rarissime

rarissime vol 01 est 2020

ra • ri • ssi • me extremely rare

coup d’œil Glimpse of What Lies Ahead happy birthday! as you turn these pages, you’ll feel nostalgic kasi you’ll somehow relive the past moments and “highlights” of our story. idk if nameet ko description na sinabi ko sayo na “lahat” pero i tried my best to put everything here pero i think i failed kasi there’s so much more about you and about us pa. but i hope i did do you justice sa mga nakalagay.

v explosion box 86 how we started hbd mahal 14 memory lane 2166 random stuff 32 wabi sabi 34 Bible Journey

Contents

since i kept teasing you about giving you an explosion box as a birthday gift, here you go! i swore on this so enjoy this box even if its digital hehe <3 hbd mahal page 13

HOW WE STARTED page 5 memory lane page 15

HOW WE Wed Sep 18 ktmwahhinaetaedagrbdbifunoaorsatnot”hg,.mhaakkuysmansus.oymyiwothaiusfhaidssnotetawkha,sot“hesbtbaoediuggot“ddiuobiadnrfunanfta’grihtiaetedwhinhneaadeaapy.smlp,sktaenhiidnldaaagdtkhckianiidhnmtgaaadiryiatlnaassiiysyiidgrsoeuefgsao,r”oarti hdeidhnet. want that to happen naman kila charlays mnanaaygitwicawayal,stthhouainrtgf“itrtishntagtipneharans”popnweaanlseindttheetroamcutosiso,tncsmopnaescsiidagelrraainbndge tttnbyaihuaaoyenlnilokgonasttgnacesefpnofinoteafescirnwtpyneeas,avonakepiatatrlniefnfognecaenglurttaessflrkislkoiaaueelnhdrng.ridwtosaeutesannvywdeawoiertneyirngseanbduiioganissthh.haati’pltdsan-sareailseostahwicnarksimsabihepyoida-at kalandian natin sa hagdan haha! hnuwowawjmunusaaeehsargtpattwifhphnttgaeaieotnakwlomdtnugyegkaiuoblnahaogcmnuatokactnspakaloetela!el,fdacihrnbgiolnfdeioulnptgnihoteda’askeststainlawooshsntgnaoiueicyklcbhybearcae!oawnechtai.slhkheifhsn,etfugsoreou-esofrrl ‘It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.’

STARTED AFTERMATHthe next day, i think it was lunch time and i was wearing my green sweater tapos nasa may “lobby” kami ng second floor talking to our galileo friends when i saw you and reg sa dulo nung hallway sa mismong stairs. it felt weird kasi i know na reg was looking at me and she seemed papunta para kausapin ako and i got somehow scared and weirded out kasi bakit siya mangangausap. + i’m super sure na sakin nakatingin hehehe tapos parang pinipigilan mo siya. fast forward sa nasa canteen na kami. we were sitting in the table in front of chicken popcorn tapos si joshue, he went to buy shake. tapos nilapitan niyo siya ni reg, and talked to him about his sim- ilarities with stanley. at ako, ami- nadong nakatingin sayo, like sayo lang talaga. luh landi. then pau- lit-ulit ka nagsasalita ng “kamukha tbh if quarantine didn’t happen, i ni stanley diga” habang ang likot wouldn’t have any knowledge about ng mata mo kasi di ko alam kung this “tattoo”, which says Shiozawa, sino tinatanong mo samin ni reg that you did on your hand…right af- at joshue(?)..turns out nagpapa- ter we saw each other. eluh crush na pansin ka pala non amp amfee! crush ako. hahaha puta ang feeling! pero legit, after this incident mas du- mami ang personal interactions natin.

BEFORE THE PERSONAL INTERACTION we both know na nag-iinteract na tayo sa social media before we met each other…you liked some of my tweets, kahit mga nonsense hmmm, and i liked a couple din dahil sy- empre that’s how i harot back pero witty tweets naman yun. tapos we discovered na we became facebook friends last Nov 21 2018, after we had notifications on the same day last year nung nasa LPU Main ng morning. then naalala mo na nasa list ng suggested friends account ko tapos may bangs pa ako non ew, but you said i was cute luh. btw, hindi lang tong tatlo ang nilike mo, di lang kasya lahat bakit ba!? anyway,yung tweet na ginawa mong “sign” para ichat ako ay....

SEP 22 SUNDAY our first conversation i tweeted “katalk katalk katalk” since yun yung ringtone sa kakaotalk pero ang pagkakagets mo is i’m looking for kausap amp hahaha. wala namang reklamo, nagbunga din naman lol look! isn’t it amazing how our fates were entangled years ago and we didn’t have any idea, we’d have this huge impact on each other. ‘So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.’

this two (convo + 4 hrs) were right after the first day of dami alam charot! us talking. we were both amazed kasi first call natin tas four hours agad lol i didn’t really want to say goodbye or anything kaya i ended up sleeping in the middle of our call, hence, the nickname sleepy head. after this, calls became our thing. dati night lang pero during quarantine walang mintis hashahshasa maliban kapag galit ka charot! SEPTEMBER 23 MONthis one was a schoolday ata pero ilang weeks na after. we both dozed off tapos nagising ka na lang sa sound ng plato and kutsara na nagcclash. after this naulit din ng madaming times na nakakatulog tayo then nagigising ng midnight tapos dun nalabas yung ayos na chika. ngayon we don’t do this na dahil ang lakas mo humarok....ay ako pala amp hahaha!

WHAT HAPPENEDNEXT WAS NOT SO GOOD but after all those moments, things didn’t go smoothly as we thought it would. first hang out pa lang tapos lagapak agad, charot hehe. but we both know it was a hell of a ride. lots of drunk nights, sober thoughts, cut ties and sneak outs just to keep it lowkey. right now we are each oth- er’s vault and shadow. baby we can’t lose each other, not now, not ever. but here we are now! pucha haha i can say na effective nga ang dalawang gayuma! ay!

hbd mahal happee birthdae mahal. thank you for keeping up with my weirdness like how i greeted you. at sa putanginang kaconyohan na di ko alam ang schedule ng pagsulpot. sa totoo lang i really don’t know how to write a long sweet hbd message, so alam mo na…. kahit na quarantine pa rin, i hope i somehow made your day special. alam ko na sobrang ingay ko about sa gift sayo. i was very nervous kasi, kasi baka di mo mabet or ewan whatever alam ko naman na bet mo. baby, my love for you is ineffable. 2001 Oct 31 as cliche as it may sound, words Wednesday aren’t enough to describe my feel- ings for you. even “mahal kita” is an understatement. failing to show the love i have for you is my fear everyday. takot ako na baka hindi sapat ang pagpaparamdam ko sayo kung gaano ka kahalaga sakin. takot ako na magkaroon ka ng madaming duda dahil kulang ang assurance na binibigay ko. baby, i want to give you all the happiness and love this world could give kasi you deserve it all mahal. and through the ups and downs of our lives, you have me and my whole heart baby, you always had. ‘i love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.’ here’s to more birthdays we celebrate together, for life.



MLMALEAEMN

OMNMNO ERYERY

i remember sending you these codes on the night CODES of May 7. your overthinking became a handful for QRyou, so i thought of making something to enter- tain and calm your anxiety. you enjoyed it naman! content na lang cause i can’t find the codes na

sunsets became our thing when we get emotional or sentimental or sad pag hapon. you took the left pic while i was sleeping and sent it to me with a long message which reminds me of my worth. thank you baby, for diving in my thoughts and not letting me drown in those. i took the second pic while thinking of you but i think i forgot to send it haha. right after we ate siomai <3 kassy and i walked and i took this pic. ‘all i think of ever is that i love you.’ SSSUUUNNNSSSEEETTTSSS



MEMOIRS

BABY CHR there’s a lot of things going on sa previous page. i know “namelt” heart mo sa baby pictures natin ‘together’. nung una sabi ko isa or dalawang pics lang na ieedit to- gether pero nacutean din ako at napasarap sa paggawa. my personal favorite is the one where i was wearing my pink jacket tapos nakapamewang ka sa tabi. anuga mukhang sinundo ako ng boyfriend ko sa airport. look at the second upper picture naman. parang kukulbitin ni baby Hannah ang pututoy ni baby Jed. ampota utas! konting lapit pa eh hahaha hannah all. tapos hoy dun sa bottom picture. you said na mukha kang nawawalang bata dun, edi ayun tinabihan kita. yun nga lang mukha ding nawawala hahaha. anuga Jed, tabi! sasagasaan sa slide eh hahaha! dapat yung pic na nakasunglass ka kaso i can’t find it eh. though medyo sala kasi i look older na sayo sa pictures na yan when in fact mas matanda ka naman, obviously, boomer. upper left pic! kasasabi mo lang right now na we have the same number of teeth pero i recounted, i have three and you have four naman. below upper left pic hihi, mukhang akong talanding kinikilig hahaha, tapos ikaw chinitong pacute, amp! cute naman. last, upper right pic! tinakluban ang nipslip hahaha. pakandong naman babyquoh <33! then sa right netong page mismo! how it started vs. how it’s going, charot! liz uy can never luh. kidding asideeee, we cute baby. sunod na niyan ay pag naka- graduate na tayo ng college hihi, syempre mauuna ka. baby, i’ll support you all throughout your journey. we’ll take the steps to our successes, together forever.

RONICLES



RARNEEOATESLLO

pano ko ba sisimulan how important this movie is for the both of us. grabe. i think it was November? nagrewatch ka ng Sid & Aya and you said na parang kwento natin siya. then tiningnan natin ibang details and the fuck sumasakto halos, situation, feelings, Japan keme lol. + the soundtrack hay puta eargasm. ang lakas ng dating, lagi! it never fails to mesmerize us. hay. then sa hearts na yan, sa school library, yours (rainbow heart) says “ayaabyu, my weirdo”. it was a thursday i think, tinanong mo ko kung napadpad na ba ako sa lib tas sabi ko mayang time namin don. nagulat ako and syempre kinilig. then i replied, “daisuki” which means i like you, a lot sid. ayun nasa may en- trance ng lib and gitna nung wall ang lowkey kalandian natin.





i know the editing is shitty but i tried my best pero ayaw na ng balakang ko umupo. ok? we both know how fascinated you are with the aviation world, and i will stand beside you as you follow and reach for your dreams. baby, i will follow you to the ends of the world. i will pray forever for your utmost safety from the moment you fly until you come home. i know you’ll miss me all times so, i’ll cut up my heart, wear it every damn time.

SWE this is probably the most important thing in our relationship ever. it it since you were kinda doubting me pero i forgot na. anyway, this words is. then right after, you said something like “yun na lang gawi aga ng truth satin kapag may doubts or anything.” as of now, wala p box na swear ko naman ay nasa first part ng magazine na to haha!

EAR t became our thing, accidentally! i remember i was the one who said s was my ‘sign’ of honesty ever since i learned how impactful those in nating parang pinakamabigat na promise na nagsysymbolize tal- pa naman tayong nabbreak na swear...i think? hahaha! the explosion ! i don’t break my swears! and here i swear to never break a swear!

WA Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imper- fections, you can create an even stronger, more 金継ぎbeautiful piece of art.

ABI SABIfinding beauty within the imperfections of life and 侘寂accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay. Jed, lagi mo sinasabi noon, at paminsan ngayon, how broken you are as a person. alam natin na that mindset of yours, affects how we deal with problems sometimes. but baby, you are far better than who you were before. i’m so proud of you for bringing yourself up from that situation. thank you for letting me witness your improvement as a person. baby you may be broken before, but you have filled those cracks with gold, and you became a much more beautiful person. and ven with those broken pieces, my feelings for you are constant. i have always loved you, and when i say i love you, i love the whole person. we may have cracks from our rela- tionships before, but together let’s fill those with gold, and bring the best out of each other. always.

BIB after you were hospitalized you became more conscious of what you put into your body, but moreover to your mind and soul. remember how noisy your thoughts were that you couldn’t sleep at night because of your anxiety. darling, we managed to get through all that, together, and with Him. that night, you asked me what can you do to fight the thoughts with His words. i immediately bragged about how I started 2019 with Bible Devotionals, pero di ko din naman natuloy, amp. right after, you were amazed kasi di mo naisip na i do things like that, salamat sa duda ah. i could say this ride was the most essential one. sa araw-araw dito tayo nahugot ng lakas and ng pahinga from God’s love and protection. this tool was the most powerful thing whichchangedyou,us.ourdoubtsandhopelessnesswerefilledwithfaithandassurance. not only us were changed, but also kapag we, but especially you, spread His words sa chat or shares or retweets. i remember you said na you helped your friends through the verses that you share. grabe diba. the power it gave us to help people see hope in times like this. anyway, we planned to do Devotionals every night and alternately picking what plan to choose. we started from having Devotionals about anxiety, and doubt, to purpose, hope and love. as of now we already finished 39 plans in 21 weeks! to more Devotionals bebequoh! thank you because you helped me sa journey ko on learning how to forgive. and to not hold grudges to those who wronged me. for staying with me at my lowest times, for still believing the good in me. salamat, mahal. until the very end, we will help each other to get through our lowest times and syempreee with His help! Only God knows how much I love you mahal.

BjLoEurney this became one of the turning points in your life and i became a witness of the whole process. this journey you had was definitely not easy. a lot changed, legit a lot. your ways before were changed, for the better. yun nga lang syempre may downside din. your anxiety and overthinking got super lala to the point na sobrang praning about sa lahat ng stuff ka na. i am very thankful to God kasi hindi ka niya pinabayaan sa ganoong situation. i remember noong i looked for a pulmonologist sa twitter jusko how ironic pero i luv twitter. out of the five pulmonologists i’ve dmed, two replied and one constantly replies pa rin when i give queries. God bless that man, Doc Blanco! so now ang ganda na ng baga mo, like how your doctor stated before. ay ano ga syempre hindi ka na babalik sa dating gawi, i know that. but still a reminder, please take care of your health-- mind, soul, and body. i know you learned your lesson na.

TODAY‘s i really hope you liked my gift, legit na hope. i’m really into putting ‘my own touch’ sa gifts because they add more value and effort ganon. and syempre sayo ko yan ibibigay so effort na bhie. this was the third i think sa list ng ideas ko. i was supposed to give one more gift kaso hello i’m 4ever broke so...i made one na lang hehe. i’ll make bawi though, there’s lots of birthdays to celebrate together pa naman duh. gandang ganda ako sa gawa ko sa totoo lang. yabang amputa pero i’ll make another one and use it as a display in my room haha. idk i think what i’m saying right now is nonsense and not for a magazine pero... you’ll read it naman.... my next gift is this one, the magazine. i got this idea from my batchmate tapos dalawa sila na gumawa so syempre my broke ass said try that na lang hehe. and the last gift is of course, yours truly. amp. rume. though legit ikaw naman kasi lagi ang nagsasabi... anyway, i hope i gave you memorable pres- ents and i hope you enjoy us. haha these pala muna, oof. hbd baby!

these are just a bit of the pictures pero ayon paglimpse keme lang. you know un- sGANAP comfy i am in front of the camera so i try my best not to be awkward and i think i fail every time. ty for today baby, to more photographs (for sure) ahead.

end note i don’t know what to say anymore since nasa- bi ko na ata lahat ng gusto at need ko sabihin. i’ve finally overcome the phase na di ko alam pano ilabas feels ko vocally. hehe. i know you don’t have doubts on my love for you pero i hope this strengthens it more na wala ng kahit anong thought na pumasok sa isip mo na ga- non. know that i am never not thinking of how much i love you. things aren’t going to be easy along the way, we both know that. but we shouldn’t be afraid because we will both overcome those together and with God. happy birthday mahal. ‘Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.’ major end note, when is the date ba!? i hope it’s 30, oof charot. yours, Hannah Shiozawa

thank you arigathanks ng super aiko, micah, gela, naya, eumi, kassy, charlays. for always replying and giving opinions about my works hehe v ty. also to these books A Thousand Splendid Suns, Anna Karenina, Gone with the Wind, Lolita, Love in the Time of Cholera, Much Ado About Nothing, Rabbi Ben Ezra, Rebecca, The Alchemist, The Beautiful and the Damned, The Road, for helping me express my thoughts and feelings in words. :* <3