Conversations of Inquiry

Notes and sketches on exercise preparing for a COI 49

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Making connection Dalton recommends requesting an “informational interview” (our COI) using what he calls a “four–point email”. Dalton’s four points are as follows: z Fewer than 100 words – keep your request short and to the point; get to the point quickly but respectfully z No mention of jobs anywhere – if you have a longer–term goal of employment, acceptance at an institution, or other practical object, keep your initial contact focused on learning z Connection goes first – let the person know quickly how you are connected to them – how you found them and any relation- ship you have to them. This maximises the chance that they will feel a sense of connection with you and want to help you on the basis of that connection z Generalize your interest – open a broad enough category so that the conversation can take the form it wants to take, and so that your contact can help you in unexpected ways even if they can’t provide “hard” benefits – like directly hiring you or approving or recommending your application. Whether you use email or another channel, or whether Dalton’s points seem appropriate to your inquiry or not (we have found them to be highly effective for job seekers looking for informa- tional interviews), we believe the themes of being brief, direct, respectful and sincere in your approaches have universal value. Not limiting your inquiry too narrowly allows creativity and ser- endipity to take wing in your conversation. For those running extensive campaigns of COI’s, Dalton has a range of valuable and focused suggestions for managing the pro- cess described in his book, The 2–Hour Job Search (see sources and references at the end of this book). 51

Exercise: Making connection Write your own template for a four–point email. Review it for per- sonal and effective energy, brevity, and respectful directness. If you prefer telephone or personal contacts, prepare a light guid- ance script for yourself (not a rigid formula). z Choose a contact, customise your email and send! z Or make the phone call or the personal approach. z Record what happens in your journal: the objective outcome, and what was going on for you mentally, emotionally, intuitive- ly and in embodied sensation. What did you learn? If you succeed in getting agreement to a COI, here are a few thoughts on how to handle your arrival and opening of the con- versation. Be punctual. If there is an agreed time, place or channel for the conversation, be on time and present yourself consciously. For physical meetings it is worth arriving a few minutes early to make sure there is time to sign in at building reception and/or navigate the physical requirements of reaching the space where the meet- ing will take place and to compose yourself. Being a few minutes early (5–10) allows for these things to take place naturally and allows you to start your meeting on time and get full value from the time your contact is able to devote. On the other hand, being more than, say, ten minutes early may be an- noying as your contact or their colleagues may feel they need to accommodate you, while other meetings may not have finished. If you are connecting by phone or digitally, make sure the technol- ogy is working – phone charged, internet working, and any neces- sary software is loaded and running. You may want to enter any 52

electronic meeting rooms a bit early and message your contact a few minutes before the scheduled start to let them know you are ready. If you are participating in a video conference, set up and test out the camera image you will be conveying. Check and observe the lighting in the room behind you and the background such that it is professional and/or represents the impression you wish to give. Prepare any materials you may need, including your own preparatory material and note–taking resources, ahead of time and give yourself time to put these at your disposal before the meeting actually starts. Arriving a few minutes early also allows you to settle yourself and focus, take a few deep breaths, and become present. 53

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Notes and sketches on exercise to make connection 55

Arriving A Conversation of Inquiry is a form of dialogue. You are going to make a human connection with another person. It may be some- one you do not yet know. Even if it is only for a few minutes, and it turns out to be a very businesslike conversation, you are creating a “container” with them. By that we mean that, if only for a short time, you are holding an energetic space together. You are both in that space, you both belong in the conversation space you have jointly created, and you each bring unique and special experiences to that container. There has never been another human being exactly like you, or exactly like your contact. There has never been someone with ex- actly your experiences or exactly your opportunities to serve or create – or those of your contact. Neither of you will ever be du- plicated. Nor will the specific conversation you are about to have. Ever. In the whole history or future of humanity. So this is a unique opportunity for connection, and for dialogue. With this in mind, it is useful to take those deep breaths, still yourself if you have a practice for that, and bring your attention to your own state of being. How are you? Are you nervous? Hap- py? Expectant? Preoccupied? Just giving some focused attention, without judgement – being a “neutral” observer of your own state – is likely to make you more present, more connected. It is worth also reflecting on the relationship you will have with the other person, preparing yourself and reminding yourself to notice them, how they are, and to notice how the two of you inter- relate. 56

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Opening the meeting You may also want to consider the physical space, particularly if you have responsibility for arranging it. Is it sufficiently private? Quiet enough to permit thoughtful and focused conversation? Free from interruptions? Physically comfortable and attractive? Some access to natural light and a bit of connection to the natural world? Some element of elegance, beauty or design? If you are not making the choices about these things, still notice them and seek to maximize and leverage the attractive qualities of the situation in which you find yourself. On a practical level, we suggest opening by introducing yourself if necessary and thanking your contact – sincerely and personally – for their investment of time and energy in the meeting. It is also usually helpful to inquire politely how things are for them and make a connection in an appreciative, but not lengthy, way to their day, the surroundings, the context, something you have in common. In many forms of dialogue, participants do something called a “check– in”. Depending on the context, doing this formally in your meeting may or may not seem appropriate. But as a context it is worth re- membering and you may be able to use the structure informally. In a check–in each person in a meeting is in turn invited to say how they are in themselves and to say what they are looking for or an- ticipating in the meeting. Sometimes there is a specific check–in question. Each person speaks in turn, and everyone has an equal chance to speak. As noted, doing this formally may not be possible or desirable. 58

When it is possible, we find it is almost always a healthy and con- structive practice, so give it a thought and perhaps push your boundaries a bit to suggest it. Share with your contact how you are, how you are feeling about the meeting – be sincere but positive – and what you hope to achieve. Be brief and leave room for creative exchange, but share your expectations. Similarly, inquire about how your contact is and check if their ex- pectations are the same, different, or related. If you have asked for or suggested the meeting, it is fine and appropriate for you to be responsible for holding the agenda, but it is also always helpful to allow space for any intentions your contact may have. Check that you have a common understanding about the time contract. Don’t push for more time than the contact wants to offer, but be clear on any constraints from the start. With the opening and the overt or subtle check–in completed, open the conversation with a thoughtful, open question to your contact, and prepare to listen and learn. 59

Exercise: Your opening After your COI is over and you have had time to breathe and settle, reflect on how your opening went. Make notes in your journal. z Did you arrive for the meeting in a collected way, with all your own resources in place? z Did you make an energizing connection with your contact? z Did you both offer your own truth and listen for theirs? z Did you put forward helpful and generative questions for the conversation? z What do you notice? What did you learn? 60

Notes and sketches on opening exercise 61

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The body of the conversation On a very practical level, Steve Dalton offers the following outline as a backbone for questioning during “informational interviews,” his special case of COI’s. He calls the framework TIARA. He offers it as a reliable resource for job–seekers conducting many informational interviews. This framework can be adapted for other related purposes. z Trends – you might begin by asking the contact about trends in their industry, their business, or the relevant context z Insights – what insights do they personally have that would be valuable for an outsider: what things have they learned that someone outside the context might not know? z Advice – what advice would they have for someone interested in getting involved with the industry, organization, venture or topic? z Resources – where or to whom should you go for more infor- mation? z Assignments – what kinds of work or projects do people often do in the relevant parts of this context? What is a typical day like? These questions create a robust, and dependable, backbone for very practical COI’s. They are worth having as part of your tool- kit, especially if you are actually job-hunting. As. you can probably see, they can be adapted to many other practical contexts. 63

Although the principal reason for the conversation, and the vast bulk of the time involved, should be devoted to questioning your contact and listening carefully to their answers, Dalton does rec- ommend that the initiator prepare good answers, in case asked, to such common questions from the counterpart as z Tell me about yourself (or walk me through your CV or your resume) z Why do you want to work in this industry – why are you inter- ested in this context? z Why do you want to work for our company – why are you inter- ested in this particular part of the context? Preparing answers to these questions is important (Dalton gives detailed advice), but the answers should be structured to be re- sponsive ... and ... to turn the conversation back as quickly as pos- sible to questions for your contact – to maximise learning and in- sight. Your COI may be intensely practical ... or ... it may be that your COI has a deeper, more personal meaning. It may also happen that a conversation initiated on practical grounds creates an important personal connection. In that case, it will be helpful to hone your skills of dialogue in order to get the most out of your conversation. 64

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Levels of listening In the first instance, your purpose in connecting is to learn from your contact, so the conversation starts as a listening exercise for you. This invites you to learn to listen on at least four levels, as defined by Otto Scharmer in his book Theory U. Level 1: Downloading. At this level, you are simply receiving – and people are sharing – facts and opinions. This may be very useful for purely practical purposes, but is a superficial level from an interpersonal perspec- tive. It also tends merely to reinforce existing points of view. Level 2: Factual listening. Here you are listening for facts and observations, but focusing on things that are surprising or divergent from expectations. It re- flects a focused presence in the circumstances. It can be said to be listening with an open mind. Level 3: Empathic listening. Here you are seeking to listen from the perspective of the other person. To begin to sense into what the subject of the conversa- tion really means for them. This includes not just cognitive but emotional and intuitive meanings, and a sense of what is going on in an embodied way for the other person. Indeed, we can use “ourselves as instruments” to sense what is going on in the con- versation based on what our own bodies are telling us, not only about our own experience, but that of the other person. This kind of listening puts us as much as possible into the other person’s shoes, allowing us to see through their eyes. This kind of listening 66

is a much deeper and more complex skill than the other forms mentioned earlier, and takes much practice. It’s worth the effort to learn and practice, in our experience. This kind of listening can be said to be listening with an open heart. Level 4: Generative Listening. This is the rarest and most powerful form of listening of all, ac- cording to Scharmer, and our experience. It implies that the par- ticipants are truly connecting with each other, and are genuinely creating a new, co–creative experience from their dialogue – they are creating something that has never been there before. In this sense, they are creating the future together. Scharmer says that they are in effect “listening together to the future” – creating something new and emergent. In listening to each other, and at- tentive to the creative possibilities of what they can tap into to- gether. This form of listening can be said to be listening with an open will. You can learn more about these forms of listening in Otto Scharmer’s book Theory U or by hearing him speak about the levels in the video mentioned in resources at the end of the book. 67

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When the conversation may become a dialogue Foundationally, Conversations of Inquiry are about asking ques- tions; as the initiator, your intent is to listen and learn from your counterpart. A significant risk is to move to try to impress or im- mediately to convince your counterpart of something; we suggest this risk needs to be avoided. At some point, however, if the conversation deepens and you have heard the counterparty’s insights, you may find yourself invited to join in a two–way creative conversation. If you are sure that your role as questioner and inquirer has been well and patiently filled and that the invitation from the other side is genuine, then of course engage further in the conversation in a spirit of dialogue. If you have prepared the ground well, framed a powerful ques- tion, formed and held a beautiful container, you may find that the two of you can enter a remarkable dialogue, working together at the deeper levels of Scharmer’s patterns of listening, co–creating something beautiful and unique. As Scharmer would say, you are together helping something to arise from the emerging future – something that didn’t exist before, and something neither of you could have brought forward on your own. Work to build on each other’s insights and dance together in creating the new. See what serendipity brings you. 69

Exercise: Listening and dialogue After your COI is over, and you have had a chance to settle, reflect on your level of listening. Make notes in your journal. z Which of Scharmer’s four levels were present in the conversa- tion? z Did the conversation become a genuine dialogue? If so, how did this happen? z Describe the level of connection you and your contact achieved. z What do you notice? z What did you learn? z What if any new choices would you make in future COI’s, with this contact and with others? The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.... A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well–intentioned words. – Rachel Naomi Remen 70

Notes and sketches on listening exercise 71

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A Conversation of Inquiry as a ride on the Creative Rollercoaster Nick Udall, CEO of the nowhere creative consultancy, in his book, Riding the Creative Rollercoaster, has described a process for a journey of inquiry, one that we can use in Conversations of Inqui- ry. Described in more detail in the book, the journey has several stages: z Onboarding z Questing z Illumination In the onboarding phase, we create the container for inquiry. We briefly described container–building earlier. It means we create a space where all the participants are explicitly included and have a sense of belonging. They all sign on for the journey of inquiry, and implicitly or explicitly commit to each other for the journey. They heighten their level of self–awareness, becoming present and attending to what they are experiencing and learning, cogni- tively and intellectually, but also, very importantly, emotionally, intuitively and through bodily sensation, including an internal felt sense. They also increase their level of systemic awareness – un- derstanding and appreciating their participation in the container as a human system, and paying attention to their interactions and interrelationships, as well as to the larger systems of which they and the inquiry are a part. 73

A very important part of onboarding is the framing of what Nick Udall calls a Breakthrough Question. This is a question of deep im- portance to the participants – one to which they do not know the answer, one that takes them into the unknown, one whose answer is of real meaning, one that would “change everything” if it were known, one that feels at least slightly “daunting.” We alluded to the importance of key questions for COI’s earlier – NIck’s frame- work makes the framing of such questions central to journeys of inquiry, and he invites us to attend to this element as a precursor to the journey. With a container built, awareness raised and a Breakthrough Question in hand, participants in a Creative Rollercoaster ride are ready to pitch into the unknown together. This is the sense in which the roller coaster metaphor is most powerful: we join together for a deep and often frightening dive into the unknown. The bottom of the rollercoaster ride is the key to transformational insight but it is also the most demanding part of the ride, some- times the most frightening and often the most conflicted. On this part of the ride, Nick invites us to have the courage and the te- nacity to hold the tensions of the inquiry – the discomfort, the uncertainty, the conflict – in the promise that if we do so the roll- ercoaster emerges again at the top of its track, in a moment of breakthrough insight. Over more than 20 years of academic research and working with senior teams in industry, Nick and his colleagues have seen this pattern pay off with breakthrough insights again and again, as have the people we have known who have taken this journey pro- cess to heart (Otto Scharmer’s Theory U journey and the Hero’s Journey charted by Joseph Campbell follow resonant patterns). Our Conversations of Inquiry can often follow this pattern if we are willing and courageous enough. Our contacts in some cas- es may be willing to join us on these journeys explicitly – or we may hold the pattern silently in our minds and hearts. Using this 74

framework is likely to deepen the insights of the conversations, and lead to more breakthrough results. At the same time, not ev- ery COI reaches this level of depth. We invite you to explore and practice this approach with patience, seeing what you learn and what you notice from the experience. To learn more, watch the Riding the Creative Rollercoaster video or read Nick Udall’s book Riding the Creative Rollercoaster, as ref- erenced in sources and references at the end of this book. “These containers, spaces and working practices need to be strong enough to hold the uncertainty and emotion that emerges when we disrupt the status quo. They need to be safe enough to speak the truth.. They must create the openness and trust needed to step in to the unknown.” – Nick Udall 75

Exercise: Riding the Creative Rollercoaster Consider one or more of your COI’s as rides on Nick Udall’s Cre- ative Rollercoaster. What was your Breakthrough Question? With your contact, did you create a container for the journey? Did your conversation feel like a rollercoaster ride? Did you go together into an unknown place? Was it challenging to hold the tensions of the ride? If you did hold those tensions, was there a breakthrough result? Make notes in your journal. z What do you notice? z What have you learned? z What ideas do you have for future COI’s? 76

Notes and sketches on the rollercoaster exercise 77

Maps An unusual and sophisticated but powerful practice in Conversa- tions of Inquiry is to make, and possibly share between the partic- ipants, maps about the inquiry. This may be a step too far if your conversation is with a stranger in a professional setting, but if you are having a COI with an open and creative person with a mutual interest in your subject of inquiry, mutual map–making can be a very powerful and exciting tool. To make a map, consider the topic you are inquiring about and create a visual image of the situation on a large piece of paper, like an A1 sheet or a piece of flipchart paper (smaller paper sizes work as well, but large sheets give scope for maximum expres- sion). Give yourself time, but perhaps not too much time, say 20–40 minutes, to create the map. You might want to reflect or journal for a while before you begin drawing. Definitely be en- couraged to use shapes, colours and symbols to convey what you know, and what you are curious about. Both you and your partner in conversation can prepare maps. Then you can present them to each other, working in turn. Listen carefully to each other (reflect on the discussion of levels of listening presented earlier) and in- quire of each other to deepen your understanding. Don’t criticise or give advice – make the exercise one of mutual understanding, appreciation and co–creation. After you have both finished pre- senting, you may want to create a space for dialogue, seeking to allow for qualities of open mind, open heart and open will. Using visual imagery and mutual presentation has a remarkable way of engaging right–brain thinking and deepening trust and communi- cation between the parties. 78

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Using maps in Conversations of Inquiry Even if it does not seem appropriate or possible to share maps be- tween two participants, you may wish to prepare a map for your own reflection before or after engaging in a COI with another per- son. Creating a map before the COI may very well deepen your own perception of the nature of your questions, what is known and unknown about those questions, and your ability to inspire your counterpart with evocative questions about the inquiry. Cre- ating a map after the conversation may be a remarkable way to crystallise your learnings and stimulate further creative explora- tion. If you do make maps, please be encouraged to keep them for later reflection, in a form or a place, physical or electronic, included in or linked to your journal. This concept of map–making is inspired by the Temenos jour- ney, as created by international consultant Siraj Sirajuddin, and described in the book Showing Up, by Olaf Lewitz and Christine Neidhardt. See reference in sources and references at the end of the book. 80

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Exercise: Making maps Make a visual, evocative map for yourself before a COI. How would you represent your question visually? How would you represent where you have come from in preparing and the background to the inquiry? How would you represent your aspirations for the meeting? After the COI, reflect on your map. Would you like to develop it? How would it change? Would you like to make a new one? Keep your map for future reflection (on paper or electronically). Make notes in your journal. z What do you notice? z What have you learned? z What ideas do you have for future COI’s? 82

Notes and sketches on mapping exercise 83

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Completing As you near the end of your COI, be sure to honor the time con- tract you have made with your counterpart. As the time window nears its end, make sure you have time to briefly but accurately note, record and share any key insights. Particularly if it seems to you that there have been some breakthrough insights, make sure you have time to share them thoughtfully with your counterpart, and to shape or reshape them so they can be saved. If there are specific actions or next steps, be sure to record them and confirm them with your counterpart. If you are committing to any of those actions yourself, make sure your commitment is clear and direct – who will do what by when? If your counterpart has offered to take action, make sure you confirm those actions and relevant details (who, what, when) in a clear but respectful way. It is often helpful to take responsibility for the follow-up by volunteering to check back or reconnect at a mutually convenient, but clearly specified time. As the meeting nears its end, be sure to thank your counterpart for their time, attention and energy. Appreciate them for their achievements, commitment and insights so that they know they have been heard and valued in the process. Depending on the nature of the relationship and the interaction, you may wish to consider an explicit or implicit check–out. A check–out, a relative of the check–in we described earlier, allows each person in the conversation to express their feelings on com- pletion and to say what they have gained from the meeting and what they intend to do next. Like a check–in, it leads to a sense of inclusion, an equality of voices, and trust, as everyone is heard, given equal time, and invited to speak authentically. Everyone is equally valued, seen and heard. 85

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Follow–up As a general rule, always write to thank your counterpart, per- haps on the same day or at latest the next day. In your thanks, briefly capture important observations about the learnings and value of the conversation to you, so your counter- part knows he or she has been heard and their investment was valuable and has been appreciated. You may also want to note any key follow–up points that have been agreed. If you can think of a way you can add value to your contact based on what you learned, include it as a “gift” in your follow–up. Your appreciation may be enough – remember the Ben Franklin Effect – but you may also be able to send along a piece of information, an introduction, or an idea that will add value to your contact. Be humble and respectful; this is about gift-giving, not about show- ing off. But also open yourself to the idea that your perspective and experience adds value for your contacts. Follow up assiduously on any commitments that have been made, including reconnecting on the timescale committed if you need to check with your counterpart about things they have agreed to do. 87

Interlude: Voices of Conversation of inquiry. Garnered across our years of experience and spanning a wide range of ages and experience, these reflective quotations illus- trate some of the learnings and insights that Conversations of In- quiry can elicit. We invite you to notice that people’s experiences vary and are not always consistent. Don’t take anything for granted. Become as well rounded as possi- ble studying widely, continually learning, adapting constantly to the changing economic landscape. Work and learn independent- ly with as many sources of income as possible maintaining finan- cial freedom and flexibility. Often work will be completely dif- ferent than education, training and experience which requires adaptability. Communication requires listening in silence to comprehend the complex needs of the challenge and issue at hand. Stay loyal to family, friends and the local community because a strong sup- port system is the best ally. Never put work before happiness and health. Meditation, prayer, yoga and other forms of mental disci- pline increase concentration, focusing and productivity. Multitasking does not work. Don’t become a tool of your tool in- cluding all the technology. The most important thing is to enjoy what you do and have fun at it. If you can’t figure out what you want to do there are some empirical tools to help you discover your hidden potential. They’ve worked for nearly a century, so they can help you. 88

Create a personal mission statement (brand) and live it. Be care- ful when creating a career plan; the plan needs to be flexible or you will only set yourself up for disappointment. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself, several times over the course of your work life. It is only by broadening experiences that we can bring broad- ened thinking into a role. Regardless of career path, a successful person will need to nur- ture relationships with people. Leaders especially need to lead by nurturing relationships rather than processes. The ability to nurture relationships is critical – you’re a consensus builder. If you can navigate your way using those soft skills along with your technical skills you can accelerate your success. Starting from your first year, be sure to network and apply for internships or volunteer work in your desired field. It is extreme- ly risky to wait until your senior year to start looking for employ- ment – start right now. Also, do some research to figure out what career you would like to pursue as early as you can. Always follow up with a phone call after submitting an application. Lastly, I highly suggest that all of you read Dalton’s The 2–Hour Job Search and The Job Closer. If you’re pursuing your passion, then you have already won half the battle. Be aware that working towards attaining your dream job starts the day you set foot at your university. If you’re unsure about which path to take, seek as much career advice as you can. 89

Ask, network, discuss: we can learn plenty from others’ experi- ences. You can always delete any negative or obsolete advice. However, gain much and learn from the positive ones. Choose your courses with precision, they should blend with your career goal. Prepare yourself for “THE” interview. Chase every opportunity you can. Learn from every mistake and letdown. You can only get better until you land on the planet of success. A huge part of my career success is the result of having incredi- ble bosses. Good bosses help you navigate the work environment, develop your skills, understand and unleash your potential, and push you to move farther in your career. Seek out good bosses in your interview process, maintain strong relationships with them, and consider seeking other employment if your boss is a “bad boss” – bad bosses can do more harm than good, even if you have a good job. Opportunities will present to you that may seem outside your ‘comfort zone’ or a bit of a stretch for your skill set but take a chance! Sometimes it takes challenging ourselves to see an area for growth which may even change our path. You’ll realize later these were once in a lifetime opportunities that you might not get once you’re established in a career. 90

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Reflection: Consolidating learning Depending on the dynamic of the conversation, it may or may not seem appropriate to take notes during your COI’s. In any case, pay close attention to your counterpart, taking notes lightly if appro- priate so you won’t forget key points, but keeping your attention on the other person. After the conversation concludes, you will want to spend some time capturing your reflections, starting as soon as possible after the session when your memory will be fresh. You can use your notes and your maps – indeed you may want to make a map as a way of capturing your insights immediately after the session. Re- cord any reflections in your journal. You may want to sleep on the impact of the meeting and make focused entries in your journal for a day or two after the meeting. You may want to create your own template or checklist for re- cording what you learn from your conversations, and where they steer you for further inquiry. In the appendix is one form we have to offer as an invitation. Please use it if it serves you, and take an- other direction if that serves you better. Allow the meeting to shape your thinking and your decisions about further research. Make a point every few days to reflect back on the conversations just concluded, to capture any learn- ings and new directions for the future. 92

You may want to take some specific time each week or each month to reflect back on your Conversations of Inquiry, particularly if you have a discipline of weekly or monthly personal reviews. You can then think back on your learnings from COI’s and how they have shaped your thinking, your understanding, your sense of personal purpose and inspiration, your network of contacts and connections and your plans and direction for the future. 93

Exercise: Reflecting on a Particular COI Shortly after one of your COI’s, reflect on what you learned and how it went. What did you learn about your question of inquiry? Did the question itself mature and change? What did you learn about the other person? About yourself? Did you create a relationship? What did you learn from and about that relationship? What would you like to have happen now as a result of what you learned in this COI? How will it influence your exploration, your behaviour, or your actions going forward? Make notes in your journal. z What have you learned about COI’s in general? z What ideas do you have for future COI’s? 94

Notes and sketches on reflective exercise on one COI 95

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COI’s and becoming the author of your own understanding As we become more mature and self–reflective – at any stage of life – we can move into what thinkers on human development have called “self–authorship”: a stage where we take responsibili- ty for noticing, evaluating, choosing and indeed proactively shap- ing and forming our ways of seeing the world. We can become the authors of our own worldviews, fundamental beliefs, patterns of behaviour, and pathways to creativity and self–expression. COI’s can be a wonderful platform to develop this kind of self–au- thorship. We can actively observe and consider the foundational perspectives that belong to both our counterparts and ourselves. Really listening and reflecting on another person’s perspective can suggest to us ways of seeing the world very different from our own. These may have foundations in gender, in nationality, in culture, in economic, social and cultural background, in generational position. We can compare these perspectives to our own as a stimulus to creative reflection and to suggest new outlooks and patterns of understanding we might wish to consider – to “try on” for our- selves. In contrast, to the extent we are mature and objective enough to do so, we can notice and observe our own patterns as they are at work in the conversation, and consider how effectively they are serving us. Would we want to take a broader or a wider or a more creative – or just a different – view? All of these insights can be captured in our journals and in our logs or records of our COI’s, a practice that opens up continuing opportunities to shape new COIs and our ongoing process of learning and growth. 97

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