Learning To Let Go Workbook

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What And Why Holding onto things that aren’t doing you any good can do a lot of damage. Imagine a string wrapped around your hand, and pulling away from you. However, instead of letting it go, you keep hanging on; as it tightens, it cuts you. All you have to do is let it go, and it will unravel and fall where it needs to. Obviously, since you got this workbook, you can see what hanging on does. Letting go is part of healing, learning, and life. Let’s begin. What struggles have you faced because you didn’t let go of something you should have? What things do you struggle with letting go of the most? What is the one thing you want to learn to let go of? Why?

Letting Go Of The Past The past is one thing that can cause a lot of pain. The good news is, you can use good and bad experienc- es to learn important lessons. If you don’t let go of the parts of the past that hurt you, you are keeping yourself from learning so much. It is hard but also incredibly freeing once you do. This isn’t an overnight process; it’s something you will have to be intentional about every day. Let’s set the groundwork to let go of your past. What are some things in your past that you are struggling to release? Why are you holding onto these things? How can you start letting go of these experiences and finally heal?

Letting Go Of Anger Before you start this, know that anger is a valid and healthy emotion! It’s what you do with your anger that can get you into trouble. We know reactions like abusive behavior, committing a crime, assault, etc are not okay. What we rarely hear about with anger is that holding onto it isn’t good either. Staying angry and holding grudges does nothing to the person or situation you’re mad at. Instead, it keeps you from growing. Holding on can make you feel safe and powerful. However, it will eat away at you. It’s time you move forward. What situation or who are you angry at for a long time that riles you up each time you think of it? Why do you hold on to this anger? What can you do to let go of this anger and move on with your life?

Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships Any relationship has the potential to become toxic. It can be anyone from a parent, to a friend, to a significant other, to a coworker, and everything in between. This is an important mindset to develop in order to let go of all kinds of toxic relationships. If you’re not sure how to identify a toxic relationship, use this page to help you. Name: How does being with this person make me feel after I’ve spent time with them? Does this person encourage my growth, or try to Is this person mean/abusive to me? keep me stagnant? Use the space below to reflect on your relationships, and see if you can identify those that are toxic, and how you can start letting go of them for your own well-being…

Identify Your Toxic Relationships Now that you have an idea what a toxic relationship looks like, let’s figure out how you can resolve this. Toxic relationship: How is this relationship toxic? Can I communicate my feelings with this person and be respected? If not, how can I cut ties? Toxic relationship: How is this relationship toxic? Can I communicate my feelings with this person and be respected? If not, how can I cut ties?

Letting Go Of Mistakes In life, you will make mistakes. No one escapes for this. This doesn’t mean you don’t aim for excellence. It only means you shouldn’t hold yourself to an impossible standard, and beat yourself up when you in- evitably fall short. Mistakes are a gift; they give us the opportunity to grow and gain insight, and develop a better way of doing things in the future. Think about how you allow your mistakes to affect you, and how you can start letting go of them. What are some things in your past that you are struggling to release? Why are you punishing yourself for this mistake? What can you do to forgive yourself?

Letting Go Of Sadness The past is one thing that can cause a lot of pain. The good news is, you can use good and bad experienc- es to learn important lessons. If you don’t let go of the parts of the past that hurt you, you are keeping yourself from learning so much. It is hard but also incredibly freeing once you do. This isn’t an overnight process; it’s something you will have to be intentional about every day. Let’s set the groundwork to let go of your past. What are some things in your past that you are struggling to release? Why are you holding onto these things? How can you start letting go of these experiences and finally heal?

Letting Go Of Regret Regret can develop for so many reasons, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for how long it should take to let go of them. Letting go of regret comes down to forgiving yourself. Start taking steps forward below. What are some decisions from your past that you regret? What were your reasons for making these decisions? How can you make peace with your past self to let go of these regrets?

Letting Go Of Self-Hate For many people, it’s much easier to hate ourselves than it is to love ourselves. It can be so difficult to do when you don’t feel you are worthy of love. Know that you ARE loved. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have in your life. You will always have to live with yourself. So don’t hate yourself. Let’s start turning your narrative around. What I Normally Dislike About Myself What To Love About That Instead How Do I Start Shifting My Focus? What I Normally Dislike About Myself What To Love About That Instead How Do I Start Shifting My Focus?

Letting Go Of Offense Getting offended is normal. People are going to make mistakes, disagree with you, or even purposely try to offend you. It’s your choice to hold on to that or not. Being offended doesn’t have to be a constant state of being. When was the last time someone offended you? When was the last time someone offended you? This Week Last Week Weeks ago This Week Last Week Weeks ago Months ago Can’t remember Months ago Can’t remember What was the root of the thing that triggered you? What was the root of the thing that triggered you? Was the person intentionally set out to stir you up know- Was the person intentionally set out to stir you up know- ing you’d be offended? Yes No Don’t know ing you’d be offended? Yes No Don’t know How can you be more objective? How can you be more objective? When was the last time someone offended you? When was the last time someone offended you? This Week Last Week Weeks ago This Week Last Week Weeks ago Months ago Can’t remember Months ago Can’t remember What was the root of the thing that triggered you? What was the root of the thing that triggered you? Was the person intentionally set out to stir you up know- Was the person intentionally set out to stir you up know- ing you’d be offended? Yes No Don’t know ing you’d be offended? Yes No Don’t know How can you be more objective? How can you be more objective?

Letting Go Of Control Few things in life that are truly within your control. It’s easy to want everything in a neat little box that stays perfect and organized and does nothing unexpected. This is unrealistic because life is imperfect and chaotic. Control is an illusion that is important to let go of for your own mental well-being. What are some situations that you try to control, even though they are out of your control? Why do you think you always want to be in control? What can you say to yourself next time to learn to embrace the unpredictability of life?

Letting Go Of Expectations Expectations are essentially fantasies we build up in our minds about how we think certain situations or people should be. There are reasonable expectations, but we also have unreasonable ones. For example, a reasonable expectation is to expect a close friend to be honest with you. However, it is unreasonable to expect them to tell you every single personal thing about them. This same logic tracks for situations. Below, be honest with yourself about any unrealistic expectations you might have. What are some unrealistic expectations that you have a habit of holding onto? How have these expectations impacted your life and relationships? What can you do to create more realistic expectations, and let go of the unrealistic ones?

Letting Go Of Not Being Yourself Sometimes, we avoid being ourselves because we’re afraid of being rejected or told that we’re “too much” in some way. This can make you take on a different persona and hide the things about us that make you who you are. You are an amazing and unique person, and nobody - including you - will ever get to experience that if you’re never yourself. When do you avoid being yourself? Why do you think this is a struggle for you? What is one thing you can do today to be yourself?

Letting Go Of Bad Habits We all have bad habits, but you don’t have to let them control you. You are in charge of your life, and your story. Take charge of it and let go of your bad habits! Let’s work out some steps you can take to let go of them. What’s a habit you consider bad that you’d like to be What’s a habit you consider bad that you’d like to be free from? free from? What triggers this habit? What triggers this habit? How can you make it more difficult or painful to fall How can you make it more difficult or painful to fall into this habit? E.g. You check social media each time into this habit? E.g. You check social media each time you pick up your phone. Make it more difficult by you pick up your phone. Make it more difficult by uninstalling the app. uninstalling the app. What’s a habit you consider bad that you’d like to be What’s a habit you consider bad that you’d like to be free from? free from? What triggers this habit? What triggers this habit? How can you make it more difficult or painful to fall How can you make it more difficult or painful to fall into this habit? E.g. You check social media each time into this habit? E.g. You check social media each time you pick up your phone. Make it more difficult by you pick up your phone. Make it more difficult by uninstalling the app. uninstalling the app.

Letting Go Of Stuff A minimalist lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but there is still such a thing as too much stuff. Things can quickly take over our homes if we aren’t careful. If your home is starting to become cluttered and hard to even navigate, it’s probably a good idea to evaluate how much stuff you have, versus what you need. Item Keep Give Away Sell Throw Out

Letting Go Of Unhealthy Situations Depending on what kind of situation it is, it can be hard to let go of it and move on. However, it’s im- portant to realize that we ALWAYS have a choice in what we choose to do, and where we choose to be. If a situation is bad for you, you need to think about whether or not you are willing to waste time on staying in it. We only get this life one time, and I don’t think any of us want to waste it or look back with regrets. If you are in an abusive situation, please do seek professional help. What is an unhealthy situation in your life right now? Why do you think you are settling for this? What is stopping you from seeking help? What will happen if you do nothing? What happens if you do something? Write at least 3 small steps you can take right now to get out from under this situation. 1 1 2 3

Letting Go Of Worry Unlike fear, worry is based on our imagination, and rarely about things that are actually happening. Most of the things we worry about aren’t even in our control anyway. Review the page on letting go of con- trol. The same principles apply. Then work through the questions below. Name three things that you have been working yourself up about. 123 Why do you think you are reacting this way? How can you start being more calm and objective about this?

Letting Go Of Comparing In a world where we are constantly bombarded by other people’s “highlight reels,” it can be easy to start comparing. Know this truth. The lives people post online are so filtered, posed, and planned, they’re not even real. It’s likely the 48th one taken in an exhausting slew of snapshots trying to get the perfect angle to hide every perceived imperfection. Let’s turn it around. Write down all the amazing things that make you special, so that you can let go of comparing yourself to others. What are some things that only you can offer to the world around you? What is fantastic about your life? What is wonderful about your family, friends, and other loved ones? What is great about your career? What is unique about your appearance?

Letting Go Of Conceit Conceit is NOT the same as confidence. Having confidence simply means that you believe in yourself, your efforts, and your experiences. Conceit means that you think you are inherently better than every- one else simply by existing. You may very well be the best but there’s always room for improvement. Get honest with yourself about what areas you might have some conceit about, and how you can start to let it go. What areas do you find yourself being conceited? Where do you think this conceit stems from? How can you adopt a more humble mindset?

Letting Go Of Your Comfort Zone If you never let yourself out of your comfort zone, you’ll never be able to grow to your fullest potential. It’s nice and safe in your comfort zone, but that’s not where you should stay if you really want to live your best life and thrive. Jump out and see what happens. You’ll surprise yourself. Think of some ways you can start to let go of your comfort zone. How has staying within your comfort zone kept you from growth in your life? Why do you think it’s so hard for you to let go of your comfort zone? How can you step out of your comfort zone in your personal life? How can you step out of your comfort zone in your professional life?

Letting Go Of Procrastination Procrastinating creates a lot of unnecessary stress, and also gives people the impression that you’re un- reliable. It also causes you to fall even further behind with your responsibilities. This doesn’t mean that you should take on everything anyone hands to you, but you do need to be more intentional BEFORE you commit. Think about what you are putting off, and write down the steps you need to take and get it done. What have you been putting off again and again? Why do you think you are responding this way? What do you need to do now to address this? E.g. Do you need to have a conversation with someone? Can you delegate or re-negotiate your responsibilities? Come up with some go to responses if you’re asked to do something you do not want to do in the future.

Letting Go Of Ungratefulness Is it hard to be grateful for what you have and where you are, because you’re too busy trying to have bigger and better things? It’s okay to be ambitious, but it’s not good to be ungrateful for what’s happen- ing to you right now. Take a minute to be grateful for what life is for you now, at this moment. Even if everything isn’t perfect, there are always things (even small things) to be thankful for and appreciate. What do you have to be grateful for in your life right now? (Be thoughtful about this — you have a whole page)

Letting Go Of What Others Think It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. It’s hard to maintain this mentality, especially when the haters come out, but it’s the truth. Mostly when people think poorly of you, it’s because of an issue that they have with themselves that they project onto you. (Other times, you might need to look inward, and see if maybe you are not being the best version of yourself; and that’s what’s creating the problem.) If you know you’re not doing something wrong, and people are hating you anyway, it’s time to let it go. When do you notice yourself worrying about what other people think of you? Why does it matter so much to you? How much time do you think others spend thinking about you vs themselves? Are the people you’re trying to please people you want in your life? Why and why not? How can you start to change your mindset whenever you begin to worry about how others think?

Letting Go Of Needing To Be Ready Here’s the truth. It’s never the perfect time to do anything. There will always be some excuse or reason to not move forward and to stay in the planning stages. There is so much opportunity and growth to be had by simply taking the next steps and working things out as you go along. If you never get out of the beginning, you’ll never know where the end is. Take that leap of faith. So stop wasting time on something that’s impossible to achieve. What is one thing you haven’t moved forward with because you don’t think ready? Is it / Are you truly not ready or are you simply afraid of the uncertainties? What’s the worst that can happen? When was the last time “the worst” happened to you? How did you recover? What makes you think you won’t recover this time? What daily small steps can you take to move forward with this project?

Letting Go Of Insecurity Insecurity is just a lack of confidence. When we are insecure, it means that we don’t think we are good enough, and are lacking love for ourselves in that area. There is always a way to grow and be more loving with yourself, so don’t feel you always have to stay insecure about certain things. You are unique, and you have so many things to offer the world that nobody else can. Don’t rob yourself or others from experiencing those gifts by staying in a place of insecurity. Name some of your insecurities? Where do you think these insecurities come from? When do you notice your insecurity is more prevalent? Why do you think it gets worse at these times? What can you do to build confidence around your insecurities and love yourself more?

Letting Go Of Judgment Being judgmental is never a good look. Everyone is fighting their own battles and walking their own path, and you can never know all the details. Nothing good comes from being judgmental, so why waste the time and energy? The world needs more kindness. Be one to spread that instead of judgment. What do you judge other people for? Why do you judge them for it? Do you think they can fully control that or are they trapped in a situation or mentality they simply can’t get out of? Try to be objective here. How can you reframe what you think of this person? Why do they deserve your love & kindness instead of your judgment?

Letting Go Of Jealousy Jealousy can pop up anywhere. Left unchecked, it will sprout out of control. Just like worry, jealousy is usually something we build up in our heads about something that may or may not be taken out of con- text. (Yes, sometimes that person IS after your partner, but that doesn’t mean go slash their tires.) It’s all about what you do when jealousy hits you. When do you get jealous? What do you think is the root cause? How can you step back, be more objective, and communicate concerns in healthier ways?

Letting Go Of Lying Few things can destroy relationships as quickly as lying. What makes this so damaging is how difficult it is to rebuild that trust. Trust is kind of like tissue paper. Once it’s wrinkled or torn, it’ll never quite go back to the way it was. Whatever your reasons may be, if you have a habit of lying to people, it’s important to let it go. When do you get the urge to lie the most? Why do you want to lie about these things? Do you think you’re doing yourself a favor? Are you doing the other party a favor? Why? How will the other person feel when they find out the truth? What are some ways you do or things you can say to remain truthful and yet gentle?

Letting Go Of Thinking You’re Always Right Nobody can be right all the time. It’s important to understand that there are other perspectives and details in any situation, and there’s no way that you could know them all to take them into account. An- other thing to keep in mind is that how you do things isn’t the way others might do them. This is okay, and something that you need to accept. The important thing is that whatever those things are, they get done. People don’t have to do things your way, to do them the right way. When do you find yourself not allowing people to do things in their own way, or to think their own thoughts? Why do you think you do this? Does being right make you feel more powerful, useful, valued, better than? Yes No Maybe Does being wrong make you feel stupid, lost, less than? Yes No Maybe Why does being right (or wrong) not have any bearing on your worth or intellect? What are some things you can tell yourself the next time you feel you have to be right especially when the issue is not critical?

Letting Go Of Thinking You’re Always Right Nobody can be right all the time. It’s important to understand that there are other perspectives and details in any situation, and there’s no way that you could know them all to take them into account. An- other thing to keep in mind is that how you do things isn’t the way others might do them. This is okay, and something that you need to accept. The important thing is that whatever those things are, they get done. People don’t have to do things your way, to do them the right way. When do you find yourself not allowing people to do things in their own way, or to think their own thoughts? Why do you think you do this? Does being right make you feel more powerful, useful, valued, better than? Yes No Maybe Does being wrong make you feel stupid, lost, less than? Yes No Maybe Why does being right (or wrong) not have any bearing on your worth or intellect? What are some things you can tell yourself the next time you feel you have to be right especially when the issue is not critical?

Letting Go Of Judgment As you can see, there are many things that can be healthier to let go of than to hang onto. It all comes down to making sure we stay balanced, healthy, self-aware, objective, and thoughtful with our actions and feelings. Now that you’ve reached the end of this workbook, hopefully you have learned some ways to practice these things, so that you can let go of things that aren’t serving you once and for all. Make a commitment to yourself today. I, ______________ promise myself that I will stay balanced, healthy, self-aware, objective, and thoughtful with my actions and feelings. I will no longer hold onto things that aren’t good for me. I am going to let go of what doesn’t keep my life moving forward, and live my absolute best life. Date: