Developing Mental Toughness Toolkit HE

What is Mental Toughness Mental Toughness is how you deal with stress, pressure, opportunity and challenge.

The Mental Toughness Coaching Toolkit The Mental Toughness Coaching Toolkit is an array of experiential exercises which can be run with students in one-to-one sessions. What is Mental Toughness – what can we assess and develop? Mental Toughness is a moderately plastic personality trait which determines in large part how individuals respond mentally to stress, pressure, opportunity and challenge. Research shows that Mental Toughness scores correlate closely with Performance; Well-being; Positive Behaviour and Aspirations. It has a significant impact on most key outcomes in the world of education. It applies to leaders, staff as well as to students. As a concept, Mental Toughness embraces other well known concepts and ideas such as resilience, grit, mindset, learned optimism and learned pessimism, as well as most definitions of character. Research shows that Mental Toughness has four elements often called the 4 Cs. Each has two sub-scales. This is shown below: MT Scale What this means … CONTROL Life Control – I really believe I can do it Emotional Control – I can manage my emotions and the emotions of others COMMITMENT Goal Setting – I promise to do it – I like working to goals Achieving – I’ll do what it takes to keep my promises and achieve my goals CHALLENGE Risk Taking – I will push myself – I am driven to succeed Learning from Experience – even setbacks are opportunities for learning CONFIDENCE In Abilities – I believe I have the ability to do it – or can acquire the ability Interpersonal Confidence – I can influence others – I can stand my ground if needed. We are able to assess mental toughness in terms of these components in individuals and groups through a unique 48 item high quality psychometric measure called MTQ48. It is normative which enables users to assess mental toughness before and after a programme of interventions. There is a version of MTQ48 available for use with secondary school students. 1 © AQR International 2016

Can we develop Mental Toughness in individuals? Instinctively the answer is “we can”. Sports psychologists and sports coaches would argue that they have been doing this for many years with significant evidence of success. More practically, the answer still appears to be “yes we can”. One key question is “are we changing someone’s mental toughness or can we simply equip someone with tools and techniques that enable them to behave as a mentally tough person might behave”. The answer appears to be that, where the individual wants to change or develop it is possible to change one’s core mental toughness. We are not suggesting that anyone must develop their mental toughness. For those who see a benefit in their life or their work, there may be a good reason for developing mental toughness without necessarily becoming very mentally tough. There does seem to be some valuable advantages in life and work for those who are more mentally tough than most. The value of the model and the MTQ48 measure is that it can help to identify which aspects of one’s mental toughness are preventing or hindering them from attaining, achieving wellbeing or leading a more positive life. Self-awareness is the key here. How does the coaching toolkit work? There are two approaches to organising the exercises. One is to focus on the desired outcome – “I wish to improve my Mental Toughness in terms of the 4 Cs”. The other is to approach it from the perspective of “enablers”. These fall into six broad headings:  Positive Thinking – Affirmations, Thought Stopping, Self Talk, etc.  Visualisation – Guided Imaging, etc.  Anxiety Control – Controlled Breathing, Relaxation, Distraction, etc.  Attentional Control – Dealing with Interruptions, Attention Span, etc.  Goal Setting – SMART Goals, “Eating the Elephant”, Balancing Goals, etc.  The MTQ48 test –Good feedback and reflection often provokes a positive response These all help to develop the capability to deal with stress, pressure and challenge and, where appropriate, to cope with these. The exercises in this toolkit are organised by the 4 Cs. Many of these can impact on more than one of the 4 Cs. 2 © AQR International 2016

The tools have been written so that they can be delivered to a group or coaching tools to be used in a one-to-one situation. Using the Exercises The start point should be an accurate and realistic assessment of the individual’s Mental Toughness and their potential development needs ideally based on the use of the MTQ48 measure. This enables the user to direct interventions appropriately. One useful indicator to examine is an individual’s challenge score. Individuals who are mentally sensitive on this scale (typical scores of 1 – 3 perhaps 4) are less open to learning than individuals with higher levels of Mental Toughness. They may require more attention. Mental Toughness is developed as a result of experiential learning  Mental Toughness is learned – it is not easily taught. It is about developing a mindset. One can’t learn this just because you follow a process.  For the Individual– they may need to be supported to persevere until they “get it”. Practice is important.  For the Coach/Tutor – facilitation and coaching skills are important. Trialling and practising these skills is important. There is nevertheless an underlying process: Stage one - Experience Introduce the exercise to the individual and explain its purpose. The Student carries out the exercise and assesses what difference it made to their thinking Stage two - Reflection The absolute key to success. Get individuals to consider:  What occurred? – What difference was made? – Did they improve performance in some way – was this beneficial?  How did they feel? Was mood improved, did it boost confidence? Was it enjoyable? Did it make them want to do more? The key is to enable the individual to associate this feeling with their participation in the exercise.  What did they learn? Can doing things differently be effective? Does approaching things differently work? Does being positive produce surprising results? What could they now do that they didn’t think they could before? Where could they now apply this learning to other areas which are important – especially in school! 3 © AQR International 2016

Stage three - Purposeful Practice Now the hard bit. Practice what you have learned until it becomes a habit. Then it becomes easier and the benefits will flow. Tutors Guidance Prior to running a Mental Toughness Coaching Session we suggest that the student is tested with MTQ48. As part of the preparation for a Mental Toughness Coaching Session the MTQ48 Development Report should be printed in respect of each delegate. Each exercise is supported with a cue card which provides full instructions for use, equipment required and guidance for managing reflection and learning. In addition, there is a coaching workbook that can be used during the session and a UCanPass workbook that can be given to the student as home based learning. 4 © AQR International 2016

INDEX OF MENTAL TOUGHNESS DEVELOPMENT EXERCISES AND MATERIALS Mental Toughness Development exercises and materials grouped by type and mental toughness component (4Cs). Most exercises can impact on more than one of the 4 components. The manner of delivery can influence on which of the 4Cs the exercise will have greatest impact. TYPE OF EXERCISE IMPACT POSITIVE THINKING Theme 1. Procrastination Dealing with “why I don’t do” 2. Think Three Positives Reframing 3. Affirmations Making positive thoughts 4. Heroes & Heroines Positive aspects of role models 5. Self-Belief Builder Developing ones self-efficacy 6. Thermometer Exercise Dealing with irritants 7. Confidence Booster Growing Confidence 8. Do Something Nice for yourself Developing Self-Esteem 9. Positive Thinking Planner Positive Thinking 10. Turning ANTs into PETs Reframing, Goal Setting 11. What do you think I am Good at Generating Positive Feedback 12. Flaw Fixer Bouncing Back VISUALISATION Theme 13. What does an Exam feel like Applied visualisation 14. The Scent of a Lemon Core Visualisation Exercise ANXIETY CONTROL Theme 15. Progressive Muscular Relaxation Relaxation 16. Posing for Success Anxiety Management 17. Dealing with Pre-Exam Nerves Dealing with Stress 18. Making a Fist Relaxation, panic control 19. Take Nine Breaths Relaxation, panic control

INDEX OF MENTAL TOUGHNESS DEVELOPMENT EXERCISES AND MATERIALS ATTENTIONAL CONTROL Theme 20. Number Grid Focus and Goal Setting 21. Colour changing card trick A Concentration Exercise – This is also an excellent icebreaker 22. Memory Card Games Getting Focused GOAL SETTING Theme 23. Paper Tower Goal Setting, Communications and delivery 24. What will I do tomorrow? Goal Setting & Positive Thinking 25. What is my goal? Goal Setting & Positive Thinking 26. How do you eat an Elephant? Setting Milestones 27. Not to do list Procrastination Buster 28. GANTT Chart Prioritising, Planning and setting milestones OVERALL MENTAL TOUGHNESS Theme 29. Managing Time – Urgency and The Urgent v Important Matrix Importance

Procrastination A Positive Thinking Exercise Running the exercise - Paper and pencil. The student needs a copy of the procrastination questionnaire which provides basic instructions and guidance for reflection. They complete the questionnaire individually. 1. Explain that the student will do an exercise which will help them to think how it makes them feel when they don’t do what they said they would do and how that impacts on their general performance and wellbeing. 2. Explain that: You have a procrastination questionnaire in front of you. This will help you to think about when and why you sometimes (or maybe often) don’t do what you are supposed to do. When you’ve completed the questionnaire, you will calculate a score. The instructions are on the sheet. You have 5 minutes to do this. *Then turn the sheet over and that will help you to think about how you might procrastinate less, get more done and feel better for it. You will have 10 minutes to do this. Review Check to see if student recognises themselves in this exercise and accept their self- assessment. Get them to think about two things: What does this do to their mood (positive thinking)? What does this mean for their performance and getting things done? Support Materials & Resources Pre-printed A4 sheets specially designed for this with double-sided grids are available in pads of 50 from AQR. © AQR International 2016

Procrastination Background This is an exercise which leads us to think about prioritising, planning and control. It works well as an introductory session to planning and control techniques – Urgent v Important; 4-2-1 planning technique; Gantt Charts; Force Field Analysis; Setting SMART Goals and Revision Timetables. Because there is a score generated it can be useful to re-run this exercise after a few weeks to enable students to see if they have made a difference – if so – how do they feel? If not – why not and what does that mean for the mood and their performance? Discussion Guides:  Was the student surprised with some of the feedback?  Are there things about which they procrastinate more than others?  How do they feel when they don’t do what they should have done?  Would they like to feel differently?  What would be the effect of feeling more positive?  Taking one step at a time – what would be the one thing they would want to do better in terms of keeping promises? What could they do to achieve that? © AQR International 2016

Common reasons for procrastination include: Poor time management Unable to prioritise or uncertain of priorities. Difficulty concentrating Too many distractions, bored. Fear & anxiety Fear of failure, and/or success. Personal problems Financial problems, family issues, etc. Perfectionism Unrealistic expectations. Dislike task Self-deception – make task not as important as it really is. Negative beliefs Lack of confidence in abilities; feel overwhelmed by the task/tasks, difficulty dealing with setbacks. Review When it comes to action planning, it can be a good idea to pair students as “buddies”, sharing their action plans and working together to monitor and implement what they have committed to doing. © AQR International 2016

Procrastination Questionnaire Consider each of the statements below and circle a number that represents your particular behaviour. Circle 1 if you agree your behaviour is very much like the statement on the left. Circle 2 if you agree your behaviour is often like the statement on the left. If you do not feel that both statements describe your behaviour, circle 3. Circle 4 if you agree your behaviour is often like the statement on the right. Circle 5 if you agree your behaviour is very much like the statement on the right. There are no right or wrong answers here – the idea is to give a guide to one aspect of your behaviour. This guide is purely for your personal use. It only works if you are honest with yourself. I always clean and tidy my workspace 1 2 3 4 5 Whenever I start a difficult task I rarely feel the whenever I have to start a difficult task. need to clear and tidy my workspace. Even when a task is going well I often 1 2 3 4 5 I am always confident that I will be able to doubt whether I will be able to produce a good piece of work. complete it satisfactorily. I am often guilty of delaying putting a plan 1 2 3 4 5 I never delay in putting a plan into action. into action. I am very fond of chatting and gossiping or 1 2 3 4 5 All the things I do during lessons are related to wandering around when I have no reason to getting my work done. Chatting and do so. wandering around are kept to a minimum. I always have to concentrate hard and 1 2 3 4 5 I start my work very easily and naturally. I always discipline myself to get started on a piece start early. of work. On many occasions I have avoided 1 2 3 4 5 Whenever I am faced with unpleasant, unpleasant, difficult, unfamiliar or difficult, unfamiliar or upsetting tasks I just get emotionally upsetting tasks. on with it without delay. I am often guilty of putting unimportant 1 2 3 4 5 I never put an unimportant task in front of tasks in front of important pieces of work an important one unless I have a sound reason for even when I know I shouldn’t. doing so. I often delay a piece of work because I fear 1 2 3 4 5 I never delay a piece of work because of the I will make a mistake. fear of making a mistake. When I miss a deadline it is normally 1 2 3 4 5 I very rarely miss a deadline. because I have delayed on the piece of work. I often leave difficult tasks until the last 1 2 3 4 5 I generally plan my work well in advance and minute or the end of the day. normally I do all the important work early in the day or when I am at my best. How to score this: When you have circled a number for each factor on the worksheet, add the numbers and divide by 10. My score is: © AQR International 2016

Procrastination Questionnaire Interpretation of Results If you have a number between: 1.0 and 1.4 You probably procrastinate a lot – and it will affect what you achieve 1.5 and 2.4 You probably procrastinate more than you should and work below your potential 2.5 and 3.5 You procrastinate about the same as most people although you may work hard not to do this, you still have room to improve 3.6 and 4.5 You don’t procrastinate a lot – you get things done most of the time 4.6 and 5.0 You have this under control – and it probably shows in your work What is procrastination? Procrastination is avoiding doing something that is urgent and/or important and something that you know you really need to do. It occurs when you  Put off doing something that might seem difficult or time consuming.  Do something less important than you need to do.  Get distracted by something that is more pleasurable which distracts you from your purpose.  Leave things until the last minute and don’t leave time to do the important things properly. We all do this sometimes but if we do it too often it means we are less effective. Some of us, unfortunately, regularly avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions. Examples include putting off coursework, avoiding revision, not preparing for class, etc. At home it might mean helping with washing up, the chores, helping round the house, looking after a brother or sister etc. The problem is that procrastination can lead to feelings of guilt, inadequacy and self-doubt which impacts on our positive mindset. Procrastinators may say they perform better under pressure but that doesn’t really work. That’s often just their way of justifying putting things off. The bright side? It's possible to overcome procrastination—with effort and prioritising, planning and organisation. The most obvious reason for procrastination is that we really don’t want to do what it is we’re putting off. So perhaps when you find yourself procrastinating, it’s time to sit down – now! – and look at what’s really important to you. My Action Plan What do I avoid doing that I know I must do What will I do to stop procrastinating © AQR International 2016

Think Three Positives Exercise A Positive Thinking Exercise Running the exercise - Paper and pencil 1. The student will need paper or a diary where they can record in writing. These can be used for students doing this on their own when the initial programme is finished 2. Explain that they will do an exercise which will help them to focus on their achievements and successes…Creating more positive mindset. Explain that: You are to think about what you have done today. Write down (3) three things that you think or feel you have done well. They have to be something you have done. It mustn’t be something that has happened to you – like you watched your team win. It doesn’t have to be something big. Did anyone say thank you or well done to you today? Did you learn something that you didn’t know yesterday? Did you do something nice for or with someone – even if they didn’t notice? Did you hand your coursework in on time today? You have 5 minutes Coach/Advisor Review When the student completes their 3 things, let them go but ask them to think about those things later on. Ask them how they feel about themselves. Have they recorded things that they would otherwise have taken for granted? At the end of each week ask the student to look at their week – how do they feel? At the end of the cycle ask again. This exercise can be usefully adjusted to focus on an issue: What three things have you learned today? What three problems have you solved today? What three things made you feel good today? Etc. © AQR International 2016

Think Three Positives Exercise Background This is an exercise in Cognitive Behavioural Modification. Most of us, when we encounter problems dwell on them. In turn this means that they can acquire significance out of proportion to their true value and can dominate our mood and our mindset. The reality is that we all get most of what we do right, but don’t see it as special. When we get things wrong, it feels like we get it all wrong. By focusing on the positives we can change our mood which impacts on our Mindset. The goal here is to show young people how to focus on their positives, their achievements big and small, rather than on the problems and difficulties they have encountered – and even if their achievements are small to build on these. Discussion Guide: Did the student think their score has changed (hopefully up)? Do they feel more positive and more in control? What difference does this make for them? E.g. when doing things that might be difficult to understand or do? Why do they think thinking positively helps performance, wellbeing and behaviour? Support Materials & Resources Worksheets specially designed for this with double sided grids are available to download NOTE –An option is to ask the student to self-assess their mood on a scale of 1 – 10 before and after a 4 week cycle. See below for a rating scale. For most there will be a change in positivity. Ask the student to consider why that has occurred. © AQR International 2016

Coach Review - Assessing Mood A student can rate their mood/day on a scale of 1 – 10. Do this manually guiding assessment as follows: 1-3 - I definitely don’t feel in control of my life and my work. 4-7 - I feel in control some of the time but not all of the time. 8-10 - I pretty much feel I am getting things done because I know I can. Discussion: Ask the student, “what are the factors that lead you to this assessment”? This may bring up issues which can usefully be used for other MT development exercises. © AQR International 2016

THINK THREE POSITIVES EVERY DAY – DEVELOPING POSITIVE THINKING My Name is …………………………………… This short exercise helps to think about and appreciate what you have achieved each day. Too often we think about the things that have gone wrong and we let that dominate our thoughts. At the end of each day think about three things that you have done well. They don’t always have to be “big” things. They can be anything that you feel pleased about. This can include things that you have learned that you didn’t know before. Include comments made by your lecturers, parents, friends, etc. We all do lot of things well that we sometime take for granted. Write them into each box on the sheet below. My score is: Once you have got used to doing this your mood should begin to change and you should see the world more positively – it’s full of opportunities as well as problems and setbacks. Developing a positive mindset enables us to feel more in control, improve our confidence and see learning new things in a positive light. Before you start, assess how positive you feel about school and life on a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being very positive: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday How do I feel this week?



My score is: You can see that you have achieved a great deal over this period. Re- assess how positive you now feel about school and life on a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being very positive: You can continue to do this at home, in the evenings. It only takes a few minutes but helps you to think about your day and what progress you are making ©AQR International 2016 – 7 day version

Posing for Success A Confidence Building Exercise – which shows the importance of body language Running the exercise – It is useful to look at a short 5-minute video as preparation for this exercise. It can be shown to the participant before or, preferably after an initial attempt. See: http://www.academybridge.org/videogallery/power-posing-for-success/ 1. Ask the student to adopt a pose and then describe how it impacts on mood and feelings. 2. In the first brief explain that: I am going to show you how to boost your confidence in two minutes. The trick is to open up your body and take up more space. In other words, “make yourself big!” To do so, stand with your legs spread with your hands rising high above your head and stretch yourself out making yourself as big as you can. Hold this pose for a minute or preferably two. Then think about how you now feel? 3. Note: Individuals can easily do this themselves whenever needed. Coach/Advisor Review This is a simple task which can have a big impact. It is useful to do it before an activity – like doing a short presentation to others. Does the individual sense a change in their mood – and confidence? How useful is that – what are the benefits? When could it be useful to do this short exercise – work, study, play, etc? How easy was it to do? Now do it every day – its only 1 – 2 minutes. © AQR International 2016

Posing for Success Background This is an exercise which builds the confidence element of mental toughness. Harvard Business School Professor, Amy Cuddy, suggests a simple exercise, which will quickly and positively reconfigure your brain by reducing your cortisol (stress hormone) and increasing your testosterone levels by up to 20%. Discussion Guides: Can the student feel the change in mood? Do they find it difficult? Practice will improve it. Some will instinctively do the opposite and make themselves small – and may find it more difficult too. If they then have to do something, like a task or participate in something, what difference does it make to completing the task? How does that feeling compare to when they fail to achieve a task? What has this done for their interpersonal confidence? Are they more likely to tell others what they think and know? What has this done for their confidence in their abilities? Support Materials & Resources There are no materials needed. It can be useful to capture the ideas on a flipchart or white board and keep them posted in full view for a short while. © AQR International 2016

MAKING A FIST A Short Relaxation/Anxiety Control Exercise Running the exercise - 1. The student can do this standing up or sitting down. 2. Explain that they will do an exercise where they will be shown a quick and easy way of releasing tension. When anxious the body reacts by tightening muscles or disrupting breathing. Bringing one or the other under control helps to release the tension. 3. Explain that: You do this exercise on your own. Sit comfortably with a straight back. Tell yourself that you are going to relax. Slow your breathing and allow a few moments to let muscles relax. With your arms down your side, make a tight fist with your right hand. You should feel your arm muscles tighten. Hold it for 10 seconds. Release the fist and feel the tension drain away (wait for 15 seconds). Repeat this with your left hand, making a fist and holding it for 10 seconds. Release the fist and feel the tension drain away (wait for 15 seconds). Repeat the sequence 4 times. Coach/Advisor Review Ask the student to describe how they feel. Can they feel the tension draining away from their muscles? Do they feel more positive? Remind them that this is a quick and easy exercise that they should practice whenever they can – at home, before sports or challenging activity, etc. An Option (as a second phase): You can extend this exercise to include the upper arm. Make a fist with your right hand and raise your right forearm slowly up to your shoulder to make a muscle”. Hold for 10 seconds. Bring the forearm back down slowly and release the fist. Relax for 15 seconds. Make a fist with your left hand and raise your left forearm slowly up to your shoulder to “make a muscle”. Hold for 10 seconds. Bring the forearm back down slowly and release the fist. Relax for 15 seconds. © AQR International 2016

MAKING A FIST Background One of the body’s responses to fear, anxiety and pressure is muscle tension and/or disrupted or faster breathing. This is a result of the “fight or flight response” humans developed thousands of years ago when dealing with threats from sabre toothed tigers and the like. Unfortunately we still respond like this even to imagined threats. It heightens our sense of “anxiety” and can help to create those “panic moments” – this impacts on our confidence, our sense of control, our response to challenge and our determination or commitment to deliver. Controlled breathing is especially important – most people only use 20% of their breathing capacity – a good and balanced supply of oxygen to the body is important for relaxation as well as response to activity. Discussion Guides:  How did the student feel before and after the exercise? (An option is to ask student’s score anxiety on a scale of 1 – 10 before and after the exercise).  If they feel the benefit, will they practice this regularly? Practice does make perfect.  Did they feel more positive after the exercise? Support Materials & Resources No special materials needed. © AQR International 2016

“The Scent of a Lemon” Exercise A Visualisation Exercise Running the exercise – A simple exercise which illustrates to students how important and how powerful visualisation is. 1. Explain to the student that they will do an exercise which will demonstrate the importance and power of visualisation – “mind over matter”. 2. Explain that: I am going to do an exercise with you where, I will be able to make you do something you don’t expect. I will make you respond to an image I will create with you in your mind. Show or project a picture of a lemon. Read the script for the exercise adding to it as you wish. It should take about 3 minutes to read it all out. Coach/Advisor Review Suggested questions: Are you surprised at your reaction to the imagery? What do you think this means? Does this sometimes mean that we imagine things to be fearful when they are not? So, if you can imagine something differently, you could be more positive and maybe happier? 3. Now apply it to something at university. Now, think about something that you need to do that is challenging – an assessment that is coming up, an assignment or a project that you have to complete. Close your eyes and imagine that you have finished it on time and that it has gone well and you have got a better than expected mark. How do you feel? Do you like that feeling? Now…when carrying out that task hold that thought and remember (visualise) that feeling. You should find that it drives you and you feel more in control. © AQR International 2016

“The Scent of a Lemon” Exercise Background This exercise demonstrates visualisation- the ability to use the inside of one’s head to imagine and feel a situation that is not actually there. However, psychologists tell us that the experience can be as real as if it really happened. We can also manipulate what’s in our heads – making it better, more positive, less threatening, etc.). Students should be able to connect anxiety control exercises and good preparation as ways of dealing with and avoiding the panic moments. Discussion Guides: Describe situations when you have stopped yourself doing something because you think you can’t when you probably can. Do you approach assignments, tests and exams with a “can do” frame of mind? This is how athletes train their minds – they visualise success. Some athletes have small podiums in their houses and stand on them to imagine how it feels to win. They like the feeling and it helps to drive them. This shows that they can manipulate ideas in their head – making them positive and dealing with negatives thoughts. This is a very good exercise to run together with other visualisation exercises. Support Materials & Resources A model script which takes 3 minutes to read. Picture of a lemon or lemons. © AQR International 2016

“The Scent of a Lemon” Exercise Briefing Note & Script Visualisation - The link between the psychological and the physiological Show the class a picture of a lemon, preferably with some already cut into slices or in two. Ask them to relax and suggest that they close their eyes for this exercise although it works well enough if they keep their eyes open and look at the picture of lemons. When ready, read off the following script, in a calm and level voice, slowly and steadily (not monotonous), emphasising some of the imagery you wish to project. Ask the class to imagine doing what you are about to describe. Allow time between paragraphs for them to form pictures in their mind. Check from time to time that they are visualising what you want them to visualise. Imagine you are sat in front of a bowl of lemons. You look at them. They are bright yellow and plump – they are in peak condition. They are nicely ripe. You can already detect a faint citrus aroma in the room. (Allow a few seconds for people to be able to form this image in their mind). You reach forward and pick one up. It feels heavy and full of juice. You can feel the coarse skin of the lemon as you trace your finger across the surface. Can you imagine and feel that? You hold it to your nose and the lemony aroma is now a little bit stronger. With your fingernail you gently scrape the surface of the lemon. This releases some of the lemony oils which are in the peel. The scent of lemon is even stronger now. (Pause again for a few seconds for people to be able to form this image in their mind). Can you smell that? It’s a pleasant sharp clean smell. It might remind you of some of your favourite food too – lemon chicken and maybe lemon mayo. Next you reach for a sharp knife and holding the lemon on a chopping board, you carefully cut the lemon in two. Now the lemon smell is much stronger. You can really smell the zesty aroma of the lemon peel. You can also smell the sharper aroma coming off the lemon juice that is now running on the chopping board. (Pause again for a few seconds for people to be able to form this image in their mind). You look at the cut surfaces of the lemon. They look shiny and fresh. The juice continues to run a little. You see that some of the lemon pips have been cut in half. They look like little pearls in the lemon flesh. That lemony citrusy scent is now really quite strong. It seems to bombard your senses. (Pause again for a few seconds for people to be able to form this image in their mind). You continue to slice the lemon. Again the lemony citrusy scent just seems to get stronger with each slice. As you cut through the zest the subtle aroma of the zest registers too. [Type text] © AQR International 2016

“The Scent of a Lemon” Exercise Some of the lemon juice has run onto your fingers. You lick a bit of the juice and you can now taste the sharp astringent taste of the lemon juice. You can feel your mouth pucker as the acidity hits the inside of your mouth. (Pause again for a few seconds for people to be able to form this image in their mind). Can you taste that acidity? Together with the scent of the lemon you now have a very clear sense of the lemon in the room. It’s something you quite like. Open your eyes. How many of you are now salivating? Why? There is no lemon in the room. How real was that experience? Most will now be salivating and will salivate quite strongly. They will have a clear sense of the scent of the lemon. Most will swear they can smell it in their nostrils. But there is no lemon in the room and they have not physically done any of the things they have imagined. But the body (or more specifically the mouth) has responded exactly as if the lemons were in the room and they had cut the lemon and dealt with it as described. This describes a powerful phenomenon. When we imagine things, they can be as real as if we had physically carried them out. “We are what we think!” Psychologists show that we can think ourselves into action and think ourselves out of action just by visualising something as being difficult or being interesting and challenging. It’s important to visualise and develop a positive mindset when doing things that challenge us or scare us a little, like exams or doing presentations or dealing with heights. The great thing is that the mind is one of the best places to practice and to train. You can stop things in your head that worry or frighten you and you can think about how you would cope better or deal with the situation you are imagining. It’s safe and the learning is as real as doing it. [Type text] © AQR International 2016

PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION A Relaxation/Anxiety Control Exercise Running the exercise - A highly participative exercise which can be run comfortably and repeatedly as a part of a one to one session. A cycle will take on average 10 minutes. 1. The student should do this sitting down. They will do an exercise where they will be shown a way of releasing tension. When anxious, the body reacts by tightening muscles. Bringing this under control helps to release the tension. 2. Explain that: You do this exercise on your own. Sit comfortably with a straight back. Tell yourself that you are going to relax. Slow your breathing. We are going to do an exercise called Progressive Muscular Relaxation – it’s a very well-known technique. We will go around the body tensing and then relaxing muscles. By the end you should be very relaxed. At each step, tense the muscle slowly, hold it for 5 seconds and then relax for about 10 – 15 seconds before the next step in the cycle. Say “Relax!” as you relax each muscle. Think about your muscles relaxing while you do this. The sequence is as follows: 1. Right hand and forearm. Make a fist with your right hand. 2. Right upper arm. Bring your right forearm up to your shoulder to “make a muscle”. 3. (2 steps) Repeat for the left hand and for the left upper arm. 4. Forehead. Raise your eyebrows as high as they will go, as if surprised. 5. Mouth and jaw. Open your mouth as wide as you can, as if yawning. 6. Neck. Be careful as you tense these muscles. Face forward and then pull your head back slowly, as though you are looking up to the ceiling. 7. Shoulders. Tense the muscles in your shoulders as you bring your shoulders up towards your ears. 8. Shoulder blades/Back. Push your shoulder blades back, trying to almost touch them together, so that your chest is pushed forward. 9. Chest and stomach. Breathe in deeply, filling up your lungs and chest with air. 10. Hips and bottom. Squeeze your bottom muscles. 11. Right upper leg. Tighten your right thigh. 12. Right lower leg. Do this slowly and carefully to avoid cramps. Pull your toes towards you to stretch the calf muscle. 13. Right foot. Curl your toes downwards. 14. (3 steps) Repeat for left foot and left upper and lower leg. © AQR International 2016

PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION Coach/Advisor Review Ask the student to describe how they feel. Can they feel the tension draining away from their muscles? Do they feel more positive? Remind them that this is a thorough exercise that they should practice whenever they can – at least twice a week. The more they practice the better this works. Later they can focus this exercise on specific groups of muscles – which makes the exercise quicker and sometimes easier. Background One of the body’s responses to fear, anxiety and pressure is muscle tension. This is a result of the “fight or flight response” humans developed thousands of years ago when dealing with threats from sabre toothed tigers and the like. Unfortunately we still respond like this even to imagined threats. It heightens our sense of “anxiety” and can help to create those “panic moments” – this has an impact on our confidence, our sense of control, our response to challenge and our determination or commitment to deliver. Controlled breathing is especially important – most people only use 20% of their breathing capacity – a good and balanced supply of oxygen to the body is important for relaxation as well as response to activity. Discussion Guides:  How did they feel before and after the exercise? (An option is to ask a student to score their anxiety level on a scale of 1 – 10 before and after).  If they feel the benefit, will they practice this regularly? Practice does make perfect.  Did they feel more positive after the exercise? Support Materials & Resources No special materials needed. Ideally the student should wear loose clothing. © AQR International 2016

Goal Setting Exercise What is my Goal Exercise Running the exercise – This exercise usually takes around 30 minutes to complete. Setting goals gives meaning and direction and can be used for small or big tasks. Explain to the student that goal setting is a good way of approaching new challenges. Explain that: The aim of the exercise is to explore a number of themes: 1. The first question will be ‘what is my goal?’ Get the student to think about this for a couple of minutes. They can decide what their goal is – but remember to be realistic. If their goal is to win the lottery just remind them of the odds! The goal can be directed by the coach/advisor (a piece of work) or the student can identify their own goal, personal or academic. Get them to write it in the box titled, ‘what is my goal?’ 2. Ask them to think about the practicalities of completing the goal as well as their commitment and challenge to the task. 3. Get them to think about why this goal is important to them – what will happen by completing it? Who will benefit? How will it make them feel achieving it? The total time for this exercise is 30 – 45 minutes Coach/Advisor Review This exercise will get students thinking about what they want to achieve and how they are going to do it. By identifying the elements that will get them there, the task will seem less daunting and large. Offering advice around who could help them/where they could go for information and other prompts will allow them to see the task as achievable. © AQR International 2016

Goal Setting Exercise NOTE – Coach/Advisor review: There is an option to include the SMART Target setting process within this exercise if the group is responding positively. You can use this Cue card in conjunction with the SMARTER Cue card to expand the exercise. Another Cue card which may be useful to include in this exercise is the Eating an Elephant card. Background The simple definition of goal setting is the process of identifying something that one wants to complete or achieve and setting a process out in which order to be successful. The aim is to guide and motivate a person so that they can accomplish small tasks which will contribute to the final outcome. It is a major component in sport and personal development. Much work around goal setting has been within the world of work by authors such as Edwin Locke. Support Materials & Resources Pens and scrap paper (for writing ideas down) Smart Target worksheet © AQR International 2016

Number Grid Concentration Exercise Running the exercise - Paper and pencil version- run in up to 4 cycles, enabling learning from each cycle to be applied to the next attempt. 1. You need a stopwatch (on your smart phone) and copies of the number grid to enable the student to complete it twice. The student needs a pen or pencil. 2. Explain that they will do an exercise which will “test” their ability to focus. They must also follow your instructions closely…and must not cheat. 3. Issue a sheet to the student (say, sheet with Grids A and B). Place the sheet in front of them with Grid B facing upwards. 4. Explain that: When I say “GO” you can turn the sheet over and work on the Number Grid which is now facing up (Grid A). This avoids people “cheating” by looking ahead. Turning the sheet over, you need to find 00, cross it off, then 1, cross it off and so on. You must do this strictly in sequence – no cheating – no skipping numbers. You have 90 seconds. The last number crossed off will obviously be your score. 5. Run one round. Shout “Stop” when time is up. You can use different time intervals - up to 3 minutes works. Coach/Advisor Review Ask the student how they scored, more than 25 (rare). Most first time scores are around the 12 – 18 mark. If they had a high score ask the student how they achieved that. If they had a low score ask what they found difficult or challenging. Encourage a short discussion on how they might improve their score. 6. Re-run the exercise three more times, each time challenge the student to improve their scores. Coach/Advisor Review – after each round Ask the student’s new score after each round. Over time everyone should improve on their original score and will be concentrating like mad. Encourage the student to:  Reflect on what they have done and what they have learned  Identify what they can do to improve concentration  Think how they can apply this to coursework, study, reading, etc. © AQR International 2016

Number Grid Concentration Exercise Background This is an exercise which is engaging and illustrates the value of repeated practice as well as concentration. It involves everyone in debate. It has the advantage that it has a built in scoring mechanism which enables progression to be assessed. Improving Attention Control i.e. the ability to focus longer and to focus better can produce some of the biggest boost to productivity, learning and wellbeing. Studies show that it is possible to improve attention span from an (UK) average of 8 minutes to 45+ minutes. Not only enabling students to be more productive but it takes the stress out of such activities. Discussion Guides: Why does the student think their score has changed (hopefully up)? Do people feel more positive and more focused? What difference does this make for them? E.g. when reading or writing? Why do they think concentration helps performance, wellbeing and behaviour? Reflection will usually produce a crop of answers around three themes: 1. Techniques – often to do with organising themselves. 2. Setting goals and targets and steadily working towards them. th 3. Concentrating and blocking out distractions…By the 4 cycle students will often be so focused on the exercise that they fail to notice what anyone else I doing. This illustrates that improving focus can be learned and that most can work it out from themselves or by talking to others. This is experiential learning. Support Materials & Resources Pre-printed A4 sheets specially designed for this with double sided grids are available to download. An on-line version is available on http://www.salticid.com/concentration.htm The grid is automatically refreshed randomly each use. It is impossible to cheat. You can alter the dimensions of the grid to make it more difficult over time. It assesses time taken to complete a grid, which makes it useful for developing attention span. It is useful for students who want to practice learning how to focus better and for longer at home. © AQR International 2016

Attentional Control Exercise Number Grid A Below is a number grid containing the numbers 00-99. When instructed to, mark off in sequence as many consecutive numbers as possible in 90 seconds starting with the number 00. 24 43 58 90 49 67 89 86 62 50 3 64 76 84 10 52 27 94 8 77 92 45 53 37 29 17 54 42 19 99 81 00 22 57 31 96 39 12 33 20 25 36 65 88 14 2 78 85 47 87 56 13 6 74 48 23 90 73 98 91 60 41 80 5 11 51 68 38 72 83 97 75 34 79 26 46 82 9 63 16 35 44 21 40 1 69 61 7 55 71 4 30 93 66 59 32 18 70 28 15 © AQR International 2016

Number Grid B Below is a number grid containing the numbers 00-99. When instructed to, mark off in sequence as many consecutive numbers as possible in 90 seconds starting with the number 00. 34 10 26 82 9 50 73 37 38 19 67 56 66 35 59 81 91 2 49 20 45 72 39 84 80 15 92 86 74 30 11 42 83 51 90 25 40 87 48 41 63 16 31 79 58 36 97 3 70 88 22 62 12 52 68 96 27 60 99 21 46 85 44 61 89 1 93 14 95 57 32 5 23 76 00 43 78 4 98 13 6 55 69 17 54 94 53 64 71 47 33 7 29 18 75 24 77 8 65 28 © AQR International 2016

“3 STEP Self-Belief Builder!” Self-efficacy refers to one's belief in one's ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. One's sense of self-efficacy can play a major role in how one approaches goals, tasks, and challenges. There are 3 activities we can do to develop our self-efficacy, which will build out mental toughness across all of the 4Cs – control, commitment, challenge and confidence. These 3 activities include; 1. Performance Appraisals 2. Vicarious Experience 3. Constructive Feedback This activity can be completed for 20 minutes over a series of session with the student. Stage 1: Performance Appraisals Ask the student to write down 5-10 examples of accomplishments they are proud of, this could be achieving a good grade, being nominated for something etc. Then ask the student to write down 5-10 examples of times when they failed to deal with a task or challenge, or did not do as well as they expected. 1. Review both lists with the student and ask them consider the reasons why certain times they achieved their goals, vs other times when they did not. 2. What they could have done to have had a more positive outcome. Background: The experience of mastery influences your perspective on your abilities. Discussing successful experiences lead to greater feelings of self-efficacy. However, failing to deal with a task or challenge can also undermine and weaken self-efficacy, so it is important to reflect and discuss times of failure, and what the causes of the failure might have been. Stage 2: Vicarious Experience/Modelling Think of someone in your life who you find inspirational or would consider successful in their life, this could be a parent, or even a friend who is doing particularly well in their studies etc. © AQR International 2016

“3 STEP Self-Belief Builder!” If possible interview them, asking specially what their ‘strategies of success’ are, what advice do they have for achieving certain goals, can they think of specific examples in their life? 1. Ask the student to write down these ‘success strategies’ in a way they understand. 2. Review this list with the student during the next session, considering; are these techniques they could use themselves? Why do they think they enhance the chances of success? Background: Hearing how someone else performed a task or handled a situation can help you to perform a similar task or handle a similar task by imitation, and if you succeed in performing a task, you are likely to think that you will succeed as well, if the task is not too difficult. Hearing how other people succeed will increase your beliefs that you can master a similar activity, by modelling their behaviours. Stage 3: Verbal Persuasion/Constructive Feedback Ask the student to think and then write down a list of any positive feedback they can find written down or remember regarding their performance on tasks. This could be positive feedback on an assignment, verbal feedback regarding their performance that they were given by someone they worked with, a reference letter from a job or internship they did etc. Background: When other people encourage and provide positive feedback on task performance, you tend to believe that you are more capable of performing other similar tasks. Constructive feedback is important in maintaining a sense of efficacy as it may help overcome self-doubt. © AQR International 2016

“3 STEP Self-Belief Builder!” The student will now have 3 pages or so of self-belief building material in the form of; 1. Performance Appraisals 2. Vicarious Experience 3. Constructive Feedback They can review these materials on a weekly basis and add to it when possible. Coach/Advisor Review How do they feel reviewing the information? Do they feel they can implement some of the success strategies in their life? Do they feel more confident in achieving their goals? How interesting was it to hear other people success strategies? Support Materials & Resources Paper and Pencil © AQR International 2016

Making Affirmations An exercise which shows you how to develop positive thinking which impacts on all components of Mental Toughness but especially Confidence and Control. Running the exercise – The student will need a sheet of paper. This runs in two phases: Phase One: Ask the student to draw a line down the centre of the sheet of paper. Tell them they have one minute to write, on one side of the line, five weaknesses they think they have. Then tell them they have one minute to write down five strengths on the other side of the line. (NOTE: this can be in general or could be discussed in relation to the student’s desired career goal/ career path, for example what weaknesses do they feel they may have which might hold them back from being successful in their desired field, vs what strengths do they feel they have which might drive their success forward?) Discuss with the student which they found easier to do? Discuss with the student why might that be? Coach/Advisor Review We find it easier to think about our weakness than our strengths. And that can hold us back. We are what we think! You have amazing power over yourself because everything you know, do or feel is based on what’s going on in your head. If we think negative thoughts or critical or demeaning thoughts these affect what we do. These are called self-limiting beliefs and they can build up. A way of dealing with this is to develop “affirmations”. Affirmations are positive statements that we adopt and keep in the mind to feel more positive, like a personal slogan! © AQR International 2016

Making Affirmations Phase Two - Affirmations Tell the student: On the back of your sheet of paper, I want you to develop and write short statements that you can hold in your head and that you can use every time you have to do something challenging, difficult or risky. Note: This can be done with the student if this is part of a coaching session or you can ask the student to do this on their own. Tell the student: You will have 15 minutes to develop two or three affirmations. To make a good one they need to be:  In the present tense  Be positively phrased (not “I won’t do this anymore”)  Make you feel good when you think or say it (it’s called an emotional reward) Here are some examples (see over leaf) Coach/Advisor Review Is the student happy with their affirmations? Will they commit to using them? Ask them to run the phrases though their heads and check if they feel more positive. Lots of athletes use affirmations to deal with setbacks. Background This is an exercise widely used in sport to help athletes to either deal with setback or to prepare themselves for a challenge or a new situation which might take them out of their comfort zone. Support Materials & Resources None – other than sheet of paper. Participants should record their affirmations somewhere – a diary, on a phone etc. © AQR International 2016

Making Affirmations Sample Affirmations:  I am a calm, methodical and efficient worker.  I can make a difference.  I can achieve difficult tasks.  I work well under pressure.  I enjoy solving problems.  I love that feeling of having achieved so much in a day.  I enjoy being calm when others around me are not.  I am going to learn from what I do – even if challenging.  I will rise to the occasion.  I am going to learn how to enjoy doing new things. © AQR International 2016

GANTT Chart Exercise A Goal Setting Exercise Running the exercise – The student will need access to the GANTT chart worksheet in order to complete the exercise. This exercise usually takes around 30 minutes to complete – regular updates during your coaching sessions will be useful to follow progress on chart with the student. Explain to the student that a Gantt chart is a visual representation of a schedule that is used to ensure all components/actions are completed in time so the project runs smoothly. Let them know it is used widely in the world of work and is used in sectors from building cars to making sure shopping turns up at your doorstep on time! Explain that: The Gantt Chart Worksheet will act as their guide to getting from the start point of an activity, to the end point. This can be a project or a piece of coursework, assignment, or act as a guide for their revision. The aim of the exercise is to 1. Identify a project or piece of work that needs to be completed within a specific timeframe. They can choose their project from any aspect of their life. Give them examples such as completing coursework, running an event, planning for the future or securing a summer internship. 2. Get the student to think about what actions need to take place and when. Ask them to think about which ones will have an impact on others if they are not completed on time. 3. Get them to think about how long each action will/should take. Use the chart to begin to plot these down. 4. Ask the student to think of any actions that will overlap in time. Will this have an impact on them? How will they deal with it? 5. When they have completed the chart get them to review it. Does it look achievable? If not, why? What will influence the outcome? 6. Ask them to think about the resources and external influences that might have an effect on the schedule. 7. At the end, ask them if they are happy with the plan and whether they believe they can complete the project/piece of work. The total time for this exercise is 30 – 45 minutes. © AQR International 2016

GANTT Chart Exercise Coach/Advisor Review This exercise will get the student thinking about what they want to achieve and how they are going to do it. By identifying the elements that will get them to the end point, the task will seem less daunting and not as large. Offering advice around who could help them/where they could go for information and other prompts will allow them to see the task as achievable. Get the student to think about how this will help with the stress of a big project. Will it make it easier? NOTE: Using the GANTT chart is a positive method of breaking down a larger piece of work into more manageable chunks. This will allow the student to realise that they can do small pieces of work and build that up into a larger outcome. Time management enters this aspect of work through the GANTT chart also. This will help with coursework and other areas of their life. Try to ensure that a student does not make the chart too overcomplicated. If this happens the chart can become daunting and have a negative impact. Background The Gantt Chart is a type of bar chart (lots of examples are downloadable from the internet) that is used to illustrate a project schedule. By breaking the work into pieces and showing their relationship between each other (their dependency) it offers a clear and efficient way of managing a project or piece of work. Heavily used in the world of work, this skill can be applied in most, if not all environments. Support Materials & Resources Pens and scrap paper (for writing ideas down) GANTT chart worksheet © AQR International 2016

“Confidence Booster” Exercise A Confidence Building Exercise Running the exercises – this exercise usually takes 40 minutes. Explain to the student that confidence is said to be like a muscle – the more you use it the stronger it gets. Explain that this activity will enable them to grow their confidence, and as it grows they will be able to challenge themselves more and more to ensure it keeps growing over time and that they reach more of their goals in life. Ask the student to: 1) Confidence List: Write a list from 1-10 of things that will take you just outside of your comfort zone. This could include speaking up in a lecture or class, nominating yourself to speak on behalf of your group during a team project, or joining a new gym class etc. Then, 2) Success List: Write down a second list of 1-10 things/activities which you think would help you reach your current goals, for example; studying for a certain amount of time per day, writing a certain number of words for an assignment etc. Encourage the student to start small with things that make them feel just a little bit anxious, or a small short term goal, and add more to each list as they can think of them. Tell the student: 2) Every day for the next month complete one of the items on either list. And every evening write down: “Today I was confident and I did…” Then add: “Tomorrow I will be confident and I will do… [Another item on the list]”. © AQR International 2016

“Confidence Booster” Exercise Or if it is an activity was from the Success List write down: “Today I was successful and I did…” then ask: “Tomorrow I will be successful and I will achieve… [another item on the list]”. If there is something you don't feel able to tackle yet, that is OK – just keep building your confidence and come back to it another day. During each coaching session review the student’s list of things they were confident doing and achievements they have completed throughout the course of the week. Coach/Advisor Review This is a simple task which will provide an overview for the students of their achievements both in trying new things and working towards their goals. It is important to review the student’s successes overtime to see how they are progressing. Ask them:  How did you feel completing this new activity or completing a short team goal related activity?   Did it feel good and enjoyable? Do you feel more confident in completing similar activities now? Support Materials & Resources There are no materials needed apart from pen and paper. © AQR International 2016

Pre- Exam Nerves - Tips Overview Developing mental toughness in individuals will help most to deal with pre- examination pressures. The mentally tough will see the examination as an opportunity to show the examiner what they are capable of achieving. However, there are things that all students can do to manage pre-exam nerves. These include: Revising before you sleep Apparently, people remember best what they do just before they go to sleep. Discuss with the student how they can make audio recordings of material they want to remember – key points, facts, important themes etc. and listen to them just before they go to sleep. Both the act of creating the audio and to listening helps retention. This is a technique often used by actors to memorise their lines. Research (University of Basle) shows that mentally tough students are able to sleep better than mentally sensitive students do and it translates into better performance. Creating Visuals Students can often remember material in visual form more easily than they can recall words or sounds. Discuss with the student the idea of creating flow charts, images, pictures, outlines, etc. to revision material can help learning. Stimulating Long Term Memory When taking on board new information, the brain often needs time to process it and make sense of it. That is another reason why revising before sleep can help. Another approach to improving long-term memory is to take the material and prepare it in another format. If verbal – create a picture. If visual – describe it in words. Create lists, acronyms, mnemonics, and flow charts – especially when building knowledge about a subject. © AQR International 2016

Pre- Exam Nerves - Tips High performers will often take time to re-organise material so that they can remember it better. Managing Anxiety Everyone experiences nerves and anxiety before any stressful event such as an examination. The more successful are able to manage their anxiety. Many of the breathing and muscular control exercise elsewhere in this kit are extremely useful as are some of the visualisation exercises. These easy exercises can also help:  A couple of weeks before an exam, students can write down their concerns and fears on a piece of paper. It is easier for them to be objective about those fears if they are transferred out of their heads and onto the paper. This can be completed during a coaching session, ask the student to prepare a list of their fears and bring this to your next coaching session. One on one, ask the student to consider how they might deal with these fears. Has there been times in the past where they have concurred their fears? What strategies did they use then? Working in Bursts It is useful to improve attention span. Some of the exercises in the Commitment section of the toolkit help people to do that. However, revision can be an intense activity and it is useful to encourage people to work in bursts of 20 minutes, taking a break for a few minutes before embarking on another burst. It can also be useful to change what is being worked on regularly. Background These tips work for many but may not work for all. They are all worth trying. Support Materials & Resources No special materials required. © AQR International 2016

COLOUR CHANGING CARD TRICK A Concentration Exercise – This is an excellent icebreaker, especially as an introduction to Commitment or Attentional Control exercises. It’s also a fun exercise. It takes about 10 mins – more with discussion. Running the exercise – The video for this is on YouTube - goo.gl/DZIKxS I am going to show you a YouTube clip. All instructions are in the clip. We’re going to see how good you are at concentrating. Run video and stop it at 1 minute and 14 seconds Check how many changes did you notice? (The correct answer is 4 which is shortly explained in the video) Run video through to the end Check how many changes take place. Coach/Advisor Review: Why do you think you didn’t notice the changes? How often do you miss something because you concentrate too hard? Or you are focused on one thing only? Coach/Advisor Review: People who fail to see something right in front of them while they are focusing on something else have a lower 'working memory capacity' - a measure of attention control, or the ability to focus attention when and where needed, and on more than one thing at a time. In other words some people can multitask, others can’t. It’s working memory. What you need now. Not long term memory where we learn to store data and facts. It explains for instance why some people have accidents – they genuinely didn’t see what was happening in front of them Support Materials & Resources YouTube clip © AQR International 2016

Do Something Nice for Yourself Background When your self-esteem and self-confidence is low, we tend to believe and think that we do not deserve anything good. For this reason, we may not allow ourselves to enjoy life to the fullest. A great way to improve your self-image, and in turn your self-confidence is learning to love yourself, and show appreciation for yourself. Explain to the student that they can do this by doing something nice that would make them happy. This could include for example, booking a spa session, getting a new haircut, or buying a new item of clothing. Ask the student to make a list of 10 ‘nice things’ they could do for themselves, and ask them to try to complete at least 2 per week. Coach/Advisor Review Does the individual sense a change in their mood after completing these kinds of activities. Do they feel a boost in their confidence? What do they think are the benefits? Review Research has shown that doing something nice for yourself will make you feel better about who you are, which will certainly improve your self-esteem, and overall confidence. Support Materials & Resources Paper and pencil. © AQR International 2016

An Interpersonal Confidence Building Exercise Running the exercise – this is a two part exercise which focuses specifically on developing interpersonal confidence. Scientists have discovered two ways which have been proven to enhance our confidence: 1. Shifting your attention 2. Acting like a confident person 1. Shifting our attention from ourselves, to the person we are talking to. Explain to the student that one of the reasons we might feel less confident in social situations is because we often focus on ourselves and have negative thoughts such as “Do I look nervous?” or “Am I being too quiet?’’, which can make us feel even less confident and decreases our chances of speaking up. Explain to the student that instead of doing this, it is beneficial to focus on the person we are talking to, and try to come up with questions about them. For example if someone has said they work in a bank, you could ask them ‘Which Bank?’, ‘How long have they worked there?’ ‘Do they enjoy their job?’ Once you do this a few times it will become automatic, your conversations will flow more effortlessly as you can ask new questions to move the conversation forward. In addition most people also enjoy talking about themselves! 2. Acting like a confident person A second method of developing self-confidence is to actually ‘act confident’. Studies have shown that if we act in a confident way we actually do develop our self- confidence over time. Ask the student to think of a confident person, this could be someone in the media, for example an actor or politician etc. and then complete the second box on the next page, and consider if they could try emulating some of the qualities/behaviours they’ve written down. © AQR International 2016