SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - October 1987

A Publication ol Seventh-day Adventist Gay Men and Lesbians and Their Frbnds :,jr-. ,:,t: October 1987, Volume 1 1 , Number 9c$ od a A Quest graduate o interview generated more response than responds to the a MINISTRY magazine a By Charles Arthut* anything else Ministry has run to date. interview with Colin a Cook: a The scandalI'm sure that the editors of MINISTRY were a \"Does the closing of the Quest a responding to criticism a Learning Center under a shadow prove Colin Cook resigned from Quest in by publishing this disgrace last fall after it was revealed a that attempts to help homosexualsinterview ; however, theyswept the severity of the a change their behavior are misguided?\" that Colin was practicing homosexual problem under the rug o sex on a continuing basis with the a is the teaser for the lead aricle inrather than discussing it a Ministry, the intemational journal of counselees who were sitting at his feetcandidly, calling it a sin to receive his guaranteed deliverance. to be forgiven rather a than acknowledging it a the Seventh-day Adventist Ministerial as a pattern of a Association, September, 1987 issue. The next episode is almost more exploitation. a shocking than the first. Cook, ttrough a [This is the Preach Edition which isO 1987, Kinship lnternational c sent not only to SDA ministers, but free the Quest Center is closed, is back: a counseling, writing, and speaking at a to non-Adventist ministers as well, a totaling 300,000 copies.l seminars. What is worse is that the a Seventh-day Adventist Church is a J. Robert Spangler, the editor, a interviewed Colin Cook, the former promoting him right here in this a a Director of Quest, a so-called homosex- Please turn to page four a ual recovery counseling cenl.er in an a a article titled \"Homosexual Recovery -a Six Years Later.\" The \"rehabilitation Cope?a I a 6 interview\" is the flrst published Can the Church 7 Ministryo acknowledgment from the SDA Church An open Letter to a a that anything went wrong at Quest. Our Unlque Sacrament a This is Spangler's second interview Outa I a with Cook. Ministry did a great deal to Coming a launch Cook's career when in Septem- Black-Gay-{hristian I a bcr of I 98 I they featured him in an The March on Washington 10 a a article called \"Homosexual Healing.\" a The current article, the only one we RegionalNews a a will discuss here, indicates the 1981 11 Kinship Connection, October 1987 1

...Something New The monthly publication of By Lin Ennis SDA Kinship lnternational, lnc. ere it is, the new Connection We hope you like it. We have Box 3&40, Los Angeles CA 90078 taken on its production with enthusiasm and repidation. We are excited about trying to produce a better Connection (213) 876-2076, (408) 866-0159 TDD than we have ever had before, with interesting design, quality writ- ing and lots of pictures. The reality is, it's hard to outdo the perform- Editorial Board ance of the previous editors, J. Vicki Shelton and Emy Lou Johnson, Lin Ennb Editor who for five years brought us interesting design, quality writing and Kent Giacomozzi layod Editor lots of pictures. The biggest change is that this issue is literally being put together Karen Abale Assoclato Editor by people all over the United States. Part of next month's issue will Larry Hallock Associate Edilor come from halfway around the world. There are other changes you Elizabelh Head Associato Edilor will notice. Some of them we are very excited about; some are not John Heelan Associate Editor quite what we were striving for, yet. We are filled with dreams and Mike McArthw Associate Editor ideas that are but crashing cymbals without you. The Connection is a Michael Mclaughlin Associate Editor newsletter, but also a love letter. Please write back; tell us about Robert Foerch Distribution Manager yourself and what's on your mind. Meanwhile, here's who we are: Conkibutors W Lln Ennls... is a writer living in Burbank, CA. She has written prolifically for the Coroection Marie Crofoot Contributing Editor for the last four yean under the name Lin Shepherd and served on the Kinship Gwenda Green Contributing Editor board for three years. [A more cotnplele bio appeared as an insert in lasl rnonth's Hal Jobe Contributing Editor issrza.,/ Lin is responsible for appointing the editorial board, cmrdinating their Ron Lawscn, Ph.D Contributing Edilor activities and representing them and you to the Khship board. Address all general Jesse L. Ma(in Coniributing Editor interest anicles and leuers to the edion to her. Peter Napolitarp Contributing Edhor Wffi Kent Giacomozd... Ren Reyrnbs Contributing Editor is a professional desigrer and writer at a Chicago-based ad agency. He is a graduate Mark Honaker Keylng Assistant of Mile High Academy and Uniqr College (Joumalism and English Literature) and Kinship Board Members also went as I student missionary to Taiwan. The new Connection look was picked Roben F, Bouchard Presidont Marge Doyle Vho President lffi by fte ediorial board from several of Kent's designs. [Walch for the sigruture fashion lbe.l He is in charge of graphic design, layout and productim for each Pamela Roberc Secrotary issue, and writing the general news column. Errol L. Chamnsss fleasuror ll mnll Karen Abate*... went to Adventist grade school, academy, college and graduate school. She teaches Lin Enns ConnoclionEdilor ll nrll college English,has a child, and is inherfirstlesbian relationship which seems to Davki Gray Public Felalions Director llltn..tln] be on a very long honeymoon. She made it to one evening of Kampmeeting this Ron Lawson, PhD Church Liaison year, just long enough to 'be volunteered\" to write feature stories on our Kinship regions, organize the regional monthly calendan and assist with other editorial Ren Reynolds Women's Coordinator board duties. Jym Stuarl lnlormation Services Diroctor ) Not out to parenls. Marb Crofoot Member al Large Obed Vasquez Member at Large nnI:I Larry Hallock... MarshaJ. Langrford Member at Large is director of educatisr for a nationally-recognized AIDS research and support center Gwenda Green Member al Large ll ll located in Chicago. He graduated with a religicr degree from Union College and Regional Directors Listed on page 1 1 has been active in Kinship for the psst seven years serving in several board positians ll frffiflli including regional director, vice president and director of public relations. HeSDA Kinshir lnternatbnal, lnc. b a worldrvide suppo( grouplor Seventh-day Adventbl (lormer 0r cwrsrn) gay men and ll recruits feature stories and helps with editorial focns.lesbians and their frionds. Kimhip abo provides edr.rcationalmateriab and speakers lor indiviluab and gorps desirirp IldIgreater underslanding of homosexualrty and rehted ssuesand nnnthly publbhes he SDA Kinshir Connecti$, aninEkatbnal and informational joumal lor our rnembers andfrien6. Tho subscrhtion rat€ b $24 per year US, $22 formembers, $1 5 lor additbnal subscri:tbns. lnternatbnalpostago (oUside US, Canada, Mexico) is $10 exlra. Letterc, articles, picturos, art and other materials aresolicited from our readershp. lnclude your nama as youwant it published Copy deadlins b the liBt ol tlE monlhprior to publicalion. Copy will be edhed lor space, clarity andinclusive language. Materials cannot be returned withor:t priorarrangemenl. Address all submissions lo the editor, Lin Ennis,643 N Hollywood Way, &rbank CA 91505. Phone (818)848-4648. The appeararrce ol namss 0r ptotographs of personsor organizatiors shouH ml be construed as any irdi:ation ofthe atlectional or ssxual orionlation ol the penon named orshown. Opiniom exprsssod horoin arc nol necessarily thoseol SDA Kinship lnternalional, ln. mr ol tln SDiA KinshirCoilp,ctbnstall. Srbssiplion requesls and address ctungss should bes€nl to SDA KirEhP, Box 38,O, Los Angeles CA 90078. qrrmailing lbt is confidential among ollicers and shfi and is mtsold, r6nted, or oxchanged lor any purpose.2 Kinship Connection,October 1987

nrrrffi'l Elizabcth Hcart+... MIW Hal Jobe... was educated at a Midwest academy, Andrews ll ll University and Loma l-inda University. She is active in was not raised Adventisr, but became involved rn her church and is \"out\" to rwo of her ministers.The Kinship through his life partner, Ilichard Russell, aIlirE-.Elt ll Connection is pleased to have thar drive contribute to former vice president of ',}e organization. IIal and editonal design and article solicitation. Watch for her Richard trave hosted events at their home where llal hasffi coming out slory in a luture issue. tantalized us wirh the most deiec-\"able vegetarian fersrsffi of our lives. Hal will be writing spccial articles on ) Denominationa! employee. preparing t}ese festal food fantasies. IJal manages a John Heclan*.., flower shop when he isn't homemaking. bom and raised by missionary parenrs in central Africa, is a physician living on the west. coast. IIe was educated W Ron Lawson... at Pacific Union College and I-oma Linda University. John has served on the Kinship board five years, and has WI has been Kinship's liaison to the SDA Church since co-edited Kr'nslr ip Kontact, Kinship's \"meet people\" quarterly, for five years. In addition to supporting rhe 1980. He received his Ph.D in srciology from rhe editorial board, John is the computer systsm coordinaror Universiry of Queensland, Australia. He is a professor and the circulation manager. in the Urban Studies Department of Queens College, City University of New York. I{e is presenrly u,riting the definitive sociological accounl of Advenrism, a task which has taken him around the world. Ron will be bringing us church news regularly.rffir Mike McArthur*... W Jesse L. Martin...ll ror= Il works for the federal govemment providing college is a fashion consultant and gospel concert artist,who level programs to federal workers. Mike studied at graduated wilh a degree in N{usic Education fromtllrH..E..lltl Southem College. Jesse is an active member of his Andrews, l: Siena and Southem College. He has a church, serving on the nominating and music committees which are trying to get more gays and master's degree in German and is active in his locai lesbians active in their church. He asks for your prayers Advenl.ist Sabbath School class. Mike is recruiring a and cqnments as he begins his duties contribumg series of devotional articles that will appear approxi- mately every txher month. materials collected on gay and lesbian ethnic issues. ) Government job, active in local church.lIlffirI onll Michael McLaughlin,.. tffit Peter Napolitano... has been a Kinship member for three years and was ll r=r:, ll is a playwright and freelance writer who lives in Newil frffiflli Kampmeeting '87 coordinator. He was bom into an ffill York. He came to Kinship Kamnmeeting in Monterrey Adventist family in rural Kansas, graduated from ll trffi Bay this year as an interested Rcman Carholic and left Enterprise Academy, and obtained a Bachelor of Health with responsibilities for wriring articles on gay culture Science degree frsn Wichita Stare University. At and recruiting coming out stories. present Mike is Director of Cardiopulmonary Sewices atllI !............ \"....r I a hospital in Southem California. In rhe coming months ll Mike plans to enler a post graduate studies program.ffirl IiI''[i]l Ren Reynolds... Robert B. Foerch... lffi. is in her second year as women's coorCinator ofl:.!, .!#.i!.t.il!.::!,!.r.!.!.!,!.i!1.ir$,.,!,1 is originally fron Passaic, NI, and was schooled in r.he Kinship after having served several very successful Passaic public system. He holds a degree from Fairleigh l years as director of Region 8. She is a graduate ofl'l|::.Y.::::iffi:::iW:t.::..:.1 Dickinson University. Robert works in real estate Unian college and taughr for the Adventist academy investment and propeny management in Southem lwl system before switching to the Sacramento publiclffie;iW#,Wtr Califomia. He is in charge of Conaection Distribution, school system from which she recently rerired. Ren will which means he gets it printed; labels, stuffs and sramps lll-rr-odroll be presenting women's issues in the \"Social Concems\"l{ffi.ti4i;,ffi,}\"ti',,1 the envelopes, sornetimes working all night to mail rhem column. to arrive at your box by the fint of the month. ffillllIkI E-{EII Mark Honaker... Marie Crofoot... rffir-l1ll r..... ...il is a legal secretary for a law firm located in downtownll tfrfiflfli is now serving her second year on the Kinship board as L.A. He also is a professional musician, and entertains member at large in charge of special interests of the at locations around southem Caiifomia. Mark grew upll disabled. Marie is herself disabled, though recovering, in an Adventist family, anending academy, a couple of with a hidden, and non-physical disability: agoraphobia. years at Pacific Union College, and spent rime rouring ll- -...-.-.-.. _-.-.-...._Jl Previously she taught severely mentally and physically with a gospel singing group. disabled children and performs a variery of orher services of particular value to the disabled mmmunity. Gwenda Green*... *pseudonym.W is director of an educational center in Australia. She also -forEds. Note a variery of reasons we don't choose to lectures at a university and is involved in educating teachers about the larest trends in teaching literary skills. \"com,e out\" to certain people, or groups of people. The She was educated at an Adventist college. Gwenda will be bringing us women's culture regularly, and closets used in place of photograplu are the Connection's intemational news from time to time. way of recognizing each editor's unique contribution, qnd reasans for choosing anonymity in print. Kinship Connection, 0ctober 1987

a a a a a :.q$rrspyContinuedfrom page oneMinistry zrticle! believe these administrators ill-served way God made you and pretend you are Although Cook admits his wrong our church. something else. God's way is not for the leopard to deny its spots, or fordoing: \"Well,I sinned against God; I I'm sure that the editors of Ministry Ethiopians to deny their dark skin. were responding to criticism bywronged some of my counselees, my Or for evil people to claim they are publishing this interview, however they good while not respecting others, forwife, and the church, and I regret that I swept the severity of the problem under another basic issue is that Cook was practicing sexuality in its lowest form,let a lot of people down,\" he down the, rug rather than discussing it can- a form that took advantage of vulner-plays the sexual activity by saying \"no didly, calling it a sin to be forgiven able people merely for his own selfishintercourse was involved.\" Cook rather than acknowledging it as a gratification. Would the churchadrnilted to \"mutual masturbation\" a rerrabilitate a heterosexual minister pattern of exploitation. after eight months of sexual sobriety-common safe sex practice in the gay following years of sexually abusing and The church embraces defrauding people?community. Cook because they are -The interview In a letter to Elder Neal C. Wilson, trying so hard to findPresident of the General Conference of the church's responseSeventh-day Adventists, dated October someone who has really23,1986, Ron Lawson, Ph.D, docu- changed. The church The church embraces Cook becausemented that Cook's inappropriate doesn't want to admit they are Eying so hard to find someone what most educated who has really changed. The :hurchbehavior was occurring throughout the people already know... does not want to admit what mostlength of his ministry (1979-1986). educated people already know. Ministry must recognize they are notVarious individuals were subjected to mcrely showing misguided compassion Those of us who went to Quest were to someone who has sinned, but conned. Responsible Christians-Cook's dcgrading advances long, supporting someone who charismati- wouldn't walk on others like ttris. cally says what the church wants to People who stand on soap boxes haderotic hugs, phone sex, unwanted nude hear. Why else would the church still better live what they preach. Jim and be trusting this man to tell the truth Tammy Bakker are examples of themassages and mutual masturbation. when he has been lying to so many misuse of religion. Colin Cook has people since the beginning of Quest? joined the religious charlatan club.Some of this behavior was extended toa l6-year-old. The P hiladelphia Gay The real issues The interview sinks to completeNews reported one case of anal sex. One of the basic issues is can homo- absurdity when Cook tells Spangler it sexuals become heterosexual. Colin can was not \"the full homosexuality of \"I was enjoying the physical stuff claim heterosexuality by faith all day long, but he was practicing homosexu- years ago,\" and then states ttrat themore than the counselees were and I ality. God's way cannot be to deny the \"major bondage of homosexuality was over well before my marriage.\" Whatwouldn't admit it,\" Cook states in the rind of homosexuality did he practiceMinistry interview. \"Sexual energy was years ago?being experienced in these events, afact that I denied tn myself... I deluded Was it something worse than themyself into thinking that no one would multiple client partners of the Quest eraunderstand, so I kept the problem to which Cook himself refers to as amyself... I also would have needed the \"sexually addictive pattem?\" Doesn'tassurance that if I did reveal a problem, Ministry recognize that the new sexualI would not have been immediately addiction is much more grievous than the old? Taking advantage of coun-clobbered and thrown out.\" selees has criminal implications superseding those of anonymous sex in The Seventh-day Adventist Churchheavily funded the Quest Leaming bathhouses. Spangler levied crticism againstCenter with our offerings. The churchrequired no accountability. No oneduring my time at Quest ever asked meto give an evaluation of the program, itscounselors, or its success in achievingthe goals it promised. Quest's board,under the direction of Duncan Eva,recently retired vice president of theGeneral Conference of SDA's, neverpolled or questioned the counseleesabout the progress we were making. I4 Kinship Connection, October 1987

those who \"blew the whistle\" on Cook sexual improprieties with clients ! A better responsesaying that ttre spirit of Matthew 18 Cook should have had his licensewas not used in revealing Cook's I, too, share a vision. It's a little\"sins.\" ripped off of him so fast it would leave different from Ministry's. I want a a permanent vacuum. Unfortunately, he church that opens it's dark, closed rnind Cook concurs that this was indeed a was never licensed to begin with. And and listens its members. A church that\"misjudgment.\" Spangler fails to report in addition to his reprobate behavior, will no longer oppress and hurt. Athat Duncan Eva and Neal Wilson were there remains no evidence, other than a church that will be challenged to thinkinformed of indiscretions in 1985, in ways it hasn't thought before. A I too share a vision. It's church that when it sees wrong willmonths prior to the Lawson letter, correct it. A church that when it does a little dffirent from wrong will admit its failure and makewhen Exodus leaders confronted Cook MINISTRY's.I want a restitution.with evidence of indiscretions at their church that opens it'smeetings where Cook was a guest. dark, closed mind ... A The damage has been tremendous. I Though Cook's associate, Dan church that will no believe that both Colin Cook and ttre Seventh-day Adventist Church,Roberts, demanded his resignation, the longer oppress and hurt. including Ministry, have a moralentire incident was swept under the rug. responsibility to those who went to A church that will be Quest to refund all counseling fees,The text says \"if he refuses to listen, challenged to think in moving costs, travel expenses, loss oftell it to the church.\" But what if the ways it hadn't thought professional counseling, zurd damages before. A church that done to those who felt the impact ofchurch refuses to listen? when it sees wrong will this wrongdoing. If confession is correct it. A church that heartfelt, the church will do no less. What about the parr of Matthew 18 when it does wrong willthat says \"whoever offends one of ttrese admit its failure and True repenhnce righs the wrongs itlittle ones who believe in Me, it would has caused. The coming months willbe better for him to have a great make restitution. reveal the moral strength of our churchmillstone fastened round his neck and few faith statements, that major homo- and its leaders. Send your responses toto be drowned in the depth of the sea\" sexual !o heterosexual changes have the September Ministry article to therather than to be almost immediately ever been wrought, an issue Ministry Executive Editor, J. David Newman, fails entirely t0 ad&ess. Ministry, 6840 Eastern Avenue NW,\"endorsed by the church for continued Washington DC20012. @lease send aministry to tle same subset? Or the part At the end of the interview, Spangler and Cook look to a vision of the future - Lcopy to the Connection editor)that says \"if your hand or fcrlt [or that includes \"professionals who willpenisl causes you to sin, cut it off and throw off the demoralized state of Eds. note: It is with disntay tlwtthrow it away; it is better for you to many of the healing professions, Kinship views the publicity tlwt Colinenter life maimed...\" professions ttrat have succumbed to the pale voice of naturalism.\" Cook is receiving as a homasexual. We Ministry glibly reports Cook's feel compelled to state that we do not view Cook's problem as one of homo-confession of sin -- with no reference sexuality, though he seems indubitably gay, but of ethics and personal ema-to possible criminal implications tional problems. Kinship supports responsible same sex dating, courtship,-and supports his \"growth\" as he and singleness or committed relation- ships. We regret Cook implies thatattempts to control his perverse homosexuality is anything other than aaddictions, andyetMinisrry itself, in an state of being that canflourish orissue for clergy on how to cope with founder the same as heterosexuality.crises in the church, an issue whichincludes topics such as \"When tragedy *Charles Aurther is a pseudonymstrikes the pastor\" and \"Visiting thegrief-stricken\" does not even go as faras Cook did in candor, does notconfess, does not admit the Adventistchurch made mistakes in funding Questwithout adequate research into thetenets of ttre organization; in continuingfunding wittrout results accountability,in continuing funding without eveninvestigating the exrent of alleged Kinship Connection, October 1987 s

aoaooata out in years, and simply doesn't bear up from a family so dysfunctional as to under research. create a condition so powerful and A mental- health profe s - compelling that individuals feel that sional reacts to the Colin In fact, study, after study, after study they must submit to years of counsel- Cook scandal and the SDA tells us that we simply don't know why ing, change ministries, celibacy, people are homosexual. We do know, marriages to par[ners they do not love, Church's reaction. however, that $rere is not a particular and so forth ... surely must also type of family that produces a homo- manifest some additional, measurableBy Marsha J. Langford sexual child (while we can pinpoint a pathology.J. Robert Spangler, Editor set of familial characteristics that will With no credentials, it is question-Ministry Magazine able whether Mr. Cook should be6840 Eastern Avenue NW produce a child who becomes an expounding on psychological theory at alcoholic or a juvenile delinquent, or all. But since he chooses to do so, IWashington DC 20012 even an Adventist pastor!). The Ameri- wonder why he feels free to dig back can Psychological Association tells us into the dark ages of psychologicalDear Mr. Spangler: in their official position paper on ttre history just far enough to pluck out an topic of homosexuality that the origins old theory that just seems !o meet his Your September 1987 interview with of homosexuality are unknown.Colin Cook places Minisrry in danger personal needs.of becoming the laughing stock of the The classic study on homosexualsmental-health field. As the director of done by Evelyn Hooker, Ph.D, at If the Seventhday Adventist Churchan out-patient treatrnent center special- UCLA in1972 indicates ttrat homo really believes ttrat homosexuality is aizing in addictive disorders; and as the sexuals display no more or less condition that individuals can recoverpresident of the board of directors of from, why don't they seek crediblethe largest publicly-funded women's 6 individuals to conduct responsiblerecovery facility in the United States;and as a counselor with more than ten The r-eal reason Colin research and provide services presidedyears of professionql experience over by rained professionals? Why dodealing wittr clients from diverse walks Cook slipped time, after they insist upon dragging out thisof life (which includes homosexuals time is that he is a very tortured, twisted and pathetic man who sick man, and should not is mired in denial about a very serious,and heterosexuals alike), I believe I be counseling anyone. addictive disease that has nothing to do with his homosexuality?speak with some authority in saying pathology than does the population as athat Mr. Cook offers not one single whole. This study has been duplicated Mr. Cook quotes Ellen White in Tfteshred of credible information about the in other universities throughout ttre Ministry of Healing, and suggests thatnature of homosexuality, human nature United States. The importance of ttris his work with homosexuals is simplyor even addiction. And if ever there finding is that it suggests that homo- an application of Mrs White's prin-was an example of \"the inmates sexuality does not result from any sort ciples in dealing with the alcoholic.running the asylum,\" Mr. Cook is most of emotional pathology at all, as it isassuredly it. reasonable to zlssume ttrat a person Indeed, in alcoholism treatment it is often the practice to employ recovering Cook states early in the interview: alcoholics to share their experience,\"It's my view that the homosexual srength and hope with those who stillexperiences a state of arrested growth suffer.during childhood, a kind of psychologi-cal orphaning with regard to his love It is also the practice, withoutneeds and identity with the parent ofsame sex.\" Anyone with a current exception, to dismiss treatrnent em-library card can discover that this oldpsychological saw hasn't been dragged - -ployees professional or peer after6 Kinship Connection,October 1987 they slip even once. And they may not return to the field as service providers until they have two years of continuous sobriety. The reasoning behind this is simple: 1) To allow the individual to attend to his or her own treatrnent needs, and 2) Because it is assumed Please turn to page nine

By Chris Glaser 0,cr0ff1, witnessed as spiritually he idea of Could it be our creativity? Creativity powerful that is derived from suffering and enough !o observing oppression? A desire !o celebrate life's invoke God's my non- beauty despite our hurt, from art to presence. Hebrew underordination first entertaining? standing claimed this ritualoccurred to me last year. It was the effected God's forgiveness.first Sunday of August and the tenth With AIDS among us, might funerals Reminiscent of this ancientanniversary of my non-ordination. become our sacrament, a dme !o yeam belief, Jesus's vulnerability death on No ordained person could be found for liberation from spiritual discrimina-to preach and administer Communion, -a cross was experienced by believersso I was asked to preach and Commun- tion? -as a redemptive act in which God cameion was postponed. Could our sacrament be ordination The frustration of being unable to near to them, forgiving and embracingoffer Communion that day led me to itself, in which More Light congrega- them. Some Christians believe this re-reflect on the nature of sacraments tions defiantly ordain gay and lesbian demptive act is re-enacted in the ritual elders and deacons, acts of ecclesiasti- of the Eucharist; others believe it is-those events instituted by Christ which cal disobedience not unlike the acts of commemorated in the ritual of Com- civil disobedience needed to change munion.commemorate redemptive acts and by unjust laws?which Jesus Christ is present wiLh What strikes me as paflicularlybelievers. Or perhaps our sacrament is baptism, significant in both Hebrew and Chris- tian spiritual experience is that vulnera- The Presbyterian Church officially which affirms that believers are heirs of bility is a key element of reconciliationrecognizes only two sacraments, and that vulnerability (acted, re-enactedbaptism and communion. But that may the covenant of grace and enables them and commemorated) may serve z$ asimply reveal a lack of spiritual to show themselves to be in the Lord's \"visible sign\" of God's reconcitng,imagination and vision. If we truly redemptive presence.believe Jesus Christ still lives, it seems ministry to others. If baptism indeedto me that Christ may have instituted a heralds a participation in the ministry I believe vulnerability is our uniquefew more sacraments since the Jesus of sacrament as gay and lesbian Chris-history walked this earth. of Christ, thcn doesn't baptism give us tians. And what is the ritual associated a birthright to ordination? with this sacrament? Corning out of For example, from an outsider's the closet.view, it appears to me that blacks All these sacraments we share withsuffering apartheid in South Africa This sacrament, is something we canhave found their unique sacrament in others. What is our unique sacrament? celebrate with one other person, or withfunerals. In the process of mourning a A non-gay friend observed that what the entire church. For believers, it is afallen martyr, the worshipers com- redemptive act, instituted by a livingmemorate the redemptive act of their ouched her the most about the gay Christ, and in which Jesus is present,life and death. people she had encountered was our welcoming others into a new commun- ability to be vulnerable with one Those of us who, as lesbians and gay another. A non-gay participanL at one ion of intimacy and integrity! Amen, suffer a spiritual apartheid in the of our educational conferences offeredchurch, might wonder what oar unique a similar observation: \"Here at your Chris Glaser lives in Hollywood CA.sacrament is; one instituted by christ's conferences... I feel ttrat I may be Harper & Row has accepted hisSpirit in our midsq one which com- myself in a way I can't in my own aut obi o gr aphy abo ut s e e kin g ordina-memorates our redemption; one by congregation.\" In other words, we tion in the Presbyterian Church. Thewhich Jesus Christ is experienced as welcomed his vulnerability. book will be available in hard coverpresent to those with eyes to see and during the summer of 1988. This articleears to hear. Primitive religious understanding is reprintedfrom MORE LIGHT held that, as the body of an animal (or UPDATE, the monthly newsletter of Could it be sexuality iselfl Our human) sacrifice was cut in two, therecognition of its need to be fully Divine went back and forth between the Presbylerians for lesbianl gay concerns. severed pieces. Spilled blood, theintegrated with our spirituality? Our grossest form of vulnerability, wascelebration of it as one more means ofGod's grace and love? Kinship Connection, October 1987 7

On The Road torilAsHr GTOllBy Kent Giacomozzl positive status,or those perceived !o have AIDS. hat organizers are Massive increase in funding for AIDS eduction, research, and calling the largest civil patient care. Reproductive freedom, ttre right tov rights demonstration in U.S. control our own bodies, and an end to sexist oppression.Vhistory will take place on Ociober 11 An end to racism in this country and apartheid in South Africa.when tens of thousands of lesbians,gays and friends descend on Washing-Y Vton D.C. for the 1987 March onWash-6ington. The demonsffation focuses onseven demands: The objectives of the march haveV kgal recognition of lesbian and ... in order for this been endorsed by a number of members of congress (most notably those from gay relationships. country to be a California), and others ranging from showcasefor human and actress Whoopie Goldberg to the Rev.V The repeal of all laws that make civil rights, all citizens Jesse Jackson. sodomy between consenting adults must share the A contingent of Kinship members protection af our laws. a crime. will represent the organization at the - Leo McCarthy, Lt.V A Presidential Order banning anti- Governor, CA march and related events (see schedule gay discrimination by the federal below). If you cannot attend, support government. those who are marching by keepingV Passage of the Congressional them in your thoughts, and send lots of lesbian and gay rights bill. positive energy to the event. AV An end to discrimination against people with AIDS, ARC, HIV :,,,:,:,TOhcurtsodbaey raShd&F9 r:ida,y,,, , ,, sundey-,,r0ctd6diiii:1,]]]]i],]::,,,::,i:::;i::::::i::llll ]lill,:::.i::::i]l,l,li ..,,,tuonaaY;,0itdbdt,.,i2,'..,,',,,.,..r.........................',..'....... Delegadons Wilt meer, wirh ttreir V'........ThC MAith,,and. Ral!r.,..,.',... :::,Vr.:::::::Natio.nal,[esbiian,,ahd :Gaj ::,,r:iir:i::::r,irr :r: senaiorS and members of ,....,,..',.',.....,.,.,...,..... :,,,,:Plans presently call for mobilizing Meeting , ::::rr:,rr,,r: r rri:iRighti:.CongIBS,,Planning,.:i,iiiii.ii'.iiii.:...,.:,, Congreis to urge them to \"',,'.i I ]i iiiiiiiiiiii::on:,the,Euipse and mucling,o,,ne l:::,: ,, tes'n*oo*,,.'., ialllffoi,a on,,dlg westr,,r.::r:r:r:r,,,,:i::: ., Plans will be,initiated for a 1988 nationwide congess of lesbiani ',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Capitol iiihvii.,,..::vi!eitns, Memoiial,,ServicC,,,.,,,..,', ........,. *illii....i'.........,Veterana itiiiiiiii:i...i...,.[nd.',sayi,ften,ib,,; i,iiiiiiiiii....i..i,..i...i,i....1..,..'....Wto,uoDroeriate COndiiCt a membrial........ priorities,,and u,devi$e SEatbl:r r:r:.:,:.:::: of r,,,,,,,':,,,,:,,,,serviee,at thei,tbmb ........ .,..',,,. lsaiuioal',,6aorai.,to.,,,..........,,.,,....l,,l.ll the Un::,r, ::ir::,1 l.l...V The Wedding rriiiiiiiii,.,.,'.rknowh,,,S6ldiei:to h0noi fte ,many...:..:., , rr:......'...thou ds,of ga, men,ana lesbiani:,. ......i.,.'.,*'un...ttt..accomelishioe..,tn*....... ...,.. ......A nonsecurian unioh celebration wtro trare giren rtreir lives whileof the relationships of ihousands V,,,, ,,,r.mbmbeiS 6f.thU.,U S, mill[3fY',,,: :,,,..,.:. :.,.:.:; \7iri:,.Ci''l --ob.e.diCnte, foi, LeSbian,,,,, c.ouples. \",',,oJ Same sex, ,,,,,,,,,,,,: Aids Memorial Project ,,t,:,rt:::::,V t'::LAemsberiaicna & Gav Bands of' ,,-' Concert iThg,Names,nOieci,iS creating,,a,,,,1,;,,,,, i :i,:::: i:,A,nonviolehf cinil disobedience,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Thirteen bands and two choruses . i, ii,nad0nal',AlDs Memoiial com:, ,,,,. ..'. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,action,,at,the,,,Supreme,,Courr,to,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,.,.....1...,.,, pqsed,,of ,ttrouSan0S o'f ..indiVidiial .1 iii;ii.llfeaturing 250 musicians, will ' men. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,deman4:rfullrcivil:rightsfoi:.:,:........l............i, ,fabriC panels, each inscribed wirh lesbians and gayperform from 8 o tt p.m. n-e:r : : ilre bf :Someone lost to AIDS::8 Kinship Connection, October 1987

Coming Out, the Work of a LifetimeBy Pam Roberts adapt to a family environment filled -society had formed to hold me in as with comments about \"odd\" eating have come a long way from a Christian, a lesbian, and as a woman. habits and Sabbath observances. My first two steps had landed me in a that traumatic day when I Out of one mold, I found myself in world that was both homophobic and hrst faced my true sexuality an even tighter one. The SDA Church sexist. This world is almost as oppres-to last year's triumphant ride on my taught homosexuality was a sin. I had sive towards women as it is towardmotorcycle in the San Fransisco Gay/ to open the Bible and let the Holy Spirit homosexuals. The next step out was thc guide me to answers rather than let emergence of my feminisnilhumanism.Lesbian Freedom Day Parade. Irss official doctrine dictate my life.than five years ago, I could not bring It seems I am continually being born I still had yet to step out of the moldmyself m say the word \"lesbian.\" Now -agun first as a Christian, then aI can ride with 300 lesbian sisters, Name:known as \"Dykes on Bikes\" through Pam Roberts lesbian, and now a feminist/humanist.the cheers of thousands shouting theirsupport for my/our freedom. Label: None of these is cancelling out fie Lesbian This event was only one of the recent other, but rather, being connectedones in the course of my \"coming out.\" Staus: within the person-\"coming ou6/Coming out has not been a single Singlemoment, event, or even an extended growing up\" inside of me. Aperiod of my life. I'm learning that Out to:\"coming out\" means more than Friends and P am Roberts confe s se s to po s se ssin gaccepting my homosexuality. It's family c soap opera set of details which she\"gtowing up,\" and stepping out of ttre has not gone into here. She lost her jobmolds created by our parents, our teaching in a public elementary schoolchurch, and our society. because she was suspected of being a lesbian. She subseqwntly taught in One of my first steps was leaving my private and public schoolsfor the lastsecular family to become baptized in four years. Pam is now pursuing athe Adventist Church. I learned to degree in law at Hastings in San Fransisco. She is serving her thirdyear as Kinship secretary.An Open Letter... They have come from every walk of Cook would want to jump so quickly life, every sort ofreligious background. back into the thick of things, for CookContinued from page seven None of them makes sexual overtures obviously has a profound and highly toward their cliens, regardless of developed capacity for rationalization.that individuals cannot give what they circumstances: stress or no stress, daily But why would ttre church continue todo not have. communion with God, or no commun- back him? Surely it makes as much ion with God. Healthy, well-trained sense as establishing a day care center Quite possibly the most shocking, counselors know that the impact of to be headed by the infamousand extraordinary statement that Mr. violating a client in any way is far- McMartin family.Cook makes is his comment about hissexual harassment of his counselees at reaching and does permanent, intrac- I can only assume that the church'sQuest. His explanation, that he was table damage. And all state licensing vested interest in the success of change\"fool enough to think that I could agencies agree that this violation is so ministries is so strong that, against all heinous, that in every state the license reason, ttrey will continue to back colinsurvive morally within the context of of a professional is revoked afterjust Cook until his \"slips\" become the causethe highly charged relationship of one incident of admitted sexual for public shame for Adventistscounselor and counselee without this everywhere. And so one must assumedaily communion with God\" is patently harassment. that the power of the Adventist Church Imagine my horror, then, when I saw to reasonably and rationally examineabsurd. issues relative to homosexuality must The real reason Colin Cook slipped that Cook will soon resume leading always be viewed as questionable.time, after time, after time is that he is a seminars for rccovering homosexuals. Sincerely,very sick man, and should not be What can the Adventist Church be Marsha J. Langfordcounseling anyone. I have known a tlrinking? What can Ministrybegreat many counselors in my lifetime, ttrinking? It is no surprise that Colin Kinship Connection, October 1987 9both personally and professionally.

Black-Gay-ChristianA member of the Kinship woman everyone just knew I would again be a member of a black SDA spend my life with) I prayed again for Church. They have not, to date, evenfamily shares his personal guidance. appeared to attempt to understand the option regarding sexuality. After all thee.xperience. Because of my love for her and the suffering our people have been through, deep inner conflict I was experiencing, one would think we could go to \"ourBy Jesse Martin I asked God to get me out of the rela- own\" for love and acceptance. tionship because it could never work. n talking with my lover of 3 The very next day my prayer was In the ultimate sense, however, all is answered, and I was at peace with not lost. Even though we all seem to be I 12 y ear s regarding this myself. unable to accommodate differences trilogy, I definitely decided arnong us ... this difficulty keeps us Now, regarding Christianity: I was looking to Jesus who truly understandsthat I am first of all black (see picture, nurtured by a beautiful, godly mother. and loves unconditionally. Our ethnic Since a small boy I have always been, needs are quite the same as everyone'spage 2). Next, am I gay or Christian? and will continue to be, an active needs. We neither desire nor accept Christian. Why? Because Christ, crutches or excuses. We are, together,OK, gay wins, probably because it is Christ's word, and the church are vital !o my entire well being. Also, because strong people with strong faith. Ainherent. tJrre church needs me. Several times this year ethnic issuesBeing brought up in a black \"macho\" I've discovered that we never truly will be presented in the social concernsenvironment, I thought I had to repress leam the big lesson about relationships.my early fcelings. Didn't we all? I column. For example, I will probably neverdated girls, grew to love one, andprayed that God would help me trulylove a woman the way my dad anduncles did y-eairfs I was supposed to. theAfier four of college (datingHomophobia suspend the Rev. Rose Mary Denman orientation. The bill passed 5-0 and is from the ministry of the United the first of is kind in Riverside County,-CHICAGO Poiice arrested south- Methodist Church because she is openly lesbian. according to the Scn Franciscosider Johnny Campbell and his girl-friend Alicia Abraharn, charging them Denman says she had already LSentinel.with the murder of Abraham's 4-year- decided to leave the Methodist Churchold son and the aggravated battery of and transfer her ministry to the Unitar- New victory lor gay/lesbianher 6-year-old son. ian Universalist Association, which couples accepts her sexual orientation. How- Campbell apparently was concerned ever she demanded the trial in the -SEATTLE A gay couple filed aabout the boys' homosexual tendencies, Methorlist church because she believes the policy baning homosexual minis- complaint with the Seattle Humanand had repeatedly told Abraham tlat Rights Department charging that ters is wrong. A Pacific Northwest Bell PNB) discrimi-these tendencies had to be corrected. nated against their employee, Micheal The murder followed a specific New antidiscrimination measures Foshay, when they denied him paid funeral leave in 1985 when his lover'sinstance: the toddler had reportcdly -LONG BEACH, California The city father died. The complaint chargedbeen screaming in a high voice and that PNB discriminated again FoshayCampbell \"demanded that he speak in a council passed a gay rights bill which on the basis of marital status. prohibis employment discrimination- -manly voice a deeper voice but on the basis of sexual orientation. The Seattle Human Righs Depart- ment has agreed and called for concili-he wouldn't,\" said police Detective -CATHEDRAL CITY, Califomia ation. If PNB refuses to cooperate in conciliation, then the National GayGuy Flabiak. A Located near Palm Springs, the city Rights Advocates (NGRA) will take also passed a new law which barsMethodists suspend minister discrimination on the basis of sexuai them to court. A-DOVER, Hew Hampshire The of a juryAssociated Press reports thatthe Methodist church voted 11-2 to10 Kinship Connection, October 1987

-Region I Reflections of a First TimerDiscovering people who are\"more than regular.\"By Karen Abate wasn't sure what to expect. -Region I members picturedl Back row, lelt to right [lilarie, Chris, Fichard, David, Slephen; Here I was going to a - -Middle Cindy, Karen, Mark, Bob; Front Clere, AJ, Region 8 meeting of SDA the world is like growing up Adventist God's family. I will practice hardlyKinship, and I'd only just found out, and then discovering you are gay\"thanks to an ad in Ms. Magazine,that even noticing when others do lovethere were others out there like me. By crowd. wrong,I will put away childish thingslike me I mean raised Adventist, nowgay or lesbian, and a reguiar person. We talked about the next meeting, and stop looking through a glass which would consist of attending anThe regional director, Cindy Belleau, area church we'd been invited to darkly, and maybe, by God's grace, Ipromised me all three! followed by a potluck at a nearby park (a nice regular ending). can someday \"see clearly,just as The meeting was at a Kinship clearly as God sees into my heart rightmember's bay-area home. We'd all Further business consisted of Cindy's now\" that \"there are three things that announcement of upcoming balloting remain-faith, hope, and love-and thebeen told to bring food for a potluck; I for regional director. She was nomi-was A-F, salads. Already I felt comfort- greatest of these is love\" (vs 12-3). Aable, like the good old potlucks in in nated and ran unopposed. The platformthe Dorcas room after church. she handed out looked ambitious, The hostess put my salad in herrefrigerator, gave me a drink, and sent courageous, and full ofhardly noticing. Van Johrson Region Ime out to the back yard where ttre Hardly regular.regular people were sitting around, (215) 862-0216talking about regular stuff. Then it was time to eat. The entrees Ray Bristow Hegion 2 were vegetarian (regular Adventist) and Sixteen showed up altogether, twelve spicy (not so regular); the men were (703) 387-1 999men and four women. Cindy seemed helpful with clean-up (something else Open Region 3please. She said that this proportion ofwomen was higher than Kinship's -new and different Dorcas would Gary Stebbeds Hegion 4national numbers. I hadn't thought of (71s\ 479-4n7that or what it might mean before. probably tum over in her grave). Then there were slides from Kamp- Terre Pric.e Region 5 Also, a deaf person named Stephenwas there, and Marie Crofoot, Disabled meeting to see, so the blazing late (71 3) 622-8308Services Coordinator of Kinship, was summer afternoon Califomia sun not- Lee Hardirp Region 5doing her best to sign conversal.ions withstanding, we sequestered ourselvesand proceedings for him. Cindy and (303) 322-4s68Marie said it was hard tro get interpret- Open RegionTers for these meetings. Something elsefor me to think about. ICindy Belleau Region We started with a devotional. Cindy (408) 866{1s9had asked David to read 1 Corinthians13 from The Living Bible. The group Octobr 24, attenwn neeti| at Chris's trouse in Santalked about how Kampmeeting had Fnnsixo, ewning Halhween party. Call for detaib.been such a loving experience andabout how to get that experience into in a semi-darkened room to watch DougBom Region9our smaller meetings. them. The love came through. I'11have (81 8) 50G1493 We talked especially about verse 5, to go next year to check out love &tober 23-25 AIDS gnyer vilil at C*od Sheplerd MCC in \"going on forever\" (v. 8).which says \"love will hardly even Hilhhnd, Near San kmadino. Kinsh:p b ptoviding henotice when others do it wrong.\" Now Sabbath nodng church servkn. Call lor &tails.there's a good one for the \"nothing in And meanwhile, thank you Region 8. Jeremy Young Region 10 You're anything but regular, and God (41 6) s33-5896 bless you for iL You are people in our Kinship Connection, October 1987 1 1

Free paper Questee murdered Likes it\"The Quest Learning CenterA{omo- Stan Detweiler,4l, amember of the Please enter my subscription to Kinshipsexuals Anonymous: Trouble in an Connection as quickly as possible. I am\"Ex-Gay Ministry,\" a 22 page paper by Church of the Brethren who attended in possession of the June '87 editionRon Lawson, Ph.D, is available free to the Quest Learning Center from 1981- and, frankly, am quite impressed with 1983, was brutally murdered in his the quality of publication youinterested parties who mail a9\" X 12\" home in July by two drug crazel distribute. individuals intent on robbing him afterself-addressed stamped envelope 1$.56 overhearing Stan's roommate describe Keep up the good work. I lookpostagefor 12 sheets plus the enve- their belongings to a friend in a bar. forward !o becoming one of your While at Quest, Detweiler was mo- regular readers.lopel .Tl;e paper is a broader coverageof the topic than has been presented at lested by Colin, and was not \"cured\" of Berrien Springsone time inthe Conrcclion, and was his homosexuality. Colin Cook was theoriginally read at a meeting of the eulogist for the funeral, and after MinoritiesAmerican Sociological Association in presenting a glowing account of Stan's \"facing his sin\"\" preached about people I appreciate your use of the wordChicago, August, 1987. A who were weak and unable to \"face \"disabled,\" rather than euphemisms their sin.\" Kinship extends sympathy like \"physically challenged,\" which is Send requests to: the term most often used in the Con- Ron Lawson !o Stan's roommate and other nection in the past. You can't please 39-28 45th Street survivors. &. everyone, but \"disabled\" is the most Sunnysidel{Y 11104 acceptable word. The use of \"physi- Subscription renewal cally challenged\" in reference to what I Passing am doing for Kinship misses the point, Yow Connection expiration date is on and leaves out a whole lot of other by Van Johnson your mailing label. Under t}re present people with disabilities, myself system, when you receive a \"last issue Kinship member Jim Passer of warning wrapper\" you have only a few included. Sylvan Beach, New York, died of a days [not even aweek] a respond in Cindy and I ... appreciate your heart attack on Saturday, August 22, pioneering effors for for women in 1987. order to receive unintemrpted service. Kinship. We have been on Kinship's Though he was raised Adventist and We will try to change the system, but in mailing list nearly since its inception, loved the Sabbath doctrine and talking but until recently, found the sexism in about the history of the church, his the meanwhile, check your label and Kinship more than we were willing to strong Christian convictions led him to tolerate. the Quakers, where he found a church renew now. A working for world peace, against Marie Crofoot nuclear proliferation, and which Materials requisition San Jose accepted him as a gay man and child of Kinship publications, forms, stationery, etc. may be obtained from Marie NeEd,. conf ideiltia,l, cou.nseling.? God. Crofoot,3963 Hamilton Ave. #1, San Jim often wrote to Adventist publica- tf yqoiiire,,feoling,,:lonely;;depte d,i, Jose CA 95130 A suicidal or in need of a gay or tions, television programs, and General lesbian referral, I know a network Conference officers protesting inaccu- Coming out awards of gay- and lesbian-supportive rate statements about gay and lesbian people. Congratulations to: :, Frofessiomls.inati6firvi.de;. ..I, am, .i,.,,,., . Marie Crofoot who has come out The walls of Jim's home were about her agoraphobiq Lin Ennis who also willing to talk wil.h you . decorated with words rather than is using her real name in print (for- peisonally, :You can be very'secrlre pictures. ,..'.,that..ab ute confi&ntialjt ..iS,iii,i,,,,i, i merly Lin Shepherd); Jesse Martin A favorite of mine was a large sign ,1o*,*,,caU or y,.rtie,,r:o.,,,* or,, in his living room referring to the who is using his real name in print Quaker worship services in which (formerly Jesse Lamar). lvlam,.Ji..Langf,ord,.,,.. everyone sis silently meditating and praying for half an hour before speak- To receive your official coming out -,.i,, ing: award, please send your name to the (818)84846/.8\"i.., Layout Editor at 948 South Oak Park i,. ,,Ttre..Revl \"Attention! Ave. #3, Oak Park,IL 60304.a I am a Quaker. 643 N: Hoflywgod Way In Case of Emergency, Please Be Quiet!'L12 Kinship Connection, October 1987