not practice, must he question could be, \"Can we ever get out?\" marry? Why can't he be single and do the Lord's calling his Uncle W- way? Why do they have to look daggers at him when he comes to church? So, I make it my habit to sit with him. Viewpoint 3 One day I came to church early. Gary went in and sat on Don't get me wrong, I would never consider any child of the bench in the foyer. I got up and motioned for him to come God to be a hopelessly lost sinner. I believe God loves and sit with us. My cousin and I do not mind. He is our people of all races, nationalities, shapes, temperaments, friend. and sexual persuasions. And since God loves all people, we should too. I am reminded of a situation which happened with my mother. We livedin Indonesia, and ofteninvitedaladyover I've heard homosexuals say, \"Do you think I would to visit and eat with us. I was young, so I thought to myself, Why does that lady use so much powder on herface? Iust chose to be gay in a world where we are despised, hurt, and before our family left the country, I overheard the lady tell my mother how much she valued the time she had spent with rejected? I have no choice but to be who I was born.\" our family; how much she would miss us. She also said our family had never treated her like a leper. Yes, she had the While I accept everyone for who they are, I don't disease, and it was not contagious, but mother never let her consider the drunkard to be heaven-bound due to his know she knew. fixation on the bottle. The obese person is not excused from Why do we shun people when they do not dress or their uncontrollable appetite. And, likewise, I don't believe behave like us? Why do we want to conform them to what we think is right? Are they not all God's children, or does the practicing homosexual-who knows better-will be He love only me but not them as much?! entering the pearly gates. Hoping that soon this church will show Christ's charac- Some may say these three examples have nothing in ter wholly and completely is my prayer. May I learn this, too, with the help of the Holy Spirit. Amen! common, but they do. Follow: Scientists suggest that the tendency to be addicted to alcohol is heredity. They also say Viewpoint 2 many people who have difficulties with excessive weight are born with the so-called \"fat gene\". Now, these men of Dear R-, science say the attraction to members of the same sex is also This letter is kinda like tough love. It is one letter I am genetically fixed. hesitating to even write. I just don't want to hurt anyone. Does that mean the drunkard must remain a sot because Early in your years there in B-, your thoughts on he was born with an addictive gene? Does the overweight person have to always remain fat? No ! Just because aperson fundamentalismwere acceptable to us. Butyou have drifted is born with a disadvantage does not mean they need to suffer the rest oftheir lives (and forfeit their salvation) as a sideways until it seems as if the word fundamental is result. unusable in the context of religion. God gave us minds which have the will power to On gay perfornance (not the people), their efforts on the overcome the sinful tendencies with which humans are streets, in the press, the movies, TV, their attempt to claim born. Do you suppose Christ was attracted to men during normal, and their desire to be given the same civil liberties some point of His earthly ministry? I'll bet He was ! But did andrespect as the society in general is beyond my compre- He yield to temptation? It is written He lived a sinless life; the strength of His mind overcame the temptations of the hension. When they keep up their lifestyle, they don't need flesh. any support or sympathy from any of us. While it is difficult to determine if homosexuality is We see it as a disease spreading. A nasty way of life. condemned in the Bible, God did attempt to teach man by Otherwise, why their bathhouses? example. An example He set occurred in the beginning of mankind at the Garden of Eden. (Forget the annoying adage Remember I'm not talking about those who no longer \"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.\") But His practice this filthy habit. choice is clear; He did create a man and a woman to give Gay performance is a disgrace to all living creatures and each other companionship. a shame to all the animal world and insects and any other As I stated earlier, I love all of God's children, including living creature. homosexuals. Do I think homosexuals will be in heaven? Yes, I am a crusader against the gay way of life. Yes. And I also believe that the homosexual who knows As a member of the Sailor's Union, when I was sailing, what God through the Bible teaches, but does it not, will sadly be absent from that joyful union in the sky. each depart had its own union. Officers Deck, Engine, and These thre e viewpoints we re written by two men and a woman who may nev er Stewards. The Steward department was the food handlers. The gays prevailed in numbers. The deck sailors went on lotow their letters made it into d gay journal. The authors' ages rctnge strike to get them kicked off the ships. We formed our own between mid-2ls to mid-71s. Connection 1l

Are $&q Abvep$fts€ v6*eeefu sff$Bsrebmfu$s? Steven's story shows a record of indifference and abuse This is a story that does not blame the church for to this child of hers. Martha's life was hard, her health was Steven's homosexuality, but seeks to ruake it faiiing. Her belief in the church and in God to help her tind accountable for its reaction to a gay person that answers to her life's struggles was untailirrg. reached oltt to it for help and guidance. in looking at his life, I see Steven tried many times to reach out to the SDA church for help. The best reacrion that he We affirm our young people in the Adventist church all the time. A very large portion of the ongoing expenses of the SDA received was indif rence; the w.orst was abuse. Four critical church go io stipport one of the la_rgest Protestant school time he cried out to his church for help. systems in the u,orld. As long as the child attending the school and local churches is heterosexuaily identified, the child has Tire youth social hadjust ended at church, anci as its leader I began the task of taking some of the earliteens home. I can sllooth sailing through the system for proper role modei remember the ride home that ni_eht quite vividly, even though identification, peer acceptance, as well as proper guidance it happened almost fi{'teen years ago. On that chiily fall and pastoral counseling. evening Steven \"came out\" to me as a young, gay male. FIe tvas I have seen some acceptance toward gay people amongst the last passenger to be dropped off, so I pulled over to the side professional teachers, pastors, and counselors in our church, of the road to let him tell me his story. but these are mostly professionals that rank in the minority within the larger number of personnel ernployed by the church I was too ill-equipped to deal with this information. It to minister to its people. would be another five or six years until I would conle out tr{ake no ntistake about it, this church is a homophobic myself. That night I'm sure that Steven was forming opinions institution. llnlike leaders of many other Protestant churches and building a case in his own mind in deciding if the church rvho are actively and openly studying the subject of was a safe and welcome place for him to grow up. It was so homosexuality and seeking ways to reach out constructively easy for Steven to tell me his situation, and it v,zas so hard for me to know what to say. In a way I envied him fbr dealing with to its gay and lesbian members, our church leaders are faiiing this subject so early in life. to provide moral and ethical ieadership to change the improper I said the obvious things that a person in my situation attitudt',s that members have regarding homosexual would say. I told him that knowing that he was gay would not membelship. They are afraid to shape and mold the opinions change the way that I would iook at him. He wouid receive no within the church that are not rationai or properly Biblically condenrnation from me. i probably offered my friendship and prayed secretly that he would not seek it because I could not, interpretecl. As a result, the church becomes the discrirninator, as an elder in the church, be seen befriendi ng a person rumored not the healer. How sadi Horv un-CLu'isrlike! to be gay without calling my own sexual orientation into question. I was a single man and an elder. Many of tlie people Let's look at the life of one person, an earliteen Adventist in the church were always trying to marry me off. I let people believe this heterosexual picture of me. This was damaging to youth born into a struggling middle-class family in any emerging young gay man looking for a role model in an institution that his family thought of so highly. My masculinity Pennsylvania, While this was not the model home that one was threatened if I embraced this young man. would see on Ozzie and Harriet, it was nevertheless a fourth generation Adventist horne rvhose life was built around the That was a moment in my life that I am not proud of. I have church. The family's attendance and participation in church thought about it often. Steven and I rvould never share a mofe was regular. With a single exception, all o1 the kids were revealing moment than that night, one t'all, some fifteen years ago. Looking back I wish that I could have been a role model educated in SDA academies. T'housands of this family's for him to look at, befriend, and feel safe with. I failed him dollars supporteci SDA institutions over the years. They came to the church for answers. They believed in it! because I did not have my act together. Our society failed him The last child born into ttris family was Steven. He was a because of the widespread social stigma that makes child born to a woman named Iv{artha. Martha iovecl her son dearly. As Steven grew up, she had a1l the dreams ancl goals homosexuality a taboo. Our church failed hirn because jt that most parents have ibr their children. could only deal with its traditional subjects like wearing Something disruptive happened in the seventh grade that jeweiry, makeup, and eating meat. If people were getting beat hurt him deeply. Steven rvas made fun of by his junior high up in church for wearing a wedding band, how could they deal school teacher in front of a class for \"treing a sissy. \" From that point on he lost interest in schooi because he became the brunt ofjokes. His grades dropped. Martha embarked on a mission to help her son survive in a world that she felt might be hostile 12 Connection

with Steven's homosexuality? was so bad. Orr the subject of homosexuaiity, it was part of the Steven fell betrveen the cracks. Like many other gay problem and not the solution. Seveirth-day Adventist youth over the years, Steven found the On another occasion, a vrell known Adventist evangelist church to be a largely homophobic institution. came to a local mall and held an evangelistic series in its community room. The meetings rvere well attended. During As a young boy realizing that I was possibly gay, I made a vow not to tel1 another soul in the world what I was feeling; this mcnth-long crusade, home visits by the pastor and that I would fight it with ail of my strength. It was a vow I evangelist were going on to try to see just rvho rrright be would keep until the age of 29. My opinions of homosexuality rveie formed for the most part by the church and my farnily interested in baptisrn at the end of tLie meetings. As part of thc '\"vho r,vere products of it. Like Steven, I rvas a third generation home visitation program, SDA church members' children Adventist, and our family life was built around the church and its functions. I ioved the church and became quite active in it were part of the potential list of new baptismal candidates. It over the years. I knew that if my true identity ever became knowrr, my future leadership roles would abruptly end. I was was natural that the evangelist and pastor would visit the horne given the mantel of leadership largely because I did not have of Martha to discuss with Steven his interest in joining the my sexuaiity act together. church. What tollowed horrifieci Martha. A person, like Steven, who comes out in an early teen 1i1'e- stage would ncver be rrurtured into church leadership in a In Martha's home, while meeting with Steven, the evangeiist srnallchurch. Gay youth are acceptablelosses in mostAdventist and pastor discussed how Steven would have to give up his churches. We don't know how to handle the situation because as a church we don't deal honcstly with the subject. We fail to ff p+*itil'l.],b-,,b., #*td# provide the proper Christian environment tor an open and When +hey ci)n e ,^{-t*-t.rn. i uncharged discussion of homosexuality. The church .7 r^rill ho.. b-.n pr,eoorud f -nr J rim tilack : br-ireaucrats, who know better, fail to lead... so into the crack (a {hrea*..*o'1;l.;n.p,ari{y) fail many of our youth. And the crack is so wide that it makes .. me sad. Wh-^ +1.-f -;;; of+-*,n- : I see now that there were many moments of truth with J *ill h*v- be-n.prugoi.d .,', ' people in the church, much iike the one I had with Steven. (*.+l\";; +#+h#..l? rU..., . '. Each time in a progressively worsening manner, the church faiied him. ',,',i i Martha attempted to get her son enrolled into Blue Mountain \\ kJ;;,ikE ':, ii*A.,*pa;t.i*\"\"t..:1,,;r,,,:,':,,:t,,,,i,,.:,,,,,,,.:,...,, Academy. After an interview with Steven, the principal told J u,ill L.av.- \\e-en p,.iporuAt ' Martha, \"He looks gay. Steven wouldn't last ten minutes in the for J orn o ChniJio^ Blo-L M-; dorm. The kids would make iun of him.\" (a threa* *o,,*h-.ra:,i'tit''a:.cr*\".Jo) .. This blatant discrimination would be illegal in many Wh-^ +hiy 1oia a{1e:r v!\\e: . l .. ': jurisdictions, but in God's name it was allowed. It denied hint {Jor\"vJill hor- b..^ p.r*par..l Ma^ equal access to an education that others could easiiy get. He am a ()ay C)h\"i*iam Bla-k simply looked gay. Steven's brothers and sisters were all *heir \"du-*ncy\") ' (a *hreal *o : aiumni of this institution. Steven could not share in his family's school tradition. I'he SDA church clearly sent a ,,:: Who^ lltiy.o6s af*e-r vne .. . message to Sieven: You are not equal and we don't have a J roill;.indeccj, hou-,6e=n pr^epur^ed {or place for you in our world. You are an acceptable loss. not only am J.,:c,, tll.r-[< Mo^. . , Martha wouicl lament years later, \"Whar kinti of Christian institution were they nrnning when a young man of twelve or no! only'rx;m il a {lr;siicrn BlacL Ma^ : thirteen couldn't last ten rninutes in a dorrn?\" A good question, nol on,ly -\"n 3, o Goy Chn;,=+io,. BIa-k Man Martha! bur+ J o* .l.o'A;*; Vniudl ' ua;.,11+.Y,rll#i6uHltr. Steven is not alooe. In a 1987 survey conducted by the Philadelphia Lesbian ancl Gay Task Force, it was reported by ,,Wesh.--, +h.y cir\\e i.....,' ... ..il.i. :..i l. gay correspondents that 507o of guys and l27o of girls .. of+-r rne experienced verbal harassment and threats of violence and J WJLL BA PR€pAR€T)I ' physicai assault from teachers and classmates injunior high schools in the state of Pennsylvania. That number increased to 597o in men and2l7o in women when in senior high school. Our church performed no better than the society it claimed Connection 13

homosexuality. It was regarded as a sin. He would not be talk with him about what was going on in his private counseling allowed to join the church unless it was renounced. They sessions. But after several sessions had been attended, Martha applied the simple \"Ask, Believe, and Receive\" approach to could wait no longer. She asked him how things were going. his deliverance from homosexuality. They made Steven feel dirty about himself, and they created an emotional crises by Steven replied with words which described what so many bringing it to his head. They never followed up with retum other counselees that had attended Quest had concluded for visits or calls to see how he was doing or if there had been a themselves. \"Mom,\" he said, \"Colin is just another trick.\" \"miracle\" heterosexual transformation bestowed on him by God. They showed a surprising lack of knowledge on the It would take years for Martha to know what that statement meant. Only after the revelations of the impropriety of that subject in spite of the reams of information that has been ministry became known, did she realize what had happened to her child. published by responsible authors about homosexuality. No one looked at the consequences of telling a youth that your Once again, the church became the abuser rather than the very being is unacceptable to God and to the church. These men certainly did not embrace this teen by taking him under transmitting agent of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This emerging their wings as would a mentor or confidant. Emotional slash young man was transmitted a different message at an early and burn was what they did! age: You can't count on the church to do the right thing. You are certainly not welcome in it, and in some cases you may This event shook Steven. That evening Steven went to the even get abused by some of its people, even its leaders. medicine cabinet and ingested his mother's prescription of Steven had no real positive role models. Looking to find depression pills. Caught between the church of his family and love, acceptance, and himself he looked for a wodd in which he would notbe considered afreak. Stevenran offto the streets his own sexual orientation, he wanted to escape from the pain the church was inflicting on him. He could have died. Martha of New York City. There he was introduced to the darker areas was in deep emotional pain over how to deal with a gay- of the gay world. His education was on hold. He dropped out identified son and her church's response to him. She was of high school because he didn't fit in with his peers as aresult concerned about his ability to survive in it at all. The church of his early realized sexual orientation. was showing recklessness with her son's life. Some areas of the country are better than others to grow up If there ever was a reason for the church to deal with a homosexual. Many large cities have established gay problem honestly, it is here. Pastors, evangelists, counselors, communities that offer help and support for its population. teachers, and school administrators who have an ounce of Steven was too young to tap into the many existing programs training in the scientific method and have read anything and institutions that deal with basic gay adult coping. written on the subject in the last twenty years should realize Gay youth issues are still tough subjects for people to deal thatthe church has thepotential to really hurt innocentpeople. with when you are talking about one's formative years. The Leaders who fail to lead are responsible forthe victims of their uneducated Christian right still accuses us of recruiting. The ignorance. We are to busy playing Old Testament, and fail to lack ofprograms, people, and a caring church are what pushed realize thatrevelation is progressive. God has enlightened this age with great knowledge, and the church has used this Steven out the door into the streets. There he found the darker knowledge in the development of great worldwide hospital element of gay society which ultimately destroyed him. systems. How can this church that is in the forefront of the medical fieldbe so outin leftfield when it comes to counseling Many Protestant churches are being challenged to deal and understanding the gay and lesbian community? It makes with the subject of homosexuality. The American Baptist us look silly, and wrecks the church's credibility, when it Church, some United Methodist congregations, and many chooses not to grow with the knowledge and the changes in psychology that have occurred over the last twenty years. On Lutheran congregations are developing a \"Reconciled in matters that deal with homosexuality, the church chooses to stick its head in the ground! Unfortunately, as a result good Christ\" program to inform and create churches that welcome people get hurt. the gay and lesbian person into their family of believers. The SDA church is sadly running far behind these innovators who Not being delivered from homosexuality by the church's prayers, Martha tried one last time to turn to the church for recognize the injustice done to people with homosexual help with Steven. Her concem for his eternal destiny was real and heartfelt. orientations. While otherchurches' leaders realize thatittakes time to change people's opinions on this electrically-charged Unfortunately, she turned to Reading, Pennsylvania and subject, they put it on their yearly conference agendas to the ministry of the Quest Learning Center. This ministry discuss amongst themselves so that it becomes at least a attempted to turn gays \"staight\" and was run by Colin Cook, subject that people are not afraid to address. Ministries can the Robert Packwood of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. then develop that provide positive help for gays of all ages. Trying to respect Steven's privacy, Martha chose not to The challenge of Kinship is to reach the Stevens of our church. For every gay professional working on a career and establishing him or herself in their line of work, there is a dozen more people like Steven that may not have the advantages of understanding families, education, support groups, or wealth. The doors of opportunities may be slammed shut, and dysfunctionality may be the norm in their lives simply because they have failed to move beyond mere acceptance issues. Instead, they are spinning wheels just trying to live life. 14 Connection

Steven eventually settled down with his life partner, a man several years ago in Maryland. Martha seemed to draw many years his senior. They loved each other and built a nest together called home. The Seventh-day Adventist Church was strength from experiencing this newly realized community. not a part of his life, and neither was Kinship. She became the leavening factor in trying to change opinions in the world in which she walked. Martha's calm, quiet, but My memories of Steven at this stage of his life are dim. I forceful words always seemed to ring out in Sabbath School was not his close friend, and I only got bits of information lessons when someone would make a disparaging remark toward gays or people with AIDS. She waged a one person about him through his family and other interested church war. A person could see her hurt and feel her pain. members. Steven's final days were tough ones. He made one final trip to the local Seventh-day Adventist church. It was a cathartic About six years later I learned from his mother that Steven visit for the church. He was gaunt, gray and all of eighty had AIDS. pounds. At the age of 27, Steven's demise was evident. He could only stay in the church service for twenty minutes, but The story of Steven now becomes the story of his mother. Of limited means, Martha loved her son with all her heart. At Steven wantedhis motherto know thathe still lovedthe Lord. church prayer meetings there was never a missed opportunity He recognized that stepping into the church of his childhood to offerpetitions to GodAlmighty forherson's safety and well was a big, symbolic event for his mother that would comfort being. Over the years I saw her anguish when Steven would her in his impending absence from her life. This moment would be etched in Martha's mind for life. It was his last gift disappear. to her. Finally when he developed AIDS, she felt extreme sorrow The SDA pastor who spoke at Steven's memorial service had years ago encouraged me to fight the church with all my in dealing with this disease in her own offspring. This mother's might over the unethical ministry of Colin Cook at the Quest love was so special and so deep. Steven was fortunate to have Learning Center. This man understood the crap that society, church and family throws at gay people. This man played an her in his life. If he learned anything good about God, it had to be from his mother. instrumental part in my personal coming out story. During the Having known many years later my missed opportunity to service he spoke beautifully about the gospel and God's love, without a word of condemnation. This sermon came at the end be a role model for Steven, I saw that Martha needed some of Steven's life and not at the beginning. support. I decided to \"come out\" to her. We became friends. I remember reading the inscription over the door of the I had attended Kinship meetings and had seen key, informed Pioneer Memorial Church at Andrew's University that reads, church leaders speak on the subject of homosexuality at \"A House of Prayer for Al1 People. \" Are those words true? Are Kampmeeting and regional Kinship meetings. I wanted Martha they words that just comfort us into thinking we ire an open- minded people? Are they truer for some and not so true for to know that there was a gay accepting element in the Adventist church; a side of the church that to this day is others? Maybe we should add, \"He can't go to school here; he shielded from being known in it's full extent to the general churchpopulation. She seemedrelieved that such organizations and people existed in contrast to the local church level where many people were as bigoted andprejudiced against gays. She even attended a Kinship Kampmeeting with my mother LrrrrpRrcHARD Ro c k p e rfo rmer/fo rme r S ev e nth- day Adv e nti s t, I 9 I 5 Homosexuals are the nicest people you can ever meet. They're kind, they're artistic, they are lonely people. You MemrHoMPSoN can't hate'em to Jesus, you got to love Americanwriter, 1987 'em to Jesus. There is no relationship more curious than the one that exists between gay people and organized religion, for they have long been among its greatest sufferers and saints. Connection 15

looks gay. He wouldn't last ten minutes in the dorm.\" Those which their pain can be vented. Neither do they see the church as a resource from whom they can gather good and useful words would be appropriate if they were etched in stone above information about homosexuality. the chapel door a thousand miles away in Hamburg, Someone will answer one day for the injustice and hate that Pennsylvania at Blue Mountain Academy. is expressed towards individuals with a homosexual orientation. We fool ourselves into thinking we are achurch committed Whether on earth or in heaven, I hope there are spectator seats to ending various forms of discrimination. Our teachers and principals perpetuate hate to the next generation by failing to because I want to hear the answers given. I want to see the address it now. They fail to try and change the attitudes that inflicters be made accountable for the needless pain they demean 10 percent of our population. Many pastors and caused to good people, young and old, whose only difference administrators on our side fear goingpublic with their support was the person they loved. During the sports segment of the eleven o'clock news every because they fear the loss of their careers. Little Stevens night we see what the sportscaster singles out as \"game across America are denied the proper counseling and critical shapers,\" or key plays that affected the outcome of the game. guidance that heterosexually-identifi ed youth take for granted. Lesbian and gay youth often feel compelled to deceive Normal game shapers include RBI singles, great catches other church members, students, friends and family in order against the outfield wall, and touchdown passes into the end to hide their sexual identity. This isolation and deception may often engender self-hatred, which is manifested in various zone. forms of self-destructive behavior. Two federal studies, for Each of us have game shapers in our lives. We can look at example, have concluded that gay teenagers are three times certain people or events which have influenced us and made more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual us what we are today. These people could be parents, a pastor, or a teacher who made us aim a litfle higher than we would counterparts. The SDA church, while clinging to an unrealistic have otherwise. In regards to the church, there were real system of Biblical interpretation whose net effect beats up on opportunities for it to be a positive game shaper for Steven. the homosexual, adds to the emotional pain that a gay- I look back to that night one fall some 15 years ago and realizelfailed Steven because of my homophobic fears. At a identified young person, and his or her family, would feel. We critical age he was not allowed to attend an Adventist academy simply do not provide a caring Christian environment in our because \"He looks gay.\" A unscrupulous director failed him, churches for someone to talk openly and freely without fear and many others like him, through the church-supported of condemnation or ostracization. ministry to change sexual orientation. Steven heard discussions An additional sidelight to this story occurred when the Steven's grandmother was attending her local SDA church. in our Sabbath School classes which stated homosexuality as One woman in that congregation, whose son had also died sinful and AIDS as acurse to the gay world. The church even from AIDS. tried to reach out to Steven's grandmother by prayed simplistically over him for deliverance from his coming up to her and saying that her son had died of the same homosexuality. The members made no effort to befriend thing Steven had. Steven's grandmother asked what she was talking about. \"Stevendiedof cancer, notAIDS,\" grandmother Steven. Steven came to us looking for role models. He came said. Though this woman's motive was to identify with the to us for love and acceptance. He was looking to find God in grandmother and console her, the result was that both our lives. But he found none of it! He may have even been grandparents, lifelong Adventists, never set foot in church again; they could not face their own congregation with the abused by us. Now any opportunity to be a game shaper in his knowledge that their grandson was gay and had died from life is gone. AIDS. We called ourselves Christians, but we behaved rather In the church of my youth, which was also the church of rudely. Steven was an acceptable loss. We just didn't know Steven's youth, we had a membership of fifty. I am aware of how to deal with him. Maybe it didn't occur to us that he was at least five people in that congregation who are gay or also ourresponsibility. We forgot one compelling claimof the gospel: Christ died for heterosexual Johnny, and He also died lesbian. None attend church today. The church atmosphere turned hostile toward individuals who were thought to be gay. for homosexual Steven. God's real house is truly \"A House of B latant anti-gay statements would be made in S abbath School Prayer for All People.\" classes. This past year alay pastor sent by the conference Here was a child of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, and stood behind the pulpit and preached a sernon that stated clearly and succinctly gay people should not be spoken to. a member of the Kingdom of God. Steven, can you ever Maybe we should have supplied the honorable lay pastor a forgive us? white hood and mask to wear while he spoke the blessed words Author's note: Though Steven and Martha are pseudonyms, of God to His people. their story is real. Martha, who is presently 62 years old, wants this story to be told in hopes that future Stevens and Marthas It is time for the church to come out of the closet. The won't have to experience what she and her sonwent through at church's lack of effort to start discussions is leaving a lot of the hands of the c I e r gy an d memb e r s of the S D A c hurc h. Martha still loves to talk about her son, and you can hear her love ring victims in its wake.Itis hurtingmorepeople thanjustthe SDA out when she discus ses her boy, herfavorite subj ect. Steven died gay community. Additional victims are the families and recently with his family and lift partner by his side. friends who don't see the church as a viable option through CraigA. Scott 16 Connection

When we were six, David Cote used to run to me. for Halfway between our yards, we would imitate the slow motion rinsing dishes endings of afterschool specials, embrace on the sidewalk. disgust. I would see him coming and start the slow-mo run: exaggerating the sink of knees, arms arcing a man like a woman, like drugged things, making the distance dramatic. soap, you called children said. I would hold him, though it was never like TV: his bones were too hard and he smelled but we squeezed as hard as we could to until the neighbor kids called, You, mother, But I lie it was washed rto breathing the pt-$ pansy like I loved him: li with me again. Twenty n your kitchen, mother, you stare . In the silence, at me as I tell I am thinking of and 1973, but you are wondering how you oy ls grown up a gay, no is a man who loves men Color leaves your face for a with your eyes dry, your skin All the soap in the world can the nature lure: your son is a pansy. And it's not like TV-no tears, no reproach; but when you find words they are measured: \"This is not to go past the kitchen.\" Eyes finally wet, you leave the room, let the quiet house embrace you, amazed at the things children say, wishing there was someone you dared to call now. DavidValdes is a student andteacher at Emerson College. I want to follow you but my knees are sinking, He is working on his Master of Fine Arts degree. I want to reach out, but my arms feel drugged, I cannot hold you across this distance- If I ran to you, would you meet me halfway? Connection 17

ierry and Lcer A match made in hearlen ee and I drove to Long Beach the first week in through this much delay, bureaucracy, and frustration. We were fortunate to have the love and support of Lee's February, 1986 for anonymous HfV testing. We were to return on Valentine's Day the following week for mother and brothers. As his clinic visits became more frequent, the results. Lee had tested negative several months earlier. we all needed to pool our efforts for transportation. It was a dnzzly winter evening the next week as we drove On several occasions it seemed that Lee bore the brunt of from the clinic to a small piano bar and restaurant. That incompetence and inconsideration. However, we knew that in evening the death knell had sounded for Lee. We comforted the county health care system the staff was overworked' It each other and held one another. There we completed our St. Valentine's celebration. We sensed the ominous future but became more comfortable for him to have me shave him and didn't have any significant insight as to what lay ahead for us. give him baths. I would run home everyday after work, The next day Lee was faced with telling his mother and change, get supplies, and drive the 30 miles to the hospital to brothers. Lee was not one to live under a cloud of doom. We both had be with Lee until his bedtime. Then I would go home and fall jobs. We had read that it was sometimes ten years or more asleep. I never missed a day all the times Lee was in the before symptoms of illness appeared. We were both entitled hospital. I took him newspapers, puzzles, cassette tapes, and to VA loan benefits, so we decided to buy a house. By late Octoberwe weremovedin. Despitelackof finances, webegan food that I thought he would like. making plans for fixing up the place. Planning would become The wards in the old county hospital were rather dismal, our word and thought that would see us through the future. Through planning, we were able to find the ability to keep life and his roommates were often bizarre. Lee kept a diary every exciting and enjoyable. day of his life in the hospital. Eventually one wing was Two years after his initial diagnosis, Lee caught a cold that remodeled specifically as an AIDS unit, which was much left him with a residual cough. Our friend, Dr' John, examined him and arranged for testing. But the results were inconclusive more pleasant. so Dr. John suggested that a bronchoscopy would be needed. From our reading of AIDS literature, we were aware of the As Lee had no medical insurance and was unable to afford the expensive test, we decided to go to USC-LA County Hospital' possibility of taking preventive treatment for a the corlmon Perhaps that was best since some of the most advanced and killer of AlDS-infected people, Pneurnocystis' Lee was given experimental treatments were being conducted there. The bronchoscopy was done by the USC doctors but, again, the Bactrim, but was unable to tolerate the side-affects' We asked the doctor many times about Pentamadine, but he always results were inconclusive. postponed it \"until the next visit.'' The cause of the cough was never discovered. It persisted Lee wanted to travel to Illinois to visit his father, whom he intermittently over the next few years. By early 1988 we were had not seen for 20 years. Despite catching a coldjust before caught up in the regimen of life with HIV. leaving, the doctor thought it would be okay for him to travel As Lee gradually came down with different sicknesses, we provided he didn't get over tired. started the paperwork to get him on State Medi-Cal, Federal Lee became increasingly more sick while on his trip and Social Security and SSI. It's difficult to work full time, had to cut it short by several days. When I picked him up at maintain a home, and care for someone who is ill. The added the airport, I couldn't believe how much he had deteriorated' burden of figuring out and filling out forms for various I feared that he wouldn't last the week. We made another early government agencies was frustrating. I had assumed that with so many sick people in this country, and with so many morning trek to the hospital and got a diagnosis of competent social workers, that the paper work would be routine. But once the many forms were filled out, there were Pneumocystis. Thereafter, we had no problem getting many delays. Forms were lost and had to be re-submitted. Items were always \"pending\" when we inquired. It took three Pentamadine every month for prevention. years to receive Medi-Cal! Lee's Social Security was finally On July 30, 1989, Lee's mother was married. It was an approved, but the SSI was not by the time he died. It's sad that exciting time, and Lee gave his mother away, walking up the \"the system\" puts someone who is sick and incapacitated aisle using his cane. He was always good-natured about accepting his limitations and showed no shame in using the cane. As he became weaker, Lee suffered through thrush, shingles, neuropathy, several types ofpneumonia, and then vision loss from CMV retinitis. He was taking several different medicines, and a catheter was placed on his chest for intravenous gancyclovir medication to treat the CMV. Arrangements were made for a nurse to visit periodically. She taught us how to administer the medication through the fV. Most of the time 18 Connection

thereafter, Lee took care of his daily medicine. During the first week of his hospitalization, Lee was completely awake. His father had flown in from Illinois, and Lee was temporarily placed on AZT, but after developing we usedthe time forcompanionship, as well as thefinalization the side affect of low platelets, he had to cease that medication. of decisions concerning the duration of medical treatment and Side effects developed as aresult ofothermedications, also. life support. Lee and I had previously discussed this, so we Despite Lee's problems, we madeplans for a grand vacation were prepared. to Europe. We made bookings, packed clothes and medicines- including the IV ones-and took off. Lee gradually lapsed into a coma, and we watched for three days as his breathing became more labored. Finally, he died. Initially Lee was very weak and slept a lot. His strength gradually improved, and with it his appetite. We met some I took time off of work, and sat in Lee's room struggling friends in Italy, and Lee was able to enjoy the sights of Rome, with the separation. His family finally recognized my role as Pompeii, and Florence. By the end of two weeks, Lee was not his life-partner and allowed me to make the mortuary and using his cane anymore and he was able to carry his own cemetery plans. I felt I couldn't show all of my emotion to his luggage. We could spend most of the day touring and hiking. family, so I would take off in my car, crying in the hills. It was Seeing how Lee improved, I wanted desperately to keep on an agonizing experience. I wanted to do something, and knew traveling just to keep him well. I'11 always wonder if the final nothing could be done. outcome mighthave been different if we could have done just Looking back, I feel fortunate in many respects. Lee had that. a positive attitude and was a joy to be with. His family was understanding and supportive. Even though Lee and I hadn't Lee involved himself in the lives of other people; people taken the time to draw legal papers, Lee's family worked with at the hospital, people at AIDS Project Los Angeles, and his both of us to accomplish what we wanted. Having seen so family. Three months prior to his death, and sick himself at the many others sick and without decent care, I am glad that we time, Lee found an acquaintance, John, in dire straits. John was living in abominable conditions. Lee arrangedfor hospice had a nice home and good medical care. Without this firsthand experience with AIDS, I probably care through the hospital, moved John from Pomona to West Hollywood, contacted John's parents in Texas and urged them could not have been as empathic and non-judgemental. Yet I to come visit John. He met them upon their arrival at the feel that both the gay coflrmunity and the government don't airport and saw them to a motel. It was to be their last visit with deal with the reality of the situation and the abiliry to treat and their son. John died a few weeks later. prevent this illness. Lee took a course in PAL (Personal Active Listening) I was more fortunate than many. Lee and I developed a training to provide support to other AIDS patients. He gave a strong bond between us. We daily confessed our love for each couple of talks to church groups on the subject of living with AIDS. other. His mom and brothers, Mike and Bobby, were very supportive, notonly oflee butof me. ItwasLee's individuality By November, Lee was back in the hospital. Night sweats that made it all worthwhile. I count it such a blessing to have known him; to have had the privilege of sharing his love. Was became worse, and we used beach towels to supplement the he a saint? I believe that when he reached the end of his days the title was bestowed. He responded to his high calling. bed linen. He would be up and down all night as sweats altemated with chills. Linen had to be washed daily. So what was it like living with someone who had AIDS? Planning gave way to uncertainty. There was nopredicting It depends on the focus. I suppose if my focus had been on how Lee would feel from day to day. He had to give up his music, dancing, and other activities he loved participating in. sleep-intemrpted nights,lots oflaundry, all types of symptoms I had to go to work and leave Lee alone frequently. Each day from someone with all kinds of illnesses, endless round-trips I made sure to return home at lunch time to help him eat, and to give him company. Yet I knew he felt lonely. He was too to the hospital, and financial struggles it may have been a weak to go out on his own. Foothill AIDS Project held a dreary existence. But those things were unimportant. Our banquet, and Lee good-naturally went along in his wheelchair. focus was on life and living, the people around us, moments Lee was in and out of the hospital several times after that. to share, and spiritual gowth. Diarrhea became more and more of a problem. At first I The tears don't come as often now, but they do fall when I think about Lee's youth and his unique and wonderful way thought that he ought to be able to get to the bathroom on time, of looking at life. He displayed determination, courage, and but then I realized he had difficulty with control, in addition bravery in the face of a ferocious opponent. He was robbed of to the increasing weakness. Once again, Lee was gracious many of the opportunities of life. His family andl were robbed about accepting bedpans and diapers. from sharing in Lee's life. Just prior to what became his last hospitalization, we But there has to be cause for rejoicing. Just as surely as struggled to keep Lee at home. However his cough and lack Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He will in a not so distant day call all His loved ones back to life. My anger would rage of strengthhad weakened him severely. Itwas determinedthat he hadastrainof TB. Wedecidedthatit was necessaryforhim and I would find no comfort if it were not so. I saw the love to be back in the hospital. That same day, the mail brought of Jesus inLee, andl hope thatsame spirit will be found inme. Lee's Medi-Cal stickers. This providential timing enabled us to admit him into the community hospital near our home. His Our gayness does not separate us from the love of God. family and I would be able to spend more time with him. Jerry Fox resides in California. Connection l9

Librarians support gays stereotype kind of fun gays have within arm of Kinship and represents us to \"their\" own culture. As far as that, I do \"outsiders.\" Secondly, it is the means Dear Editor, that \"connects\" all of the Kinship A note appeared in the October 1993 not think there is anything morally members. issue of FreethoughtToday that I would wrong. But there are consequences to adherence to any sort ofcultural types, My main concern is if someone were like to share with the readers of since not all, even within the same to try to learn about gays and would read Connection. It reads, \"The American culture, feei the same way about it. Connection to find out all about us, Using drag in this way does alienate Library Association is evaluating its what would be their opinion? If policy granting special privileges to selectively, but it also can act as a Boy Scouts of America through the symbolic union with the greater someone's parents just found out about ALA children's services division, based their son or daughter being gay and on its discrimination against gays and \"community\" of Gaydom. were given a subscription to C onne ctio n, nonbelievers. A preliminary resolution 2. The purpose of Our Lady has to be I think they would be horrified! Men has been passed to 'amend and support evaluated and made \"straight\" for the a request to the Association for Library record. Connection needs to have its dressed as women, guys being referred Service to Children that it sever its reasons for printing the column, and if to as \"she\", etc. Not a pretty image. All it is only a temporary thing, so be it; if this campy stuff is great for local or relationship with theBoy Scouts because permanent, go ahead. Nothing has to regional newsletters (where you know of that organization's policy of last forever. who is reading the newsletter-know your audience), but Connectionshould discrimination against gays which 3. The use of drag can be offensive to fosters and promotes homophobia... put forth a less stereotypical image. I [which is] in violation of ALA policy women and may alienate those within the ranks. Drag has always been sort of have been told by a friend that he sees 9.2.\"', Connection ideally as the vehicle that controversial within Kinship, so I brings us (spiritually and in fellowship) Heidi Johnson all that which the church does not. He Maryland thought it was rather bold for the looks to Connectionto be fed spiritually and be ministered to from a homosexual V Connectionto go ahead with it. However perspective. drag is apart of gay culture, whether we Editor's note: During the past several like it or not. Just iike us, I think it's here I say cut out all the campy Parts months some controversy has been to stay. smouldering within Kinship over the (including calling males \"she\") and run monthly satirical advice column \"Our 4. The use of drag can be offensive to more stories on Kinship members (what Lady of Oshawa\". BeLow are several they do, how long they have been with men. Our conceptions of gay, fun, and comments sent to rhe Connection Kinship, and how to deal with life). concerning the permanency of the irony guide our selection of how to Another good feature would be to have feature. \"parade\" in life. some of the clergy (or their spouses) List of pros and cons 5. I think Our Lady brings up the iighter that have attended Kampmeeting write Dear Editor, and darker sides of our orientation. I a monthly column bringing us some This is in response to the Lady (...ain't think we have gotten entirely too serious encouragement and spiritual food no lady, honey...). No profound (indeed!), and using such parody helps (Pastor Ron Astorley might be a good thoughts, however... some of us to \"see\" things from a start). Our Lady of Oshawa could turn l. First, I think it perpetuates the perspective that we might otherwise into a Q & A column of slightlY less Qu\"otw shun. campy nature. Q & A is a good idea, just not with adrag queen giving the advice. It is better to be hated for what 6. I think the column should stay. one is than to be loved for Texas what one isn't. Must go. My two cents worth... In Kinship, Editor's note: Having a Pastor Pen a Andrd Gide Rhode Island regular article which contains spiritual fo od fo r our memb e rs is a brilliant idea ! French novelist, I 869- I 95 I V Such an feature will debut soon. 20 Connection Our Lady is shocking V Dear Editor, Be more accepting I have some real problems with Our Dear Editor, Lady of Oshawa. In response to your querY Posted on Connection is, first of all, the official the Internet regarding \"Our Lady\", my personal feelings are as follows:

I don't particularly care for the old along with whatever else we can add to Under your editorship, Connection canbe bold and daring andfinallycome dear myself, she sounds a bit too \"valley make the Connection of even greater gidish\" for my liking.I wouldn't go out out of the closet to promote a soon- to buy a book of her etiquette tips or interest to our membership at large. coming Saviour to gays and lesbians B.K. outside the Seventh-day Adventist other witticisms, for instance. But, I denomination. Connection must be feel she probably serves a useful Glendale single in purpose as it spreads the Good function for others within our V News of Christ's soon return to our gay and lesbian neighbors who have never organization. Don't like; don't read heard it, or have heard only sick, distorted versions which condemn gays for their In the masthead, the Connection Editor, I do not find drag to be attractive, but sexuality. This magazine must be claims that SDA Kinship (and available at every newsstand on this I don't mind if someone else enjoys it. I presumably th e C onne ction) \"is asupport continent as ,fte definitive Gay Christian group which ministers to the spiritual, lookatitlikel look at alotof stuff in the magazine. library: if you (or I) don't like it, don't emotional, social andphysical well being read it (skip over it, etc.). I don't expect Those who are uncomfortable with everything to appeal to me. I skip the humor such as Our Lady's would not of Seventh-day Adventist lesbians, gay lesbian stuff, too, but don't demand that wish to embarrass the church-a men, bisexuals, and their families and it be removed for that reason. I think it's nonsensical position given that the friends. \" Somehow I don't see anywhere good to have a sense of humor. If you Seventh-day Adventist denomination is poised to remove each and every in that statement the inclusion of the have a magazine in which no one finds SDA Church, or for that matter, any anything objectionable, have you done faggot and dyke who sits in their other individuals we might possibly yourjob (part of which is to provoke a little)? congregations. offend. Just some thoughts. Such easily offended people are Until we corporately decide, and so Junior Missionary Volunteers living in state, that we are producing a news Bear an Uncle Arthur world. They are filled magazine for heterosexuals (I'm sure V with Fry Sticks, and would happily we are as eminently qualified to write Diversity is instrumental to hang Jesus on the cross to preserve the one for them as they are to write gays'salvation status quo, should He dare to disturb magazines for us!) or for general Dear Editor: their lives in 1994. distribution to \"The Church\", let's look out for our own well being and provide Keep Our Lady of Oshawa in Loyalties placed in institutions rather for the general reading pleasure of our diverse membership. Connection. than the living Christ are misplaced What concerns me about the current We have a rich heritage of camp ones at best; evil, when used to suppress bru-ha-hais that we spend so much time humor. No other cultural group has the Gospel. worrying what others think about us given so much to language as gay males Thinking people do not revere the in the 20th century (MacNeil, 1989). To Seventh-day Adventist denomination that we are more than willing to continue omit Our Lady's forum is to repress our culture and deny our heritage. any more than Christ upheld the to be door-mats for whoever has a muddy ridiculous absurdities of Judaism that \"Our Lady of Oshawa\" takes dead boot to wipe. And while we do this, we NIEDIiI): ignore the most important issue that is aim, albeit tongue-in-cheek, at a l.ashion ('hrivinns essential for the survival of our denomination in denial. This sharply- to cortrplclc a sltr\\.cv organization-the need to be accepting honed art form is fine if the goal of :tborrl lhcir spirilultl.jorrr rrcr . and caring ofand for ourselves, and our Connection is to promote Christ to the (iir c a loicc to r.our cxpcricrrcc! immediate minority, as we are, not as gay and lesbian community in a variety of appealing ways, through awiderange Wonrcrr llro halc lcli lhc chrrrclr the \"Caring Church\" fantasizes us of options. Humor, such as OurLady's, is an excellent vehicle. arc also cncouragcd lo pflrticipatc. becoming. If, however, the purpose of I;or a srrrrcl or ntotc irr[irrrrurlion. c()nl:lcl: We collectively moan and groan Connection is to cozy up to a Socill psrclt l,ro.jecl p.O. Bo.r 1222 about the mistreatment we receive at denomination, it should cease to exist. the hands of the hetero population, but Tlte Adventist Reyiew already does a Pl:ristorr'. NI I ()1865- I 222 we in turn seem to have no tolerance for fine job. /le,s7xur.st,s tt i I I r uru tt i t a n (i d t, t r t i, r l. ,l runtitrtl nrtnatt,tl ()t,tl,rttsdtitnt ttill hr anyone that isn't an exact copy of ourselves with precisely the same ltrttridul. psychological, theological and possibly even \"sizeological\" makeup. We must spend more time accepting all who are members of our cheery organization, regardless of their particularpersuasions, lifestyles, and reading habits. This would mean that the Lady stays, Connection 2l

were fobbed off as spirituality during in the 1950s! no longer has any basis within its proper His sojourn on earth. \"...Who knoweth whether Andrew historical context nor within the Our Lady rightfully pokes fun at Strong hath come to Kinship for such a \"Babylon the Fallen.\" Freedom of time as this?\" scientific knowledge we have gained up thought and speech is the cornerstone of Christ's kingdom to a fallen world. It is Sincerely, to the present time. Obviously, those J. M. who cannot balance both secular this capacity which first makes us knowledge with \"divine\" principles human, and secondly makes us Canada redeemable to God. Free expression create the present difficulties. Editor's note: Who knoweth? gives rise to a grcat rainbow coalition One of the things Ron challenged for Jesus, embracing all. Christ draws V the colorful, the individual, and the the audience with was the ideathatifthe radical to His cause. Ron Lawson's forum a Bible was wrong in its position Use your new broom to sweep clean. success For every complacent member you lose, concerning women, and it is wrong with you will find ahundred new souls raised Dear Editor, up in theirplaces, each charged with the The forum at Boston was sort of the issue of slavery, then what are we to zeal of newfound Pentecost, if your uneventful as far as I can tell, but I am think of the issue of homosexuality? an outsider and do not know what the goal is pure and you are ready to met the repercussions will be. In the bulletin for The issues of women and slavery are challenge. the Boston Temple, there was an announcement for a Friday evening really strong arguments to therelevance I challenge you to meet this \"Our meeting on January 28 where Hyveth of cultural context of theBible, whether Lady of Oshawa\" controversy head-on [the minister] will be discussing the with courage, conviction and frankness. it be in the Old Testament or the New subject of homosexuality. From Kinship is at a critical juncture. The appearances, it would seem to be a Testament. A few questions were asked Lord is coming soon; there is an urgent reaction to Ron Lawson's talk. The only in an attempt to look at homosexuality Gospel to deliver. problem is that Ron's talk was really a as a sin, but Ron steered it in the right Let C onne ction reflect articles which historical sociological account of the show how to work with PWAs, present church and the homosexuality issue. direction avoiding possible outlines for healthy lifestyles, unfold One of the only things that can be the gay-positive Christ in His startling confrontation. He said that it seemed challenged, from what I can surmise, is simplicity, and prepare all for His the very premise from which he works. pointless and useless to see it from that glorious Second Advent. Get this Hetakes the standthat homosexuality is okay and this is how the church, which point of view (my paraphrase). Hyveth message out to the entire world, not a doesn't think the same, has reacted to select few who imagine themselves to was there, at least at the beginning. I did be anointed because oftheir hide-bound the issue. So I think the Friday night heritage. And for God's sake, do it in meeting will be the \"fundamentalist\" not see her at the end of the meeting, nor contemporary language, style, and humor, notthat of adenomination mired proofreading on the subject. Nothing did I see her slip out. She will just have Connection welcomes mail from its new. I stand ofcourse to be corrected. I to challenge the premise of it all, but the readers. Unless permission is plan to be in B altimore that weekend, so facts of Ron's paper were too plain to be specifically given to do otherwise, full I will not be able to report on it. challenged. Ron pointed out that very little has names of letter-writers will not be As has been discussed, these issues printed. Letters will be identified by been said in the Scriptures on the subject, have been culturally interpreted, as has initials and state. and also in the writings of the church priortothe 1960s. He follows thegrowth the position of women always remained Opinions expressed in the letter of the literature within the church, and points out the major stages in which the secondary. Slavery was defended by column do notnecessarily refl ect S.D.A. church has had to take steps to make its Kinship positions. position known. He presented the Christians early on. The Bible really Kinship Kampmeetings as a watershed Letters may be edited for length or for serious Adventist scholars in dealing only gives principles, and these are clarity. with the issue. He pointed out that most scholars who take the time to look and eternal. However, the manner in which Say what's on your mind! Write study realize that the traditional position Connection, P.O. Box 68, Lebanon, they have been fresented in Scriptures Illinois 62254 USA, or email your has been with a cultural context. Some message to Con ne c tion throtghlntemet via 7 27 22.t441 @compuserve.com. say the Bible must be read in a mind- frame which allows the Spirit to reveal its true meaning. As dangerous as this seems to me, I think people really follow this; and therefore, we have the many interpretations that are out there. I think people do notrealize how many of these \"spirirguided\" interpretations rely on our own cultural understandings and personal experience. Let me be heretical by saying that what is interpreted as Spirit many times is not. It always seems to me that those who say that they're Spirit-lead seem to lean towards neglecting context. Cheers. o.v. 22 Connection

&/:A@{A/turu Advice, cofiunents, and answers to the questions in all of us. Huppy Valentine's Day, possums! As I write this I am Dear Packing, What is this?! Show and tell? Possum, you are not in the surrounded by flowers and Godiva chocolates. Valentine's first grade anymore. This is Kampmeeting, not show and tell. Day is may favorite day of the year. All those gifts from If you wantto show offthe entire contents ofyourFrank Lloyd Wright home, I suggest you invite some of the Kinship folk adorning friends. But alas, the American Express bill tells a over for a visit. Or maybe start a Better Homos qnd Gardens different story. So what if I sent them to myself? At least I got column in the Connection. something this year. And while the rest of you are running around trying to find that gift that says \"I love you,\" I'll just sit Kampmeeting is a time of fellowship with other members of our Kinship family; a time to get to know each other. If you here and pig out on chocolates. Oh look, another delivery boy want to impress people, do it by sharing who you really are. with flowers. I wonder who they are from? People will be more impressed with your openness and Dear Lady, honesty than by the entirety of your designer collection. For many people, Kampmeeting is a unique week in their I simply don't know what to do. My partner just discovered that his best friend and I \"got to know each lives. Onewhere theycanshedthepersonathey havedeveloped other\" in a back room. I am deyastated since he has just to get by in this harsh world. A week where we all can be a group ofreal people, not a collection ofpretentious personr$. asked me to move out.I feel so guilty. Dearest Lady, I really need your help. My advice to you is bring just what you need for the week, and leave you persona at home. Hopeless in Hammond Dear Lady, Dear Hopeless, I've been reading your column since it began. I must Forgive yourself. I buy forgiveness in four quartjars at the gocery store. No one is worth destroying yourself with guilt. confess I've developed a love/hate relationship with what My heart is Teflon-coated; men rinse right off with one easy swish. you write in the \"Our Lady of Oshawa\" persona. My Our lady never likes to hear about relationships plummeting question is this: Do people actually write questions to you, or do you sit around aII day there in Oshawa and make all into the dumpster of life, but this may be a good thing. It sounds like you need help. If you really loved your partner, of this up? If the latter is true, then get a life! what were you doing in the back room? If being alone with Wanting answers in Walla Walla another person is a temptation, you must stay away from such situations. We certainly hope you practiced safe \"getting to Dear Wanting, know each other.\" The fact that you wrote this letter to be answered proves In this day and age, gay marriage is the \"in\" thing. Possum, that people do write to Our Lady of Oshawa. (Heck, we are call me old-fashioned, but I believe that marriage means you world famous in Oshawa!) don't go stepping out to scratch an itch. I suggest you consult some of the better guides to gay marriage that are available. As for your love/hate relationship with my writings, if at Now if marriage is not for you, practice the single life with times you don't consider it in \"good taste, \" just remember that caution. Be safe, play safe, and watch out for your emotional it is written in the spirit of fun, and is not meant to offend. health. If guilt is your trip, I suggest you join a religion that is more into guilt than ours. As for getting a life, why? I've got one. Monday afternoon, it's tea with the Advice Columnist Guild; Tuesday we watch Dear Lady, for the hunky guys that pick up the recycling; Wednesday we hang out at the Mack dealership; Thursday we do laundry; With Kampmeeting just five months away, I have Friday we watch the factory workers line up at the beer store; started working on my packing list of things to take to Saturday we watch the fashion show of people going to Kamp. My designer curtains for the window, Calvin Klein church; and Sunday we do our house work. sheets for the bed, my award-winning roses for the doorstep, For even more excitement, here in Oshawa, you can watch my entire summer designer wardrobe from Glitzby Fritz, cars come off of the production line at General Motors; watch etc. What else would you suggest I bring? the sidewalks being rolled up at 6:00 pm; or watch the city Packing in Portland council debates on the local cable channel. Our Indy of Oshawa welcomes your letters. Write to Our I ady at: Our Lady of O shawq c/o Connection, P.O. Box 68, I*banon, IL 622 54. Connection 23

Jackie's guide to gay-themed movies available through Blockbuster Video This last Christmas I had a chance to catch up on the newest HW+ gay men. Claire of the Moon's release has been eagerly awaited by videos. In the spirit of accessibility, I started at the local Blockbuster andfoundenough titles in the new sectionto keep many lesbians. Though many women I know loved it, many anyone busy for a while. lesbianpapers trashedit because the therapistwas in love with If your Blockbuster is anything like mine, there's quite an her client. The trashing seems undeserved since the scenario amazing array of gay or gay-related videos. Some of these is just a small section of the movie. It involves some chatting include (*lesbian, +gay): Claire of the Moon*, Swoon+,The about backgrounds, and nothing ever happens. (The last I Living End+, Fried Green Tomatoes*, Three of Hearts+, knew, therapists were allowed to have feelings as long as they could remain professional.) Becoming Colette*, Basic Instinct*, Without You I am Nothing*,The Crying Game+,The Lost l,anguage of Cranes+, On the other hand, the raves I heard abofi Claire of the My Own Private ldaho+, Paris is Burning+, Poison+, and Moon seem a bit undeserved, too. If Blockbuster had mostly Poison lvyx. gay movies, few customers Even if you never see movies and live deep in the would bother with this movie. closet, you've got to have heard about Basic But as long as it's so rare to Instinct andheard all the gayprotests see honest, non-voyeuristic about Hollywood portraying portrayals of lesbians, this gay folks as killer queers. kind of movie can be All of the \"+\" films considered fantastic. above, except for one, My only problem with the involve either a gay murderer movie is that the lesbians or some other gay outside of Sac*.ie €safirrwep{pm were the only characters who seemed like real people; the the law. This includes the other women were stereotypi- films with gay creators. cal. Additionally, the two (How can we blame others when our own do the same?) main characters were not very The first of these is likeable. Swoon,It's based on a true Claire of the Moonis very story-the same young kill- iftsimilar to De s e H earts,so ers that inspired Hitchcock's you liked one, check out the R op e . lirtchcock i gnored the other.- boys' homosexuality, which The same woman who was common knowledge lovedClaire of the Moontold during the trials in the I 920s. me that Three of Hearr,s was The Hitchcock version simply focused on the incredibly cold- total garbage. That's true ifyou'relooking forlesbians relating blooded calculation of the murder; the intellectual challenge to each other through a kiss or conversation. But if you want of committing the perfect crime. to seejust one fairly believable lesbian totally obsessed over Swoon is a very pretty movie, even though it's filmed in a break-up, Thr e e of H e arrs hits it ri ght on the head ! The worst black and white. It looks a lot like a very long Calvin Klein part is that you have to see a long heterosexual love story commercial. But it is very intelligent, giving us a close-up before seeing a few minutes of what is really a miserable part view of people rotten to the moral core. While it is very of life. interesting, it is not a movie that will inspire gay pride. My absolute favorite movie on the shelves is Fried Green Watching The Living End, one would think that everybody Tomatoes .ltshouldn't be in the new section anymore, but find it any which way you can. It's a great story, and any group of solves everyproblemwith murder. Many of these violent acts seem cartoonish, or like a spoof of a movie I haven't seen. The people will rarely agree on whether the characters are really violence doesn't mesh with the more serious side of the movie, lesbians or not. Still, it's a fantastic story about two women the exploits of two HIV+ men on a final spree. making a life together and inspiring each other with love. There was nothing I liked about this movie, especially its portrayal of a lesbian couple. But I'll be the frst to admit that maybe I just didn't get this Thelma & l,ouis-stylemovie about Jackie Summerton writes from San Diego, California.