SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - October/November 2009

connection▼The Newsletter of Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. Vol. 33 No. 9 – Oct./Nov. 2009The Time Seventh-Gay Adventist (p10)has Come!(p9) Kinship News (p12) How to Log in to KOL (p13) The Book & The Beach (p15)Board Meeting (p4) The Good, the Bad Australian Kampmeeting (p14) and the Ugly” (p7)

connectionKINSHIP BOARD Asia: Jonathan, [email protected]: Yolanda Elliott OTHER COORDINATORSVice President: Naveen JonathanSecretary: David Thaxton Transgender/Intersex: Christian Bryan,Treasurer: Accounting Team [email protected] / [email protected] of Church Relations: Dave FergusonDirector of Communications: Jacquie Hegarty Older Adults: Ren Reynolds, [email protected] of Diversity: Obed Vazquez-Ortiz IMRU? (Young Adults Under 30): Ruben López,Director of Women’s Interests: Karen WetherellDirector of Youth Interests: Ruben López [email protected]: Ruud Kieboom (Kinship Europe), Webmaster: Linda Wright, [email protected] Sharlett Reinke (Family and Friends), Page McDaniel WHO WE ARE... (Campus Outreach) Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. isConnection Editor: Catherine TaylorKampmeeting Coordinator: Linda Wright a non-profit support organization. We minister to theMembership Services: Member Services Team spiritual, emotional, social, and physical well-being ofOffice Services: Fred Casey current and former Seventh-day Adventists who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersexCOMMITTEE CHAIRS individuals and their families and friends. Kinship facilitates and promotes the understanding andAdvisory Council: Dave Ferguson affirmation of LGBTI Adventists among themselves andCommunications: Jacquie Hegarty within the Seventh-day Adventist community throughExecutive Committee: Yolanda Elliott, Naveen Jonathan, education, advocacy, and reconciliation. Kinship is an organization which supports the advance of human David Thaxton, Jacquie Hegarty, Obed Vazquez-Ortiz rights for all people.Finance Committee: Bob Bouchard – chair, Founded in 1976 the organization was incorporated Isis Montalvo, Dave Ferguson, Samuel Pang, in 1981 and is recognized as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit Yolanda Elliott organization in the United States. Kinship has a boardGovernance: David Thaxton made up of thirteen officers. There are also regionalInternational Growth and Development: Floyd Pönitz and population coordinators in specific areas. The current list of members and friends includes approxi-REGIONAL COORDINATORS‚ USA mately 1,550 people in more than forty-three countries.Region 1 (ME, NH, VT, MA, RI, CT, NY, PA, NJ): David Thaxton SDA Kinship believes the Bible does not condemn or even mention homosexuality as a sexual orientation. and Catherine Taylor, [email protected] Ellen G. White does not parallel any of the Bible textsRegion 2 (MD, VA, WV, NC, DE, DC): Yolanda Elliott, that are used to condemn homosexuals. Most of the anguish imposed upon God’s children who grow up as [email protected] LGBTI has its roots in the misunderstanding of what theRegion 3 (TN, AL, MS, GA, SC, FL): [email protected] Bible says.Region 4 (MN, IA, MO, WI, MI, IL, IN, OH, KY): SUPPORT KINSHIP [email protected] Kinship operates primarily on contributions from itsRegion 5 (AK, KS, LA, OK, TX): Floyd Pönitz, members and friends. Help us reach out to more LGBTI [email protected] Adventists by making a tax-deductible donation toRegion 6 (ND, SD, NE, WY, UT, CO, NM): SDA Kinship International. Please send your check or money order to the address below or donate securely [email protected] online at sdakinship.org. (You can also donate usingRegion 7 (AK, WA, OR, ID, MT): [email protected] your Visa or MasterCard by contactingRegion 8 (NV, HI, CA zip 93600+): Obed Vazquez-Ortiz, [email protected]. You will be phoned so that you can give your credit card information in a safe [email protected] manner.)Region 9 (AZ, CA zip 93599-): [email protected] SDA Kinship, PO Box 69, Tillamook, OR 97141, USAAFFILIATED INTERNATIONAL REGION COORDINATORS or visit SDA Kinship’s website at:Australia & New Zealand: Noel Thorpe, www.sdakinship.org. [email protected]: Itamar Matos de Souza, [email protected]: Jerry McKay, [email protected] & South America: Alexander Gomez Pasco, [email protected]: Ruud Kieboom, [email protected]: Roy Raetzer, [email protected] & Eire: Mike Lewis, [email protected] 2

connection From the Editor A String Too Short to SaveTonight I am writing to you from England. People arestill sitting at the dinner table behind me, laughing Rom Wilderand talking in four languages. The European KinshipMeeting has ended. The “holiday” part of this yearly Last night the winter clothes came out. I'mtime has begun. In the last six weeks, Kinship leaders fonder of wool-sweater weather than I am ofand members have had a board meeting in San the seasons of cotton t-shirts. By addingFrancisco, enjoyed a mini-Kampmeeting in North layers, you can warm up in winter. InCarolina, created a well-attended Australian Style summer you can only take off so manyKampmeeting, respectfully and gently protested the layers before you are fired, arrested, orconference at Andrews University designed to count- sunburned in places you didn't know youer the positive effects of Christianity and Homo- had.sexuality: Some Seventh-day Adventist Perspectives,and traveled from eleven countries to attend the This winter I'm retiring a wonderful, butEuropean meeting in Saffron Walden, Essex, UK. beyond repair, worn-out sweater my sisterDaneen, Stephen, and Lily continue their three-month lovingly and generously knitted for me.journey to create the documentary film “Seventh-Gay After knitting the sweater, Giny had enoughAdventists.” Linda has announced the theme for next yarn left to knit Lynn, my eccentric partner,year’s Kampmeeting in Atlanta. Ruben and Floyd a single sock. Lynn loved that sock. It washave processed the requests for and welcomed full of symbolism for her and was quirkyseveral new members. And the list goes on. I am enough (being a loner sock) to make it astartled by the depth and variety of events that are forever treasure.happening in our Kinship world. It’s hard to keep up.The electronic and print media are increasingly The sweater itself had to be mended andimportant for us to stay in touch with and support shorn up in weak areas over the years. Theeach other. Beginning with the January issue the time finally came that it had to have newConnection will be changing to a primarily electronic cuffs. I mentioned to Lynn that I could onlypublication. Those of you who would like to continue think of one way to save the sweater. \"Notto receive it in your postal mailboxes need to let us my sock!\" she cried in horror. But her goodknow before that time. Those of you who would like heart won out over her sentimental attach-to donate to support the Connection’s printing and ment and love of the unique solo sock. Themailing costs are encouraged to do so. We are sock provided the yarn for the cuffs.working to be more ecological, economical, andcolorful! As so many parts of Kinship are growing No more repairs can be made to thisand changing, we want to invite you to let us know sweater, but I cannot bear to give it away orwhat you would like and how you would like to be up. There's a lot of good wool yarn in it ininvolved. Your voice is what we need to build Kinship places that didn't much wear. I think I'llin ways that are useful for you. This issue includes unravel it and knit a single sock for Lynn.Rom’s regular columns, reports on the focus of our That way she and I will both have part ofboard meeting, shares some thoughts from The Book the sweater we loved.and the Beach weekend, introduces you to moremembers of our Kinship family, and reprints anewspaper article written about one of our familymembers. We hope you enjoy it. More importantly, wewish for you to take good care of yourself for you areinfinitely valuable. s 3

connection From left to right: David Thaxton, Obed Vazquez, Fred Casey, Dave Ferguson, Floyd Pönitz, Catherine Taylor (Connection Editor), Naveen Jonathan, Karen Wetherell, Ruud Kieboom, Ruben López, Marcos Apolonio, Yolanda ElliottSDA Kinship Int. Board Meeting September 13-15, San Francisco, CaliforniaAs you have read in our regional note, electronic board eNews, on KinNet and in the Connection, our Kinship com-munity has a remarkable number of programs and events happening. The focus of this board meeting was the devel-opment of our budget to support our programs, and discussions of ways to make them stronger. In this section weare going to share a bit of our worship talk and the plans of our board members for their work this year.Worship- Summarized from Marcos Apolonio thing to have peace with this.” I wanted which we are struggling, God says, “My more. grace is sufficient.” It will cover every- “To keep me from becoming con- thing and more. Listening to that wordceited because of these surpassingly One day I opened the New English matches the love of God about whichgreat revelations, there was given me a Version of the Bible and was amazed we have always heard and the God ofthorn in my flesh… Three times I plead- to find that the word translated there is love I have known. That word sufficiented with the Lord to take it away from sufficient. It’s very subtle but there is ame. But He said to me, “My grace is difference between enough and suffi- empowers, validates, and encouragessufficient for you for my power is made cient. If you ask the treasurer how me. I feel heard.perfect in weakness’” (2 Cor. 12:5-10). much money is available and they say I don’t know your problems. In our The Contemporary English Version enough, we are often concerned. But home, we have been dealing withreads this as, “My kindness is all you with sufficient, we are more comfort- many, many things. Obed asked me if Ineed.” The Greek ARKEO is translated thought the avalanche would ever stop.into Portuguese as basta, enough. able. We all have so many problems, and I went to the roots of the text to see there is much we do not understand. In the times when I have struggled, The good news is that God’s grace ismy understanding of God told me that what God was thinking. Sufficient sufficient—more than enough. God willwhen I asked, “Please, give me some- acknowledges the need but promises give us the support, sufficient grace, tothing,” He was saying “That is enough. that we are not going to want for more. help us to go through whatever we areMy grace is enough for you.” Deep It covers everything. It is ample. Suffi- dealing with right now. sdown I was thinking, “It’s not enough. I cient lets us know that resources aream struggling so much and I feel sobad; I need more. I need to have some- adequate to the situation. Whatever the issue or event with 4

connection Board Meeting - Dreams and VisionsObed Vazquez Kinship woman, all over the world, is– Director of DiversityI would like folks to know that a important. My hope is that each Kinshipconcerted effort is being made to reach woman will be able to find friendship,ethnic and racial minorities with the encouragement, compassion, support,message that there is a place for them blessings, and love. Keep an eye outwithin our spiritual community. on our website (www.sdakinship.org),David Thaxton monthly electronic newsletters, and the– Secretary Connection for our plans and activities. I am committed to keeping accurate Obed Vazquez Dave Ferguson Bob Bouchardrecords for Kinship. I am also willing to (Diversity) (Church Liaison) – Chair of the Finance Committeebe used wherever I am needed. I wantto build up this worthy organization. Kinship continues to depend on your financial support to fund ourPage McDaniel outreach. In this year of financial– Campus Outreach stresses, your contributions are particularly important. If you can I plan to develop more safe places increase your present donation, itwithin sometimes hostile environments would be very helpful. Thank you forfor LBGTI Seventh-day Adventist college whatever support you can give to yourstudents. community.Naveen Jonathan David Thaxton Karen Wetherell Ruud Kieboom– Vice-President (Secretary) (Women’s Interests) - European CoordinatorAs I chair the Member Services Together with a German pastor weCommittee, we will work to create more are organizing a dinner meeting ineffective ways to meet the needs of our Frankfurt on the 5th of December. Withcommunity members. Please know you this meeting we want to revitalize theare welcome to contact me with former HAD group (Homosexual Ad-suggestions or areas where you see ventists Germany) that has fallen apartwe can improve our programs or after the coordinator stopped her work.offerings. Our first goal is to reach out to theDave Ferguson Naveen Jonathan Bob Bouchard people in the Frankfurt area and to find– Director of Church Relations out what their interests are. If this effort (Vice President) (Finance Committee) is successful we will extend our group There are two projects that will be with people from other parts inmy focus for this year: Germany. The people will be invited A Solemn Appeal is a project in personally by mail and through a Ger-which all Kinship members can become man newsletter that Floyd Poenitz isactively involved. Invite all your friends going to distribute among them.and family members to sign the letter at In May 2010 we will have ourwww.asolemnappeal.org. It is very Ruud Kieboom Yolanda Elliott second Advisory Council meeting inimportant that we develop a significant (European Coord.) (President) Dublane, Scotland. The group consistslist of names. of pastors and educators from various European countries, who have key Seventh-Gay Adventists is a film positions in the church.project (www.sgamovie.com) designedto reach outside the world of This year we have started to meet inconservative Christians. We will keep The Netherlands, and we now have aour members informed about this group of 10 people that are meetingproject. Please feel most welcome to three to four times a year. Last meetingbecome involved! was in October; the next meeting willKaren Wetherell be in January or February in The– Director of Women’s Interests Hague at the home of one of the members. Some of them have joinedI am developing ways to assist the Fred Casey Jacquie Hegarty Kinship already.women of Kinship to be more connect- (Officer Services) (Communications) From October 21 to 25 we had oured to each other, to know each other 8th European Kinship Meeting inbetter, and to understand that every Saffron Walden, north of London. Ø 5

Board Meeting – Dreams & Visions connectionØ We had more than 20 participants We would like to introduce you to:from various European countries andvisitors from as far as Brazil, Kenya, Terre Price (right) went to Seventh-dayand the USA. We were blessed with Adventist elementary schools and a localthe presentations of an outstanding public high school. He earned his BS andspeaker. MBA at Texas A&M University. He spent summers in Kansas at his grandfather’s At this meeting we planned our farm. For many years Terre has workedlocations for several years of the for the FDIC. He has recently become anEuropean Kinship Meeting: ombudsman. When he is not working2010 – Belgium or the Netherlands; Terre enjoys reading and being with his2011 – Paris, France; friends and family. He says he loves2012 – Frankfurt, Germany; working and feeling like it makes a differ-2013 – Prague, Czech (?) s ence. Terre has been with his partner Marshall for 16 years. “He is a good Christian and very supportive. I also have great parents who volunteered to have Kinship meetings in their home. I have a totally accepting family. I have been a part of Kinship since the first Kampmeeting in Payson, Arizona. I got connected with the founding group through Errol Chalmers. The most important thing about Kinship is the future. I want those who follow us to be able to fully and safely express their whole being. The most im- portant thing about my spiritual walk today is my personal connection and relation- ship with the friends who can share with me.”Ruben López Floyd Pönitz Terry Rice spent his childhood and educational career in Collegedale, Tennessee, graduating with(Youth Interests) (Int.Growth & Devel.) a BA in Religious Education. He earned his MDiv at Andrews University. He is finishing up an intern-Catherine Taylor Linda Wright ship as a chaplain resident at the University of(Connection) (Webmaster) California in San Francisco. When he is not in school or working, Terry enjoys camping, racket Christian Bryan ball, holistic small groups, networking, hiking, (intersex/transgender) world travel, young adult ministries, singing groups, biking, advancing social justice issues, supporting contemporary Christian groups, and teaching, Terry’s parents emigrated from Australia to the United States. His father, mother, and step- father are educators. One brother is an educator and one is studying nursing. Terry wrote that the most important thing for him about Kinship is that “it offers me community with those who share the same LGBTI issues as I do. Kinship integrates my Adventist identity with other identities I embrace.” Christian Bryan attended a public elementary school and Golden Gate Academy in Oakland, California. “I work as a personal trainer now. I also had a mission post as a teacher for English as a second language and have worked as an office as- sistant. I enjoy being a personal trainer because I am passionate about exercise, particularly weight lifting. I enjoy cooking gourmet meals, baking, and traveling. I am just beginning a new relationship. I found Kinship by googling “gay Seventh- day Adventist” and Kinship popped up! It has been great for me to be part of a group of spiritually minded LGBTI Christians. I love the sense of community, fellow- ship, and keeping a Christian perspective. The most important thing for my spiritual journey today is to be true to myself and real with God and others. I live my life by the “Golden Rule” with the focus on loving God and my neighbor as I love myself. Being transsexual has helped me be more open-minded of other people and of their spiritual journey. s We can never live in the past as if it were our true home…. And it is a good thing that God draws this veil over the past even without our asking.In so doing, He allows us to live today for tomorrow with just the few memories we need of what was. - Karl Barth 6

connectionOver the weekend of October 15-17 a conferencecalled “Marriage, Homosexuality and the Church” was Theheld on the campus of Andrews University. This confer- theence was sponsored by several church organizations, Badparticularly the Religious Liberty Association, the Bibli- and thecal Research Institute, and the Seminary. Organizers Uglystated that the reason for the conference was twofold: toprovide a response to the book, Christianity and Homo-sexuality: Some Seventh-day Adventist Perspectives, Goodand to respond to those who were part of the groupAdventists Against Prop 8 (a voter initiative in Californiadesigned to repeal same-sex marriage). The conferencewas not intended to present a balanced view of the topicof homosexuality. It definitely lived up to that goal. Thepresenters included conservative scholars, several ofwhom were asked to write response chapters for thebook, but who declined the invitation.Dave Ferguson Let’s start with the Ugly. I actually expected more of the The Andrews administration refused to let the Seventh-ugly than there was. The most Ugly was not from an Gay Adventist team film any of the conference and sent aAdventist presenter, but from Dr. Robert Gagnon, associate warning out to students not to speak to anyone with aprofessor of New Testament at Pittsburg Theological camera. However, there were a number of people willing toSeminary. He is a Presbyterian and often presents the be interviewed.minority dissenting viewpoint about homosexuality at theirGeneral Assembly. In spite of the fact that he is a New Surprisingly, there were some good aspects to theTestament scholar, he drew very heavily on Old Testament conference. We were able to identify several facultyreferences, especially Leviticus, to declare that members who are prepared to provide safe places forhomosexuality is an abomination to God both for Jews and students who are gay on the AU campus. Because membersfor Christians. Those who were anxious to have someone of our group all wore pink carnations, we had a number ofsay what they wanted to hear loved his presentations, in people ask us why we were wearing the carnations. Theirspite of the fact that members of his own denomination do curiosity gave us opportunities for conversations.not agree with his views.The Bad included testimonies from someone who claims to I talked personally with several of the conferencehave changed his orientation and a man who claimed that he organizers. They indicated that while they felt it washas now been celibate for six months. The presentation from important for their segment of the church to respond toDr. Yarhouse, who was there to share research on Christianity and Homosexuality: Some Seventh-dayreparative therapy and who presented his views to the Adventist Perspectives, they only see this conference as aAmerican Psychological Association (APA) this past summer,must have been disappointing to many. He indicated that he first step. They agreed that we need to begin moreis not sure of anyone who has actually completely changed discussions and that future discussions should includefrom a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual one, though members of Kinship. If this happens, then the book and thishe does know there are some who have moved down the conference will become a valuable first step in creating thecontinuum and have become less homosexual and more dialogue we have been requesting with the denomination forfocused on becoming “Christlike.” many years. Let’s pray that that happens. s Reactions to Eden’s GiftsIn the September 2009 issue of the Connection we print- * From Malaysiaed an article about the Bible and the clobber texts. We Thank you for “Eden’s Gifts” in the September issue. It wasgot responses from three continents and thought we’d very helpful! I have forwarded the issue to all my MCC friendsshare some of them with you. in Malaysia. Keep up the good work! Hugs, Adam* From Tennessee * From NorwayCool stuff with your Connection article this month! It would I read with great interest what you presented in “Eden’sbe a great prompt for a group discussion. Maybe one of Gifts.” Historical research has shown that homosexuality hasthese days I'll be able to hang out with you guys again and not been regarded as unnatural in all times and places. I seechitchat about ideas like yours. Maybe during one of the it as part of God's creative idea, wanted and loved by thescheduled chats on the Kinship website we can dialogue Creator as much as heterosexuality. I think it is a uselessabout it. and perhaps harmful thought for gays and lesbians to look at them selves as not being of the original idea. Willy Lantz s 7

connection The I have made a decision. I will no longer debate the issue of homosexuality in the church with anyone. I will no longer engage the biblical ignorance that emanates from so many right-wing Christians about how the Bible condemns homosexuality, as if that point of view still has anyA.Manifesto Time credibility. I will no longer discuss with them or listen to them tell me how homosexuality is \"an abomination to God,\" about how homosexuality is a \"chosen lifestyle,\" or about how through prayer and \"spiritual counseling\" homosexual persons can be \"cured.\" Those arguments are no longer worthy of my time or energy. I will no Has longer dignify by listening to the thoughts of those who advocate \"reparative therapy,\" as if homosexual persons are somehow broken and need to be repaired. I will no longer talk to those who believe that the unity of the church can or should be achieved by rejecting the presence of, or at least at the expense of, gay and Come! lesbian people. I will no longer take the time to refute the unlearned and undocumentable claims of certain world religious leaders who call homosexuality \"deviant.\" John Shelby Spong I will no longer listen to that longer seek to slow down the witness to inclusiveness bypious sentimentality that certain pretending that there is some middle ground between preju-Christian leaders continue to dice and oppression. There isn't. Justice postponed is justiceemploy, which suggests some denied. That can be a resting place no longer for anyone. Anversion of that strange and old civil rights song proclaimed that the only choice awaitingovertly dishonest phrase that those who cannot adjust to a new understanding was to \"Roll\"we love the sinner but hate the on over or we'll roll on over you!\" Time waits for no one.sin.\" That statement is, I haveconcluded, nothing more than a 8self-serving lie designed tocover the fact that these peoplehate homosexual persons andfear homosexuality itself, butsomehow know that hatred isincompatible with the Christthey claim to profess, so theyadopt this face-saving andabsolutely false statement. I willno longer temper my under-standing of truth in order topretend that I have even a tinysmidgen of respect for theappalling negativity that contin-ues to emanate from religiouscircles where the church hasfor centuries conveniently per-fumed its ongoing prejudicesagainst blacks, Jews, womenand homosexual persons withwhat it assumes is \"high-sounding, pious rhetoric.\" The dayfor that mentality has quite simply come to an end for me. Iwill personally neither tolerate it nor listen to it any longer.The world has moved on, leaving these elements of theChristian Church that cannot adjust to new knowledge or anew consciousness lost in a sea of their own irrelevance.They no longer talk to anyone but themselves. I will no

connectionI will particularly ignore those members of my own the state and pronounced holy by the church. \"Don't ask,Episcopal Church who seek to break away from this body to don't tell\" will be dismantled as the policy of our armedform a \"new church,\" claiming that this new and bigoted forces. We will and we must learn that equality of citizenshipinstrument alone now represents the Anglican Communion. is not something that should ever be submitted to aSuch a new ecclesiastical body is designed to allow these referendum. Equality under and before the law is a solemnpathetic human beings, who are so deeply locked into a promise conveyed to all our citizens in the Constitution itself.world that no longer exists, to form a community in which Can any of us imagine having a public referendum onthey can continue to hate gay people, distort gay people with whether slavery should continue, whether segregationtheir hopeless rhetoric and to be part of a religious fellowship should be dismantled, whether voting privileges should bein which they can continue to feel justified in their offered to women? The time has come for politicians to stophomophobic prejudices for the rest of their tortured lives. hiding behind unjust laws that they themselves helped toChurch unity can never be a virtue that is preserved by enact, and to abandon that convenient shield of demandingallowing injustice, oppression and psychological tyranny to a vote on the rights of full citizenship because they do notgo unchallenged. understand the difference between a constitutionalIn my personal life, I will no longer listen to televised democracy, which this nation has, and a \"mobocracy,\" whichdebates conducted by \"fair-minded\" channels that seek to this nation rejected when it adopted its constitution. We dogive \"both sides\" of this issue \"equal time.\" I am aware that not put the civil rights of a minority to the vote of a plebiscite.these stations no longer give equal time to the advocates of I will also no longer act as if I need a majority vote oftreating women as if they are the property of men or to the some ecclesiastical body in order to bless, ordain, recognizeadvocates of reinstating either segregation or slavery, and celebrate the lives and gifts of gay and lesbian people indespite the fact that when these evil institutions were coming the life of the church. No one should ever again be forced toto an end the Bible was still being quoted frequently on each submit the privilege of citizenship in this nation orof these subjects. It is time for the media to announce that membership in the Christian Church to the will of a majoritythere are no longer two sides to the issue of full humanity for vote.gay and lesbian people. There is no way that justice for The battle in both our culture and our church to rid ourhomosexual people can be compromised any longer. souls of this dying prejudice is finished. A newI will no longer act as if the Papal office is to be respected consciousness has arisen. A decision has quite clearly beenif the present occupant of that office is either not willing or made. Inequality for gay and lesbian people is no longer anot able to inform and educate himself on public issues on debatable issue in either church or state.which he dares to speak with embarrassing ineptitude. I will Therefore, I will from this moment on refuse to dignify theno longer be respectful of the leadership of the Archbishop of continued public expression of ignorant prejudice byCanterbury, who seems to believe that rude behavior, engaging it. I do not tolerate racism or sexism any longer.intolerance and even killing prejudice is somehow From this moment on, I will no longer tolerate our culture'sacceptable, so long as it comes from third-world religious various forms of homophobia. I do not care who it is wholeaders, who more than anything else reveal in themselves articulates these attitudes or who tries to make them soundthe price that colonial oppression has required of the minds holy with religious jargon.and hearts of so many of our world's population. I see no I have been part of this debate for years, but things do getway that ignorance and truth can be placed side by side, nor settled and this issue is now settled for me. I do not debatedo I believe that evil is somehow less evil if the Bible is any longer with members of the \"Flat Earth Society\" either. Iquoted to justify it. I will dismiss as unworthy of any more of do not debate with people who think we should treat epilepsymy attention the wild, false and uninformed opinions of such by casting demons out of the epileptic person; I do not wastewould-be religious leaders as Pat Robertson, James time engaging those medical opinions that suggest thatDobson, Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart, Albert Mohler, and bleeding the patient might release the infection. I do notRobert Duncan. My country and my church have both converse with people who think that Hurricane Katrina hitalready spent too much time, energy and money trying to New Orleans as punishment for the sin of being the birth-accommodate these backward points of view when they are place of Ellen DeGeneres or that the terrorists hit the Unitedno longer even tolerable. Sates on 9/11 because we tolerated homosexual people, abortions, feminism or the American Civil Liberties Union. I… it is time to move on. am tired of being embarrassed by so much of my church's participation in causes that are quite unworthy of the Christ I serve or the God whose mystery and wonder I appreciate more each day. Indeed I feel the Christian Church should not I make these statements because it is time to move on. only apologize, but do public penance for the way we haveThe battle is over. The victory has been won. There is no treated people of color, women, adherents of other religionsreasonable doubt as to what the final outcome of this and those we designated heretics, as well as gay andstruggle will be. Homosexual people will be accepted as lesbian people.equal, full human beings, who have a legitimate claim onevery right that both church and society have to offer any of Life moves on. As the poet James Russell Lowell onceus. Homosexual marriages will become legal, recognized by put it more than a century ago: \"New occasions teach new duties, Time makes ancient good uncouth.\" I am ready now to claim the victory. I will from now on assume it and live Ø 9

connectioninto it. I am unwilling to argue about it or to discuss it as if Seventh-Gaythere are two equally valid, competing positions any longer.The day for that mentality has simply gone forever. Adventists This is my manifesto and my creed. I proclaim it today. Iinvite others to join me in this public declaration. I believe In the previous Connection I intro-that such a public outpouring will help cleanse both the duced you to our reasons and somechurch and this nation of its own distorting past. It will restore of our goals for making this film. Ifintegrity and honor to both church and state. you missed our article, please feel free to access our website, www.sgamovie.com, to… a new day has dawned … understand our goals and our reasons for making this film. Stephen, Lily, and I have begun a three-month filming tour of the United States You can track our travels if you access us on Facebook, but here are a few It will signal that a new day has dawned and we are ready notes from my electronic journal so you can “track” us.not just to embrace it, but also to rejoice in it and to celebrate Daneen Akersit. s Sept. 20: We're leaving today on a 3-month, 10,000-mile production trip to document the stories of LGBT adventists across the U.S. Want to help make this film happen? We need prayers, funds, and introductions to LGBTI adventists (current or former) who might want to participate. Check out www.SGAmovie.com and our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Seventh-Gay-Adventists/ 108723178221?ref=ts. Sept. 28: Filmed MarchFourth Mardi Gras marching band at Tour de Fat in Golden Gate Park yesterday. Sept. 30: We interviewed a 91-year-old, life-long Adventist in Portland today whose son was married for 25 years before he finally came out. She expressed how deeply she cares for him and explained the importance of parents in the church showing unconditional love for their children. Oct. 2: Portland: You rock! We had a great experience: genuine, The person who says it cannot be honest, and inspiring conversations (on and off camera), done should not interrupt the great Lily care, and a very helpful donation to the film. person who is doing it. - Chinese proverb Oct. 13: On our way to Andrews University. If you know of anyone in the Berrien Springs/greater Chicago area who would like to be a part of this project, Daneen Akers Oct. 12: please spread the word. What a great experience in Lincoln,Oct. 6: Oct. 14: It's 23 degrees in Missoula, NE. We got some incredible, very Whew! Thank you, Anita in Iowa, for moving footage and met some incredi-Montana... thinking that we should not ble, very moving people. It did snow— saving our bacon, er, Stripples. Wehave packed in a San Diego heat seems to be our modus operandi. J came really, really close to running outwave! Many thanks to the brave souls My heart aches for the individuals we of gas!who talked to us in Walla Walla. We talked to who want nothing more thanshould be in Lincoln [Nebraska]--if we to be a part of the church they love: Oct. 15:don't freeze--by the weekend. haystacks, Rook, and that Sabbath Seventh-Gay Adventists is on the morning rhythm. front page of the Journal Star a Nebraska paper, today: http://journalstar.com/news/local/article _d7eacb8c-b914-11de-9de1- 001cc4c002e0.html s 10

Adventists on marriage connection day Adventist Church, or is an employee of the denomination, must be willing to limitThe following statement provided by the sexuality violates natural relations as sexual behavior within sacred matrimonyAdventist Church was published on Oct. 15, ordained by our Creator (e.g., Romans between a man and a woman.” s2009, with the article in the Lincoln Journal 1:22-28). Thus we could not honor theStar about the documentary film underway Scriptures while also supporting homo- Statement from Roscoe J. Howard III,about gay Adventists: sexual conduct. Since God’s grace reaches president of the Mid-America Union out to everyone, homosexuals are welcome“Seventh-day Adventists are committed to to find fellowship and healing in attending Conference of Seventh-day Adventists.traditional marriage between a man and a Adventist worship services. But anyonewoman as a legacy of our Judeo-Christian who becomes a member of the Seventh-heritage. The Bible makes clear that homo-Filmmakers hear about the struggle to match church, sexuality Cindy Lange-Kubick, Adventists worship on Saturdays. They don't eat meat. Their from the Lincoln Journal Star children attend SDA schools and colleges. They gather at camp meetings. Become close as a community.The filmmakers want to crack open your heart. Robb Crouch misses all that.So that even if you've heard -- or you think you've heard --everything you need to hear about being Christian and being The 39-year-old Lincoln man heard about the filmmakersgay, about feeling unwelcome in a church pew, you will be through an advocacy group for gay, lesbian, bisexual andwilling to open your heart. transgendered adventists called Kinship.To listen again. And on Saturday, he sat down to tell Daneen and Stephen his story.\"We're deep believers in the power of hearing someone'sstory,\" Daneen Akers says. He told them about struggling with depression after he came out in 1997. About his fears of losing his family and his job.Daneen is a new mom and a former English teacher. Nowshe makes documentaries with her husband, Stephen Eyer. And his desire to change the church he grew up in -- and misses.The California couple made a movie about fibromyalgia afew years ago. \"It was really amazing to know that Daneen and Steve and the company behind them are interested in giving ourNow they're traveling the country for three months, gathering community -- gay adventists -- a voice,\" Robb said a fewstories for a second film -- a documentary with an irreverent days after his interview with the filmmakers.title about a serious subject. \"It will enable us to share who we are with a largerThey're calling it \"Seventh-gay Adventists: A film about love, audience.\"sex, and eternal life.\" In Lincoln, the filmmakers stayed with the mother of a gayThey stayed in Lincoln last weekend with their baby, Lily, man, a woman who spent years feeling alone with herand their video equipment. secret.And while they were here, people told the filmmakers what They interviewed local SDA faculty members. They talked toit's like to love a church. gay church members and to gay students still not ready to come out.And not feel loved back. A theme has emerged from all of their interviews here andThe Seventh-day Adventist Church takes an official position across the country.on homosexuality. It's a-love-the-sinner-hate-the-sin position,the couple says. Not so different from positions some other \"Everybody said they prayed mightily to be changed,\"denominations take. Daneen says. \"They knew how hard it would be for their families and their churches.\"Not as damning as some others. And they couldn't make sense of the notion of love theSo why single it out? sinner, hate the sin, because that was who they were -- theBecause Daneen and Stephen grew up in the Seventh-day way God, it seemed, had seen fit to make them.Adventist Church and taught in Seventh-day Adventistschools. Both had grandfathers who were SDA pastors. \"You can't believe that God rejects part of you without feeling damaged,\" says Daneen. \"It affects you in profound ways.\"Adventist is what they know. So they filmed gay adventists talking about attemptingIt's a culture, almost an ethnicity, Daneen says. suicide, about feeling alone and alienated.The church and its members proudly stand apart. \"Struggling so hard to reconcile their faith with their Ø 11

connectionStruggle to match church, homosexuality She sat across from a gay man last weekend, and listened toØ sexuality,\" Stephen says. him talk. It's not about sex, he said. It's about love.\"They just want understanding within the church and \"He longingly misses his church. He aches for his church.\"compassion.\"That's what they hope the film accomplishes. Change in the His heart cracked open long ago. schurch. Change in people who see their gay friends and Cindy Lang-Kubick is a columnist in Lincoln, Nebraska.neighbors telling their stories. This article is copyrighted and was reprinted with permissionIn making their documentaries, Stephen does most of the from the Lincoln Journal Star.camera work. Daneen asks questions.s Kinship s News s Kinship s News s Kinship s News sUS Region 1 & Region 2 – Catherine Taylor Malaysia – Adam Lee Both regions would like to invite any of you from any Adam is working within the supportive communitiesregion to join us for First Night (New Year's Eve) in historic available where he lives to care for LGBTI Adventists andWilliamsburg. We will be having dinner at a colonial inn and other Christians. Here is an event that happened thisspending the rest of the evening seeing some of the remark- summer. [www.othersheepexecsite.com/Asia_2009_able acts and presentation that are all part of bringing in the Index_Malaysia_Parelli_Ortiz.html].Southern New Year. We will be reserving rooms at grouprates at a local inn. Our plan is to spend New Year's Day Here is a site about conferences exposing the ex-gayseeing the local sights and having Sabbath worship together. movement: [www.othersheepexecsite.com/Asia_2009_For more information you can contact Yolanda at Malaysia_Ex-gay_seminar_Good_Samaritan_MCC_Kuala_[[email protected]] or Catherine at Lumpur_Other_Sheep.html].[[email protected]]. Kinship Women – Karen Wetherell We're looking forward to seeing you there! On October 24, for the first time,US Region 2 – Yolanda Elliot women in the US were able to connect to During the National Equality March™ (October 11, 2009) women in Europe at our weekly chat. The European women were attending thefor LGBTI people, Yolanda was interviewed by “The Daily European Kinship Meeting and searched until they foundShow.” You can access her talk at: [www.thedailyshow.com/ Internet access in the basement of a newspaper shop inwatch/tue-october-13-2009/queer-and-loathing-in-d-c- Cambridge, England.radical-gay-agenda]. Our October women’s dinner was in Knoxville,US Region 7 – Stephanie Spencer Tennessee. Keep an eye out for this month’s dinners in We are developing a survey to be mailed to all members different parts of the United States. We will publicize them in the November eNews, on KinNet, and by US mail.in our region. This survey will give us a better idea of theirneeds and wants. I have had some lovely chats via e-mail Kampmeeting 2010that fill my soul. SDA Kinship Kampmeeting 2010 will be happening in I will be calling all members in Region 7, both active and Atlanta, Georgia, USA, on July 21-25, 2010. We will beinactive, to introduce the chapter leaders in our region. enjoying the beauty of the Emory Conference Center, withGerald coordinates the chapter in Portland, OR. Marcus lots of amenities, including complimentary parking, freecoordinates the chapter in Seattle area, and Cate and Page wireless internet in public areas, a health club, an indoorhave the chapter in Eastern WA area. Please feel free to pool, and a bowling alley! The theme for this year’scontact anyone of us if you have comments, or questions. conference is, “We still have a dream...” and our motto willYou can reach us at [[email protected]]. We look for- be, “We will not rest until justice rolls down like waters andward to meeting you all soon. We invite you to log onto the righteousness like a mighty stream.” We are planning aSDA Kinship website and update your profile so we know the spectacular program that will include special presentationsbest way to reach you. We’re looking forward to seeing you about justice and freedom for all God's children. You won'tsoon! want to miss any of it! Start planning now to attend Kinship Kampmeeting 2010. It isn't too late to start a Kampmeeting I have learned through bitter experience the one Klub account to put aside money for your attendance fees! supreme lesson: to conserve my anger, and as heat You can download the Kampmeeting Klub application at conserved is transmitted into energy, even so our [www.sdakinship.net/sdakinship/files/km_klub_form.pdf] and anger controlled can be transmitted into a power... then complete it and mail it to the Kinship Office. See you in Atlanta! s - Mahatma Gandhi 12

connectionHow to Log in to KOL (Kinship OnLine) Floyd Pönitz and Ruben López The chat room is open and ready for will be notified by email and/or on chatters to connect with each other. A KinNet). A password will be sent to all The Kinship website—and particu- few weeks ago, the women scheduled women; and if you don't get one, checklarly the members-only section (called their first chat on the new site, and the with Linda (or us) and we'll get one toKOL for Kinship OnLine)—is improving load was so great that the server you so you can join in the fun.daily! crashed. That isn't a good thing, but it is good to know so we can get it fixed. The first step in joining in all the fun For now we need to start testing the There was another women-only chat is to log in. If you have never loggedsite for usability and what kind of load it the Sabbath after that, using a different on, or if you logged on and forget yourwill handle. So we need you to log on chat system, and it worked beautifully! password or your username, don't fret.whenever you are online and sitting at So if you are a woman, please join in This new system will remind you of it.the computer, or even if you are logged the scheduled chats (Kinship women Just go to www.sdakinship.org.on and not sitting in front of thecomputer. Click on the blue button in the middle of the screen and it will take you to the Kinship website. Once you see the main Kinship page, look at the top right side of your screen. There you will fill in your username (the same one you use on KinNet) and your password (probably NOT the same one you use on KinNet). Then click the green icon. If this is your first time, or if you forgot your password that was emailed to you, click on the yellow key and question mark (?) icon and you will be taken to a page to fill out. Tell it what you forgot (username, password, or both), and fill in your email address that you have on file with Kinship and fill in the security code shown on the page as instructed. Then immediately check your email inbox for an email with a temporary password. If it isn't in your inbox, check your spam folder as it often it ends up in there. Use the new password to log on Well, that should be enough to If you have any questions, just get you started. We'd strongly rec- let us know; and we’ll see you all(fill in your username and your tem- ommend that you save this article online soon! s for future reference until you areporary password and then click on familiar with logging in. More info Contact Floyd atthe green lock icon). In some in- will be in upcoming Connection [email protected] issues and Kinship eNews. We wantstances you may have to do this Contact Ruben at as many folks as possible to start [email protected] (yes, that is a bug that is being logging in to our/your website:worked out). Once you are on, it will www.sdakinship.org. Let's make it a site we are proud of!automatically take you to theKinship OnLine Members Areapage, and at the top where the logininfo was, it now says\"Hi [Your Name].\" 13

connectionBreaking Down the Walls Eighteen members attended last weekend! This was the largest group we have ever had. Our meetings were wonderful. We had many new attendees. Here are a few thanks for the effort people put in. “Thank you for the welcome and I thoroughly enjoyed my time at the Kinship meeting this year. Looking forward to more meetings in the future.” —from a New Zealand member. “Hi Noel, Thanks for organising the weekend.” —Patty, Women's Coordinator, Kinship Australia.“Thank you. I would like to thank you—the meeting has given me hope. Yes, I will be back next year.” Our main speaker was Bronwyn Reid. Shewas born in Sydney and brought up as aCatholic. She spent her early childhood in KingsCross where her mother Peggy ran the MetroMinerva Theatre and was a loyal friend of manyin the gay community. Her father Johnny Reidspent 40 years working in Kings Cross for theunderprivileged and homeless as well as run-ning illegal gambling casinos, where he gotBronwyn her first job as a croupier. Both parentsgave her a lifelong legacy of concern for socialjustice and a genuine care for those on the\"outer fringes.” After leaving her Catholic Convent school, Bronwyn travelled in South East Asia and, on returning to Australia, moved into the inner city squats in Darling- hurst, where her first son Benjamin was born. After searching for meaning and purpose in the counter culture and arts community, and protesting with Greenpeace to stop the whaling indus- try, she longed for a deeper understanding of the \"bigger picture.” She read the New Testament and discovered that Jesus is who He said He was and the One for whom she’d been looking. Bronwyn walked into Woollahra Seventh-day Adventist church and joined a Bible study class in Old Testament and New Testament History. She was baptized in 1980. In 1983 she moved to Avondale College and completed her first teaching degree. Bronwyn taught English in the Highlands of PNG and returned to Avondale to complete a second teaching degree. She married Stephen Koncz in 1987 and had two more children, Jordan and Jessica. After studies at Avondale, Bronwyn worked as an HIV/AIDS Educator in Hunter Region during the late 80s to stop both the spread of the virus and the homophobia that was virulent at that time. She then worked for two major New South Wales Health Services as Director for PR, Market- ing and Fundraising, and raised over a million dollars for Gosford Hospital Children's Ward. Bronwyn completed an MA in Theology at La Sierra in the United States and trained over 350 clergy from alldenominations to effectively deal with domestic violence in their churches. Shecompleted her degree in Relationship Counseling in 2000 and has been in privatepractice working in the Central Coast / Hunter Region. Bronwyn loves to sing anddance. Her focus in life is “To comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.” s June and Glen; Sabbath morning music on viola and piano 14

connection connection▼The Book and the Beach The Newsletter of Seventh-day Adventist Kinship International, Inc. Catherine Taylor Editor : Catherine Taylor September 25-27 This mini-Kampmeeting Circulation : Fred Casey in Nags Head, North European editor : Ruud Kieboom Carolina, was developed to give people a chance to Photography : Karen Wetherell, Pearl discuss some of the ques- tions or issues raised in Pangkey, Ivan van Putten various chapters of Christ- ianity and Homosexuality: Production : Ruud Kieboom Some Seventh-day Advent-ist Perspectives. We gathered from as far away as Boston, MA, and Proofing : Jacquie Hegarty,Macon, GA. Half our group had never attended a Kinship event before.We spent the weekend walking the beaches, singing (what a group!), Floyd Pönitz, Carrol Gradychallenging the waves, and, of course, talking. We cooked, ate, andcleaned up family style. Everyone pitched in. One of my favorite Yolanda Elliottmemories was a group discussion/process of how to use the barbe-que grills with cooking chicken. It took so long Ronaldo started Printing : Doolittle's PrintServepracticing his operatic scales downstairs. We ate at 8:00 PM insteadthe expected two hours earlier, but it may always be a memory that The Connection is published by Seventh-daybrings a smile to my face. We wanted to share with you some of our comments and thoughts Adventist Kinship International, Inc.on just one of the questions we discussed. You can get a sense of PO Box 69, Tillamook, OR 97141. Sub-how our conversations traveled. missions are welcome and may be directed to the editor at [email protected] Where did the Seventh- or mailed to the principal office address day Adventist involvement above. Include your name as you want it with change ministries go published along with your address and wrong? Where did the telephone number(s). If an item is to be change ministries go acknowledged or returned, please include a wrong? self-addressed stamped envelope. Some Connection contributors have chosen to The person heading it remain anonymous or use pseudonyms. [Quest] was a predator. He The Connection reserves the right to edit abused people who were desperate enough to try his manuscripts for length, syntax, grammar, and program. The church didn’t clarity. do any research to see if The mention or appearance of any names,changing orientation is actually a possibility. They gave carte blanche organizations, or photographs in thisto spend the money to change us but didn’t come up with any publication is not meant to imply a fact orprocedures on how it would be done. statement about sexual orientation or activity. One of the people that was in charge wasn’t affiliated with anyparticular Adventist group to evaluate his program and so it turned out Subscription requests or address changesto be a “house of horrors.” People were giving money but weren’tlooking out how the money was being used. may be sent to Subscriptions, PO Box 69, Tillamook, OR 97141 or emailed to office@ First of all, by thinking we could change, by making sdakinship.org. The Kinship mailing list is incorrect assumptions about gay people. confidential and used only by Kinship officers. The mailing list is not sold, rented, or ex- “This thinking affected how my family treated me. changed for any purpose. To escape, I left home at 15 to live with my aunt. I never © 2009 SDA Kinship International, Inc. lost my faith even though my All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or family didn’t think I was in part without permission is prohibited. doing right. At least I am Opinions expressed herein are not necessari- happy and healthy which is more important.” Ø ly those of SDA Kinship International, Inc. 15 Member of the Gay and Lesbian Press Association.

“I think the church went wrong be- connection timeline and don’t have a grasp of thecause it didn’t/doesn’t understand the issues yet.”character of God. God likes diversity. being human, too. Now I can say I doThe clobber texts were about the not care if you don’t accept me. I have “My family went to church. One dayabuse of power, not consensual rela- been blessed by God because I am my daughter, maybe 6, came runningtionships.” gay.” in the house with a friend. She said get the Bible and show them where they’re “Many of us prayed to be straight “I want to live in an environment wrong. The Adventist church I went toand God said “NO.” If He says no, where, when I wake up, I can do what I was arrogant. I think Satan causes themaybe there is a reason for that feel like doing without having to res- arrogance. Satan’s people can getanswer. We, as a group, have to stand pond to anyone. I want to be me, not people to hate homos and get peopleup and tell the church that the way we live my life on someone else’s restrict- to hate themselves. I got angry whenare being treated is abusive. It would tions.” people told me I could not go to churchbe against God’s plan for us to be or couldn’t have God anymore.”silent. I didn’t think of God as my per- “I wonder if we really know how tosonal friend. I didn’t protest because I raise a God-fearing child – or if we “Now I know in part, and I will growdidn’t think I had a right to.” even know how to raise a child proper- to know more fully.” ly. We are imperfect. I grew up with “I like the thought about the char- misconceptions. I used to hear that I “I think I allowed the evangelicalacter of God. I/we often spend more couldn’t go to movies because my conservatives to keep me out oftime emphasizing fear of God rather guardian angel can’t go with me. Then I church. I have just now decided tothan the love of God. This sort of nega- was told ‘anywhere with Jesus I can change that!”tive energy affects how the doctrines safely go.’ Which one is right? I thinkare presented and the way members kids need to hear that no matter who “It’s wrong for me to allow you totreat each.” you are or become, I still love you. That treat me as inferior. I don’t see myself helps to make life so much easier.” as being inferior to anyone. I can affect “I think it has helped to be part of a more change from within. That’s theblack community that has dealt with “I never experienced the horror way I look at my church. I think it’sblack liberation. I go to the New York stories I hear others tell. Maybe that is good that they see someone who isCity Forum. Someone said there that, why I still go to church. I have a family gay and still positive for Christ. Godin the midst of everything, maybe we that is very, very supportive of me. says He will not put more on me then Iare all connected universally towards When I was partnered they accepted can bear because He is there bearing itsomething better. I hope this is the him and were warm to him. For me, as with me. I can get through anything. Icase.” long as I have the support of my family, don’t know if that makes me a I don’t need anyone else to support springboard, that I’ll always bounce “I pray to God for a Christian part- me. When I was introduced to Kinship, back, but sometimes I feel that way.ner. I used to be depressed, shy, and I found a whole new family to support This is my mission.” sdidn’t want to talk about my situation me. I believe God made me this waywith anyone. Living in NY helps me to and He did it for a reason. Connectionslive more open. I can say yes I am gay,but I am many other things that go into “The whole idea of fear drove me away from the church.” “Twelve-step programs teach us to be humble. We learn to understand that we do not have all the answers and “Who am I to tell you how to live your life?” Ben Kemena’s chapter talked about the timeline of what we have learned about homosexuality. On Alfred Kinsey’s scale there is a lot of varia- bility. We live a very complex world. I remember hearing how we were con- sidered mentally ill. When I’m confront- ed by uptight heterosexuals, I think they are just back on the educational 16