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EAxpskatBAD ADVICE... the Not all advice is good and not all people are as genuine as you may think. Enjoy our 'bad advice' column from the expert we have all met, know and love... the Expat. T oday, the magazine meets an from a challenge. To be a jack of all trades Hans: Screw you, I am! I am now intending extraordinarily accomplished and a master of none. I have the gift of to work in real estate. entrepreneur who has great convincing people what is best for them! Magazine: Intending? How do you really advice for the new ExPat It is all about positive thinking and knowing survive in the Algarve? It doesn’t sound like and how to pursue a path of I am invaluable. Truly believing I will make anything is long term for you? success, leaving no stone unturned. a profound difference to you if you are Hans: Well benefit fraud from my own Magazine: Hans, you describe yourself as fortunate enough to meet me... country has been long term. It is useful a master of many skills. Did that start when Magazine: In what way? knowing people who create convincing you moved to the East Algarve? How did Hans: Well, if I meet someone with a good fake identification. Oh, and of course I got your journey begin? idea, I will take it, make it my own and a massive compensation for a workplace Hans: Well I found myself unemployed in improve it. injury I faked back home. Plus, I avoid tax Germany and thought it was time to reinvent Magazine: And your friends are ok with through my many aliases… myself as a pet sitter in sunnier climates. this? Magazine: When you leave we are calling It is true, the first prized Persian pussycat Hans: Well they don’t remain friends for the police! You are a liar taking advantage escaped from a window and was sadly long! Often people are jealous about what of people! mowed down, and yes, it is true that they I can do. Hans: Ha, you think!? You don’t even know tried to sue me. So I changed my name, Magazine: Indeed… What other ideas have who I am! Anyway, I was thinking it was time moved to another town, and became a life you taken and improved for your repertoire for a move, maybe to Malta. I am thinking of coach. It is not my fault their prized pussy of services? becoming a burglar, but first I need to lose had wanderlust! Luckily, with my new alias, Hans: Well, I run art experiences, this was a few pounds, else I won’t fit through the they have not tracked me down! very well attended in comparison to my windows! Magazine: Wow, that sounds stressful. So other events. Last time two people came Magazine: Well you better sprint your fat now you also are a life coach? How did that and I made 70 Euros. ass out of that chair, because we are calling come about? Magazine: So you have a background in the Police now…! Hans: Well, I watched a YouTube tutorial fine art? Hans throws over the table, grunts, standing for fifteen minutes. No one ever asks to Hans: No, it’s not necessary! How hard is menacingly over us. see qualifications and I downloaded a fake it to hold a paintbrush!? It’s like my other Hans: (yelling): “That phone is mine”! diploma! venture in fine antiques. I don’t know what Magazine backs away over the table. Hans Anyway, I have been schooled in life, I know the items are, but I create a big fancy pursues falling over the chair he upturned the way of the streets, not pen pushing! backstory and then hugely overcharge. I like and gauging his groin on the leg. No one needs to know I got sacked from to use the second hand Facebook market Laying flat on his back Hans lays choking: most of my jobs in data entry and customer pages. The aim is to make the person feel “You bastards”! service roles. I always knew I was too special enough, or guilty enough to buy it, special for those anyway. or annoy them enough for them to want you Magazine: So have you had any actual out of their hair...(Laughs heartily). client’s yet? Magazine: That really isn’t nice! And do you Hans: Well the only one I have had since do this with other skills you offer? being in the area was not ready for my Hans: Sure! Why not. In the town I lived in interventions. They said I was not an expert before I changed my name, I even said I was and asked for their money back. I refused to an electrician! I heard that was an explosive give it back though. My time and experience issue after I moved! is precious! Besides, they were rude and I also run business networking events and ungrateful. Now I randomly put posts out on entrepreneur groups. Mainly to take ideas Facebook advertising my credentials. and make them much better. I encourage Magazine: Erm, I don’t know what to say! people to give me their bank details and join Well, what qualities do you think you need a group that doesn’t really exist. Suckers! and have that makes you an entrepreneur? Magazine: We seriously thought we were Hans: It is about self belief. Never hiding interviewing an accomplished entrepreneur! 52 www.eastalgarvemag.com
RESTAURANTE Ruy Barros Serenidade FRANGANARIO Hairstyling & Beauty Salon Estética e Saúde Tavira Ladies & Gents • Podiatry/Chiropody TRADITIONAL Welcome to our new • Waxing, Facial PORTUGUESE CUISINE space in the centre treatments, Body Shape, of Tavira! With a Massage Travessa Almirante Candido dos professional and Reis 139, Tavira 8800-318 friendly service. • Manicures, Pedicures Cut, colouring, and Semi premanent Telephone: +351 963 882 952 perming, hair extensions, hairstyling, gel polish Facebook: Franganario Tavira hair treatments, massages, face/body treatments, make up artist, epilation, • Lasers, Radiofrequency, laser, lash extensions, gel nails, nail art, IPL and other energy gel polish and much more. based devices MON - SAT 09.00H - 19.00H Praceta Eduardo Felix Franco, All year 10 Loja F, TAVIRA Travessa Zacarias Guerreiro No16, Tavira 963 458 163 Tel +351 281 023 636 Mob +351 964 888 810 or 913 999 906 Email: [email protected] Rui Barros Cabeleireiros e Estetica NURSING CARE The family-run Amesbury Abbey Group offers an elegant retirement in country house style at Here when Monte da Palhagueira. you need us For those who are looking for the reassurance of www.eastalgarvemag.com constant professional care, our nursing care may be the way forward. Alongside all the benefits of residential care, our nursing care adds the additional security of 24-hour care provision from qualified nursing professionals. Our team spend a lot of time getting to know each resident as an individual, learning their preferences and understanding their concerns, working hand in hand with GPs and other associated care professionals to provide outstanding personalised nursing care. Our exceptional care team treat all our residents with respect, dignity and friendship, and our nursing home has a warm, family atmosphere. Each individual aspect of our nursing care is designed to give our residents the best possible quality of life and the highest standards of 24-hour care. For further information, please contact Senior Sister Hazel Gordon at T: +351 289 990 900 E: [email protected] Monte da Palhagueira, Gorjôes, 8005-488 Santa Barbara de Nexe, Algarve www.retirementvillageportugal.co.uk 53
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Largo Dr. José Pires Padinha, 8800-354 Tavira. Tel; 927 437 297 or see Facebook ‘Marazul Tavira’ You can also follow Mar Azul on instagram. 55
Energy Solar hot water when you need it - without sunshine! Solar power all year round with Thermo-Dynamic Panels. Here is how they work and what they costhermo-Dynamic panels are a sustainable source of natural, clean and renewable energy providing 100% of your T hot water needs, 365 days relative warmth from the air. Although the compressor runs on electricity, the costs are low, around 112€ per year. The key metric for this kind of technology is the so-called coefficient of performance of the year. SHS SOLAR (COP), which measures the amount of heat SOLUTIONS can supply the very latest generated for each unit of electricity put technology in domestic hot water solutions into the system. An immersion heater, for using stainless steel tanks with either one or example, has a COP of 1, while air-source two panels, and with WiFi also included for heat pumps typically have a COP of between remote control, monitoring and support on 2 and 4. Thermo-dynamic panels generally any mobile device. have a COP of between 2 and 7. The tank can be located anywhere near a The starting price for SHS Thermo-Dynamic hot/cold water feed and the panel(s) can be hot water systems is around 3,295.00€ mounted almost flat up to 15 meters away if including full installation and VAT. There needed, thereby eliminating the UGLY TANK is nothing cheaper or more efficient in the ON THE ROOF, and with the panels out of market today for this type of technology. sight, you can have hot water on demand Customers may also be eligible for government year-round and in all-weather types while subsidies backed by an EU directive for saving 85% on energy costs. renewable energies, an initiative to encourage Thermodynamic panels are similar to air- green energy and low carbon footprints. source heat pumps and work like refrigerators Please speak with an SHS Manager for more in reverse. They work the same in rain, clouds details on this and other incentive schemes and at night. and products such as Solar Photovoltaic The panels absorb heat from the atmosphere systems, Heat Pumps, Underfloor Heating, to convert a refrigerant into a gas. That InfraRed and Car Chargers. then passes through a compressor – which For more information and to schedule a FREE boosts its temperature – and is used to heat site visit and assessment, please contact; water. The refrigerant enters the panel at a [email protected], [email protected] temperature of between -20C and -30C, so [email protected] / www.shs-pt.com even on cold days the panels can absorb FINADRMIAENR TASTE THE DIFFERENCE! CABANAS Home grown spices imported from India gives a unique flavour producing the best Indian cuisine in the East Algarve! 56 www.eastalgarvemag.com
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Sport New home for Algarve Croquet Club In a fantastic new partnership, Algarve Croquet Club (ACC) has taken up home at the prestigious Benamor Golf in Conceiçao de Tavira, near Tavira. ACC club secretary Stephanie Shreeve explained, “The ACC is committed to pursuing excellence in croquet and to creating an environment which helps the game to be played at its very best. Our new home at Benamor Golf helps us to do just that. We’ll be actively seeking to play home and away games against other clubs in Europe and to send teams to represent Portugal in official competitions. Our new home also helps provide an active social dimension to ACC, not least by making use of the brilliant club house dining facilities”. The ACC held an excellent and fun open day on Sunday 1st August, attended by more than 50 people keen to see the new venue in all its finery. João Sousa of Benamor Golf said “ We are delighted to welcome ACC and add another sport to our offering here at Benamor Golf.” Full membership of the ACC for the remainder of 2021 is just 50 Euros for unlimited play, seven days a week. It’s open to anyone able to play croquet to a reasonable standard or keen to learn how to do so. The club expects to receive an early visit from renown English international Stephen Mulliner, so this really is an ideal time to join. Anyone wishing to do so should contact Membership Secretary, Trevor Morgan, at morgan- [email protected] Vaughan Willmore 58 www.eastalgarvemag.com
SEPTEMBER OFFER QUINTA DO VALE GOLF 2 Players + Buggy.......................110€ Green Fee.....................................45€ Receive an extra 10% Discount off of these special prices, including food and beverages, Pro shop & buggies after your first visit to Quinta do Vale. Special summer offer for members of all Portuguese or Spanish golf clubs: 20% DISCOUNT ON GREEN FEES NEW MEMBERSHIP CONDITIONS FOR 2021 IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BECOME A BALLESTEROS SIGNATURE COURSE MEMBER AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF: • MEMBERSHIP FEE’S STARTING FROM 855€ • 3 MONTH MEMBERSHIP OPTIONS • ALSO 20 GREEN FEE PACKAGES AVAILABLE Tel: +351 281 531 615 You can now check availability and book directly through our website www.quintadovalegolf.com or contact us by email [email protected]
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