Sentience | Volume No. 1

sentience LITERARY FOLIO OF SIRMATA VOLUME 1

Sentience VOLUME 1 IS THE LITERARY FOLIO OF SIRMATA, THE OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF MARIANO MARCOS STATE UNIVERSITY COLLEGE STUDENTS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ALL MATERIALS CONTAINED IN THIS PUBLICATION BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE AUTHORS AND ARTISTS. NO MATERIAL MAY BE REPRODUCED AND/OR COPIED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS. LAYOUT BY NEIL BRYANT BALIAO COVER ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

editor's note Is it possible to transform our feelings into words? Will it convey the same feeling to the readers? I am not certain with the answer but the only thing I am certain of is that, the art of structuring words could engender sundry definition of emotions. This may not be a collective ideology and words may have its own way of expressing itself but “emotion-ed” words are not meant to be just read but felt. May these lines trace a life experience from your past, reveal faces, and pronounce warmth. Flip the pages and begin to unfold sentiments. EDSEL HARRY TURDA EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

If you are ... 4 FEELING BUTTERFLIES 24 LOOKING FOR A 48 A BEACON OF 62 SHATTERED TO 84 THE COLORS OF THE IN YOUR STOMACH MISSING PIECE LIGHT PIECES RAINBOW 94 WILLING TO GIVE UP 106 A WISHFUL 116 STUCK IN A DARK 132 FEELING LIKE A 144 OVER THE YOUR SUNSET THINKER ROOM MASTERPIECE MOON

feeling butterflies in your stomach “There is a kind of alchemy to it, when one human touches another and makes the aloneness less terrifying.” - Samira Ahmed, Internment

06 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 07 Immeasurable Hymn By Adrianne Lorenzo Corpuz Let us dance, and feel, and open, and love, and smile, and laugh, and cry, and live, to a melody we’ve never heard before. We’ll teach each other how, and we will fall with the rhythm. Then we’ll do it again, until our song becomes a soft whisper in this grandiose moment.

08 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 09 Hear, Hear without fear of uncertainties By Graziel Mae Ramat How could one be sure in the midst of many unsure? By Graziel Mae Ramat How could one take risks amid these misfits? Oh, to be in love Oh, trust; hear from the without worrying to be great poets, fooled, “aside from love, one must To be hugged and kissed, give missed, and and shall receive trust”. stared at deeply To love and be loved freely Without doubt,

10 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // PHOTO BY CASMIR REMYELL CADIENTE

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 11 Fantastical By Adrianne Lorenzo Corpuz There, waves of green with the splatter of flowers. And gliding through the imagery is you, walking down just below the sun and as golden as it is. A mural of the moment is beautiful in imagination, as it is grotesque in reality.

12 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 13 Love at Second Sight By Edmar Delos Santos I didn’t like you at first sight, Since I was as busy as a bee. I didn’t love you at first sight, ‘Cos you were not my cup of tea. I liked you at second sight, Since you taught me to balance life. I loved you at second sight, ‘Cos we touched one’s heart.

14 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY LUJEAN GUIEB

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 15 Yes, Virus is Real by Randy Gianan Jr. Yes, virus is real, Yes, virus is real. I am positive of it. Do not be fooled by the people who refused, Yes, virus is real, Nor by someone who is from everyone who has felt it. confused. Different symptoms are felt, Yes, virus is real. for timeless emotions come It is infectious ahead. and dangerous; Yes, virus is real, for it is called, love. Be vigilant wherever you go.

16 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 17 BIOrside You’re the basic unit of my life, even when you’re not a by Jayson Sabong cell, A dopamine indeed, the reason You’re the ATP in my for happiness I feel... mitochondria, The blood that flows in my inferior and superior vena cava. You’re the mechanism that makes my somatic cell divide, For me, you’re like an oxygen, without you I can’t possibly survive.

18 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // PHOTO BY CASMIR REMYELL CADIENTE

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 19 Riknaen Nak iso ti pigsak. Manggegmo kadi daytoy Ni Christian Jay Perpuse sasainekko, magun-odan ka laeng. Haanka agbiddot a mang-angot Ania ti raman na dagiti tiempo kadaytoy magat sabong ni Lirio nga adaak dita sidongmo? a panagayatko. Patgam ngata no bitbitek Ta haanka tengngel oras no nga ited daytoy ararapaapem a kaano gasat? nga akusyaw ayan ti agongmo. Mariknam Kadin Haanka met agbabalaw no haanka no kasanok nga in-inuten mapetpetan a marikna ti nga ipalak-am ti wagas nga babara. ayat? Daytoy pategmo a napaiduma kadagiti nalabasak. Padasennan a miraen ta daytoy lawag ti rupam

20 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 21 Dear, Future Love by James Carlo Lucas I want my pen to trace the fleeting moments. To ink how we kept warm each other on a cold August night. I want to write about the days I was given tulips, or how the butterflies filled the holes in the pit of my stomach. I want to ink them even at the back of a receipt. I hope one day, it’ll come true and I hope it’s all about you.

22 / FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH // GRAPHIC ART BY PAOLA JOY FRANCISCO

FEELING BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH / 23 Luna By Edmar Delos Santos The road was dark, After a moment, when I crossed the road I closed my eyes, at night. to escape reality. There were no When I opened my eyes, streetlights, I happily saw her even cars were out of again. sight. Luna was a blessing in While crossing the road, disguise, I looked up at the sky. Her presence was enough. Even though I knew the She joined me in my clouds were moving , journey, and stars were unseen. When the road was dark and lonely.

If you are ... 4 FEELING BUTTERFLIES 24 LOOKING FOR A 48 A BEACON OF 62 SHATTERED TO 84 THE COLORS OF THE IN YOUR STOMACH MISSING PIECE LIGHT PIECES RAINBOW 94 WILLING TO GIVE UP 106 A WISHFUL 116 STUCK IN A DARK 132 FEELING LIKE A 144 OVER THE YOUR SUNSET THINKER ROOM MASTERPIECE MOON

looking for a missing piece “I’ve never been very good at leaving things behind. I tried, but I have always left fragments of myself there too, like seeds awaiting their chance to grow.”-Joanne Harris

26 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // PHOTO BY NEIL BRYANT BALIAO

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 27 A Hoard of Messages By Maria Anna Jessica A. Rosqueta I’ll keep writing to you, These thousand letters, That will forever be kept at a distance; Don’t worry, I’ll rent a room to store them, A shell or plain white walls.

28 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // GRAPHIC ART BY PAOLA JOY FRANCISCO

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 29 Aurorean Agastopia By Adrianne Lorenzo Corpuz To be imprisoned inside you, is my welcoming freedom. But what will I do, if the morning fates your dawning smile anywhere except my sight? If the gleam of the night lights us separately?

30 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // ART BY AIRA NADINE PASCUA

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 31 Times are Out of Joint By Maria Anna Jessica A. Rosqueta I had a soul vacation, swam and slept with the constellations. I came back to your planet, because I missed you, but your atmosphere turned red, a sky with piercing crystals, not the one that I knew. I’ve changed, and so are you.

32 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // ART BY LUJEAN GUIEB

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 33 Time Machine By Adrianne Lorenzo Corpuz We’ve been running too fast from ourselves that we find our consciousness wanting to revert. Yet here we are, not realizing that us is a gallery of time itself.

34 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // PHOTO BY NEIL BRYANT BALIAO

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 35 Clairvoyance By Adrianne Lorenzo Corpuz Always, there is something we look down when we’re too high above the ground. A point, a memory, a moment, a person, home. Whatever it may be, one thing is certain, it is our desire to find that something that makes us fly, and it flutters strongly even with all our burden.

36 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // PHOTO BY CASMIR REMYELL CADIENTE

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 37 Shallow by Randy Gianan Jr. house where I live, Running from my own and the love that I need. thoughts – I would always keep diving from the sea of running imaginations, diving even flying from the flying; daydreaming of reality; As long as it is away from is how I used to be. anger, I am not living in the hatred, and fear. society - As long as I am at peace, for everything has been a I will keep living dream. even how shallow that From the air I breathe, imagination is. people that I meet,

38 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // ART BY LUJEAN GUIEB

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 39 Ayat Rumayray man iti bulan, pumigsa man iti dalluyon, ni Randy Gianan Jr. mamagaan man dagiti lua, haanmo liplipatan ti Uray bilangem dagiti agayat nga agnanayon. bituen iti tangatang, awan pulos makasungbat Narigat ti agayat, no apay ni ayat ken sakit ngem narigrigat ti awan ket kanayon nga agkadua. mangayayat. Haan a gapo a malaska, no ketdi kasta iti puligos iti biag iti denna, a ti puso ket madina ipalubos.

40 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // PHOTO BY CASMIR REMYELL CADIENTE

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 41 Panagpaspasungad-namnama ni Christian Jay Perpuse Mano pay nga aldaw, bulan, ti lailo nga inkam wenno tawen mapaspasaran? sakbayo a lukatan ti pagadalan? Kas idi kalman laeng Kailalak nga ipatpateg ti maud- daydi ganas na ti madennaan udi sidong eskwela. a tiempo ti kinamris ti adal. Awanen dagiti alibtak Agduling daytoy matak ti sumken ti init, a mangmirmira ti inaldaw-aldaw ken ganaygay no dagiti kaeskwelaak ti laptop. kastan nga agtaod ti malem. Agpipikelen dagitoy dakulapko Itan, oh madim pay ammon no kakaiggem ti matiptipping ania ti kaarigannanto a wanawangan ti cellphone-ko. ti masakbayam ken gasgasat. Kasano ngata pay kabayag na

42 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // ART BY EDSEL HARRY TURDA

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 43 evanescence hold me, hold me tightly in your loving arms— By Graziel Mae G. Ramat all I can hear now, are the elegies turned lullabies touch me, touch my face lightly oh, lover whisper gently will the emptiness ever cease the stories of the past— when it is only with you, this soul red roses and tears, can be at peace. and smiles and stars; I spent to the bone remembering us

44 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // PHOTO ART BY NEIL BRYANT BALIAO

Stranger LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 45 By: Edsel Harry R. Turda He will say I am special, to hear my voice. but only in death. He’s there, He’s more vicious than any I flashed a smile as I look I didn’t invite him. other companion. at myself in the mirror, He will come and never ask He whispers in the midst He’s behind me, whispering me who’s with me. of the night, my sad story once more. For there is no one but calling my attention, With a knife in my hand, I his whispers. saying I need to die. reached for him, Once step, and I’m no I tried to hide and there For people around me won’t longer the captain of my he is, staring at me care anymore, soul. And asks why I wasn’t with When ropes are tied on the my friends. ceiling. Finally, He’ll laugh deviously and I was hopeless yet begging I’m free. tell I am nothing, for help, But a useless, worthless But the world is too noisy little punk.

46 / LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE // ART BY LUJEAN GUIEB

LOOKING FOR A MISSING PIECE / 47 Lagipem to Daytoy Kararuak ni Christian Jay Perpuse daydi nga aldaw, rupam Idulinmo daytoy lasag awan pagladingitam. ti panyo a nagpunasan a kakaisuna a nagayat Pakararagannakto luluam. kenka. kadagiti natataengan Dikan agliday ta daytoy Sarakem to tay lakasa para ti kapiak. ayatko kenka a nangipakniak Iyatangmonto pay dagiti ket madi pulos maitabon ti kakaisuna a tawid. inim-imas ta a taraon a kas daytoy bagik. Lasatem to kuma ti sipod nagsidongta. Lagipem, a daytoy naapres a daldalan Urayenkanto nga pinagtanorko agturong inarapaap ta a mangkablaaw ket kas metla pagay. dua. kadaytoy ayatko, A kas gaganga a maapit Kawesannak to tay inton dumteng ti iti tiempo ti langen-langenta maikasiam. pinaggagawa. nga naimotektekanan. Abbungamto lattan dayta Tapnon no dumteng to

If you are ... 4 FEELING BUTTERFLIES 24 LOOKING FOR A 48 A BEACON OF 62 SHATTERED TO 84 THE COLORS OF THE IN YOUR STOMACH MISSING PIECE LIGHT PIECES RAINBOW 94 WILLING TO GIVE UP 106 A WISHFUL 116 STUCK IN A DARK 132 FEELING LIKE A 144 OVER THE YOUR SUNSET THINKER ROOM MASTERPIECE MOON

a beacon of light “You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes?” - Friedrich Nietzsche

50 / A BEACON OF LIGHT // ART BY EDSEL HARRY TURDA