Important Announcement
PubHTML5 Scheduled Server Maintenance on (GMT) Sunday, June 26th, 2:00 am - 8:00 am.
PubHTML5 site will be inoperative during the times indicated!

Home Explore WNNWA Spring | Summer 2018

WNNWA Spring | Summer 2018

Published by sara, 2018-06-19 17:49:08

Description: The national magazine of The Compassionate Friends,We Need Not Walk Alone, featuring articles by and for parents, siblings, and grandparents who are grieving the death of a child in their family.

Keywords: grief,loss of a child,bereaved parents,bereaved sibling,loss of a sister,loss of a brother,loss of a grandchild,bereaved grandparent,death of a child,death of a grandchild,death of a sister,death of a brother

Search

Read the Text Version

We Need Not Walk Alone For bereaved families and the people who care about them, following the death of a child. Spring | Summer 2018

Watch the sunrise… Remember the laughter… Celebrate what was… ~ Sascha Wagner

INSIDE this issue Spring | Summer 2018FEATURES 6 The Positive Impact of a TCF National Conference by Peggi Johnson 9 My Airy Fay by Aqua Carnahan10 Why I Attend The Compassionate Friends: Then & Now by Sherrie Coronas12 What is Our Option B? by Ghislaine Thomsen14 Does Grief Ever Really Go Away? Part 2 by Bob Baugher, Ph.D.16 The Wisdom of Darcie Sims A New Season, A New Way of Seeing18 Good Gracious Grief by Victoria Knowles21 Memories of Love, Melodies of Hope by Pamela Hagens22 The Loss of a Brother, the Birth of a Son: How I learned to Parent While Grieving by Kristina Brune25 It Was Real, Right? by Allie Sims Franklin28 Worldwide Candle Lighting30 Music Strikes a Chord by Gloria Jordan31 Circle by Eva Lager DEPARTMENTS 4 A Message from the Executive Director32 TCF Patron Donations42 TCF Board of Directors and Staff The views presented within this magazine represent those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of The Compassionate Friends. Cover photo: © mckaphoto/stock.adobe.com, Inside cover photo: © leekris/stock.adobe.com Back photo: © Carla Goff We Need Not Walk Alone|3

Sitting Alone I left St. Louis after a very busy week planning for our upcoming national conference “Gateway to Hope and Healing” to be held in St. Louis, July 27-29, 2018. It was a very, very busy week spent with lots of different people from the national office, hotel staff, and the awesome conference committee. As wonderful as the week was, I was leaving exhausted and in need of rest. I greatly looked forward to my seat on the plane. It was a small commuter plane, an EMB- 145 ExpressJet. There was no business or first class, everyone was the same. It was the type of configuration that has two seats on one side of the aisle and one seat on the other side. I had been lucky enough to reserve the single seat side of the aisle.Along our grief journey, it seems we have “assigned” seats. We are assigned seats in the child loss section of life, whetherour loss is a child, grandchild, brother or sister. We would never choose these seats for us or anyone else! We forever wishthat we had not been assigned this seat. It does not fit us properly. It is extremely uncomfortable. There is too much noisebut at the same time it is silent. We would do anything to get out of this seat!As much as we do not like this seat, we really cannot ever get out of this grief seat. We will always feel the loss, though in adifferent intensity; day by day, month by month, and year by year.Sitting alone in my assigned seat for the trip back home I felt it really reflected my grief journey. I looked over at those onthe side of the aisle with two seats. They were all sitting with someone. Some had family members beside each other andshared cuddles and funny tales. Others appeared to be on business trips and glanced and pointed at one another’s computerscreens. Some were with complete strangers but found things they had in common to chat about.I sat alone and I chose to sit alone.When I selected where I would sit ahead of the flight, I thought it was the perfect seat. I would not need to struggle with ashared arm rest. I would have my own space without a need to make small talk. I would be alone and I liked it.However, I started to get a little envious of the chatter, the laughter, the sharing. I too had missed that when grieving, until Ifound The Compassionate Friends.Eventually on this journey, I no longer wanted to sit alone. I searched for and found a few family members who wouldstill listen to my “Tony” stories and hug me when tears fell rather than wiping them away. I even found new friends, TheCompassionate Friends, who willingly shared the arm rest, allowing me to use it as often as needed. I had discovered a new“family” in Compassionate Friends.Just as I reflected on my own grief journey, it may be a good time to do the same with your grief journey. Start by askingyourself a couple of questions:What seat do you typically pick to sit in on your grief journey?Does that seat still fit you or is it time to try another?If you are sitting alone, I certainly understand. We all need some time alone to reflect, recharge, and just be. But, we allneed each other from time to time so we “Need Not Walk Alone.” You may have traveled days, weeks, months, or evenyears alone. Please know you do not have to go it alone! The healing power of The Compassionate Friends is that we havechapter leaders, steering committee members, Facebook moderators, regional coordinators, and conference volunteers whoare there for you.4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

If you find now that you have more strength and are beginning to empathize with others, you might try a different seat. © robsonphoto/stock.adobe.comReflect back on the early journey of grief where you needed support, perhaps struggled with going it alone, and yearnedfor someone who truly understood the struggles encountered on this grief journey. If you think back to these times of greatdespair and feel a little stronger, seek opportunities to help others.We stay with The Compassionate Friends yearsand decades after our loss to volunteer and help,not because we need the frequent, sometimesdaily, support but to pay it forward to others whounselfishly and generously gave their time. Thosewho help do so not because they need it butrather because they know the need. Please reachout, take someone’s hand, and help them on theirjourney.Tony’s MomDebbie Rambis, TCF Executive Director How I Found Hope ... As a mother, to have part of your soul ripped away, is a pain like no other. Hope was difficult for me to find. For me, hope was found through my faith and love. The beauty of a sunrise, the clouds in the sky, the birds singing, the splendor of nature. Hope was knowing that I can laugh and cry and it is ok. Hope was knowing I could enjoy life and it was ok. All of these things are renewed hope every day. Missing my Angel Meggie is never going to change. She will always be my first thought in the morning and my last whisper at night. My faith assures me, that we will be together again. I revel in that beautiful image. While I’m walking the journey on earth, I know I’m not alone. I feel her sweet whisper when the wind blows, her warm beautiful light touches me when the sun warms my skin. Hope for me is knowing that she is always with me, and the love we shared will always carry me through even on the dark days. Her light will shine with me forever.   Tracy Sheppard, Meg’s Mom We Need Not Walk Alone|5

© iko/fotolia.com The Positive Impact of a TCF National Conference by Peggi Johnson The Orlando conference was my eighth consecutive national conference, which I think qualifies me as a “conference veteran.” I’ve learned the lingo. I know how to attach stickers to my badge the right way. I know what the hearts and butterflies mean. I know that there will be workshops I want to attend that will be offered simultaneously with other workshops I want to attend; I realize I will be forced to choose. I know some of the entertainment will dovetail with my personal taste and some won’t. I know to look for restrooms off the beaten path. I know to plan some downtime in the days following the conference. But I’m never prepared for everything. I was stunned by the number of attendees and the size, scope and depth of the conference. There were over 60 workshops. By my count, 36 of those were new workshops, often offered by new presenters. I was astonished by how many people stuffed themselves into small rooms, sitting on the floor, clearly in search of some particular support in their journey. I could not believe how many butterflies and hearts were affixed to name badges, meaning that it was their first conference or that their bereavement was less than two years. I was astounded by how many people I met had lost their child in the last six months; I was awed by their courage as they figure out how to survive their loss. From the depths of my heart, I hope they found little nuggets that will help them persist as they slog their way towards thriving. I was delighted by the warm hugs and friendly greetings I received from people I know from previous conferences. I was elated 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

that the conference bags so generously donated by Open were attending the conference, that awareness offered someto Hope are such a perfect size, comforted to know I’ll be small comfort. It helped me reframe it.putting my bag to good use at home. I was pleased to get asecond picture button of my son, carefully choosing a photo I was proud that my small chapter had seven conferees infrom his toddler days even though he died when he was 19. attendance; three of them attending for the first time. I was so very proud of that. I also felt lifted up and enveloped byWhile I was grateful for new workshops and new presenters, people who are a part of my day-to-day ordinary life. It wasI was also grateful for some familiar standbys which I a special treat.have come to rely upon to give me the tools and incentiveI need to survive the year ahead. I was thankful for the I was relieved that I now know to allow myself some freeinspirational opening and closing speeches: the first given time; it’s liberating to not try to do everything anymore.by an amazing man who gave voice to the unspeakable toll I actually enjoyed some time by the pool with those verygun violence has claimed in his family and his community. friends from my daily life.The fact that he still finds comfort in mission moved medeeply and he shifted me out of any complacency I may I am glad to know that in July of 2018, there will be St.have about the seriousness of the problem. Louis where the “Gateway to Hope and Healing” conference awaits.I appreciate that the closing speaker offered such a strongvoice for bereaved siblings. It moved me to tears that her After adopting two children, Peggi resigned from her corporate career infather was there, attending his first conference in order tohear his daughter’s eloquent presentation. telecommunications and devoted herself to full-time motherhood. WhenI was discomforted by the realization that the last time I her son, Jordan, died by suicide at the age of 19, Peggi, her husband Jeff,was in Orlando, many years ago, I was there to take mychildren to Disney World. The children running around the and her daughter Claire were devastated and dumbfounded.They joined thehotel displaying their Mickey Mouse ears was hard for me.When I realized that some of those children were probably Arlington, VA Chapter of TCF and Peggi edited the newsletter for six chaptersbereaved siblings, possibly present because their parents in the Washington, DC area for two years. After her husband’s retirement, they relocated to Charlottesville, VA where they joined the Piedmont, VA TCF Chapter. Peggi serves as chapter co-leader and edits the chapter newsletter. She is also a volunteer for hospice and writes articles for TCF. We Need Not Walk Alone|7

Join us in St. Louis, Missouri forTCF’s 41st National Conference July 27-29, 2018A weekend spent surrounded by other bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings is a unique experience that only can befound at a TCF National Conference. It is a place where hope grows and friendships are made with others who truly understand.With inspirational keynote speakers, abundant workshops for everyone’s wants and needs, and a remembrance candle lightingprogram culminating with the annual Walk to Remember, this time of healing and hope is the gift we give ourselves. Join us astogether we remember and share the everlasting love we have for our precious children, siblings and grandchildren.• Choose to attend over a hundred different workshops and sharing sessions, given by professionals and also individualsjust like you.• Take advantage of “Healing Haven” to receive free personal services such as a massage.• Discover the special art project, “100 Siblings Remembered,” commissioned as a tribute to our lost siblings, created byJessica Wilson.• Craft items to commemorate the love for your family member in the “Crafty Corner”.• Step away for a quiet moment of pause in the “Reflection Room”.• Explore the TCF Marketplace offering items for purchase that are meaningful to all on the grief journey together.• Reflect back on the conference by thumbing through your 2018 Keepsake Memorial Journal.Featuring Keynote Speakers Basia Mosinski, MB MFA is the founder and CEO of OneLife.Coach - Mind, Nisha Zenoff, Ph.D. LMFT is a Body, & Spiritual Alignment Coach. She California licensed marriage and is TCF Newport Beach Chapter founder family counselor, psychotherapist, and leader. Her stepson Logan died in grief counselor, and dance/movement 1993 in a head-on train collision; her therapist and bereaved mother of son Richard died in 2014 of a pulmonary Victor Zenoff. She is the author of The embolism on an airplane. Unspeakable Loss: How Do You Live After a Child Dies? published in 2017.Stéphane Gerson is a writer whose Chris Lourenco was only nine-years-oldmemoir Disaster Falls: A Family History when his older brothers, Zachary 17 and(Crown, 2017) explores the death of Alexander 14, were electrocuted during ahis eight-year-old son Owen and its sailboat ride that struck low lying powerimpact within his family. Gerson is also lines. Chris attended his first TCF nationala historian at NYU, where he directs conference in Boston in 2005 and metthe Institute of French Studies. other surviving siblings who could relate to what he was going through.Conference will be held at the Marriott St. Louis Grand 800 Washington Ave St. Louis, Missouri 63101 To make reservations for the hotel, call 800-397-1282 Register today online at compassionatefriends.org or by calling 877.969.0010 to request a registration packet.8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

My Airy Fay by Aqua Carnahan© andreiuc88 / stock.adobe.com Ah, there you go! You were a star And you are a rose. And the loss of you burns. A tiny little thing dancing on her toes. But whether or not I will it, the world still turns. Loose golden brown locks, Crazy fly-away hair, I close my eyes Surrounding a face so delicate, fair. And remember a girl More precious than diamonds, lovely as a pearl. Oh, there you are. And there you are. And you are a star, You are my star. With a presence like fireflies caught in a jar! With a presence like fireflies caught in a jar. I cannot keep you. I must set you free I could not keep you. But the joy of your life was a gift to me. But I won’t set you free. Because in my heart, you are always with me. Well, here I am. And the dust has settled. Aqua’s daughter, Casey Rae, passed away in July 2007 at the age of The pain in my heart is an ugly nettle. 17 to a seizure. She relied on The Compassionate Friends,not only There may be a hole for herself, but to direct concerned friends and family members to as That is shaped like you an online resource. She is the proud mother and grandmother of two And it hurts, and I miss you but...there is nothing I can do. surviving daughters, a grandson and two granddaughters. She lives and works in South Carolina but is originally from Michigan, where her Yes. Life goes on. heart remains. She spends most of her free time reading and spending And the pain, it stays time with her partner of 12 years. But I learn to deal with it better each day. We Need Not Walk Alone|9

© SunnyS/stock.adobe.comWhy I Attend The CompassionateFriends: Then & Nowby Sherrie Coronas What I was able to do that day was to listen and observe. Every painful statement uttered by anotherWhen our 23-year-old son Ian passed away grieving parent was like a dagger to my heart. But,following an 8-month battle with cancer, I didn’t there they were…parents who were living throughthink I could go on. Life felt completely unbearable, this awful, unthinkable experience of child loss. Forand it seemed impossible that there could be a future some, it was recent and raw. For others, it had beenwithout him here with us. I was blessed, however, to many years. No matter the length of time that hadhave two friends tell me about The Compassionate passed since they had last held their child, the truthFriends (TCF) within days of our loss. Sadly, they was that the pain – to some degree – was still there.had both suffered losses of their own within the Yet, somehow, they made it. That was a powerfulsame year. We were all in this together. message all by itself. From that first meeting and over the course of the year that followed, I haveAt my first TCF meeting in November 2016, just drawn strength from others who are on the sameweeks after Ian’s passing, I could barely get a word quest to find a way forward.out of my mouth. In Hawaii, we gather around alarge square table and I could see those sitting on In subsequent meetings, I was able to share morethe far side of it straining to hear what I had to and more. Sharing, I soon realized, is the primarysay. It was a beautiful thing to have strangers care method of healing employed at TCF meetings. Itas much as they did. However, my voice was weak was therapeutic and life-saving. Today, I continueand my heart was shattered. All I could do was to to share about my journey, the ups and downs ofsqueak out a few words. I’m pretty sure I told them grief. Sometimes, I feel strong. At other times, II lost my son to cancer but not much more. Theyunderstood completely.1 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

still struggle – big time. While initially attendance at the Someone recently asked me why I continue to attendmeetings was about mere survival, eventually it was about the meetings. I explained to them that I am still healingkeeping my sanity. When others in the world seemed to and find the ongoing support of TCF invaluable. Now, inthink that the crying spells should have subsided and life addition to the support I gain from the group, I can onlyshould be returning to normal, those at TCF knew better hope that one of those new parents might look across thethan that. There is never any pressure to “get over” our loss. table at me and, as impossible as it seems, realize that theySixteen months after Sharing, I soon realized, is the too can somehow survivelosing Ian, my attendance primary method of healing employed at their loss and find a wayat TCF monthly meetings forward, one step at ais also about supporting time.others as much as it is TCF meetings. It was therapeutic Sherrie Coronas lost her 23-year-about my own healing. old son, Ian, following his heroicAt nearly every meeting, and life-saving. eight-month battle with cancer.we meet a new member She has been a member of Theof the community that no Compassionate Friends, Honoluluone ever wants to join. Chapter, since his passing inSometimes, I meet them on the way up in the elevator. It’s 2016. Sherrie lives on the island of Oahu with her husband, David, and theireasy to spot them with their broken hearts and crushed son Zach. A freelance and public relations writer for decades, she turned tospirits. The truth is, hearing their stories hurts. It’s not easy writing to help process her grief and started a blog titled IANspiration: Gifts ofto listen to someone in utter and all-consuming pain. Our God. She also volunteers with the local Meals on Wheels and her church.hearts all break together and we become family.How I Found Hope ... © Tim De Frisco/fotolia.comI had been actively attending Compassionate Friends meetings since six weeksafter my son, Mark, died suddenly from unintentional medical errors, leaving ayoung wife, and two-year-old and five-year-old children. It must have been aboutyear three into my heart rendering grief, when something made me realize thateveryone dies here from some reason. Some people get to live only minutes, somea few years, some 20 years, some 46, some 70 years, and so forth. Who was I to beexempt from having this happen to me? From that moment on, I tried (and amstill trying five years on) to be grateful for the time I was given to be Mark’s momand to celebrate his life instead of dwelling on his death. Yes, I know that he diedhere, but he really, really lives in our hearts, in our memories, and now just insome other place.    Kit Daniher, Mark’s Mom Southwest Florida Chapter, Facilitator and Loving Listener We Need Not Walk Alone|11

© Sondem/stock.adobe.com What is Our Option B? by Ghislaine Thomsen We are over the halfway mark to five years, and it gives openly about my Andrea, in a manner that is not sad. me the chills to think about the reality of our new life. We Keeping her beautiful soul alive by writing about her, are NOT over it, as some may think. We never will be, laughing at the great memories we cherish as a family, of course. We try to figure out how to walk through the and always putting love first and letting people know that darkness, while trying to have a productive life. it is okay to talk about her. I have consistently done this since July 4, 2015 and I have witnessed how engaging I think about this book, Option B: Facing Adversity, people can be. We have to remember that once upon a Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, written by Facebook time, we were these people who did not know what to COO, Sheryl Sandberg, after the sudden passing of her say, so it is okay to help them understand. husband. I relate to what Sheryl Sanders wrote. When we are faced with tragedy, we have to make some decisions This process has strengthened me in a way I did not that are unthinkable! How can we possibly go on? How know possible. Why? Because keeping her memory alive can we get out of bed, work, talk to people, and go on allows me to grieve with a lot of love, a lot of tenderness. with our lives? This goes for bereaved parents, siblings, It allows me to feel her next to me. grandparents, and spouses. There is no discrimination when it comes to grief. My husband, our daughters and I all grieve differently, as I have often written, but we have one thing in Like the author of this book, I have found that facing common – the love and the memories of Andrea and the my grief head on, while difficult, has allowed me to go unbreakable desire to honor her, act in a way to make through the stages of grief and accept the unimaginable her proud, and continue her legacy. We are smiling and situation of becoming a bereaved mom. I thought that if laughing, all four of us are; the smiles are starting to be people were uncomfortable talking to me about my child real and the joy is starting to come back. It is different, I would make it a point to open the dialog. Speaking but it exists. 1 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

I have chosen to go through this unthinkable tragedy with what we can control has made our grieving journey nothope. Andrea was a very spiritual being, who always trusted only bearable, but it has become a way of life that we arethe Universe. I am choosing to trust the path chosen for her embracing.and for us by the Universe. Just by thinking this way, I knowshe is proud of us, and THAT makes me smile and brings It is our Option B.me joy. Married for over 30 years to her Danish soulmate, Ghislaine is the motherShe did not go in vain, and my new purpose in life is to of three grown daughters Stephanie, Andrea and Elizabeth. Born in Nicecontinue her legacy, and to give hope to those who are lost, France, she came to Houston in 1981, and has had a long real estate careeras I once was, not so long alongside her husband for the better part of her adult life. Her life changedago. forever in July of 2015, when her beautiful daughter Andrea,We, as a family, so often I have chosen to go through this age 24, was tragically killed in ahear her words of wisdom unthinkable tragedy with hope. road accident. With the supportresonate in our hearts of The Compassionate Friends,– “Trust the Universe, her family has tried to turn asurround yourself with tragic situation into a hopeful and productive life. Their eldestpositive energy, and you daughter started a sibling group inwill find joy, even in adversity”. Before she received her their chapter, and Ghislaine has consistently stayed involved with TCF. Theyangel wings, I did not fully grasp what she meant; I was too are devoted to helping others, and as of January 2018, she has become the co-busy to notice what she really meant. Since her passing, not leader of their growing chapter in Katy, Texas. She has found that love, hopeonly I, but all four of us, have been in tune with our feelings, and spirituality has brought her to accepting her fate, and freed her to helpour thoughts, and the life lessons that Andrea taught us. other bereaved parents. Real estate is Ghislaine’s career, providing support toLearning to cut out the negativity in our lives, and control parents in her situation is now her mission.How I Found Hope ... © Tomasz Zajda/fotolia.comHope is a word I couldn’t bring myself to say for many months after losing my daughterEvelyn. And I won’t pretend I’ve embraced it in the way so many people use it. Muchabout losing a child feels hopeless. I had to stop thinking about hope the way I did whileEvelyn was alive in order to make my peace with it. I had to redefine it completely.Hope, to me, has become the possibility that we might meet again on the other side ofthis life. Not the certainty, not the guarantee, just the potential. It is the ineffable grip ofthe heart on the tender object of its desire. It is the willingness to wait, to try, when youhave every reason not to. It is the ability of love to quell the chaos within and withoutthe eternal song of the heart subduing the beast of grief.    Anna Sweat, Evelyn’s Mom www.forloveofevelyn.com TCF of the Woodlands, TX We Need Not Walk Alone|1 3

Does Grief Ever ReallyGo Away? Part 2by Bob Baugher, Ph.D.© Kitja / stock.adobe.comIn the last issue of We Need Not Walk Alone, I asked the Heart (Emotional) Reactionsquestion that’s in this title, and of course you already • Helplessness—“I don’t really feel in control of my lifeknew the answer. In that article we focused on grief issues anymore.”related to the Mind. This article is Part 2 of the answer in • Anger—“There are things about the death that stillwhich we look at grief from four other perspectives: Heart make me angry.”(emotional), Spiritual, Social, and Physical. As I said last • Guilt—“I still have guilt thoughts such as, ’If only…’time, when you approach people who’ve not experienced a and ‘Why didn’t I…’ and ‘I should’ve.’”significant death in their life, especially the death of a child, • Sadness/Depression—“There is still a sadness inside ofgrandchild or sibling, and ask, “How can you tell if someone me that hasn’t gone away.”is in grief?” you often get answers such as, “They are crying, • Grief Attacks—“I’ll be doing something and—boom—they look sad, they talk about their loved one, they aren’t suddenly I’m hit with an upsurge of grief.”themselves, they seem out of it.” • Worried—“As a result of the death I worry a lot that something will happen to my loved ones.”However, as you know, grief is so much more than that.Have you found yourself experiencing any of the reactions • Lost—“Sometimes I walk around just feeling lost.”listed below? If so, that’s grief. You may want to give thisarticle to someone to help them further understand how Spiritual Reactionsyou never will really be “over it.” • God—“My relationship with God has forever changed.”Read the grief reactions below along with statements that • Meaning of Life—“As a result of the death I wonderpeople say and check the ones that still apply to you today: what is the meaning of life.”1 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

• Altered Sense of Just World—“I now know that it is check? Don’t worry if you checked many or a few. There is not a fair world and that bad things happen to good not a “score” to add up. The death forever changed your life. people.” So, the next time you hear someone talk about “grief,” you • Afterlife Beliefs—“I now have a different view of might want to remind them that, while some of the early afterlife.” reactions to a death may subside and even go away, some reactions last a lifetime. Although your child, grandchild orReactions to Other People sibling lived for a short period of time, some of your grief • Feeling Isolated—“Since the death I’ve lost friends.” and more importantly, all of your love, will last a lifetime. • Pain for Other Loved Ones—“It hurts me so much to Why wouldn’t it? see my other family members in grief.” • Family Role Changes—“We can never fill the gaping Love, hole in our family.” Dr. BobPhysical Reactions Dr. Bob Baugher is a Psychology Instructor at Highline College in Des • Crying—“There are still times when I find tears in my Moines, Washington where he teaches courses in Psychology and Death eyes.” Education. As a trainer for LivingWorks he has trained more than 1,000 • Sleep Problems—“I still don’t sleep as well as I used to.” people in suicide intervention. Dr. Baugher has written several books and • Physical Exhaustion/Lack of Energy—“My energy articles on grief and loss. He has been invited to give workshops at TCF level has never returned to normal.” National Conferences for the past 20 years and has been the professional • Feelings of Emptiness—“I just feel empty inside.” adviser to parents and siblings of the South King County (Seattle) Chapter of The Compassionate Friends for 30 years.As I noted last time, these are just some of the griefreactions that can have a lifetime effect. How many did youHow I Found Hope ... © Iakov Kalinin/stock.adobe.comMy wife and I were extremely fortunate that a wonderful woman by the name of ToriLane came to our home as we were sitting Shiva for our daughter Rebecca in 1998. Shetold us about Compassionate Friends. We attended our first meeting within 10 days ofRebecca’s death. In the first several weeks of our journey, we found there was hope. Otherfolks had experienced horrendous loss and survived and, more than that, flourished.Remarkably, during the first three or four weeks of our journey, while we were still in thesob-out-loud stage, we left a meeting. On the way home Diane said that someone cameup to her after the meeting and told Diane something she said at the meeting was veryhelpful. She was amazed that as wounded as she was she could help someone else. Inthat remarkable moment, we both saw more than hope, we saw a path to healing. Jerry Goldsmith, Rebecca’s Dad Chapter Co-Leader of the Longwood/Orlando Chapter We Need Not Walk Alone|1 5

The Wisdom of Darcie SimsA New Season, A New Way of SeeingSpring is the season of shifting, sorting and cleaning house. The time to say I LOVESpring brings with it a sense of renewal, a sense of wanting YOU is NOW. The timeto lighten the load, clear the air and simplify living. It’s a to settle the argument istime to clear away the baggage of winter’s grief and to shed NOW. The time to give athe overcoat that seemed to shelter us from the pain. hug, a kiss, a handshake,Spring is the time when we get a new sense about the cycles an encouragement isof life. When tulips bloom, trees bud and the garden begins NOW. The time is NOWto awaken, there comes a change in perspective. We may and now I want to takebe able to see things in a new light, with new vision, with the time. Funny howa clarity that can only be borne in the fires of loss. We will that works.never go back to being who we were, but we can establisha new sense of self as we work through our grief. We can When you have toocreate a “new normal” as we learn to adapt to the changing little time, it seems andemands of grief. We can get through this time of sorrow, impossible task to grabbut we will not get over it. more. When you haveWe simply learn to look at things differently in the early too much, it seems anlight of spring. impossible task to spendThe death of a loved one teaches us to embrace the it. The time to live is NOW.moments of our life rather than waste them in search oftomorrow. Grief is a thief, stealing away energy and time I want to live my life with as few regrets as possible. So,and I no longer want to be a victim of anything. from now one, I’m going to:There is so little time in life, when you really think about it.I no longer want to waste any of it. Sometimes I forget and • Tell people I love them NOWI get caught up in all the “little stuff ”, like schedules, and • Open all presents NOWchore lists and meetings and appointments. • Eat chocolate once a dayThen I need to step back, take a breath and slow myself • Exercise daily, but give up being guilty if I don’tdown. Then and only then, can I begin to hear the new • Give up being guilty about anythingrhythms of whoever I am becoming. I am forever changed • Dance morebecause someone touched my life. I want to remember that- • Learn to play the banjoalways! • Tell people I love them NOWThe lessons of our losses cannot be ignored nor negated. • Keep my TO DO LIST under controlThey simply are too expensive. I no longer want to count • Read morewhat I have lost. I want to acknowledge the blessings of the • Listen more, talk lesssprings that I did spend with my loved one. • Eat vegetables once a day (but not spinach or beets)I do not want to cloud the joy of our life together with a • Wear comfortable clotheslong list of things that I didn’t say, things I didn’t do, things I • Give up panty hosedidn’t mean. • Tell people I love them NOWThe line between the living and the dead is so thin that it is • Finger paintnot visible, but it separates those who are moving forward • Hug the grandchildren, my spouse, my childrenand those who are standing still in grief and regret. I will no • Run through rain puddleslonger live my life so that I am building up a bank of regrets • Bake cookiesthat will have to be paid at the end of a loved one’s life. • Tell people I love them NOW • Dream more, worry less1 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

• Follow my dreams instead of just dreaming them a single day. If you are not happy with your life, your home, your job, begin to work towards finding something that• Relax more makes your spirit soar. Life is simply too precious to waste in wishing it were something else.• Sit DOWN• Tell people I love them NOW Live your life in celebration and gratitude of those who have so lovingly shared their life with you. Cherish those• Be sad when I am, happy when I am• Try to just BEING, not moments you spentalways DOING together and live your new• Tell people I love them Cherish those moments you spent life now with a renewed NOW commitment to living asSomeone you knew, liked together and live your new life now fully as possible.or loved has died. You did with a renewed commitment to It is acknowledging and living the pain that bringsnot. Whatever the reasons living as fully as possible. forth the energy andfor this turn of events, youare have the opportunity to strength to allow hope and healing to return. Nochange your life to betterreflect your dreams, passions and ambitions. Take a look at matter where you are, no matter what memories you carrywho you are, what you are doing, why you are doing it and with you, may love be what you remember the most.begin to make the changes you want in order to live the lifeyou want to be living instead of the one you are enduring. The late Darcie Sims wrote hundreds of articles over the years on grief andIf you still love your work or your home or your daily life, loss which have been extremely popular and shared in hundreds of TCFtake renewed pleasure in the small moments that make up publications. We Need Not Walk Alone is proud to honor her by featuring selections of her work in a column titled “The Wisdom of Darcie Sims.” © Sandra Cunningham / stock.adobe.com We Need Not Walk Alone|1 7

Good Gracious Grief by Victoria Knowles© deberarr / stock.adobe.com Grief and Gratitude. Two words that aren’t often spoken in Daily, I searched the internet for grief groups dedicated to the same sentence. bereaved parents. I found several online groups, articles written by inconsolable mothers, stories describing the I lost my oldest son, Ben, in June of 2016 in a vehicle anguish and suffering these parents were feeling, and accident. The activities of those first few months are still needed to share with those who understood. I wept for and fuzzy in my current memory, but I do recall the emotion with these strangers. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was seeking of the moment in extreme detail. I remember feeling true in my new role, but I knew I needed to find at least one hopelessness for the first time in my life. thing. You’ve heard it said that the moment we lose our child, we Hope. lose who we once were. Those words are an understatement of our reality. A piece of us - literally a piece of who we are The hope to believe that I was not going to spend the rest - is physically no longer on this planet with us. Just as if we of my journey without feeling joy or seeing my life in color were to lose a segment of our brain, or a limb, or any other again; I couldn’t accept it. major physical aspect of our bodies, we are different. The results were few. In fact, after all my searches, there I mourned, not only for my child, but for the old me. Not was only one that gave me exactly what I was looking for. I only did I want my child back, but I wanted to be able to joined. I felt a tinge of hope that this person and her website feel happiness, excitement, joy...ANY positive emotion, would bring me to the place I was longing to be. I bought without feeling guilty about feeling it. I wondered if it was her book, read her blog posts and watched all her videos. even possible. She was speaking to me. She was inspiring. And then...she was gone. The page closed, but the spark was ignited. 1 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Are there so very few bereaved parents who are willing to allowing their memory to propel us to the peak of what thissurrender the guilt of finding happiness and hope that they life has to give. If we don’t, then we allow their light to fizzlecan’t sustain a webpage? I aligned all that I had learned out with their memory.in the months since losing my son, all that I had felt and This brings us to that crazy word that represents a feelingdenied, all the meditation, memories, and summoning of that is so hard for bereaved parents to muster.my Ben’s strong soul to guide me in the direction that Ishould be going. I then realized, I had to find my own way, Gratitude.my own inner peace. For many, the thought of feeling gratitude when facedMy son had a phrase that with the loss of a child is inconceivablehe would say quite often As keepers of the memories of our -a concept that canin the course of his life induce anger amongif someone doubted his children’s journey here on Earth, we the bereaved if merelyability to do something. I suggested. But considerhad that phrase tattooed have been bestowed with the ultimate this: If you knew, before your childon the inside of my left purpose. We are tasked with showing the was conceived, thatwrist. you would lose them world the light of our children’s souls by to suffer the most“I got this” living the life that they cannot.Three words that I wouldnever have imagined inconceivable tragedywould become the source known, would you stillfrom which I draw my strength to conquer almost all of my have had them? If the answer is undoubtedly yes, then yourinsecurities. gratitude for their life is absolutely more powerful than yourI realized, if I was to honor my son for the rest of my life, I grief.couldn’t do it from my bed. If my son’s life was worth living Your child wants you to feel joy. Your child wants you to beand he was no longer here in physical form to do it himself, happy, and your child absolutely wants you to be thankfulI had to do it for him. That is now my role as his mother. that they were part of your life, and for the life that allowedIf people see me in constant suffering, they will begin to them to be part of you. Grief and gratitude are seeminglyavoid me, as it is human nature to resist that which causes contrary to one another, yet it is almost impossible to havediscomfort or evokes negative emotions. If this happens, one without the other.then how will I accomplish my duty of keeping my son’s We will always have our bad days. Our days when we runmemory alive? If they forget me, then his memory will also from life and hide in a corner so there is no witness tobe forgotten. our tears. We will break down at work, in the car, on theMost bereaved parents go through the motions of life on treadmill at the gym, when we least expect it. We mustauto-pilot. Existing only because they have other children to embrace those moments also, as they are necessary in ourtake care of, or don’t want to cause more suffering for their healing. Allow your tears to cleanse and release you, andfamilies. They’re alive, but have ceased to live. Some parents give you strength to live for your child in the days ahead.of child-loss believe that their life no longer holds purpose, There is no “right way” to grieve, but there is hope that youespecially if they’ve lost an only child. This couldn’t be can and will feel happiness again. You will learn to existfurther from the truth. with all these emotions at the same time. That’s the beautyAs keepers of the memories of our children’s journey here of our new selves. Our tribe is incredible like that.on Earth, we have been bestowed with the ultimate purpose. As crazy as it sounds to hear a bereaved mother say this…We are tasked with showing the world the light of our since Ben died, I’ve never been more thankful. Not for thechildren’s souls by living the life that they cannot. We do things I have in my life, but for the people I still have in it.this by illuminating their strength and effervescence, and It has awakened a gratitude in me that I never experienced (continued on page 20) We Need Not Walk Alone|1 9

(continued from page 19) Victoria is the mother of Ben Spotts, IV, her oldest son, who died in the summer of 2016 in a head-on vehicle collision at the age of 21. She livesbefore I knew how easy it was to lose a part of you in the in Canton, GA with her husband, mother, and three of her remainingblink of an eye. I have more compassion, I love deeper, and five children. She is a Radiology Technologist, a real estate agent, andI appreciate every little instant I have with my remaining grandmother to two with one more on the way.children. I try to live in the moment, and seek everyopportunity to say “yes” to an adventure where I can take Victoria belongs to the Marietta Chapter of The Compassionate Friends whereBen along with me in spirit. she is the newsletter editor and small group facilitator. She has started a local grassroots outreach program for newly bereaved mothers, where she tries toThrough this journey, I have slowly begun to see in color make contact and present information within the first month of their child’sagain, and have learned that happiness is not something loss. She is also the editor of Live On, Vilomah, a new site currently beingthat you can find by seeking, but rather a choice; a shift in developed in dedication to bereaved parents seeking to honor their childrenperspective that only you can make. There is hope. Let go of through positive living, while inspiring and giving hope to others in our tribe.the guilt and live for your baby.You got this. Connect with Other Bereaved Parents, Grandparents, and © believeinme33/fotolia.com Siblings Everyday on TCF’s Online Support CommunityThe Compassionate Friends offers “virtual Chapters” through an Online Support Community (live chats).This program was established to encourage connecting and sharing among parents, grandparents, andsiblings (over the age of 18) grieving the death of a child. The rooms supply support, encouragement, andfriendship. The friendly atmosphere encourages conversation among friends; friends who understand theemotions you’re experiencing. There are general bereavement sessions as well as more specific sessions:Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday9:00 - 10:00 AM EST(open 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 8:00 - 9:00 PM ESTdepending on moderator Bereaved Less than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings No Surviving Childrenavailability) 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM ESTParents/Grandparents/Siblings Bereaved More than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings9:00 - 10:00 PM ESTParents/Grandparents/SiblingsFriday Saturday Sunday10:00 - 11:00 AM EST (open 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 8:00 - 9:00 PM ESTdepending on moderator Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Survivors of Suicideavailability) 10:00 - 11:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM ESTParents/Grandparents/Siblings Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Parents/Grandparents/Siblings9:00 - 10:00 PM ESTPregnancy/Infant Loss9:00 - 10:30 PM ESTParents/Grandparents/Siblings Visit www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/online-communities/online-support/ for more information and to register.2 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Memories of Love, Melodies of Hope by Pamela Hagens© stocksnapper / stock.adobe.com You are there and I am here I am told, that Love is not lost, and the melody of Hope will write new lyrics upon my heart. And I ask the question; I am cautioned that the loss will always be, but the How do I keep going when the memories are too painful memories of Love will rescue and sustain me; and the melody has stopped? I am reminded that the melody of Hope will sing again, for How can I dance when the music has been muted? they are connected; the memories, the love, the melody, the hope. There are moments – silent moments, unusual moments- that I find myself watching life, not participating, but a So I am determined that I will find my way. spectator watching a hard-fought competitive match. I watch, rooting for no one. I will step out on the dance floor of life once again. I watch from a far distance, where everything is blurry and I will find my way, with the encouraged whispers of those small. who impart wisdom and patience. How do I welcome the memories, where are the melodies? I am determined- so I trust that hope will invite me to slow dance to the music in my soul. I am told to start somewhere- so I look at one picture today, I reflect upon one memory today. I am determined – so I trust that the Memories of Love will lead me to Melodies of Hope I am told, in time I will navigate the rough, choppy currents with increased strength. Pamela and her husband, Christopher of 26 years, live in Tennessee. On July 5, 2013, their eldest son (19) transitioned in a sudden, tragic accident. Two months after their son’s passing, Pamela attended her first TCF Chapter meeting in Nashville. Pamela has been very active in the local Chapter; participating in book share panels, national conference review panels, poetry readings at Candle Lightening Memorials, numerous newsletter entries, as well as reaching out to newly bereaved, and sharing encouragement to bereaved families through her writings titled “Reflections.” Christopher and Pamela have two other sons and one granddaughter. Pamela is a running enthusiast, group fitness instructor, avid reader and writer. We Need Not Walk Alone|2 1

© falconkoontz/ stock.adobe.com The Loss of a Brother, the Birth of a Son: How I Learned to Parent While Grieving by Kristina Brune My son was born ten months after my little brother was My anxiety over something else traumatic happening to killed in a car accident. my family–and now my baby–threatened to overwhelm me and I obsessed over it. Some days and weeks my grief When we found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t completely sure and anxiety would take over and I would become lost. my husband and I had made the right decision. It felt too Dishes and laundry would sit, important tasks would be soon. I was struggling to cope with the loss of my brother left undone, and I would forget dates and events. All of this and everything in my life felt complicated. On the other left my husband feeling alone and overwhelmed, trying to hand, we were desperate for some happiness in our life and hold it all together—and he was grieving, too. Some days I I knew my brother would never have wanted me to put was combative, intentionally picking fights with him. These having a family on hold. fights would leave me curled in a ball on the floor of my closet and leave him frustrated, trying to be supportive and Everything they say about what it’s like to finally hold your see me through this, but struggling to come to terms with baby in your arms was true for me. My son, just by being the person I had become. I could not pull myself out of this alive, did more to heal me than anything before–or since– cycle of being okay one day and being completely, totally his birth. However, what was one of the happiest times in not okay the next. my life was also one of the hardest. 2 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

After I had my daughter and life got even busier, I got it is, do not feel guilty about taking time away from yourbetter at hiding my grief and ignoring it. But it was there, kids. It will be better for everyone.smoldering like coals in a fire. The sadness and anger did find Talk about Ita way to come out—just usually in the form of frustration Do not hide your grief. There will be times when pretendingat my husband and children. I was short with everyone.Sometimes my kids just being kids—the noise, the questions, you’re okay is the only way to get through the day and that’s okay—there’sthe constant neediness— something to be said fordrove me crazy and I Because I became a parent in the middle “fake it ‘til you make it.”lashed out more often of the worst experience of my life, the But on the days whenthan I should have. My kind of parent I became was largely it’s just too much, andmain form of coping was holding it in makeshiding behind my phone, you feel like you’lltrying to numb myself. shaped by my grief. burst, it’s okay to cryI read books, watched or otherwise let it out,TV, lost hours on Twitter even if your kids are around. My kids have seen me cryingand Facebook. I was not engaged enough with my family and upset because I miss my brother. They give me hugsand some days I felt like I spent all my energy just trying to and tell me they love me and we talk about why I’m sad. Itsurvive. not only opens the door for me to talk about my brother,Anyone who has grieved will tell you that it is a long which makes me feel good, but it also allows them to ask meprocess. The stages of grief can last for days, weeks, months, questions and learn about the uncle they’ll never know. As ayears … and sometimes come back over and over, in a result, I’ve noticed that when people around us are grievingcyclical process that never seems to end. The passage of or sad, my kids are very compassionate and comforting.time has helped, as it does. I went to counseling and startedlearning how to cope and things are immeasurably better. Answer Their Questions One of the best things about kids is that they are blunt andBecause I became a parent in the middle of the worst not afraid to say what’s on their minds. When my son wasexperience of my life, the kind of parent I became was largely about three, he started asking a lot of questions about howshaped by my grief. I’ve learned so many things the hard way my brother died and he was no longer happy with the “Heas I’ve tried to navigate the long, hard road of grief while went to live with God” kind of answers. He wanted to knowtrying to be a good wife and mother. It hasn’t been easy, but what happened. We told him about it in terms that he couldin many unexpected ways, it has made me a better mom and understand at the time. As they grow older, we give them amade my children stronger, more compassionate people. bit more information, as they can handle it.I’ve been grieving and parenting for 11 years now, and These are hard conversations to have. It’s very hard to talkI’m still working on it. If you’re grieving, I don’t have any about what happened to my brother and I struggle withmagical words of wisdom. Everyone is different and what’s knowing how much information to give my kids. However,worked for me may not work for you. All I can do is share I don’t want them to think death and grief is something thatwhat has worked for me and tell you that you will be okay, we can’t talk about. Talking has helped them process theiryou are doing the best you can, and your kids love you. feelings and express their sadness that they weren’t able to meet and know him.Heal Yourself Get Help When You Need ItAs parents, we’re frequently told how important it is totake time for ourselves. This is even more important when There may come a time when you feel too overwhelmedyou’re grieving. You have to find an outlet that allows you or depressed and are unsure if you can deal with your griefto decompress and take time to learn how to deal with your alone. One-on-one counseling worked for me. It saved mynew normal. This may mean time with friends or time alone marriage and I also think it saved my life. If you’re not readydoing what you enjoy. It might mean counseling. Whatever for one-on-one counseling, look for a support group or find (continued on page 24) We Need Not Walk Alone|2 3

(continued from page 23) finding healthy ways to deal with my grief has allowed me to be a better parent and, most importantly, share myother people who have experienced a loss similar to yours. brother’s memory with my kids.Sometimes the only time I feel okay is when I can talk topeople who know what I’m going through. Kristina Brune is a writer, editor, and marketing professional. She operates a marketing agency and editing service. Kristina’s brother Nathan, died in aGetting help when you need it is the best thing for you and car accident in March of 2006. Since that time, Kristina has slowly workedfor your kids. It’s scary and overwhelming. I didn’t even toward using her experiences to help others, especially grieving siblings. Sheknow how to start talking about my grief, let alone process launched Sibling Soul, a community where grieving siblings can share theirit. But I went into each counseling session thinking that I stories and support each other. Kristina is a graduate of Southeast Missouriwas doing it for my family. It’s not a quick fix and it won’t State University, where she majored in psychology and minored in criminalmake everything better, but it will teach you ways to cope justice and criminology. She also holds her paralegal certificate.Kristina liveswith your loss. outside of St. Louis with her husband and two kids.I know my grief will never completely go away. It willcontinue to haunt me on birthdays and anniversaries andholidays, and in moments I least expect it to surface. But How I Found Hope ... © morrowlight/stock.adobe.om I’m just coming up on the nine-year anniversary of the day my 17-year-old son was killed by a person who chose to run a red light while speeding 20 miles over the posted limit. I’ve learned that grief is like an overloaded back pack. When you first put it on the weight is so heavy your legs buckle under the weight. But each day you just pull yourself up and stand. Eventually, you get stronger and are able to take small walks with the pack. Finally, you are able to carry the load, your back still aches from its weight, but you are able to stand it and carry it. It becomes a part of you. You eventually make peace with the pack and the burden that you carry. There are days when your body is weak; you still cry from the burden of the pack. There are deep grooves in your shoulders from its weight. That’s how I see grief and loss after my son. But it is a burden I wouldn’t give up, because it’s the reminder that my son lived. This final statement isn’t mine, but it’s true. “I loved him then, I love him still, I always have, I always will.”  Tracy Eidson-Zentz, mom of Aaron Oklahoma City, OK2 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

It Was Real, Right? by Allie Sims Franklin© tomertu / stock.adobe.com A few months ago I was struck by this overwhelming fairy princess kind that makes the “magic” sound question/feeling. I write letters to my brother as when you wave it. But somehow the magic was my way to cope, so I’d like to share a bit of one gone. Staring at this silent piece of plastic, it felt with you… as though all the happiness and fun had left the world in one single moment, his last breath of life. It was real, right? I didn’t imagine our time What good was this plastic wand if it couldn’t do the ONE piece of magic that I wanted it to; to turn together? Sometimes it seems like yesterday that I back time, to bring back my loved ones? saw you and other times it feels as though it was all I spent a lot of time feeling this way. And honestly there are still days that I am there…. And there were a dream. I miss your laugh, your voice, the quirky days when I wondered if all the memories I had of my brother were just a dream. Was it real, our ways you did things, the way you loved holidays. lives together? It took me some time to get here, to stop asking the magic wand to turn back time. But How can I do this; face the rest of my time on this it was this painful thought that led me to the most powerful tool I have in my toolkit. Living legacy. earth without these things from you? Don’t get me I hated it when people would tiptoe around wrong; I am a strong person, but wow, on some days me, not wanting to say his name or talk about my brother, for fear it would hurt me. I learned it’s a struggle to get out of bed. that I needed to do concrete things to keep my relationship with my brother in the present tense, For me, on the day I wrote that, it felt that hope to keep his memory alive in my life. He was real, was a word for the past or for other people, not he loved me, I loved him; his legacy lives on. for me. If you feel that way, too, it is so important to know that you are not alone. I have come to learn that hope comes in tiny moments, when you are least expecting it. Hope comes from allowing yourself to grieve and to receive support from those who understand your loss. But on that day, what I wanted was a magic wand. So I pulled out an old plastic wand – the pink, (continued on page 26) We Need Not Walk Alone|2 5

(continued from page 25) This ended the year my mother caught me giving shrine tours to the neighbor children for a quarter a piece. AfterLegacy work is a way that I can share the amazing gifts of she made me give everyone their quarters back, we sat downmy brother, and now my mother, with the world. It helped and really talked about how I felt that I was living with thisme move from wishing others would say his name to a more “angel/ghost.” I had to point out to her that angels don’tactive way to share the impact of him with those who never make any new mistakes or get low grades in handwriting. Ithad the chance to know him. was really hard for me to admit to my parents that when the “shrine” was up and my pictures were nowhere to be seen,Legacy work comes in many forms; it can be a simple I sometimes wondered if they thought that the wrong childrandom act of kindness that you anonymously share had died. We handled it by making sure that both of ourall the way up to sponsoring huge golf tournaments or pictures were placed side by side.foundations. Do what works for you. As a child, I had to figure out how to answer the questionWe started small. My brother was born and died in different of how many brothers and sisters did I have? Am I still ayears but both in September. We dreaded September every sister if there is no brother to tease? I decided to say yesyear. Several years into our grief, my mom got the idea to that I had a brother but he died. When I was older I had tobuy a lunchbox for a needy child in his name and donate it. face the decisions about how to introduce the idea of myThe change was huge in our family; instead of hating to be brother’s legacy to a serious boyfriend. More than one guyin the stores and seeing all the back-to-school supplies, we was freaked out by the idea that we continue to hang allwere scouring the stores for just the right lunchbox. Then the stockings at Christmas. To my relief, the man I marriedwe realized that the lunchbox was only one part of back to was great. When he saw the stockings, he said, “So youschool and the donation grew to back-to-school supplies to have a living and a dead section.” Shortly before we becameaccompany the lunchbox. engaged, I took him to my brother’s grave and he took me to “meet” his dad at the cemetery. He admired the ongoingThe next really difficult milestone month was December, legacy of my brother.Christmas. After breaking down in Toys R Us severalyears in a row, we decided to donate to Toys for Tots for A few years ago our mother died and I felt Austin’s absencethe holidays. There was a brief shouting match in the toy as a deafening silence when it fell to me to make all of theaisle over whether to buy toys for the age he was when he funeral arrangements and to support our father. I don’tdied or the age he would be now. We decided to do both. know if we would have handled this huge event as a team orMy mother did draw the line the year I suggested that my not. But I would have liked to have had him there with me.brother would very much want his big sister to have the A year ago, this month, our father joined him, and now IBarbie Dream House. There is legacy work and then there is am the last one of our little family who lives on Earth.milking the situation… Every once in a while I talk to him and say that it is his turnThere is no right or wrong way to do legacy work, but it is to spend time with them; I got them all to myself for manyvery important to find the right balance between honoring years. And yet, he was there; not the way we had planned,your sib and still honoring your own life/ contributions. but there. Austin was always a part of our lives, and is still a presence in our family. To cope with my renewed grief, weMust I fill the spaces that my brother won’t be able to? Do I have started the legacy work again. More lunchboxes and school supplies, now in honor of all three of them.have to live for two; running races he’ll never enter, dreaming So what do you need to do to start your own legacy work?dreams he’ll never know? Or can I still be me? Don’t forget • Finding (defining) what role your sibling willme! (Age 16) occupy in the daily and long-term fabric of your life is an important part of the grief process. What aspectThese words describe the struggle I had with trying to find do you want to share with the world (a talent, a cause,the right balance between honoring my brother’s life and a favorite thing; Tinkerbell/Tigger/Oreos/chocolate-maintaining my own identity. My parents’ struggle with this covered potato chips)?contributed to the confusion, too. There were a lot of timesgrowing up when I felt like I was competing with a ghost.My family was military, so we moved every year. Withoutrealizing it, my parents had developed a shrine to honor mybrother.2 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

• Plan ways to share these aspects of your sibling with saying that I’d like to share with you, “No light that was new people in your life – do what feels right to you. born in love can ever be extinguished.” Neither one of them Having a plan will reduce your anxiety about how to is lost to me. They live right here in my heart. I carry their handle the subject. legacy forward with me.• Seek inspiration. Ask others what they have tried When I imagine how I can share those memories and– Pay-it-forward days, a memorial bench or plaque, contributions with others so they can experience fun like we had, love like we shared,scholarship funds, all the amazing things thatetc. There are many Hope is not the absence of grief; happened in our lives andwho have found ways the incredible things yetto honor and include it is the memory of love given and to come, my memoriestheir loved ones in become comforting to me.important events such love received. My legacy work is notas weddings.Each new event brings because he died, butmemories of my brother. We talk about him in our home because he lived. And because he showed us how shortand found a way to acknowledge him in our wedding and precious life was. How can I cheat those who are leftwithout having him be the focus. His death brought me in my family out of those moments that we worked so hardthe knowledge that people die, and I know to spend quality to find? To do so would be to let the moment of my loved one’s death overshadow the many more moments of his life.time with the ones I love rather than build walls to keepmy heart “safe” from being broken. Am I a better person, Hope is not in a magic wand, it is inside of you and me andstronger? I don’t know. If I had the choice, I’d choose to have the next person you hug. The magic comes with each hug,my brother. each time we share the story of our loved ones with anotherThank you, little brother, for your time on earth. You taught person.me to choose love over loneliness, hope over hatred. I can Hope is not the absence of grief; it is the memory of lovesee that love shining through the eyes of my daughter. Your given and love received. Hope is when we remember FIRSTsmile peeks through the dark clouds when there is something that our loved ones lived. The magic wand is a reminderto celebrate and your love is woven into the threads of your to search for hope, even when the clouds are dark and myfavorite stuffed animal that I cuddle when I’m really sad. You heart is busy cataloging the losses.ARE real, our life together was real and I carry you with me inthe world, spreading the story of your mighty fight with those I thank you for allowing me to share a bit of his life with youwho are weary and tired, giving them hope to take one more and I hope you will find ways to share your sibling’s legacystep. My job, as the big sister, is to talk about you, to share with me and with others.your story, and to carry forward your legacy in my own way. Allie Sims Franklin, LICSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and aI guess the most powerful part of legacy work is that it grief management specialist, and the big sister of Austin Sims. She is theanswers my big concern…the worry that my loved ones are author of Am I Still A Sister? and a contributing author in Dear ParentsLOST. I often hear people talk about losing loved ones. And and The Dying and Bereaved Teenager. She co-authored A Place For Me:my fear that day was about losing them, that my amazing A Healing Journey for Grieving Kids, Footsteps Through Grief, The Othermemories will somehow fade and that I will be the sole Side of Grief and Finding Your Way Through Grief with her mother,person to remember their contributions. When I am doing Darcie D. Sims. Allie is currently serving as the President of the Board ofthings to carry forward their legacy, I believe that I can toss Directors for TCF and is the Executive Director of the non-profit crisisout the word “lost” from my worry bag. lifeline, Crisis Clinic, in Seattle, WA.I know now that we do not lose the people we love. Theydie, but the love we shared LIVES ON. We loved them, theyloved us, love is NEVER LOST. I often feel lost without mybrother and mother, but my mother had a very powerful We Need Not Walk Alone|2 7

Worldwide Candle Lighting The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles fo sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and grandchildren who left too soon. As candles are lit at 7:00 pm local time, hundreds honor the memory of all children gone too soon. Join us on December 9, 2018 for the 22nd Annual Worldwide Candle Lig Grand Rapids Chapter Orlando Chapter TCF of the Ohio River ValleyTCF of NE Louisiana Atlanta Chapter2 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

or one hour to honor the memories of the of thousands of persons commemorate andghting. TCF of Humacao TCF of The WoodlandsTCF of Johnson County TCF Frederick MD Chapter Danville/Boyle County Chapter ... that their light may always shine. We Need Not Walk Alone|2 9

© Freelancer/ stock.adobe.com Music Strikes a Chord by Gloria Jordan of jitterbugging dancers entertained us, which prompted thoughts of Carson and his partner jitterbugging in front of On May 1, Carson’s heavenly 26th birthday, I attended my their 5th grade choir-mates. grand-niece’s elementary school vocal concert. Small town, small school. The concert opened with the entire K-6 school I blotted the tears with a rumpled tissue mined from the body (all 120 of them) walking in while exuberantly singing bottom of a coat pocket. I put away the tissue and stored the with choreographed arm motion. remaining tears for another day–maybe for an episode of Dancing With the Stars, as I fondly reminisce and think of All of a sudden, tears started welling. Oh geez! I didn’t want my son, now dancing with the stars. to be the grand-aunt sitting in the bleachers, wiping tears away. Where did these tears come from, I wondered. No Gloria Jordan with her husband, John, joined the Minneapolis, MN TCF conscious thoughts of Carson were going through my head Chapter soon after their son, and only child, died. Carson was 14-years-old at the time. After all, it’s been over 10 years since he died when he died by suicide in 2006. Gloria honors Carson by being active in (insert wry smiley face emoji here). their chapter, serving as newsletter editor for almost ten years, and recently becoming co-leader. She found it very rewarding to participate in the 2011 Maybe I got caught up in the stirring sound of the children’s National Conference as co-chair for the silent auction and raffle. Creating sweet voices. Then I couldn’t help but think back to Carson’s the Shining Stars conference quilt remains a highlight of her conference vocal concert career (mixed in with one short stint playing participation. viola in 6th grade orchestra). More tears trickled. More memories spilled out. A couple songs later, a few pairs 3 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Circle How do you bear it all? The cry came from a motherWhose son had died only weeks before. We were in a circle, looking at her, Looking around, looking away, Tears in our hearts, in our eyes. How do we bear it? I don’t know, But the circle helps.© gstockstudio/ stock.adobe.com © Jeka84/fotolia.com by Eva Lager, TCF/Western AustraliaWelcome New TCF Chapters: #2518 TCF of Cambria ~ Cambria, CA Chartered ~ April 18, 2018#2511 TCF of Martha’s Vineyard ~ Vineyard Haven, MA Chartered ~ November 10, 2017 #2519 TCF of Chatham, NJ ~ Montclair, NJ Chartered ~ April 19, 2018#2512 TCF of Valley View ~ Germantown, OH Chartered ~ November 13, 2017 #2520 TCF of NW Oklahoma ~ Woodward, OK Chartered ~ April 23, 2018#2513 TCF of the Berkshires ~ Sheffield, MA Chartered ~ November 21, 2017 Welcome Newly Reorganized TCF Chapters:#2514 TCF of Winona, MN ~ Winona, MN Chartered ~ January 8, 2018 #2299 TCF of Linton, Indiana ~ Linton, IN Reorganized ~ December 5, 2017#2515 TCF of Monrovia ~ Monrovia, CA Chartered ~ January 30, 2018#2516 TCF of Klamath Basin ~ Klamath Falls, OR Chartered ~ February 14, 2018#2517 TCF of Morgantown ~ Lake Lynn, PA Chartered ~ April 5, 2018Our thanks to the following Chapters for their generosity (Gifts received between September 16, 2017 - January 31, 2018)Circle of Support ($200-$499)#1303 Pomona-San Gabriel Valleyin memory of all their children, grandchildren, and siblings gone toosoonCircle of Friends ($50 - $199)#1508 Shoreline Chapterin memory of their children, grandchildren, and siblings#1846 TCF of Babylonin memory of their children, grandchildren, and siblings We Need Not Walk Alone|3 1

With sincere gratitude and deep appreciation, we acknowledge the ©Arndt Vladimir/fotolia.comgenerosity of the following individuals and organizations for their gifts to The Compassionate Friends. Your commitment and support are essential to fulfilling our mission. The following patron donations were received between September 16, 2017 - January 31, 2018.3 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Simon Stephens Founder’s Circle of Caring ($500-$999) Circle of Support ($200-$499) Gina FriedenCircle ($10,000 +) Sally Friedman Sharon and John Ahnert Erin Adams in memory of Manfred BassGloria and Phil Horsley in memory of John F. Ahnert in memory of Victoria Winchester Fred Fruehanin memory of Scott Preston Horsley Joyce and Basil Andrews Anonymous Donor in memory of Fred and Beck FruehanDeborah Minor in memory of Rhonda Andrews in memory of Blake Andrew Gawley Dorene Goryebin memory of Mackie Minor Anonymous Donor Anonymous Donor in memory of Gregg T. Goryeb in memory of Jason Glickman in support of Esther Stillman Sherry HabaThe President’s Circle ($5,000- Anonymous Donor through Schwab Toni and James Ballard in memory of Steven Haba$9,999) Charitable in memory of Nicholas David Ballard Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Haemmerle Marion Bass James Belanic in memory of Janice HaemmerleAnna Cabeca in memory of Glenn Bass in memory of Katie Belanic Krumanaker and Stephen Danielin memory of Garrett Bivens Michelle Brannick Deborah Boiardi HaemmerleEstate of Wilbert Schmidt in memory of Yeats Brannick in memory of Mario St. George Boiardi Bonnie and Thomas Hammettin memory of Wilbert Smith and Donors from the CFC National Mr. and Mrs. Mario Boiardi in memory of Tiffanie Amber CollinsFredrick Alexander Schmidt Capital Area in memory of Mario St. George Boiardi Teri HansenKarl Snepp Jan and Jim Clark Robert Bourne in memory of Anna Paulsonin memory of Dave Snepp and in in memory of Andrew Clark and in memory of Robert Irl Bourne, III Edie and Pete Happesupport of Karen Snepp’s Facebook Hunter Froehlich (Bobby) in memory of Roberta Louise Happefundraiser Carol and Scott Davis Heidi Brandon Jeffrey Hersh in memory of Keith in support of Karen Snepp’s Facebook in memory of Ryan Christopher HershCircle of Love ($2,500-$4,999) Michele and Mark Fracasso fundraiser Janice and Harry Hess in memory of Mark R. Fracasso, Jr. Ross Bryan in memory of Amy Gwynn and JessicaDonors from America’s Best Local Sara and John Franco in memory of Becky Gleason and Paul Lynn HessCharities in memory of Debbie Franco Soderstrom Timothy HesterKitty Edler Peggy and David Gibson Dee and Richard Cervi in memory of Tim B. Hester, Jrin memory of Mark Edler, Rich Edler, in memory of Paige Gibson in memory of Kimberly Ann Moret Heidi Horsleyand Roxanne Moore Carla, Stacey, and Alecia Glaus Janet Chambers in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Tyler Joseph Glaus CoBank FundraiserCircle of Hope ($1,000-$2,499) Kevin Hales in honor of Tom Lindfors Francine Huang in memory of Erin Kate Whatley Linda and Mike Commuso Desiree and Joseph IrbyDianne and Richard Ammons Barbara Halverson in memory of Zachary Commuso in memory of William James Irbyin memory of Anne in memory of Mike Halverson M. Susan Conley Charlotte and Robert IrickJean and Richard Dew Peggi and Jeff Johnson in memory of Brian William Conley in memory of Margaret, Joseph andin memory of Bradley Morris Dew in memory of Jordan McLeod Johnson Lois and Jay Copeland JeffreyJoanna and Brian Donohue Marie Levine in memory of David Michael Copeland Robin Jensin memory of John Timothy Donohue in memory of Peter Adam Levine Char and Mike Coulter in memory of Ty JensMark Gedlinske Janet and Joe Neal in memory of Colin Coulter Barbara and Mickey Johnsonin memory of Justin Lee Clayton, in memory of their son, Josh Maddie Crouthamel in memory of Sandy JohnsonRoxi Moore and in support of Debbie Kathleen Rettinger in memory of Thomas G. Crouthamel, Sandra JohnsonRambis’ and Terry Novy’s Facebook in memory of Alexander Rettinger Jr. and Annalise Crouthamel in memory of Mark JohnsonFundraisers Leslie Rolison Jill Cunniff Lisa and Christopher KelleyScott Gerba in memory of Delaney Leigh Rolison Timothy Dillon in memory of Jeremy Michael Kelleyin memory of Bob and Mary Blanchard John Santoro and Pamela Bennett- in memory of Ian Chirstopher Dillon Bob KirkNadezhda Kavrus-Hoffmann and Erik Santoro Donors from Amazonsmiles.com in memory of Allison KirkHoffmann in memory of Paula Rosina Santoro and Donors from Network for Good Deborah and Kenneth Knightin memory of Anders Hoffmann Roxi Moore Charlotte Drew in memory of Klara Morgan KnightRobin Hurdle Maria and Robert Shaffer in memory of Ella Sophia Hoelscher Irene Kostetskyin memory of Noah Samuel Grindstaff in memory of Kelsey Ficks Cathi and Mark Duffy and Family in memory of Daniel KostetskyCosta Marge Shapiro in memory of Frankie Hooker, Jr. Victoria and Michael LaneGay Kahler and Brian Janes in memory of Peter Adam Levine Debbie Dullabaun in memory of Brett Lanein memory of Laura Michelle Travis Christine Sorbara in support of Debbie Ford’s Birthday Stephen LaRockand in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of John James Sorbara Fundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Jared LaRockFundraiser Kari and Joe Stevens Friends/USA Jenny LawingJahanna and Thomas Knight in memory of Stetson McFarland David Edelstein in memory of Matt Lawingin memory of David P. Knight Bonnie and Richard Szczepaniak in memory of Brandon Edelstein Eleanor LemannMary and William Lim in memory of Bradley Scott Szczepaniak Dorothy and James Edler in memory of Genevieve June Lemannin memory of Avery Lim and Angela Dawn Szczepaniak Kendall in memory of Roxi Kushner Moore Leslie and Arthur LevineThe Meadows Family Lou, Scott, Tyler and Joe Tedrick Robbie and Frank Edwards in memory of Joshua Levinein memory of Christopher Meadows in memory of Bobby Brayer and Frank in memory of Grace Martino and Alex Lynn LonerganJamie Pumpelly Farina Williams in memory of Lonnie Dean Rice andin memory of Jamie Alexandra GiGi and Ric Trentman Jacquie Edwards-Mitchell Donnie Keith RiceGrimsley in memory of Cecilia Trentman in memory of Kareem Edwards-Mitchell David MacbethAmy and Bruce Ramsden Donors from TRUiST and Kevin Mitchell in support of Kay Dietrich Jones’sin memory of Tate Ramsden Oscar Urbina Liz and Daniel Einstein Facebook fundraiserPhyllis, Larry and Greg Rosenthal in memory of Ruben Urbina in memory of Andrew M. Einstein Julie and Ryan Mathyin memory of Scott Randie Walton Carol and George Faulk in memory of Kevin and Brian ZivilikDonna Schuurman in memory Michael Peter Walton in memory of John Elijah Faulk and James Matiain memory of Lynne Sandra Werner Colby Hewitt Faulk in memory of Paul MatiaLisbeth and Douglas Schwab in memory of Matthew Werner Janice and David Feagain memory of Lori Ann Schwab Donna and Larry Wittmayer in memory of Travis W. Feaga (continued on page 34)Peter Stanton Anne Forsythein memory of Reese Bowman in memory of Scott Wittmayer in memory of Kristin Partipilo We Need Not Walk Alone|3 3Pam Stephensonin memory of T. Michael StephensonBarbara Zinmanin memory of Alison Weingarten

(continued from page 33) Circle of Friends ($50-$199) Peggie L. Avila Helen and Presley Belcher in memory of Aaron Mario Avila in memory of Cally BelcherKaren Lally and Frank McCoy Paul Aasen Randall Bachman Martha Bellin memory of Brian Ackerman in memory of Erik and David Aasen in support of Cathy Seehuetter’s in memory of Damien Ashley BellSteve McMahan Maritza Abadia Facebook fundraiser Patrick Bellin memory of Shelby McMahan in memory of Melissa N. Tormos Abadia Randall Bachman in memory of Andy BellAndrea and John Meigs, Jr. Charlotte Addington in memory of Sarah Bachman Busch Nancy and Randall Bellin memory of Alexandra Nina Meigs in memory of Mary Shawn Addington Virginia Badillo in memory of MarcKathy and Steve Miller Donors from Aetna Foundation, Inc. in memory of Henry Anthony Badillo Andrea and Dennis Bensonin memory of Samuel Theodore Miller Benita Allen Carole Bailey in memory of Shane LewisCarina Miranda in memory of Roxi Moore in memory of Matthew John Bailey Suzanne Bentonin memory of James Disbrow Marci and Henry Allen Deanna and Chris Bailey in memory of Andrew MurphyKelley and John Molitor in memory of Patricia June Allen in memory of Solon Bailey and Liam Stacy, Tammy and Kelsey Berenguelin memory of Tyler Sharon and Jerry Allen Bailey in memory of Roxane MooreSusan Ohlson in memory of Lyn Marie Allen Renee and Earl Bailey Marianne and Charles Berryin memory of Augie Ohlson Melody Almond in memory of Melissa (Bailey) Wolfram in memory of Edward BerryLiz Parker in memory of Jacob Almond Edith Bailey Denny and Gary Berryin memory of Peter Adam Levine Brenda Ammerman in memory of Russell Baldwin in memory of Ben BerryJoAnn Phillips in memory of Brian Ammerman Carole Baird Joyce Berryin memory of James L. Vandewater, IV Nancy Amstad-Hito in memory of Justin Baird in memory of Scott Eric MillerDila Pjeternikaj in memory of Seth Martin Janis Baird Bethany Bertin memory of Michael Pjeternikaj Cathy Anderson in support of Cathy Seehuetter’s in support of Colleen’s fundraiser forCynthia Post in memory of Sterling Anderson Facebook fundraiser The Compassionate Friends/USAin memory of Roxane Moore Ellen Ensel and Fenwick Anderson Liana and Carlos Baldor Joyce BeynonNorma Rollinger in memory of Lowell Ensel in memory of AnaMaria Baldor-Bunn in memory of Roxane Moorein memory of Celeste Kinney Dawn and William Anderson Sue and Bob Ballenger Cheri BianchiniKaren and David Rosenthal in memory of Rachael Anderson in memory of Ben Ballenger in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesdayin memory of Rebekah Linda and Mike Angelo Dianne and Peter Ballesty Facebook fundraiserBeth Robins Roth in memory of Melanie Gehm in memory of Peter Kevin Ballesty Rebecca Billitsin memory of Leonor FayMarie Roth Anonymous Donor Gail and Robert Ballou in memory of Amy TaylorArlene and Robert Ruggiero in memory of Brock in memory of Michelle E. Ballou Jennifer Binsleyin memory of Brenda Joan Ruggiero Anonymous Donor Theresa and Henry Baranowski in support of Susan Payne’s FacebookSusan Sammons in memory of Debra Dahl in memory of Rebecca “Becky” fundraiserin memory of Jared Sammons Anonymous Donor Baranowski Jeanne and Jon BlackburnJennifer Schneider in memory of Jill Christine Erwin Elizabeth Barbera in memory of Wesley James Blackburnin memory of Jessica Grace Wing Anonymous Donor in memory of Jay Jimenez Kathryn BlackwellGeorgia and Hank Sheer in memory of Dylan Hill-Sagraves Judy and Dave Barkdoll in memory of KJ Pricein memory of Erin Sheer Anonymous Donor in memory of Dana Barkdoll Patricia BlockFrench Smith in memory of Kyle Lamos Brenda Barnes in memory of Javon Williams, Ericin support of Terry Novy’s Facebook Anonymous Donor in memory of Jon R. Barnes-Klarner Hunter and Darrell SmithFundraiser in memory of Ray Johnson, Jr. William J. Baron Katherine BloomRussell A. Smith, Sr. Anonymous Donor in memory of Thomas Ward Baron in memory of Kira Bloomin memory of Morgan Kristen Kuhaida in memory of Riley Johnson Stephen Barron Mona BlumsteinThe Story family Anonymous Donor in memory of Adam Barron in memory of Emma Blumsteinin memory of son and brother Lee R. in memory of Ryan McNeil Gail Bartley Mary O’Toole BobbittStory Anonymous Donors in memory of John David Stacy in support of Mary O’Toole Bobbitt’sNorita and Timothy Sullivan in memory of Roxanne Moore Sharon Bartley Giving Tuesday Facebook fundraiserin memory of Capt. Iwan T. Spolsky, Anonymous Donor in memory of Adrian Chong Lynn and Bob BoelkUSAF in memory of David Starr Pat Barwood in memory of Chris BoelkMichael Sylvina Charles Anstett in support of Karen Perri Sarli’s Giving Mary and Craig Bondain memory of Stacy Marie Sylvina in support of Jan’s fundraiser for Tuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Stephen HolmgrenConnell The Compassionate Friends/USA In Stacy and Greg Batz Linda BondraLyn Teven Memory of Erika in memory of Carly Batz in memory of Kirsten Brooke Bondrain memory of Roxi Moore Marge and Steve Anzalone BCD Travel USA Kathy BorckDeborah and Richard Warner in memory of Jenny Anzalone in memory of Brendan C. Flynn in memory of Tami Borckin memory of Joshua Warner Debbie and Jeff Appell Jackie and Robbin Beasley Robin BotieAnonymous Donor in memory of Dale Dullabaun, III in memory of Sean T. Cannon and in memory of Marika Joy Wardenin memory of Noah A. Warsaw Lisa and Tom Archie Jacqueline B. Killingsworth David BoudreauSherry and Stephen Weinstein in memory of Alex Archie Judy and Claude Beaudet in memory of Matthew Boudreauin memory of Sean Weinstein Stacy and Jim Arellano in memory of Ryan Beaudet Ester and Bob BoulangerJulia West in memory of Brian S. Arellano and Anonymous Donor in memory of George H. Silvain memory of Sophia Ann West Rick S. McFarlane in memory of Jason Bechtel Marty and Mike BourlandDeanna Wheeler Florence Arkans Kathleen Becker in memory of Steven Michael Bourlandin support of Deanna Wheeler’s in memory of Rick Arkans in memory of Patrick Cunningham and Beverly BoussonFacebook fundraiser Ruth and Glenn Armes Kevin Cunningham in memory of Whit RoushNancy and Ron White in memory of Steven Glenn Armes Mary Begley Diana and Bob Bowdenin memory of Keith White Terri and Bill Armstrong in memory of Stephen LaPyrne Patricia Bower CooleyThe Williams Family in memory of Mary Elizabeth Kristina Behler in memory of Noah Bower Cooleyin memory of Bernard Calvin Williams Armstrong in memory of Graham Dixon Jim BowieMargy and David Willis Cynthia and Martin Aubrey Renee Beisswanger in memory of Thomas and Daniel Popein memory of Kim Simione in memory of Griffin Lucas Aubrey in memory of David D. Rouse Susan Braddy Ellen Auerbach in memory of Rachel Marie Braddy3 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone in memory of Alison Auerbach and Amy Kahn

Linda Bradley Taylor Lisa Cabe Pauline A. Cleary Basil Sandy and Dick Cunhain memory of Linda Elaine Glenn in memory of Alex Cabe in memory of John Francis Cleary in memory of Brett ShaadNorma and Carl Braun Cecelia Cable Diana Clem Lois Curranin memory of Aimee Chii Hung Braun in memory of Barbara Cable in support of Karen Snepp’s Facebook in memory of Steven C. WagonerSheila and Leon Braunagel Carole Joyce Melia fundraiser Mr. and Mrs. John Dahmusin memory of Kirsten Braunagel in memory of Carole Joyce Melia Deb and Bruce Clements Maria DaileyMark Brauner Debbie and Charlie Camp in memory of Darcie Saint Clements in memory of Christopher G. Daileyin support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebook in memory of Charles “Joe” Camp Robin Coale Andrew D’Ambrosiofundraiser Jeffrey Campbell in memory of Anton Gress Martha and Joe D’AgostinoBreakfast Club Karen and John Campbell Sue and George Cobb in memory of Liz Schermerhornin memory of Allie Jana Ayers in memory of Michael Aaron Campbell in memory of Brent Cobb Vincent J. D’Andrea, Sr.Merlene Brew Ann and Pressley Campbell Mr. and Mrs. E.B. Coggins in memory of Vincent J. D’Andrea, Jr.in support of Beth’s Birthday Fundraiser Thomas Campbell in memory of Elizabeth Rose Coggins Vickie and Denny Danfordfor The Compassionate Friends/USA in memory of Josie Ann-Elise Lisa Cohen in memory of Brian DanfordHeidi Breyer Campdogs Group in memory of Shari Gelb Kathleen Dangeloin memory of Jon thourgh Judith Reed in memory of Andrew Cairo Lisa Gelin and Scott Cohen in memory of Christopher and MatthewWest’s Facebook fundraiser Janet and Julian Cannon in memory of Brett Cohen YottiDorothy and James Briggs in memory of Julie Evanne Cannon Margo Cohen Judy David and Doug Leavensin memory of Marcia Ann Briggs Joan Caplan in memory of Alex Cohen in memory of Andrew David LeavensCynthia and Leonard Broderick in memory of Jessica Miriam Weizer David Collins Angela and John Dazzoin memory of Jamie Jo Broderick and Eric Paul Weizer in memory of Tiffanie Amber Collins in memory of Stephanie Dazzo PaterekFernandez Deborah Carlson Eileen and Raymond Collins Sandi and Bill de St. AubinMike Brooks in memory of Andy Carlson in memory of Gavin R. Collins in memory of Timmy de St. Aubinin support of The Compassionate Louis Carosa Kathy and Chuck Collins Brenda DeakFriends/USA in memory of Kevin G. Carosa in memory of Tiffanie Amber Collins in memory of Christopher DeakPaul Brooks Marlene and Frank Carson Frances M. Colyer Denise Deanin memory of David Brooks in memory of Glen Carson in memory of David John Testo in memory of Sean Daniel ConnellyWendy Brooks Michael Carson Mary E. Comly Eleanor DeFalcoin memory of Jennifer Lynne Brooks in support of Elle’s Birthday Fundraiser Debbie and Dan Comparet in support of Karen Perri Sarli’s GivingAdrienne and Arnold Brookstone for The Compassionate Friends/USA in memory of Drew Comparet Tuesday Facebook fundraiserin memory of Gordie Brookstone Karen Casper Patricia and Lawrence Connell Edgar Del CastilloCatherine Brown in memory of David John Casper in memory of Matthew and Molly in memory of Edgar Mario Del Castilloin memory of Roxane Kushner Moore Suzanne Cassel Connell Neal DeLaurentisMary Jo and James Brown in memory of Greg Cassel Jane Copeland in support of Vivian Suzy’s Facebookin memory of Glenn Brown Jim Casten in memory of Kate Copeland fundraiserSusan and James Brown in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Eleanor Cordeiro Mary DeLeonardisin memory of Andrew Adams Brown Facebook fundraiser in memory of Jared R. Cordeiro in memory of Ella DownsLinda Brown Minda Chamberlain Edward Corpus Cheryl DeLongin memory of Brad Wildasin Susan Chan in memory of Jason Jitendra Park in memory of Kyle MooreRichard Brown in support of Debbie Rambis’ Birthday America Coronado Cheryl DeLongin memory of Elizabeth Brown Fundraiser in memory of Stephanie G. Burwinkel in honor of Eric MooreInara Brubaker Susan and Gary Chan Patricia and Salvatore Corrao Denise DeMossin memory of Erika Jane and Andra in memory of Rachael Reneé Chan Coryell Community Church in memory of Dustin DeMossElaine Brubaker Rekha Chandra in memory of William Ogden Bruce DenenbergAnne and Jeff Brubaker in memory of Nayan Chandra Anne Coyle in support of Janis’s Birthday Fundraiserin memory of Adam Joshua Brubaker Lynette D. Charity, MD in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday for The Compassionate Friends/USAJoanne Buckalew in memory of Beverly Joanne Charity Facebook fundraiser Debra Dermackin memory of Stacy Buckalew Ingrid Chartrand Susan and Cameron Craig in memory of Melissa DittaVicki and Jay Bullaro in memory of Sonya Chartrand in memory of LeeAnn Lamb Rosemary and John DeRosain memory of Craig Bullaro Barbara and Eric Chazen Cindy Redden Cranfield in memory of Robert John DeRosaGisa Bullwinkel in memory of Geoffrey David Chazen, in memory of Jared Redden Judy and Walter DeverFaye and Jim Bundy MD Carol and Les Cristini in memory of Josh Dever and Johnin memory of David J. Bundy Anna and Ren Cherven in memory of Michael Cristini StrasserMary Ellen Burger in memory of Philip M. Cherven Thomas Crogan Sandra and Jon Devermannin memory of Justin Berger Anonymous Donor in memory of Jennifer A. Spencer in memory of Matthew Roy AshcraftNancy Burkhardt in memory of Philip Panetta Margaret and John Cross Georgene Dexheimmerin memory of Derek S. Burkhardt Bernadette Chrismer in memory of Colleen Fay Cross in memory of Michael DexheimmerLaura Burnham in memory of Carolyn Marie Chrismer Beverly Crowley Jill and Ed DeYoungin memory of Darryl Anne Burnham Larry Christensen in support of Melissa Crowley’s in memory of Stephen Ronald FavaJulia Burns in memory of Andy and Cameron Facebook fundraiser Rudy Di Giosaffattein memory of Sean Paul Burns Christensen Kathy and Tom Crowley in memory of William Di GiosaffatteThe Burrous Family Barbara Christoff in memory of Timmy Crowley Susan and Brian Diamondin memory of Andrew Burrous in memory of Brian Michael Christoff Monica Csorny in memory of Myles C. DiamondPatricia Burrow Christine Cianciolo in memory of Lauren Marie Csorny Barbara Dimmickin memory of Allen Lee Croix in memory of Bill Richards CT River Candles in memory of Christopher DimmickJanine Busch Woytowicz Carol Cibulskis Resonate Foundation Brigid and Jeff DiPaoloin memory of Benjamin Matthew Busch in memory of Janet Marie Cibulskis in support of Michael and Ann Hall in memory of Clairee Beth DiPaoloAnna Butler David Clayton Deborah Cummens Denise and Allen Dittrichin support of Leanna’s fundraiser for in memory of Zach Clayton in memory of Jon Hunter Cummens in memory of Andrew CairoThe Compassionate Friends/USA Lynn and Jerry Clayton Carol CummingsJune and Ronald Byrd in memory of Justin Lee Clayton in memory of Baby Dante (continued on page 36)in memory of Erika Byrd Mary Cummings We Need Not Walk Alone|3 5

(continued from page 35) Exelon Foundation Matching Gift William J. Fry Robin and Bobby Grubbs in support of Tomalyn Bailey in memory of Christopher Read Fry in memory of Robby GrubbsJennifer Dixon Mr. and Mrs. Agostino Fabietti Stephanie Fuller Cathleen Grzanichin support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Thomas Fabietti in memory of Robin Nicole Troupe in memory of Claire Therese GrzanichFacebook fundraiser Gayle Fahrbach Paula and Larry Funk Marianne GuerraEleanor and Ken Donatelli in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Anna Lynn Funk in honor of Esther Stillman’s 70thin memory of Michael J. Donatelli Facebook fundraiser Dawn Gadd birthdayVicky and Gerald Donegan Kay and Frank Failla in memory of Jesse Thomas Gadd Muriel Gunawardanain memory of Clinton W. Donegan in memory of Emily and Lauren Failla Jan Gage in memory of Desmond GunawardanaDonors from Independent Charities Jim Fallon in support of Beth’s Birthday Fundraiser Joe Gutsickof America in memory of Jon thourgh Judith Reed for The Compassionate Friends/USA in support of Susan Payne’s FacebookMandy Dorfman West’s Facebook fundraiser Mary and John Gahagan fundraiserin memory of Ryan Dorfman Carol and Michael Farina in memory of Sean Gahagan Teresa GutsickKathleen Dougherty in memory of Vincent K. Farina Kym and Richard Gaissl in support of Susan Payne’s Facebookin memory of Vincent Gavriel and Constance Farkas in memory of Jason R. Arcaro fundraiserAndrew Tyler Rivera in memory of Dr. Jeffrey Farkas Ronald Gallacher Rima HageKeith Drake Marcy and Bob Feagin in memory of Miss Lily in support of Debbie’s Birthdayin support of Debbie Ramibs’s Birthday Mary and Gary Federwitz Paul Gallaugher Fundraiser for The CompassionateFundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Adam Federwitz in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Friends/USAFriends/USA Sharon Felder-St. Clair Facebook fundraiser Cary HagenLinda and Steve Dressler in memory of Michael St. Clair, Jr Debbie Galleher in memory of Hagen Jeffrery Jamesin memory of Jessica Lauren Dressler Janet and Jim Felton in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Marlene HaldenVicki Druchniak Beth Ferguson Facebook fundraiser in memory of Peter C.F. Haldenin memory of Jeffrey Druchniak in support of Vivian Suzy’s Facebook Brenda and Casimiro Garcia Ann and Mike HallBarbara Drysdale fundraiser in memory of Johnny Garcia in memory of Kyle Davis SimonsonPatricia and Robert Duchin Cheryl Fetzer Claudia Garcia Laurel and David Hallettin memory of Robyn Duchin Ruth in memory of Corey Fetzer in memory of Erik Gonzalez in memory of Andrew HallettSuzanne and Stephen Duhamel Dianne Fichter Heidi Gendusa Robin Hamakerin memory of Danielle Duhamel in memory of Michael Justin Hoggard in memory of Edward Gendusa in support of Jacquelyn’s BirthdayMichael Duncan Caroline Kelly Figenshu Rosemary Geraghty Fundraiser for The Compassionatein memory of Jon Ashley Duncan and in memory of Donna, Laura and Paula in support of Kay Dietrich Jones’s Friends/USAJamison Michael Duncan Kelly Facebook fundraiser Debbie and Phil HammelSusie Duncan Allison and Mark Finkelstein Martha and William Gibson in memory of Jeremy Philip Hammelin memory of Randi Marie Black in memory of David Samuel Finkelstein in memory of William Campbell Janet and Frank HanigClemence and Paul Dupont Fionta Incorporated Gibson, III in memory of Adam Hanigin memory of Christopher and Matthew in support of Peggy Trant and in Dr. Merrill and Norie Gildersleeve Barbara and Michael HanleyYotti memory of her son Ryan M. Trant in memory of George in memory of Michael J. HanleyMary Alice Dyal Sharon Fischer Mary and Lon Gilger Lola and Jack Hannain memory of Lorraine Dyal in memory of Jodi L. Fischer and Jeffrey in memory of David Rouse in memory of Stephen HannaPat and Jeff Dyson T. Fischer Paula Gilligan Ruthie and Kent Hanneganin memory of Blake Jefferson Dyson Yolanda Fishkin in memory of Ryan James Gilligan in memory of John HanneganDonna and Ralph Eastman in memory of Sammy Fishkin Dr. Michael Giuliano Kyle Hansonin memory of Ralph Michael Eastman John Flaherty Mary Goetz in memory of Chandie HansonTamara Eberlein in memory of Helen and Bridgette L. in memory of Howie Goetz, III Mildred and John Harderin memory of 1Lt James A. Garvey Flaherty Glady Goicoechea in memory of Kristin Alana HarderJudith and John Ebert Kristine Flannery in memory of “Tista” Goicoechea Marie and Rod Harleyin memory of Christine Ebert and her in memory of Patrick Flannery Rita Goldfarb in memory of Corrie D. Harleyunborn son Penny and Manny Flecker in memory of Jeff Hawes Jennifer HarrisPenny Ecord in memory of 1LT Norman T.S. Flecker Noreen Gomez in memory of Tanner Allen Harrisin memory of Robert Knapp Jeannine Florance in memory of Laura and Katie Holtz Marilyn and Ron HarrisJulie and Bill Edgar in memory of Julian Gray-Florance Rebecca Gonhue in memory of Philip Harrisin memory of Michael Edgar Janet Flores Sherwood in memory of Blake Gonhue Claire HarrisonJulie Edmiston in memory of Scott J. Sherwood Alice Gorczycki in memory of Michael Raymondin memory of Rachel Edmiston DonnaJean Flynn in memory of Connor Glen Walsh HarrisonColleen Ehret in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Judy Gorham Mary Beth Harterin memory of Brandt M. Koehler Facebook fundraiser in memory of Darrell Gorham in support of Jacquelyn’s BirthdayKathy and Dennis Einck Elise Folk George Govatos Fundraiser for The Compassionatein memory of Brad, Brenda and Brian in memory of Ilana Joy Folk Pamela and David Graham Friends/USAEinck Nancy and Doug Fortier in memory of Evan Lloyd Graham Cynthia HarvathThomas L. Emery in memory of Jeffrey Fortier Linda Reynolds Gravley in memory of Tinisha Cherese Mottin memory of Thomas J. Emery Claire Fox-Subin in memory of Geoffrey E. Reynolds The Hassen FamilyWilliam Ermatinger in memory of Bill Fox Billie J. Gray in memory of Roxane Moorein memory of Kathy Ermatinger Brody Frailey in memory of Timothy C. Gray Sandra and Ken HassigDonna and Carmine Esposito in memory of Tony Rambis Orchid and Richard Griffin in memory of Julie Victoria Hassigin memory Carmine M. Esposito, III Chareatha Franklin and Dwight in memory of Thomas Richard Griffin Rhonda and Shawn HawkinsPatsy and Geno Essenmacher Patton Vera Grishin in memory of Dalton Hawkinsin memory of Megan Suzanne in memory of Andrew J. Patton in memory of Jessica Kossin Colleen HayesEssenmacher Averil Fraser Pam Grove in memory of MeganArt Estrella in memory of Errol Fraser, Jr in memory of Helen Michelle Grove Helen Hayesin memory of Brian Estrella Consorcia Friend Adele Grubbs in support of Karen Snepp’s FacebookPhyllis Eubanks in memory of Jon Romulo in memory of Alexis Grubbs fundraiserin memory of LeeAnn Lamb3 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Lukas Haynes Martha and Ralph Hubbard Rhonda Joyner Ellen and Tom Komadinain memory of Ana Lucia “Lulu” Haynes in memory of Cory Larson Hubbard in memory of Jared Case Joyner in memory of Ann Michelle KomadinaBeverly Hecht Pamela Hubbard Nancy Juracka Leanne Konawalikin memory of Laura E. Hecht in memory of James Ike Hubbard in memory of Lance John Juracka and in memory of Ryne Matthew KonawalikTrent Heck Amy Hubert in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Linda and Michael Kosovecin memory of Luke Heck in support of Debbie Rambis’s Giving Facebook Fundraiser in memory of Lauren Ann KosovecVictoria Heilweil Tuesday Facebook fundraiser Sharon Juris Debra Kozsdiyin memory of Neil C. Heilweil Barbara Humbert in memory of Amy Marie Juris in memory of Aileen KozsdiyTim Heidenberg in memory of Sean Christopher Gay Kahler Daniel Krallin memory of Michaelangelo A. McDonald in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Peter Joseph KrallHeidenberg Dianna and Reginald Hunt Facebook Fundraiser Susan and Harvey KraussMary and Barry Heiman in memory of Steven Rahn Jan Kameros in memory of Mitchell Scott Kraussin memory of Alexis Heiman Katherine Hunt in memory of Cathy Bradway Marg and James KuchenreutherGary Helfman in memory of David A. Hunt Robert Kaplan in memory of David M. Kuchenreutherin memory of Ryan Helfman Beth Husband in memory of Alison Ruth Kaplan Mrs. William KuehnRicia Hendrick in honor of Michelle Smith Beth and Dana Kapp in memory of Timothy A. Kuehnin memory of Lisa Kay Mackinnon Rick Hushon in memory of Kevin J. Kapp Kathryn, Adrienne, and Mark KurtzDavid Hendricks in memory of David Knox Anne Kardasz in memory of Michael Benjamin Kurtzin memory of David B. Hendricks, II Jared Husmann in memory of Mark Andrew Kardasz Connie and Bill LackeyDelores Hensley in memory of Joey Gibbs Mr. and Mrs. Clifford Kasden in memory of Adam N. Lackeyin memory of Nichole Lee Hensley Katherine Hutchinson in memory of Neill Perri Melissa Lackman(Boogie) in memory of Robert M. Hutchinson Joel Kaufman in support of Debbie’s BirthdayJoby Ann and John Herman Martha Hutchinson in memory of Joshua Wald Fundraiser for The Compassionatein memory of Luke Herman in memory of Vernon Hutchinson Phyllis and Len Kedson Friends/USAKaren Herman Theresa Iervolino in memory of Jeff Kedson Jan Lacyin memory of Timothy Richard Herman in memory of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Jereme Kelley in memory Joe Don LacyRoberta and Keith Herman Facebook Fundraiser in memory of Matt Thorne Kerri and Tony Lairdin memory of Robert Herman Deb and Russ Imlay Sharon Kelly in memory of Briana J. SpringmanHenry Heuer in memory of Seth Michael Imlay in memory of Katelyn Nicole Jones Patrice and Bernie LaLondein support of Janis’s Birthday Fundraiser Judy Immel Ian Kennedy in memory of Ryon LaLondefor The Compassionate Friends/USA in memory of Dave Immel in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Donna and Tom LancasterSunday and Robert Hicks Joan Ireland Facebook fundraiser in memory of Shane Lancasterin memory of Robert Dean Hicks, Jr. in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Kathy Kerdus Robin and Michael LandryAdele Higgins Facebook fundraiser in memory of Erin Elizabeth Dickman in memory of Emily Anne Landryin memory of Brian Buckton Jean and Jerry Irving Susan and Richard Kerkering Judith LangeKathy Higgins in memory of Kara Lynne Irving in memory of Drew Kerkering in memory of Daniel Wm. Langein support of Cathy Seehuetter’s Margaret Isaminger Virginia Kessinger Terry LangeFacebook fundraiser in memory of Thomas Melvin Isaminger in memory of Clint Kessinger in memory of Scott LangeKathy Higgins Carole Iseli Kathy and Joe Kessler Julie Larsonin support of Deanna Wheeler’s in memory of Lance Malone in memory of Joseph Matthew Kessler in memory of Gregory Shawn LarsonFacebook fundraiser Lynn and Robert Jacobs Ann Khadalia Kay Turley and Roger LavalleeKit Hill in memory of Brenda M. Jacobs in memory of Priya Khadalia in memory of Paige Mackenzie Johnsonin memory of Amy Ballentine Becky Jaconetti Carole L. Kies Julie and Paul LawrenceLisa Hills in memory of Brandon John Lloyd in memory of Ian and Daniel Kies in memory of Aaron R. Lawrencein memory of Joseph John Harper Carla Jaeger Cynthia Kimball Sherrie LayHarriet and John Hodgson in support of Debbie Rambis’s Giving in memory of Wayne Gordy in support of The Compassionatein memory of Helen Hodgson Welby Tuesday Facebook fundraiser Donald King Friends/USAJoan and Dale Hofmeister Elizabeth and Michael Jarrett Joan and Michael Kirchmer Kristin and Arnold Leein memory of Dennis M. Hofmeister in memory of Michael Jarrett, Jr. in memory of Jennifer Kirchmer Young in memory of Scott LeeWendy Hogan Susan and Jack Jerovsek Joan and Steve Kisska Ellen Leein memory of Madelyn Alice Hogan in memory of Robert Jack Jerovsek in memory of Kevin Joseph Kisska in memory of Stephen F. LeePaula and Mike Holder Dana Johnson Susan Schwartz Kleiman Paula Leein memory of Andrew (Drew) M. in memory of Larry Johnson in support of Janis’s Birthday Fundraiser in memory of T.J. Allen Sterling, CTHolder, Jr. Donald Johnson for The Compassionate Friends/USA Roberta LehrmanSharon Holeman in memory of Donald Jeffrey Johnson Pamela Klein and Byron Capito in memory of Matthew Lehrmanin memory of Monica Kathy Johnson in memory of Bobby Klein and Eric Ginny and Gary LensingKelly and Dave Hollister in support of Cathy Seehuetter’s Alexander in memory of Hannah Rose Lensingin memory of Leighton Williams Facebook fundraiser Barb and Bob Klika Irving LeonLynda Holman Kimberly Johnson in memory of Molly Klika Zarnoth Pam and Bob Leskoin memory of Richard Holman in memory of Nathaniel Jacob Johnson Carole and Joseph Klug in memory of Stefanie M. LeskoKaren and Mike Horeth Michele and Steve Johnson in memory of Joshua Klug Phil Levatoin memory of Jordan Horeth in memory of Lindsay Marie Johnson Anonymous Donor in memory of Phillip “Philly” LevatoDiane and Kurt Horning Susan and David Jones in memory of Brad Knetl Loyola Leveroniin memory of Matthew Douglas in memory of Eric Allen Jones Richard Knight in memory of Madeleine Heather BoligHorning Carolyn and Paul Jones in memory of Hollie Marie Knight Faye LevineMartha and Russ Horton in memory of Daniel Jones Mary and Mike Knipper in memory of Marc David Levinein memory of Martha Lyn Dell and Rachel Jones in memory of Andrew Knipper Leanna LeyesEdward Lee Horton in memory of Ryan Christopher Jones Betty Koczan in support of Leanna Leyes’s FacebookRusty Howard Joanne Joyner, Gray Meridith and in support Debbie Rambis’ Giving fundraiserin support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday David Meridith Tuesday Facebook Fundraiser Susan and Robert LevyFacebook fundraiser in memory of Christopher Meridith Charles Kolb in memory of Chandra Levy in memory of Shirley and Chris Kolb (continued on page 38) We Need Not Walk Alone|3 7

(continued from page 37) Jan Manning Susan and Jeff McGranahan Anita Morgan in memory of Scott C. Manning in support of Maggie’s BirthdayChris Librie Dave Manser in memory of Ian Alexander Fundraiser for The Compassionatein support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in support of Katherine Bloom McGranahan Friends/USAFacebook fundraiser Bonnie and Jarmo Mantyla Patricia McGuigan Sharon MorganCheryl Lichtenthal in memory of Alex Johannes Mantyla in memory of Joshua David Ostapowicz in support of Bonnie’s Birthdayin memory of Jared Lichtenthal Cameron Marantz Marian and Gib McIlvain Fundraiser for The CompassionateKristin Lindsey in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Ian McIlvain Friends/USAin memory of Ryan Adam Mustachio Facebook fundraiser Barbara and David McIntyre Elizabeth MoritzEllen Logan Melissa Marantz Mealy Memorial Rebecca McKanna Donna and David Morrellin support of Leanna Leyes’s Facebook Fund Erica and Caleb McKeel in memory of Matthew Morrell andfundraiser in memory of Melissa Marantz Nealy in memory of Murphy Foster McKeel Natalie SanchezBeck Logsdon-Dougherty Joan and Joel Marcus Jeff McKenna William Mountcastlein memory of Darin Scott Hart in memory of David Marcus in memory of Tracy McKenna in honor of Kathy and Patrick MaloneJohn Logue Eric Mareshie Cindy McKeon Patricia F. MuehlCricket Lohr in memory of Antumn Grace and in memory of Albert Gutierrez in memory of Katherine Muehlin memory of Tom and Tammy Lohr Lauren Elizabeth Mareshie Claude McKibben Kathleen MulvihillCindy Lombardi Julia Marie in memory of Corey A. McKibben in memory of Brian Mulvihillin support of Vivian’s fundraiser for The in memory of Tadd Mitchell Hogland Helen Terri and Bob McMahon Morgan MunozCompassionate Friends/USA Diane and Dominic Mark in memory of Meaghan McMahon in memory of Zach LarsonKelly Lonigan in memory of Alena Rose Mark Beverly and Mike McMurphy Vicky and Shane Murdockin memory of Aaron Osmont Geraldine and Sheldon Markel in memory of Robin Lynn McMurphy in memory of Bobby MurdockMichele Longo Eder in memory of Stephen I. Markel Timothy McMurtry Sue and Don Murphyin memory of John Sitzmann JoAnn Marlette in memory of Monica DuBoise in memory of Jessica Lee MurphyWendy and Richard Looker in memory of Andy Marlette Marcia McQueen Janis Murphyin memory of Wayne Robert Looker Mrs. Casey Marlin in memory of Trina Marie and Diana in support of Janis’s Birthday FundraiserJose Lopez in memory of Fallon Painter Marie McQueen for The Compassionate Friends/USAin memory of Kathy L. Lopez Veronica and George Marosi Carol Mead Margaret MurphyNora Luftman in memory of Kristine Ann Marosi in memory of Jeremy Mead and Robert in memory of Patrick William Troupin memory of Mackenzie Plick and in Rita and Paul Marth Mead Shay Murphyhonor of Colleen and Brian Plick in memory of Christopher Marth Kathleen Meagher in support of Janis’s Birthday FundraiserShirwil and Stephen Lukes Denise Horgan-Marullo Aida Melamed for The Compassionate Friends/USAin memory of McKinley Lukes in support of Lori Mambourg Horgan’s in memory of Steven Melamed Sherrie MurphyJudy Lund Facebook fundraiser Anne Mell in memory of Katie Lambin memory of Courtney Ann Moyer Lynn Marziale in memory of Nancy Bodenstein Sybil MurphyLorie Lundblad in memory of Luke M. Parlatore Maria Menotti Halis in memory of Andrew Murphyin memory of Brian Summerson Rhonda Massie in memory of Jason Richardson Denise and Art MurrDebbie Luthart-Fox in memory of David Andrew Lovi Rudy Mercado in memory of Matthew Evan Murrin memory of Billy Luthart Lucy and Jeff Masters in support of Julia West’s Giving Tina and Peter MurrayTeresa and Cory Lyman in honor of Henry Loring Masters Tuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Patrice Lekas, Kassiain memory of Matt Lyman Norma Mathieson Betty and Delbert Mercure Gallo-Smith and Paul MurrayEdward Lynn Sue Ann and David Mathieu in memory of Carrie Ann Mercure Kathy and Vincent Musticain memory of Maggie Lynn in memory of Felicity Abby Jane Debra Meyer in memory of Michael A. MusticaJayne MacKay Mathieu in memory of Brannigan Cottle Regina Myersin memory of Gracie MacKay Gary Matlock William Meyers in memory of Sevoy OgdenMichael Mackey in memory of Galen Matlock in memory of Isaac J. Meyers Anne Nadelin memory of Jessica Mary Anne Mattero Saif Mian in memory of Bathen AustinBrenda and Don MacLean in memory of Joseph Peter Mattero Mr. and Mrs. Mark Michaud Chandra NaylorCecilia and Bruce MacPherson Diane Maxwell in memory of James Hopkinson in support of Jacquelyn’s Birthdayin memory of Bruce R. MacPherson, II in memory of William Maxwell Jean Widman Miksch Fundraiser for The CompassionateLynn Macri Martha and Ralph Maxwell in support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebook Friends/USAin memory of Catherine Rose Macri Peggy McAloon fundraiser Betty NelsonJames Madden in support of Jacquie’s Birthday Jane and Dave Milam in memory of Mark Nelsonin memory of Andrew Michael Madden Facebook Fundraiser in memory of David Milam Judy and Bruce NelsonMontse Madden Susan McCall Donna and Steve Miley in memory of Brian Nelsonin memory of Tyler S. Madden in memory of Stephen Matthew Dingle in memory of Stephen A. Miley Elvina NesbittMarilyn Magnet Catherine McCoy Cyndy and Rich Millard in memory of Jeni Nesbitt Blakein memory of Jennifer in memory of James Andrew Caswell in memory of John Richard Millard, Jr. Deborah NeurothElaine Maheras Uncle Jim Stoops and Aunt Claire Rose and Bill Miller in memory of Joshua Erbin support of Bonnie’s Birthday McCoy in memory of Heather Richard NewmanFundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Amy Sturgill Lisa Hearron Miller Alice-Lynn and Richard NewmanFriends/USA Claire McCoy and Jim Stoops in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Arielle Lynn NewmanCheryl and Robert Mahoney in memory of Amy Sturgill Facebook fundraiser Pat Nigroin memory of Kelly Mari Mahoney and Cheryl McCue Constance Milne in memory of Joey Nigro, Jr.Kamil Borowski in support of Betty’s fundraiser for The Modern Woodmen Fraternal Sue and Frank NisenfeldJim Mahoney Compassionate Friends/USA Financial in memory of Andrew Nisenfeldin memory of Susan Mahoney Judy McDonald in support of Emma Merrifield Etta and Charles NissmanAimee Maltby in memory of Darren Kyle McDonald Gayle Montgomery in memory of Jeffrey Nissmanin support of Becky Barch’s Facebook Nancy McGehean in memory of Mandi Taylor Nelson Kendra Nittafundraiser in memory of Jennifer McGehean Judy Moore in memory of Natsuhiko SquiresDiane Maltby in memory of Karen Moore Haydenin memory of Scott Kane Maltby Edward Morawetz in memory of Chris Morawetz3 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Julie Nittler Mary Packo Lorraine Pisani Kirk Rehin support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebook in memory of Jon thourgh Judith Reed in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesdayfundraiser in support of The Compassionate West’s Facebook fundraiser Facebook fundraiserWilliam Nittler Friends/USA JoAnne and Don Pizzi Shelly and Mike Reissin support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebook Dolores and Robert Palmer in memory of Keith DeLollis in memory of David Pellegrinfundraiser in memory of James Robert Palmer Esteban Placencia Jo Anna ReynoldsNancy Noonan Cookie and Sal Parisi in support of Rae’s Birthday Fundraiser in memory of Claire DiPaoloin support of Sarah and Jack Gieseke in memory of Jennifer Marie Parisi for The Compassionate Friends/USA Christopher RiceJeanette Norden Diane I. Panke Paul Plumb in memory of Buff Wick and Buff Taylorin memory of Paige Gibson and Ryan in memory of John Richard Panke in support of Cathy Seehuetter’s Debra and Lee RichardsonWiseman Mitzi M. Parke Facebook fundraiser in memory of Brian RichardsonFredi and Ron Norris in memory of Allen Hugh Parke Amy Plunkett Sherrill Rigneyin memory of Alex Benjamin Norris Caroyln and L.W. Parson in memory of Andrea Krakora in memory of Michelle RigneyMadison Norwood in memory of Nathan Parson Lynn and Joseph Pokrifka Nancy Rikerin support of Bonnie’s Birthday Barbara Parsons Marie Polega Cheryl RindaFundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Robert David Parsons in memory of Emily Munson in memory of David C. BillFriends/USA Shirley Partee Kathy Polito Kathi RitchMary Jo Nowobilski in memory of Wendell Partee in memory of Brian Lee Polito in memory of Alannah Rose Ritchin memory of Michael Nowobilski, Jr. Mary A. Pattison Cynthia Ponder Efrain Noel Rivera RosadoElva and Theodore Nugent in memory of Larry Pattison in support of Debbie Ramibs’s Birthday in memory of Efrain N. “Jungo” Riverain honor of Manfred Bass Joy Patwardhan Fundraiser for The Compassionate SalvaEllen and Alan Nunes in memory of Shyam Patwardhan Friends/USA Rosemary and Roger Riversin memory of Tyson A. Nunes John Payne Pat and Peter Ponzi in memory of Gregory Scott RiversLois Nyman in support of Susan Payne’s Facebook in honor of Pam Bennett-Santoro Connie Robbinsin memory of Sharon and Larry Nyman fundraiser and John Santoro’s 40th wedding in memory of Jerry Timothy Robbins, IILudee Nyodun Susan Payne anniversary Gail Robertsin memory of Karl Nyodun in support of Susan Payne’s Facebook Sue and Ken Porizek in memory of Claire RobertsJohn O’Brien fundraiser in memory of Jeffrey M. Porizek Sherry Robertsin memory of Michael J. O’Brien Jennifer Pearce Carol Powell in memory of Ryan Spencer RobertsMaureen O’Brien in memory of Stephanie Kathryn Pearce in memory of Claire Elizabeth Powell Mary and Vic Robertsin memory of Caroline Field Daniel Pearson Lori Power in memory of Craig Roberts and JoshuaJeff O’Connor in memory of Justin Pearson in memory of Justin Kyle See Robertsin support of Bonnie’s Birthday Alan Pedersen Cheryl Pressly Nancy RobertsonFundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Angela Pressly George in support of TCF’s Giving TuesdayFriends/USA Facebook Fundraiser Tina and Gregory Pringle Facebook fundraiserMarianne and Bill O’Connor Vicki and Pellerito in memory of Scottie Sheets Carole Robinsonin memory of Kelly Ann O’Connor in memory of Annemarie Pellerito Shirley Pruitt in memory of Stacy Jo TagueHenry O’Donnell Kathy Pender in memory of Gary Pruitt Jane Robinsonin memory of John “J.P.” O’Donnell in memory of Michael Christine and Dennis Puricelli in memory of Richard DouglasSharon and Brian O’Malley Machelle and John Pepple in memory of Emilie Puricelli Robinson “Rick”in memory of Kevin O. O’Malley in memory of Cody S. Collin Charlotte Quaintance Katherine RodgersChristine Onufrak Shari Perago in memory of Ross Quaintance in memory of Jesse M. Rodgersin memory of Morgan Nicole Onufrak in support of Susan Payne’s Facebook Jim Quinn Marina RodriguezEugene Onwunaka fundraiser in support of Bonnie’s Birthday in memory of Daniel Colein memory of Chinweuba Onwunaka Sara Perkins Fundraiser for The Compassionate Dennis RoelkePatricia Oppenheim in memory of Peter M. Perkins Friends/USA in memory of Mike and Andy Roelkein memory of Elena Lydia Hovander Terasa Perkins Mary and John Quinn Wilma RojasDoris O’Reilly-Dillon in support of Elle’s Birthday Fundraiser in memory of Matthew Quinn in memory of Luke Rojas and Royin memory of Heather K. Dillon for The Compassionate Friends/USA Nancy Quinn DartingMary O’Riordan Maureen Perlette in memory of Jimmy Winikates Mr. and Mrs. Paul M. Rosenbergin memory of Michael O’Riordan in memory of Jill Perlette Susan Quinn in memory of Alan L. RosebergKaren O’Rourke Marie Perri in memory of Daniel Stephen Quinn Kathleen Rosenthalin memory of Carrie Scott Ortiz in support of Karen Perri Sarli’s Giving Debbie and Skip Radler in memory of Matthew Rosenthal,Norma Osburn Tuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Patrick Radler Jennifer Pinti and Alec Pizziin support of Geri Lee-Ann Whelen Barbara and Steve Perrin Doreen and Patrick Raftery Barbara and Dave RosnerGiving Tuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Eric in memory of Coleen M. Raftery in memory of David R. RosnerSylvia and Cliff Ossorio Olga Perry Cindy Raieta Bernice Rossin memory of Trinka Micol Baggetta in memory of Walter H.Chattman, Jr. in support of Colleen Sullivan’s in memory of Peter RossBetty and Merlin Oswald Maj. W. Peters, USMC Facebook fundraiser Joyce Rossin memory of Tessie Jo Oswald Harris in memory of Scott Peters Andy Rambis in memory of Michael RossOutpatients, Erith and District Shirley and Leonard Peters in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Lauren RossiHospital, Park Crescent in memory of Mari Peters Prill Facebook fundraiser in memory of Michael Vincent Sagein support of The Compassionate Barba Peterson Andy Rambis Ian T. RowanFriends in memory of Eric Garsow in support of Debbie Rambis Fundraiser in support of Julia West’s GivingMary Anne Owens Lisa and Dan Peterson for The Compassionate Friends/USA Tuesday Facebook fundraiserin memory of Mary Kay Owens and in memory of Daniel John Ramirez Elisabeth Reed Terry Rucinskiher dad Valgene Phillips in memory of Kevin Michael Reed in support of Lori Mambourg Horgan’sCaron Pace in memory of Thomas M. Phillips Carole Reese Facebook fundraiserin memory of Paul J. Pace, III and Mars Chris Pikula in memory of Tanie TrepanierF. Sanchez-Miranda in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Kathleen and Tom Regan (continued on page 40 Facebook fundraiser in memory of Brian Regan Judy Pinsonnault and Bob Pablo We Need Not Walk Alone|3 9 in memory of Jason Baumes

(continued from page 39) Janet and Fred Schutzman Walter Simpson Debra and Donald Stone in memory of Julie Freidberg in memory of Ginny Simpson in memory of Brad FieldsCarol Rudacille Patty and David Schwartz Allie Sims Franklin D. Stone Davis in memory of Andrew J. Schwartz in memory of Austin, Tony and Darcie in memory of Amy Malone Davisin memory of Matthew MacRae Elizabeth Schwartz Sims Gayle StottRudacille in memory of James Gordon Andrea Sinclair in memory of Lee Ann LambJoan and Herman Ruff Jonathan Scilken in memory of Parker Sinclair Wynne Stovallin memory of Jarod M. Ruff in memory of David Scilken Ruth Sines in memory of David StovallJill and Robert Runke Joan and Daniel Scott Carmela and Tom Silvinski Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Straderin memory of Amanda Runke in memory of Daniel J. Scott, Jr. in memory of Francesca Slivinski in memory of Christopher Lewis StraderSandy, Kenny and Tracy Rupp Mr. and Mrs. Tim Scott Janis and Doug Sloane Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Strangein memory of Chris Rupp in memory of Justin Stewart Scott in memory of Charlotte Elizabeth in memory of Thomas R. Strange, Jr.Jeanette Ryan Francesca and Louis Scotto Carnaghan Nancy Strattonin memory of Ryan McCray in memory of Danielle L. Scotto Mark Slomann in memory of James StrattonMarlene Rybicki Mary Beth and Ed Scully in memory of Robert J. Slomann Isaac Stroudin memory of Eric Rybicki in memory of Tim Scully Mr. and Mrs. Donald R. Smith in support of Terry N-Amber Downey’sJean and Donald Safreed Sandy and Peter Sears in memory of Jessica Jo Smith Facebook fundraiserin memory of Rachel Anne Safreed in memory of Amy Marie Sears Mary Smith Rhonda StroudJon Salinger Catherine and Mike Seckington in memory of Joseph Tucker Smith in support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebookin support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday in memory of Kaitlyn Seckington Nicole Smith fundraiserFacebook fundraiser Cathy Seehuetter in honor of Tracy Smith’s Birthday Lorna and Rick StrudellMaureen Samson in support of Cathy Seehuetter’s Facebook Fundraiser in memory of Miles Leo Danielin memory of Brian Samson Facebook fundraiser Janet and Robert Smith Mary Ann and Terry StrupczewskiNan Sandford Leslie and Metotisi Segi in memory of Kristi Smith Wainscott in memory of Michelle Strupczewskiin memory of Michelle Sandford in memory of Alan Michael Williams Anne and Jim Snively Mr. and Mrs. Taclan SuerdemBrian Sanoshy Allen Segrist in memory of Jacob Snively in memory of Seviin memory of Alexis Sanoshy in memory of Anne L. , James W. and Judy and Jim Snyder Rebecca SuerdieckMartha and Michael Santoro Donna M. Segrist in memory of David Snyder in support of Susan Payne’s Facebookin memory of Paula Rosina Santoro Gretchen Self Dianne, Dnaiel and Joshua Solomon fundraiserKaren Sarli in memory of B.W. and Zachary Self in loving memory of Zachary Solomon Lila Sullivanin support of Karen Perri Sarli’s Giving Joan and Stewart Senator (son and brother) in support of Colleen Sullivan’sTuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Stephen Senator Bill Sonterre Facebook fundraiserDonna and John Sasenick Mary and Bob Sennholtz in memory of Amy Sonterre Irene and Fred Suttonin memory of Scotty Smith in memory of Jason Mehalko Lynda Sowell in memory of Jim SuttonKaren Saullo Sherry Setty in support of Bonnie’s Birthday Nancy Swartin memory of Christopher Michael in memory of Melissa Anne Hinkley Fundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Eric Swart RacheskySaullo Lynne Leopold-Sharp and Dan Sharp Friends/USA John SwartzBrian Savitch in memory of Caroline Lois Sharp Susan Spalter in memory of Lee Ann Lambin memory of Figueroa Savitch-Fosse Rose and Norman Sharp in memory of Richard Tyler Gertz Kay and David SwartzendruberSarah Scank in memory of Diana Rose Sharp Roberta Spencer in memory of Sara Kayin support of Debbie Ramibs’s Birthday Robert Sharples in memory of Agnes and Robert Mary and Oscar SwensonFundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Paul Sharples Johnson in memory of Rick SwensonFriends/USA Joan Block and Clifford Shatz Mona Spero Kathleen Guerin TateNeda Scanlan in memory of Rose Block Shatz in memory of John Lennon Spero in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesdayin memory of Jacob Scanlan Barb and Greg Sheehy Lue and Donald Splittorff Facebook fundraiserSharon and Ray Scesa in memory of Todd Seth in memory of Brandon Mary and George Taylorin memory of Kyle Scesa Diana and David Shelton Rose Marie and Gene Sprando in memory of Shawn TaylorCarol Schaben in memory of Mindy Lea Shelton in memory of Richard and Rebecca Peg and John Taylorin memory of Dena Ann Carter Linda Shively Sprando in memory of Jamie Hannia andCarol Schachtman in memory of Jessica Irene Fernandes Jean and Lee Spratt Bridget Taylorin support of Janis’s Birthday Fundraiser April and Willis Shiver in memory of Mark D. Spratt Katherine Tenderfor The Compassionate Friends/USA in memory of Roxane Kushner Moore Doug Stanczak in memory of Scott PotthoffBernadette and Robin Schendel Marti and Julien Shoemaker in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Tennyson Family Foundationin memory of Ashley Shendel in memory of Dave Hilton Shoemaker Facebook fundraiser in memory of Jill Ellen TennysonDora Ellen Schick Sammye and Dennis Short Audrey Stanley Patricia and Mark Terryin memory of Michael Cude and James in memory of Matt Short in memory of John Craven Katherine TetiSchick Willadean and JL Short Georgianna Starz in memory of Roxane MooreMarie Schmeltzer in memory of Danielle L. Short and in memory of Christopher Starz Sybil Thackersonin memory of Samuel Schmeltzer Tiesa A. Short Jean Statz in memory of Paul Ryan ThackersonSheryl and Howard Schmidt Kathy Shoucair in memory of Brian and Roman Michelle and Robert Therouxin memory of Allison Schmidt in memory of Jeffrey Shoucair Yvonne and Chris Steere in memory of Matthew J. TherouxNancy Schmidt Logan Karen and Lew Siegler in memory of Real A. Rousseau Rae and Mark Therrienin memory of Andrew Murphy in memory of Craig Siegler Gwen Stetson in memory of Matthew SomchaiBarbara Schrage Anne Marie and Craig Siegman in memory of Tyler Stetson Therrienin memory of Olivia Mary Katherine in memory of Keith Filey David Stewart Thomas ThiermannCerone Jayne and John Siever in memory of Timothy Paul Stewart in memory of Heather ThiermannJoan and Richard Schroeder in memory of Tom Siever Gregory Stewart Kay and David Thomasin memory of Jack Schroeder and David Carol Silverman in memory of John Protiva in memory of Sammy Joseph ThomasSnepp in memory of Marc Sandy Goldsmith Chris Stirone Kathy ThomasPatti Schultz Terri Baumberger Simon in memory of Brian Estrella in support of Susan Payne’s Facebookin memory of Christofer M. Schultz in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Marlene Stokes fundraiserPatricia Schumacher Facebook fundraiser in memory of Darren A. StokesVickie and Norm Schuring (continued on page 42)in memory of Michael J. Schuring4 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

The Compassionate Friends Closed Facebook Groups The Compassionate Friends offers a variety of closed Facebook Groups. These pages are moderated by bereaved parents, siblings, or grandparents, and may not be accessed unless a request to join is approved by a moderator. These pages were established to encourage connection and sharing among parents, grandparents, and siblings grieving the death of a child, grandchild or sibling. TCF – Loss of a Child TCF - Loss to Substance Related Causes Moderators: Catherine Clayton Hyzy, Kelly Coccia-Stanczak, Moderators: Barbara Allen, Karen Colangelo, Mary Lemley, Carol Jennifer Dixon, Donna Goodrich, Carol Martin, and Eileen Nittler Wiles, and Karen Zaorski https://www.facebook.com/groups/407123299460580/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1515193738693712/ TCF – Loss of a Stepchild TCF - Sibling Loss to Substance Related Causes Moderator: Babe Muro Moderators: Barbara Allen, Kristy Flower, and Andrea Keller https://www.facebook.com/groups/1615569958699734/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1516508415263760/ TCF – Loss of a Grandchild TCF - Loss to Suicide Moderators: Grace Cassidy, Mary Ebert Fisk, and Debbie Fluhr Moderators: Donna Adams, Carla Askew, Leanna Leyes, Barbara https://www.facebook.com/groups/421759177998317/ Reboratti, Barb Smith Bauer, Deidre Taylor, and Mary Ann Ward https://www.facebook.com/groups/100315106988458/ TCF – Sibs (for bereaved siblings) TCF - Loss to Homicide Moderators: Luci Abrahamson, Dylan Stoskus, Katelyn Stoskus, Stephen Stott, and Cindy Tart Moderators: Rebecca Perkins and Dawn Wassel https://www.facebook.com/groups/423034198138425/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/924779440868148/ TCF – Multiple Losses TCF – Loss of a Child with Special Needs Moderators: Karen McCormick and Bettie-Jeanne Rivard-Darby Moderators: Kelly Lynch, Donna Reagan, and Krissy Tempesta https://www.facebook.com/groups/1349655251809164/ Brigante https://www.facebook.com/groups/1150750608285413/ TCF – Men in Grief TCF – Loss to Long-term Illness Moderators: Gary Odle and Mark Rambis https://www.facebook.com/groups/1614661475452607/ Moderator: Debbie Gossen https://www.facebook.com/groups/833665880062696/ TCF – Grandparents Raising their Grandchildren TCF – Loss to Mental Illness Moderator: Diana Marie https://www.facebook.com/groups/1811379385769506/ Moderators: Sherry Cox and Annette Swestyn https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481781792114726/ TCF – Bereaved Parents with Grandchild Visitation Issues TCF – Loss to a Drunk/Impaired Driver Moderator: Rita Studzinski https://www.facebook.com/groups/1406047022842196/ Moderators: Michelle Arrowood and Robin Landry https://www.facebook.com/groups/858226880883307/ TCF – Sudden Death TCF – Loss to Cancer Moderators: Carol Ladouceur, Bettie-Jeanne Rivard-Darby, and Dana Young Moderator: Rita Studzinski https://www.facebook.com/groups/103330700152910/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/903539646362818/ TCF – Loss to Miscarriage or Stillbirth TCF – Loss of Your Only Child/All Your Children Moderators: Libby Hall and Kelly Kittel Moderators: Becky Barch, Joannie Kemling and Tonja Knobel https://www.facebook.com/groups/1416535188654265/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/976514755722145/ TCF - Infant and Toddler Loss TCF – Crafty Corner Moderators: Julia West and Deanna Wheeler Moderators: Gail Lafferty and Kathy Rambo https://www.facebook.com/groups/1511758585777339/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/663193450477232/© lola1960/fotolia.com TCF - Loss of a Child 4 - 12 Years Old The Compassionate Friends Chapter Leadership (for anyone currently serving on a Chapter steering committee) Moderators: Heike and Brian Mayle https://www.facebook.com/groups/258423774673226/ Moderator: Debbie Rambis https://www.facebook.com/groups/1422251371371148/ We Need Not Walk Alone|4 1

TCF Board of Directors (continued from page 40) Ann and William Van Cleave in memory of Alexander Roehl Van Cleave Allie Sims Franklin Heidi Horsley Michelle Thomason Doris Van Meter in memory of Michael Edward Thomason in memory of Dale Van Meter President Tucson, AZ Bertilla and John Thompson Betty Vance in memory of Aaron Jack Thompson in support of Betty’s fundraiser for The Federal Way, WA Brian Janes Jayne and Frank Thompson Compassionate Friends/USA in memory of Gabe Thompson Donna and Tom Vanderhei Brian Janes Olathe, KS Ghislaine Thomsen in memory of Troy Vanderhei in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Patricia Velasco Vice President Marie Levine Facebook fundraiser in memory of Matthew Velasco Olathe, KS New York, NY Andrea Thorne Lisa Vertulfo in memory of Kelly T. Muzzi in support of Eileen Nittler’s Facebook Jacquie Edwards-Mitchell Tim Meadows Karen and Alan Thursby fundraiser Treasurer Santa Cruz, CA in memory of Sarah Bonnie and Gary Vick Karen and Charles Tinnon in memory of Micheal J. Vick Brooklyn, NY Steve Parker in memory of David Craig Tinnon Mary and Vitauts R. Vitolins Woodland Hills, CA Shirley Tippie in memory of Laura M. Vitolins Ann Khadalia in memory of Charlie E. Tippie Dana and Bobby Volkay Secretary Donna Schuurman Kim and Joel Tiss in memory of Zachary and Matthew in memory of Jackie Tiss Volkay Concord, CA Together4Tanner Foundation Susan and R.J. Wagner in memory of Tanner Webb in memory of Ryder and Levi Roy Davies Portland, OR Elizabeth and Robert Tolley Susan Wagner Greenbrier, TN Cindy Tart in memory of Alan Clark Tolley in memory of Wendy Hotrum Carmen and Jaime Torres Marla Walker Art Estrella Sibling Representative in memory of Marcelo Torres in memory of Paul Rae Walker, III West Covina, CA Fayetteville, NC Barbara Toth Alice Waller Debbie Rambis in memory of Matthew J. Corvese in memory of Jonathan Waller and Maj. Executive Director TPAC Underwriters, Inc. Lee Dufford Harley in memory of Brian Ammerman Molly and Bob Walsh dSpring, TX Bridie and Paul Tracy in memory of Andrew (Drew) Walsh TCF Staff in memory of Paul Tracy, Jr. and Tommy Christian Walsh Tracy in memory of Ryan Thomas Walsh Terry Novy Paul W. Trainor Anne Walz Calvey Director of Chapter Services in memory of Lauren and Samuel Moore in memory of Annie Lois Kortsch Victoria Trance William Warmath Cathy Seehuetter in support of Susan’s Birthday Fundraiser in support of Bonnie’s Birthday Fundraiser Director of Online Services for The Compassionate Friends/USA for The Compassionate Friends/USA Peggy Trant Iris Warren Theresa Mendez in memory of Ryan Matthew Trant in memory of April Warren Page Accounting and Database Coordinator Susan Trisler Diane Wass in memory of Paula Rosina Santoro in memory of Sammy Marshall Sara Zeigler Fred Troutman Ron Waters Communications Coordinator in memory of Jonathan Michael Troutman in support of Rick Yotti’s Facebook Linda Tubbiolo fundraiser Darlene Lutka in support of Rick Yotti’s Facebook Nora Watson Receptionist and Administrative Assistant fundraiser in support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Richard P. Umbel, Jr. Facebook fundraiser Joan Ireland in memory of Brooke Tennyson Umbel Dena and Keith Watts Administrative Assistant Kay Underwood in memory of Andrew B. Watts in support of Susan Payne’s Facebook Cathy and Fred Wayand Correspondence for The Compassionate Friends Staff fundraiser in memory of Timothy Frederick Wayand should be sent to: TCF National Office, University of Dayton Sport Management Fred Weisgerber in support of Hannah Taylor in memory of Rebecca Millard 1000 Jorie Boulevard, Suite 140, Oak Brook, IL 60523 Mr. and Mrs. Dilawar Uthman Drs. Margo and Richard Weiss in memory of Laila Uthman in memory of Brian J. Weiss© viperagp/fotolia.com Amy, Mary Jean, Mathan and Rachel Mark Weiss from UW Health Business Systems in memory of Or Oved-Weiss Management Joan and Stanley Weiss Sarah Vallaro in memory of Jonthan P. Wiess in memory of Damon Vallaro Linda and Rudy Weissberg Nancy Vallencourt in memory of Rudolph Louis Weissberg in memory of Kelly Mullen and Mathew Richard Weller Mullen in memory of Stephen Richard Weller Valley View Community Drug-Free Judy and B-Chen Wen Coalition in memory of Felix Wen Lucille and Paul Valliere Varda and Arnie Wendroff in memory of Christopher Valliere in memory of Lauren Michelle Wendroff4 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Barbara Wessels John-Paul Wilson We Need Not Walk Alonein memory of Roger H. Matos in support of Susan Payne’s FacebookHoward West fundraiser To have material considered for publication, send to:in memory of Caranne Baklarz-Gleason Sue Ellen and Geoff Wilson [email protected] Ann Marie Baklarz in memory of Stephanie Jean Fiorino or TCF National Office, WNNWAJulia West Lynn and Jim Winikates PO Box 3696in support of Julia West’s Giving in memory of James Louis Winikates Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696Tuesday Facebook fundraiser Ronna Wisbrod EditorMartha West in memory of Hadyn Wisbrod Cathy Seehuetterin memory of Andrew West Gail Withuhn DesignerRoberta West in memory of James Edward Withuh Sara Zeiglerin support of Julia West’s Giving Carol and Carl WojciechowskiTuesday Facebook fundraiser in memory of Adam Wojciechowski and TCF National OfficeMary and Ralph Westenberg Dave Pellegrin 1000 Jorie Blvd, Suite 140in memory of Patrick J. May Karen WolfSheryl and Stanley Westerman in memory of Brad Wolf Oak Brook, IL 60523in memory of Darren Craig Westerman Lori M. Wolsky (630) 990-0010Carolyn and Jerry Wheaton in memory of Roxane Kushner Moore (877) 969-0010in memory of Matthew John Wheaton Rebecca and Herlin WooleryBrenda Wheeler in memory of Sarah Rachel Woolery (630) 990-0246 faxin support of Deanna Wheeler’s Pam and David Worl [email protected] fundraiser in memory of Todd M. WorlHugh White Carol Wright www.compassionatefriends.orgin memory of Hugh A. White, Jr. Carolyn E. YaleStephanie White in memory of David Bush Copyright © 2018 The Compassionate Friends, Inc.in memory of Johanna White Michelle and James Young All rights reserved. We encourage the reprinting ofSylvia White in memory of Joshua Taylor Young individual articles, unless specified “one time only,” but askin support of Bonnie’s Birthday Dana Young that proper credit be given to We Need Not Walk Alone.Fundraiser for The Compassionate in memory of Nathan Young This magazine is not to be reproduced for distributionFriends/USA Richard Zajac without written permission from the National Office.Pat and Walter White in memory of Julie Zajacin memory of Aaron S. White, Sr. and Barbara Zalar We Need Not Walk Alone|4 3Randy C. White in memory of Alicia ZalarGina Whitsel Anthony Zaleskyin memory of Matthew David in memory of Maxwell ZaleskyCampagna Tina ZarlengaDonna and Geoff Wiegman in memory of Ryan K. Zarlengain memory of Karen Wiegman MJ ZonfrilloDona Wijtman in memory of Michael A. Zonfrillo, IIIin support of TCF’s Giving Tuesday Herb ZuckerFacebook fundraiser in memory of Eileen ZuckerDebbie and Dave Wilksin memory of Maddisen Nicole Wilks © viperagp/fotolia.comDarrell E. Williamsin memory of Gregory Ellis WilliamsLouise and Jeff Williamsin memory of Kara Lynn WilliamsNancy Williamsin support of Bonnie’s BirthdayFundraiser for The CompassionateFriends/USANancy Williamsin memory of Gregory and JeffreyWilliamsEvelyn Williamsonin support of Elle’s Birthday Fundraiserfor The Compassionate Friends/USADonna Willisin memory of Jared and Jeffrey WillisSally Wilmeth and Terry Geurkinkand Familyin memory of Jenni and Kyle GeurkinkKaren and Ken Wilshein memory of Jason WilsheDelores Wilsonin support of Susan’s fundraiser for TheCompassionate Friends/USA

The Compassionate FriendsWorldwide Candle Lighting Join us on December 9, 2018 “... that their light may always shine.\" PO Box 3696 · Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696 877.969.0010 compassionatefriends.org


Like this book? You can publish your book online for free in a few minutes!
Create your own flipbook