WNNWA | Spring-Summer 2017

We Need Not Walk Alone For bereaved families and the people who care about them, following the death of a child. Spring | Summer 2017

But in all of the sadness, when you’re feeling that your heart is empty and lacking, you’ve got to remember that grief isn’t the absence of love. Grief is the proof that love is still there. ~ Tessa Shaffer

INSIDE this issue Spring | Summer 2017 FEATURES 6 National Conferences: Comforts Conferred by Peggi Johnson 8 Hope = The Compassionate Friends by Marie Levine 10 Ten-Year Anniversary is a Life Marker by Harriet Hodgson 12 The Perfect Last Conversation by Lisa Graves 13 “I Love You More Than Chocolate Cake” by John Mitchell 14 Do It For Brian by Lisa Heath 16 The Wisdom of Darcie Sims: A Breath of Summer – Anytime 18 How Many Children Do You Have? by Kelly Kittel 20 In-laws: They Just Don’t Understand by Gloria Horsley 22 The Downstairs Thief by Elizabeth Brady 24 That One Person Who Doesn’t Rationalize or Deny Our Grief by Bob Baugher, PhD 28 Sibling Chivalry in Grief by Mitch Carmody 30 2016 Worldwide Candle Lighting DEPARTMENTS 4 A Message from the Executive Director 28 Dear Dr. Heidi 32 An Update from the Director of Chapter Services 34 TCF Patron Donations 46 TCF Board of Directors and Staff The views presented within this magazine represent those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of The Compassionate Friends. Cover photo: © sborisov/fotolia.com, Inside cover photo: © olezzo/stock.adobe.com Back photo: korionov ©/fotolia.com We Need Not Walk Alone|3

A Message from the Executive Director When I was nine, my best friend Bobby moved away. His family stopped by our house to say goodbye. I remember telling Bobby good luck but I couldn’t say goodbye. Long before I was forced into this world of grief and loss I did not like the word goodbye, and I still don’t. So, as I write my final column for We Need Not Walk Alone as your Executive Director, I refuse to say goodbye. I want to use this opportunity to reflect fondly on the incredible honor it has been to serve you. From the day I walked into our national office in Oak Brook, Illinois as a wide-eyed newbie on December 1st of 2013 until this very day, I have never taken for granted how fortunate I have been. Honestly, I am not quite sure how I ended up being named our Executive Director; initially, two different people approached me about the job and I said no, but then I did it anyway. Today, I am so grateful that I was given this incredible opportunity. The Compassionate Friends has been my family, my crutch, my hope and my constant since my daughter Ashley died in an automobile accident in August of 2001. Though, I will no longer be our Executive Director after September 30th of 2017, The Compassionate Friends will continue to be all of these things to me for as long as I live. History will judge the effect my nearly four years of service leaves on the organization. My goal when I took this position was simply to work hard every day trying to make a positive difference. My hope was to express deep gratitude from the top of the organization that could be felt by all of our volunteers. I want each of you to know that I appreciate your efforts more than you can imagine. TCF is and will continue to be a great organization because of you, not because of the person sitting behind this desk. I had never heard of The Compassionate Friends until the fall of 2001. A letter sent in the mail by a woman named Linda Shaw was my introduction to this club nobody wants to join. I wrestled with the idea of attending the October meeting but something led me to walk in the front door of the Jefferson County Chapter of TCF in Littleton, Colorado. It was awful; signing in, writing my name, writing Ashley’s name, listing how she died, filling out a name tag … it was awful. Even though I was greeted with a hug at the door and the folks were friendly, I did not want to be in that room, but I stayed. That first night as I listened to others describe their loss I couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of pain sitting around that circle. When it was my turn I could barely speak, but I was somehow able to say her name and express my pain. The memories of the rest of that evening are foggy; I do remember leaving with the thought that I would never return, but I did. Over the next few months I began to talk a little more and feel a lot more. While my pain was unbearable there was something about this group of people that was helping me. As much as I tried to convince myself that I could walk this journey alone, something would always draw me back. This group of grievers were becoming my family, my rock, my soft place to fall, and my lifeline. One night after I had been attending for a few months, I was asked to serve on the steering committee. I did not want to say yes, but I did. Writing songs was one of the ways I coped with loss. I would go to the desert of Arizona and sit for days with my guitar writing words and music about the experience of loving my daughter, raising her, having her die, and then trying to put my life back together. One of my TCF friends heard that I had been writing songs about my grief and asked me to play it at our Chapter candle lighting. I said absolutely not, it would be too difficult for me, but I did it anyway. Looking back there were a lot of times I really wanted to say no, but somehow said yes. When grieving families asked me to record these songs I had written, I was reluctant, but I did it. When my music began circulating among the grief world 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

© Halfpoint/fotolia.comand invitations started coming in to travel and play music for grief groups, I hesitated, said no, and then hit the road for ten years playing music and sharing my grief journey in more than 1,000 cities including 300 Chapters of TCF. Over the years, I have had the honor of hearing the stories, shaking the hands, hugging the necks and walking this journey with tens of thousands of Compassionate Friends. Each one of them left an impression on my soul and has been a driving force in me wanting to touch as many hurting people as I possibly can. I have been given the gift of hope by all who have shared in my pain and in my healing. My deepest gratitude is to all who have shared your beautiful children, grandchildren and siblings with me. You have blessed my life. It was a difficult decision to leave the position of Executive Director. So many great memories, an incredible staff, and such wonderful growth in the numbers of people we are reaching. But, it is my time to go back to the place where the biggest part of my heart remains…on the road. I look forward to visiting hundreds of Chapters over the coming years as I continue speaking, writing and performing music, and conducting workshops for organizations large and small. As I hand the reigns to our next executive director, I want to thank all those I have served with on the Board of Directors, our hardworking and dedicated staff who believe in our mission so deeply, our incredible partners in media at Open to Hope, and all of our donors and volunteers who give so generously. The Compassionate Friends is truly a family. I look forward to being a part of and continuing to serve this beautiful family for as long as I am able. Blessings, and thanks for the honor of serving as your Executive Director, Alan Alan Pedersen, TCF Executive Director How I Found Hope ... Two weeks after our beautiful nineteen year-old daughter, Tiffanie, died of bacterial meningitis, my wife, Kathy, and I, were ushered into a small room feeling devastated, desperate, and totally hopeless.  Ten women and three men welcomed us with kind, sympathetic words and caring hugs, as we formed a circle for the chapter’s monthly Compassionate Friends meeting.  Resisting our instincts to quietly leave, we listened as the group shared heartfelt experiences about their children’s’ lives and deaths and the impact on them and their families.  Our new “compassionate friends” family taught us that living a productive life was still possible after losing a child and TCF would ensure we never had to walk our grief journey alone.   Chuck Collins, TCF-Fairfax Chapter/VA We Need Not Walk Alone|5

National Conferences: Comforts Conferred by. Peggi Johnson © zuccheronero/fotolia.com My cherished and fiercely loved son Jordan died by suicide in April of 2009 at the age of 19. In the minutes, hours, days and weeks that followed, I struggled to figure out how to live with a heart that hurt so much I could not comprehend why it still beat. It felt as though my entire existence had been detonated. A dear friend made me aware of The Compassionate Friends almost immediately. As I trudged through time, I read TCF materials, sporadically attended chapter meetings, met with a grief counselor, and joined a suicide survivor support group. I was aware that a TCF National Conference was offered that summer – the summer of 2009 - in Portland, OR. Attending a conference at that point was unfathomable. Events unfolded differently in 2010. For one thing, the conference was to be held in Arlington, VA. Since I lived in Northern Virginia, this meant that the conference was “local.” I would not have to travel. I would not have to stay in a hotel. 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

It had already been my privilege to meet Chuck and Kathy This year, 2017, will be my eighth national conference. Collins, the chairpersons of the 2010 National Conference. It will be my fifth conference as a workshop presenter. I Through them, I learned that Senator Gordon Smith would will be a facilitator for sharing sessions. I will attend the deliver the keynote address at the opening ceremony. I luncheon and the banquet. I will participate in the Walk was aware that Senator Smith had lost his son to suicide in to Remember. I will greet enthusiastically many bereaved 2003. I was also aware that his son was adopted, as was my parents and siblings who have become treasured friends. Jordan. My need to hear what I will embrace the newly Senator Smith had to say was I struggled to figure out how to live bereaved. I will remember desperate. and honor my precious son. I As I wrestled with unbearable with a heart that hurt so much I will consider it time devoted grief, one of my coping could not comprehend why it still in tribute to him. mechanisms was reading, If you contemplate attending beat. It felt as though my entire a conference as a first timer, mostly about grief and loss. I read relentlessly and existence had been detonated. I offer these suggestions. Do compulsively. what you can do, do what is A book I found helpful was right for you, conserve your Life after the Death of My Son: What I’m Learning by Dennis strength, and take breaks when you need them. There is no Apple. In fact, Dennis’ book was so compelling that I had obligation to participate in everything that is offered. (There initiated an email correspondence with him. When he is not even an obligation to remain in a workshop if you discovered that I lived in Northern Virginia, he mentioned find it isn’t a good fit; you’re free to leave.) that he would be presenting a workshop at the National If you know others attending this conference who has Conference. He suggested I attend. attended previous conferences, listen to their advice about Several books I read were written by Gordon Livingston, which workshops might be most helpful for you. They will including Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart and Only Spring. steer you to presenters who may be especially inspirational, Dr. Livingston had lost two sons, one to suicide and one affirming or articulate. to cancer. When the conference materials were circulated, We are all different, we all have different circumstances of I noticed that Dr. Livingston, a psychiatrist living in loss and we’re all walking our grief journeys in our own way. Columbia, MD, was also a workshop presenter. What is helpful to one person may not be helpful to another. I became committed to attending this conference. I thought Conferences can be an intense experience. Give yourself I might have to crawl there, I thought I might be wearing time to process that experience. If it’s possible, take a few pajamas, but I resolved to attend. So I did. days off after the conference to reflect and recover. I went to Senator Smith’s keynote speech and I attended Most of all, know this: comforts will be conferred. You will workshops for as long as my energy allowed. For the most find comfort in attending a National Conference. I know part, I spoke to no one except to greet the people there who I did and I know I continue to find comfort in this sacred I already knew. I certainly did not seek to meet anyone else. place: the TCF National Conference. I sat through presentations as silent as a stone, my crumpled tissues squeezed in my hands. I did not attend sharing After adopting two children, Peggi resigned from her corporate career in sessions. I did not attend the banquet. I did not participate telecommunications and devoted herself to full time motherhood. When her in the Walk to Remember. I did what I could. It was enough. son, Jordan, died by suicide at the age of 19, Peggi, her husband Jeff, and her daughter Claire were devastated and dumbfounded. They joined the Gordon Smith, Dennis Apple and Gordon Livingston were Arlington, VA Chapter of TCF and Peggi edited the newsletter for six chapters amazing. Their words and their presence were affirming, in the Washington, DC area for two years. After her husband’s retirement, validating, consoling, and encouraging. I felt as though I they relocated to Charlottesville, VA where they joined the Piedmont, VA TCF was the recipient of emotional CPR. Chapter. Peggi serves as chapter co-leader and edits the chapter newsletter. She is also a volunteer for hospice and writes articles for TCF. I knew then that, if possible, I would never miss another TCF National Conference. We Need Not Walk Alone|7

© apitsada/fotolia.com Hope = The Compassionate Friends by Marie Levine Sudden, unexpected deaths - walking, running, Olivia was born still - an umbilical cord too tightly skiing, skating, driving, flying, burning, drinking, wound. drugging, falling, swimming, shooting, stabbing, Lucas was two days old when he died from hanging, jumping; heart attacks, brain tumors, complications. seizures, aneurisms, strokes, organ failures - so Greta was only two years old when she was killed many ways to die. by falling debris. No matter the age, no matter the reason - they all Max was seven when he died from a brain tumor - were children - leaving their parents and siblings Jasmina was only six. here to grieve their too early, unexpected deaths. Jaden was ten when an asthma attack proved fatal - Every day children die. While the world turns for Donald was 16 when he suffered a similar fate. most, for so many parents the world suddenly Kareem was 15 when he drowned along with his stops. Losing a child sets survivors on a totally brother Kevin; Peter was 22 when his friend lost unanticipated life path. control of the car he was driving him home in; This grief is different. There is so much to deal with Charlie was 23 when his prescription didn’t work even while disbelief is the prism through which with his social life; Mark and Karen were on their everything else must now be seen. In a numb honeymoon when their bus ran off a mountain in state of initial shock, we go through the motions Nepal; Kelli was 39 when she succumbed to ovarian necessary to shutting down a life only partially cancer; Jimmy was 36 when a heart attack took lived. At last, able to focus on our grief, we discover him, and his brother Charlie followed a year later it is not like any grief we have ever experienced, when cancer chose him. Eleanor was 41, Philip was learned about or lived through with anyone we’ve 45, Andrew was 47, and Harvey was 59. ever known. We try in vain to understand this 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

mind-bending confusion while the uninitiated around us perspective, our health, our attitudes, our capabilities, our try to offer well intended but ultimately useless comfort needs, our desires, and our understanding. Our healthy and solace based on their own limited understanding of survival depends on our ability to reinvent ourselves. The loss. Our inability to fathom our new reality and the loss of future we spent a lifetime envisioning and working towards hope for a future creates even more pain and isolation. Only becomes a black hole; we have no idea where we’re headed those who have lived this calamity recognize the future that and we simply slide toward some unknown destination. newly bereaved parents Adjustment to this new face. The bereaved become reality can take years - the aliens in a world where The future we spent a lifetime better part of a lifetime. they no longer feel like envisioning and working towards As Jason Greene, Greta’s they belong. Dad said, “Children heatLeasthhexxbseoeeiptoaesnrmlieuxbaiknrnpteosgitgegoeruhdcinandnnaticecetnoane’hsdtpeai.tni,osreaBlndydgwrien’hotgocniaausbrafbpibsueaelastgesnfsnew.iniWteyaebraeergleoinrsesinlwtugobcotchetarunoeceretowrmptoemiiann“wld.reeWstd.segeH’oarsbe”eeoaaglbsiminhnolgatetehoacerukds nehdkonlaeIFhotnro;wtipaedwenkneddewsso.adehesveelaisrsvyvitemile-onninnpagoltotiuyimroieswdnltooier.dlcadaerheoapbesraciwnoetadioemuersunrvtdTlayeitaothisnantiegnhdbyedoiCltosetheounolailomonrodvssgtepspis.”rnoaeafoogscsEw.tskarvhiiaeLoaeneytlnni,r.wsktawBeuatueeyaatsll.y encourage us to do. Our grief is the most solid thing we have. We hang on for dear life. “Getting over it” is Marie and Phil Levine’s only child, Peter, was killed while being driven home by a college friend who had been drinking. She has been Chapter impossible. They say we’ll never be the same; they are right. Leader in Manhattan, NY for many years and also serves as leader of Frustrated by our inability to describe this unique grief the Twin Forks/ Hamptons chapter, which she founded 10 years ago. In experience, we finally find a measure of relief when we meet addition, she is Newsletter Editor of both chapters. Recently, Marie was others who have lost a child. Without saying a word we feel safe in knowing they understand exactly what we are appointed to the TCF national board of directors. She was awarded TCF feeling. They’ve been there - and survived. Chapter Leadership Award in 2012. She presented the “Now Childless” webinar currently available on the TCF website. She has been a frequent Parents who survive their children are chemically workshop presenter at TCF National Conferences and is the author of First rearranged. Like a butterfly’s metamorphosis, we too must You Die: Learn to Live After the Death of Your Child and The Tincture of confront changes in our personality, our physicality, our Time for those further along in their grief journey. How I Found Hope ... © Ruth P. Peterkin/fotolia.com The Minneapolis conference of 2011, only 3 ½ months after the drowning death of our son, Tony Rambis, restored a glimmer of hope for my broken heart and soul. The atmosphere of those three days was an aurora of soft assuring words, touches and hugs of unsaid understanding, and a sense of modeled compassion and healing. Healing in numbers and healing in wisdom, from those who once walked ahead of me in THEIR sorrow and grief, but now walked with me in the darkest time of my life. Mark Rambis, Tony’s Dad, Spring, TX We Need Not Walk Alone|9

© Stillfx / stock.adobe.com Ten-Year Anniversary is a Life Marker by Harriet Hodgson “The 10th anniversary of Helen’s death is coming up,” the twins’ father, had a will and it listed us as the twins’ I told my husband. “I think we should do something guardians. The court followed her wishes. significant—write a large check to the food bank or the When the twins moved in with us they were 15 years public library.” John nodded his head in agreement. old and we cared for them for seven years. Life was hard Helen died from the injuries she received in a car crash. for us all. John and I tried to be upbeat for the twins, yet There were audio books in the car and I was the one who at the same time, we were grieving for multiple losses. returned them to the library, told the librarian Helen had Helen died of blunt force trauma, words I hate to say or died, and the books were overdue. write. On a snowy night she entered a highway from a “I owe you money,” I said. rural road and her car was hit broadside. Helen suffered The librarian’s reply: “You owe us nothing.” severe external and internal injuries. Her daughter, who As soon as I finished this story, I began to cry. What was in the car with her, had a mild concussion. was going on? The 10th anniversary of Helen’s death The 10-year marker of Helen’s death took us back in time, was really an anniversary of four deaths. In 2007, four back to trauma, back to emotional pain. family members—Helen (mother of our twin grandkids), Bob Deitz, in his book, Life and Loss, writes about grief my father-in-law, my brother, and the twins’ father—all anniversaries. Grief can be a time of self-discovery, died. No wonder John and I think of this year as the according to Deitz. As he explains, “Grief is as much about year of death. Thankfully Helen, who was divorced from finding as it is about losing.” John and I understand this 1 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

sentence. We think becoming GRGs (grandparents raising The minute I saw them, I started to cry and noticed many grandchildren) is the greatest blessing of our lives. Over time, wedding guests were crying too. the four of us evolved into a “grand family” and our lives meshed. Each of us recovered from grief in our own way. Grief anniversaries are times of remembering. Toronto poet Maureen Scott Harris writes about her memories in Sonya Lott, PhD, writes about grief reconciliation/recovery “The Tenth Anniversary of Your Death.” Thoughts of the in her article, “Finding New Meaning in Your Living After a past prove “it is not fading,” she writes. Helen and the twins Loved One Dies,” posted on the Good Therapy website. The have not faded from our lives and we are still connected path to integrated grief involves three convergent processes, to them. Our granddaughter works at The Salvation Army notes Lott; accepting reality, finding new meaning in life, headquarters in St. Paul, Minnesota and is an independent and staying bonded to the photographer. Our deceased. John and I went grandson is a student at through all three processes The Mayo Clinic School and life settled down for a Similar to a highway mile marker, the of Medicine and will be while. anniversary of Helen’s death was a life the third physician in our immediate family. But crisis struck in 2013; marker, and proved my resilience. All of these experiences— John’s aorta suddenly dissected. He was bleeding John’s health crisis, raising to death and surgeons grandchildren, multiple operated on him three times in an attempt to stop the losses, and Helen’s death—were part of the 10th anniversary. bleeding. During the last operation, John suffered a spinal Similar to a highway mile marker, the anniversary of Helen’s cord injury that paralyzed his legs. He was hospitalized for death was a life marker, and proved my resilience. I had eight months; during this time I moved us out of the house made it this far, created a new life, and learned many things. we had lived in for 20+ years, put the house on the market, I know I’m a strong person. I know writing is a source of visited him three times a day, and maintained a writing comfort and knowledge. I know giving to others helped me career. survive tragedy. I know goal-setting is an ongoing task. I know each moment of life is a miracle. Our love is stronger than ever, yet I grieve for John’s disability and its impact on our lives. Most important, I know I made good things from grief. John knew he might not survive the last surgery, but was Harriet Hodgson has been a freelancer for 37 years, is the author of willing to “roll the dice,” as he put it, because he wanted to thousands of print/Internet articles, and 35 books, including seven grief see the twins graduate from college. Although he wasn’t resources. Now in her 19th year of caregiving, Hodgson has written a series able to be there, he cried when he learned both twins of four books for family caregivers. To learn more about her work please graduated with high honors and Phi Beta Kappa. Because visit www.harriethodgson.com, www.writelife.com, or www.amazon.com. he “rolled the dice” he was able to be in our granddaughter’s wedding and escorted her down the aisle in his wheelchair. How I Found Hope ... © ValentinValkov/fotolia.com I found Compassionate Friends On-Line-Chat at the worst time of my life, my daughter had just died suddenly. I felt the love and support in the chats, with others that understood, it gave me reason to Hope! I now am a moderator in the chat rooms and hope I can help others like they helped me. Karen Gieselman, Melissa’s Mom, Holyrood, KS We Need Not Walk Alone|1 1

The Perfect Last Conversation by Lisa Graves © Julija Sapic / stock.adobe.com It was the perfect last conversation, a well- They called me because you don’t answer practiced dance we fell into without notice. I phone calls. They tell me you need to adjust the was standing at the sink with my hands in warm medication that thins your blood. When I see you dishwater, when you came into the kitchen from later in the day, in my best neutral mom voice, I your room in back. Draping your arms over the suggest you name that phone number so when refrigerator door, you silently scanned for food. the lab calls again, you’ll know to answer the call. I found comfort in this familiar small gesture. I You utter a “yea, yea...ok“. initiated the conversation trying to make it sound like the thought had just now occurred, like we The evening that you die, I look through your were conducting the business of evenings already phone and find a message from the lab; it’s just past. The long scar starting at your heart and phone numbers on the voicemail screen. ending above your belly told a more truthful story. This was your 12th day home, 12 weeks after Our perfect last conversation was part of an surgery that gave your heart mechanical agreement that was made while once tethered rhythm. I spoke first...reminding you that your together. There was no truth telling, no heart- doctor would call you in the morning, and pouring dialogue on that last night, just nagging you might want to tell her that you had started and irritating banter. Us at our worst was us at smoking again. You were silent, then responded, our most real. We were family. “Everyone’s bugging me, just leave me alone, I’ve got everything under control.” At 22, you Lisa Graves lives in the Bay Area in Northern California. suddenly became 12 again. She stumbled on to writing after the death of her 22 year old son. You can contact Lisa and read more of her writing at thebrokenbranch.com. The week before, I received a call from the lab that left me unable to sort my fear and anger. 1 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

© lilechka75 / stock.adobe.com “I Love You More Than Chocolate Cake” by John Mitchell Twenty-three years ago, on the day we buried our sons two hours because you also had to explain why you loved Kevin John and Kareem Anthony, my wife and I attended each person and how much; thank you, Kevin, who started our first TCF meeting. I can still remember walking into that. After a very long work day, my wife said, “Ok. I love that room that was divided into two groups; one group had you guys more than chocolate cake,” and for the first time people like me; sad, angry, hurt, crying, and distraught….the everyone was happy and agreed that she loved them very other group had the people that I wanted to be, people that much. After that, it became a tradition in our home, and it were smiling, hugging, talking, and not crying. has become my trademark to end our TCF meetings and all TCF events with – “I love you more than chocolate cake.” I knew I had found my people; I just didn’t know how long it would take for me to graduate from group “A” to group John Mitchell and his wife Jacquie, along with their three sons, were on a “B”. No matter how sad the meeting made me feel and how much I cried, I felt safe and looked forward to being there much anticipated family vacation when the unthinkable happened. What every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. should have been a lifetime of joyful memories turned into tragedy when And then one day I turned around and realized that not only was I now in group “B”, I was the Chapter Leader and Kareem (Reemie) 15 and Kevin 12 suffered what turned out to be a fatal the Regional Coordinator. I was standing in the front of the room sharing my story, encouraging all our new parents to accident at the hotel swimming pool. attend at least three meetings before deciding that TCF was not for them. I also learned on this journey that sometimes In shock, after such a catastrophic, life-altering event, John and Jacquie, not it’s OK to remember the past; we don’t always have to only focus on our new reality. knowing where to turn for help or advice were led to The Compassionate I used to wish each of my children good night individually, Friends (TCF). They began going to meetings at the Manhattan Chapter kind of like the Walton’s with their “Good night, Ma” and “Good night, Pa.” In my house, the good nights could take where they found comfort and support, and came to believe that TCF saved their life. John also lost a brother to a tragic train accident several years ago and has facilitated groups of bereaved parents and siblings, and is now co-leader for the Manhattan Chapter. He reaches out to other bereaved parents and gives them hope that they can also restore their lives and honor the memory of their lost children. John is also co-Regional Coordinator for the State of New York. He has one surviving son, Kristopher, who has a degree in Criminal Justice, and has presented workshops to bereaved siblings at national conferences. We Need Not Walk Alone|1 3

© Bastos / stock.adobe.com Do It For Brian by Lisa Heath The quality of one’s life is not determined by length but by depth…what that person brought to this world while they were here. I can proudly say that in the 17 years that my son Brian was here on earth that he brought so much to so many. My story began on August 29, 1997, the day I was blessed with this beautiful brown-haired, blue-eyed baby boy…the happiest day of my life. Fast forward  17 years later to November 7, 2014, the day my son was in an auto accident and did not survive. The day my life, as I knew it, would be changed…forever. The day started off like any other morning. I woke up, got ready for work, and woke up Brian for school. Brian came downstairs while I was drinking coffee, all wet in his towel, asking me to iron his clothes for school that day.  I, as usual, said “okay”.  As I was ironing his clothes, I had a package sitting on the kitchen counter that was delivered the prior evening. New black boots. I told Brian, as I was ironing, that he could open the box for me. He opened the box and started laughing and says, “Mom, really…these are ugly”. I come in the kitchen and, my God, they were. We are both laughing and I burst out into song and sang, “These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are going to walk all over you” and as I’m singing I’m poking Brian. We’re laughing. As he is laughing, he hugs me and says “I love you”. Looking back now at that morning, I cherish that hug, as it was the last time I would ever hug my son. I get in my car, Brian gets in his car, and as I look at him he signs, “I love you” with his hands. I signal back. Little did I know that a few hours later Brian would be gone.  The following weeks and months, I just did not know how I was going to do this; how to live my life without him, as if I even wanted to. Each day was filled with endless crying, and the why him and how could this happen to such an amazing young man with his entire life in front of him. He was supposed to be getting ready to graduate high school in June, not be gone! Brian is my world...my life…my purpose. What is life without him?   And then it happened about six months later…  the first time I laughed. I paused and thought to myself, how can I be laughing? My son is gone and I’m laughing. I felt guilty. But then I realized my laughing didn’t mean 1 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

I have forgotten he was gone. It didn’t make the pain in my There are no easy answers after we lose our child. There heart hurt any less. It didn’t make me not miss him any less. are no simple directions to follow. You do not go through What it did mean is that I was still alive and that I could the “stages of grief ” after you lose a child and miraculously miss him, be heartbroken and in pain, but still experience wake up after the last one and say, “Hooray, I made it; I am joy. Brian had a mother who was full of life. Who was ditzy, healed”. This will last a lifetime. funny and who didn’t take life or herself too seriously. What kind of mother would I be if he was looking down What I can tell you is that I have made it 28 months without from heaven watching me deteriorate? Brian hated when Brian because I had no other choice. I made a choice to he saw me upset. I know he would not want me to live the rise. I made a choice to take the tragedy of his death and remainder of my life in sorrow, every single day. I had to not have it mean everything. His death shakes me to the accept joy and happiness again, just like I had to accept the core. But his life--his life--brings me so much joy and sadness and pain. I had smiles. Seventeen years of being his mom is the greatest gift to accept that while I was sad and crying that I was ever given. The joy he brought to me, It took time to accept and trulyat the same time it was the laughs, and the fun memories; the tears, the okay for me to laugh and chats, just everything. There are so many understand that for me, in my life now,enjoy life. Not an easy moments that could that sadness and happiness go hand intask to do hand in hand. never be taken away from me; they are what I It literally is like being try to focus on daily.   I have shed tears each hand with each other and that’s okay.on a roller coaster, which day for 28 months. In the midst of my pain, I have learned to laugh again. I have learned to accept joy, in spite of the pain. I is funny because I hate am continuously learning how to navigate through this world roller coasters. Brian, for without my son. I fall…a lot. But I always get back up. years, tried to get me on one, but that’s what this journey is like. One minute I can be laughing having a good time and a couple hours later be on the couch crying because I miss my son so much. It took time to accept and truly understand that for me, in my life now, that sadness and happiness go hand in hand with each If someone would have told me that I would still be here 28 other and that’s okay. It was okay for me to cry, but it was months later after losing Brian in that car accident I would also okay for me to laugh. I wasn’t betraying my son or his have told them they were crazy. But I am here. I am living; memory by still enjoying life. Because of the relationship not just going through the motions each day.  I have with my son the opposite would be true. I would be dishonoring him, our relationship, the bond and love we My dad was right, I would find a new purpose. My purpose have, if I chose to crawl into a ball, hide in a dark room, and was Brian when he was alive.  My purpose now, funny let what is the remainder of my life pass me by. Our love enough, is still Brian. The greatest lesson that I learned was is too deep for me to allow that to happen. The first day I that I may not be a mom in the typical sense as I was before laughed after Brian’s passing was the day I realized there when Brian was here, but I definitely have not stopped was HOPE.  mothering Brian in the spiritual sense. Death could not change that. Through me, he lives on…through all that I do I have learned so much about myself, about death and for Brian in his name, memory and honor. This makes me a about love. Prior to that horrible day, I had thought I knew mom. It makes me Brian’s mom.   all I needed to know about life, love, relationships and heartbreak. I was wrong. The funny thing about death is Because I am Brian’s mom I choose to embrace the that it really does not tear two people apart. It never wins.  laughing, the smiles and the joy. Here I am, 28 months later, living this life without Brian Today, like every day, I choose to #doitforbrian. physically here with me. For 28 months I have taken deep Lisa Heath is a resident of Fayetteville, North Carolina. She is a mom breathes holding onto the strength he left behind for me. to Brian who resides in heaven after losing his life in a car accident. She When people ask me how have I made it this long, how continues to bring teen awareness of distracted driving to her community have I been able to still be moving forward without Brian, as well as keeping Brian’s memory alive through scholarships in Brian’s my answer is simple…...I don’t know. I know that isn’t the name, volunteer work, her writing and through her leadership of Finding answer they want to hear, but it is the most honest one. Light through Darkness which is a group she created that helps other grieving parents. We Need Not Walk Alone|1 5

The late Darcie Sims wrote hundreds of articles over the years on grief and loss which have been extremely popular and shared in hundreds of TCF publications. We Need Not Walk Alone is proud to honor her by featuring selections of her work in a column titled “The Wisdom of Darcie Sims.” The Wisdom of Darcie Sims A Breath of Summer – Anytime It’s summer and the air is warm upon my face. The sunlight my eyes, all I can see is blackness. Will I forever be running dances across the grass, casting tiny shadows of the dandelions away from pain and emptiness? that wave in the afternoon breeze. It’s nice here, sitting on the A storm gathers across the sky. The smell of rain comes on step, letting my mind wander, not really thinking of anything the wind and I know I must seek shelter, both from the rain much. It’s been a long time since I was able to just sit and and from the grief that washes across me, day after day. enjoy the gentle rhythms of a summer’s day. It cannot hurt this much forever! I cannot hide forever. I Do you remember summer? Summer, that wonderful cannot keep running away. I want to find summer again! reprieve from winter’s despair, was the season of innocence. And so, I must find a way back to the joy. As I dash to We ran through the meadows, without caring about the porch to seek safety from the rain, I know I must also tomorrow. We chased rainbows after storms and sang find some way to embrace the pain of this grief in order in the rain; chasing away whatever clouds appeared on to release it whenever I am ready. Perhaps I can start by our horizon. We picked berries and made lemonade and learning to breathe. When we are hurting or in a hurry or sugar cookies. Life was good and simple and gentle in the under great stress, we grab at the air, pulling it in as fast as summertime. we can. We swallow great gulps of air, inhaling and exhaling Why isn’t it now? Why now, does light hurt my eyes and the as quickly as possible. We never really quite fill our lungs sun sear my soul? Why now, do I see the crabgrass and the because we are gasping at the air. We are almost desperate weeds instead of making fairy wreaths of the dandelions? in our attempt to breathe. Why does the storm cloud come and stay and where did But here in the slowness of a summer’s rain, perhaps we can the rainbows go? Has my vision grown cloudy? Has grief learn to grow gentle in our breathing and in our despair, as permeated even the summertime place in my memory? well. Breathing isn’t a big step in the grief process, but it is Why can’t I remember the joy, the laughter, the games of the most important one! Without breathing, nothing else early evening and the recipe for popsicles? What happened works. And since we are breathing, we might as well enjoy to me? Did I forget the light because all I can remember is its healing capabilities. the darkness? Has grief stolen even the sunlight, leaving So, as you sit on the step, or lie down in the grass, begin to only shadows of sorrow? I didn’t know it would hurt this become aware of your breathing. Notice how and when you much in summer. take in air and how and when you release it. Do you grasp I used to be able to imagine fairy castles and ice cream at the air, grabbing at the air, trying to fill your lungs to mountains, guarded by purple dragons and yellow birds. capacity? Or do you merely “sip” at the air, allowing small All I can envision now is the emptiness. Even when I close amounts to slip past your lips? Perhaps breathing deeply 1 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

hurts in some way, causing muscle spasms or memories to hearing the waves wash across the sand. You might be flood across your mind... standing in a mountain meadow, surrounded with wild flowers, the sounds of a gentle mountain stream calling you Become aware of your breathing and try to orchestrate to rest. your breath. Bring air in through your nose, holding it for a count of 1-2-3 and then let it escape past your lips. Whatever picture comes to you as you spend a few Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. moments in reflective breathing, enjoy it completely. Smell Feel your breath and follow it as it flows through your the smells of your favorite place. Taste the tastes, hear the body. Breathe in through your nose, imagining the oxygen sounds of this magical moment. It is yours, deep within you, flowing through every cell in your body, bringing its healing a place of safety and calmness. energy to every corner of your self. Exhale through your lips, letting the used- You can find this quiet within any time you need to, just up air rise all the way by becoming aware of up from your toes; and Healing begins when feelings are your breathing, always send it out of your body, recognized, acknowledged, and released. breathing in through letting it escape through your nose and exhaling your mouth. through your mouth. As you become more You can even add sounds experienced in this to the breathing out, if breathing technique, you wish. Listen to your body and find the sounds that may you will find you can create any scene you wish, creating be hiding somewhere within you. You can find those sounds any landscape you find comforting. You can create a and let them go as you release your breath. Perhaps you summertime place anywhere, any time. You just have to find a groan or some anger that needs expressing. Perhaps breathe and imagine. it is a song or laughter that bubbles up and out. Whatever the sounds, let them come, as you allow your breath to be • Breathe in peace. Exhale tension. Let it flow out of you, released. imagining our summertime sun warming each part of your body. You may find tears coming as you practice this breathing technique. Let them come as well as any feelings that • Breathe in joy. Exhale sadness. Blow out the grief, if rise to your awareness. Healing begins when feelings are only for a single moment. Feel your heart becoming recognized, acknowledged, and released. As you continue to lighter, your pain growing less. breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, you might wish to close your eyes and let your mind begin • Breathe in love. Exhale grief. Let the light of your loved to drift. Grow quiet and find the rhythm of your body, one’s life fill you with memories, not just of summer breathing in a way that feels comfortable to you. time, but of every time you laughed and sang and danced and dreamed and loved. Perhaps you can imagine a warm light shining down on Make the commitment to grow quiet within and listen to the top of your head. It is just like sunlight dancing across the music of yourself. Take one small footstep each day. your forehead, warming your whole being. As you continue Make one small change each day. It only takes a moment breathing, imagine that sunlight moving down your body, to find the magic within. So, here in the warmth of drifting slowly across each part of your body. Imagine summertime, find the peace that is deep within you and let the sunlight caressing the back of your neck and your it bring comfort to yourself and others. Be gentle in your shoulders, easing away the tension that we often carry there. despair and trust the wisdom within. Imagine the sunlight flowing down your shoulders, your Find a new wholeness for yourself this summer. Find the elbows, across your chest. As the warmth of this summer balance of heart and mind that allow the memories to heal sun washes across your body, you can feel the tension rather than hurt. Come out of hiding in the summertime leaving. The cares of the winter drift down your legs and and let the breath of summer begin to heal the hurts. leave through your toes. You feel lighter, softer, calmer. Breathe in love and find the memories and the magic of As you begin to feel more at peace, let your imagination those who have loved us. Love is the magic that heals us all. create a “safe place” for you. Find a summertime memory that brings feelings of warmth, safety, and pleasure to you. You might find yourself on the beach, feeling, seeing, We Need Not Walk Alone|1 7

How Many Children Do You Have? by Kelly Kittel ©MNStudio / stock.adobe.com “Let’s pretend we’re at a cocktail party. It’s 5 o’clock my red cowboy boots carrying a glass of chilled chardonnay. somewhere, right? I figured my “prop” might come in handy and it definitely We’re meeting for the first time and getting to know each improved the rehearsals! other. We’ve learned that we’re both parents, so one of the How many kids do I have? As I continued, “And I’ll give you very first questions you’ll probably ask me is, “How many this quick answer—five. The conversation will move on, most kids do you have?” likely with me telling you all about my five children and you Thus begins my TEDx talk, “Why We Should Share Our telling me all about yours. We’ll smile and sip our wine and Stories”. But it has also been the story of my life for the past you’ll never know that your simple question has just kicked two decades since our fourth child, Noah, died when he was me in the belly. Or that I feel like I’ve just lied to you.” 15 months old. In the beginning, this question struck me I do believe lying is a sin but, as I justify my public silent with grief and it became even more gut wrenching confession, “Because, I rarely give the correct answer to that when people would coo it over and over again as my belly question. Usually, I sidestep it. I don’t want to watch your face grew with the promise of our next bundle of joy. Nine crumple or hear you say, “I’m so sorry,” like so many, many months later, it would bring me to my knees, the answer others before you. I like to have fun and I want to keep things completely inconceivable when Jonah was stillborn. lighthearted. But every time I do that? I feel guilty. Because So when the opportunity to present a TEDx talk arose, I do believe we should share our stories. Maybe not while this seemed like a good place to begin. TED stands for standing in the grocery store checkout line or with a glass of Technology, Entertainment, Design and their tagline—ideas wine in our hand. But somewhere, sometime, someway... worth spreading—speaks for itself, their goal to cultivate Given that I’ve had 13 pregnancies remaindering 5 living and share ideas. I wanted people to understand why that children, it’s really more of a little white lie. I’ve become seemingly innocent question strikes fear in the hearts of quite adept at softening the blow when delivering my math bereaved parents. And I liked the idea of stepping onstage in equation in a diversity of settings and this was the idea I 1 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

wanted to share. I also wanted to impart that every year, 1:4 There’s a passage in my book where I write that it’s my pregnancies end in miscarriage and 26K babies are stillborn terrible misfortune to be able to compare losing Noah, a yet we rarely talk about them. Stillbirth and miscarriage are largely taboo subjects, not mentioned at cocktail parties toddler who was learning to walk and talk and was loved over glasses of wine and I’ve had to bite my tongue more times than I care to count. It’s time to shatter the silence. by so many, with losing Jonah, a baby inside my belly and mostly only known by me. And I share how people have actually asked me, “Which was harder, losing Noah or They say there’s no But because I shared their stories, losing Jonah?” To which greater agony than readers now know that they also lived I replied: “Which would bearing an untold story you miss more, your inside of you and for right arm or your left?” me this was that story. That passage stuck in Miss Pam’s mind where and they’ve become manifest. That is theAs an author, I share it grew into a dance in power of sharing our stories!best by writing but I which half the dancers can only move their arms and the other half their legs. certainly never dreamed This limitation is removed only during a brief pas de deux that life would place this danced by Bella and my niece, Ava, who represent Noah particular tale in my hands. Eventually, I gave birth to my and Jonah. Miss Pam and these girls have transformed the book, Breathe, both to tell the story of my sons and to help story of my sons and of my life into art by dancing some of other people. This is the first reason I give in my TEDx talk the answers I don’t always share at cocktail parties. But, as as to why we should share our stories—to help each other. most bereaved parents know, we’ve already done the hardest When Noah died, I searched, desperately, for other bereaved thing—burying our children. After that, the answers to parents. In those days before social media, I called them. I wrote letters to them. I accosted them in person. And I’m sure some of them thought I was crazy. Because I was. I was crazy with grief. And I was crazy with pain. And when every question and the challenges life places in our paths you’re in pain, all you can think of is getting out of pain. So should all be easy. I searched for survivors because I needed to know that the pain I was in wouldn’t last forever. I needed them to tell me When your baby dies, you wonder so many, many things that I was going to survive the unbearable agony I was in. including how you can possibly get through that next painful breath, never mind the rest of your life. Your life without Another reason we should share our stories is to keep our your son, and then without your next son, stretches infinitely loved ones alive. My family marks our gravestones with on beyond you. You ask all the terrible questions for which this saying: To live in the hearts of those we leave behind there will never be any earthly answers. The why’s and the is not to die. As long as we walk this earth, our loved ones why not’s, the why me’s and the what if ’s. And somehow, you will never truly be dead because we are holding them in our hearts. Before I wrote my book, the only thing people really resign yourself to living without understanding. knew about Noah and Jonah was that they’d died. That was the most definitive characteristic of their short, little lives. But to sit in a darkened theater and watch Noah and Jonah’s But because I shared their stories, readers now know that baby sister dancing their story on stage almost two decades after their deaths? they also lived and they’ve become manifest. That is the Well, you think, this? Maybe this. power of sharing our stories! Breathe was published a few years ago and after reading it, Kelly Kittel is the author of Breathe, a Memoir of Motherhood, Grief, my thirteenth child, Bella’s dance teacher asked me to write and Family Conflict, and has been published in many magazines and my story as a dance. And this is the final reason I cite for anthologies, including Three Minus One: Stories of Parents’ Loss and why we should share our stories—because you can never Love. She speaks about grief and loss and presents annually at TCF conferences. Her TEDx talk can be viewed at: https://www.youtube.com/ foresee how your story will impact others. Or where that watch?v=l1oA3w7JcTg and her website is www.kellykittel.com path will lead as you move forward. And it might just be someplace that’s so amazing you can’t even imagine it! We Need Not Walk Alone|1 9

© kichigin19/ stock.adobe.com In-laws: They Just Don’t Understand by Gloria Horsley found that 65% of the respondents had in-law problems and the majority of those problems were between female family Alan Pedersen, Executive Director of The Compassionate members. So it is consistent with that study; that in-law Friends, recently shared a post on his Facebook page about problems would emerge when family members are dealing a call he received from a bereaved mom. Her son had died with the death of a loved one. of an accidental drug overdose, and she was upset that her brother refused to go to a 2-year anniversary balloon Why Forgive In-laws? release because he felt she was, “dwelling too much in the past”. In his post, Alan asked his Facebook Friends to offer You might be saying to yourself, “I don’t like the way my comments if they had heard of similar experiences. Most in-laws treat me; why should I care if I don’t get along of the responses from family members showed empathy with them?” Well, if for no other reason, you all love the and understanding, but those from non-family members, same people. The biological bond is strong and we love our especially in-laws, were not as forgiving. It seemed to grandchildren, siblings and children. Also, you are the role provide an opportunity to air past in-law grievances. One model for how your children will treat you when you are person wrote, “I lost my son and my new sister-in-law who an in-law. If your behavior toward your in-laws includes had not met my son, said that it had been three months holding grudges, rejection or outright distaste, you are since his death and I should get over it.” Another person showing your family that this behavior is tolerated. On the wrote, “At our son’s funeral my mother-in-law tried to take other hand, if you are willing to forgive and show respect over and pulled my husband, her son, into her car rather toward them, even though this may be difficult, it may well than letting him ride with me.” These responses were not be rewarded in kind. In short, if you treat your in-laws surprising. In a study of family issues I did a few years ago, I 2 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

badly, or shut them out or ignore them, you risk passing of what is already happening, so you are just stating the that toxic behavior onto the next generation. obvious. If that doesn’t work, find another family member, friend, therapist or religious counselor with whom you can Things to Remember About In-laws discuss the issue. Telling your story to three separate people and getting their feedback can give you fresh perspective on Respect Personality Differences: Remember not in-law issues. everyone thinks the way you do. There are personality types that affect how we deal with loss. Many people know about In Conclusion the Myers-Briggs test, best known for categorizing people into introvert or extrovert along with other personality We have all had problems with family members at one time traits. I also like the Enneagram that gives nine personality or another and are especially venerable to disagreements types and categorizes people into heart-based, body-based during times of stress. However, in the end they are the ones and head-based. The point is that friends, family and in- you can most likely count on for support. So, today take a laws may not be out to hurt you, but may be operating from fresh look at the situation and open your heart to let in even a totally different worldview. Your rules of good conduct those in-laws who have given you the most trouble. may not even be on their radar screen. God Bless, Respect Gender Differences: Women produce hormones that tend to make them more prone to emotions. Dr. Gloria Horsley They tend to grieve using face-to-face interactions, while men tend to grieve shoulder to shoulder by doing Open to Hope West Coast something active. Your male in-laws might paint the fence 1385 Dana Avenue or mow the lawn while your female in-laws may be more Palo Alto, California, 94301 responsive to sitting down for a good chat. [email protected] 415-994-8263 Forgiveness: In-law grief grudges are a waste of time and energy. Drop those old stories, or talk it out with a therapist Open to Hope East Coast or at The Compassionate Friends meetings. Many people 125 West 72nd Street Suite 6F find that journaling is also a helpful way to relieve tension. New York, New York, 10023 Be a Positive Role Model: Remember what goes around comes around. Be the change you want to see. www.opentohope.com Take a Care Break: If you have been over giving to Dr. Gloria Horsley, MFC, your in-laws, stop; and if you have been under giving, try CNS, PhD, is the founder and reaching out. president of the Open to Hope Foundation an internationally Ask For Help: If you are having in-law problems, ask your known grief expert, a partner to intercede as being a biological family member psychotherapist, and bereaved gives them the most power. If it is a mother or sister-in-law parent. Gloria cohosts the problem, simply ask your husband/partner to take them Internet radio show Open to aside and say, “I know you are having problems with my Hope, at www.opentohope. wife; if you don’t work on getting along, I will not be able com, and has authored a to see as much of you”. The reality is that this is a reflection number of books and articles. We Need Not Walk Alone|2 1

© nikkytok / stock.adobe.com The Downstairs Thief by Elizabeth Brady I had a vivid dream shortly after Mack, our son, died. I walked into our house through the front door and im- mediately recognized that we had been robbed. I made my way tentatively through each familiar room survey- ing overturned furniture, shattered lamps; I noted the computers were taken and the silver. But, something inside assured me that they didn’t make it upstairs. On New Year’s Eve 2012, we cancelled our plans to meet another family at the First Night celebrations because Mack had what we thought was the flu and we were looking forward to a quiet evening by the fire. We did not know, and we will never know, what or how an infec- tion entered the blood stream of our athletic, vibrant, almost 9-year-old son and it stole his life in a matter of hours. I had never heard of “sepsis” before Mack died and did not know that it is a silent killer who arrives, like a thief. When I had this dream it seemed obvious to me that we had been robbed of a beautiful person in our lives and the joy of watching Mack grow and continue to achieve 2 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

his dreams. But, it wasn’t until later, as I began to learn to “My Romeo,” I said to him and kissed him, bathed him, and live with the loss of Mack, that I came to appreciate that the dressed him in his favorite D.C. United sweatshirt, a daily thieves did not make it upstairs. act that now seems sacred. Our upstairs is intimate. In our home built in the 1970’s, the But, I have come to appreciate over these past four years four bedrooms are separated by a narrow carpeted hallway that death doesn’t rob us of everything. There are some down the middle, making it cozy and warmer than the rest areas of ourselves that are untouchable even to death. of the house. The upstairs of life remains. My love for our children, our My husband travelled frequently so often the kids and I most intimate moments of care: bath, bedtime stories and would head upstairs early and take our showers, put our prayers; nights of sickness, hurtful days, hiding treats under jammies on, and snuggle together in our big king-size bed their pillows, sneaking in to watch them when they sleep… to read and watch “The Voice” when it was in season. these remain. It is an intoxicating feeling and one that I can close my eyes None of these were robbed by death; in fact, they have come and recall with ease: my arms around each of them, their into sharp relief as unreachable treasure that are not within heads resting on my shoulders, Mack’s hair tickling my death’s grasp. Love is truly stronger than death, and this nose, Izzy smelling like baby powder, so safe and warm and awareness has empowered me. peaceful. Death is a downstairs thief. In that afternoon of New Year’s Eve 2012, I scooped Mack up in my arms and carried him upstairs for a bath before Elizabeth and her family honored one of Mack’s dreams by establishing the his Dad took him to the doctor’s office. Mack Brady Soccer Fund to train and recruit the best goalkeepers to Penn State men’s soccer. Elizabeth teaches at Penn State and her essays on learning to live with loss can also be found on opentohope.com and modernloss.com. How I Found Hope ... © Galyna Andrushko/fotolia.com In the very beginning, Hope felt like an ugly, evil, impossible word that tormented me. But I opened my heart to realizing that my daughter, Robyn April, didn’t END; that my love for her continues to grow, just as her love for me infinitely grows. Love became much More Powerful and Stronger than The Pain. Through that Everlasting Shared Love, I was able to create light in the darkness and, from despair; Beauty, Goodness, and even Hope. Bettie-Jeanne Rivard-Darby, Forever Robbie’s mom TCF East of the River CT Chapter Leader Manchester, CT We Need Not Walk Alone|2 3

© ollirg / stock.adobe.com That One Person Who Doesn’t Rationalize or Deny Our Grief by Bob Baugher, PhD Since your child or sibling or grandchild died have you some reason for existing. In the midst of its discomfort, noticed that people seem to say a lot of things that lead you pain and confusion, our brain does whatever it can to to say to yourself, “What was she thinking?” or “Where did reduce it. As a result, the brain quickly invokes phrases such that come from?” You’ve probably wondered why people as, “It was God’s will.” “Everything happens for a reason.” would say things to you that make no sense and, in some Or “God needed another angel.” Upon uttering such words, cases, proved to be hurtful. Well, the answer lies deep in the brain concludes, “Yes, that’ll help make sense of this that three-pound organ—the brain. On one hand, our brain tragedy.” And, here’s an added bonus for the brain: it will can solve complex problems, invent new things, and create also reduce some discomfort. So, with one phrase the brain wondrous works of art. However, in responding to people has dealt with its two major functions: reducing pain and and events, our brain is sometimes quite simple in the way making sense of the world. it works. Think of your brain as having two major functions: (a) to reduce pain and (b) to make sense out of the world In response to the grief of another person, the brain around it. A lot of what we do each day stems from these finds a way to soothe itself by what psychologists call Ego two functions. When we’re uncomfortable, hurt or when Defense Mechanisms. They serve the dual brain function someone offends us, what does our brain do? It cries out to by simultaneously reducing pain and making sense of a stop the pain. When we encounter physical or emotional situation. Let’s look at two of the more popular Defense distress, our brain insists, “Stop this discomfort and stop Mechanisms and how they figure into the unhelpful things it now!” The death of a child is not only painful, it makes people say to us in the midst of our grief. no sense. When people hear of this tragedy, their brains may attempt to come to the rescue by finding something— Rationalization—the queen of Defense Mechanisms. Why? anything—that will give this horrible event some meaning, Because people use it all the time in an attempt to feel better. Its function involves the use of false excuses for one’s 2 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

behavior. When a person is confronted with the question, brave enough to fight against their own brains. Of course, when you were face-to-face with a person in grief, why in this is asking a lot. tabtbhtptbtathhhhhhscyrreekeeeeeaationriltiyeiooppwrrengdbenswmliaoe,csutbusc.icr“”tiby)kplutlnuWl.dibAnrrodehpleaorhdeniriwt?enwssoeisidoUgintysut(ebnoohoynphcsenauo,rptittil’mis“utisnetlgeOz,hanoeroi“wken,htanfWtiimfg,hi-rnenIaergegtld?alw,i”dcIiRltnwibh’actahtWrywistéooah,aonbuntniharhaytnllfeyiettrzosritanfeartwminytimnioidoapnni,kndglwaeeaaltiglohyhoinazygipihimnndgaeilgolcvfetpenoast.e”e’mntehloWsybemtwmeosahhueadteropienrsttohhtfiooacpHtnhtlferitoachcrgewrtmhr,oi—éieiyisnmsvbto,teuetlarthdar,enereydlnyiaometfojeuyuugovicsdkttehtesonthaltdnoihcnsowirtygfteenyeon,s,dosudgermtdrifoedo—h.femrnseToe’eethcvnliiteeeuenrrsry.geweSstphoooeomfmohbpewdwocfttaalolihhaekreogsahneenaeubldgobrek’kctreeiaoenetehkw“cvnciddefbanaesahiesluexeuaossluotteswousithssaentleemitne”ihwgmrts;ttt,dheoehhshvyoioepoledateaofaynoeytmfreture;eytstlthroehhpepohwetaoaooeaauhdvrhntykipriehnrnnoete,,og Denial—The amount meaning, some reason for existing. how to help. These rare of pain you have people are precious experienced since the humans who have death of your precious been able to do what loved one is immeasurable. The people around you can few have dared to do—they have stayed with you through only imagine how much you hurt on a moment-to- your painful journey. Despite the fact that their brain has moment basis. Their brain will not permit them to even been pleading to reduce their pain and your pain, they truly attempt to imagine how excruciating the pain has resisted the strong temptation to use Defense Mechanisms. been. Instead they will look for clues that suggest your When was the last time you really thanked this special pain isn’t “that bad anymore.” For example, when they see person for all the many little acts of kindness they have you laugh, they may convince themselves that things are done for you? It doesn’t have to be a gift, or money, or a getting better—that the old you is coming back. As the big kiss (but it could be). As you finish reading this article, weeks turn into months and then into years, the person ask yourself, “What little thing can I do for this wonderful may deny that the pain of the loss can, in an instant, still person to convey how thankful I am?” Death has taught return with a vengeance. They may find it hard to believe you that you don’t have forever, that tomorrow is not that, even years later, your heart skips a beat when you guaranteed, and that people we care for can be taken from suddenly see a similar-looking person. Because these us in an instant. So, don’t wait. Call, email, text, mail a folks are not living your nightmare (not that you would card, or personally deliver a note. want them to), they don’t understand how crazy grief can be. Because they’ve not walked your path nor lived your And when you do it, you can rest assured of one thing: story, they cannot understand that grief is not a “getting-a- your brain will thank you for it. little-better-each- day” voyage but instead a roller coaster journey of ups, mostly downs, with dark tunnels and out- Dr. Bob Baugher is a Psychology Instructor at Highline College in Des Moines, Washington where he teaches courses in Psychology and Death of-control feelings. Education. As a trainer for LivingWorks he has trained more than 1,000 That One Amazing Person—The people around you may be people in suicide intervention. Dr. Baugher has written several books and well-meaning, caring individuals. Unfortunately, as we’ve articles on grief and loss. He has been invited to give workshops at TCF seen for many of them, their brains get in the way of really National Conferences for the past 20 years and has been the professional helping. What we need is something that will convince adviser to parents and siblings of the South King County (Seattle) Chapter people who claim they wish to help us to stay with their of The Compassionate Friends for 30 years. own pain, to not be tempted to make sense out of a senseless situation. What we need are people who would be We Need Not Walk Alone|2 5

© Romolo Tavani/fotolia.com Sibling Chivalry in Grief by Mitch Carmody My 9-year-old son Kelly James died of cancer Honesty and transparency in 1987. That event changed my life forever, but many do not know of the other familial make you vulnerable. losses that preceded his. It seems life is a puzzle in progress; our losses and gains that we piece Be honest and together through a lifetime ultimately forms our transparent anyway. destiny. We have cognitive choices that influence - Mother Teresa that destiny, but as children, for the most part, those choices are made for us. We grieve by In 1969, my father died when proxy through our parents and subjugated by I was only 15 years old. My societal influence to the extent that we may even mother’s words of wisdom to marginalize our own pain. You are young; you are © Mitch Carmody, me were: dead is dead; buck resilient; kids bounce back. Mother Theresa, pencil It is indeed true that countless children have up and get on with your life; you are the man of survived unimaginable horrors and have grown the family now; you need to take care of the farm to become a remarkable force in the world. They and your sisters. I guess it was the chivalrous thing have proved to be highly resilient individuals. to do…and expected. I tucked my grief away, Resiliency can only be obtained through a state manned up and took on my new role as the alpha of vulnerability; innocence to the unknown; of the family. The youngest of seven, my older sibs an innocence that can be transformational; for were married and out of the house; it was just my better or for worse it’s the risk and worth of twin sister and my 18-year-old sister at home. I vulnerability; it’s about being all in. It’s about took on the role of the man of the family; I did not taking emotional risks. cry, I did not grieve. 2 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone In 1984, my twin sister, at age 29, was killed with her two young sons in an auto accident. It rocked my family and sibs, but my mother reacted the same way, “What is done is done son. We have to

put it behind us”. I struggled to bury my grief away, and then emotions of grief roiling beneath the surface is further less than two years later my son was diagnosed with cancer. I fueled by the stress hormone cortisol to maintain this had to fight the fight to save my son and put my sibling grief gallant behavior. Chivalry is an act of heroism, but long- on hold for a long, long time; I was getting good at it. term healing does not come from bravado but from resiliency, vulnerability, authenticity and an openness to So many times the losses of children are marginalized. share. Nosce Te Ipsum (know yourself). Be yourself, not a Whether they lose a parent or a sibling they are expected victim of circumstance. Listen not to the imposed mores of to get over it quickly and encouraged to be strong. If under society but to the dictates of your own heart. five years old, their grief is hardly addressed; after that they are encouraged by society to move on. Many siblings Whatever your loss may be, there is no putting it behind marginalize their own you. You coexist with loss and bury their it. It is now part of the emotions to be strong Express your pain, yield to your heart fabric of your destiny. for mom and dad and and not to your head. If you are a sibling who other siblings. We learn has experienced the at an early age to hide death of your brother/ our feelings and/or sister at any age, compensate for a family loss and make everyone happy. It recognize it, take it out of the closet; talk about the journey may take years before we fully process our losses. We may with pride, not shame, bitterness or embarrassment. Express still harbor resentment for having to put our life on hold your pain, yield to your heart and not to your head. and being forced to grow up so fast. Remember your parents are changed forever and may still Conversely, we may enjoy the new family dynamics be falling apart inside, forgive them their shortcomings; of having less sibling rivalry in our daily life. We may they are bereaved parents. Bring your sibling back to the experience a positive personal transformation of personal dinner table; keep them in your life and in the conversation growth and expanded horizons. We may benefit from the with your parents, sibs, and your friends. Dead is not gone loss and now get the big bedroom, more attention and sit and we do not have to let go; we do not get over loss, we in the front seat of the car. The caveat with this, although, is learn to live with it, it is part of us. Knowing that, not only that we may experience guilt for feeling good, or benefitting can we survive, we can one day thrive. from our sibling’s death in some way. To add insult to injury, we may have experience anxiety with our own Find other bereaved siblings that are close to your own age trepidation of not being able to fill our sibling’s shoes. Too and/or have similar losses that can validate your feelings high of expectations of our own and from others can yield about what you are experiencing. Talk to older adults who resentment, anger and fear. Be honest with family, be honest are seasoned bereaved siblings and enlist their advice. Leave with yourself, and be honest with your expectations. Be chivalry to the knights in shining armor, process your loss your authentic self. Use your strengths. Ask for help. without false bravado. Put chivalry to bed. It’s a bedtime story. Strive to be vulnerable to all the ramifications of your We have choices on our path to survival; chivalry may be loss. That is resiliency that is taking control of your life; that one of them. is surviving; that is honoring your sibling with your life. Turn your loss to legacy not, with chivalry but authenticity. Process Chivalry: The combination of qualities expected of an ideal your grief openly without compunction through a lens of self knight, especially courage, honor, justice, and a readiness to compassion. Be yourself. Be good to yourself. Be here now. help the weak. Although the word chivalry has fallen out of use in today’s Peace, love n light vernacular, the mechanism by which it operates (false Mitch Carmody (Kelly’s dad) GSP, CCP is a long time TCF presenter and bravado) is still intact and often use as a coping skill. It’s author of Letters To My Son, turning loss to legacy. He is the creator of not just a man thing either, but practiced by women and Proactive Grieving® seminars that features the S.T.A.I.R.S.™ model of grief children as well. It’s not a bad thing, it can be a courageous processing. Mitch is the host of his own radio show “Grief Chat” and created thing and it has its own merits; the knight in shining the YouTube channel MrHeartlight which supports grievers around the armor to save the day. Just be mindful when you are doing world. He uses an organic holistic approach in processing grief with a focus it. Chivalry may appear noble and gallant on the outside, on balancing the mind, body, soul, and spirit to reduce anxiety and build as in keeping the English stiff upper lip, but unexpressed resilience when challenged with trauma and loss. We Need Not Walk Alone|2 7

Dear Dr. Heidi, © Ryan Tang Photo LLC/fotolia.com My sister died five years ago and it’s been very difficult on the entire family. I don’t think my parents are aware of how hard it’s been for me. My Mom gets annoyed because I don’t talk about the loss. To be honest, the reason I don’t discuss it with her is because when I do she becomes more upset than I am. My parents have pictures of my sister all over our house, and posts memories and pictures of her constantly on Facebook. It bothers me that they have so few posts about me; in fact, I think that most of their friends in TCF probably don’t even know I exist. I often feel invisible and that hurts. Please don’t ask me to talk with my parents about this; they would become very defensive and I would just end up feeling even more unheard and alone. Sincerely, Forgotten Sibling Dear Forgotten Sibling, My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately, this is a common issue that many bereaved siblings face. I am sure that most of the siblings reading this right now can relate to what you have written. Whenever I present, I remind parents that a sibling loss is extremely difficult and remind them to remember their surviving children also. When giving a family toast, or sharing a story during the holidays, it is important to include all family members, not just those who have died. It is also important to have framed photos of your living children around the house, and post their pictures periodically on Facebook. Sometimes homes are turned into shrines, where there is no place for surviving siblings to take a break from their grief. It can be very overwhelming, especially when siblings are doing homework or studying for exams. Surviving siblings tell me that they enjoy looking at pictures and hearing memories about their deceased sibling, as long as their parents don’t overdo it and they aren’t overlooked. The more that we can give voice to the sibling experience, the more we will educate the world about the impact of a sibling death. Even though we may not always look like we’re grieving, the wounds within us run deep. Our brothers and sisters were an important part of our lives, and even though they are no longer with us, they remain forever in our memories and will always be a significant part of our lives. I would also suggest that your parents listen to the Sibling Loss Webinars on the TCF website and the Open to Hope Sibling Loss Shows, where they can get a better understanding of sibling grief and can hear first hand from the siblings. Dr. Heidi Horsley, PsyD, is a bereaved sibling as well as a psychologist. She is the executive director of the Open to Hope Foundation, cohost of the Open to Hope radio program, www.opentohope.com, an adjunct professor at Columbia University, and a national board member of The Compassionate Friends. She will be answering your questins related to loss, grief, and recovery for siblings. Please send your question to: Dr. Heidi Horsley, c/o The Compassionate Friends, PO Box 3696, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696. How I Found Hope ... I was lost, hurt, sad, angry, and hurting without my sons,  I was so alone, but attending TCF meetings has given me hope.  It gave me back my sons and it’s made me strong enough to help others.  I might have lost my two, but I have gained 100’s, all because of this wonderful organization. John R. Mitchell, TCF-Manhattan Chapter 2 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Connect with Other Bereaved Parents, Grandparents, and Siblings Everyday on TCF’s Online Support Community The Compassionate Friends offers “virtual Chapters” through an Online Support Community (live chats). This program was established to encourage connecting and sharing among parents, grandparents, and siblings (over the age of 18) grieving the death of a child. The rooms supply support, encouragement, and friendship. The friendly atmosphere encourages conversation among friends; friends who understand the emotions you’re experiencing. There are general bereavement sessions as well as more specific sessions: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 9:00 - 10:00 AM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 8:00 - 9:00 PM EST Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Bereaved Less than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings No Surviving Children 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Bereaved More than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings 10:00 - 11:00 PM EST Bereaved Siblings Friday Saturday Sunday 10:00 - 11:00 AM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 2:00 - 3:00 PM EST (open Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Parents/Grandparents/Siblings depending on moderator availability) 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 10:00 - 11:00 PM EST Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Pregnancy/Infant Loss Parents/Grandparents/Siblings 8:00 - 9:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:30 PM EST Survivors of Suicide ©Arndt Vladimir/fotolia.com Parents/Grandparents/Siblings 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Visit www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/online-communities/online-support/ for more information and to register. How I Found Hope ... © kesipun/fotolia.com Truly, the only hope I had early on came from one extraordinary sign I received from Scott, my beloved only child who died suddenly at 19. The day after his funeral, in that fog of devastation and the unknown world I was thrust into, a beautiful sign came. It was a spiritual connection I had no idea was possible. Ongoing signs and communication from Scott opened me up our deep new relationship. Sara Ruble, Scott’s Mom, Stow, OH We Need Not Walk Alone|2 9

Worldwide Candle Lighting Waukesha County Chapter Join us on December 10, 2017 Greater Providence Area Chapter Miami Chapter Shoreline Chapter 3 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

TCF Frederick MD Chapter Livonia Chapter TCF Mid-Peninsula Chapter TCF of Saipan Upper Cape Chapter TCF of The Woodlands, TX We Need Not Walk Alone|3 1

An Update from the Director of Chapter Services by Terry Novy TCF now offers 24 closed Facebook pages that offer multiple layers of support to grieving families. To know For 40-plus years, The Compassionate Friends (TCF) has that practically 24 hours a day, 7 days a week there is supported families grieving the death of a child, grandchild someone reaching out to you with kindness, understanding, and siblings. This is accomplished by TCF Chapters that friendship and hope is priceless. To find the complete list offer a warm and inclusive environment each month where of closed Facebook pages visit: www.compassionatefriends. their members can share. This wonderful group of moms, org/find-support/online-communities/private-facebook- dads, grandparents and adult siblings that have “been there” groups/. know how you feel and are ready to walk beside you as you travel your grief journey The same can be said of The Compassionate Friends The Leadership Facebook page is an awesome opportunity Regional Coordinator Team. They too are bereaved parents, to meet other members of chapter leadership, ask questions grandparents and adult siblings that have experience at the or simply learn from posts that others have shared. There is local Chapter level and now are ready to assist the Chapters constant communication between the National Office and in their area. The Team consists of 62 members that cover members of Chapter leadership. Many of the posts spark 46 states and Washington DC. The states that we currently some interesting conversations but the common thread is to need help in are Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Montana, North help one another. and South Dakota and Utah. I also hope to bring in Co- Regional Coordinators to work with our existing Regional The Regional Coordinator also have a closed Facebook page Coordinator in Central and Southern California, Colorado, where the National Office can communicate with the RC Connecticut, Northern Georgia, Mississippi, New Jersey Team. This is also a chance to share any concerns, thoughts and Tennessee. The Regional Coordinators (RC’s) offer their and ideas with their fellow Regional Coordinators. I would time and experience in visiting Chapters as a guest speaker. like to offer TCF Regional Coordinators the opportunity for They present Chapter Leadership Training Programs to a closed sharing session; too often they are busy supporting educate and train members of chapter leadership to help all the Chapters in their territory and forget that they too them better serve their members. If there are Chapter need support. concerns or if they simply need to hear a friendly voice, their Regional Coordinator is standing by ready to offer The Chapter Leadership E-Newsletter is emailed twice a support. month; we currently have over 3,000 subscribers. Each issue focuses on supporting TCF’s Chapter leadership. 3 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

The articles emphasize how to recruit steering committee gives the attendees an opportunity to choose from three members, how to plan a special program and various different workshops at each workshop session. We are resources and tips to assist TCF Chapter leadership. Our pleased to announce that there are several new workshops goal is to help educate and have helpful resources to support we are offering as well as a new twist on some of the TCF Chapters. original training workshops. The program starts at 9:00 am and concludes at 3:30 pm. A special Leadership award TCF 40th National Conference July 28-30, 2017 in Orlando, and recognition luncheon is included in the program. All FL, “Rays of Sunshine, Oceans of Hope” is the theme of attendees must be preregistered, no on site registrations. this year’s event. The National Office is excited to offer over 100 workshops and many special programs. In addition, This is my 21st year with The Compassionate Friends; I we are presenting a one day Chapter Leadership Training love this organization and I am committed to the mission, Program on Thursday, July 27th. The National Office will the vision statement and to help the families that need our present a new Chapter Leadership Training Program which support. See you in Orlando! Welcome New TCF Chapters: Welcome Newly Reorganized TCF Chapters: #2493 TCF of East Central Ohio ~ Zanesville, OH Chartered ~ November 17, 2016 #2433 TCF of Summerville ~ Summerville, SC Reorganized ~ September 2, 2016 #2494 TCF of Humacao ~ Humacao, PR Chartered ~ November 30, 2016 #1096 TCF of Buffalo ~ Buffalo, NY Reorganized ~ February 14, 2017 #2495 TCF of the Bath Area Chapter ~ Bath, NY Chartered ~ January 4, 2017 #1208 TCF of Central Texas ~ Waco, TX Reorganized ~ June 1, 2017 #2496 TCF of Dickson County ~ Dickson, TN Chartered ~ January 9, 2017 © Jeka84/fotolia.com #2497 TCF of Lee County ~ Fort Myers, FL Chartered ~ March 1, 2017 #2498 TCF of Central Milwaukee ~ Milwaukee, WI Chartered ~ March 14, 2017 #2499 TCF of Temple, Texas ~ Temple, TX Chartered ~ April 28, 2017 #2500 TCF of Ithaca, New York ~ Ithaca, NY Chartered ~ May 8, 2017 Our thanks to the following Chapters for their generosity (Gifts received between October 2, 2016 - April 30, 2017) Circle of Hope ($1,000-$2,499) Circle of Support ($200-$499) #1927 Okaloosa County Chapter #1158 Manhattan Chapter #1178 Contra Costa County Chapter in memory of their children, grandchildren in memory of all their children, in memory of all their children, and siblings grandchildren and siblings grandchildren and siblings gone too soon #2212 TCF Twin Forks/Hampton Chapter #1625 Redwood Falls Chapter in memory of all their children, #1569 Marietta Chapter in memory of their children, grandchildren grandchildren and siblings in memory of their children, grandchildren and siblings and siblings Circle of Caring ($500-$999) #1846 TCF of Babylon #1173 Arlington Chapter Circle of Friends ($50 - $199) in memory of their children, grandchildren in memory of all their children, #1566 Abington Chapter and siblings grandchildren and siblings in memory of their children, grandchildren #1308 TCF Fairfax Chapter and siblings #1353 Tuscaloosa Area Chapter all deceased children in memory of their children, grandchildren #2168 TCF of Frankfort Kentucky #1188 Central Middlesex Chapter and siblings in memory of their children, grandchildren in memory of their children, grandchildren and siblings and siblings #1850 Wolf Point Chapter in memory of their children, grandchildren and siblings We Need Not Walk Alone|3 3

With sincere gratitude and deep appreciation, we acknowledge the © believeinme33/fotolia.com generosity of the following individuals and organizations for their gifts to The Compassionate Friends. Your commitment and support are essential to fulfilling our mission. The following patron donations were received between October 2, 2016 - April 30, 2017. 3 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Simon Stephens Founder’s Harry and Cheryl Carney Circle of Support ($200-$499) Mary and Wayne Dietrich Circle ($10,000 +) in memory of (Princess) Kelsee Nicole in memory of Ashley Elizabeth Dietrich Corbitt Laila Abdel-Raouf Timothy Dillon Edrington Americas Jan and Jim Clark in memory of Kareem M. Elseify in memory of Ian Dillon in support of Dave Stock in memory of Andrew James Clark Joan and Stanford Alexander Rosemary Dooley Nationwide Kim and Katherine Coggins in memory of Eric Alexander, Roddy Cathi and Mark Duffy and Family in memory of Oliver Slocum and Josh Toomim, and Bobby Klein in memory of Frank J. Hooker, Jr. The President’s Circle ($5,000- Brian Donohue Donors from Amazonsmiles.com “Frankie” $9,999) in memory of Jack Donohue Jim Atkinson Barbara Dwyer DPYoung Textile Group, LLC in memory of Steve Fullen in memory of Sean Dolan Maguire Products Inc. in memory of Sean Young Elizabeth Barbera David Edelstein in memory of Kelly Lynch Art and Carol Ehde in memory of Jay Jay in memory of Brandon Edelstein Open To Hope in memory of Pamela Lais Sheree Barnes Kathy and Dennis Einck in memory of Scott Preston Horsley Mr. and Mrs. George Faulk in memory of Justin Barnes and Jamon in memory of Brad, Brenda and Brian Dave Stock in memory of John Elijah Faulk and Barnes Einck Colby Hewitt Faulk Bonnie and William Baron Daniel Einstein Circle of Love ($2,500-$4,999) Helen H. Ford in memory of Thomas Ward Baron in memory of Andrew Einstein in memory of Thomas Stewart Ford Angie and Joe Barton Faribault Public School District Office Firemen’s 5K Mark and Michele Fracasso in memory of Denver Daniel Parvin in memory of Syd Joseph Hanson in memory of Phillip Dean, Brian Collins, Sara and John Franco Georgia and Terry Blazevic Janice Feaga Fort Worth, TX children and siblings in memory of Tony Franco in memory of Bryce Blazevic in memory of Travis Feaga Donors from Independent Charities Barbara and Bob Fritz Deborah and Mario Boiardi Jessica and Buddy Feldkamp of America in memory of Eric in memory of Mario St. George Boiardi in memory of Chase Feldkamp Peggy and David Gibson Thelma and David Bold Lynne and Roger Foster Circle of Hope ($1,000-$2,499) in loving memory of Paige Gibson in memory of Dorothy Pisapia in memory of Mark Jason Foster Dorene Goryeb Heidi and Mike Brandon Kimberly Frank Dianne and Richard Ammons in memory of Gregg T. Goryeb and in memory of Hugh Brandon and Dave in honor of Betsy Milham in memory of Anne Ammons Meghan O’Malley Snepp Noam Frankel Joyce and Basil Andrews Jeff Hersh Robert and Diane Breyan in memory of Joey Giampino in memory of Rhonda L. Andrews and in memory of Ryan Christopher Hersh in memory of Eric Breyan Sue and Charley Freml Sue Snepp Gene Hill Mary and Jerry Brickner in memory of Chad Nicholas Freml Diane and Dan Barry in memory of Suzanne Snepp in memory of Matthew J. Brickner Mr. and Mrs. Casimiro Garcia in memory of Tiffanie Amber Collins The Katrina Tagget Memorial Bristol-Myers Squibb in memory of Johnny Garcia Ellen and Patrick Donlon Foundation in support of Wilbert Schmidt Ken and Robyn Garside in memory of Stephen Joseph Donlon in memory of Katrina “Kara” Tagget Gary Bukamier in memory of Kaity Fike Corporation Christopher and Lisa Kelley in memory of Casey, Blake, Sheila, and Luisa and Peter Gasiewski Scott Gerba in memory of Jeremy Michael Kelley Lisa Bukamier in memory of Bert Adam Gasiewski in memory of Bob and Mary Blanchard David Langer Lisa Cabe Holly and Ken Gawley Richard Ghilotti in memory of Sarah Elizabeth Langer Tom Cahill in memory of Blake Gawley in memory of Dino Richard Ghilotti Motta Jenny Lawing in memory of Anthony Longo Ann and Mike Gerdin Keith Goodrich in memory of Matt Lawing Jean and Wayne Campbell Give With Liberty in memory of Suzanne Snepp Kathy and Dennis Mallory in memory of Kyle Thomas Campbell Karen Goodman Nadezada Kavrus-Hoffmann and Erik in memory of Sue Snepp Suzanne Cassel David Gravelle Hoffmann Mama and Mommy in memory of Greg Cassel and Alex in memory of Jacob Gravelle in memory of Anders Hoffmann in memory of Keanna (Kiki) Li-Miller Baranowski Nationwide Insurance Davies NatCat Tom and Jahanna Knight Carina Mirands Richard and Dee Cervi Team Kay Turley and Roger Lavallee in memory of James Disbrow in memory of Kimberly Ann Moret in honor of Barbara Davies in memory of Paige Mackenzie Johnson Patricia, Will and Eric Moore Janet Chambers Carole and James Grissom Donors from Network for Good in memory of Kyle Moore, Justin in memory of Jennifer Chambers James in memory of Kate Grissom Pfizer Foundation Programs Quintos and Hunter Holben Sung and Scott Chen Alison Gustafson Jamie L. Pumpelly Olga L. Perry in memory of their son in memory of Rick Mirabile, MD in memory of Jamie Alexandra Grimsley in memory of Walter Howard Eleanor Lemann and David Cleveland Nancy Haldeman Phyllis, Larry and Greg Rosenthal Chattman, Jr in memory of Genevieve June Lemann in memory of Andrew G. Milne in memory of Scott Alan Rosenthal Amy and Bruce Ramsden Gordon Collins Margie and Hal Hankel Pam Stephenson in memory of Tate Ramsden in memory of Cynthia Lee Kessler in memory of Matt, Pat and Charlie in memory of T. Michael Stephenson David Scobel Cori Cooper Lin and Bob Helsel Esther Wender in memory of Audrey Felton in memory of Cassidy Linn Cooper in memory of John Finley Morris in memory of Daniel Robinson Mr. and Mrs. R.N Shaffer CT River Candles Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Hershey Seldon Whitaker in memory of Kelsey Ficks in memory of Jeffrey Whitehead in memory of Soren Chauncey Jensen in memory of Laura Richardson Whitaker Christine Sorbara Cudahy Veterinary Clinic Desiree and Joseph Irby in memory of John Sorbara in memory of Austen Shampo in memory of William James Irby Circle of Caring ($500-$999) The John Coggins III Foundation Jill Cunniff Ramona Jackson in memory of John Coggins, III Judi Curtis Robin Jens Irfan Ali Frances Wampler in memory of Jessica Allynne Curtis in memory of Ty Jens Janet and Jason Altman in memory of Mary Lee Hitch Judy David and Doug Leavens Barbara and Mickey Johnson in memory of Aaron John Altman Donna Wittmayer in memory of Andrew David Leavens in memory of Sandy Johnson Mohammad Arshad in memory of Scott Wittmayer Denise and Shawn Dean Marion and Manfred Bass in memory of Sean Daniel (continued on page 36) in memory of Glenn Bass Lynn and Mitch Baumeister We Need Not Walk Alone|3 5 in memory of Matthew Baumeister Danny and Libby Berry in memory of Shaun Berry and Luke Hilton and Benjamin Berry

(continued from page 35) Gary Parker Nancy and Ron White Roger and Maureen Anderson Barbara Parsons in memory of Keith C. White in memory of Melanie Anderson Patty and Mark Johnson in memory of Robert D. Parsons Willie and Darrell Wickman Sharon and Scott Anderson in memory of Matthew Wallis Johnson Liliana Plati in memory of Geoffrey Deemer in memory of Ashton Faye Anderson Michele and Steve Johnson in memory of her son Wickman William and Dawn Anderson in memory of Lindsay Marie Johnson Nora Politano Gwen and Don Wilson in memory of Rachael Anderson Kathy Kenst in memory of Kevin Politano in memory of Sarah Lynn Carmichael Linda Angelo in memory of Tyler Kenst Nancy Quinn Julie Wynne-Martin in memory of Melanie A. Gehm Virginia Kessinger in memory of Jimmy Winikates in memory of Eric Scott Russell Bill Angelos in memory of Clint Kessinger and Linda Ramga Shelly and Doug Young in memory of Anthony Longo Christian Cleveland in memory of Doug C. Ramga in memory of Zachary Douglas Young Anonymous Donor Ann M. Kimtantas Mike and Carol Ray Heather Zielinski Christian Anthony in memory of John Charles Kimtantas in memory of Joshua Michael Ray in memory of Kaitlynn Reid Smith in memory of Isidore Mayrock Bob Kirk Carol Raymond DeWever and Dylan Gatens Sandra Antrim in memory of Allison Kirk in memory of Geoffrey Rau and in memory of James Andrew Barry Kluger Phillip Rau Circle of Friends ($50-$199) Marge and Steve Anzalone in memory of Erica Kluger Diane Reed in memory of Jennifer Anzalone Carol and Larry Lamothe in memory of Joshua Reed Mike and Dixie Aarstad Mark Johnson and Anna Apanel in memory of Mark S. Lamothe Maureen and David Rich in memory of Krystal D. Aarstad in memory of Teresa A. Johnson Stephen Lane in memory of Mallory Rich Nita and Paul Aasen Jeff, Debbie, Katie, and Matthew Appell in memory of Amanda Lane Dennis Richman in memory of Erik Aasen and David in memory of Dale Dullabaun III Janaan Lapka in memory of his brother, sister, mother Aasen Cheryl Arauz in memory of Chelsea Marie Lapka and father Lynne and Leslie Abcug in memory of Marisa Rincon Stephen LaRock Leslie A. Rolison in memory of Jeremy Marc Abcug Roberta Archibald in memory of Jared LaRock in memory of Delaney Leigh Rolison Andrea Ackley in memory of Scott Seifert Arnold and Kristin Lee Karen and David Rosenthal in memory of Jacob Shafer Florence Arkans in memory of Scott Lee in memory of Rebekah and Everly Rose Erin Adams in memory of Rick Arkans Faye Levine Shirley Christie in memory of Victoria Ruth and Glenn Armes in memory of Marc David Levine Beth Roth Charlotte Addington in memory of Steven Glenn Armes Marie and Phil Levine in memory of Leonor Faymarie Roth in memory of Mary Shawn Addington Tarun and Marilyn Arora in memory of Peter Adam Levine Valerie and David Ruddle Valerie Ahmuty and Blair Collins in memory of Dhruv M. Arora Reva and John Lizzadro in memory of Jeosph Ruddle in memory of Shannon L. Collins Nicoletta Ascari in memory of James “Chris” Lizzadro Robert and Arlene Ruggiero Barbara and Paul Albanese in memory of Max and Nicholas Tory Camille and Louis Lombardo in memory of Brenda Joan Ruggiero in memory of Douglas Paul Albanese Rita Ashton in memory of Jennifer Lombardo Thomas Schaefer Sue and Chuck Aldridge in memory of Rachel Harri Lynn Lonergan in memory of Laura Douglas Schaefer in memory of Scott Orsak Judy Assalone in memory of Lonnie Dean Rice and Wilbert Schmidt Kathleen Alexander in memory of Vincent D. Assalone Donnie Keith Rice in memory of Fredrick Alexander in memory of William Wydale McAbee III Debi and Frank Attalla Annette Mansker Schmidt Ellen and Dave Allen and Angela and in memory of Gabriella Marie Attalla in memory of Brad Rozell Jennifer P. Schneider Jamison Huddleston Barbara Atwood and Peter Eisner Donors from Maryland Charity in memory of Jessica Grace Wing in memory of Syd Hanson in memory of Jacob Elliot Eisner Campaign Barbara Schrage Jerry and Sharon Allen Cyndi Aubrey Claude McKibben in memory of Olivia Mary Catherine in memory of Lyn Marie Allen in memory of Griffin Aubrey in memory of Corey Allen McKibben Cerone Michael and Roni Almeida Angel Augugliaro Purple Lady/Barbara J. Meislin Fund Jonathan Scilken in memory of Anthony “Tony” Almeida in memory of Kanani Augugliaro in memory of Little Lady Lori and in memory of Marvin and Poly Scilken Jody and Scott Peggie L. Avila Anne Ladd Becky and Anthony Sciotti in memory of Jesse Alne in memory of Aaron Mario Avila Kent Mensing in memory of Christopher Anthony Sciotti Cindy Amaro Carl Baab in memory of Ryan Kent Mensing Chris Serrano in memory of Kerina E. Salazar in memory of Colden Baab Angela Merrfield Georgia and Hank Sheer Rachael Amaro Randall Bachman in memory of Nikolas Alexander Merrfield in memory of Erin Sheer in memory of Angel Rivas in memory of Sarah Bachman-Busch Donna and Steve Miley Sammye and Dennis Short Sheri Amato Cindy Bacon in memory of Stephen Miley and in memory of Matt Short in memory of Eric James Kalber in memory of Scott K. Bacon, III Melissa Bond Russell A. Smith Donors from Amazonsmiles.com Virginia Badillo Camilla Miller in memory of Morgan Kristen Kuhaida America’s Gardening Resource, Inc. in memory of Henry Badillo in memory of Timothy Turner and Norita and Tim Sullivan in support of Susan Bushey Claudia and Roy Baggerly Marlin Polen in memory of Captain Iwan T. Spolsky Brenda Ammerman in memory of Jess Baggerly Kathleen and Stephen Miller Laura and Steven Swain in memory of Brian Ammerman Joanne Baia in memory of Samuel Theodore Miller in memory of Andrew James Swain Nancy Amstad-Hite in memory of Adam Cox John and Kelley Molitor Suzanne and Michael Sylvina in memory of Seth Martin Marcia and Bob Bailey in memory of Tyler Molitor in memory of Stacy Marie Sylvina Doris Anderson in memory of Rob and Lynn Peggy Monarch Connell in memory of Sam Rosenberg Carole Bailey in memory of John Monarch Elder Roxanne Thorvaldson Eric and Mary Ann Anderson in memory of Matthew J. Bailey Martha J. Nemechek in memory of Alyssa Velasquez in memory of Christian P. Anderson Earl and E. Renee Bailey in memory of John Frank Nemechek Donors from TRUiST Ellen Ensel and Fenwick Anderson in memory of Melissa Renee (Bailey) Sylvia and Cliff Ossorio Mr. Robert Vaught in memory of Lowell Ensel Wolfram in memory of Trinka Micol Baggetta Weathermakers Electric K.K. Anderson Edith Bailey Diane and Richard Panke in memory of Pamela Flingos Marilyn Anderson Michele Balch in memory of John Richard Panke in memory of Heather Rae Anderson in memory of Edward Pilcicki and Kurtis Dace Leatherberry 3 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Lydia M. Baldeagle Kathleen Becker Timothy C. and Yvonne M. Boyle Vicki Bullaro in memory of Richard Allen Gray in memory of Patrick and Kevin in memory of Andrew Milne in memory of Craig Bullaro Liana Baldor Cunningham Bonnie and Dan Boyum Tammy Bullock in memory of AnaMaria Baldor-Bunn Jacki and Rick Belanger in memory of Michael Boyum Jim and Faye Bundy Robin Balint in memory of Danielle Ashley Belanger Keith and Mary Jo Bradley in memory of David J. Bundy in memory of Bobby Balint James Belanic in memory of Margaret L. Bradley Thomas Burkhart Sue and Robert Ballenger in memory of Katie Belanic Joan Brady in memory of Andrew Ryan Burkhart in memory of Ben Debbie and Patrick Bell in memory of James and Kimy Fissel Laura Burnham Dianne and Peter Ballesty in memory of Andrew John Bell Sheila and Leon Braunagel in memory of Darryl Anne Burnham in memory of Peter Kevin Ballesty, John Andrew and Karla S. Bell in memory of Kirsten Braunagel and Linda Inchiostro Patrick Johnston and Bryan Austin in memory of David Andrew Bell, Thomas Breakfast Club Charlotte and James Burns Marian and Donald Balster Andrew Bell, and Melinda Sue Bell in memory of Allie Jana Ayers in memory of Edward James Burns in memory of Anthony Longo Martha W. Bell James and Lynn Breiner Shirley and Jim Burnside Alice Bane in memory of Damien Ashley Bell in memory of Matthew J. Breiner in memory of Kirk Burnside in memory of Barak Bane Randall and Nancy Bell Kenzie Brendle Kathy Burrous Daniel Banning in memory of Marc Randall Bell in memory of Baby Barnes in memory of Andrew Burrous in memory of Joshua Banning Karen Belz Dorothy Brennan Nancy and David Burt Henry and Theresa Baranowski in memory of Joshua Erb in memory of Jenne B. Guyette in memory of Joseph W. Toth in memory of Rebecca “Becky” Faye Bennett Bette and Jack Brennan Janine Busch Woytowicz Baranowski in memory of Kimberly Ann Bennett in memory of Michael Thomas Brennan in memory of Benjamin Mathew Busch Judy and Dave Barkdoll Mary Bennett Tresha Brenneman Judy and Doug Buttke in memory of Dana Barkdoll in memory of Joshua Bennett in memory of Lucas Brenneman in memory of Danny Buttke Deborah Barland Roseanna Bennett Dorothy and James Briggs Irena Callahan in memory of Joseph Engles in memory of Rachel Michelle Bennett in memory of Marcia Ann Briggs in memory of Curtis A. Bucci Brenda Barnes Andrea and Dennis Benson Susan Briggs Charlie and Debbie Camp in memory of Jon R. Barnes-Klarner in memory of Shane Lewis in memory of Michael Wright in memory of Charles Joseph (Joe) Camp Midge and Jack Barnes Christine Benz Shirley Rich Brinegar John M. Campbell in memory of Eddie Barnes in memory of Anthony Longo in memory of Bert Rich Janet Cannon Monte Barnes Cynthia and David Berger Joan Brinkley Smith Linda Cardillo in memory of Kristopher Monte Barnes in memory of Adam M. Berger in memory of Wykeham Scott Smith in memory of Matthew A. Cardillo Jackie and Tony Barnette Bill Bergstrom Leonard and Cynthia Broderick Deborah Carlson in memory of Jessica Barnette in memory of Allison Bergstrom in memory of Jamie Jo Broderick in memory of Andy Carlson Diane Barnsley Robert J. Berns Fernandez Louis Carosa in memory of Edward Barnsley in memory of Lisa Elaine Berns Tom and Sandra Brooker in memory of Kevin G. Carosa Stephen Barron Suzanne and Bill Berry in memory of Daniel Steven Brooker Loretta Carpenter in memory of Adam Barron in memory of Marc Berry Lois and Bill Brooks in memory of Ryan Andrew Kuizinas Leslie Barry Davidson Joyce Berry in memory of Steven Dumont Tara and Kevin Carr-Lemke in memory of Patrick Ross Davidson, Jr in memory of Scott Eric Miller Anthony and Mary Jo Brown in memory of Emmanuel Carr-Lemke Marylou Bartkiewicz Bruce and Patricia Bertrand in memory of Glenn Brown Mr. and Mrs. Frank Carson in memory of Michael Lapointe in memory of Erica Renee Bertrand and James and Susan Brown in memory of Glen Carson Gail Bartley LCPL Bryan Pahl Bertrand in memory of Andrew Adams Brown Michelle and Ray Carter in memory of John David Stacy Allison Biggio Karen Brown in memory of Liam Carter Patricia Barton Lovesee in memory of Nicole Rose Berman in memory of Robert Block and Cody Rosa Carter in memory of Troy T. Rogers Anne and Edwin Bisek Block in memory of Luke Carter Pat Barwood in memory of Jordan Levi Bisek Linda Brown Carrie and Rich Caruso in memory of Kevin Barwood and Mary Lou Bishop in memory of Brad Wildasin in memory of Tony Cabrera Ricky Carbia in memory of Timothy John Bishop Rosemarie and Jack Brown Terry and Jim Casey Albert and Sonya Batten Ann Blandford in memory of Andrew P. Brown and in memory of their son in memory of Aaron Lopp in memory of Patrick James Blandford Meredith E. Brown Ena Castro Stacey and Greg Batz Patricia Block Theresa Brown in memory of Deborah Castro in memory of Carly Nicole Lynn and Bob Boelk in memory of Mickey, Leila, Ken and Kris Ted and June Cathcart Merle and Mimi Bauer in memory of Chris A. Boelk Treva Brown in memory of Theodore K. Cathcart III in memory of Heidi Lynn Bauer Lesley Bogash in memory of DeShawn Hunt “Todd” Sharon Baughman in memory of Andy Winer Inara Brubaker Beverly Cavanaugh in memory of Rachel A. Baughman Craig Bonda in memory of Erika and Andra Brubaker in memory of Holly Lynn Cavanaugh Brenda Bauman in memory of Stephen Holmgren Anne and Jeff Brubaker Jill Cavellier in memory of Carley Jean Linda Bondra in memory of Adam Joshua Brubaker in memory of Sally Anna Ottenhoff BCD Travel USA Kathy Borck Laura Bruce Carol Cavin Gloria and Michael Beal Patricia Boterweg in memory of Sean Bruce in memory of Kelley Michelle Cavin in memory of Ian Michael Beal in memory of Scott Boterweg Paul and Cathy Brustowicz Janet Celly Jackie and Robbin Beasley Catherine Boudreau in memory of Brian Brustowicz, Kyle in memory of Eric Johnson in memory of Sean T. Cannon and in memory of Christopher Chance Brustowicz, and Stefan Brustowicz M. Lynn Chadwick Jacqueline B. Killingsworth Juszynski JoRene Bruzek in memory of Nicholas Rivera Edity Beaton Rachel Boudreau in memory of Lulu Rekha Chandra in memory of Lance Corporal Roland Mike and Marty Bourland Brenda Bryan in memory of Nayan Chandra D. Beaton in memory of Steve Bourland in memory of Rodney Mor Gara Janet Chapman Idona Beck Beverly Bousson Joanne Buckalew in memory of Jesse Greenberg in memory of Jace Andrwe Beck in memory of Whit Roush in memory of Stacy Buckalew Cynthia Becken Jim Bowie Maureen Budinger (continued on page 38) in memory of Thomas Pope in memory of Scot Richard Schulz We Need Not Walk Alone|3 7

(continued from page 37) Audrey and Jay Conners Charlene Dankanyin Peter and Pat Didier in memory of Leslie Ann Conners in memory of Todd and Dave in memory of Joe Didier Barbara and Eric Chazen Maryanne Constantineau Clements Dante Emily Dietz in memory of Dr. Geoffrey David Chazen in memory of Joel Constantineau Vegie Darden in memory of Andy Dalton Melissa Chenoweth Carole E. Cromier in memory of Stephanie Settle Doris and Rick Dillon in memory of Justin D. Chenoweth in memory of Gregory Scott Cormier Greg and Sandi Darling in memory of Heather Kathleen Dillon Anna and Ren Cherven Edward Corpus in memory of Lisa Darling Ms. Barbara Dimmick in memory of Philip M. Cherven in memory of Jason Jitendra Park Reed and Sabine Darsey Sam Dinsdale Margaret Chitwood-Watkins Maria Cota in memory of Johanan Darsey in memory of Lucas Samuel Dinsdale in memory of Clayton Lee Chitwood in memory of Anthony R. Cota, Jr. Miquelina and Aires DaSilva Brigid and Jeff DiPaolo and Matthew Lanee Chitwood Patricia and Michael Cotton in memory of Sophia Rose DaSilva in memory of Clairee Beth DiPaolo Barbara Chiulli in memory of Heather Cotton Teresa and Stephen Dassing Arlene DiPietro in memory of Philip Panetta Delton and Stella Courtney in memory of Michael B. Dassing in memory of Andrew McDavid Bernie Chrismer in memory of Kimberly Denise Courtney Daubert Chemical Company Kelley and James Doane in memory of Carolyn Marie Chrismer Patricia and John Cox in memory of Anthony Longo in memory of Lauren Allison Doane Marie and Ted Christ in memory of Sandra Taylor Bob and Cynthia Daugherty Deryl Ann Dobson in memory of Lisa Marie Christ Cheryl and John Cox in memory of Abby Czirr in memory of her son Larry Christensen in memory of Anthony Josiah (AJ) Tally Kathryn Davino Ms. Janet Dolan in memory of Andy and Cameron James Crane in memory of Cassie Rose Davino Eleanor and Ken Donatelli Christensen Carol and Les Cristini D. Stone Davis in memory of Michael J. Donatelli Marie and Elroy Christie in memory of their son in memory of Amy Malone Davis Kathleen Dougherty in memory of Mariel Cecile Christie Audrey Crone Edith Davis in memory of Vincent Gabriel Rivera Barbara Christoff in memory of Michael Crone in memory of Janet Elaine Davis and Andrew Tyler Rivera in memory of Brian Michael Christoff Diane and Don Crosby Evelyn Davis Dennis and Joan Doyle Katrin and Steve Ciaffa in memory of Jill and Debbie Crosby in memory of LeRoy Davis, III in memory of Michelle Lea Price in memory of Katie Donahue Margaret and John Cross Glenn and Rosie Davis Linda and Steven Dressler Pete and Diane Cifaloglio in memory of Colleen Fay Cross in memory of Paul Glenn Davis in memory of Jessica Lauren Dressler in memory of Lauren Elizabeth Cifaloglio Jean and Steve Cross Pat Davison Cindy Driskoll Andrew Cilla in memory of Stacie Rae Cross in memory of Dorian, Pometa and in memory of Kristin Rae Driskill in memory of Anthony Longo Lesly Crowder Devon Davison Virginia Drollinger Chester L. Clark in memory of Ryan Crowder Beth and William Day in memory of Jacob Martin Drollinger in memory of Sandra Clark Susan Crowley in memory of Will Day Vicki and Gary Druchniak Ana (Ruby) Clark in memory of Megan Elizabeth Crowley Mr. and Mrs. Bill de St. Aubin in memory of Jeffrey David Druchniak in memory of Jennifer A. Clark Kathy and Tom Crowley in memory of Timmy de St. Aubin Brian Dubay Jack and Tia Clarke in memory of Timmy Crowley and Larry DeAngelo in memory of Seth Brian Dubay in memory of Matthew Gumberg Christopher Toolan in memory of Larry DeAngelo, Jr. Susie Duncan Gayle Dekellis and David Clayton Sheri and Kevin Crymes Thomas Deighton in memory of Randi Marie Black in memory of Zach Clayton in memory of Jeremy Crymes Barbara Delano Beverly Dunnavant Karen and William Clayton Monica Csorny in memory of Michael Christopher in memory of Robert W. Dunnavant II in memory of Ian Joseph Hyzy in memory of Lauren Csorny McManus Katherine Dussault Deb and Bruce Clements Deborah Cummens Cheryl DeLong in memory of Tessa Gloria in memory of Darcie Saint Clements in memory of (Michael) Jon Hunter in memory of Kyle Moore and Eric Moore Barbara and Leo Dwyer Steve and Debbie Close Susan and Jim Cumming Maureen and Anton DeMaioribus Mary Alice Dyal in memory of Carrie Anne Lindsey in memory of Suzanne Snepp in memory of Ann M. DeMaioribus in memory of Lorraine Dyal Sue and George Cobb Dick and Sandy Cunha Penny DeMars Pat and Jeff Dyson in memory of Brent Cobb in memory of Brett K. Shaad in memory of Cole Michael Messer in memory of Steve Dillard Sandi Codorniu and Rob Hooker Lois Curran Jane and Cliff Denay Donna and Ralph Eastman in memory of Austin Codorniu in memory of Steven Wagoner in memory of Nathaniel Clifford Kubala in memory of Ralph Michael Eastman Barbara R. Cody Pamela Cusick Denay Mrs. Robert Eaton in memory of Daniel W. Cody in memory of Jason Adelsberg Mr. and Mrs. Paul Denes in memory of Captain William “Bill” Lu-Anne Coe Parrott and Ramsey Funeral Home in memory of Michel Denes Eaton in memory of Chris Moore Carolyn Dahlgren Robert and Margie Denlinger Tamara Eberlein Mr. and Mrs. E.B. Coggins in memory of Anthony P. Longo in memory of Robert E. Denlinger, Jr. (Rob) in memory of James A. Garvey in memory of Elizabeth Rose Coggins Mr. and Mrs. John Dahmus Debra Dermack Judith Ebert Margo and Irv Cohen Mark Dailey in memory of Melissa Ditta in memory of Christine Ebert and her in memory of Alex Cohen in memory of Christopher Gene Dailey Lynn and Charles Derrick unborn son Edward Collado Jeanne-Marie Daly in memory of Michael Derrick Penny J. Ecord Dede and Bob Collicott in honor of Kathy Beavers Joseph DeSantis Michael Edens in memory of Mandee Collicott Eileen Driscoll Dandan in memory of Donnamarie DeSantis in memory of Keelan Emily Edens Linda Colville in memory of Bahija Dandan, Brian and Joseph P. De Santis Jr. Bill and Julie Edgar in memory of Ronald W. Necco, Sr. and Sirotzke, Kurt Vavra, Ryan Pondelick, Denise Devanney in memory of Michael Edgar Brandon M. Necco Bill Drawisz and Cassie Geary in memory of Nicholas Quattrocki Donna Edmiston Mary Comly Sharon Danenburg Judy Anne and Walter Dever in memory of Paul Edmiston Jacqueline and Richard Comras in memory of Eric Danenburg in memory of Josh Dever and John Strasser Robbie and Frank Edwards in memory of Jon Comras Vickie and Denny Danford Sandra and Jon Devermann in memory of Alec Michael Williams Susie and Bill Conley in memory of Brian Danford in memory of Matthew Ashcraft Tess and Brian Egbert in memory of Brian Conley Angela Daniher Luanne and Gary DeVries in memory of Adam Egbert Patricia K. and Lawrence J. Connell in memory of Mark Daniher Jill and Edward DeYoung Carol and Jimmy Egoian and Family in memory of Matthew and Molly in memory of Stephen R. Fava in memory of J. Blake C. Egoian 3 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Colleen Ehret Jerry and Chris Floyd Michael A. Giuliano, MD Joanne Hagadorn in memory of Brandt Koehler in memory of Kayla Diane Floyd in memory of Penny Linehan Cary Hagen Roxanne and Larry Ellis Sharon Fong Cindy and Steve Glaser in memory of Hagen Jeffrey James in memory of Adam D. Ellis in memory of Stephanie Reneè Fong Patricia and Joshua Glass Pamela Young Thomas Emery Nancy and Doug Fortier in memory of Maxwell Edward-Ray Glass Ray Haines in memory of Thomas John Emery in memory of Jeffrey Brian Fortier Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Glenn in memory of Joe D. Haines Mayra Engel Ellen V. Foxwell in memory of Lauren Glenn Marlene Halden in memory of Adam Engel in memory of Michael Dwayne Nokes Mom, Gram Brittany and Avery in memory of Peter Christian Frederick J. Stan Erickson Marilyn Frandzel in memory of Brendon Kyle Glenn Halden in memory of Macy Erickson in memory of Esther Jean Glick Elsie and Ron Hale William Ermatinger Maria Franjul-Ruff in memory of Joel Jeffrey Glick in memory of Ronald C.B. Hale, Cailin in memory of Kathy Ermatinger in memory of Luis Lara Mary Goetz Stone, and Autumn Jackson Fred and Janelle Etoch Averil E. Fraser in memory of Howie Goetz, III Mike and Ann Hall in memory of Evan Etoch in memory of Errol L.C. Fraser, Jr. Lucy Harris and Thomas Gold in memory of Kyle Davis Simonson Sarah Eubanks Joyce Frederick in memory of William Gold Tom and Cleo Hall in memory of PFC Robert (Bobby) Paul in memory of Andrew Thomas Barbara Golds in memory of Morgan Hall Hines Nancy Fredrickson in memory of Michael David Golds Rita Halpern Peggy Evans in memory of Dyan Fredrickson Murray Noreen Gomez in memory of Peter Philip Halpern in memory of Logan Minton Walter Frewin in memory of Laura Holtz Pam and Bill Hammel Sara and Shawn Evans in memory of Thomas Wright De Anna M. Goodin in memory of Zachary Shawn and in memory of Cael Scott Evans Mr. Scott Frewing in memory of Shawna Kay Goodin Nicholas Ryan Cliff and Jan Ewing Larry and Michelle Fries Judy Gorham Debbie and Phil Hammel in memory of Glenn Ewing in memory of Zachary Fries in memory of Darrell Gorham in memory of Jeremy Philip Hammel Excel Rehabilition and Sports Mr. and Mrs. Fritz Curtis and Barbara Gould Elizabeth Haney Enhancement, LLC in memory of Craig Fritz in memory of Justin Aaron Gould in memory of Christian E. Haney Exxonmobil Wendy Fry George Govatos Janet and Frank Hanig ExxonMobil Biomedical Sciences in memory of Daniel Timothy Fry in memory of Laura Govatos in memory of Adam Hanig in memory of Edward Pilcicki William J. Fry Pamela and David Graham Nancy Harber The Fabietti Family in memory of his son in memory of Evan Lloyd Graham in memory of Caroline Elizabeth Harber in memory of Tom Fabietti Mary Jo Marchionni and Joseph Leonie Grant John E. Harder Kay and Frank Failla Fuimano in memory of Tyler L. Greene Donna Hardesty in memory of Emily and Lauren Failla in memory of Matthew William Patricia Gratton in memory of Tony Scatterly Tom Fanale Marchionni in memory of Mary Elizabeth and Robin and Sally Hardy in memory of Ben Fanale Stephanie L. Fuller Homer David Gratton in memory of Patricia Mary Hardy Kate and Bob Fandetti in memory of Robin Nicole Fuller Maria and Wayne Grau Harford County Government, in memory of Scott Fandetti Paula and Larry Funk in memory of Evan Grau Department of Treasury Jackie and Ken Fanion in memory of Anna Lynn Funk and Jane and Kerry Greaser in memory of Dolores M. Peisinger in memory of Mark A. Fanion Greg Froede in memory of Aaron John Greaser Marie and Rod Harley Mr. and Mrs. Michael Farina James and Dawn Gadd Ben and Carol Green in memory of Corrie Drayton Harley in memory of Vincent K. Farina in memory of Jesse Thomas Gadd in memory of Hiliary Ramsey Green Sally Harper Connie Farkas Tim and Barbara Gaffney Barbara J. and Richard A. Green in memory of Alvin W. Stephens III in memory of Dr. Jeffrey Scott Farkas in memory of Tim and Michael Gaffney Susan and Bill Green Judith Harris Gloria Fava Peggy Gagnon in memory of Kate Green in memory of Matthew Ornstein in memory of Stephen Ronald Fava in memory of Zachary Gagnon Victoria T. Green Kristina and Richard Harris Gary and Mary Federwitz Kym and Rich Gaissl in memory of Christian A. Green in memory of Sydney Ann Harris in memory of Adam Federwitz in memory of Jason R. Arcaro Gail and Leonard Greenbaum Annie and Tony Harris Sharon Felder- St. Clair Sandy Galindo in memory of Adam Greenbaum in memory of Pamela Grace Harris in memory of Michael Dale St. Clair, Jr. in memory of Steven Eugene Galindo Rodney Greening Karen and Don Harrison Marilyn Feldstein Bob and June Gallagher in memory of Jonathon Shanks in memory of David William Harrison in memory of Laura Feldstein in memory of Thomas B. Gallagher Mary Griffith and Joyce Borgsiak Carol and Bob Fenimore Linda Gallagher in memory of Noelle Carolyn Hart in memory of Roma R. Jadick in memory of Tracy P. Kildebeck Renee and Phil Grimm in memory of Matthew Hart Mr. and Mrs. Richard Fennell Brandon Garcia in memory of Asher Philip Grimm Ken and Sandra Hassig in memory of Richard Fennell, Jr. “Ricky” in memory of Anthony Longo Barbara Gross in memory of Jolie Victoria Hassig Martha and Dick Fenoglio Holly Garrett in memory of James Lee Stallings Rhonda and Shawn Hawkins in memory of Judith Fenoglio Daw James and Janet Gastineau Diane Gross in memory of Dalton Hawkins Janice Ferguson in memory of Laura Gastineau and in memory of Marque A. Thompson Ms. Vickie Healy in memory of Tracy Giugler Stephen Shannon Pam Grove Lisa and Brett Hebert Eric and Alysa Fields GE Foundation in memory of Helen Michelle Grove in memory of Trent J. Hebert in memory of Harley Fields Barbara J. Gearty Bobby and Robin Grubbs Beverly Hecht Antonia Filipiak in memory of Shane Patrick Gearty in memory of Robby Grubbs in memory of Laura Hecht in memory of Leon C. Howard II Renee Gentry Cathleen and Dan Grzanich Lisa and Ronald Heflin Allison and Mark Finkelstein in memory of Wyatt James Gentry in memory of Claire Therese Grzanich in memory of Scott Jason Davidson in memory of David Samuel Finkelstein Joseph Giandonato Claire T. and Arthur C. Guilmette Jackie and Duane Hegna John Flaherty in memory of Alissa Marie Giandonato in memory of Jason T. Guilmette, Zachary in memory of Jon Hegna in memory of Bridgette L. Flaherty Jim and Alison Gillespie J. Tiernan, and David R. Dumais, Jr. Vicki Heilweil Rita Fleischer in memory of Nickolas James Gillespie Judy Gundling in memory of Neil Craig Heilweil in memory of Erik Alan Fleischer Denise Ginszauskas in memory of Adam Gundling Jeannine Florance in memory of Michelle Ginszauskas Dale and Randie Haake (continued on page 40) in memory of Julian Gray-Florance We Need Not Walk Alone|3 9

(continued from page 39) Ellen Holmsen Donald Johnson Linda and Peter Kelly in memory of Leif Edward Smith in memory of Donald Jeffrey (Jeff) in memory of Tara Kelly Cindy and Barry Heiman Janet Hooten Johnson Sharon Kelly in memory of Alexis Heiman in memory of Bradley Jonathan Gill Marilyn and Gary Johnson in memory of Katelyn Nicole Jones Debbie and Doug Heitzenrater Diane and Kurt Horning in memory of Kent Johnson Shirley and Tom Kelly in memory of Ryan Heitzenrater in memory of Matthew D. Horning Gwendolyn Johnson in memory of Kristine Marie Kelly Gary Helfman Burt, Patricia and Ian Hovander in memory of Antonio Cid Helene Kendall in memory of Ryan Helfman in memory of Elena Lydia Hovander Marsha Johnson in memory of Stephen Kendall Ann and Mark Helfrich Colleen Howard and Kelly Ledford in memory of Joan Walen Mom, Dad, Allie, Katie and Luke in memory of Joshua George Helfrich in memory of Jimmy Hudson Susan Johnson in memory of Michael Derek Kennedy Amy Helm Coralee Howard in memory of Michael David Johnson Christine Kenney in memory of Jonathan Helm in memory of Clinton Jones Charles F. and Marcia W. Jones in memory of Steph Kenney Amy and Michael Helm Rose Howard in memory of Charlie Jones Kathy Kerdus in memory of Jonathan T. Helm in memory of Ron Howard Susan and David Jones in memory of Erin Dickman Julia Helm Bernard O. Hudson, MD in memory of Eric Allen Jones Deb Kerns in memory of Sara Nadine Honeycutt in memory of Brandon James Hudson James Jones Kathy and Joe Kessler Deborah and Jonathan Henderson Sandra and Bill Hughes in memory of Levi Jones and Andy Coles in memory of Joseph Matthew Kessler in memory of Cheryl Jardine in memory of Michael Gettys Page Laurina Jones Judy and Bill Kidder Katherine Henderson Nelda Hughes in memory of Sean T. Jones in memory of Andrew Swain Ricia Hendrick in memory of Jennifer Lynn Hughes Megan Jones Cheryl and David Kiersten in memory of Lisa Kay Mackinnon and Pederson in memory of John W. Jones in memory of Michael J. Kiersten Clint Mackinnon Polly and Steve Hunt Rachel Jones Cynthia Kimball Connie Hendricks Laurie Hunter in memory of Ryan Jones in memory of Wayne Gordy in memory of Dr. Michelle Liggio in memory of Ian Hunter Alice Jordan Donald King Delores Hensley Robin Hurdle in memory of Marcelles Jordan Sheila King in memory of Nichole Lee Hensley in memory of Noah Costa Mary Ellen Joseph in memory of Jeffrey D. King (Boogie) Barbara Husk in memory of Jason Swinehamer Mr. and Mrs.James W. Kipfstuhl Joby and Jack Herman in memory of Mark Edward Husk Joanne Joyner, Gray Meredith, and in memory of Kerry Kipfstuhl in memory of Luke Herman Katherine Y. Hutchinson John David Meredith Michael and Joan Kirchmer Jack and Joby Herman in memory of Robert M. Hutchinson in memory of Christopher Lee Meredith in memory of Jennifer Kirchmer Young in memory of Luke Herman Martha Snodgrass Hutchinson Donors from JustGive.org Karen Kirn Keith and Roberta Herman in memory of Vernon Hutchinson and Anthony Kakis in memory of Eric Stein in memory of Robert Herman Wilson Snodgrass in memory of Anna Maria Kakis Michael and Gloria Kissel Karen (Karr) Hershey Donors from IGive.com Janet Kameros in memory of Kimberly Kissel in memory of Michael Dewey Nodine Linda and Daniel Ihnen in memory of Cathryn Bradway Brenda Kline Janice and Harry Hess and Carolyn in memory of Troy Ihnen Gloria and Erwin Kamrath in memory of Brad Kline Mullins Deborah Imlay in memory of Tami Kamrath Hess Karen and Dennis Klisch in memory of Amy and Jessica Hess in memory of Seth Imlay John Kane in memory of Robert Tim Hester Judy Immel in memory of Jesse James and Eric Lyn Lucy Klos in memory of Time B. Hester, Jr. in memory of David Immel Kane in memory of Robert Yankosky Sunday and Robert Hicks Rick and Connie Ingram Nancy and Rick Kapko Carole and Joe Klug in memory of Robert Dean Hicks, Jr. in memory of Matthew Rhodes Ingram in memory of Brian Kapko in memory of Joshua Adam Klug and Richard Anthony Hicks Jean and Jerry Irving Robert Kaplan Roger and Raida Knapp Adele and Walter Higgins in memory of Kara Lynn Irving in memory of Alison Ruth Kaplan in memory of Eric Lorin Knapp in memory of Brian Buckton Sammara Foundation Matt Karls Richard Knight Betty Hill and Kathi Boyle in memory of Sammara Islam in memory of Ella Pepper in memory of Hollie Knight in memory of Gordon Freer The Izzo Family Fraya Karsh, Lawrence Weiss and Mary and Mike Knipper Kit Hill in memory of Baby Benjamin Maxwell Weiss in memory of Andrew Knipper in memory of Amy Ballentine Darren and Annette Jackson in memory of Ms. Jordan Weinstein Connie and John Koch Mark and Connie Hill in memory of Tatum Nicole Jackson Karen and Mort Kass in memory of Daniel Edward Koch in memory of Chad Hill Lynn and Bob Jacobs in memory of Matthew Kass Cheryl Koehler Hills Bank and Trust Company in memory of Brenda M. Jacobs Nan Katz in memory of J. Brad Smith in honor of The Gedlinske Family Donna James in memory of Vicki Clare Katz Ellen and Tom Komadina Kathy and Doug Hinckley in memory of Corey Christopher James Joel Kaufman in memory of Ann Michelle Komadina in memory of Allison Kathleen Hinckley and Michelle Marie James in memory of Joshua Wald Jane Kowalski Elsie Hobbs Peter Jarjoura Barbara Keegan in memory of Tina Kowalski in memory of Wyatt Hedgepeth and in memory of Jordan Jarjoura in memory of Robert M. Keegan Debbie and Vince Kozsdiy Myra Hedgepeth Michael Jarrett Elaine D. Keeler in memory of Aileen Kozsdiy Patricia Hockenberry in memory of Michael Jarrett, Jr. in memory of Deborah Jean Keeler Hilary Kraus in memory of Tony James Cosme Mary Javarey Ruth Keeling in memory of Beatrix Cherise and Todd Hoffman in memory of Nicholas Hendee, Larry in memory of Cory James Keeling Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Krauss in memory of Brady Noah Hoffman Bradley, and Layla Charette Cynthia G. Kelley in memory of Mitchell Krauss Joan and Dale Hofmeister Kerwin and Suzanne Jeffery in memory of Stephen Paul Kelley Jennifer Kruck Enberg in memory of Dennis M. Hofmeister in memory of Benjamin K. Jeffery James “Bo” Kelley in memory of Carl M. Kruck Enberg Concetta Hogg Sue and Jack Jerovsek in memory of Casey Kelley Deb and Peter Kulkkula in memory of Joseph Motto in memory of Robert Jack Jerovsek Jereme Kelley in memory of Peter John Kulkkula Paula and Mike Holder Amy and Bill Jeroy in memory of Matt Thorne Mary and Wayne Kuper in memory of Andrew (Drew) Holder in memory of Owen Jeroy Peter and Linda Kelley in memory of Kelly Kuper and Brienne Lynda Holman Maria Jimenez in memory of Jason Christopher Kelley Dykstra in memory of Richie Holman in memory of Adrian Joseph Jimenez 4 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Kathryn (Kitty) Kurtz, Adie, and Mark Dolores Leszczak Edward Lynn Wanda Matthews in memory of Michael Benjamin Kurtz in memory of Debie Marosi, Jacob in memory of Megan Jessica Lynn in memory of Pierce Matthews Daniel LaBarge Marosi, and John Leszczak, Jr. Jayne MacKay Tom and Jan Mattson in memory of Anthony Longo Jerry and Kellie LeTexier in memory of Gracie MacKay in memory of Erin Michelle Matson Mary LaBarge in memory of Tiffany LeTexier Michael Mackey Mom, Shari and Brother, Lonnie in memory of Anthony P. Longo Ann Letheby in memory of Jessica in memory of Kayla Maxson Audrey Labiche in memory of Matthew Ryan Letheby Donald and Brenda MacLean Martha and Ralph Maxwell in memory of Mark Anthony Labiche and Earl Letheby Cecilia and Bruce MacPherson Kim McArthur Nancy and Dean Laffey Barbara Levantrosser in memory of Bruce R. MacPherson, II in memory of Brandon Griffiths in memory of Philip Laffey in memory of Christopher Burnham Elaine and James Madden Norma McBride Bernice and Ozzie LaFleur Levi Strauss Foundation in memory of Andrew Michael Madden in memory of Tom McBride and Donnie in memory of Anthony Jon Baker in support of Barbara F. Wessels Barb and Mike Madden McBride Patrice and Bernie LaLonde Cheryl and Walt Lewis in memory of Luke Madden Scott, Dylan and Ben McCarthy in memory of Ryon LaLonde in memory of Randy Lee Lewis Montse and Rick Madden in memory of Zane Smith LeeAnn and Rick Lamb Carol Lieberman in memory of Tyler S. Madden Steve and Jane McCartney in memory of Katie Lamb in memory of Daniel Lieberman Kirsten and Chris Maddox in memory of Erin McCartney Nusbaum Jeanie Lamch Stephen Mario and Patricia Limnongelli in memory of Andrew Maddox Catherine McCoy in memory of Eugene and Michael Lamch in memory of Stephen Mario Robert and Cheryl Mahoney in memory of James The Lancaster Family Limongelli, Jr. in memory of Kelly Mari Mahoney and Nydia and Michael McCrohan in memory of Shane Lancaster Henry Lin Kamil Borowski in memory of Anthony P. Longo Robin and Michael Landry in memory of Tessa Gloria Jim Mahoney Barbara McDonald in memory of Emily Anne Landry Skip Lind in memory of Susan Mahoney in memory of Sean Christopher McDonald Kelly Landsverk in memory of Erik Lind Robert Malkowski Judy McDonald in memory of Brittney Landsverk Sarah Lindgren in memory of Tom Malkowski in memory of Darren Kyle McDonald Arlene Lane in memory of Martina and Brianna Stephen Malley Christine McDonough in memory of Charles W. Smith, Jr. and Jaggers in memory of Kevin Malley in memory of Jesse McDonough and Susan J. Lane Peter and Delia Linstrom Peg and Steve Malloy Michael McIntee Victoria and Michael lane Diane and Howard Lipman in memory of Margaret Mae Malloy Gail McDonough in memory of Brett Lane in memory of Manny Kvdisch Kathy and Patrick Malone in memory of James P. Evens, IV and Judith Lange Terry and Tamara Liptow in memory of Scott, Erin and Lance Malone Kevin McDonough in memory of Daniel William Lange in memory of Brenda Lee Liptow Donna and Ben Manderachi Shawn and Christine McDonough Terry Lange Laura Litterst in memory of James Manderachi in memory of Jesse McDonough in memory of Scott Lange in memory of Anna Renee Manger Norma McDowell Ed Larsen Gordan Little Holly and Robert Mankey in memory of Teddy McDowell in memory of Anthony Longo in memory of Amanda Little in memory of Kevin R. Mankey Mary Jo and Mike and Gary McFadden Julie Larson Lisa M. Livesey JoAnne and Thomas Manley in memory of Brian McFadden in memory of Gregory Shawn Larson in memory of Erica Frances Fleming in memory of Matthew P. Manley Nancy McGehean Mom, Dad, Holly, Ryan, Wade and Betty Locke Marsha Mann in memory of Jennifer McGehean Sadie in memory of Ramona Rae Locke and in memory of Christopher Mann Susan and Jeff McGranahan in memory of Lee Laughorn Robyn Z. Russell Bonnie and Jarmo Mantyla in memory of Ian Alexander McGranahan Linda Lauterbach Anja Loeffel in memory of their son Kieran and Jessica McGrath in memory of Anthony Longo in memory of Christopher Loeffel Lynne Marino in memory of Victoria McGrath Tracy Lawrason Becky Logsdon-Dougherty in memory of Angie Marino Sherry McGrath in memory of Richard Roy Rinker, Jr. in memory of Darin Scott Hart Diane and Dominic Mark in memory of Kylan Farris Joan and Jim Lawrence Michelle Longo Eder in memory of Alena Rose Mark Patricia McGuigan in memory of Susan E. Lawrence in memory of Ben Eder Lee and Dolores Markham in memory of Joshua Ostapowicz Paul Lawrence Wendy and Richard Looker in memory of Tiffany Rose Markham Marian and Gib McIvain in memory of Aaron R. Lawrence in memory of Wayne Robert Looker and Jonathan Markham David and Barbara McIntyre Deb Lawver Dr. and Mrs. Clyde Lord Mary and Martin Marlowe Rebecca McKanna in memory of Ralph Patterson in memory of Sharon E. Lord in memory of Benjamin Rush Marlowe in memory of Ann Marie Temple Jan and Paul Lazier Joanne Lose and Julie Meloni Veronica and George Marosi Mom, Donald and Joshua in memory of Darrin L. Bullard and in memory of Jim Bowerman in memory of Kristine Ann Marosi in memory of Andrew J. McKee Shane D. Lazier Charles Loutsch Stephen Marshall Loved Ones in Powhatan, VA Mary Leao-Martin in memory of Amy Loutsch in memory of Cassie Marshall in memory of Sylvia Louise Margaret in memory of John E. Leao II Janice, Kevin, Chad and Skylar Lovel Jen and Steve Mason Paxton Carol A. Le Blanc in loving memory of Jason Lovel in memory of Christopher Mason Jeff McKenna in memory of David W. LeBlanc Kathy Lowe Lucy Masters in memory of Tracy McKenna Ellen S. Lee in memory of Kim Salmon and Cindy in memory of Henry Masters Suzy and Jim McKenna in memory of Stephen F. Lee Eichhorn Peter Mather in loving memory of Mollie Suzanne Vallejo Stephen Leibowitz Nora and Jacob Luftman in memory of Ensign Bethanne Mather USN Susan McKinley in memory of David William Leibowitz in memory of Hannah Eve Luftman Norma J. Mathieson in memory of Carla Grones Gary and Ginny Lensing Judy Lund in memory of Bonnie Myers Mary McKown in memory of Hannah Rose in memory of Courtney Ann Moyer Gary and Valerie Matlock in memory of Michael McGarvey Irving Leon Russ Lusch in memory of Galen Matlock Mr. and Mrs. Willard McLain Penny and Pat Leone in memory of Marianne Nicole Lusch Mary Anne Mattero in memory of Gary James McLain in memory of Lacey Unger Tam Ly in memory of Joseph and Peter Mattero Donna and Charles McMillan Bob and Pam Lesko in memory of Anthony P. Longo Joan, Jim, Sean and Shannon Matteson in memory of Travis in memory of Stefanie Lesko Mark Lynch in memory of Christopher Matteson Kathleen Lesser in memory of Monica Lynch and Claudia Browning (continued on page 42) in memory of Nicholas Daniel Lesser We Need Not Walk Alone|4 1

(continued from page 41) Ed Morawetz and Barbara Willer Jennifer Norin Mary and Ted Palmer in memory of Chris Morawetz in memory of Tessa Gloria in memory of Mark Christopher Palmer Brian McMorran Susan Morgan Linda and Paul Nowaczek Jenny and Troy Palmer Mrs. Carol Mead in memory of Jennifer Beach Culver in memory of Erin Ann Nowaczek in memory of Dalton Palmer in memory of Jeremy Mead and Robert Melissa Moriarty Mary Jo and Michael Nowobilski Karen Parham Mead in memory of Matthew Wansor in memory of Michael B. Nowobilski, Jr in memory of Ricky Parham Kathleen Meagher Larry and Linda Moris Ellen and Alan Nunes Mitzi M. Parke Lorna Meier in memory of Larry M. Moris in memory of Tyson A. Nunes in memory of Allen Hugh Parke in memory of Richard (Rick) Meier and Bonita Morlese Pat and Gary Nuske Lisa and James Parker Charles (Chuck) Meier in memory of Dwayne A. James in memory of Danny Nuske in memory of Anthony Longo Andrea and John Meigs Donna and David Morrell John and Mary Ellen O’Brien Mary Parker in memory of Alexandra Nina Meigs in memory of Matthew Morrell and in memory of Michael Joseph O’Brien in memory of Adam Thompason Aida Melamed Natalie Sanchez TJ and Diana Obrotka Maryellen Parker in memory of Steven Melamed Helen and Jim Moseley in memory of Olivia Claire Obrotka in memory of Robbie Parker Anne Mell in memory of Erika Lynn Moseley Bill and Marianne O’Connor Amy and Mark Parsky in memory of Nancy Bodenstein and Angie Moser in memory of Kelly Ann O’Connor in memory of Matthew A. Parsky Lauren Zadikow in memory of Lyle Flexsenhar Winnie O’Connor Shirley Partee Sandra Menefee Terri and Mike Moser in memory of Brian P. O’Connor in memory of Wendell Partee in memory of Jason Lhotka in memory of Casey Thayer Cutler Christine O’Connor Gallant Kathy Patrick Del and Betty Mercure Rose and Bill Most Mr. and Mrs. Henry O’Donnell in memory of Bradley Evans in memory of Carrie Mercure in memory of Rebecca and Billy Most in memory of John Patrick “JP” Mary Ann Pattison Susan Messinger Pat Muehl O’Donnell in memory of Larry Pattison and in memory of Carlton Messinger II in memory of Katherine Muehl Gretchen Oehmke-Prudhomme Walter and Shelly Reed Debra Meyer Morgan Munoz in memory of Brendan C. Flynn Virginia Paulson in memory of Brannigan Cottle Shane Murdock Linda Ogg in memory of Brian T. Paulson Liz Mier and Kenny Aptekarev in memory of Bobby Murdock in memory of Lynzi Owen Lafferty Daniel R. Pearson in memory of Lola Aptekarev Sue and Don Murphy Linda M. Ogg in memory of Justin Pearson Jeanne Miles in memory of Jessica Lee Murphy in memory of Lynzi Owens Lafferty Marye Peisinger in memory of Jimmy Holes Cathy and John Murphy Susan Ohlson in memory of Joe Peisinger Cyndy and Rich Millard in honor of Lillian Meyers in memory of Augie Ohlson Pella Rolscreen Foundation in memory of John Richard Millard, Jr. John and Barbara Murphy Connie O’Kelley in support of Lisa Heflin Mary Miller in memory of Richard Shepherd in memory of Maureen Nicole O’Kelley Vicki and Peter Pellerito in memory of David Falck Murphy Judy W. Olitsky in memory of Annemarie Pellerito JoAnn and Bruce Miller Carey Murray in memory of Aaron Samuel Olitsky Gary Pelletier and Leah Hanes in memory of Kegan Miller in memory of Sara Murray Reilly Cynthia and Nicholas Oliva in memory of Evan Hanes Pelletier Emma and Melvin Miller Kathleen and Vincent Mustica in memory of Sephanie Anne Oliva Sandra and Anthony Pellicane in memory of Joey in memory of Michael A. Mustica Wando Oliver in memory of Christopher Pellicane Karin Mills Joyce Myers in memory of Zalainia Marie Oliver David and Debbie Pemberton in memory of Asher Mills in memory of Karen Myers Donna W. Olsen in memory of Eric Pemberton Jerry Minkin Tetsuo and Elinor Najita in memory of Kenneth Stuart Mack Sara Jane Perkins in memory of Jason Minkin in memory of Mie Kim Najita Terri, Ruben, Dominic and Derek in memory of Peter M. Perkins James Minniti Andrea and Nello Naticchione Olvera Maureen Perlette in memory of Anthony Minniti in memory of Nello Naticchione, IV in memory of Danica Olvera in memory of Jill Ann Perlette Cory Miser Rae Nau Doris O’Reilly-Dillon Cora M. Perrone in memory of Graham Weedman in memory of Terry Bowling in memory of Heather Dillon in memory of Kenneth F. Perrone Richard and Nancy Moeller Lisa Near Sharon and George Orff Christine and Arliss Perry in memory of Kevin and David Conway in memory of Catherine Ann Szymanski in memory of Rachael Reneé Chan in memory of Zachary James Perry Betsey and Robert Mohlenbrok Ruth Neitzel Judy Ortwein Jason Pethtel in memory of Michael and Tommy in memory of Stephanie Ruth Battle in memory of Joey Martini in honor of Victoria Schwarts Suzanne Moll and Jeff Seemann George Ostertag Patrick and Elizabeth Petit in memory of Lori Moll JoAnne Nelson in memory of Daniel Patrick Ostertag in memory of Sarah Ellen Petit Maria Molloy in memory of Dianna Jene “Annie” Nelson Carl Ostoin Dorothy Petras in memory of Frank Kalansky Grace and Speed Newman in memory of James (Jim) Ostoin in memory of Teresa Vivian Petras Kathy and Tim Molloy in memory of Ross Newman and Kim Marilyn and George Oswald Sharon and William Pevsner in memory of Amanda Faith Emerson Newman Jones in memory of Steven G. Oswald in memory of Jeffrey Maria and Thomas Monahan Dawn Nicholas Betty and Merlin Oswald Beverly and David Pfeifle in memory of Tommy Monahan in memory of Natalie Nicholas in memory of Tessie Jo Oswald in memory of Jeffery David Pfeifle Lindy Monteleone Kandi Niedzwiecki and Chelsie Leila Otey Claudia and Steve Phillips in memory of Cameron Bailey Firman in memory of Brad Spelman in memory of Tiffanie Amber Collins Moody’s Collision and Restoration in memory of Lyric James Porter Ingrid Otter Valgene Phillips Carolyn M. Moore Pat Nigro in memory of Ken Seibert in memory of Thomas Mark Phillips in memory of Amanda Mae Moore in memory of Joey Nigro, Jr. Ingrid and Rick Otter Linda Piazza Harapan Judy Moore Sue and Frank Nisenfeld in loving memory of Ricky Otter in memory of Jessica Lauren Harapan in memory of Karen Moore Hayden in memory of Andrew Nisenfeld Mary Anne Owens Penny and John Piccolo Lloyd and Jane Moore Charles and Etta Nissman in memory of Mary Kay and her Dad in memory of Matthew Piccolo in memory of Gregory Lloyd Moore and Eileen Nittler Robin and Pete Padavana Diane Pietrzyk Scott Michael Meade Dr. Jeanette Norden in memory of Peter J. Padavana in memory of Thomas S. Pietryzk Mr. and Mrs. Mike Moore in memory of Ryan Wiseman and Paige Judy Pagliaro Pam Pinault in memory of Michael Patrick Moore, Jr. Gibson in memory of Derek Steele in memory of Ben Pinault 4 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Judy Pinsonnault and Bob Pablo Mary Reader Dave and Barbara Rosner Fanny Santos in memory of Nick, Brian and Josh in memory of Lindsey Reader in memory of David R. Rosner in memory of Daylani Santos Rollich Chris Pizzi Linda E. Redding Bernice Ross and Jeramie Rand Ferraris in memory of Liz Wright in memory of Sarah Lynne Redding in memory of Peter Ross David Sarafin Cheri and Gerry Plath Diane and Stephen Reece Lauren Rossi in memory of Francis Nass in memory of Mark Todd Plath in memory of Andrea Dawn Reece in memory of Michael Vincent Sage Karen Sarli Todd Plunkett Elisabeth and Greg Reed Jennifer Roulette in memory of Jonathan Sarli Lynn and Joseph Pokrifka in memory of Kevin Michael Reed in memory of Holly Elizabeth Roulette Donna and John Sasenick Laura and Duke Polcyn Linda Reed Yvonne and Robert Rowan in memory of Scotty Smith in memory of Simon Donald Polcyn in memory of Stephen “Ryan” Reed and in memory of Kurt T. Rowan Ted, Tammy, and Yvette Saul Lisa and Mark Poliski Jeremy Leon Smith Karen Rowand in memory of Brooke Wallace in memory of Catherin Anne Poliski Susan and Matthew Reynolds in memory of Shawn and Cory Brode- Karen Saullo Anna Thomas and Tom Porter in memory of William Vincent Sillman in memory of Christopher Michael Saullo in memory of Willofae M. Elrod Alexander Reynolds Julie Rowlette Brian Savitch Major Gary M. Portnoy Carol Rhodebeck in memory of Millard Marven Rowlette in memory of Figueroa Savitch-Fosse in memory of David Portnoy in memory of Steve Burge, Mel Heckert, Sandra and Henry Rubens Byrd Saylor Denise and Doug Preece Drake Heckert, and Chuck Wachtel in memory of Gary Stephen Rubens in memory of Sam Rosenberg in memory of David James (DJ) Preece Gary Rice Lu and Doyle Ruff Sandra and Martin Scafidi Cheryl Pressly in memory of Sarah Rice in memory of Keri Young in memory of Daniel M. Scafidi in memory of Angela Pressly George Linda Richards Jill and Bob Runke Dr. and Mrs. Emerson Scarborough LeeAnn and David Price Debra and Lee Richardson in memory of Amanda Runke in memory of Sarah Stewart in memory of Dustin Price in memory of Brian Richardson Sandy and Kenny Rupp Scarborough and Mary Ashley David and Denese Price Melody Ridgeway in memory of Chris E. Rupp Scarborough in memory of Ethan Emerson Price Nancy K. Riker Catina and Ross Rupp Lynn and Steve Scartozzi JoAnn Prihoda-Reece Cheryl Lee Rinda in memory of Tracy Lynne Rupp in memory of Christine Scartozzi in memory of Timothy Reece in memory of David C. Bill Peggy and Frank Russell Sharon Scesa Karen Protiva Roberta and Van Ritter in memory of Cheryl Lynn Jardine in memory of Kyle Scesa Teresa Prough in memory of Alexander Evan Ritter Patricia A. Russo Carol A. Schaben in memory of Danielle “D” Prough Rosemary Rivers in memory of Steven C. Belenchia in memory of Dena Ann Carter Shirley Pruitt-Streetman in memory of Gregory Scott Rivers Jeanette Ryan Mr. and Mrs. Dean Schaffer in memory of Gary Pruitt Abby Roberts in memory of Ryan McCray in memory of Kevin Schaffer Linda and Robert Prusko in memory of Duffy St. Pierre Marlene and Tom Rybicki Robin and Bernadette Schendel in memory of Kenneth J. Prusko Jennifer Roberts in memory of Eric Rybicki in memory of Ashley Marie Schendel Mr. and Mrs. John Puchnick in memory of Dave Snepp Eliza Rzeszotarski Dora Ellen Schick in memory of John J. Puchnick Nancy Roberts in memory of Rosanne Rzeszotarski in memory of Michael Ray Cude and Mr. and Mrs. Dennis Puricelli in memory of Dave and Sue Kathleen and Brett Sachse James A. Schick in memory of Emilie E. Puricelli Sherry Roberts in memory of Claire Alexis Sachse Terry and Larry Schleich Susan Quinn in memory of Ryan Spencer Roberts Wendy Sadler in memory of Reece Bradley Schleich in memory of Daniel Stephen Quinn Mary and Vic Roberts in memory of Ronald “Rocky” Goldstein Marie Schmeltzer Vaughan Rachel in memory of Craig Matthew Roberts Caryl and Don Safford in memory of Samuel in memory of Nina Kaprow and Anton and Joshua Evan Roberts in memory of Jared David Knispel Sheryl and Howard Schmidt Kaprow Jaime and Bryan Robinson Donald and Jean Safreed in memory of Allison Schmidt Henry and Deborah Radler in memory of Joshua Michael Robinson in memory of Rachel Anne Safreed Gwen and Keith Schmidt in memory of Patrick Radler Carole A. Robinson Larry Salerno in memory of Kris Schmidt and Kelly Jennifer and Scott Radosevich in memory of Stacy Jo Tague in memory of Darin Salerno Schmidt in memory of Benjamin Radosevich Jane Robinson Vicky and Frank Salituro Linda and Jerry Schnabl Paula and Gene Radtke in memory of Richard Douglas Robinson in memory of Joseph Salituro in memory of Christina Ann Schnabl in memory of David L. Radtke Timothy J. Roche and Cynthia Roche Nancy and Alan Sallman and Jennifer Ginny Scholl Doreen and Patrick Raftery in memory of Madeline Jean Roche Miller in memory of Chad Scholl in memory of Coleen M. Raftery Linda Roden in memory of Jonathon Sallman Mr. and Mrs. Richard Schroeder Dick Ramer in memory of Tony Newell Fredrick Salvato in memory of Jack Schroeder and David in memory of Devon Mark Ramer and Katherine Rodgers in memory of Derrick and Nathan Snepp Jamie Diane Hightower in memory of Jesse M. Rodgers Salvato Jane Schryer Lesley Ramian Lydia Rodriguez Susan Sammons in memory of Sean Michael Smith and in loving memory of Justin Wyatt in memory of Elizabeth Diaz Espada in memory of Jared Lee Sammons Kyle Taylor Smith Ed and Pam Ramspott Marina Rodriguez Mary Sampson/Moody Brian Schulman in memory of Joseph C. Ramspott in memory of Daniel Cole in memory of Steven C. Moody in memory of Sam Rosenberg Terrance Rand Dennis Roelke Nan Sandford Robert W. Schultz in memory of April Rand in memory of Andy Roelke and Michael in memory of Michelle Weidner Sandford, Greg and Wendy Schultz Todd and Susie Randles Philip Roelke Tim Howland, and Chris Mangrove in memory of Josh Schultz and Brynn in memory of Shynia Randles Wilma W. Rojas Nahma Sandrow Engstrom Bertram Raphael in memory of Luke Rojas Brian and Bobbi Sanoshy Patricia Schumacher in memory of Katherine L. Raphael Debra Romans in memory of Alexis Sanoshy Vickie and Norm Schuring Susan Rapp in memory of Brett William Hatch Connie and Ken Sansone in memory of Michael J. Schuring in memory of Eric R. Lawton Dale K. Rose in memory of Nicholas Sansone Janet and Fred Schutzman Darlene (Keck) Rasmussen in memory of Brian Franklin Rose Katherine Santangelo in memory of Julie Freidberg in memory of Rob Keck Ed Rose in memory of Justin Martin Piatt Jan and Fred Raynaud in memory of Kaylin Rose Michael and Martha Santoro (continued on page 44) in memory of Jamisen Liberty Raynaud Sam Rosenberg in memory of Paula Rosina Santoro in memory of Michael Rosenberg We Need Not Walk Alone|4 3

(continued from page 43) Ann Sienko Mr. and Mrs. Robert Soussi Mildred Sudarsky in memory of Jill Sienko in memory of Leslie Ann Soussi in memory of Donna Sudarsky Patty and David Schwartz John and Jayne Siever Anita Sparano Demet and Taclan Suerdem in memory of Andrew J. Schwartz and in memory of Tom C. Siever in memory of Helene Bonsignore and in memory of Sevi Suerdem Michael W. Carley Susan Silverman Patricia Bonsignore JB Sumner Elizabeth Schwartz in memory of Karen Lee Silverman Roberta Spencer in memory of David Sumner in memory of James Gordon Lisa Simmons in memory of Agnes and Robert Johnson Irene and Fred Sutton Arlene Schwarz in memory of Tessa Ann Simmons Christine and Stephen Spiro in memory of Jim Sutton in memory of Dale Schwarz Sue and Phil Simonson in memory of Logan Gentry Nancy Swart and Ron Rachesky Mary and Ken Scislowicz in memory of Kyle Davis Simonson Don and Lue Splittorff in memory of Eric Swart Rachesky in memory of Carrie Lynn Scislowicz Susan Simpson in memory of Brandon K. Splittorff Susan Switalski Deborah and Timothy Scott in memory of Austin Krider Rose Marie and Gene Sprando in memory of Andrew Justin Switalski in memory of Justin Stewart Scott Ginny and Walt Simpson in memory of Richard and Rebecca Diane Taden Ed and Mary Beth Scully in memory of Greg Simpson Sprando in memory of Aaron Meier in memory of Timothy E. Scully Ruth and Tom Sines Lee and Jean Spratt Gary and Cathie Tani Paulines Seales in memory of Joshua Jay Sines Susan M. St. Denny in memory of Christopher Sadao Tani in memory of Pippin Seales Janis Siravo in memory of Jeffrey J. Hanns Margaret H. Tatusko Catherine and Mike Seckington in memory of Christian Siravo Roberta and Anthony Stagliano in memory of Marcia Jeanne Cline in memory of Katie Seckington Tom and Carmela Slivinski Audrey Stanley Eric and Alisa Taylor Joanne Segebarth in memory of Francesca Slivinski in memory of John W. Craven in memory of Alex K. Taylor in memory of Roger Segebarth Gail and Stan Slobodien Sandy and Dennis Stanley George Taylor Leslie Segi Shayna Slone in memory of Jon Christopher Stanley in memory of Shawn Taylor in memory of Alan Williams in memory of Mason Dean Slone and and Stone Whitener Kimberly Taylor Allen Segrist Jeremiah Jay Spell John Stapleton in memory of Tiffanie Collins in memory of James W. and Anne L. Karen Smerling in memory of Chelsea Margaret Peg and John Taylor Segrist in memory of Brian William Tuzik Jean and Roman Statz in memory of Jamie Nannig and Stewart Senator Glenn and Melba Smit in memory of Brian Statz Bridgett Taylor in memory of Stephen Eric Senator in memory of Henry Charles Smit Kathy and Jerry Steiner Kathy Tender Mary Sennholtz Hodges and Judy Smith in memory of Jay Michael Steiner in memory of Scott Potthoff in memory of Jason Edward Mehalko in memory of Tyler Leger Stan and Darlene Stender Tennyson Family Foundation Sherry Setty Cecile and Jerry Smith in memory of Troy J. Stender Patricia and Mark Terry in memory of Melissa Anne Hinkley in memory of Christian Hyun Smith Gray and Susan Stephens Rae and Mark Therrien Todd Severud Linda and Leonard Smith in memory of Thomas G. Stephens in memory of Matthew Therrien in memory of Syd Hanson in memory of Christopher T. Smith Gwen Stetson Eileen, Tom and Karen Therrien Patti Seydel Mary Smith in memory of Tyler Stetson in memory of Dean Thomas Therrien in memory of Justin Lee Clayton in memory of Tucker Smith Ruth and Terry Stevig Thomas Reuters Lynne Leopold-Sharp and Dan Sharp Michelle Smith in memory of David Andrew Stevig in support of Jenny Weigel in memory of Caroline Losi Sharp Robert and Janet Smith Dan Stewart Gladys L. Thomas-Strother Rose and Norman Sharp in memory of Kristi Smith Wainscott in memory of Mark Douglas Stewart in memory of Brandon F. Carter in memory of Diana Sharp Robert L. Smith David J. Stewart John and Bertilla Thompson Madeline and Robert Sharples in memory of Christopher Ashley in memory of Timothy Paul Stewart in memory of Aaron Jack Thompson Brenda and Larry Shay Scott Smith Laurie Stirone Cynthia and Phil Thompson in memory of Natalie Elise Shawammlein in memory of Gage Bauer in memory of Brian Estrella in memory of Branden Thompson Helen Sheahan Stephen Smith Jean Stives Brock and Kathy Thompson in memory of Michael Sheahan, in memory of Jonathan Guilbeau in memory of Hec Stives in memory of Robert “Robby” Bushey Michael Roelke, and Andrew Roelke Stephen Smith Marlene Stokes Dale D. LeClair and Mae Beth E. Greg and Barb Sheehy in memory of Matt LeBlanc in memory of Darren Stokes Malmquist in memory of Todd Seth Kathi and James Smock Fran and Norm Stone Jonnie and Keith Thrower Diana and David Shelton in memory of David James Smock in memory of John “Matt” Stone Karen and Alan Thursby in memory of Mindy Lea Shelton Nancy Snedaker Claire McCoy and Jim Stoops in memory of Sarah Beth Thursby Dian Shihady in memory of Jeffrey R. Call, Jr. in memory of Amy Sturgill Elaine Timbers in memory of Mark Shihady Mary and Marty Solomon Wynne Stovall in memory of Christopher and Kathy and John Shoucair in memory of Gabriel Solomon in memory of David B. Stovall Brendean Timbers in memory of Jeffrey Ryan Shoucair Dianne, Daniel and Joshua Solomon Peggy and Lewis Strader Judith Tinelli Marian and Blaine Shull in memory of Zachary Solomon in memory of Christopher Lewis Strader in memory of Malcolm (Mike) Ross Ronald Sibley Helen Solomon Nancy Stratton Shirley Tippie in memory of Laurie Jean Sibley in memory of Philip Solomon in memory of James Stratton and Jared in memory of Charlie Tippie Mr. Philip Sieck John Sommerfield Andrade Sue and Joe Tisi in memory of Lauren Virginia Sieck in memory of Nicholas Andrew Nancy and Arthur Stratton in memory of Christian Martinisi and Larry Siegel Sommerfield Gundars and Astrida Strautnieks Tonia Faenza in memory of Catherine Siegel Cindy Sommerhause in memory of Monika Strautnieks/Voits Sue and Ed Toland Sandra Siegel in memory of Adam W. Sommerhause Lorna and Richard Strudell in memory of Amy Toland in memory of Nicholas Walczak Jerome Sonnabend in memory of Miles Leo Daniel Elizabeth and Robert Tolley Sandra Siegel in memory of Leslie Ann Sonnabend Tami Stukey in memory of Alan Clark Tolley in memory of Daniel Lee Banks Mr. William Sonterre in memory of Josh Hess and Tate Martha and Carl Tomanelli Deacon Craig and Anne Marie Alix Sorrel Niswanger in memory of Kristin Marie Underkoffler Siegman in memory of Reggie Staples Mary Stull in memory of Keith Riley Joseph Sortino in memory of Carolyn, Audrey, Patrick, (continued on page 46) Paul, Karen and Tanya 4 4 |We Need Not Walk Alone

The Compassionate Friends Closed Facebook Groups The Compassionate Friends offers a variety of closed Facebook Groups. These pages are moderated by bereaved parents, siblings, or grandparents, and may not be accessed unless a request to join is approved by a moderator. These pages were established to encourage connection and sharing among parents, grandparents, and siblings grieving the death of a child, grandchild or sibling. © lola1960/fotolia.com TCF – Loss of a Child TCF - Loss to Suicide Moderators: Jennifer Dixon, Janet Ferjo, Donna Goodrich, Moderators: Donna Adams, Donna McGrew Anderson, and Goody Tendall Leanna Leyes, Barbara Reboratti, and Mary Ann Ward https://www.facebook.com/groups/407123299460580/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/100315106988458/ TCF – Loss of a Stepchild TCF - Loss to Homicide Moderator: Babe Muro Moderators: Pete Dorough, Rebecca Perkins, and Dawn https://www.facebook.com/groups/1615569958699734/ Wassel https://www.facebook.com/groups/924779440868148/ TCF – Loss of a Grandchild Moderators: Debbie Fluhr and Jennifer “Sue” Hale TCF – Loss of a Child with Special Needs https://www.facebook.com/groups/421759177998317/ Moderators: Donna Reagan https://www.facebook.com/groups/1150750608285413/ The Compassionate Friends Sounds of the Siblings (for bereaved siblings) TCF – Loss to Long-term Illness Moderators: Tracy Milne Edgemon and Keith Singer Moderator: Debbie Gossen https://www.facebook.com/groups/21358475781/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/833665880062696/ TCF – Men in Grief TCF – Loss to Mental Illness Moderators: Gary Odle and Mark Rambis Moderators: Sherry Cox and Annette Swestyn https://www.facebook.com/groups/1614661475452607/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481781792114726/ TCF – Grandparents Raising their Grandchildren TCF – Loss to a Drunk/Impaired Driver Moderator: Diana Marie Moderators: Michelle Arrowood and Robin Landry https://www.facebook.com/groups/1811379385769506/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/858226880883307/ TCF – Sudden Death TCF – Loss to Cancer Moderators: Carol Ladouceur, Bettie-Jeanne Rivard-Darby, Moderator: Rita Studzinski and Dana Young https://www.facebook.com/groups/903539646362818/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/103330700152910/ TCF – Loss of Your Only Child/All Your Children TCF – Loss to Miscarriage or Stillbirth Moderators: Becky Barch, Joannie Kemling and Tonja Knobel Moderators: Libby Hall and Kelly Kittel https://www.facebook.com/groups/976514755722145/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1416535188654265/ TCF – Crafty Corner TCF - Infant and Toddler Loss Moderators: Gail Lafferty and Kathy Rambo Moderators: Julia West and Deanna Wheeler https://www.facebook.com/groups/663193450477232/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1511758585777339/ The Compassionate Friends Chapter Leadership TCF - Loss to Substance Related Causes (for anyone currently serving on a Chapter steering Moderators: Barbara Allen, Karen Colangelo, Mary Lemley, committee) and Karen Zaorski Moderator: Debbie Rambis https://www.facebook.com/groups/1515193738693712/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1422251371371148/ TCF - Sibling Loss to Substance Related Causes Moderators: Barbara Allen, Kristy Flower, and Andrea Keller https://www.facebook.com/groups/1516508415263760/ We Need Not Walk Alone|4 5

TCF Board of Directors (continued from page 44) Larry and Julie Vogt in memory of Grant Vogt Glen Lord Brian Janes Dianna and Jeff Tomlinson Robert Volkay President Olathe, KS in memory of Naia “Noonie” Colette in memory of Zachary and Matthew Nashua, NH Tomlinson Volkay Tracy Milne Edgemon Gary and Donna Toomire Nancy Voss Barbara Allen Sibling Representative in memory of Jonathan Toomire in memory of Brett and Scott Voss Vice President Estero, FL Catherine Topolski Susan and R.J. Wagner Ellicott City, MD in memory of Alan Hoffman, Sr. in memory of Ryder and Levi Marie Levine Ms. Judith A. Topolski Mary Lou Wagstaff Jacquie Edwards-Mitchell New York, NY in memory of Michael W. Topolski in memory of Sarah Margaret Wagstaff Treasurer TPAC Underwriters, Inc. Heidi and John Walker Steve Parker Paul and Bridie Tracy in memory of Charles Bates, Katie Brooklyn, NY Woodland Hills, CA in memory of Paul Jr. and Tom Tracy Lynndee Eckert and Angela Kay Miller Peggy and Tim Trant Alice and Reuben Waller Ann Khadalia Debbie Rambis in memory of Ryan Matthew Trant in memory of Jonathan Waller and Maj. Secretary Spring, TX Lynn and Gary Trapp Lee Dufford Harley in memory of Jeremy Nicholas Trapp Jennifer and Doug Walner Concord, CA Allie Sims Franklin Travelers Employee Giving Campaign in memory of Rocket Williams Federal Way, WA Fay and Phil Trowbridge Molly and Bob Walsh Art Estrella in memory of Cheryl Jardine in memory of Andrew Walsh West Covina, CA David and Connie Truelsch Walt Disney in memory of Rebecca in support of Christine Petrie Heidi Horsley Mary Lee and George Truesdale Lorraine Walter New York, NY in memory of Scott Truesdale in memory of Daniel Thomas Walter Kaern and Mehmet Tumay Jeanne and Bob Walz Alan Pedersen in memory of Peri Tumay in memory of Kelly Jeanne Thompson Executive Director Julie M. and Garry E. Tuttle Anne Walz Calvey in memory of Troy A. Tuttle in memory of Annie Lois Kortsch dRoseville, CA Don and Julie Uhles Susan Wareham TCF Staff in memory of Adam Uhles in memory of Michael Wareham © viperagp/fotolia.com UnitedHealth Group Deborah and Richard Warner Terry Novy Julie Uribe in memory of Joshua Warner Director of Chapter Services in memory of David Alexander Uribe Murray and Iris Warren Mr. and Mrs. Dilawar Uthman in memory of April Warren Page Cathy Seehuetter in memory of Laila Uthman Lawrence Warter Executive Assistant to the Executive Director Bettie Valenzuela in memory of Anthony Longo in memory of Tyler Ray Cobb Cathy and Fred Wayand Theresa Mendez Sarah Vallaro in memory of Timothy Frederick Wayand Accounting and Database Coordinator in memory of Damon Vallaro Steven Weatherford Ann and Bill Van Cleave in memory of Herman Lehman Sara Zeigler in memory of Alexander Roehl Van Cleave Nancy Weaver Communications Coordinator Karla Van Dyke in memory of Stacey in memory of Mark van Dyke Trish and Matt Webb Darlene Lutka Doris E. Van Meter in memory of Tanner Webb Receptionist and Administrative Assistant in memory of Dale S. Van Meter Vangness/Weigel family Kathryn and David van Rooyen in memory of Syd Hanson Joan Ireland in memory of Noah Jeremiah Israel Shank Fred Weisgerber Executive Administrative Assistant and Libby van Rooyen in memory of Rebecca Millard Donna Vanderhei Mark Weiss Ryan Paroline in memory of Troy Vanderhei in memory of Or Oved-Weiss Program Assistant Debby Vantassel, Brian Smith and Travis Joan and Stanley Weiss Vantassel in memory of Jonathan P. Weiss Correspondence for The Compassionate Friends Staff in memory of Rhiannon Vantassel Rudy Weissberg should be sent to: TCF National Office, Nancy Varella-Lendway in memory of Rudy Weissberg, Jr. in memory of Vito Joseph Curreri Judy and B-Chen Wen 1000 Jorie Boulevard, Suite 140, Oak Brook, IL 60523 Amelia Vargas-Field in memory of Felix Wen in memory of Michael John Vargas Varda and Arnie Wendroff McGrann in memory of Lauren Michelle Wendroff Donna Vickers Constance Wentworth in memory of Evan Matthew Vickers in memory of Anthony P. Longo Vietnamese Baptist Church of Chicago Barbara F. Wessels in memory of Anthony P. Longo in memory of Roger H. Matos Karla and Rich Vogel Howard A. West in memory of Bailey Vogel in memory of Carianne Baklarz-Gleason Clara and Clifford Vogt Hilary and Louis West in memory of Dave Snepp and in honor of in memory of Colin West Sue, Karl and Karen Snepp Martha West in memory of Andrew MacPherson West 4 6 |We Need Not Walk Alone

Robert and Martina West Karen Wolf We Need Not Walk Alone in memory of Serena in memory of Brad Wolf Sheryl and Stanley Westerman Kim and Randy Wolken To have material considered for publication, send to: in memory of Darren Craig Westerman in memory of Adam Wolken [email protected] WGN-TV Susan Wollesen or TCF National Office, WNNWA in support of JoAnn Prihoda-Reece in memory of Cathy Wollesen PO Box 3696 Georgia Whaley Annette and David Womer Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696 in memory of Tracy Jean Whaley in memory of Brad D. Womer Editor Jerry and Carolyn Wheaton Glenda Wood Cathy Seehuetter in memory of Matthew Wheaton in memory of Melinda Beth Wood Designer Joy White Tim and Trey Wood Sara Zeigler in memory of Mark Schreck in memory of Jacob A. Shafer Linda and Roger White Robert Woodbury TCF National Office in memory of Lucia Edwards White in memory of Lauren Woodbury 1000 Jorie Blvd, Suite 140 Stephanie White Bitsy Woods in memory of Johanna White in memory of Matt Woods Oak Brook, IL 60523 Patricia and Walter White Herlin and Rebecca Woolery (630) 990-0010 in memory of Randy Carter White and in memory of Sarah Rachel Woolery (877) 969-0010 Aaron Scott White, Sr. Susan Workman Willard White in memory of Emily Workman (630) 990-0246 fax in honor of Naomi Santamore Jennifer Worthington [email protected] Karen Whitman in memory of Kaitlyn Worthington in memory of Benjamin Eugene Whitman Leston Wright www.compassionatefriends.org Gina Whitsel in memory of Richard M. Wright in memory of Matthew David Campagna Judith Billings Wriston Copyright © 2017 The Compassionate Friends, Inc. Carlotta “Liza” Wick Rice in memory of Rodney Robinson Billings All rights reserved. We encourage the reprinting of in memory of Buff Wick and Taylor William Wyre individual articles, unless specified “one time only,” but ask Her family and all her friends in memory of John A. Wyre that proper credit be given to We Need Not Walk Alone. in memory of Lisa Wieder Cisituang Yan This magazine is not to be reproduced for distribution Donna and Geoff Wiegman in memory of Yves-Laurent Muls without written permission from the National Office. in memory of Karen F. Wiegman Lucinda M. Yanke-Erbs James and Virginia Wieland in memory of Alicia M. Yanke We Need Not Walk Alone|4 7 in memory of David Wieland Maochun Ye and Qian Zhang Randy and Nancy Wilkey Mary Yepsen in memory of Seth Wayne Michael in memory of Nate Yepsen Wilkey Judy and Roger Ynostroza Joyce and Dan Willenborg in memory of Gabriel Ynostroza in memory of Elizabeth Ann Willenborg Dee-Etta Young Angela Williams in memory of Jefferey J. Jimenez in memory of Damaro F. Lewis, II Annd Ford Young Jill and Gregg Williams in memory of Kendall Young in memory of Morgan Leigh Williams Mr. Richard A. Young Nancy and Jack Williams Jane Zaccardi in memory of Jeffrey M. Williams and in memory of Tom Nesbihal Gregory M. Williams Rev. Richard Zajac Barbara and Jim Williams Andy and Ilana Zalkin in memory of Gregory Dean Williams in memory of Michael Benjamin Zalkin and Kimberly Dawn Williams Michael Zanger Sandra Williamson in memory of Sierra Zanger in memory of Christopher Williamson Larry Zanoni Sally Wilmeth and Terry Geurkink in memory of Nicole Zanoni in memory of Jenni and Kyle Geurkink John Zavislak Dan Wilson in memory of Lukasz Zavislak in memory of Greg Crawford Wilson Carolyn and Tom Zimmerman Deborah Wilson in memory of Brian Zimmerman in memory of Linn F. Lemmel Barbara Zinman Sue Wilson in memory of Alison Weingarten in memory of Allie Tease MJ Zonfrillo Sue Ellen Wilson in memory of Michael A. Zonfrillo, III in memory of Stephanie Jean Fiorino Nick and Carol Zorka Loretta and Jerry Winters in memory of Brent Zorka in memory of Don Bruce Winters Ronna Wisbrod © viperagp/fotolia.com in memory of Hadyn Wisbrod Nancy and Daniel Wisley in memory of Adam Wisley Carol and Carl Wojciechowski in memory of Adam Scott Wojciechowski

The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting Join us on December 10, 2017 “... that their light may always shine.\" PO Box 3696 · Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696 877.969.0010 compassionatefriends.org