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Table of Content 1 iSHINE MAGAZINE The Cover ✓ The C.U.R.E. ✓ Domestic Violence & Breast Cancer ✓ A&M Media Boost ✓ From the Editors’ Desk ✓ I Shine Poem – Prettii Dope ✓ Marketing Director – Rhonda Turner ✓ A&M Contributing Writers October Edition ✓ The Cure – “CEO’s United Reach Everywhere” ✓ Domestic Violence o We Are, Inc. o What is Domestic Violence- Matthew Santana o I Survived Charlotte Gillespie ✓ Voice – Ilyasha Simpson ✓ The C.U.R.E. ✓ The Art of Communication- Latosha Clemons ✓ IShine Podcast ✓ No… Is A Grace Word – Linda Muhammad ✓ Matthew Santana o Breast Cancer & Domestic Violence o Transitional Empowerment Life Coach ✓ No Longer Surviving as A Victim but Thriving in My Purposeful – Natashah Khan ✓ The Coach’s Corner How to Achieve Peace Within- Jeff Releford
Table of Content 2 iSHINE MAGAZINE ✓ Married Couples Conversation Starters - Deborah Cooper ✓ What Can Cause Me to Have Bad Credit – Jennifer Williams ✓ Prettii Dope Enterprise ✓ Winning The Fight of Your Life – P’Angela Jones ✓ Cameo Bobo ✓ Managing VS Balancing Life Done Well – Denise Henry ✓ Breast Cancer Awareness Month o I AM A SURVIVAL ✓ Ladies of Futurity – Tracey & Amaris Graham ✓ CAPS ““Helping Student's Gain Access to College- Tracey Graham ✓ Dining A Success ✓ What Do You Do When Your Unmotivated – Chanelle Lawson ✓ A Note To Self – Karla Beedles ✓ Rich Girls – Karla Beedles ✓ Domestic Violence Resources-Matthew Santana Jr. Back Cover- The C.U.R.E.
Editor in Chief iSHINE Magazine From the Editors’ Desk Angela Lewis A NOTE FROM THE EDITORS 10.1.21 Matthew Santana Jr. FIGHT! October is a month that addresses the fight-the fight against breast cancer and the fight against domestic violence. Breast cancer is the second most common cancer among women in the United States. Statistically, 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of their lifetime, and black women die from it at a higher rate than white women. Every year more than 10 million men and women in the U.S. are subjected to domestic violence. That's approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men who will experience physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. With statistics like these, chances are you know someone, or you are the one who has experienced one or both. It is more critical than ever to shine a bright light on the mandate to bring awareness of the fight to find a cure for breast cancer and the fight to end domestic violence. This October let's acknowledge domestic violence survivors and be a voice for its victims. Let us also raise awareness of the impact of breast cancer and support our sisters and brothers who this awful disease has touched. Let's join and be intentional, not only for this month but for the days, weeks, months, and years to come. This issue of iShine is dedicated to the ones who are in the fight, lost the fight, and won the fight. We Love and Salute YOU!
I Shine Like the starts in the night sky, I shine. I shine. Leading the way to better things Bright, like the sun I shine. I am the North Star! Center stage, the brightest in the room. Even when I am amongst brighter Even through life’s obstacles, lights I’m firmly planted, my crown in place You’ll find me, as bright as ever! And I shall not be moved! “It is our Light not our darkness that most frightens us” they say Yet, like the Sun, But I am more than a conqueror! Humble enough to give way to the moon, So I ain’t afraid I let my sister shine. I shine! Fixing her crown In spite of, I say “Baby, it’s your time!” I shine! Just as God sets a table for me Because of, I set the stage for my sisters I shine! Standing off in the wings, you’ll find me And in addition to, As the Sun illuminates the Moon. I SHINE! I Shine! -Prettii Dope Like the Moon I shine. In My fullness, Shining, When life has me at half mass? Still shining! As the moon seeks the light of the Sun I look to the hills form which cometh my help. And each night as the Sun sets, Still I Rise! I shine!
Rhonda Williams-Turner Marketing Director As your A & M Marketing Director, it is important that I make your dreams and plans come true. Important that A & M implement and manages your project with a strong background in developing customized advertising initiatives combined with an innovative approach to cross-platform marketing. Marketing your business in our online magazine helps your business connect with other businesses, from operations to editorial, advertising, and circulation around your network. We understand the value of our audience-first approach and are constantly looking to build relationships to achieve platform growth. With in-depth knowledge and experience in cutting-edge media, including online media and specialist magazines, custom magazines, online, brand extensions and books with the demonstrated ability to identify cost- effectiveness and efficiencies in existing business A & M is here for you. A & M is a hands-on business with the ability to lead, motivate, and coordinate the best editorial and technical team to achieve above expectations. We want to thank you for supporting A & M iShine Magazine where you shine… I shine… then we all will shine. Rhonda Williams-Turner
WE ARE THE C.U.R.E. BUSINESS TOUR CEO’S UNITED REACH EVERYWHERE
The C.U.R.E. 6 City Business Tour mission is to simply educate our entrepreneurs on how to structure their businesses to the next level on all levels pertaining to business. Our speakers will educate our business professionals on how to build business credit, branding, business coaching, and health. We are super excited to bring such a wonderful tour to the cities listed below. One thing Covid- 19 taught us is not to rely on one stream of income. There has been an increase in new businesses being birthed across the country. We would like to offer our expertise to help our entrepreneurs stay in business. This community event will provide an opportunity to… • Gain or expand visibility in the community • Participate in a successful community event • Support an event that directly benefits entrepreneurs, and influencers The 6 City Lineup: Gary, Indiana – August 14, 2021 Marshall J. Gardner Center of the Arts Nashville, TN – November 19, 2021 The Entrepreneur Center Atlanta, GA – TBA Dallas, Tx & Houston, Tx – TBA Chicago, IL – TBA
WE ARE THE C.U.R.E.! Gain or expand visibility in the community Participate in a successful community event Support an event that directly benefits entrepreneurs, and influencers
We Are Overcomers, We Are Beautiful, We Are Powerful, We Are Loved, We Are Worthy, We Are Chosen by God Our Maker, We Are A Royal Priesthood, We Are Made In HIs Image, and We Are Valuable and Significant! We Are All That and more!! Motto: “Step into your Queendom and Unleash your Queen!!!” Vision: Encourage and Empower Women to end Domestic Violence & Abuse by building a united community of Over Comers cultivating awareness, providing resource and education. Mission: Connection with Overcomer’s to raise awareness of all forms of DV&A thru education and resources and connection. To Restore, Heal, and Rehabilitate lives. Rebuilding is one of the keys for \"self-love\" and simply knowing that We Are God's Chosen Beautiful Queens! Target audience: All women of all walks of life!
Domestic Violence Awareness By Matthew Santana Jr. What is Domestic Violence? Domestic abuse or domestic violence is any act of abuse, intimidation, or terror, committed deliberately against a partner, spouse, parent, or child for the purpose of controlling their behavior in an unhealthy manner. ·Every 9 seconds, someone is being battered by a family member or domestic partner in the United States. It is important to keep in mind that abuse is not a result of the abuser losing control of himself or herself out of anger. Abusers are trying to dominate and control their victim. There are several reasons we know that abusers are not losing control when they abuse the victim. ·Abusers are very specific in who they abuse. They do not \"lose control\" with friends, co-workers, or strangers who upset them, indicating that they have self-control. Instead, they wait until there are no witnesses and batter their chosen victim. ·When it is to their advantage, abusers can stop battering, examples include times when the police arrive or a relative or neighbor shows up to intervene. By the time a witness shows up, the abuser usually appears calm and serene. The abuser is usually selective about where he or she punches or kicks in order to hide the evidence of the assault. An enraged or out of control attacker could not control where the blows landed.
IF YOU SUSPECT YOU MAY BE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, TAKE THIS SELF-ASSESSMENT. Domestic Abuse Self-Assessment Does your partner: ·Threaten you or your family or friends. ·Destroy your personal belongings or property that is important to you. ·Isolate you from friends or family. ·Make you feel guilty about your own decisions or choices. ·Intentionally humiliate or embarrass you. ·Physically attack you (shoving, hitting, choking, or slapping). ·Blame you for his or her behavior. ·Accuse you of cheating or of illicit activities with no foundation. ·Force you to have sex. ·Withhold affection or approval to punish you. ·Call you names or insult you. ·Imply that you would be unable to survive without them. ·Set goals that you know you will not be able to meet. If your partner has used these tactics in your relationships to manipulate or control you, he is committing acts of domestic abuse. If he has not already been physically violent with you, it is very likely that it will escalate to that point. Do you: By Matthew Santana Jr. ·Avoid certain topics of conversation for fear of angering your partner. ·Have the feeling that you are \"walking on eggshells\" waiting for the next time your partner will lash out. ·Believe that you cannot do anything right no matter how hard you try. ·Feel that you are emotionally deadened or numbed.
Charlotte Gillespie My name is Charlotte Gillespie. I am 28 years of age. I was born and raised in Olive Branch, Book Description: The book \"I Survived” is Mississippi. I have 1 brother by my mother and 3 a book of encouragement and my by my father. I was raised in Church... Accepted testimony. My story of how God Healed my Christ at an early age. I attended Olive Branch body after the doctors said \"NO\". 28 years Schools... Graduated in 2011 from Olive Branch later I'm still here. I want to encourage High School. I continued my education at people that what God did for me, he will do Northwest Community College for 2 years. I the same for you. I Survived with God by started working at a daycare in 2011, my last My Side. year of Highschool... Continued out my years of college .... Later became a full-time teacher, an assistant director, and before the shutdown of the Center, I became the director. As I worked and continued college I received my education in early childhood education. That is where and how I received my certificate to be a certified Childcare Director and Owner. I later began getting into the makeup business. Working and becoming an influencer for small MLM companies. Learning to do makeup became a part of me. As I continued that journey and along came the pandemic, I began to tell my story. I wrote my first book ... In May of 2021, I became a first-time author. My first book is entitled \"I Survived”. I have a story to tell to encourage men, women, boys, and girls that God Can and God Will. Contact me at 901-319-0544 or click to email me.
Minister Charge Imagine walking on the beach. The sound of the waves Pay attention to the voice. God is talking to you. crashing against the shore. The sun dancing on the You will know the difference. The sound of God is turquoise blue water. It appears as if it was all a dream. distinctive. The sound will be clear. You will not be As you are walking on the seashore, you stopped to gaze confused. God does not honor confusion. at the beauty of the ocean. You begin to hear a voice in your ear while experiencing the wind blowing. The voice However, God may tell you something unusual. Do was strong but faint yet commanding. The voice spoke a not shy away. Build a relationship with God. Make direct call of action. God your BFF. Sit close with HIM. Tell HIM all your problems. Release all authority up to HIM. Pull on How shall you respond? God’s attributes. Will you ignore it? Will you be obedient? Will you If you are experiencing turbulence in your life. question the entire experience? Turn off the loud noises around you. That includes people, places, and things. Pay close attention to Have you ever experienced God, ignored the voice of the message from God through the Holy Spirit. God while feeling the move of God? Your response would naturally flow to say. “Something happened. I Do not mix up your voice of what you want versus cannot explain it, but something happened” the voice from God towards what you need. I know this phase all too well. There were countless God shifts our atmospheres. God changes things. times throughout my life where I heard the voice, felt a God speaks to us. Pray and pay attention. shift, and ignored the command of that voice. I would say to myself, “I must be hearing things” or “Something The bible reads for us to turn from our evil ways. happened to me, I don’t know what”. We must change the way we act. We are not to worship any other God. Do not serve any other Did anyone else besides me look around to see if they Gods. God said if you do this, then you will live in were hearing things to also feel you were “bugging out”? the land that God promised us. But the key words are… We must listen to God. We must pay Guess what? You nor I were “bugging out”. It was not attention. (Jeremiah 35:15) just “something happened”. Stay ready. Stay Woke. It was the Holy Spirit talking to us. The Spiritual experience was the move of God. Ilyasah Simpson Before there is a move of God, it is preceded by a sound.
Carl Weatherspoon Jr. What is the physical substance of the human Jeff Releford organism, composed of living cells and extracellular materials and organized into tissues, Life coach Jeff will bring you to a new way of organs, and systems? I will be talking about the imagining your life by having you go through a body: the benefits of physical activity. diet quick method that can be used for your short- planning, and how to self-care for yourself. Your and long-term goals. You will be shifting your body is your most important asset, and we will be mindset, learning about your self-awareness, exploring that. and wrapping it into your call to action. With these elements you have the power to transform Carl Ivy Weatherspoon Jr. is an educator, your life and manifest your dreams and desires. entrepreneur, and community advocate, currently It’s time for you to dive in and finally claim what serving his hometown of Gary, Indiana. Ever is rightfully yours. It’s time to redirect regroup inspired by possibilities, Carl prides himself on and refocus. growth, innovation, and athleticism, which is evident in his most recent entrepreneurial ventures, Supa Sportz LLC, and Stack it up—a robotic weight stacker bound to revolutionize the health and wellness industry. Presently, Carl is the Founder / Director of Human Resources at CKW Sports Consulting where he wears multiple hats. In addition to supporting kids coaching Little League, he serves as a mentor for young men. Carl continues to delve into the athletic arena with his personal training certifications. He has a certificate in baseball analytics and continues to study the game in Logistics and Management. Mr. Weatherspoon brings his diverse interests and areas of expertise to every engagement. He is primarily focused on engaging in health and wellness, entrepreneurship, and innovation; however, he is open to consulting in any of the aforementioned areas.
Neopolis Malik Malachi Jennifer N Williams I, Neopolis Malik Malachi aka Generalhail, will be bringing light to the importance of privacy, What I am bringing to the business tour is simple!! life insurance asset protection, trust and Knowledge, expertise, and tips to becoming the estate planning but not limited to the truth best business professional that you can be. I want about credit, debt, and ownership. to tell people that you can have the total package as a business professional. You don’t have to lack Professional small business owner with a in any area of your life. To have a nice property multi-faceted background that has when it comes to building a home is structure. successfully grown over 50% in under 3 years. When you are becoming a business owner, you Key administrator in the development of must have STRUCTURE with your business. If annual business plans, forecasts, and budget there is no STRUCTURE things will collapse!! along with short-and-long term growth Become your own muse and level all the way up strategies. despite the naysayers!! With hard work, dedication, and sacrifice your business will I will be introducing and revealing some of the thrive!! most essential elements and universal concepts of financial literacy that are aimed Remember have a purpose for why you are doing towards generational wealth and financial the things that you are doing. If you base freedom. everything about money your business will not last!! Think long and hard as to where and how far you want your business to go. Take the leap of FAITH!!! Will it be easy? Nope!! Do it anyway!!! That is what I plan on bringing to this event, how to have it all with discipline and putting in some serious work!!!
Matthew S. Santana Jr. Bringing people together and help them reach their full potential has always been a passion of mine. I am bringing the gift of awakening by showing others how to become their brand and market and advertising themselves. When it comes to business you really must give it all you got. You must network, market, advertise and brand your business. Business networking is one of the most valuable resources for professional development and success. A good network can give career leads, opportunities for progress, and personal development. If you want to advance your career and boost your chances of professional success, you must understand the value of business networking. How to Create a Brand 1. Determine your target audience 2. Establish your mission statement 3. Define your values, features, and benefits 4. Create your visual assets 5. Find your brand voice 6. Put your branding to work Here’s how you can create a brand — or begin the process of rebranding your current one. There’s a lot that goes into a brand, and there’s a lot to consider when building a strong one. So, grab a notebook and jot down ideas as you move through this section. Recognize that branding is an iterative process, so you might be repeating some of these steps as you brainstorm and build your brand.
The Art of By Latosha Clemons Communication is a vital part of any organization’s success and should be handled with consistency and tact. When managing or leading others, it is very important to ensure that communication is effective and efficient. This is sometimes viewed based on perspective or perception which can lead to a breakdown resulting in a disequilibrium throughout the organization. The question is how do we as managers and leaders exemplify the organization’s mission with equity and transparency? How do we measure the communication abilities of our members? In your chosen profession, the Fire Service or divisions of Public Safety, communication is the glue that saves lives as well as the keep the business of the organization consistent. Whenever, there is a communication breakdown between working crews and Incident Command or other sector officers, the domino effect, that capacitate firefighters start to assemble quickly. One of the biggest concerns we have individually and collectively is the safety and well-being of each other; this includes constructive communication that prevent injuries or death. With this being said, how we develop communication skills in the people we lead.
The Art of It’s been said that communication is like a In order to polish our communication, we thread that holds everything together, and need to have a basic understanding of without it, everything falls apart. It’s the what communication is and how it most important skill that we all should be functions. The most important concept polishing and is the result of most to grasp is that communication is a workplace problems. Amongst HR dynamic process that’s never constant. Professionals, it’s been said that 68% of What we usually communicate can have workplace problems are due to insufficient a huge impact on our relationships communication, not enough professionally and personally. The great communication or too much Dr. Maya Angelou once quoted, “I’ve communication that says absolutely learned that People will forget what you nothing as its root cause (Jett, P). said, people will forget what you did, but Communication is an ever-changing people will never forget how you made process that can be challenging if not them feel”. This all stems from delivered effectively between the sender communication. Everything that we say and the receiver. and do all have influence weather it’s negative or positive. This can be done in several ways, One-on-One Meetings A suggested format for the meeting is that it should only consume 30 minutes-10 minutes for the subordinate, 10 minutes for the supervisor and 10 minutes to discuss development. These meetings should be held in a place that affords some privacy, but do not necessarily have to be behind closed doors. A couple of chairs and a cup of coffee can provide an acceptable, relaxed atmosphere.
The Art of . Four specific goals of these meetings are: 1. To build trust and eliminate confusion—People 2. To share information—Leaders need to keep need to know what is expected of them and how people informed. The context of what things are they are to meet those expectations. Knowing what supposed to mean and why decisions are put into is expected is part of a motivational environment. place needs to be made clear to people. Without Communication will need to be very clear and simple this, people will again speculate to give their own in regard to priorities and objectives so that people meaning to issues not fully understood. When understand what is expected of them. Definitive communication is not open, the \"grapevine\" and plans will produce definitive results. Without fully \"rumor mill\" will become prevalent causing understanding, people will formulate their own problems that will be very difficult to repair later. objectives or follow someone else that seems to Having information is considered to be a source have a vision or purpose. This may or may not be in of power. If people are not kept informed, they the same interests of the organization. Leaders need will make their own speculations. True power will to tell it like it is, always using the absolute truth and need to come from the dissemination of known facts. Using \"fluff\" in expressing priorities and information and empowerment of members of goals should be avoided at all costs. Truth that is not the organization. necessarily nice is better than having to explain lies that could be detrimental to a project later. 3. To provide feedback—Feedback enables people 4. Provide an avenue for input—one of the to evaluate their progress and make changes that greatest attributes to a successful leader is that are necessary to reach goals. It needs to be honest, they have the ability to listen. It allows them to objective and timely. Recognition has to be given understand the needs of the people under when possible. People need to know that they are them. This also allows members to feel that important. Proper feedback can help members they have some sort of control over their avoid working countless hours on something environment. Allowing others to have a chance incorrectly or not aligning with the objective of the to be heard will ensure that the best solutions organization. It can never be assumed that to problems facing an organization are brought expectations are obvious or understood. Ongoing forward and considered. ( JEFFREY PINDELSKI) feedback mechanisms help to improve employee performance and leads to less surprise when annual performance evaluations take place.
The Art of The focus of the one-on-one meeting needs to be on the subordinate. If there is trouble breaking the ice and getting started, some effective questions that can be asked are: •What is the progress on a particular project that the member is working on? •Is there any help that you need from me to complete the project? •What is going on with your shift/crew or team? •What issues do you foresee that the organization needs to be ahead of? Things for you as a manager to consider accomplishing from the meeting: •What items do I need to check on progress? •What do I need to make certain that I emphasize? •What additional task can I delegate that would legitimately add to the growth and development of the member? •What feedback do I need to provide to adjust the course of the project or the member’s behavior? •What praise/positive feedback can I provide to the member? In closing, it’s important to remember in the communication process that we are simultaneously sending and receiving messages, it’s not a one-way process. The sender and receiver are both responsible for the outcome of the communication process. The message is just the medium that’s painting the picture or telling the story. When sending a message to the receiver, remember it’ not always the sender that causes the breakdown the role is diabolically mutual. The question is are we as leaders or managers leading the change to effective communication? If so, the culture of the organization will exemplify the results. What are your thoughts?
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No… Is A Grace Word As I thought about these questions, I realized I had Linda Muhammad-McDowell to set some healthy boundaries in order to maintain my mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. I remember quite some time ago, when I had gotten In the everyday hustle and bustle of life, we can often find in a similar situation my mother saying to me, “Baby, ourselves stressed, overworked, and exhausted. We can you know the word NO, is a grace word”. often overextend ourselves because we have over I looked at my mother strangely, as at the time I had committed ourselves to please others. Personally, I have no idea what she meant. My mother then explained struggled with this myself, and if I am not careful it can to me what she meant, let me share the wisdom she easily happen again. As a nurse entrepreneur in the imparted to me that day. When you say yes, are you present health care systems, I have gotten caught up with realizing the value of your yes? A yes, commitment overextending myself. I see my coworkers exhausted and to others can take away valuable time from your working long hours to meet the patient demands. I am family, your mental health, and your physical health. contracted as a nurse, that works when needed. This God has graced us with the ability to say No, for a allows me time to work on other entrepreneurial purpose, our purpose. You give yourself and other’s ventures. However, because I feel so much compassion grace when you say No. No, to being overextended. for my coworkers and the patients we serve. I have No, to working more than you are physically and frequently overextended myself and have been working mentally prepared to. No, when the yes, interferes long hours to help meet the needs of our patients. with your family and personal goals and time. The However, working these long hours has affected my Grace word No, allows you to set healthy boundaries business, health and well-being of myself and my family. for yourself. It ensures that you are doing those As I write this article, I believe I am talking to myself and things that bring you joy and contentment, and others who have really overextended themselves to help keeps you away from unnecessary time wasters, or others. Or are we trying to please others? I really had to commitments that satisfy others but leave you take time out, to ask myself these questions. I also feeling drained, stressed, and frustrated. encourage you to ask these important questions. Just when you are about to over-commit yourself to something; stop, take a deep breath, and pause. Then ask yourself, “How am I helping myself and others? Am I giving from an empty vessel?”
How can you avoid the pressure of saying yes, even to well-meaning friends, and family? Let’s look at some healthy ways to consider if your yes, should be yes, or your No, a No layered with grace: 1. Does saying yes, interfere with any other commitments you have made to others, no matter how small? Would you’re saying Yes, interfere with a commitment to your child or spouse. Did you promise them something, and saying yes to working another shift, or helping a friend at an event, would that yes disappoint your loved one? 2. Is the commitment, in alignment with your purpose or goal. What are you trying to accomplish? Is helping someone else with their request, hindering you from accomplishing what you need to get done for your purpose? 3. Do you really want to do what has been requested of you? Do you kind of dread it, and you see it as just another thing on your list of to do’s; and you are not looking forward to it? Does this commitment cost you more time, and resources, more than you really need to commit? 4. Does this commitment help you and others? Is it a win, win for all concerned parties? In other words, are you getting great value, and so are others from this commitment? 5. Are you saying yes to something because you are afraid to say No? Have you counted the cost of this Yes? If the cost of yes is greater than the grace of saying No, then you know the answer. Conquer your fear of saying No, by considering the cost to you and your loved ones. No, is truly a grace word for yourself and others. It is time to place value on our time, our health, and our wellbeing. These are all priceless gems. Saying No, is not selfish it is self-preserving. We must preserve our physical and mental health by setting healthy boundaries, and using the Grace word, No when needed.
Transitional Empowerment Life Coach Matthew Santana is a Transitional Empowerment Life Coach with a strong track record in helping people. He’s a 4x best-selling author of four books entitled Evolution of a Queen: A Woman of Color, Rebirth of a Woman: Discover Unspoken Secrets, I am the Voice: An Advocate for the Voiceless, and newly Released Fearless which all inspire and empower others. He is also the owner of a non-profit Infinite Power Project which uplift in expanding your mind by following a creative process and taking steps to shift mindset. He helps you by creating a vision of the future that you want and support you on your journey of transformation. He has a process that is clear path that will take you on a quest from where you are, to where you want to be with a 6-step process called Journey to Tranquility. This will definitely assist you in your journey with Transitional Empowerment Through Healing Affirmations. With these steps you can learn the process of forgiveness and heal for the past. By changing your fixed mindset to a growth mindset. No longer ‘want’ and ‘should’ and Make room for the ‘wills’ and ‘cans’. You can talk all you want but until you do it you don’t really know what the experience is like. Journey to Tranquility In this moment I am safe. I Believe in me. I release any resistance within me. I deserve all that is good. I release the past and live only in the present. my mind is filled with loving positive thoughts. Matthew Santana Transitional Empowerment Coach Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Advocate anchor.fm/walkinginthelightpodcast Infinite Power Project www.infinitepowerproject.com
No Longer Surviving as a Victim but Thriving in My Purposeful Life First, we Must Define what is a Victim? Natashah For many of us we define being a victim based on our Khan perceptions, feelings, and reactions to our own individual experience. Most often individuals experience some form of trauma, which isn’t always catastrophic in nature, Trauma is defined as any life experience that cause emotional discord/discomfort and inability to manage the emotions. An event occurs at some point in our lives where many of us find ourselves being harmed (mentally, emotionally, physically), and not having our primal needs met; we walk away from those experiences feeling emotionally damaged, sad, fearful, broken, angry, alone, neglected and or abandoned. Many of us didn’t feel emotionally safe to share what we were thinking and or feeling; so, a breakdown in communication and lack of understanding contributes to our own interpretation of and over time our traumatic experiences and it becomes our reality. As we mature intellectually, we remain emotionally stunted and these repressed emotions and lack of understanding of these life changing events leads to “distorted thinking patterns” or belief systems such as but not limited to, “I am not good enough”, “I am unworthy”, “I am unlovable”, “I am ugly”, or “I deserved it”, “It’s my fault”. No matter our belief system we must first recognize that these are just interpretations/distorted thinking in our minds, and they are not “REALITY”, it’s our own perspective. Often our interpretations of our circumstances or the events that occurred manifest into unhealthy or negative thoughts and unwanted feelings, which leads to many of experiencing low self-esteem, lacking self-confidence, loss of identity, hindering self- actualization (achieving our fullest potential).
I have endured many obstacles in my journey of life as many others have as well. I spent most of my life thinking something was wrong with me, I was different from everyone else, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t belong/fit in due to a history of life experiences that influenced my negative thoughts, unwanted feelings, and unhealthy behaviors, which then impacted my relationship with myself, GOD, my spouse, children and others. Just like many others in the world I have suffered/ endured trauma such as but not limited too psychological, emotional, physical abuse; along with bullying, discrimination due to my ethnicity and sexual assault all before the age of 17. I felt defeated, I believed I was a failure, disappointed in myself and I held onto a lot of emotional pain (loneliness, guilt/shame, hurt, resentment, fear, scared, anger). I felt insecure, lost my identity, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and low self-worth as a result. Due to cultural and religious influences, I wasn’t raised in an environment where expressing thoughts and feelings were allowed as children were “to be seen and not heard”. While my voice was silenced at home, I found myself for years to come sharing with so many my victim narrative and I realized that I was doing it to get attention and sympathy and was portraying a weak version of myself”. What I failed to realize is that due to all the “bad” I had endured I was no different or immune from bad things that life had to offer. My mistake or shortcoming was focusing on the negative and not seeking GOD to help me through those difficult times and chose to believe in the negative, which contributed to my victim mindset, listening and believing what the enemy was saying to me rather than remembering who GOD was, is and always will be. I didn’t believe in God’s word/truth, I didn’t seek him, or sought help and I walked away from him. At the age of 31 I suffered the ultimate loss when my 13-year marriage came to an end, lost my home, was financially unstable, and lost custody of my two daughters who were only 8 and 11 years old at that time; then was ordered to pay child support. I lost custody of my children because according to family law, I couldn’t provide stability to my children as a single mother. This life changing event triggered all other traumas I had endured prior to the age of 17.
I was so overwhelmed with emotion I began to suffer with severe depression and anxiety, something I knew I had experienced before but it was more apparent as it paralyzed me physically. As GOD would have it and according to his will for my life, he sent his army of angels here on earth to help guide me back to him and reminded me that our GOD is forgiving when we admit our wrong doings and ask for forgiveness, and he loves us unconditionally; something I was not use too in my early childhood years by those who raised me. As I begin to regain my strength physically, mentally, and now spiritually, I am aware that my feelings of fear, anger, hate, despair, sadness, shame, guilt were all interwoven into this great big thick knitted blanket that suffocated me; It smothered my silence, my power, my value, and self-worth. Life prior to being sober for the last 11 years was consumed with pain, anguish, punishing myself, punishing others, angry at the world and hating myself; however, the last 11 years of my journey has been filled with mending broken relationships, strengthening bonds with my daughters, and embracing victorious moments that occurred during the darkest periods of my life and today I get to share those victories with you and continue to live life abundantly and fulfill my dreams and no longer living in the shadows of my old self “the victim”.
How Did I create this shift in my mind? First, I had to start getting honest, speaking my truth, and telling only the facts; not telling myself lies or exaggerating the facts in my mind. While the feelings I experienced are mine to own, and I connected them to circumstances in my past, I know today that my feelings, interpretations, and reactions to circumstances doesn’t define who I am as a person, and it surely doesn’t determine my path or the plans and dreams that the GOD of my understanding have for my life. I am reminded by my favorite piece of scripture Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you, to give you hope and a future”. I’ve learned that feelings fluctuate, they change moment by moment, from one circumstance to another; through a recent seminar, I discovered that I was emotionally driven verses being commitment driven. So, I started to shift my focus on being “committed”, something I was lacking in every aspect of my life before. So, I became intentional with my words and actions and began Surrounding myself with people who are like minded in wanting to create change, empowering self, and others to be our authentic self. My experience in Alcoholic Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, learning the 12 steps from a spiritual perspective were some of the support and tools that began to create the transformation in my life. I continue to be a work in progress, no longer striving to be perfect! I am grateful for ALL my circumstances especially the bad, ugly, horrific, terrible times in my life as they are all part of my story, and out of my S-TORY comes VIC-TORY. I was once beaten down, today I stand STRONG. I was once in bondage, today I am FREE, I once felt dead inside, today I am ALIVE. I was once controlled, today I found my POWER, I was once silenced but today I have my VOICE! I define my VICTORY as “defeating the enemy within”, my self-defeating thoughts, my inability to cope with my emotions, behaving in a way that only fed my immediate gratification but didn’t give me long-term relief. Today, my victory is no longer being a victim, I have the power, freedom to speak Up, to be me, to be alive and live again. Today I serve a higher power, Today I am EMPOWERED, Today I have a VOICE, Today I have VICTORY by GOD giving me the ability to pay the message forward with HOPE that it will help someone else learn from their past and let it be a motivator to begin LIVING A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE!
The Coach’s Corner Jeff How to Achieve Peace Within!!! Releford Sometimes we deal with all the struggles of life, and we tend to forget about ourselves. Why is that? Could it be that we are worried about the outside thing so that we have no control over? Could it be also that we feel as if we must control of everything in our lives? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you may have to ask yourself where any I at with my peace? Being content in and with your life is always the number one struggle for us as human beings. We always need to have reassurance from others that we are on the right track. When was the last time you stepped out on faith and tried a new business idea or just did that one thing that you have always wanted to do in your life. If it will bring you happiness and joy you don’t want to put yourself in just a box. You want to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. You want the best inside and out version of yourself to shine.
I challenge you today to ask yourself those hard- hitting questions such as, am I happy? Am I sad? Am I truly doing things in my life to please myself and not others? Let’s be honest accountability is the hardest thing for one to deal with when it comes to ourselves. It is even harder to admit that we at times can live our life for the show the glitz and glamour. What is that for? Is it to be noticed or are you truly bringing something to the table that involves your purpose? That’s what I want to leave you with because on the next article we will dive into your purpose in detail. For now, focus on your peace and what truly will bring you great joy and happiness. If you need help or would like to receive any of these tips on a deeper level. You can reach me via email [email protected] or social media Facebook or Instagram at RRRinc19.
When you stop talking about the little things, you lose the ability to talk about the big things in your marriage. Communication and Conversation is key in a marriage. Every married couple that’s been together for a significant amount of time thinks that they know everything about their spouse. All the fun, flirting, and even deep conversations have dried up – and now you’re sitting in silence on your date night dreaming of the days when you were still getting to know each other. It doesn’t matter how long you have been married, there is always something new to learn about your spouse. All it takes is a little time and a little creativity. Click Here Deborah Cooper Spiritual Life Coach for Married Women
See some example conversation starters below. Get to know your spouse on an even deeper level or hear a new side of the same old story. If you could spend 24 hours doing If you could go back to when we anything in the world together, what first started dating, what advice would you give yourself? would it be? What’s your favorite memory from What do you consider your when we were dating? biggest challenge in your life thus far? What’s your favorite memory from our wedding? Why? How do you see our lives looking like five years from now? What was the moment that you knew you were in love with me? When have you felt the most loved by me? When was the last time you cried? Do you remember what it was about? What do you consider my greatest attribute? What about When was the last time you laughed? my greatest weakness? Do you remember what it was about? What’s one activity that you’ve Do you have any dreams or things always wanted to do together? that you want to accomplish that you’ve put on the back burner? How Remember, there is always can we bring them to life? something new to learn about your spouse. Taking What’s one positive change that our some time to talk through marriage has had on you? any topic can not only make you feel closer together, but When was the last time I made you they can also help you feel great about yourself? How can I strengthen your do that more often? communication skills. It’s the small, open conversations that make the difficult ones a little easier. So, keep talking, keep connecting, and keep dating!
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What Can Cause Me to Have Bad Credit? Here are a few things to avoid: Late payments Creditors can hire or sell your • Your credit history accounts delinquent debt to third-party debt collectors to try to obtain a for thirty-five percent of your payment from you. This is often credit score. Make your credit the step they take prior to card payments on time to charging off your account. keep your credit score from Collection agencies can use decreasing. questionable methods to make you pay including threats of Defaulting on payments lawsuits, calling your place of • If you don’t pay your credit employment or even family members. Read about your rights card bills, a bad credit score to see what collectors cannot do is assured. Additionally, your at FTC.gov. unpaid accounts will be inevitably charged off after a Defaulting on a loan few months. • Defaulting on a loan affects A charge off your score in much the same • Your accounts become way as a charge off. It is a statement to any prospective charged off when a creditor finance company that you are sees that you do not intend to a credit risk. make payments on the balances. An account in charge off status is extremely harmful to your score. If you would like to learn more, you can purchase my book “All in One Tax Services Ultimate Credit Manual” at: 2. Collection Accounts Alln1taxjw.com/shop
“Winning The Fight of Your Life” Written by Coach P’Angela Jones For The Six Degrees of Separation Column The saying goes “never bring a knife to a gunfight.” What does that quote really mean? Especially when you apply it to the greater context of your existence? For most of us, this common phrase could speak toward: The need to be prepared for conflicts we will face. Being realistic about the tools we will need to overcome our next challenge. Assessing the scene and critically discerning what skills will help us survive. So, let me ask you a very real question. What weapon would you bring to the fight of your life? Come on let’s go there. What is the one crucial quality that comes to mind that may help you conquer your biggest challenge? Are you courageous? Are you confident? Do you have faith? Maybe it’s your boldness? Maybe it’s going to take the inner strength that you possess to help you bounce back. For me, I’m 100% sure it was my PASSION. Having a developed passion for purpose was one of my strongest weapons in the fight of my life! I recently recovered from a severe battle with Covid-19. Before I got sick, I thought my most solid weapons were my faith, confidence, and boldness. I believed those three things could get me through any door. But when the odds are against you-you find out what you have, what you struggle with, and what really matters. Your fight reveals so much about you, more than success ever could. I found out that passion for my future and family could give me the strength that even doctors couldn’t provide. You are stronger than you ever could imagine and sometimes it takes a good fight to figure that out!
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