Website Interview Joy Final

How to lead a Happy, Healthy and Harmonious Life in Old Age an interview with best-selling author, Joy Loverde

Please tell us a little bit more about yourself and what you do. I am the author of the best-seller, The Complete Eldercare Planner (Random House) and Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old? (Da Capo). In addition to authoring books, I provide professional services as an Expert Media Source, Product Spokesperson, Keynote Speaker, and Mature-market Consultant for companies and organizations. Media and keynote specialties are family caregiving and aging solo. “When we plan, we have choices.” This is the promise of both of my books. My web- site is www.elderindustry.com. Modern societies face major challenges regarding maintaining good physi- cal and mental health of older adults. What is the biggest challenge that the United States is currently experiencing in this respect? A storm of immense magnitude is brewing, and most people in the United States are asleep to the fact that there is a professional caregiver shortage. The in-home indus- try is in crisis. Long hours and back-breaking emotional work coupled with low wag- es make it completely understandable why workers seek jobs in other industries. Amazon, for example, offers a $15 an hour minimum wage. The trucking and res- taurant industries are also aggressively pursuing workers by providing good pay and employee benefits. The professional caregiver-shortage is worse than people think. Also, parent-care challenges in the United States are a consequence of family mem- bers who tend to live long-distance apart. These days, no one can assume that adult children will be available or even willing to provide hands-on care for parents. Every day, sons and daughters grapple with the modern-day realities of juggling personal and professional needs. How can we realistically expect adult children to drop every- thing and tend to their parents’ needs? In contrast to the United States, Europeans usually maintain close family ties throughout adult life, and often reside in the same town as their par- ents and grandparents. What is your advice about how to maintain healthy and functional connections with older family members? I have a dual citizenship – Italian and American. Being raised Italian has taught me the value and many benefits of the family unit. taught me the value and many bene- fits of the family unit. Sustaining healthy functional connections between young and old family members requires nothing less than an investment in time and effort. For Americans this typically means scheduling in-person gatherings. Over the phone conversations and email only go so far. You cannot read body lan- guage. You have no idea if the home environment is in disarray. You must be there physically to see for yourself if family members need additional assistance. Besides what’s better than being on the receiving end of a hug from someone who loves you?

In both of your books you emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle. What are some of the key mechanisms to shift the balance from unhealthy to healthy aging in the 21st century? Your question brings two thoughts to mind. First, wellness has four parts: physical, intellectual, social, and spiritual. This concept was confirmed by the 10-year MacAr- thur Foundation Study on Aging. While we may be physically and mentally fit, we must also sustain a robust social and spiritual life in order to achieve true wellness. I urge readers to research the Study to gain more insights on the active-aging pro- cess. Case in point, my book, Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old? has started a movement called, “Let’s Eat Together.” The idea is quite simple: Share meals on a regular basis especially if you are a solo ager. In America, eating alone is a common and lonely experience. Food is community. Food is love. Food is family. The social value of sharing meals cannot be underestimated. My book offers a variety of ways that people can begin this process. Secondly, how we think about aging is critical. Is getting older something to be denied and avoided at all costs? Are personal mind- sets and choices leading to new visions of aging? Much has been discussed about the importance of strengthening our resilience muscle. In other words, when we get knocked down for one reason or another, we pick ourselves up and move forward. While I am a firm believer in resilience there is a missing piece to the active-aging process. Resilience is reactive. We must also learn to practice critical thinking. The more proactive we are the better. I agree with you. Today’s trends about stress management techniques such as mindfulness emphasize proactive and preventive attitudes instead of re- active ones. A recent keynote to an organization of professional advisors included a slide titled, “Move over resilience here comes critical thinking.” The audience was overwhelm- ingly positive and eager to add critical thinking techniques to their counseling prac- tices. My experience is that people are unfamiliar with the application of critical thinking in their everyday lives. In a perfect world, critical thinking would be identified as such, and be taught early on in school. Getting out of one’s comfort zone in order to solve complex personal and professional problems is something that takes getting used to. What is your opinion about integration of Positive Psychology principles and especially Seligman’s PERMA model i.e. positive emotion, engagement, relationship, meaning and accomplishment, in increasing an elder’s subjec- tive well-being?

As I mentioned earlier, true wellness has a lot of moving parts, far beyond physical and mental health. Seligman’s PERMA model is the complete package. What is espe- cially exciting about his work and Positive Psychology principles is its impact on the language of illness. For example, we used to refer to people as Alzheimer’s patients. Now we say that he or she is a person who is living with the symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease. Upon di- agnosis, people have an opportunity to switch gears and upgrade their mindset and language. We are not defined by our illness. We have plenty of life to live under all conditions. Virtual social platforms like a Facebook often rule our lives. What should be a healthy approach when using social media as we age? I envision tools like Facebook as a two-step process. Connect online then leave your smart phone and computer behind. Meet up with digital friends in person. Volunteer, join a club, share a meal, attend an event – do anything that gets you out of the house. Understandably, people who are home-bound need to be more creative. One of my home-bound friends started an online support group for people who had a stroke. He uses a tool called “Zoom” that allows people to see each other and talk together in real time. Another home-bound former college professor tutors high-schoolers in math. It is very common that when people retire, they completely cease their working activities. What is your opinion about the role of work in increas- ing quality of life in retired citizens? No doubt about it. Volunteering increases well-being on many levels. Not only does doing good make us feel better, when we are surrounded by like-minded people, there is greater potential to make new friends. Your question reminds me of an in- teresting trend that is starting to emerge around the world – the concept of surro- gate family members. With many more people aging solo, forging for family takes on myriad forms. In the United States you can volunteer to be a foster grandparent. In Japan, you ca n hire a doting son or daughter. I predict that more and more volunteer work will support the idea of establishing new “family” relationships. Can you share with us your view about cultural similarities and differences between the U.S., Europe and Asian countries in their approach towards a senior population?

Traveling extensively throughout Italy and Thailand has allowed me to witness re- spect and attention paid to elders when they are out and about in public. Complete strangers rush to assist them. They engage elders in conversations. They protect them from harms of all kinds. In the United States, unfortunately the opposite is true. Older people are often ignored and shunned in public and private settings. On that note, I would like to mention that my 92-year-old Italian mother never felt disrespected or invisible. She made it her daily mission to get to know everyone – young and old - who lived in her apartment building. Her reaching out to others and being loved in return was apparent by the hundreds of people who attended her fu- neral. She had a giving heart and people were drawn to her. My mother’s attitude taught me that we are not invisible unless we say so. What stimulated and inspired you to dedicate your career path to improving the quality of life for the aging population and making a positive difference in the world? As a 14-year-old first-year student at an all-girl Catholic high school, I volunteered to visit a nursing home on Thanksgiving morning, an American holiday when family members typically gather and give thanks. When I arrived at the nursing home, I witnessed seven residents sitting in the dark – alone and depressed. That moment I realized that something must be done to prevent this situation from happening to others. My first book, The Complete Eldercare Planner is a comprehensive guide that encourages family members to talk to each other about the future. No one wants to end up alone in old age. When we plan, we have choic- es. There is no planning in a crisis. As soon as possible, family members need to make plans for who pays for what and where to live. They also need to get their le- gal affairs in order. Sustaining healthy functional connections between young and old family members requires nothing less than an investment in time and effort. For Americans this typically means scheduling in-person gatherings. Over the phone conversations and email only go so far. You cannot read body language. You have no idea if the home environment is in disarray. You must be there physically to see for yourself if family members need additional assistance. Besides what’s better than being on the receiving end of a hug from someone who loves you? How would you advise key stakeholders about creating modern inclusive societies? I love this question. There are three specific initiatives that a neighborhood, a city, and a government can take right now: Age-friendly, dementia-friendly, and LGBTQ- friendly. An age-friendly community considers all ages. What’s good for old people is equally good for young people. Walking and bike paths, accessible public transporta- tion, parks and recreation, grocery stores, and ample opportunities for employment. Dementia-friendly cities offer training to people who interact daily with the public.

I recently read a story about a gentleman who ordered a meal in a pub and walked out the door without paying his bill. When the waiter ran after him, instead of saying “Hey, what are you doing?” he realized that he was dealing with a person who was living with the symptoms of dementia. The world needs more of this kind of sensitivi- ty training. The need for LGBTQ-friendly communities is unquestionable. With a world population of solo agers, the inclusive mindset is of critical importance. We need each other now, and in our old age. Let’s get better at sharing meals, living together, working together, and playing together. For more information on these concepts, type “age friendly,” “dementia-friendly,” and “LGBTQ-friendly” in your Internet browser. What is “the” biggest contribution of your best-selling book, “Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old?” in paving the way for a better self-care world- wide? People are now waking up to the difference between caregivers and advocates. The shift in thinking about caregivers and advocates typically begins when we have a need to seek medical attention. When we are able, we ask questions, conduct our own research, manage our medi- cations, follow treatment instructions, and hopefully, we eventually get well. The cy- cle of illness to wellness continues until one day we become too sick to manage self- care. The onset of a chronic illness is a game changer - you are now entering the world of caregivers and advocates. Caregivers come on the scene by way of a variety of informal arrangements with friends, neighbors, and family. They care about our well-being and agree to perform a variety of home-based tasks on some level that helps us get by—cooking, house- cleaning, laundry, providing transportation, managing medications and finances, companionship and emotional support, and even tucking us in at night. As it is with caregivers, advocates are equally important members of your care team. Oftentimes, the caregiver and advocate are one and the same person, but not neces- sarily. An advocate is the individual who shows up (usually in person) when you are most vulnerable; he or she rights wrongs, helps to prevent dangerous medical er- rors, sticks up for you when you cannot speak, and takes over when you run out of energy to fight your own battles. When you are sick, the presence of an advocate makes all the difference in the quality of care. My book offers many resources and insights on finding professional caregivers and advocates. One of the things that really impressed me while reading your book, is that you are constantly emphasizing the role of self-responsibility in all areas of living. Personally, I am very much engaged in the field of Corporate Well- ness and Self-Leadership. I advise and coach leaders, managers, and em- ployees on how to better manage themselves - at work and at home. Do you ility properly, that he/she will benefit from an expert advisor?

Do you share my opinion, that if one wants to learn accountability properly, that he/she will benefit from an expert advisor? Yes, absolutely we need professional advice of all kinds. As we age, and as family and friends continue to die and move away, we will come to depend more and more on our professional advisors. This also means that we must get good at ensuring that our advisors are up to speed on the unique needs of solo agers. Readers of my books tell me that they take both of my books – the one about family caregiving and the one about aging solo – when meeting with their lawyer, coaches, financial planners, doctors, and other professional advisors. Thank you very much for sharing your views and opinions about healthy aging, and at the same time providing us with practical tips on how to be more proactive and taking good care of ourselves as we journey toward old age. Joy Loverde is a leading consultant in the senior industry and a trusted advisor in aging, eldercare and mature-market business. She is on the faculty of Eden Across America and is the interna- tional eldercare spokeswoman for the Employees Services Manage- ment Association Zoran M Pavlovic is a licensed Psychiatrist and a CEO of Heruka Lifescience and Health Innovations. He supports his clients in psychiatry and neurology drug development and corporate well- ness, with emphasis on Mental Health Promotion at Workplace. He consults and mentors pharmaceutical and CRO companies on building efficient strategical partnerships, and helps them in cre- ating and implementing corporate social responsibility projects related to provision of community mental health services. He also advises organizations about using specific, customized Neu- romarketing tools, so they could better understand their con- sumer decision-making processes, and improve their products, public and customer relations and advertising campaigns.

OUR CONSULTANCY SERVICES CNS DRUG DEVELOPMENT MENTAL HEALTH PROMOTION AT WORKPLACE CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY PHARMA-CRO STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS NEUROMARKETING BRAIN NUTRACEUTICALS Contact details: Heruka Lifescience & Health Innovations Pante Sreckovica 25 11050 Belgrade, Serbia Web: www.herukahealthinnovations.com E-mail: [email protected]