SDA Kinship - CONNECTION - January 1994

SONNf,STION The Carin1 Oturch? The Seventh-baq Abventist Church arb lt's llomosexyal Metnbers

'g.ffi\" ffi, Whowgarg,rr :;;:;,1:79;;;51$;;y,,$$4;.:,;;1V4ft ;lt$l1N$,tt.ll: : : : Seventh-day Adventist Kinship current Iist of menrbers and fiiends inclucles t,,...:,:: C. o:n',i.e.. ct tIior Staft International. Inc. is a support group *,hich r,''ellover a thousand people in l6 countries. '. ministers to the spiritual, ernotional, social. S.D.A. Kin-chip L-.clieves the Bible does fdit#: enarew Suong :.. :. and physical rvell being of Seventh-dar nilt c,,n.le;ttn. c\\ en ITICItlirrn, Contriburoii: P.aer F: Muefldq. Bob L,ee; Adventist lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, homoscrualrt\\ i1: a .erull or-ientation. Ellen G. \\\\-hite Jtrer nir.t ptr-3llei lnr i,lthe rackle sumr,ninon,I* st,,ffalcntr. and their families and friends. Bible text:. u hrch .rre .:tr-n ur:J t,r cOndemn homoserual.. i,, nail )i!.'-''..:'. David Rodgefi, Heidi,Jotuson\" KUn S.D.A. Kinship facilitates and promotes Most ol the an-guish rmpL.:eJ u: -: !, - . \" C, illle'n'.,,J...,T:\",.'A\".,m,.o:.l:d:::, \" ::: the understanding and affirmation of children who gro* up _ga\\ r\\r l:.1,1*: :-,- homosexual and bisexual Adventists its roots in a misunderstandins of u har ih: : r.r among themselves and within the Seventh- day Adventist community through Bible says. ' :: ',.fte::side:,n:':,t:l,.,Kb. ai,.n,r. isr h.O.\"iu4l..s..B'o':o:n.:a.::,,r:-:d:.';,'..:,,.,.,:,,',:,',.,,,..; education, advocacy, and reconciliation. S.D.A. Kinship is a nonprofit Viqe Pregident: Jackie Sumrnerton . or-canization which supports the .Secietary, Deryll Shiirrod :. Founded in 1976. the orgunization was t-Treasurers': Brad incorporated in I 98 I and has a board ol I 4 advancement of human ri ghts tirr al I people. MirU\" nio*a offlcers and 10 regional coordinators. The C i in e a i o* Edilor: Anilrew Stron g Public Relations:,,Nikki Pulissin ChuqCh,L!,a-ison: Roii Law5on Lookfor these articles in February's Connection: Womynrs Coo:dinaioi: Vaneiia Hatcher The conclusion of \"The Carin-s Church l' : Kamp.rneetin$ Cooiai naroj: :lotu Sarn ' What happened to Quest tbLrnder Colin CtrLrk ' How the Adventist church is prescntl\\ trr'ltinr CL,rrk Cgqqunity Building: Karii Cnnan ' How Adventist high schools. colleg.-s .in.i theri- :rudL-nis ilrL- \\'l]1on1y. Outreach: Reggie'Wiliiams reacting to homosexualin' euiideii Support: Sherri Babcock: *l[Sisti€,S rn utr€ei: ' The results ol the SDA Church r'. Kin:hip ilrr.lrl :Mc a-u, lin,:::: :,:, l-.eeHIVIAI,DS:Ministry; Bob \"FIow I Feel About Gays\" A group of letters rtritten hr h.t.'r',..crLnil Scventh- ffi ipil tmliffi : day Adventists revealing their clrasticallr varr rng pcr--eP1i1,11' rri irrrnrrr:erualit). ti ::,,:,,, 1r;,,|;'';',: .tii;;. ...t,...:1|,, ii2l$H{i307 :,.,..,ir,D_S,,5ffi SXf ;ll?*2:,.'. i.HgtliilA{iS00ru4;Gfi rY,$ts*,,,,, CONNECnOIi' x pubtishcd kq tims d )ptr bt, Seuenrh,day-Adveirtiit:Kimtrip Irem:rtiml. trc. Princ-ipal offtie: P. O. Box 38ri0, Loi Angetes. Crlifmia 900?8. U S.:iubssipdmi m $25 ioi ten ssu*. md,$ 5 fo1 addiriond dubdqdp$oos. F*rign I ::- m $35, :: , ,, . iub*iipriotc is,rtr:ru,rsrqffi rgti:f,{,+Enir:xiia19ii:,p}au{fi rlrtr:,?ud::: ry$listrC w,:tryqli Inal*d.elmirraffi s you.rlan ;$,:E$t$sttgf ;,;114rus;tr#:*rrepMlErht*hseij,rrr: lmtit iGmilb be,rcry.wtud'EiAbrreniiiiild\" plffi e irclude isclf.id&essetl m.pedcavetme. Some Crriril'iirr'a cnnui britots,.have iigomn m..'iCiruln rqonymbsr ;P*uaoi1q,l-!qqr rhid.isirr appfE. a rh<i boffi hf ttil.pirge,I-ft fpmrcaai''rlservCs rhe Eght m edir :n?4r$f,.fi$ r:di68r,mkliilscilolioi i$yto{s$Urir,B.Cli!r4n:nwr+;t;;,rm,Pg.O$:l#Bi!fro,:,i]' Addrcssalt Ar+TY-qylllc :6d. aebffio;. lL6225/ tr til 6'i8.531-84i1 arm-: ::: ::: ;.:'.-. tli mmrion m.appermie of any iiimcr. ogmiirtions. or phmigiaphr ir thii publiiad'oir .ii not meeol.to imply a.fart in miCmi about rfeii *irhl oiienudm u.iifliyiry. : . Suhrtipron'mqu*tr ot addrcss.chmgs muff be eor qo Subrriiximi.'P,O. Box:3840. bi AngelCi. Califtwla,90078, Thi Ki6h+.ma'rlidg ti6r. is confldartial md miJ ody:bt Kimhip offiti;. Tbi: : miiting'iGt.ir'noi s,itd::l:Fgrd. tr,9i9hugcd for my puiots: r,:: , .-.:.1 RESE@RV!E9D2.4ReEOPENONDEU-CerI.rOo,NN..,i.t.':tAlVL!u::ORrrIOoHn rus rPART yqHqql fq!ryssroN rs pRoHrBmiD. Region J jspl$!,9fi$,irr. Esi$f,.p; ;,IIEeEIln irABE1 :;NqT: : : John Sam (7 I 8) 856-9773 NECESSARI'Y THbSE.:OF S.D.A. KINSHIP: Region 2 Heidi Johnson (301 ) 946-02S5 rs(},:E$Eqg-,,qr{I$,1!*EsrgTf.s,,,g1LE4-D,:Eg+,,, OF SEVEi{IH.DAY, ADVENTIST, KTNSHIP Region 3 Nia:: nrpnuAno\\{!, iNc.,MY. AFoLCrcrEs roR Erik N'lann (,104) 633-8'117 A]IY SRIEF'LAST MONTT!, LIN. ,, Rerion S ,: ::,: Region 4 Drr id Lcmon t 209 ) +11 -6191 Gary Stebbeds (7 I 5) 419 -1221 ;;;ffi,+t{.;tE*iiait..qry1 Region 9 ]:iiiirir: :r:::rillirlts+t,iittion:::iii:i ;, : Region 5 Bruce Boyd (81 8) 708'7-1.18 Floyd Pocnitz (2 I 4)701 -1791 : ,t####]#:*$r#::ifi ##a* Region 1 0 Cierald Alex (6 I 3 ) 23,1-055 5 2 Connection

Kampmeeting 1994 info meeting rooms and recreational Holiday Hills Conference Center is The 1994 Kampnreeting will be held at facilities. Overlooking a beautiful lake, located 70 miles out of New York City. the Holiday Hills Conference Center in the YMCA-operated center provides Parvling, New York. The July 24-31 private baths, air conditioning, color More details will follow in upcoming meetings will cost $55/person per day televisions and radios in every room. For those attending only day meetings, Connections. clouble occupancy. Single occupancy is thefee is $ lO/person perday. Individual Board meeting reminder Xi70. This includes all three meals. meals range between $5-$12. All flights \"coff'ee breaks\". and the use of all should be made into Stewart Airport, The annual mid-year Kinship board which receives most major airlines. The meeting will be held on theweekendof Update from pain of theirspouses and children. Addtothatthe number the brothers, sisters, relatives, and friends who may Adventist suspect the secret, but say nothing. Even ifhomosexuals are a hidden, and often forgotten, minority in our churches, support group the issue still directly concerns us all. 'l\\{onr. Dad. I have something to tell you. I'm gay. . . \" Or, Recently in one small Canadian Adventist church, \"Ken, I'nr sorry I c:an't marry you, but you rvill always be there were 25 members in attendance at Sabbath School when homosexuality was discussed as a sin. Through rnv best ll'iend. I'm a lesbian!\" Or, \"Mom, Dad. I have tears and anger, it was disclosed that five families had something I rvant to tell you. I have AIDS and I'nt gay.\" sons who were gay, two had lesbian daughters, one man's These are c:xample's of some of the statements that best friend was HIV positive and one sister's brother had l lim ilies lrnd fiiends are receiving. It can happen to an1, of recently died from AIDS. This church also had a tus. antl it lras happened to thousancls ol tanr ilies and lriends u.'lio neve r cxpccted it to happen to thenr. homophobic pastor that no one would go to for help. Not one member in this parish realized the pain that the other Appr-oximltely nine years ago, \\ve started to help members were going through. Where is our \"Caring people who hacl AIDS. We soon found ourselves involved Church\"'l ri'ith the prrrentsof gay children. Ourtirstexperience was w'herr we got to know a couple fronr New Westniinster Our church is built on the teachings of Christ and His w hose son had AIDS. 'fheir son did not tell his parents that unconditional love of people. He taught us to \"love your irc rvlis gav untii after he lracl contrutcted the disease. We nei-ghbor. \" We need to startto care forthis group ofpeople who are hurtin gi the homosextrals, theirfamilies, andtheir soon realized that we hnd n.ruch to learn about friends. honrosex u al ity. Our immed iate response was to lo ve and The Simon group has been going for one year, and has lr'spect thc parents and their son. However, we tbund orrrsclvcs in the miclstof confusion. Now. nineyears laler, over I25 members from the United States, Canada, and u,e are still le arning about the hurt in the gay community, Australia. Last year we mailed out three newsietters, and antl thcir parents' concerns. we are going to increase the production of this newsletter Since a homosexual urientation can be hidden to every three months inclef initely, there are far rnore people affbcted by Simon/Carn'ing the Cross with Adventist Farnily and homosexuality than nrany Christians think. Most experts F'riends of Ga1's and Lesbians is a confidential support leel that apprclximatelv ten percent of the population are group within the Adventist church forrelatives and friends lrortlrsexuals. of homosexuals. We would like to talk and write to other parents and friends who are struggling with this issue. We Yes. it is likely ten percent of the Seventh-day Aclventist also would like to hear from church leaders and pastors populiition is gay. Mo-st of these homosexuals hide their who are willing to give unconditional love to the parents, scxual orientation. Outwarclly, they pretend they are relatives and friends of the homosexual they love. straight. Inrvardly. they feel rejection, hurt and shame. We are not planning support groups, but will share In addition to the pain of the children, there is the pain experiences on a person-to-person basis. In addition to of theirparents, many of whom eitherknow orsuspect the providing this peer support, we will be trying to give honrosexuality of their ch ildren. S ince many homosexuals support to the outreach network ARTA (Adventists nrarry to avoid suspicion. we can also add to this iist the Responding to AIDS). Anyone interested in information or becoming a member, please contact us. .lon und Mtrbel Norcrass cun be reut'hed at #3 1 3-5550 Cambie Street Vurtr:ouyer B. C. \\/52 3A2,Cunuda, or bv telephone at (601) 325 1,100 Connection 3

January 14-16, 1994 at Laguna Beach, two professors, Dr. Greg Schneider and the gay and lesbian community. Kinship California. would be co-sponsors along with groups Dr. Marilyn Glaim, made strong like Atfirmation andConcernedBaptists. Region benefits quilt With sufficient participation, Kinslrip statements against him. Dr. Schneider would receive a commission of 56lc ot' Region 9 sent a contribution of $ 100 to f alked about Colin's past, and Dr. Glaim the fares fiom our group. Prices begin at the Stahl Center at La Sierra University discussed Kinship, and the pain Colin $ I 295.00 per person. to help in its project to provide quilts for causes people who unsuccessfully AIDS babies. Contributors names are attempt to change their orientations. If interested, contact Bruce Boyd, included in the organization's afiposters. Kinship's Campus Outreach P.O. Ilox 3840, I-os Angeles, Caiitbrnia. Big wheel 90078-2840, or call (2 13) 816-2016. Coordinator, David Rodgers, happened Fans of Wheel of Fortune will have to be at PUC on other business that day, Forum considers church and was able to attend the assembly. In spotted Kinship's own Mark Honaker addition, when contactecl prior to the Kinship's Church Liaison, Dr. Ron on the show recently. His cash and prizes for three days totaled $79,789, assembly, he was able to supply Lawson, is speaking fbr the Advcntist including a Caribbean cruise and a background material to a group of F-orum at the Boston Ternple at 3 :30 pm Corvette. Happy cruising. (He could ort Jrnuary I 5. Hispresentation, entitlccl have won another $29,000. but he concerned fhculty rnembers. \"The Caring Church'1\". stuclies the SDA couldn't \"Talk a Blue Streak.\") Church and it's homosexual nrenrbcrs. Traveling on All Region I menrbers andtheirfriends He's back are ellcourrgcd to attenri. Atter David Rodgers listeneri to Citlin Just when you thought it was safe to Cook fbr two hours, he had onlv orre Chicago communion come out, Colin Cook makes another survival option: He headed \"straight\" to San Francisco, where he rvas attending 'fhe Chicil_eo Chanter in Region -l is appearance on the scene. In late October, some business meetings. The production JeJlrey wtrsplaying just across the street mceting January 15. A Corunruniorr Colin appeared on Donahue, in a lrom his hotel. Service is being planned. segment dealing with changing sexual \"I haven't laughed that niuch at l Thc chapter rvas.joincr-l b1, a new orientation. Colin's past did not come back to haunt him; it wnsn't mentioned play in a long time,\" Davrd chortled. Kinship menrber at the Novemher at all. After the meetings, Davrcl fleu,u,est lneeting. Darnell Sherrod reports that He's back again to work on his winter tan on the beaches of Honolulu. Scott W. is lvitty, hunrorous. und ir On November 15, Colin Cook made an tlclirtite t\\)cI l(, our o1g;111i7111i1'11 appearance at Pacific Union College. Moving on Good time by all Colin invited himself to talk to an Minority Outreach Coorcli nator, Reggie evening assembly of students. The Region 8 helcl a potluck on Novenrbcr Williams. hls moved oncc lgain. assembly was scheduled to last an hour, ll at David Lemon's home. l9 peoplc Reliable sources suggest he's living with but lasted two, with questions and a Woman. atte'nded, including Bud Hinkle, who comments from the audience. Travel Greek cruise was f eatured in last month's Connec'tion. Colin talked for 30 minutes, then a Robert Roy, Vice Presiclent of Travel Ner.v member Damien Lawson raved panel of three teachers made comments. about the reception he received front Dynamics, proposes that Kinship Bruce and Eddie during his recent visit While one religion teacher made to New York City. Michigan refugees participate in a tour of the Greek islands David and Lee reported their house is remarks that supported Colin, the other and Turkey aboard the cruise ship Azur done, and now they're working on the during the week of July l5-24, lL)94. landscaping. The trip is being off'ered exclusively to More California notes \"The three words that could make you think twice about gays in the military: Region 9 members met on December I I General Richard Simmons.\" -Late night talk show host Arsenio Hall. for their annual Christrnas party. This year, Joe Anderson hosted the party at \"I'd like to thank Mum, Dad and the rest of my family for making me the his new home in Riverside. twisted, confused queen I am.\" by rockerBoy George in Members met for the November 20 his new greatest hits CD bookle-tA. cknowledgment meeting at Greg Cox's home. 4 Connection

The cArin1 church?,^u, Introduction published works or correspondence.2 The church never saw reason to commission a study of the topic; its Seventh-day The Seventh-day Adventist church has, in recent years, styled itself as \"The Caring Church.\" One test of the truth of Adventist Bible Comntentary, published during the mid- 1950s, merely repeated the traditional interpretations of the this slogan is how the church treats members who are passages which have been used by conservative Christians to stigmatized by society. This article considers the relations condemn homosexuality; otherwise, its publications rarely between the Adventist church and its homosexual members. mentioned the topic. Church leaders assumed that there were It is no secret that condemnation of homosexuality by no homosexuals among their members: the categories Christian churches long fbstered discrimination against \"Adventist\" and \"homosexual\" were regarded as mutually homosexuals in many countries. This was reflected both in exclusive. When, occasionally, a homosexual was discovered law, where crinrinal penalties were often harsh, extending to in pulpit, classroom or pew-perhaps following an arrest capital punishment in some parts, and in public opinion, resulting from police entrapment-he3 was usually dealt with where it rvas invoked to iustify ridicule, physical violence, summarily: disfellowshipped from membership, expelled eviction l'ron-r housing, ancl loss of employment. However, from church schools, fired from church employment. He was grcrr,,'ing concern for justice and civil rights during the 1960s, beginning with discrimination against blacks and of women, regarded as a pariah who had brought disrepute on the church, extended at length to honrosexuals. The new current fostered rather than as a brother who was desperately in need of the cmergence of the gay liberation movrrment in 1969, a call by the American Bar Association tbr the decriminalization of compassion and support since he had probably lost family, honrosexual behal'ior between consenting adults in 1973 and career, church and reputation in one fell swoop. One notable a vote by the Amerisan Psychiatric Association to remove ex ample of such treatment befell a president of the Adventist homosexuality from its offlcial list of mental disorders the Seminary in Washington, D.C., in the early 1950s. He sanre vear. The mainstream Protestant churches, realizing lhtt the trariitional negative stance had caused suf'fbring and disappeared from the Seminary and church \"overnight\" after being caught in a police raid on a homosexual meeting place. was rooterl in uninfbrmecl prejudice, began to reverse Others, less prominent, were treated equally harshly. For example, a student at Avondale College, in Australia, who ilremselves. However, many conservative Christians clung confessed to being homosexual between his final examinations tenacioLrsl y to the traditional position. In their zeal to roll back and graduation, was not allowed to graduate and was never progress toward liberalized laws and attitudes, they have awarded his degree. While most \"sins\" committed by church mountecl scve ral politicai crusades which tapped dcep reservoirs employees could be forgiven, this was not true of sexual sin. Of these sins, homosexuality was considered the worse: when, o1'hatrccl and prejudice rvithin society. For example, when, in as recently as 1983, the president of Andrews University, the 1977. Anita Bryant successfull-r,'took the lead in opposing a present location of the Adventist Seminary, was arrested on cir.il rights ordinance which would have helped protect gays charges that he had propositioned an undercover vice officer, it was reported to me that several church leaders had exclaimed, in Darle County,. Floritla, rgainst cliscrirnination in employment \"If only it had been with a womanl\" anci housing, her campaign spawnecl burnper stickers urging While the number of church members whose homosexuality people to \"Kill a ga1, tbr Christ.\" Similarly, publicity released by the Oregon Citizen's Alliance supporting their 1992 was discovered so dramatically was relatively few, the rel'erendum measure seeking to ensure that homosexuality proportion of the membership growing up in the church who and those who practice it cannot be protected by law, urged were gay or lesbian was no doubt above average, many also joined the church as adults.4 Moreover, gay Adventists were \"God's solutions\" to the problem of homosexuality. which it often strategically located. Because gays tend to cluster in the listecl as \"llxecution-Castration-lmprisionment\".r While arts and the helping professions, they were-and continue to spokespersons tbr the Roman Catholic Church have usually be-found (or, rather, hidden) in surprisingly large numbers among church pastors and musicians, as well as among the avoided such extreme language, the church has also continued ltl oppose extending the civil rights of homosexuals, and has teachers and medical personnel of the many Adventist schools, insisted that homosexual Catholic shriuld practice celibacy. colleges and hospitals. Where does the Adventist church fit into this religious At the first national \"Kampmeeting\" organized by gay and context'i lesbian Adventists in 1980, members recalled their personal experiences growing up as gay Adventists. One after another Gay Adventists in earlier years told of the isolation they had felt because almost all had been convinced he or she was the only gay Adventist in the world, The Seventh-day Adventist Church largely ignored the Connection 5 topic of homosexuality until the early 1970s. The church 1lrophet, Ellcn White, never ref'erred to it directly in her vast

of years of unavailing struggle and unanswered prayer for a to expand around North America and to reach out overseas. miraclethat would makethemheterosexual; of overwhelming As time passed, pressure on church leadership to respond guilt and self-rejection, ofconsequent difficulty in establishing relationships, promiscuous patterns, and more guilt. Since somehow to the need of gay Adventists began to build. A they had been taught that it is impossible to be both Christian and gay but had found themselves irretrievably gay, they had series of three articles published in Insight, the church youth despaired because they assumed that they were eternally lost. periodical, in I 976 proclaimed that victory over homosexuality Some told how deep depression had led to suicide attempts. through faith was possible.e These were authored by Colin Almosteveryonehadfound no one within thechurch to whom Cook, a former pastor who, after being dismissed from the they could turn for help; those who had sought counseling there had met platitudes like \"go away and pray about it\" or ministry in New York tbllowing the discovery of his bad advice such as \"it's only a phase: get married and homosexual behavior, had sought spiritual healing for his everything will turn out all right.\" But the stories of those who unwelcome drives and eventual ly married. When these articles had married were especially poignant, with guilt and defeat within the marriage relationship and sorrow over ultimate drew a spate of letters fiom persons desiring help, he began estrangement from children. About half had dropped out of counseling those who were willing to come to Reading, the church, feeling rejected by both God and their church Pennsylvania. In 1978 he prepared ten hours oftapes, which community; the other half had clung to the church grimly or were widely distributed under the title HomosexualiO'and the nervously, and were often very active there while keeping Povver to Change.ln another contribution to Insight in 1980, their sexual orientation secret. he estimated that there were between 10,000 and 20,000 That is, being raised as an Adventist had significantly homosexuals within the Adventist church in the United States exacerbated the trauma of growing up gay both for the persons alone, and chastised the church for failing to fbster ntinistries to help these members.r0 concerned and also for their families, who frequently rejected their children or found themseives alienated from them and In 1979, Dr. James Londis, pastor of Sligo Church in had to live with a belief that they were eternally lost. suburban Washington, D.C., spoke to groups of clergy in The emergence of the gay issue in the 1970s southern Califbrnia and around Washington, D.C. about the plight ol gay Adventists. His sensitivity to the issue had been As early as 197 I , shortly after the gay issue had become prominent in society, Adventists addressed it in their general raised by the traumaexperiencecl by agay sibling. Estimating and youth periodicals.5 The flow of comments, in articles, pamplets, public pronouncements and in two books dealing that there must be tens ol'thousands of gay Adventists in North Anrerica. he questioned the two solutions usually offered with sex, continued throughout the 1970s, strengthening homosexuals within the church when he suggested that it was especially after mid-decade. Several of these responded not possible for rnost to live lives of sexual abstinence and negatively, interpreting the rise clf gay liberation movement, stated that he doubted whether cure was possible at all. and its support by clergy in mainstream churches, as signs of Reviewing modern biblical scholarship which disputed moral decay that heralded the return of Christ; condemning traditional interpretations of key biblical passages, he urged gay activists who demanded acceptance rather than wanting that scholars study the issues thoroughly and that the church to change their behavior; and recognizing homosexual behavior by a spouse as just cause for divorce.6 An anthology of Ellen prepare itself to minister to its gay children. White's writings bearing onmental health which was published The response of church leadership in I91l injected content into her writings with a caption that Church leaders were forced to address the issue of gay identified homosexuality as \"Sodom' s Particular Sin\".7 While Adventists early in 1980, when they were asked to decide the majority of the articles and pronouncements urged whether three seminary professors and two pastors could simplistically that those with aberrant drives should seek participate in the first national \"Kampmeeting\" sponsored by SDA Kinship. Searching for spiritual nurture and help in deliverance through God, both books recognized that change answering their most agonizing question, \"Could a gay person in orientation was unlikely, and urged that divine strength be be a Christian?\", Kinship leaders had turned to prominent enlisted to resist temptations.s Most of these publications figures. However, when three of those who responded assumed that the issue they addressed was exterior to the positively found that they were from the Seminary, they church; however, they elicited several letters to editors which concluded that they could not attend without first asking suggested the presence of many homosexuals among its permission. Neal Wilson, President of the General Conf-erence [GC], responded sympathetically, perhaps because he is members. reputed to have two gay members within his family. When he Almost as if to confirm this, a number of gay Adventists found opposition to the request on the President's Executive Advisory Council [PREXAD], he avoided taking a vote there in southern California, emboldened by the gay movement to seek out their own mutual support, formed an organization in and took responsibility for the decision himself.rt Final 1977 which they ambitiously named Seventh-day Adventist Kinship, International. By following networks and placing negotiations were completed in a meeting between GC Vice- advertisements in gay and lesbian publications, Kinship began presidentDuncanEva, ProfessorJames Cox fromthe Seminary, 6 Connection and the author (representing Kinship). Eva, saying \"You have approached us; it is the responsibility of the church to reach out to you,\" laid down two conditions: Kinship could not use the participation of clergy as an opportunity to claim in the

press that the General Conference had acoepted homosexuality; \"While most 'sins'committed by and Colin Cook, whose claim to be able to help homosexuals church employees could be change their sexual orientations was attracting favorable forgiven, this was not true of attention among church leaders, should be added to the five sexual sin. . .When the President invited. In return, the GC would pay the fares of all six clergy participating, and the latter would have the opportunity to of Andrews University was make a personal report to PREXAD after the event. When Wilson announced to the GC officers that the church was arrested on [vice charges], it was reaching out to gay Adventists, he warned them that they reported to me that several church leaders had exclaimed, 'lf should expect questions and flak from the general membership only it had been [with] a woman!\"' and to be prepared to cope with it. The biblical scholars concluded, as a result oftheir study \"counsel will be sought as to what appropriate action can be taken to prevent such groups from using the name of the in advance of the Kampmeeting, that the Bible was silent about persons with a homosexual orientation and that the little church.\"ra that was said there was directed to heterosexuals who might like to broaden their sexual repertoire. Its procriptions were Wilson later agreed, as a result of a phone conversation with the author, that it was permissible for church employees the same fbr homosexuals as for heterosexuals: sexual to participate privately in a Kampmeeting if they wished to minister there. He followed up by intervening personally with exploitation, promiscuity, rape, and temple prostitution. Wi lson a conf'erence president who, on the basis of the earlier letter, probably did not anticipate such an accepting response. The had caused a pastor to withdraw from the forthcoming clergy were deeply moved by the stories they heard at the Kanrpmeeting;of the traumaof growingup as agay Aclventist.r2 Kampmeeting. However, neither the letter nor the statement of the Division was officially withdrawn, and it was clear the Their awareness of hriw ignorant they had been of the whole topic until asked to research it for their assignments at the church's attitude towards Kinship had deteriorated Karnpmeeting led them to make nine recommendations to considerably. Nevertheless, there has been no trouble over PREXAD. These includecl that a special study of the whole clergy and theologians participating in Kampmeetings since thattime. The numberparticipatingeach yearhas rangedfrom clue stion of homosexuality and the church be conducted, that livc to eight. programs on sex educations in schools. colleges, and seminary PREXAD did begin to act on one recommendation from the Kampmeeting clergy: that a list of sympathetic counselors include rr unit on homosexuality, that balanced articles be published to inform nrinisters iind laitii, that understanding be prepared. A letter seeking suggestions for such a list counselors be identified to whom youth with questions revealed the conflicting pressures felt by church leaders at the time and the direction in which they were tilting.It mentioned concerning sexual orientation might turn, and that two of the a wish to re-orient homosexuals, complained about gays who hold that re-orientation is almost impossible, and asked that clergy be appointed as chaplains to Kinship. word thatchurch leaders were workingon \"redemptiveplans\" be treated discreetly because members with a \"critical bent\" Although PREXAD initially accepted all of the would not favor such a concern and church leaders wished to avoid giving the impression to members thattheyfaced \"some recommendations except for those that implied on otficial big new threat\" or that \"corruption\" existed \"to an alarming r ecognit ion ol' Kinship, most of them disappeared tl\"om view extent in the church.\"r5 behind a series of raging but unrelatecl theological and fiscal Cook, Quest, and Homosexuals Anonymous controversies. which increased leader sensitivity to the Church leaders were much more comfortable with the cr-it icisrns o1'c:onservative members. anti as the Ieaders quailed approach of Colin Cook, the self-described \"recovered bclbre a letter canrpaign, urchestrated by an independent homosexual,\" who had formally founded the Quest Learning right-rving publication, queri,ing whether the participation of Center late in 1980. His program proclaimed \"deliverance (iC-sponsored clergy in a homosexual \"Kampmeetin-8\" from homosexuality,\" and brought homosexuals together in indicetcd that the denomination had \"accepted homosexuality.\" Reading, Pennsylvania, for a year or more ofcounseling and involvement in a mutual support group called \"Homosexuals When Wilson discovered through reading a Kinship newsletter Anonymous\" [HA]. A few months later the GC opted to fund Quest, providing more than half of its budget. The Adventist in the Spring of 1981, that Kinship was inviting unnamed Church thus became the first denomination to fund a healing ministry for homosexuals. While the GC was careful to keep clergy fo a second Kampmeeting, he wroteto college, hospital Quest structurally separate from the church, Duncan Eva and church administrator-s, asking them to try to prevent the Connection 7 invitees fl'om attending. He justified this on the ground that Kinship seemed to reject \"the real possibility of change and cleliverance,\" and wanted the church to recognize the \"gay lif'estyle\" as an acceptable alternative within the church.r3 Meanwhile. the North American Division Committee had voted that the church could not condone practicing hornosexuals, that it could not negotiate with organized groups who cailed themselves SDA gays or lesbians, nor even engage in \"diplomatic relations\" with them, since this would be interpreted by church members as \"recognition and endorsement of a deviant philosophy and Iifestyle.\" Indeed,

\". . .church leaders were in effect ;iiiiiiri l rJiiilii saying that the only acceptable ] President of Andrews University during the Annual Council homosexual was one struggling to 1 of the church in 1983 and of an associate pastor of the change his or her orientation. l congregation serving many GC officials the following year, became the chair of its board and church officials made up a majority among its board members, In casting their lot with both on vice charges, brought further awareness. Consecluentl y, Cook, church ieaders were in etfect saying that the only church leaders received considerable criticism from acceptable homosexual was one struggling to change his/her conservative Adventists, who would have preferred to deny orientation and who remained celibate in the meantime. the existence of such members. The leaders' sense that they Church periodicals provided the Quest/[IA program witlr were under scrutiny made them more eager to proclaim the extensive publicity within Adventism, presenting it as the success of their program in changing sexual orientations anrl answer to homosexuality. Adventist pastors and counselors in more careful to avoid appearing as il they rvere accepting of Adventist schools began recommending that anyone who homoseruals. came to them with a homosexual issue contact Quest/HA. M inistry,thepublication for ministers, broadened the network The church is forced to take a position recommending Quest/HA when it featured a long interview Meanwhile, 11in,ship hacl begun two series of mailings. with Cook in an issue that was distributed free to 300,000 One was to students at Adventist colleges in North Anterica. clergy of other denominations. r6 As Quest/HA grew, it attracted Given the absence of publicity concerning Kinship in the a great deal of attention from both the press and TV and radio official church media, these tried tcl reach out lo gay students talk shows and drew endorsements from conservative clergy who were confused or struggling alone. The second series of of other denominations, who were relieved to be able to mailings was to Ach,entist pastors and to teachers. c:ounsclors. recommend a solution when condemning homosexuais. and administrators at Aclventist colleges iind academicrs (high Adventist leaders basked in the favorable publicity: 1br example, they made a church \"800\" number available to schools). The purpose was to raise the conscioustress of handle inquiries resulting from Cook's appearance on the recipients concerning the neecls of gav parishioner\"s arttl \"Phil Donohue Show\" in 1986.r7 HA spread rapidly, peaking students for nurture and to break down ;rrejudice through information. One ol' the latter rnailings stimulatecl the at 60 chapters around North America in that year. publiciition of'an editorial in the oflicial church paper entitled Kinship regarded the publicity concerning QuesUHA as \"The Church and the Hornosexuai\". which iniirrmed the false advertising: its members, remembering their own bitter mentbcrship that r\\dventist gay-r [46[ fortttecl ltn ()l.sanizatlr)n. experiences, feared that QuestlHA was likely to condemn Whilc this editorial rnouthed ihe usual stiitements that most participants to more years of fruitless struggle and increased guilt. Its leaders saw this misrepresentation as homosexual practice is immttlal and that celibacy is the oniy probably inadvertent, resulting from church leaders hearing morally acceptable alternative to marriage, lnd that erring what they wanted to hear rather than weighing facts objectively. ones \"must reach out fclr divine power to conquer the problern,\" The Adventist church never conducted a study of the impact of the program on counselees nor did it even require it also admittecl lhat the testimonies included with thepackage a written report before extending funding. It ignored Kinship's \"about the ostracism homosexuals have taced in the Adventist informed questions and listened only to the glowing reports of Church and the almost total absenc:e of people-ministry and director Cook and to orchestrated testimonies from counselees. laity alike-who seem capable of treating homosexulls with It failed to understand that the reported healings were claimed compassion. . . [indicate] that the church has failed in its by faith rather than achieved in experience. Church leaders mission.\"2' eagerly extended funding when Cook and his wife appeared hand-in-hand before the Annual Council of the church: Cook Church leaders responded to the flow of publicity and became their token ex-gay\". attendant controversy by preparing to take a stand on the issue. The denominational role in financing and publictzing the Quest/HA program helped make church members more The GC's Biblical Research Institute [BRI] began to conscious of the existence of homosexual Adventists. Three commission papers on homosexuality, ancl Elder Eva pulled articles published by Spectrum, an independent liberal together a committee to issue a definitive theological statement. Adventist journal, in the spring of 1982, had a similar effect. Both the BRI officials and the committee were predictably These reported in detail on the 1980 Kinship Kampmeeting,r8 made up of heterosexual males. Only one, a member of the recounted ten of the personal stories of the trials of growing up as agay Adventist told atthe Kampmeeting,reand, in order committee, had participated in a Kinship Kampmeeting. to provide \"balanced\" coverage, provided an opportunity for Cook to describe the Quest/HA program.20 The arrest of the However, the person commissioned with the t'irst paperr an ethicist at Loma Linda University, agreed to share the first 8 Connection draft of his paper with Kinship leaders, who responded with a profusion of comments. He then agreed to participate in a meeting withtheKinship board, wherethepaperwas discussed in detail. This contact greatly increased his understanding of the issues and led him to make major changes in the paper, such as urging the nurturing of gay relationships by the church as the best option available. However, when he presented the paper to the BRI at a seminar, it generated considerable hostility, and sank into oblivion. The BRI then commissioned a second paper, this time

from a biblical scholar. On learning of this, I phoned him to HA materials and tapes for use with students. His letter invite him to participate in Kinship's 1984 Kampmeeting. He complained about Kinship's publicity within the church and was initially eager to do this, but on reflection concluded, in that it had besmitched the church's name by participating in a situation where two of his colleagues had recently been fired Gay Pride parades with banners identifying marchers as on theological grounds, that to do so would endanger his job. \"Lesbian and Gay Seventh-day Adventists.\" He portrayed He explained further that the position a biblical scholar would Kinship as presenting a theological challenge to traditional arrive at vis-a-vis homosexuality was likeiy to depend on his Adventism: \"Perhaps there is no greater challenge to our faith overall view ofthe scriptures, and that ifhe showed his hand and our preaching of the gospel of the grace of God than the l in that respect he would court dismissal. Consequently, he challenge which homosexuality and those who teach it as an would be fbrced to adopt a conservative view of the scriptures acceptable alternative Christian lifestyle presents to our church fbr his paper, and thus towards homosexuality. When he today. Does the gospel we proclaim have power to change or ) presented a dratt of his paper to the BRI in I 985 it was greeted does it not?\"24 as u major contribution. and was Iater published as a book.2: The narne change issue was discussed at length at the Most of the members of the committee which rvas trying Kinship Kampmeeting that month. Members expressed hurt to dlaft a statement on homosexuality treated Colin Cook as that heir church, which had proved reluctant to minister to its gay and lesbian children, would now go so far to dissociate the resident guru. Nevertheless, it nrade little progress. However, the Karnpmeeting graduate on the committee itself from them. It was also feltthat if Kinship wereprevented suddenly becnrne aware thata statement explicitly condernning fiom using the church name it would make it much more homosexuality and lesbianism had been dratted elsewhere difficult fbr it to gain the attention of the Adventists who and circulated as part of suggested changes in the Church needed it but did not know it existed or how to reach it-many Manual, the docunrent governing the operaticlns of the church, had had their attention grabbed by seeing the denominational to clelegates fiom around the world in advance of thc 198-5 name in advertisements or parades. Eventually it was voted Gcnelal Conference Session. Feeling the presence of large unanimously that Kinship members would not agree to change nunrbers of conservative Third World delegates would make their name. However, it was decided to delay communicating it impossible to liberalize the siatement once it reached the tis to the GC until the completion of apiece of my research that fklor, he got together with friends, including several other was uncovering an unexpectedly distressing situation in the vcterans of Kampn.reetings, to try to modify the draft in hope that the new information would encourage it to see the ludvance. As they reiid the situation, it was impossible at that whole issue differently. stage to avert the change totally. Consequentil,, they focused As part of a massive sociological study of the Adventist there eff'orts on changing language which would have Church:s, I carried out a series of interviews with fourteen condemned \"homosexuality and lesbianism\", r sweeping Quest participants, completing these in the fall of 1986. These revealed that the Adventists uprooting themselves to move to rejection ol their rcry being, [o a somervhat more Iimited condenrnation of ''homosexual anci lesbian practices.\" They Reading to join Quest were usually fragile, very conservative church members with high levels of guilt and self-rejection were successful in this. Nevertheless, the nelv statement, because of their homosexuai inclination. Even if they had which rcplaced much vaguer lanvuage. tor the first time Ilbeled thi s \"practice\" as unacceptable and a basis fbrdiscipline. heard about Kinship, they were so frozen in their guilt that Kinship is asked to rename they could not bring themselves to make contact with it: \"l'ension over the gay issue within Adventism escalated Quest, the church-endorsed program for \"recovery,\" was their turfher in subsequent months. In November, 1985, the GC only hope. But Quest turned out to be a nightmare experience for them-one they did not describe in their testimonies tlcmanded that Kinship change its ottlcial name: \"The problem betbre church leaders. Suddenly they found that they were no is the use ot''Seventh-dai'Adventist' and 'SDA' in conjunction rvith 'Kinship International'. Church leaders t-eel strongly that longerthe only homosexual Adventists in the world-isolation the combination implies official endorsement of Kinship was replaced by community, acommunity under stress because its members were trying to change their orientations and yet International, and those leaders object strongly to that I were often attracted sexually to one another. The immediate implication.\"2r result was confusion, turmoil and considerable sexual contact ! Kinship responded that such a decision could be made only with one another. Their confusion was greatiy heightened I at a Kampmeeting, and that the next was scheduled for August when Cook, thedirectorof theprogram, maderepeated sexual lc)86. advances to them.26 None of the interviewees reportedthat his In May 1986 Kinship mailed material to all dormitory sexual orientation had changed, nor did any of them know students at Andrews University, which included an invitation anyone who had changed. Indeed, 1 I of the 14 had come to to call their new \"800\" number for information. The GC accept their homosexuality.2T panicked to an unusual degree over this, and talked of preparing counter materials fbr distribution and of suing This is the .first oJ two ports.lroru a paper w,ritten and read by Dr. Ron krwson dt the meeting of The Andrews Society.fbr Religious Studies, San Francisco, Kinship over its name. In June it requested copies of Kinship's November 1992, and at the meeting ol The Society fitr the Scientific Study of incorporation papers from the otfice of the Secretary of State in California, and in August Eva sent school personnel Quest/ Religion, Washington, D. C., November 1992. For a complete list of .footnores,send a SASE ro Connection, P. O. Box 68, Lebanon, IL 62254. Connection 9

The bottom line: Thou Are not welcoffiel, November 20 was aspecial Reclamation Sabbathforthe Seventh- homosexuality is a learned behavior or pref'erence, they think day Adventist church. Throughout the year we collected names those with a homosexual orientation could change if they really and addresses of former members and invited them to church. wanted to and \"submitted enough\" to God's will by making The denomination even took out an ad in the November 15 issue Him \"first in their lives.\" This leads to much fiustration, guilt of USA Today,inviting all fbrmer members to attend this special and despair, not to mention a high rate of suicide. service. Our church was blessed to witness a baptism during the service. Family members from as far away as Florida flew in to Because their understanding of Scripture is one which views see their reclaimed loved ones recommitting themselves to the homosexuality as a sin to be condemned, a person who \"chooses\" Lord. to continue in that sin must not only be pitied, but condemned There is one group of people I am not seeking to win; nor as well. This places the church in the contradictory position of trying to love whatthey hate This attitude is usually sumrned up am I encouraging those among them who were once members by the phrase, \"We must hate sin but love the sinner.\" Gays and of the church to return. I am speaking of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. Sadly, the Seventh-day Adventist church. lesbians rarely experience the much-touted love. but can attest at the present time, is not ready to receive this segment of to the revulsion and hatred of those who do not understand them. \"Hate the sin but love the sinner\" is a nice sounding catch- humanity with love and acceptance. And until the church phrase, but is rarely practiced in real lit'e. Human nature contuses matures in this area, I cannot conscientiously invite God's gay the so-called \"sin\" with the one labeled a \"sinner.\" resulting in and lesbian children to sub.lect themselves to a climate that would be spiritually and emotionally detrimental to them. hatred of the person himself. This is how religion. falsely These are the reasons I have arrived at this position. It is understood and applied, leads to hatred and vrolence as opposed impossible to treat people with respect, dignity and equality to love and reconciliation. when they are considered abnormal . Because most Our church is not prepared to provide gays and lesbians an tundamentalist/evangelical Christians harbor the false idea that atmosphere of equalitl' and affirmation. The worth and dignity of a monogamous, same-sex relationship is not recognized. That i h h\\ r\\ e re in\\ ibng all iormer {d\\ cntists-or an\\o.c People cannot be expected to excel in lit'e when they are treated tr ho ha.n't s or.hipped like aberrants. It is neither emotionally nor spiritually healthy l.telY bJ( for anvone to be subjected to criticism and judgmentalisrn whether it be in a home. work or church setting. Let's face it, On \\o\\ emi:,rr 10, plr the church can say to one with a homosexual orientation, \"You Homciomrng q3, i Srbb.th can be it, just don't do it,\" but if our members know sorneone is prrpared erFeci.ril\\ \"like that,\" whether they practice it or not, the majority will Iook ll \\ou \\rou d iLl. 1l:. rdlrc(! or ili: \\C,.exlL!i.hurch nerir:l tt, ri)u upon them with revulsion and disgust. , .t, n.n .. I. . ir... The reality is that gays and lesbians who worship in our rsrrijr,',rrrll :::,i0r)il churches fbr the most part do so anonyrnously. Their t'ellow The advertisement that appeared in the November ,5, ,993 USA Today believers cannot, for the most part, understand therr and uphold as true many misconceptions fostered by societal mores and by l0 Connection the church as well. I would notexpectanyone to subject him or herself to a climate where they had to deny their core identitl, (either to themselves or to others), or risk being the subject of raised eyebrows and hushed whispers. Even if a homosexual member were to proclaim him or herself to be celibate, how many of our churches would ordain them to the office ofdeacon or elder or make them a local Sabbath School Superintendent? How many of our churches would let them stand before the members to pray or read a mission story? How many would f'eel comfortable having a gay or lesbian involved in youth ministry? We must face this situation for what it is: a travesty. Ninety- nine percent of our churches would relegate a homosexual member to the back pew, if not throw him or her out the back door. Is that any kind of church home to invite someone to become a part of? The painful truth is that the wonderful, liberating Adventist message with which we have been entrusted is one we are willing to share with every heterosexual nation,

kinclred, tongue and people. Homosexuals, at the very least, are Being gay i$. r: , pitied and ignored. At worst they are despised and rejected. If Connection 11 they are penitent and swear to be celibate, we might deign to accept them while holding our noses, but they would be held suspect and looked upon as morally inferior. That is not an environment I could conscientiously encourage any human being to seek out. I ani not speaking hypothetically, but as a pastor in the field who has witnessed such attitudes firsthand in churches of various sizes and locales. Homophobia afl'ects our members tlecpll whetlrer lhel lir: rrrr Iire east coasl. wesl coast or points in between. What I have observed as a clergyman could be confirnrcd b1' thousands ofgays and lesbians who have suffered at the hands of congregations that should have nurtured and supnolted them rather than driving them away with their hatred rund discouragement. I recentlv expressed my concerns to William Johnsson, the cclitor of the Adyentist ller,iew. Dr. Johnsson sent a very supportive and sympathetic reply; he recognized the need fbr corrrpassion tttward our homosexual members. He disagreed lvrth lny position on discouraging homosexuals from becoming part of the Acl., e ntist farnily, and equated the situation with that ol' Aflican,Arnericans rvho in the pirst were made to feel uncornl'oltable in predorni nately Caucasian churches. Ministers still had rr lnoral obligation to call tliem into the body while hclping tlre bodv to grow in love and acceptance toward tliose of other ltccs. I'nr nr,.t ccrtain the expenence of gays and lesbians in the'90s can be paralieled to thirt of Afiican-Americans during the days rri sesregation. At least there were churches (even though e ornposed primaril.v- of their own race) ',vhere they could feel lccepted. Where is there a reco-unized Seventh-day Adventist cirurch torlav rl,hose rne rnbership is composed mostly of gay peoplc'l -l-here are none! (lf one does exist. it's got to be the brggest tlenominational closet in existencel) In the days of scure-gation we accorrrrnodated our own racism by telling those lvhose skin r.vas darker than ours, \"'fhere is a church on the other siile of town where you might feel more comfortable r,, orshipping.\" Where is there an Adventistchurch \"on the other side oltown\" to rvhich to ret'er gays and lesbians? Even if there rvere, would segre-sation based on sexual orientation give r'r'rtness to the g()spel of Christ's unconditional love? Did it eYer'l There is one wav for gays and lesbians to be accepted and Ioved by t'ellorv members, and that is by posing as heterosexuals^ I do not believe that we should put people in the position of bcari n-s talse witness concerning their sexual orientation simpiy because bein-u who they are rnakes some people uncomtbrtable. In the November I 8, 1993 issue of the Ady'entist Ret'iew. an autllor under the ciiption \"Adventists and Gays,\" stated \"Because of the sensitivities involved, most persons in this class do not identify themselves.\" True, but is it right? Should a situation like that be countenanced. much less tacitly endorsed by the church'l \"Because we cannot handle the truth about your sexual orientation, stay in the closet and continue lying to us about yourselves and everything will be all right.\" Is that any way to bring about a healthy climate of love, continued on the next page

acceptance and equality within the church? Is that any kind of judged his brother to be an unrepentant reprobate who deserved church for those with a homosexual orientation to be encouraged to worship in? As a minister, I wish I could invite those with a to be shunned and treated him accordingly. Where did he learn homosexual orientation to become a part of the Adventist such hatred and prejudice? Sadly, much of it came tiom attitudes family, confident that they would be treated with equality and and teachings instilied within him by the church. incorporated fully into the body, including participation in its various ministries and outreaches. I cannot do that until the I visited a young man in the hospital as he lay dying with church itself progresses to the point of giving unconditional AIDS and discovered that his tather was the head elder of one of our area churches. The young man's sister had called the love and acceptance to all people regardless ofsexual orientation. conf-erence and asked that an Adventist minister visit her brother. Until that day arrives, for which prospects are not bright, I will sadly refer those with a homosexual orientation elsewhere for His own father did not let anyone know that his son lay dying inthehospital because hewasashamed. He didn'twant anyone. spiritual nurture. especially f'ellow church members, to know that he had a son The \"Adventist and Gays\" article referred to 1 Cor. 6:9,10 as who was a \"queer.\" That was the response of a head elder, a rliln I had known for several yearsl a text of Scripture which bars homosexuals from the kingdom. Although some versions of the Bible do contain the mistaken I also received news of the death of a very active and translations of two Greek wotds (malakoi and arsenoikoitoi) as having to do with homosexuality, current Biblical scholarship inspiring young man who served as Personal Ministries leader recognizes that this is textually erroneous; hence, using I Cor. 6:9, 10 to condemn homosexuality has gone the way of using I in one of our local churches. He had died of AIDS. We we\"re Peter 2:18 to support and condone slavery. The lact that our denomination's official weekly magazine would. in 1993, use not informed of his illness because of his t'ear that the church 1 Cor.6:9,10 as justification to exclude homosexuals from the would approach reproach and condemn andjudge hrm rather kingdom shows that we are not prepared to receive or minister to gays and lesbians in a justifiable or Scriptural manner. than showering him with Christ's unconditional love and acceptance. We did not know that he was gay nor that he was ill I can protect non-Adventist gays and lesbians by encouraging and suftering fiom AIDS until afier he had already died. We them to seek elsewhere for a church home where they can were not given the opportunity to reach out to him with love and comfort because of the f'ear he had of the way we might treat receive spiritual nurture and be treated with equality and dignity, him. Was there a justified basis fbr his f'ear? You betcha--he'd but what about those born into our midst? My mind cannot comprehend the depth ofpain a young gay or lesbian Adventist been raised in the church! must suffer when it dawns upon him or her that not onlv are his It is obvious that the attitude of our church ioward gays and or her sexual feelings out of synch with those of most of his or lesbrans has not encouraged members to extend Christ's her peers, but they are feelings that are considered by the church compassion and Iove to them. The question that I pose to thostr in positions of denominational leadership is: Will we as leaders to bedepraved and, if acted upon, willresult in eternal damnation. do our part to change that picture by helping our members On top of being rejected by family and society, gay Adventists have the additional burden of feeling condemned by the church mature in this area or will we remain silent in the tace of ignorance and bigotry'? Worse. will we continue to stoke the and God as we1l. Is it any wonder that the highest rate of suicide is among gay youth? t-lames of preludice through intlammatory editorials such as one pnnted in the June 21.1993 issue of the Advenrist /?elrr'n'. What is the church doing to help educate our members and not to mention other Biblically erroneous articles such as the one previously crted that appeared in the November 18, 1993 encourage them to mature and develop a compassionate. issue which misapplied I Cor. 6:9.10 to homosexuals? Christlike way of relating to these suffering souls? Do we To their credit. I have noted how sincere a vast number of our ignore our responsibility simply because most of those with a members are. to the point that they would be willing ro clispense gay orientation remain closeted (thus hidden from prying and judgmental eyes) out of a sense of shame and self-loathing? with long held prejudices and bigotry once their true nature is They know they would be despised and rejected rather than understood and certain beliefs are revealed to be false. But it being received with unconditional love, thus the church deprives requires education, and as Hosea 4:6 says, \"My people are itself of the talents and gifts God has enriched them and meant to be used to bless others. Sadly, those talents must often be destroyed for lack of knowledge.\" I can't help thinking of the many gays and lesbians whose lives have been destroyed due to shared outside of and apart from the church rather than as an extension of the church' s ministry. If and when they are utilized lack of knowledge on the part of God's people. It's tirne fbr that within the church, they are done so beneath the garb of heterosexuality (as is often the case with church musicians, a picture to change. With the Biblical scholarship and scientific large percentage of whom are gay). knowledge to which we have access, the church will be without excuse if it does not walk in this increasing light. The church Through ministering to AIDS patients, as well as listening to the outpouring of pain and hurt suffered by members of my own will also be held accountable for the hurt and destruction congregation who have a homosexual orientation, I have been convinced ofthe need for growth and education in this area. I brought upon people as the natural result of rejecting increased light and knowledge. My hope and prayer is that the church will have an Adventist uncle who refused to visit his own gay be faithful to its calling and become a vessel of hope, healing brother as he lay dying in the hospital of AIDS. My uncle and aiTirmation to all God's precious children. But that day will only arrive when the church accepts its responsibility and uses 12 Connection its influence to educate members in a way that leads them to model Christ's unconditional love and acceptance to all-- including His gay and lesbian children. \"Being gay is\" was aLso contributed by Pastor Ronald Aslorle..t

Supportive mother unique. And to all mothers who oppose I've also read accounts by prominent Hola, this, I ask you to please communicate physicians who say this expression of with your sons and daughters. Enter Soy Olga, una orgullosa y f'eliz pleasure is inconsequential. mama, de una chica lesbiana llama their world so you can understand them. I am very confused. Is the prophetess Anita, la cual se caso con otra bella Don't be selfish. Open your mind of the Adventist church right? Or, are chica I I amada Jacquel ine pero de carino because if we, their mothers, do not today's medical authorities correct? And, le decimos Jackie. Me siento tan feliz where does Kinship standon this subject? que dese6 compartir esta dicha con understand them, who will? If two people of the same sex love Please sign me, todas las mamas de hijas homoxesuales, recuerclen que ellos no son anormales each other, it means that God is with Confused these people, because God is love. I sino esepcionales, unicos. Y para las plead with all mothers to offer all our Dr. Ron Lawson replies: Our esteemed editor asked me if I rnamas contrariadas Ies pido (por favor) help, understanding, respect and love. mais comunicaci6n con sus hi.jos, entren God bless you all. had anything to write in reply to the a su mundo para que puedan entendelos, above letter since I had presided over a I love you all. no sean egoistas abran sus mentes, seminar which discussed Zft e Destroying porque si nosotras sus madres no los Olga Angel (see below) at Kampmeeting a entendemos quien lo vahacer. California couple of years ago. Ademas si dos personas del mismil V I too was caught by my mother when sexo se aman cluiere decir que dios estlr about five, it seems, and was told many con esils personas, porque dios es amor. Call for boy scouts times that masturbation was wrong, and that it caused nasty things like madness Erhor.to a los paclres brinclarles tcrda Dear Editor. and blindness. EvenDadjoined in around nuc\\lrir lrl udll. crrnrprcncion. rcspeto ) I am writing to ask you to publish the iII I l()r. puberty when he worried that I was number of the Boy Scout Protest Support l)ios Ias bendiga Network. (21 5) I 93 -21 37. It was formed spending too long in the bathroom. The Los cluierc by fieethinkers because ofthe expulsion warnings did not stop me from \"playing Otga or non-admittance of boys who are with myself,'' but they did worry me, I Cali[brnia atheists or whose parents are atheists. I was very relieved when around the age Hi. am sure their concern includes boys I'nr Olgr. a proud and happy mother of 13I stumbledon abook thatpersuaded who are discriminated asainst because me that the warnings were nonsense. of ir lesbian, Anita, whomarriedanother they are gay. beaiitifir I girl named Jacqueline (but her My parents had picked up their ideas Thank you. from the church. Yes, it is true that Ellen lovcd ones call her Jackie). I f'eel very Heidi Johnson White contributed an article containing Maryland such dire warnings to a book edited by happy and I would like to share my her husband in 1870. The book had the V daunting title, A SolemnAppeal Relative happiness with other mothers of to Solitary Vice qnd the Abuses and To touch, or not to touch Excesses of the Marriage Relation.The hornosexuals. Rernember that they are church allowed the book to go out of Dear Kinship, not abnorrnal; but exceptional and I grew up as a gay child in a strict, print long ago because it became an Cortncctiort welcomcs mail fiorn its tundamentalist Adventist f amily. Early embarrassment. I remember talking reitJL'rs. Urrlcs: pcrmission is in life, I discovered the pleasure of about this to a scholar, at one of the specificalll, given to do othcrwise. full touching myself. When my mother Adventist colleges, who was considered an expert on the writings of EllenWhite. nlmcs of lettcr-rvritcrs lvill not be discovered me, at the age ofnine, playing He wondered whether she had gotten printed. Lctters will be identilied b1, with myself. she vehemently punished me telling me I was sinning and hurting masturbation and syphilis confused, initials and state. the \"temple of God.\" because some of what she says about the Opinions expressed in the letter As I grew into an adult, I still former is in fact true of the latter. The column do not necessarily refleci S.D.A. occasionally engaged in this activity, truth was probably the conclusion Kinship positions. but my feelings of guilt continued to be reached by Ron Numbers in his Letters may be edited lbr length or strong. clarity. Ellen White has written against this Prophetess of Health: She was taking some of the extreme ideas of her time Say what's on your mind! Write \"vice\", as has (according to a book I Connection, P.O. Box 68, Lebanon, and processing them as her own. If Illinois 62254 USA, or email your read) Moses in the book of Genesis. Ellen were around to see today's \"safe message to Con n ec t ion lhroLtghlntemet sex\" manuals, she wouldrealize that she via 1 2'7 22,1 44 I @ compuserve.com. was not even right about it necessarily being a solitary u\"iu'lYonrrru\"oonpase 14 13 Connection

Who cares now? As a child, I was a slow deveioper. This trait continues to seeking funds for a new church building. Befbre asking me to manifest itself in my life in a dangerous naivete. I'm willing sign the pledge card, he had prayed rvith me, and I figured this to take people at their word. If a pastor says black is white, I believe he's telling the truth. I net er stop to think he may be appointment would be similar. I imagined is down on our stretching the truth a little because of some ulterior motive. knees requesting God to be part of our deliberations. Then I Worst of all, I believe everything I read in the Ady,entist saw us taking our Bibles ancl prayerfullv considering appropriate passages. However, that was not to be. The Review. Couple the latter with a concern fbr the eternal important point in Pastor G.'s mind was whether or not I salvation ofmy gay brothers and sisters and you have a recipe thou-eht practicing homosexuals would be in heaven. I tolcl for disaster. In November of 1984, Ihe Adventist Review was promoting him that I didn t know, but I thought it was best to have thern the idea of the \"Caring Church\". We faithful ones were being in church where they'cl at least stlnd a chance of findinir encouraged to forget about jewelry and eating rneat. By salvation. witnessing our Saviour's matchless love, we were going to draw Ignoring this humanitarian concern clf ntine, Pastor G. others to the Seventh-day Adventist Church. As the new pushed me to make a decision on hornosexuality and salvation, apparently considering me capable of settling a controversy members contemplated the Saviour, their external baubles ancl unhealthy habits would fall away like autumn leaves. that has raged for centuries. When I told him I dicln't know that I believed that the church was changing it's attitudes and I answer to that one, he concluded that I was an infidel. He was convinced that this change would apply to n'iy gay brothers and sisters. I had visions of them being welcomed back with infbrmed me that rny services at the console o1'the ntightv hugs of thankfulness; my church would be like one big Bald\"vin C-46 rvould no longer Lre needecl, I would not be Kampmeeting. required to play the piano fbr the.lunior Dil'ision's sonn \\erv icL. Acting on this false premise, that same month I placed an ad nor would I continue to teach an adult Sabbath School class. in in threedailypapers in Canadaadvertising SDA Kinship. I was a sudden fit of kindness, he assured me that I rvas most welcome hoping to reach former Adventists who had left the church or to cclntinue attending church ancl he would give me a month tcr been booted out because of their sexual orientation. Wishing to consider my position. I toid him I didn't think any' new iighr u orrltl come lo nre in thll timc. make the ad relevant to the Canadian scene, I rented a post office box to receive the replies and prepared an intbrmation At the end of the rnonth. ,.r,hen I inforrned him thar I was sheet. as undecided as before. he stated that nty name w,oulcl be ltut fbrr.,'arcl for disl'ellolvship at the next business mcr'ting. The ad had only been in my local paper two days rvhen I In retrospect. I suppose I should have def'ended myself, but received a call from the classifieds mana_ger. He had receii.'ed a call from Pastor G. who had requested that the ad be killecl. I had grorvn up in a \"fighting cliurch\" where inrportlnt The manager had refused to do this, but had agreed to contact theological poinls such as horv to fold the communion linens me who in turn could battle it out with Pastor G. Proud of my missionary initiative, I called Pastor G. and explained what I hacl turned into year long battles. As a youth, I had deterrninecl was trying to do. Surprisingly, he seemed antagonistic and called me into his office. that I lvould never _qet involved in such theological warfare. I have continued to attencl church sporadicaiiy, the last In my seven years as a member of the SDA church, I'd been visited only once by church officials, and that was by an elder time belon-e Irebruary I3. 1993. As I write this (November 17, 1993) no one tiom the \"Caring Churuh\" hls phonecl or written to ask hou' I'm doing! Maybe they've lost rnv phclne nunrbcr antl adtlres: Rrr.tt (rr,.ggr,,n n ritts'r-rrt,trrt',ttt,t,l,t. Letters Hopkins University, called The cclllege and academy dorms-to tontinuedJront page I j Destrof ing Angel: Ser, Fitness and Food discoverj ust how rnany ofthe bafhroonrs in the older buildings had no doors on Unfortunately for Adventists, it did irt the Legacl' of Degeneract' Theory', not stop with Ellen White. Her ideas Grahanr Crackers, Kellogg'.s Corn the toilets. When I asked adean about it. were picked up, taken to an even more extreme position, and publicized very Flakes and Americctn Heolth History,.It he said the idea was to \"inhibit effectively by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg will blow your mind while giving you in a series of sex manuals and advice masturbaticln\"! So, as a result of the books for teenagers published around Iots of laughs I But the impact of these ideas on misinformation pedaled by Ellen White the turn of the century. He turned Adventists, and on others whose and Kellogg, our colleges place(d) higher Adventists into the best known anti- value on inhibiting masturbation than masturbation crusaders. You can read Victorian (to this day) minds eagerli, such a basic human value as privrcy l! ! all about this in an amazing book by John Money, a sexologist at Johns imbibed them was no Iaughing matter. Please note that they have not chosen to add the doors since. With this bathroom Connection 14 I was amazed, when conducting situation, shared rooms with creaking interviews among Adventists all over beds. and worships and mothers who the country some years ago-an activity which lead me to be housed in lots of t.otttittued on lltt t1(.\\t po.q(

warn against the dangers of \"solitary Our LoQ of Osfinwa vice\" (aka \"self abuse\" and \"onanism\"- Advice, comments, and answers to the see below), Adventist academies and questions in all of us. colleges are not masturbation-friendly. Dear Lady, (well, it takes all kinds.) I thought that only \"Butch\" German Shepherds were But while they make it more ditficult, I My partner and I have been into that. . . am sure they cannot overcome youthful together five years and everything Muffy obviously has good taste as it seems to be hunky-dory. Even Ian's inventiveness. Warnings didn't stop and my own parents accept us as a is your Persian rug, CDs, and sofa that me-but they did give me a good dose couple. The problem is my mother. She is so overbearing. She lives across have become targets. of a di sease common among Adventists : the state from us, but calls almost every night on the telephone and won't Someone has to teach little Muffy guilt mixed with fear. hang up (try to work a party around that ladies tinkle behind bushes. Here's The Bible does nol address the topic. that). Mom keeps pestering us about a tip that I got from Liberace's former letting her visit, but when she does she housekeeper. Muffy is looking for a The uninformed have sometimes been takes over the house as if it were her place worthy of her gifts. You need to kingdom. Two queens are enough in run right over to Tiffany's and get a cut confused by a passage where a chap by one household! What do you suggest? crystal litter box for Muffy. If Muffy the name of Onan was called on to have Suffocated in San Antonio does not approve, the boxes also come sex with his sister-in-law because his Dear Suffocated, in gold and silver with jeweled trim. brother had died childless-this was the way ofcreating an heir for the deceased Possum, it's time, as queen of your Dearest Lady, kingdom or queendom, as the case may in the Mosaic Law. The trouble was that be, thaf you begin to lay some ground At the annual work Christmas Onan did not want to do his good deed, rules. party, I found out that my friend nnd insteadpracticed coitu.s irterruptrts, As tbr the phone calls, start only Rhonda broke up with her lover Jane. spilling his seed on the ground.\" He accepting calls from Mommy dearest was condemned fbr refusing to follow on alternating nights. Then, only every I have always liked Jane and wished I the law by creating an heir for his three days. Finally, only once a week. If could date her. Now that she is single brother-it had nothing to do with again, I would like to ask her out, but she will not cut the apron strings, then I don't want to upset or offend Rhonda. masturbation. (See Genesis 38.) What advice can you give me? you must cut them for yourself. If Ellen White or Kellogg were Wanting a date in Denver Remember that even the best of hotels oorrect, the world would be full of crazy Dear Wanting, and blind people, fbr statistics show that have rules. When you allow Mommy Possum, you must move with caution dearest to visit, let her know what the almost everyone masturbates, at least ground rules are for her stay. Ifshe is not here. You do not want to lose your ilmong the males: \"98% admit it. and willing to obey the rules, you must ask her to leave. friendship with Rhonda. There is nothing the others are liars. \" This makes itnormal wrong with dating a friend's ex as long Dear Lady, as you follow a few simple rules. You behavior, like eating for example. I must not rush in. An appropriate waiting I don't want to bother you about time is required. The rule is that you understand that the percentage is lower, anything trivial or insignificant, but must wait a third the time that your two though still large, among women. An my problem has gotten out of hand. friends dated. If they dated for more Adventist social worker fiiend of mine Billy's french poodle, Muffy, is lifting used to run a clinic for women who her little leg all over the condo. The than a year, the rule is that you must wait could not achieve orgasms. The first sofa, the Persian rug, and eyen my thing she did with them was to teach one month for each year they were prized CD collection have fallen them to masturbate-she said it was together. subject to Muffy's calling. Billy blames striking how f-ew of them had previously my cat. Any advice? I would also caution you to find out how Rhonda would feel about your tried it. It seems, then, that masturbating Peeyed in Pittsburgh dating Jane. If she feels uncomfortable is a heatthy and helptul part of growing about it, you may be losing a friend in Dear Peeved, the process of developing a relationship up. with Jane. Make sure your feelings for So little Muffy is into water sports Jane are more than a passing fancy; they Has Kinship taken a position on the had better be true love. Ow I\"d\" .f Othr\"\" *rl*t*rt y.* topic ? It has not come up fbr a vote-we Connection 15 don't get that personal nor do we try to lay downrules fbrone another. If we are normal human beings, almost all of us do it or have done it. It is pleasurable not only when we are five or nine, but also at 15, 55, and no doubt at 99, also. It avoids therisk of AIDS orof pregnancy, and can take a sex problem off one's mind and allow one to turn to other pressing matters. Even married people and gay couples -t\" ffi:;:;r:n:;

Family values in gay movies During Christmas, most people think family. A sheep in the Gena Rowlands and Jane Alexander star as lesbian lovers in crowd, I decided to tell you about some gay family movies. A Ouestion of Love Most of these are about coming out to families, so they do not bring any Christmas cheer. If you're prone to depression this The whole family is shown to be dysfunctional, but the story belongs to the gay son, beginning with his impending time of year, beware. On the other hand, if you miss your marriage to a woman who never gets to the alter. family and wonder why you don't spend more time with them, Doing Time on Maple Dri ve is very depressing because the these movies should clear that right up. subject matter includes suicide, abortion and alcoholism. But that's all real enough. My biggest complaint is that while the The Lost lnnguage of Cranes, from the award-winning fact that the show is centered around a white, upper-middle book by David Leavitt, is a BBC-produced movie. It is not too class family is no surprise, I felt the whole time I was watching depressing, but you won't find any humor in it either. The gay the movie that this was a lesson I was learning about a foreign son in this story is in a pretty good relationship. He is feeling culture, rather than feeling caught up in the humanness of the good about himself and decides it's time to put an end to the characters. secrets he's been keeping from his parents, with whom he also has a good relationship. Everything looks good from his If you feel that all of this dysfunction is just a soap opera, hold on, because my favorite pick this month is billed as a perspective. lesbian soap opera. All kinds of family, as well as all kinds of lesbians, show up in 2 in 20. Even if you don't normally Iike However, his coming out does not go very well. His mother remarks that everyone has secrets, and not all secrets need to soap operas, this one has everything you'd want to see about lesbian life: A real love scene, a courtroom battle, behind the come out. His father just cries. The son realizes he had expected more from his liberal father, but what he doesn't scenes in a therapist's office and many scenes from every realize is that his father has done his best to hide his own homosexual double life, and that his mother knows all about lesbian's lif'e. it but hasn't said anything. The story in Cranes is his parents'. While the episodes-six in all, on three tapes-have both While the title tells us that the story is about communication, humor and more serious concerns, the best part of all are the and the lack of it, it's never made exactly clear what the author ads they put in to make it really feel like you're watching all- wants us to learn about this in the movie. gay TV. The ads are all fake, of course, and totally gay: Two gay men who want something fast, but gourmet-voilal Squid I saw the version that played on PBS, and I understand that Helper; an upcoming movie trailer for Dykebol , a take-off of the gay sex scenes were cut to protect more impressionable American viewers. But even this version had some intimate Rambo, and a Doublemint-type commercial with the scenes. And they were not balanced with heterosexual love scenes like most American movies would feel compelled to Washington sisters pairing up with two other lesbians. If, for fair play, you want a depressing lesbian family story, do. I would recommend A Question of Love. The film is about a This is out on video. The release to video stirred a bit of a lesbian fighting for the custody of her kids from a previous controversy in the gay community because the video jacket does not give a clue as to the gay content of the movie. marriage. I saw this one on video, but it's been a long time Aiong the same lines is Doing Time on Maple Drive.Tfis since I've had access to a place well-stocked enough with lesbian/gay titles to have even this one. was a TV movie that showed on Fox. I haven't seen it in video stores myself, but it too deals with a young man coming out Jackie Summerton writes from San Diego, California. to his parents. Letters concluded from page l5 it: after all, their partners are not always there or in the mood when the urge strikes. Then again, many of the same couples do it together, and for one another. However, Iike most good things, such as eating, it can be done in excess. Dr. Richard Hamilton showed us some slides at an early Kampmeeting where some of his patients had done themselves damage by masturbating at length and with vigor without lubricant. Not pretty I So there is a biblical principle we can apply here after all-temperance. But each one of us has to work out our own definition of that word with regard to each activity which we might be tempted to overdo because, in the words of the musical Hair, it \"can be fun.\" 16 Connection