Fr. Amatus Kallarackal

30 We, the novices, have seen many a time Fr. Amatus stretching out his hands and holding rosary in his right hand and looking incessantly at the crucifix. None of us dared to break the silence there and disturb Fr. Amatus who used to be in his ecstasy. We learned the lessons of silence from him at Karukutty. The same is narrated by Fr. Joseph Edakkery when he was the superior of the Novitiate house in Thandavapura that when everyone was asleep in the late night, Fr. Amatus was seen stretching his hands before the crucifix fixing his eyes on Him speaking to Him in silence forgetting the ticking off the clock for long hours.” Fr. Joseph affirms that he has never seen Fr. Amatus without a rosary in his hands and ejaculations of the divine name on his lips.6 The most striking point in the life of Fr. Amatus in his early formative stage and his early priestly life is the continued presence of the abiding spirit of the Lord in his life as a fulfillment of the paternal blessings bestowed upon him. It was in the Novitiate that Fr. Amatus encountered 6Fr. Varghese Koluthara, pp. 4-5.

31 somewhat the crucial crisis in his march towards the life of a religious priest, the anointed one, that is, when he was almost convinced that he will be denied promotion to priesthood due to his ill-health.7 Interestingly, after his ordination it was in the same Novitiate that he spent the major share of his time, as a member of the Sacred Heart Province, Kalamassery. It proved that God, in His loving providential care, accepted His great son’s humility and the spirit of unconditional surrender to the will of the Almighty. What was fulfilled in his life is the word of God in Proverbs 3:5-6. (Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean on not your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your path straight.) Many of his disciples in the congregation felt and enjoyed the consolation and fragrance of the saintly heart of Fr. Amatus. All through his life in Kalamassery Province and later in Mysuru Province, he was an inspiring presence for all those who embraced the path of Carmelite spiritual living and was lucky to be with him. 7 See, P.11.

Chapter 5 LIFE IN MYSURU MISSION Fr. Amatus moved to Mysuru mission in the year 1978 which was the very early stage of this mission under the paternal care of the Kalamassery Province. The then regional superior of Mysuru mission late Fr. Frederic Mundathanath CMI specially and insistingly invited Fr. Amatus to Mysuru mission, as another instance of divine providence, to spread the message of Christ in this part of the world, not by just preaching but by living a life of genuine witnessing to the Lord. At that time there were only a very few priests opted for Mysuru mission from Kalamassery Province due to the barriers of language and extreme climatic situations. So, in Kalamassery all the priests were given option to decide their preferences. Fr. Amatus took a neutral stand willing to move to Mysuru or to stay in the mother Province, leaving the ultimate decision to the superiors. He was chosen to move to Mysuru which he accepted with all humility and zeal for the Lord. Regarding this, in an interview he speaks: “Even though I was so happy to go to mission there was a recurring concern in my mind that whether I would be a burden for others there.” Fr. Amatus wholeheartedly accepted the decision of the superiors to work in Mysuru mission and moved to

33 Mysuru in the year 1978. A natural doubt may arise in our minds at this stage why Fr. Amatus did not take a decision to move to Mysuru mission by himself? A closer analysis of Fr. Amatus’ personality will reveal the answer. Fr. Amatus in his religious life from the early stage of formation itself did never take a decision for himself. He completely trusted and surrendered to the will of God that came through his superiors. This is because he always held the conviction that a religious making a decision for himself may cater his selfishness. Such was the fineness of his religious personality. This character of Fr. Amatus was very much evident in his later life in Mysuru mission. He started his service at Thandavapura and served all stations of Mysuru of that time. Fr. Dr. Varghese Koluthara writes: Under the compulsive invitation of Fr. Frederick Mundathanath, the then Regional Superior, Fr. Amatus joined Mysuru Province in 1978 at the age of 54 after twenty-three years of religious-priestly ministry in his mother Province at Rajagiri, Kalamassery. It is God’s providence that instilled in Fr. Amatus the courage to come out of the comfort zone of Rajagiri, Kalamassery S.H Province and to reach to the frontiers of the Syro-Malabar Church in Karnataka. It was an exodus from the mother Province to the mission land in

34 Karnataka. He is a saint sent by God to guide us and to inspire us in our initial struggles to spread the good news of the Lord in a strange land and in Kannada language. He was a saint walking along with his own CMI missionaries who came from Kalamassery and began to serve the people of God who were struggling in their lives to meet both ends. It is the story of the trekkers.8 8 Reading the signs of the time and needs of the people CMI missionaries under the leadership of Rev. Fr. John Berchmans Kureeckal CMI of S.H. Province, Kalamassery reached Karnataka in N R Pura and started Mysuru mission in the year 1954. This mission under the title “Mysuru Region” was formally entrusted to S.H. Province Kalamassery as its mission, by the rescript (Proto.No.586/59)from the Vatican on 8th May 1959. ... In order to facilitate the mission work of the district of Hassan, His Excellency Rt. Rev. Dr. Jacob Thoomkuzhy, the then bishop of Mananthavady made a contract with Rev. Dr. Thomas Aykkara CMI, the then Prior General of the CMI on behalf of CMI St. Paul’s Vice-Province, Mysuru on 19th April 1981 with full responsibility for intensive and extensive evangelization of the people of the district (Ref., Contract between Rt. Rev. Dr. Jacob Thoomkuzhy and Rev. Dr. Thomas Aykkara CMI, Prior General No.1). …From 1960 to 1980 many missionary fathers and brothers came to the region and worked for its various developments. ... Some of them have gone for their eternal reward and others are serving the Lord in different places. On a special note, this history is obliged to place on record the yeomen and unique service rendered by Rev. Fr. Francis Sales CMI to the Mysuru mission. We place on record the commendable service of the Regional Superiors Rev. Fr. Cyprian, Fr. Regulus, Fr. Barnabas, and

35 Fr. Amatus was the ‘ark of hope, giving the spiritual energy as ‘the pillar of cloud’ and the ‘pillar of fire’ to these missionaries, with his endearing smile and receiving the people with folded hands communicating the inner joy to all those whom he met in his stay in this missionary land. He was a saint walking along with us unassumingly.9 When he received the Provincial Superior’s order to move to Mysuru mission, he considered it as the providential will of God and moved to Mysuru without any delay. After Fr. Frederick- who had great vision for the Mysuru Region and they have spent their whole life for its growth and wellbeing. In about 20 years’ time, considering the remarkable progress of the mission, the XXX Ordinary General Synaxis held on 02 May 1978 elevated this Mission Region to the status of a Vice-Province, placing under the patronage of St. Paul. Rev. Fr. Emmanuel Frederick Mundathanath, who was the Regional Superior from 1975, became the first Provincial of St. Paul's Vice-Province. As the Vice-Province established itself more concretely the XXXV Ordinary General Synaxis held in Bangalore raised the Vice-Province to the status of a Province on 09 April 2002 when Rev. Fr. Thomas Ayankudy was the Provincial. See.(Fr. Emmanuel Ayamkudy CMI, Nadedu Banda Dari:The Trodden Way, The History of CMI St. Pauls Province, Mysuru., Department of Education and Communication media , St. Pauls Province, Mysuru). P.15-16. 9 Fr. Varghese Koluthara, “Fr. Amatus CMI (1924-2008), A Chosen One to be on the Altar”, (A Seminar on Fr. Amatus, Carmel Bhavan, Mysuru) pp. 5-6.

36 reaching Mysuru, Fr. Amatus lived a typical life of simplicity of a missionary. His first appointment was as the Financial Councilor of the Province at Thandavapura in the year 1978, the administrative centre of the Mysuru mission at that time. Together with the responsibility of the Financial Councilor he served as the Rector of the aspirants too at Thandavapura. The second appointment of Fr. Amatus in Mysuru mission was as the superior of Shanivarsanthe Ashram in the year 1981. It is a remote village in the Kodagu district of Karnataka. In the extreme climatic condition, he took charge of an Ashram which was financially very poor at that time. In the midst of the unknown people of different language Fr. Amatus silently managed the house with the available resources. He never made any complaint about his difficulties or poor conditions of the Ashram. He lived there like a mendicant all through his tenure. Even though his health condition was very poor to take up such a task he fulfilled it heroically depending on the providential care of the Almighty. By that time the newly erected diocese of Mananthavady was struggling without sufficient priests to serve the parishes. Due to the insistent demand of Mar Jacob Thoomkuzhy, the then Bishop of Mananthavady, Fr. Amatus was asked by the Superiors to move to Mananthavady to serve the parish of Marakkadavu. Fr.

37 Amatus wholeheartedly accepted the will of the superiors and took charge of the parish in the year 1983. From the year 1983 to 1984 Fr. Amatus served the Parish of Marakkadavu where he was popularly known as Eesho Achan (ഈശ ോഅച്ചൻ). Marakkadavu was a remote parish in the diocese of Mananthavady. His life in Marakkadavu as pastor reflected the face of Jesus, the Good Shepherd in all its depth and sanctity. In his presence people of Marakkadavu thought that Jesus himself was present in their midst. Such was the impact of his saintly personality in the public. In the person of Fr. Amatus they experienced the presence of a saintly priest who was in close contact with God. The simplicity in his behavior, in his life style and his gentle and noble approaches to the people of different walks of life and his ardent prayer life etc. inspired them to call him as ‘God of Marakkadavu.’ (Marakkadavinte deivam). Fr. Varghese Koluthara further writes about the life of Fr. Amatus during this period: From Thandavapura, he was appointed as the superior at Shanivarsanthe. After his tenure as the superior there, he was asked to take up the pastoral ministry in a typical parish in Marakkadavu, near to Pulppally, Wayanad of Mananthavady eparchy…. The people of God at Marakkadavu realized soon that they are having a saintly priest as

38 their parish priest. He organized the parish so systematically within a short time that when final bell is gone on Sundays the church would be packed with the parishioners and no one would be late for the Sunday Qurbana. I realized it when I became his successor in Marakkadavu in 1984. They felt that this saintly priest is not making any compulsive notes in his homilies but only instructs them with a compassionate touch. On 1st July 1984, when he started to move out from the Marakkadavu parish, he forbid me not to accompany him. He told me and the people of God gathered there in large numbers that nobody should come with him to see him off to Mysuru as he had no luggage except a small trunk box and an umbrella. Then he blessed us and started walking to bank of Kabani River which separated Kerala and Karnataka. Though I stayed back following his instruction, the parishioners followed their ‘God of Marakkadavu’ touching him and saluting him speaking to him from behind till he crossed the river Kabani at Perikalloor kadavu.10 For the people of God 10 Fr. Varghese Koluthara, “Besrauma Anubhavam Pakarnna Amatusachan,” in Sukrutha Vazhiye, 46.

39 at Marakkadavu, always they used to ask me on and off regarding the whereabouts of their saint of Marakkadavu –Fr. Amatus- as I returned from my occasional visit to Mysuru during my one-year stay at Marakkadavu as their parish priest.11 One interesting thing that we must note down here is that, Fr. Amatus, while he was serving in Kalamassery Province and at Marakkadavu parish in Mananthavady diocese the nicknames given to him by the general public meant the same that is Jesus Christ. While at Ambazhakadu Novitiate people called him ‘Karthaveeshomishiha’ and at Marakkadavu he was called ‘Eesho Achan’ both meaning Jesus Christ. Both reflect the personality and character of Fr. Amatus. There was a steady growth and transformation within his personality that resembled him to be like Jesus in his behavior, attitude, and appearances. He so beautifully and marvelously copied the humility and meekness of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ all through his life. This growing identification with the person of Christ drew people near to him, and they loved him respected him as a saintly person. These feelings of the common people very well prove that he was a saintly soul. He was not only a 11 Fr. Varghese Koluthara, “Fr. Amatus CMI (1924-2008), A Chosen One to be on the Altar”, Mysuru:(A Seminar on Fr. Amatus, Carmel Bhavan), pp.6-7

40 saint of Marakkadavu, but also for all who met him till his death. Returning from Marakkadavu Fr. Amatus was appointed as the superior of Puspashram, the CMI house at Periyapatna in the year 1984. After three years of service at Periyapatna he moved to Christa Sadana, Kandali, Hassan, in the year 1987. Shedding much light on Fr. Amatus’ personality Fr. Varghese Koluthara writes: After his pastoral ministry in Marakkadavu Fr. Amatus was appointed as the superior of the CMI house in Periyapattana in 1984. After three years he was transferred to the CMI house at Kandali in Hassan. 12 Like Mother Mary Fr. Amatus acknowledges and sings with joy and contentment the hymn of Magnificat: “Almighty has done great things for me and He is great.” This was the sum and substance of the spirituality of Fr. Amatus. Fr. Thomas Kunianthodath CMI, recollecting back his juniorate experience under the mastership of Fr. Amatus, reminds us that, Fr. Amatus 12 Fr. Amatus, “Paurohithya Suvarna Jubiliyil Amatus Achante Marupadi Prasangam” in Sukrutha Vazhiye, 31.

41 always used to say “a little better always.”13 He was a man of simplicity and enjoyed his life of poverty. Whenever a transfer comes for him from one place to the another during his pilgrimage in Mysuru, he had only to carry a trunk box and an umbrella and nothing else, what a freedom that he enjoyed!!! Fr.Thomas Vithayathil CMI makes a portrait of the holiness of Fr. Amatus in the following words, “Fr. Amatus spent a good amount of his life time in prayer and spiritual reading. Since he had a fundamental spiritual rootedness, his presence in the formation houses was a blessing.14 Fr. Amatus’ life’s slogan “a little better always” speaks volumes about his personality. This was not only a piece of advice to his students but is also strong personal conviction that he tried to live all through his life as a religious. The dictum meant that one has to keep on moving forward by making a substantial improvement in his/her life. This improvement includes all faces of one’s life: 13 Thomas Kuniyanthodath, “Ennum Mahatharam,” in Sukrutha Vazhiye, 32. 14 Fr. Varghese Koluthara, “Fr. Amatus CMI (1924-2008), A Chosen One to be on the Altar”, pp.7-8.

42 spiritual, attitudinal, behavioral, habitual, relational, and so on. A close examination of Fr. Amatus’ life will undoubtedly reveal that in all facets of life he put this slogan into practice successfully. Fr. Amatus was never tired of his prayers or of his life of mortification. Every day he appeared to be as a young novice with inner joy and satisfaction. No circumstances or events disturbed his ardent prayer life. At the end of a busy day Fr. Amatus appeared so calm and was present at the right time in the chapel for his prayers. Even after the official community prayers, he used to spend hours in the chapel with extended hands in front of the crucifix on his knees. Further to speak about this, no adverse situations or events adversely affected his friendly and spiritually motivated attitude towards his confreres or the general public. We have never heard of Fr. Amatus developing any kind of animosity of breakup of relationship with his community members or any member of the Province or the congregation. There was no unpredictability in his attitudes or behavior all through his life. He appeared to be a better person every time you met him: more praying more loving, more and more concerned about you, more caring about you, humbler and simpler.

43 Again, “a little better always” is the inner voice of a simple heart that aspires the closeness of the Lord not through mighty deeds, exceptional revelations, and visions rather through the simplicity of mind and heart. Fr. Amatus was a man of simplicity in his life: attitudes behaviors and in his words, and deeds reminding us of St. Theresa of Lisieux. It was his simplicity of mind which he might have acquired from early childhood and late teenage education and formation that empowered him to practice spiritual and material simplicity in later period of his life in such an admirable manner. I think we need to dedicate a few pages to look into this aspect of the personality of Fr. Amatus.

Chapter 6 THE ADMIRABLE SIMPLICITY OF MIND The easiest definition of simplicity is that it is the lack of complexity. To put it affirmatively, it is engaging in deliberate ordering of priorities so as to distinguish between necessary and superfluous, useful, and wasteful, beautiful, and ugly. It trains one’s motives for choosing something that is good and lasting by learning to say no to indulgences gracefully. This means one who practices this simplicity of mind achieves an admirable state of clarity of goals. He/she becomes free of the confused mental state of being tormented between too many goals and too little self- discipline to advance to any of these goals. Probably the biggest problem today’s religious persons face is the problem of too many goals and a dangerous lack of ordered priorities among them. So, disintegration of personality becomes a mark of the day. Men and women remain unhappy over the confused priorities as the internal aspirations favor with dangerous indulgences and extreme compulsions making it impossible to detach from any of these. Back to the person of Fr. Amatus, as most of us having memorable experiences with Fr. Amatus in

45 community living, we find in him, a heroically set single minded goal of achieving a sanctified life and well prioritized and deliberately ordered practices in achieving this goal, in other words, he always tried to be a little better to be near to the Lord. He was primarily a quite person and was not at all prolific or interested in sermonizing about religious life visualized within the framework of the modern sociological, managerial, and developmental strategies as of the practice of the day. This lack of expressiveness cannot be interpreted as lack of ability to conceive ideas or a state of inertia. This was a consciously selected response to the otherwise confusing flux of opinions and contradicting and sometimes even counter- witnessing policies adopted in the communities. It gives a lot of pain and needs amazing patience to be silent in the communities that are drastically transforming itself responding to the changing outlooks of the external world. In certain occasions it is the silent life of witnessing which will be more effective than preaching too many sermons. Fr. Amatus did this heroic witnessing, by way of his complete trust and sense of dependence on the Lord, in the communities and to the people he was in touch with. See what Fr. Romulus Payyappilly speaks about this: There are only few people who completely abstain from finding fault in others in with at least just for a joke. As

46 an exception to this generally accepted human behavior, Fr. Amatus is never heard of uttering a word that hurts others. He was so saintly and simple in heart and mind that it was impossible for him to find fault with others, or to make a negative comment about others. A well-disciplined prayer life, a calm and quiet style of life and interaction, a deep sense of humility, and complete obedience to the authority were the dominant virtues that Fr. Amatus never failed in his life. He lived and practiced the virtue of love like a novice all through his priestly and religious life. I thankfully remember that I was lucky to meet him and pray together with him just a week before his death. Those moments gave me a genuine feeling of being close to a saint on earth.15 Again Fr. Jomon Kolanchery in a memoir on Fr. Amatus writes about the depth of his personality: We never saw Fr. Amatus leading any ideological campaigns or struggle for rights. This is not because of his poverty 15 Fr. Romulus Payyappilly, “Nithya Navasanyasi”, in Sukrutha Vazhiye, p.44.

47 of ideas, rather his inner strength to accept others even on points of disagreement. (Sometimes silence speaks effectively than explosive expressions) He kept up the nobility of his religious commitment in his words and deeds. Unlike the today’s religious of the periphery, he practiced an emphatic detachment in all aspects of his life. He spoke volumes in a consoling and satisfied smile. God was his portion. So, he was fully contented in it. It was because of this contented life that inspired the people of Marakkadavu to call him “the God of Marakkadavu.” What more effective witnessing we need to call him a saint?16 His silence was a prayerful silence that was inspired by his mystical relationship with the Lord. He, thus was not disturbed by any inner compulsions that drove him to project himself as an outspoken religious seeking more publicity and acceptance. He was thus heroic in controlling his mental aspirations. Fr. Amatus, all through his life, was 16 Fr. Jomon Kolanchery, “Vineetham, Vishudham, Veerochitham”, in Vishudiyude Panineerpoove, Mysuru: (Department of Media and Education, Mysuru Provincial House, No date), p.3.

48 free from all kinds of compulsive behaviours. Nothing in his surroundings attracted him as inevitable. Regarding his simplicity of mind, the experiences of his own relatives are also worth mentioning here. Mr. Alexander Kallarackal (Joy), his nephew, retired professor, St. Thomas College, Pala in an interview spoke the following about him: While he visits home, after evening prayers and food, he used to go to the parish presbytery and spend the night there. He never used to sleep at home. While at home he never made any complaints or any demands and never used to find fault with anybody. Always remembered to remind about our duty. Once my wife wrote him a letter mentioning certain difficulties of life. His reply was that he offered the letter on the altar and red it to Jesus and everything will be fine for her. Such was his deep and innocent faith in the Lord. Fr. Amatus respected everybody, including children and considered them as equal to him. His humility was so great that he did never claim any honour or any special consideration from anybody. His often message to the

49 members of the family was that of forgiveness.17 Another nephew of Fr. Amatus Fr, Francis Ponnumpurayidam, also witnesses about his spiritual and mental simplicity in another interview: Fr. Amatus was a rather silent priest. He never used to make any advices. He was a man of amazing humility. Even when I was a seminarian, he used to greet me with great respect like a priest. In my family everybody used to call me by name. But Fr. Amatus always used to call me Acha (Father). I was actually feeling so small before his big heart. Late Cardinal used to advice the people that by looking at a Christian others should be able to write a Bible. One thing is quite sure that even if the constitution of CMI congregation is lost forever, by looking at the life of Fr. Amatus one can fully re-write it. He was a living copy of the constitution of CMI congregation. He did not give big advices to others, but his deeper spiritual awareness and spiritual wisdom made him a role-model for others. His spiritual personality was a big source of inspiration for others. His mother’s spiritual personality and examples influenced him a lot in developing such a great spiritual mindset in life. For 17 Prof. Alexander Kallarackal, from an interview, on 7/09/2022, Carmel Bhavan, Mysuru.

50 instance, while travelling from Kozhuvanal to Thudanganad by walking (The usual practice of those olden days, that is, before 1950s in Kerala) she used to say up to twenty to forty rosaries. His uncle Rev. Fr. Chrysostom also influenced him a lot. Fr. Amatus is undoubtedly a saintly soul and he will definitely bless us from heaven.18 Of course, it is this internal simplicity and extraordinary sense of dependence on divine providence that helped him to take a very difficult decision to move to Mysuru region after 23 years of life and service in the Sacred Heart Province, Kalamassery.19 While deciding to move to Mysuru region under the direction of his superiors at Kalamassery Province, Fr. Amatus did not make any extraordinary preparations or collected any special materials, either of dress, special equipment for any personal purposes, medicine, or any of that kind to face the hardships of the mission station in Mysuru. He did not have a penny other than what was required for his travel from Kalamassery to Mysuru. He carried an umbrella and a trunk box with his additional cassock and inner garments and a copy of the Bible in it. Fr Joseph Edakkery describes this in the following words: 18 Fr. Francis ponnumpurayidam, From an Interview, on 7/09/2022., Carmel bhavan, Mysuru. 19 See above, p.8.

51 I saw him for the first time at Carmel Bhavan during my PUC studies at Mysuru. The scene of the arrival of Fr. Amatus to Mysuru provincial house is so vivid in my mind. He was carrying a Trunk box in one hand and an umbrella in another hand. Fr. Amatus was our confessor on those days. His comforting words of reconciliation are still alive in the heart consoling and encouraging me even today in times of difficulties. He is there with me as strengthening presence in ways of trials and tribulations. For me Fr. Amatus was a living saint. He did not accomplish big things and did not enjoy any high positions but he was a man who made big difference through little things. He did everything with love and respect.20 .To put it in more clear terms, Fr. Amatus set his goal as the complete sanctity of life and gave utmost priority to all what he said did in order to advance to this single-minded goal. 20 Fr. Joseph Edakkery, “Amatusachanodoppam”, in Sukrutha Vazhiye, p.41.

52 The determination and single-minded devotion to the achievement of this goal shaped the nature of the personality of Fr. Amatus. As he was trying to be a little better every day towards the Lord, his religious personality was enveloped by an increasing spirit of detachment. He placed incomparable trust with his Lord and with his fellow religious. He learned every moment in his life to live with the people he got peacefully revealing to them the love of the heavenly Father, rather than looking for people whom he liked to live with, and enjoy. He never kept any private concerns or program that was not known to his community members. He was a simple and open book written in clear terms having no obscurities in it. The inner peace that he experienced in his life was very much evident from the admirable pleasantness he exhibited all the day pointing to the absence of any internal complexities. His calm and quiet mind made him a man of constancy or steadfastness, approachable in all days and all seasons. As a formator and a spiritual guide Fr. Amatus always inspired his students, fellow religious, and his relatives to develop unconditional trust in the Lord and to cultivate a positive attitude towards sufferings of life as they help us to identify with Christ on the Cross. Every time when he preached sermons and gave spiritual counsel to the students, the major topic of his discussion was about the

53 providence and care of the Lord for those who are being humble before the Lord with simplicity of heart. He was not at all giving any prepared sermons but was talking from the depth of his heart what he internally practiced throughout his life. One of the letters written to his elder brother reveals this truth very clearly: (The Letter is addressed to his elder brother and family. He exhorts the family members about the importance of developing an affectionate relationship among the family members founded on the virtue of Love after the example of Jesus. In spite of all the difficulties and sufferings there must be dynamic adjustments among the family members. The letter stresses the importance of family prayer, complete trust in the divine providence and an optimistic attitude in life)

54

55

56

56 i) An inevitable Spiritual guide of the Novices Before continuing with the analysis of Fr. Amatus’ saintly personality, we need to travel back to history for a while. In 1984 Rev. Fr. Gabinus Petta CMI was elected the Provincial Superior of St. Paul’s Province, Mysuru. It was his long-cherished dream to have a Novitiate house for Mysuru Province. Until then students from Mysuru Province were undergoing Novitiate training at Karukutty Novitiate House. After the necessary consultations and required permissions from the General Council, it was decided to start an independent Novitiate for the Province in spite of the fact that there was no proper building facility for a Novitiate. Thandavapura was selected as the proper place for the Novitiate and started constructing a new building for the same attached to the existing old building there. Rev. Fr. Antony Moolamattom was entrusted the responsibility of supervising the construction work there with a presumption that the building will be completed within a year. In the meantime, canonical Novitiate started on 19th March, 1985 at Kandali Ashram making use of the existing three separate small buildings there. The search for a suitable novice master ended up with Rev Dr. Thomas Vithayathil CMI, who was serving as the professor of philosophy and spiritual father at Dharmaram college, Bangalore, the major seminary of CMI congregation. Rev. Fr. Thomas

57 Vithayathil was a man of admirable simplicity, exceptionally knowledgeable, most noble, and humble in behavior, a man of higher spiritual awareness, and of higher discernment, soft spoken and above all, was a profound religious personality and hence was the most fitting for the job. Though reluctantly, Fr. Vithayathil finally agreed to take up the responsibility on one condition that Rev. Fr. Amatus should be there in the team as the superior of the house. It was in this situation that Fr. Amatus was suddenly transferred from Periyapattana to Kandali Ashram. Here naturally comes the question; why Fr. Vithayathil, a man of higher integrity and exceptional sense of discernment incessantly demanded for the inclusion of Fr. Amatus in the Novitiate team? The immediate answer will be because of his saintly character, his simplicity, etc. But there are much more in this question to be answered. More than imparting spiritual knowledge and inculcating spiritual habits a Novitiate is a place where novices learn to imitate Jesus and experience the nearness of the Lord by being closer to living examples of formators who can live like a novice and at the same time be like Christ with a compassionate heart and authentic personality. Then the best suited person for such a job was none other than Fr. Amatus who was also known as Eesho Achan. Being a man who spent most of his young years as priest with the novices (As we noted above Fr. Amatus was almost always a sought-after presence in the

58 Novitiate team while he was in Kalamassery Province) Fr. Amatus always kept up the innocent mind set of a novice with incomparable inner sanctity. Fr. Amatus considered the Carmelite religious rule as the most authentic guide and leading light for him to live the evangelical counsels in its perfection as a religious. Hence, he was uncompromisingly committed to the complete and unfailing obedience to the constitution of the congregation and its guide lines and that was the corner- stone of his personal sanctity too. This in reality was the outcome of his amazing simplicity of heart, inner courage, and a sincere and straight forward life having firm convictions in the teachings of the Gospel. This simplicity of the heart and faith in the Lord made Fr. Amatus an extraordinarily satisfied religious with unshakable inner peace. This inner experience of peace and constancy, of course, speak volumes about his experience of the nearness of the Lord. It was these dimensions of his personality that made him the most fitting formator in a Novitiate house. His life was an open text book for the novices to read and imitate. Fr. Thomas Vithayathil and the first batch of novices enjoyed his spiritual company in the Novitiate training process. His humility and exceptional service- mindedness coupled with his spiritual vigor helped them to

59 have an unforgettable time in the first year of the newly started Novitiate. The hard work of Rev. Fr. Antony Moolamattom produced its desired result. The new building for the Novitiate house was completed by 1986 March and the Novitiate was shifted to Thandavapura from Kandali in the same year after the first profession of the newly started Novitiate batch and the vestition of the second batch in the same month. The Novitiate formation team continued till May in the same year. By the month of April 1986, Rev. Fr. Gabinus Petta completed his three-year term as the Provincial Superior and late Rev. Fr. Thomas Kuniyanthodath was elected as the new Provincial Superior with a new provincial administrative team. Rev. Fr. Thomas Vithayathil soon returned to Dharmaram College and Rev. Fr. Gabinus Petta was appointed as the Novice Master. Fr. Amatus continued as the Novitiate House Superior. The present author of this biography was one of the first batch novices of the Thandavapura Novitiate house. I can never forget the precious formative period I spent with Rev.Fr Amatus, but will always remember with a deep sense of gratitude to these two saintly priests. Even though there was only one novice the Novitiate programme went on without any slight change in the daily routine.

60 Fr. Rector was so keen in conducting classes as usual. His proficiency in English and French was a big advantage in explaining the spiritual classics. Prayers, visits to the blessed sacrament, garden work, etc., went on without any break. Fr. Amatus despite his duties as the superior of the house joined me for all the activities in time except attending the classes. He was like a novice. I never felt that I was alone. He was present with me for all the prayers, visits to the Holy Eucharist, preparing the altar for the holy mass, folding the vestments, house cleaning, garden work and for food and everything. While conducting Bible services and adorations he was readily there to help. He was there with me for everything like a fellow novice till the end of the day. After the night prayers when I leave the chapel for sleep Fr. Amatus used to continue his prayers with extended hands in front of the crucifix which may sometimes continue till midnight. The short span of time that I spent with Fr. Amatus was genuinely inspiring and blessed days. I had an increased feeling that I was lucky to live with a living saint. He was such a great mind and humble soul who came down to the level of a novice. He showed the true dignity of a religious in his person and in his deeds. Those memories are so much vivid and worth inspiring even today in the middle of all struggle. The presence of Fr. Amatus in the Novitiate house was a great

61 blessing for all the novices who had the opportunity to undergo formation here. Fr. Thomas Parayil, one of his novices, who received spiritual formation under him, quotes his often- repeated words in the class: “Little thing is little thing but being faithful to it is a great thing” Fr. Parayil Continues: The above statement is a fine memory from our Novitiate classes. …He has a humble and simple life and always considered others as more important and greater than himself. Fr. Amatus was an authentic religious with a much higher levels of spiritual awareness.21 In the year 1987 Fr. Amatus was transferred from Thandavapura to Kandali as the prefect of the Ashram there. There his field of action was changed from formation to agriculture. He wholeheartedly accepted his new responsibility and started discharging his duties with all sincerity and full of love and commitment to Lord. Fr. Amatus himself narrated an incident that happened on 17th June 1988 during those years of his stay in Kandali. He narrated it during the golden jubilee celebrations of his 21 Fr. Thomas Parayil, Sukrutha Vazhiye, p.34

62 priestly ordination. There he describes that when he was cleaning the surroundings of the 10 HP motor pump, used for irrigating the paddy field and coconut plantation there, the bottom side of his cassock got stuck with the running motor pump accidently. In split of a second, he fell down. The cassock was torn apart from his body and he was saved. Fr. Amatus acknowledges with a throbbing heart full of gratitude to the providential care of the Lord that he experienced at that moment. In his words: “It remains a mystery for me even today of who tore my cassock away from my body at that split moment so that I was saved totally even without a scratch on me.”22 Fr. Romulus Payyappilly, while speaking about this incident, makes very valuable observation that it was because the cassock was so superannuated that it got torn apart within the fraction of a second. For many of us, this incident may not appear to be of much significance or fascination. But this incident speaks a lot about the person and sanctity of Fr. Amatus. First of all, he looks at this incident as quite extraordinary. His words reflect the nature of his unquestionable conviction about the divine providence that he experienced all through his life and his complete surrender to the Lord in whom he had the unwavering confidence and faith. His 22 Sukruthavazhiye, P.31

63 faith in the Lord here was not of a rationalist who believes in the light of the intellectually satisfying rational clarification of the matters of faith. He believed in the Lord like a small child believed in the protective power of his /her father. It was a complete trust in the exceedingly great and precious promises of God in Christ Jesus as would a child. He heard the Gospel in its purity that Jesus died for you and He is your only Saviour. This is an innocent faith where there is no room for the slightest doubt about the all- powerful, eternal Saviour in Whom and through Him we all exist. Therefore Fr. Amatus’ personality often reminds us of the personality of St. Theresa of Lisieux who considered herself as the child of Jesus. It is this complete and uncontaminated faith and trust in the Lord that made him a man of amazing spirit of Poverty. He was never fascinated by anything material: dress, food external make-up of the body, and never collected any dress items more than what was absolutely necessary for him. He carried only minimum things with him as he moved from one place to another. He did never have more than two cassocks. It was this great value of poverty that he lived so heroically that transformed his religious personality so much glittering and admired by everybody. Literally he was the anwim Yahweh (the poor of the Lord) His material simplicity was the necessary outcome of his spiritual and mental simplicity. Fr. Joseph Edakkery CMI, a long-time associate

64 of Fr. Amatus during the last years of his life, writes his memories about Fr. Amatus: He never wasted anything, and was so satisfied with the minimum. He kept in his room only what is necessary for his life. Once I visited his room, I could find only very old and several times over stitched cassocks. When I bought two new ones for him, he asked me permission to wear only the old ones. This spirit of poverty and obedience were so much inspiring and unique. Once novices cleaned his beddings, they found, to their surprise, stone pieces rolling down from his beddings. After this incident he even abandoned the habit of using soft bed. He started sleeping on the wooden cot covered by a sheet of cloth without bed. In the last years of his life, when he was bedridden, it was painful for him to waste a bit of food though he was unable to eat it.23 The type of austere life that Fr. Amatus lived in our modern times known for its affluence and comfort loving tendencies clearly proved the depth of his spiritual motivation and deep sense of detachment from the world in the true spirit of 23 Sukrutha Vazhiye, p.42.

65 evangelical poverty. He found Jesus and his message as the real and lasting treasure of his life and abandoned everything that was fascinating in the world to make that true treasure as his own to enter the kingdom of God. In the year 1989, Fr Amatus, upon the request of the Provincial Administration, moved from Kandali to Marikkunnu Novitiate house. A suitable person as a member of the Novitiate team was requested by the then Provincial of St. Thomas Province, Rev. Fr. Justin Koippuram CMI, for facilitating the Novitiate House at Marikkunnu, Calicut. Fr. Amatus was the first choice for such a distinguished responsibility, which demanded high spiritual awareness and exemplary life and personality. After three years of admirable service there as the spiritual father of the novices, in the year 1992, he returned to Thandavapura as the administrator of the house, joining the Novitiate team. He continued there for about nine long years, spreading the fragrance of his virtuous life. ii) A Man of Respect and Care for Others Fr. Amatus’s life and activities, as witnessed by many of the brothers who were blessed to have Novitiate training with him, clearly bring out the real saint within him. Almost all of the novices of this period agree on one dominant and highly admirable personal quality of Fr. Amatus. That is nothing but his habit of “respect and care” for others. The modern social psychology proposes that, in

66 social living, respecting, and caring are essential dimensions for ensuring healthy social interaction and communitarian existence more peaceful and rewarding.24 Fr. Amatus, with his inner sense of deep respect for his fellow religious, exercised this great virtue in his life in such a way, that it deeply touched the hearts of the people he encountered. Fr. Amatus respected the highest authorities as well as the least brotheren of the community almost equally. He respectfully approached everybody with folded hands and bending forward with high respect to the person standing in front of him. This was a usual behavior towards everybody, irrespective of the position and influence. This was a unique personal quality which required a lot of humility and a high sense of human dignity. One of his novices and presently working as a priest in Mysuru Province, Fr. Abin Changamcheril, so convincingly says that, the holiness of Fr. Amatus primarily lies in his highly admirable quality of humaneness. As Fr. Abin, from his personal experience, puts it “he was holy, because he was so humane.” Fr. Amatus was able to see the real face of Christ in his fellow religious. He never failed to say ‘thanks’ even to the newly arrived aspirant for a small help received. He was a man of community life. He knew the art of community living as a man of inner tranquility and peace. Being a fully satisfied religious, he never complained for 24 Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence, pp.290-295.

67 anything in the community. Fr. Abin narrates an incident in the Novitiate explaining the holiness in the attitude and reactions of Fr. Amatus. He says: Once it happened that one of the brothers forgot to buy tooth paste from the market for his next day’s use. To solve the problem in the morning at 5.30, he quietly entered the private room of Fr. Amatus and stole a bit of tooth paste for his use. While getting out of the toilet room he had to encounter Fr. Amatus who got up by that time and was moving to toilet. Being caught red-handed, he was in a difficult situation. Suddenly Fr. Amatus said a big thanks to him and let him out of the room to have peaceful morning prayers.25 Such was the respectful and caring behavior of Fr. Amatus. Fr. Abin further illustrates that Fr. Amatus knew that brothers were occasionally stealing tooth paste from his toilet room. But he was never irritated or disturbed by that. He was so fatherly to the young people of the community that he always loved them and encouraged them to grow in spiritual simplicity. He only reluctantly accepted the help from others for managing his personal needs, even at times 25 Fr. Abin Chenganchery, Interview on Fr. Amatus, Carmel Bhavan Mysuru, 2022, May, 6.

68 of great physical pain and difficulties. His inner holiness was so genuine and hence was able to accept and respect others so gently and peacefully. He never insisted, as quite usual with many of us, that others also should be holy as he was. He firmly believed that holiness is not something that can be imposed on others rather it is a gift of the Holy Spirit that each one discerns and achieves by way of personal commitment and choice of one’s heart. He respectfully tolerated the members of the community accepting their uniqueness and freedom as divine providence concerning them. His personal attitude and behavior in the community reflected his inner disposition which affirmed his faith in the inherent dignity of his fellow brotheren and their intellectual, spiritual, ethical, and artistic potential. So diligently, he respected the dignity and inner sanctity of other person and never violated the personal space of others. Though he was not a psychologist or academically qualified spiritual theologian, he exercised an admirable sense of discernment in dealing with other people and appreciated their personal autonomy in taking moral decisions in their everyday living. He was fully free from the temptation of becoming the wholesale dealer of morality for others.

69 iii) A Compassionate Confessor These personal values were the guiding principles in all his advices while spiritually guiding the seminarians and others, especially in his dealing with the penitent approaching him for confession. He was very much aware of the weak human nature leading to sinful behaviour and was well convinced of the divine mercy towards the repenting sinner. This fundamental attitude of Fr. Amatus made him a consoling confessor to all who approached him. The sufficiency of the salvific grace of the Lord, who paid the price for the sin of humanity, occupied the central point of the theological and spiritual values he practiced during his life time. He firmly believed that the fundamental responsibility of a believer is to co-operate with the grace of the Lord. So, every person’s unique state of being in this regard must be taken into serious consideration before adopting a judgmental attitude towards that person. This balanced mindset helped Fr. Amatus to maintain a normal relationship with all the community members without categorizing them by their inferior or superior spiritual and moral standings. Complete optimism in the possibility of the ultimate salvation of man as a possible hearer of the Word of God was inherently present in his attitude towards the other members of the community as well as to all who were in touch with him.

Chapter 7 A SAINT OF SPIRITUAL SIMPLICITY Fr. Amatus was a man of higher sense of awareness. He was aware of his own limitations and strengths as a simple-hearted innocent soul who completely put his trust in the Lord. St. Paul in his letter to Ephesians 4:32 wrote “get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander as well as all types of malicious behavior.” This must be considered as the fundamental requirement for achieving spiritual simplicity that Jesus envisioned in Mat. 18:13. “If you do not become like a child, you cannot enter the kingdom of God”. Coming back to the person of Fr. Amatus, I think the aforesaid biblical passages are doubtlessly fulfilled in the life of Fr. Amatus. St. Paul’s vision of a spiritually simple man is personified in his life. We never had any experience of Fr. Amatus using any harsh words against any of his conferrers. Neither he did keep any bitterness or rage against anybody in his life. His childlike simplicity was very much evident in all his behaviors especially when it comes to the question of his personal relationship with his community members.

71 Fr. Amatus used to spend longer time in the chapel with the Lord, sometimes on his knees with hands extended, fixing his eyes on the crucifix and tabernacle. Fr. James Mekara in his funeral sermon on Fr. Amatus mentions this and he goes on explaining it. When a novice asked him whether what was he praying in the chapel for long time on his knees, he replied that he was not making any verbal prayer but was looking at Jesus. These words show the child-like simplicity of his heart and single-minded devotion to the creator. A child does not have too many complicated words in front of his father but he enjoys his presence as a loving companion whom he/she can completely trust. Again, when two people love each other in the deepest realms of the heart they never get tired of looking at each other. At every moment the other person becomes more and more beautiful and attractive. They find indescribable happiness in this union. Fr. Amatus genuinely represented the face of Christ who spent hours in solitude praying to the father during his public ministry. This is very much evident from the experiences and testimonies of the different people from the parishes he served and of the members of the communities he served in different stations of the Province in Mysuru. Fr. Amatus enjoyed the luxury of being the most favored companion of the Lord Jesus Christ. His richness was in his

72 harmonious and happy blending of his spiritual and personal simplicity with his material poverty. In his thinking, approaches, and practices there were three necessary aspects of a genuine spirituality. They are: 1) intense desire to love Jesus, 2) genuine effort in accomplishing It, and 3) ardent prayer life. A close examination of his religious life from its very beginning as an aspirant and later as a novice will prove the depth of his desire to become a religious priest. All the mental struggles, agony, and anxiety that he had undergone during these periods speak a lot about his intense desire to accomplish what he had wilfully chosen as the purpose of his life. His unique habit of personal prayer, that he practiced from early days of his religious training and continued without failure or exhaustion, all through his priestly life and services, made him a genuine man of God. This closeness to the Lord in desire and prayer reflected the nobility in his personal dealings and loving attitude towards other people. This is why, he was nicknamed variously like Eesho Achan, maalaha, Karthaaveeshomishiha etc. Being an unassuming personality, Fr. Amatus in his appearance and dealings reflected the compassionate and loving face of God and was selflessly committed for the care and welfare for others. His very presence was a matter of great fascination and joy for all the people, he served, during his life time.

73 In most of his classes and exhortations these three things were often stressed with intensity. In one of the letters, he wrote to his sister Dolores on 18th September 1999, this aspect of his spiritual vision is very much evident. He writes:

74

75 (In the above letter, he is consoling his sister Dolores, who was finding lot of difficulties due to her lack of proficiency in the local language of the place where she was residing. He advices her that what is important is to love Jesus which does not require proficiency in language or other worldly talents. He lovingly reminds her to find

76 happiness in doing small things out of the love of Jesus and fellow sisters. There are only three things which are primarily important for a religious. They are: Intense desire to love Jesus, genuine effort in accomplishing it, and ardent prayer. He considers these virtues as the best means to attain sanctity of life) In another letter to a family, on 25th October 1998, he writes:

77

78 (In this letter of advice advices to families, he continuously reminded them about the need for ardent prayer life to live a life close to the Lord and thereby experience peace and deeper bond between family members. He insisted them to bring up the children in the good habit of prayer and complete trust in the Word of God. Where there is the absence of prayer there will be the presence of the devil and he will lead people to division and infights.