SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - February 1998

C$ February 1998 Vol.22, No. 1 ffiffiYGffiN I \\ I 1l I r ', BonnuMEETrNc Rrponrs

SDA KINSHIP Who ure ore... { INTERNATIONAL, INC. Seventh-dayAdventist Kinship International, Inc. is a support group u-hich ministers to the I KINSI{IP BOARD spiritual, emotional, social, and phpical well being of Seventh{ay Adventist lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and their families and friends. j'| President: Darin 0lson Vice President: Yolanda Elliott SDA Kinship facilitates and promotes the understanding and af6rmation of llii Secretary: Charles Shobe homosexual and bisexual Adventists among themselves and u'ithin the Seventh-day Treasurer: Mike McLaughlin ql Connection Editor:Walt Elias Adventist community through education, advocacy, and reconciiiarion. Public Relations: Jim Chilson Founded in 1976, the nonprofit organization was incorporated in 19El and has a board of I. Church Liaison: Donald Freeman Womyn's Coordinator: Natalie Clothier 15 officers and l0 regional coordinators. The current list of members and nrends includes Kamp'98 Coordinator: Lee Stover well over a thousand people in 16 countries. MEMBERS-AT.LARGE I SDA Kinship believes the Bible does not condemn, or eren mendon. homosexu- ality as a sexual orientation. Ellen G. White does not parallel anv of rhe Bible texts, Director of Regional Coordinators: Donald Freeman which are often used to condemn homosexuals. Most of the anzuish imposed upon Womyn's Newsletter: Kathleen Gerary God's children who grow up gay or lesbian has its roots in a misunderstanding of Members-at-Large: Marge Doyle, Bob Bouchard what the Bible says. Campus Coordinator: Greg Cox Member Wellness: Larry Whitford Krnship operates solely on contributions from its members and 6riends. SDA Kinship supports the advancement of human rights for all pe ople. 5UPPORT STAFF I Support Klruhip office Support: Hal Jobe lnformational Services: JohnWieland Kinship depends on you. Kinship is supported solely b1'conrriburjons\" Help us World Wide Web: Scott Wiemers reach out to more gay Adventists by making a tax-deductible donation ro SDA I Kinship International. Please send your check or mone\\r order to tle address below. SDA Kinship, P.O. Box 7320,Lagona Niguel, CA92677, (;l+) l+6-1199. CONNECTION STAFF I Region 1 Region 3 Regim 7 Contributors: Ritch Barron, Dolf Boek, Greg Cox, Natalie 0bed Vasquez (401) 521-931 9 Sandy Mann (404) 633-8447 (714i 248-i299 Clothier, Donald Freeman, Carol Grady, Bartia Wachtel, John Wieland, Larry Whitford Region 2 Region 4 Regin 8 Walt Elias, Editor. Yolanda Elliott (410) 531-5382 Bruce Harlow (714) 248-1299 Hany Wlnot\\ (51 0) 523-3461 INFORMATION I Region 5 and KinNet Regim 9 Floyd Poenitz (21 4) 41 5-1 358 Brad Fo+er (818) 352{618 The Connection is published '1 0 times a year by Seventh-day Adventist Kinship lnternational, lnc. Principal office: P0. Box Region 6 Regim l0 (l0nship Canada) 7320, Laguna Niguel, CA 92677; (7 14) 248-1 299. U.S. Ben K. (303) 321-5331 Subscriptrons are $2 5 for ten issues, and $ 1 5 for additional Gerald Alex (613) 234-0555 subscriptions. Foreign subscriptions are $40. Visit our 5ubmissions of letters, articles, picturet art, and graphics are Web Site: welcome. lnclude your name as you want it published, addres5 http://www.sdakinship.org/ and telephone number. l{ an llem is to be acknowledged or returned, please rnclude a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Pseudonyms: GeraldAlex, Walt Elias Donald Freeman, (ate McLaughlin, lee Stover, some people in the CoNNECTIoN repo(t, and possibly others. Some Connection contributors have chosen to remain anonymous. Pseudonyms Irom this issue appear at the bottom of this page. The Connection reserves the right to edit manuscripts for length, syntax, grammat and clarity. Addres all submissions to the Connection, P0. Box 7320, Laguna Niguel, lA92611 . lnquiries and article submissions may also be e mailed to [email protected] The mention or appearance o1 any names, organizationt or photographs in this publication is not meant to imply a fact or Statement about their sexual orientation or activity. Subscr ption requests or address changes must be sent to Subscriptions, P0. Box 7320, Laguna Niguel, CA 92611 , l7 14\\ 248- 1 299. The Kinship mailing list is confidential and used only by Kinship otficers. The mailing list is not sold, rented, or exchanged ior any purpose. O1998 Connection.All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. 0PlNl0NS EXPRESSED HEREIN are N0T NETESSARILY THoSE 0F sDA KINSHIP N/ember of the Gay and Lesbian Press Association. Printed in the U.S. on 100% recyclable paper. Yes, George, they always knew you were gay, even belore you did.

E e.e,Sem,ff te BY LEE STOVER AS TOtD TO KATHLEEN GERATY 1. Minnesota has a fascinating history and ... 2. Minnesota has the largest mall in America. 3. The unique thing also about the location is the pleasant, secluded, relaxing, contempo- rary environment of the retreat center. 4. Get LOTS of hugs! 5. Make new friends. 6. See old friends. 7. Safe space. 8. Support new people in Kinship. 9. Experience the music. 10 Be around current clergy of the Church. I l. You'll be sorry and regret your decision if you decide not to go. 12. And as one of lastyear's attendees expressed ... \"An overwhelming sense of acceptance, and a sense that I have started to develop a whole new circle of friends. Do this and you will live.\" o .Connection February 1998

Board,rae e t ing BY DONALD FREEMAN, ADAPTED BY OBED VAZQUEZ Ihis issue features a 2T1h\" board of Seventh-Day executive committee meet- Wellness. Durins lunch a task number of articles ings and the financial report. resulting from I Adu.ntist Kinship Inter- force met to discuss special Because of the generosity Boardmeeting. You will national, Inc, met in Palm of Kinship members, the campus outreach projects and find them here and on organization is in a strong then after lunch, *-orking page 12. Springs, California on January position at this point (con- 24, 1998. On Friday night, the trasted to where it was a few groups tackled a variety of years ago living on a shoe- items includins: Regional Board members arrived and Development. \\\\ ebsite, and had a chance to visit. string). AIso, a number of Kinship Promotional Items. All Board members prepare members are regrrlarly After the meetings of the a report on their area of contributing to the endow- ment which has grown very working sroups. the Board met responsibility and this is nicely over the past several to revie'ir- the rrork of each provided on Friday night, so years and which will now group and to rerieu-the reports start providing income for that everyone has an opportu- special projects. of the various members of the nity to review the report before morning (Oh, sure!, squeezing The Board divided into Board. The \\\\tbsite is becom- this in between midnight and working groups to address the following issue: Women, ing an importanr avenue by breakfast is always a feat! ) Campus Outreach, Public which people are finding SDA Darin Olson, President, Relations, and Member Kinship, and this has been opened the day long meeting. taken into account in the work After a brief meditation on of public reladons and for Sabbath morning, the meeting Campus Outreach. V began with the reports of the il'iember trite 11ne ss BY LARRY WHITFORD Did you know that T\\ la vou know that Kinship sponsors a A focus group was formed at the recent I MemberWellness does IJ lf.-Uer Wellness function? Did you board meeting in Januan to determine the role far more than minister of Member Wellness for Kinship. The questions I know there is a board member in Kinship to those with AIDS? dedicated to Member Wellness? Do you even of who, what, and where u-ere debated and a a know what Member Wellness is all about? Well, consensus reached that }{ember \\Vellness is let's try to answer a few questions and elevate the important to Kinship and the scope of Member level of awareness for Kinship Member Wellness should not be restricted to HfV Wellness. Historically, the Member Wellness function There were a variety of topics discussed and they was created to support Kinship members living are listed below: with HfV This life challenge was seen as HIV / AIDS, Other Serious Health Issues for Both Women and Men, Mental Health (self- important to Kinship, and especially so for Kinship members facing the challenge within esteem, self-acceptance), Social Issues (the the Seventh-day Adventist community as well. coming out process, relationships, family), You can probably identifi, the issues that may surface such as confi dentialiry self-acceptance, Financial Issues. self-esteem, disclosure, loss of job, and so forth. So you see, Member Wellness is just that: Member Wellness served a vital function in tlle The total Wellness of all Members. past to this group of the Kinship family. Look for more Connection articles in the future addressing Member Wellness topics. Some ofthese topics are already addressed, .Connection February 1998

especially in our stories of being gay and Adventist. Mem- your Member Wellness board memb er Larry Whitford at ber Wellness will try to offer resource information and other pointers to help Kinship members be both preventa- (310) 274-3505, or e-mail at [email protected]. Your tive and pro-active in their own Member Wellness issues or life challenges. In the meantime, please feel free to contact contacts will be kept confidential and you are assured of a safe place. Until the next Connection article, please be Member Well to yourself (translate to take good care of yourself). V Conne ction Report BY WALT ELIAS Volume 21, (1997) consisted of 10 issues, which completes that volume. With the number 5 issue, a \"new look\" was begun with the CONNECTION, based upon the professional design of Kevin Richards. (Thanks, Kevin) Statistics for volume 2 1: 148 pages 15 pages per issue average 12,16, or 20 pages per issue Contributors include: (some appear in more than one issue) A Student Freeman, Donald Lawson, Ron Rosevear, Wendell J. Alex, Gerald Geraty, Kathleen Lind, Leif Shelton, J. \\4cki Bouchard, Bob Gough,John B. Lucas, DevonJ. Shields, Chaz Barron, Ritch Gurian, Katie Lukasavatch, Glen Brenneise, Harvey Hallock, Larry Mclaughlin, Kate Stoicheff Chilson,Jim Harlow, Bruce Morris, David Clarke, Brian Stover, Lee Thylor, Doug Harvard, Juliana O'Grady, James Tidwell, Michael Clothier, Natalie Jobe, Hal Olson, Darin Vasquez, Obed Depew, Robby Joe Poenitz, Floyd Wieland, John Durham, Nathaniel Thd Radclyffe, Jan Wiemers, Scott Elias, Walt Johnson, Ben Ramirez, Steve Wilmoth, Harry Kemena, Richards, Kevin Elliott, Yolanda KinNet Y:ffi:,t**- ' Topics included: . Interview with Ben Pickell PUC article Kampmeeting pictures Kinship's mission Book Reviews Board meeting report Gay pride Kinship religion issue California AIDS Ride report Coming out articles Crisis in Canada Personal \"Stories\" Regional reports Response to Reztiru letters Ron Lawson retires Ex-gay ministries Memories of campmeeting Kate Mclaughlin's Reaiew Memories of Kampmeeting article CUC articles WWC article .Connection February 1998

0n llumiln Sexualitv BY DOLF BOEK, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA efbre I make comment on the human Consequently the cvcle of human seruality ceased t to perpetuate God's initial harmonv represented in expression of seruality let me say that there I will come a time where such a human the creative action of male-female. but rather context as marriage will cease to be: a \"And Jesus answering said unto them, The looked forward to the furure promise of redemp- Dolf is a winner of children of this world marry, and are given in the Community marriage: But they which shall be accounted tive action by God. Rainbow worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in \"Notwithstanding she shall be saved in Leadership by Gay marriage: Neither can they die any more: for they childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity MaleAward are equal unto the angels; and are the children of and holiness with sobrien:\" ItTimothy 2:15] \"And God, being the children of the resurrection.\" Adam knew Eve his u'ifel lnd she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I har-e gorten a rnan from the [Luke 2 0 : 3 4- 3 6] [Nlatthew 22 :29 -3 0) fMark 12 :2 4 - 2s) LORD.\" [Genesis -1:i] lleanins u.ith God's help I In the beginning of the human experience, have created a man. God created both male and female as a unified Paul regards Adan.r as \"the figure of him that humaniry embodying every human characteristic. was to come\" [Romans -i:1-1] beingJesus Christ, By creating woman out of man, God demonstrated to all humaniry even within their perfection, they and uses the same creation analogy of unity of were to view the other as an intrinsic part of their male-f-emale u.ithin the experience of Grace to describe those (irrespective of their attributions of humaniry) u'ho are connected through Christ to a spiritual bodv rvhich is the church: \"For we are members of his [Christ's] body, of There u)ill coruLe a time u;here such a human corltext cLS marriage u)ill cease to be own body for which they were to have a responsi- his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a ,l bility and a regard: man leave his father and mother, and shall be : \"And Adam said, This is now bone of my joined unto his wife, and thev trl,'o shall be one bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called I Woman, because she was taken out of Man. flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concern- Therefore shall a man leave his father and his ing Christ and the church.\" [Ephesians 5:30-32] I mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they \"So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and shall be one flesh.\" [Genesis 2:23-24) every one members one of another.\" [Romans Thereby, the rwo parties within the sexual union within the framework of fidelity were to be 12:5) regarded not just as your other, but as your own body. The resultant perpetuation of offspring In using this same male-female metaphor Paul within this framework produced a sibling who was suggests that within the spiritual body which is the likewise a participant in the scheme of ai unified humanity. Church, we are likewise to show a regard for and have a responsibility toward one another as if they Disobedience by Adam and Eve resulted in were a part of our own physical being-\"love your the elevation of self above the obligations towards neighbor as yourself' one another, in what God had asked of them. \"For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery .Connection February 1998 Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; AND IF THERE BE ANY OTHER COM- MANDMENT it is briefly comprehended in this

saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy within the body which is the Church, \"But he said unto them, All men we have a responsibility toward one cannot receive this saying, save they to neighbor as thyself.\" [Romans 13:9] another. The process of taking legal whom it is given. For there are some No matter what our life context, we cannot lay claim to fulfilling our action against a member before a court eunuchs, which were so born from regard to God, if we show disregard to their mother's womb: and there are a humanity made in the image of God: which shows no regard for the things some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs ofmen: and there be eunuchs, \"Therewith bless we God, even of God as akin to being joined to a harlot-It affects the entire body of the Father; and therewith curse we Christ. which have made themselves eunuchs ( men, which are made after the simili- \"I speak to your shame. Is it so, for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that there is not a wise man among that is able to receive it, let him receive ( you? No, not one that shall be able to it.\" Matthew l9:ll-l2l judge between his brethren? But Our hope in the promise of the Thou shah loue thy brother goeth to law with brother, and \"resurrection ofthe dead\" is realized that before the unbelievers. Now todayin the resurrection ofChrist as neighbor as thyself therefore there is utterly a fault among our first fruits: \"Therefore we are you, because ye go to law one with buried with him by baptism into death: another. Why do ye not rather take that like as Christ was raised up from wrong? Why do ye not rather suffer the dead by the glory ofthe Father, yourselves to be defrauded? NAY YE even so we also should walk in newness tude of God. Out of the same mouth DO WRONG, AND DEFRAUD, of life\" [Romans 6:4] \"For since by proceedeth blessing and cursing. My man came death, BYMAN CAME AND THAI YOUR BRETHREN.\" brethren, these things ought not so to IlCorinthians 6:5-8] ALSO THE RESURRECTION OF be. Doth a fountain send forth at the \"Know ye not that your bodies are THE DEAD. For as in Adam all die, same place sweet water and bitter? Can the members of Christ? Shall I then even so in Christ shall all be made the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive take the members of Christ, and make alive. But every man in his own order: berries? Either a vine, figs? So can no them the members of an harlot? God CHRIST THE FIRST FRTIITS; fountain both yield salt water and forbid. What? Know ye not that he afterward they that are Christ's at his fresh. Who is a wise man and endued which is joined to an harlot is one coming.\" [1 Corinthians I 5 :21-23] with knowledge among you? Let him body? For two, saith he, shall be one Ifthe hope ofeternal life is already show out of a good conversation his flesh. But he that is joined unto the ours through being spiritually con- Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. nected with Christ as our first fmit, works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in Every sin that a man doeth is without your hearts, glory not, and lie not the body; but he that committeth against the truth. This wisdom fornication sinneth against his own descendeth not from above, but is body.\" [1 Corinthians 6: 1 5-1 8] Christ is therefore There is great virtue in the earthly, sensual, devilish.\" fiames 3:9- 1sl spiritual lessons taught by our partici- Conversely, Paul uses sexual pation in the perpetuation ofthe by faith the end to immorality to convey a lack of regard model heterosexual relationship ethic for our relationship and responsibilities as the process by which procreation our obligation for towards others within the experience occurs. It remains a universal from of grace (the spiritual body which is which we all spring. If it were nor so, nl,arrlaSe the church): Paul and others within scripture would \"Looking diligently lest any man not continue to use it as a model/ 't fail of the grace of God; lest any root illustration of human behavior for our then by faith the time the time for II conduct toward all others within the regarding marriage as a prerequisite to of bitterness springing up trouble you, community of faith called the church. AND THEREBYMANY BE DE- FILED; Lest there be any fornicatoq However, in drawing consideration salvation has already come. Christ is or profane person, as Esau, who for from such an example we need to therefore by faith the end to our one morsel of meat sold his birthright. remember that within the spiritual obligation for marriage: \"But as For ye know how that afterward, when Kingdom of Grace we are no longer touching the resurrection ofthe dead, he would have inherited the blessing, saved in childbearing but in Christ. have ye not read that which was spoken he was rejected: for he found no place Meaning that even those incapable of unto you by God, saying, I am the God its achievement (as represented by the ofrepentance, though he sought it class ofpeople known as Eunuchs) find of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and carefully with tears.\" [Hebrews l2 l 5 - their fulfillment in the promised t7) Paul appears to be saying that actions of God through Jesus Christ. .Connection February 1998

the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the The natural order of things finds their fulfillment in living.\" [Matthew 22:31-32) [Mark 12:26-27) Christ. To say that we do not have this liberty is to say that Christ is not risen as our first fruits. And it behooves the That does not mean of course that marriage is no longer church to grant us this liberty, for ifthere is one lesson to be learned from our Grace experience: No matter from where an ideal for humanity and that we should all cease to marry. we have come, within the experience of Grace rvhich God has so richly bestowed upon us, the male and female, servant But rather, just as Christ is the focal point ofJew and Gentile, he is likewise the focal point of our masculiniry and feminin- ... the male andfemale, ser- uant and the child, the kinship ity. In Christ all these things find their fulfillment: clnd the stranger iru our midst, \"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter are equal times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in and the child, the kinship and the stranger in our midst, are hypocrisy; havir-rpJ their conscience seared with a hot iron; equal [Exodus 20:8-11, Galations 3:28] . Forbidding to marry, and comrnanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiv- ing of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.\" flTimothy 4:1-5] Therefore since we homosex-ual Christians know the truth which is found in Grace, that Christ is our end (fulfill- ment) of marriage we can turn to our same-sex partner in life, in the knowledge that \"every creature of God is good\" and that we have liberty within Grace to be married to them with thanksgiving and without refusal by others. -ffiiffiitorb Corn er BY WALT ELIAS f have had the most amazing experi was told that the reason they were could. Obviouslr- I missed the mark. However, I have never considered Ience. I discovered people knew I given to fire me was that I was gayl Part of me says \"Gee, I wish myself effeminate. was gay, and openly talked about it they had told me, then it would I was further shocked when I nearly 20 years ago. Since I only have made things SO much easier\", received the follou'ing comments \"came out\" to myself a little over four just an hour ago over e-mail from a while another part of me is angry friend who had these comments: years ago, this was a revelation to me. that such an accusation would Remember r:hen we first talked on I had absolutely no idea that this was occur. Since I hadn't done anything Ithe intentet srr'eral years ago, and going on. to deserve this I consider this a mean and nasty thing to say and do. said n,eryone had known tbat you uere At the time, I worked for the SDA college from which I graduated. I When I asked the administator gay. And you asked, how tlid I knaw what their evidence was, I was told knew that there had been an attempt to you ue?'e gay when you didn't know you that \"some people are more effemi- fire me for political reasons as I have uere gay? l{ow I remember! nate than others.\" had several administrators verify this to Seteral years before ue met in I have heen aware since at least me over the years. Fortunately, they all high school that I wasn't the See \"Editor\" on p. I 1 valued rny work and refused to pursue butchest thing around, and I worked hard to be a butch as I this directive. I had occasion to speak with one of these administrators recently, and I .Connectron February 1998

lethr written to Bohert [olkenherg day Adaentist charch near you this week, yoa will join others wbo, BY BARTJA WACHTE L like you, wisb to celebrate loae. Our amazing, awesome heauenly Backgroad: Father; wbose loae for you is rnatched only by His infinite wisdom and poweri is eagerly waitingfor all of us to spend a special tinr.e In the Adaentist Reaiew, February 1998, tbere appeared an article titled \"An Inaitation to Attend a Seuenth-day Aduentist each ueek in fellowship with Hirr.. ... We ztant to surround you Cbarch by Roberr S. Folkenberg, president of the worldwide with tbat diaine loae that imparts peace and. clntentnzent as we Seaenth-day Adaentist cburch.\" Some of tbe uxt frorn. the article is quoted here: aoice oar loae for God. We want you to feel that you are in a safe and caring haaen. Tbe hosts at the cburch door will welclnxe yta \"Welconte to tbe Seaenth-day Adaentist cburch in your community. warmly. And so will Jesus.\" Should ya decide to accept this inaitation to uisit tbe Seuenth- Robert Folkenberg. iitiii:i..]j'.]:.,],,jl::.!liliiinitii:irriii.iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii lilplrliirTl ;tt :trffi$;iliirl$ffi r$illlllll KINSHIP OPERATING ACCOUNT STATEMENT Beginning Ending Fund Name 01101197 lncome Expense Transfers 1U31t97 General Fund. .....'12,694.25 0.38 (17,254.88) '10,037.47 (0.17) Program Funds .. 1,899.63 Connection (3,814.60) Kampmeeting96.... (1,364.40) 4,207.00 0.00 0.00 2,292.03 Kampmeeting 97 ........... 0.00 200.00 (0.41) 1,164.40 0.00 Kampmeeting98...........0.00 19,610.00 (3,000.00) 0.00 K'mtg Scholorships .. ....... 259.70 900.00 (25s.00) 0.10 (2,1 00.00) 3,150.00 0.00 639.70 (1s4.0s) (2,s0s.00) (123.00) Project Funds 189.37 (45.33) Advertising: General 0.00 Advertising:Women's ....... 26.74 150.00 0.00 0.00 185.32 ClergyPacket96.... (421.85) 145.00 (332.86) 0.00 48.74 Kid'sStuff ...240.00 0.00 0.00 (468.1 8) MemberWellness ...3,928.67 40.00 0.00 0.00 280.00 Womyn's Newsletter 1,093.45 1,570.00 0.00 0.00 s,s98.67 1,489.00 0.00 (247.s0) 2,002.09 0.00 Regional Funds 0.00 0.00 '145.72 01-North Atlantic . ... 145.72 0.00 0.00 't22.29 02-MidAtlantic .....72.29 0.00 0.00 0.00 197.50 O3-SouthAtlantic .... 197.50 50.00 (s64.03) 0.00 50.00 04-Great Lakes. . .. .. 50.00 0.00 (1,1s1.s9) 0.00 230.97 05-GreatPlains.. ....230.97 0.00 0.00 0.00 163.87 06-Rocky Mountain . . 163.87 0.00 ($46,s74.34) 0.00 143.58 07-Pacific Northwest (287.51) 0.00 0.00 338.1 2 08-CentralPacific. ...376.55 431.19 (800.00) 1,3'.t8.27 O9-SouthwestUS .... ....... 874.86 525.50 0.00 45.00 lO-Canada ..45.00 2,395.00 ($ 1 2,780.s7) 521 ,271 .16 Totals . . .. .. $20,414.81 0.00 $60,2'11.26 KINSHIP ENDOWMENT ACCOUNT STATEMENT Beginning Transfers / Restricted lnvestmen 01101197 Deposits Ending Adjustments Disbursed 12t31197 Asset Allocation BankAmericaSavings....... 478.95 0.00 0.00 766.91 FidelityBrokerage ...0.39 287.96 4,918.42 0.00 37,573.08 Time Deposits 2,941.50 7,000.00 20,000.00 0.00 23,440.93 U.S.TreasuryBills... .9,477.30 499.43 (9,477.30 0.00 0.00 U.5. Treasury Notes . 4,991.50 0.00 (4,991.s0) 0.00 0.00 Total . $43,543.91 0.00 $10,449.62 $0.00 $61.780.92 i7,787.39 .Connection February i998

Aladilin BY RITCH BARRON Ritch and his oming out is usually a long and painful ['m a street rat, I'11 improvise\". partner recently experience. While most of us know from Finally, the battle won, Aladdin is faced with had to withdraw their membership early memory, that we are different, it the ultimate choice. He has promised the Genie from their local SA that he will use his last wish to set him free from takes a horrendous effort to overcome the inter- the lamp or he can use the wish and go back to Church due to pretending to be a prince, to marry, to live happily homophobia. nalized prejudice and shame. Once we have come ever after, to have the acceptance and admiration to terms with the reality of who we are, the battle of the whole kingdom. against the shame begins. The path from knowl- edge to joy is long and too many gay people fail to The Genie tells him that an oppornrnity for love only comes once in a life time and he should make the journey. Somehow, I made that journey go for it. But, with the courage that comes from in a matter of weeks. I have often wondered why. pride in who you are, Aladdin says: \"I have to stop pretending to be some*ring I'm not\". He doesnt Was it because I was 43 years old and ready to say \"someONE that I'm not\". He faces the reality burst? I had been through a failed 18 year mar- ofbeing - a \"street rat\" which he has now learned riage. I was dad to 5 kids. I was son to a legendary to respect and appreciate. He decides that he must traveling evangelist. All of this should have worked find love on his orvn terrns, as a street rat. to keep me ashamed and in the closet. What The thing that made the difference was his happened? But this feature, in spite The movie, Aladdin, was instrumental in my of the fury from the right coming out process. Why did this movie have such wing legalists, is about an effect on me? After all, it's just a animated feature. But this feature, in spite of the fury from ualues. the right wing legalists, is about values. Good, viewpoint. At the beginning of the movie, he was concentrating on all the things that were wrong core, Christian values like keeping promises, about his life. This is a trap we all fall into' In our charity for the less fortunate, love (both romantic innermost soul, we know that we are gay, but being gay blocks us from so much of life. We cant marry, and platonic) and above all TRUTH. we face discrimination, termination from work, removal from church membership and so much As the movie begins, we see Aladdin coping more. We dare not hold hands with our special someone in public, we dare not sit with them in with life on the street. He has dreams of one day church, people might find out. being free, but the reality is he's a street rat. To the There is AIDS, there is hate, there is anger, boy, this is more than just a name, it is an identity. both at us and in us. This is nothing to hang pride on. There is nothing to affirm. We're just trapped. It is what keeps him from his dreams, it is what During the batde, he calls on all his instincts to win and it changes his viewpoint. Now he sees the makes him different - and he is ashamed. When he courage and cleverness it took to survive in his meets the Genie, he finally has the opportunity to world. He sees the creativeness he developed as a transcend his shame by pretending to be a prince. response to adversity. He learns that in his own In spite of the fact that the princessJasmine is in love with the street rat, Aladdin stoutly denies that identity. The Genie tries to convince him to tell the truth, but his shame is too strong. Meanwhile, the evil Vizier has stolen the lamp and outs Aladdin to Jasmine and the Sultan and banishes the street rat to the frozen north pole. Cold and alone, Aladdin ponders the mess he has made of his life. He determines that no matter what, he must do what he can to make things right. It is during the ensuing battle with the evil Y|zier, that Aladdin realizes that being a street rat has value and pride begins to form. The Genie asks him if he has a plan and Aladdin replies, \"Hey, .Connection February 1998

being are the resources to find the freedom and happiness create an equitable division of labor? How about making he seeks. decisions? Promise Keepers and other legalists insist that the We too find ourselves in a battle. If we are determined MAN must be the BOSS, but what happens when you have to win, we too must call on all of our instincts. We will see two MEN? Who's the boss then? the kind ofcourage it takes to be different, the cleverness it We have struggled to create relationships that are based on takes to be honest about ourselves to our friends and family equality. What we have learned could go a long way toward without being antagonistic. We will learn that the adversity helping society to develop truly free and equal partnerships we have faced as gay people has given us the gift ofcreativ- between the sexes. At the beginning of the movie, the narrator ity and spontaneity that is enrried by people everywhere. gives a warning about the lamp: \"Do not be fooled by it's And we will find pride in all of this. commonplace appearance\" he says. Being gay is a wonderful gift. It is not just about sex. It We should not be fools about who we are. Never, allow yourself to be diminished in value because you are gay. It is a is a unique way of seeing life. This is a vision the world gift from God. The only response should be joyous gratitude. needs to see. fu one small example, look what the straight V community can learn from our relationships. How do you Ihte ilIcl,aughlin \"Conto$ Oilt\" BY CAROL GRADY Q oon after My Son, Beloaed Stanger gay men and women that I know of. It's a start, at least. And I have been The letters I receive from parents in hrppy to find so many church mem- r.) was published, Kinship invited me every state assure me that this is a bers and pastors who really want to needed and appreciated ministry. On understand. Finally, I would like to to share our family's experience at such a controversial topic, there is thank Kinship for encouraging me to Kampmeeting in the summer of 1995. naturally a wide range of opinions and start this ministry and for its financial While there, my learning process viewpoints. assistance in getting started. You'll be hrppy to know that while I started continued as I listened to Kinship I have often felt that I am walking publishing the newsletter under my members tell their stories. A number of pseudonyrn, Kate Mclaughlin, in the a tightrope, tryrng to balance my love, members also talked to me about the respect and understanding for those November-December 1997 issue I need for a ministry for parents. At first, who are gay with my desire to maintain came out of the closet! V a non- offensive dialog and sensitiza- because of my busy schedule, I tried to tion process with church leaders. class, I rementber some giil -- I didn't ignore the suggestion, but I had no Parents, too, represent a wide spec- peace. Finally, I decided this was a door trum of understanding. I've tried to eaen know carue up to me and wid God was opening for me. keep the newsletter a place where \"Dnn't talk to him he [i.e. Walt Elias] is everyone can feel comfortable express- gay and tbry can't fire hirn because there Starting a newsletter seemed to be is no eaid.ence.\" I asked who? \"I can't tell ing their feelings. And, finally, I have you now he's looking.\" something I could do. I got the first issue ready and the Connection sent it to shared my own journey and conclu- Around the same tinte, I was their subscribers. I also sent announce- sions which, I hope, express love and walking to the donn and you were nearby ments to all the union magazines and acceptance, if not always agreement! eventually all but one printed it. -- one of the guys said you were gay -- nlt Women of Spirit also published an The newsletter and my book have t0 wlrry yla were really nice and always announcement. Later I sent copies of the first three issues to all the confer- opened the door for a number of helpful. ence family life directors, and the NAD womens' ministries director speaking appointments in churches, And he was right ; ) began making copies of the one I sent womens' ministries meetings, chapel her and sending it to all the union and Are we always the last ones to conference directors. talks at Walla Walla and Columbia know? IJnion College, and at the annual Slowly but surely, the names began ASPA meeting last year (college and Walt Elias V coming in. At the end of the first two years I have nearly 300 names on my academy deans, chaplains, etc.). And .Connection February 1998 I've written articles on this subject for mailing list. In addition to parents and Women of Spirit, Ministry and Adventist Revievr. other family members, there are also a number of pastors and other church I am glad to see our church leaders who receive it, as well as 25-30 beginning to talk about homosexuality.

Board,rne e t ing aaa Carnpus Outreach finished. Yolanda Elliott and myself sent out joint letters to the BY GREG COX women and on yarious special days (anniversaries, holidays e.g. Easter, valentines day) cards or little notes have been sent out. f]f eret my report: The annual board meeting went great. For the future we are going to continue to do as we have I Ilt was my second one, so I really looked forward to it. before with the letters and cards etc. I *ill t y to get the email The year of outreach was dismal. Not one SDA campus list to be more active and get a good discussion group going. paper would run an ad for Kinship - or even discuss tlat we The women's section of the web page is in the process of being existed for that matter! And, despite multiple attempts and set up and worked and should be there for your use very soon. modes of communication, I was frustrated to say the least. If there is anything that you lovely women would like to see However, some great new ideas have sudaced that will help happen or have any suggestions on how I can serve you more to guide the focus of Campus Outreach for 1998 and beyond. (or even from the men) I would be happy to hear from you. You First, the new website will feature information regarding can email me at: [email protected]. Campus Outreach, scholarships offered by Kinship and a new Boardmeeting went very well and there were, if I remember list posting for college age browsers on the net. Campus correctly, eight women there, which was only 2 less than the Outreach will have its own page describing \"getting connected\" amount of men. Personally I think that is great. as well as referral information. The page will also detail I would love to hear from each and every one ofyou and if Kinship scholarship programs for tuition and Kampmeeting. you do not have e-mail or do not have access to it you can send Also, and I'm really excited about tllis, a \"list posting\" which my mail to the kinship address and theywill forward it to me. will look like a chat, but be focused, anonymous and informa- God bless and take care, V tive for college agers. The topics will be posted by moderators for anyone to respond to (of course with moderator approval first). This will allow Kinship greater access to SDA academia without the Bartja Wachtel, whom many ofyou know was a recent restraints of the G.C. The advertising will also take a new twist. gradaate of Walla Walla College wrlte a letter by e-mail to Instead of placing ads in campus papers, Kinship will post ads in President Folkmbergwbich we haoe reproduced here. papers that surround the SDA campuses. Again, there will be access without restriction. llltimately, these tactics will allow Mr. Folkenberg: Kinship to connect with those in the SDA campuses without I know about the pressure you are putting on those fear of retribution or discrimination. V colleges that have a compassionate stance toward maginalized individuals and you are fooling no one.... Regarding your Woroyn' s Report invitation to visit the SDA church, please note the following P.S. which was inadvertendy left off your message. \"If you BY NATALIE CLOTH!ER are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, please disregard this invitation.\" f-f ello ladies!l Hello and welcome. As the women's A former Walla Walla College young person, I I coordinator I was asked to write a Bartja Wachtel, Spokane, WA V Iitde something for Connection.I have been busy with school and work so have not rctn6h,tbr tueffis been able to do as much as I would have like to have done, but here is a summary of what I (with some help from Yolanda) plan to do. The e-mail list was started and we had March 21: Region 8. Meeting. Phantom of the Opera. San Francisco. quite a good discussion going. More women March,,2 I,:: Reglon 9, Meet@g, feetuiing a, Kamp: Cleig,, Riverside, :: were joining and it was a lot of fun. It died April 18: Region 8. Meeting. Pine Grove. down for a while as is to be expected as we all have busy lives and get caught up. Mtry 23: Regron 8. Meeting. SanJose. The newsletter, edited byMarge Doyle JunC t +-2 t Kinship Kampmeeting. rMinneapolis. and Kathleen Geraty is on its way. We are June 28: Region 8;l Gay Pride. San Francisco. waiting for the artwork and layout to be Connection o February 1998