Eileen S. Flicker, Janet Andron Hoffman - Guiding Children's Behavior_ Developmental Discipline in the Classroom (Early Childhood Education Series (Teachers College Pr)) (2006)

38 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom Figure 3.7. Student Self-Reflection Inventory Name Chris Date Nov. 4 Directions: Rate each item as 1, 2, or 3. Think about one or two examples to support each answer. 1 = rarely 2 = sometimes 3 = usually I am good at following rules in I am a good listener Class 2 3 In small group work 3 3 3 1 3 12 3 3 Specials 2 When my teacher is teaching 1 3 12 Hallways 2 3 With my friends 1 12 3 Lunch and recess I am respectful to my 12 Teachers 1 2 Classmates 2 1 Other adults in school 12 Complete the following I get in trouble because my teacher doesn’t like me. She’s always yelling at me just because I’m talking to my friends. School is so boring anyway. I could do a better job in school by not getting into trouble all the time. My friends like me because they think I’m cool. Something important to know about me is I don’t always like getting into trouble. I wish my teacher liked me. encourage teachers to consider the following • Formally observe using one or a combination recommendations: of recording methods • Use the observational process: planning, • Differentiate between objective observation objective observation/documentation, as- and subjective inference to minimize bias sessment/recommendations, and interven- tion/follow-up • Engage in self-reflection • Help students self-reflect on their own behavior

4CHAPTER Challenges in the First 3 Years Eight-month-old Jasmine sits on the lap ability to regulate their own behavior is initiated. of Sandra, her caregiver, and babbles A level of homeostasis is critical for a baby’s sense happily. Jasmine leans forward, grabs of well-being and essential for later development. Sandra’s glasses, and throws them on Adults observe and read infants’ signals to deter- the floor, for the third time. Sandra mine their needs and respond accordingly. For smiles as she retrieves them, places example, parents and caregivers learn that when them back on, and thinks to herself a baby rubs his eyes, or becomes particularly fussy, that this is annoying behavior. Jasmine he may be getting tired. Recognizing those signs then slaps Sandra in the face, and and, as a result, instituting daily naps and regular Sandra laughingly says to Jasmine, bedtimes creates a safe and familiar environment “No.” Undeterred, Jasmine lifts her for the child that is important to maintain both at hand to hit her caregiver again. home and in child care. Although many infants resist going to sleep, often when they need it most, Developmental discipline begins in infancy and caregivers need to enforce a sleep routine calmly continues through toddlerhood, with parents and and consistently rather than give in to the resis- teachers/caregivers helping children establish tance. Establishing a routine early on saves parents positive behavior patterns. A child’s age deter- and caregivers endless hours of power struggle at mines the appropriateness and response to behav- nap- or bedtime. While occasionally naps may be iors, but it is never too early to establish rules. In skipped because of changes in routine, it is best to fact, the later one starts to define limits and bound- preserve the consistency of the daily schedule to aries, the more difficult they are to enforce. Clearly, further demonstrate that parents and the care- the caregiver in this vignette did not seriously at- givers set the rules in accordance with the child’s tempt to curtail the child’s negative behavior. needs. Many beleaguered parents seek out the While it is developmentally appropriate for Jas- advice of sleep experts such as Ferber (1986), who mine to explore and test her caregiver, it is not helps parents to retrain their infants and toddlers acceptable to slap, bite, or hurt others in any way, to develop healthy sleep habits. However, it is and children must learn early on what is permit- exceedingly difficult to break bad habits or pat- ted. It is not a good idea to allow young children terns that have already been formed. to treat an adult’s body or belongings (e.g., glasses, jewelry, paperwork) as playthings. Meal- and snack time are other opportunities for adults to observe and intervene when neces- ROUTINES sary. Infants explore their meals as part of learning about the various dimensions in the world—tastes, Through routines and schedules of infancy in- smells, and textures. However, after an infant cluding eating, awake time, and sleeping, infants’ dumps her food toward the end of a meal or deliberately makes a mess, parents and caregivers learn through observation to anticipate this 39

40 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom behavior and react accordingly. Food may be re- incorporate them into their own behavioral reper- moved, or the baby may be taken away from the toire. This progression is observed when parents table, to reinforce that throwing food is not accept- warn their babies to stay away from the stove, stat- able. A toddler who walks around the house with ing loudly and clearly, “No, hot!” Over time, tod- food or who returns to the table asking for more dlers will recite the “No, hot” warnings as they when the meal has clearly ended is exhibiting be- approach the stove until they no longer need to havior that could be modified with clear and con- verbally remind themselves of the danger. sistent messages. When instructed in this manner, very young children learn over time what to ex- Typically, adults are exceedingly clear about pect from parents and caregivers and what behav- limits regarding dangerous situations that may iors are expected of them. affect children’s safety; they do it instinctively. However, they are far less definitive when it comes The Importance of Limit Setting to establishing disciplinary rules and boundaries over less serious infractions, which, in the long Certainly, adults’ demands about behavior in in- run, have significant ramifications for behavior. In fancy and toddlerhood need to be realistic and the earlier vignette, Jasmine should have been told based on developmental norms and individual firmly and clearly that glasses are not for playing temperament. Toddlers have their own unique with. While the words may not be entirely under- timetable for acquiring the skills necessary for stood, a strong tone coupled with a stern face would potty learning (aka toilet training), which can cer- have shown Jasmine that her caregiver was ada- tainly exasperate parents and caregivers alike. mant about stopping the behavior. Sandra might Using the toilet appropriately depends on devel- have also responded by removing Jasmine from her opmental readiness: cognitive understanding, the lap with another clear message that “we don’t hit.” ability to communicate, as well as physical ma- Her laughter sent a mixed message to Jasmine that turity. Adults cannot dictate this milestone be- throwing glasses and hitting were actually accept- cause it is ultimately within the control of young able and perhaps even enjoyable. Saying no with- children. Yet children often use this control (and out a reinforcing nonverbal response to a child of their parents’ desperation for this milestone to be this age compromised the clarity of the communi- achieved) to test limits and frustrate adults. Test- cation. With infants, toddlers, and young children, ing of limits is an important task in growing up. the corrective message usually needs to be re- In the realm of potty learning, it is far more bene- peated. Sandra needs to be consistent and patient ficial to be patient and relaxed during the process until she notices the desired outcome, as Jasmine and convey a sense of confidence to children that may initially test Sandra’s persistence. they will achieve this skill in due time. Adult Beliefs About Discipline Parents and teachers will understandably set their own rules about what behavior is reasonable. Parents and teachers must observe and pay This is culturally determined as different priorities careful attention to their own verbal and nonver- and time lines are placed on the achievement of bal responses to determine if their actions are these milestones. For example, in Chinese societ- supporting their words. Sandra might ask herself ies parents may begin to toilet train their babies at reflective questions about Jasmine’s behavior as 6 months of age (Huntsinger, Huntsinger, Ching, well as her own: & Lee, 2000). Whatever the family’s values or cultural viewpoints, adults take the lead role in • Is Jasmine’s playfulness always accompanied shaping behavior. However, ideally the child’s in- by some aggression? dividual needs and developmental timetable would be taken into consideration. • Could Sandra possibly elicit or reinforce Jasmine’s response with her laughter? Limit setting, begun during these critical early months, defines for children what is and is not • Does Jasmine become easily frustrated or acceptable behavior. Initially, adults establish re- angry? strictions externally, and then, over time, children • Is she more likely to behave in this manner when she is getting tired or hungry?

Challenges in the First 3 Years 41 Answering these questions along with frequent frequent biting, implements her usual observations of Jasmine and her “playfulness” strategy by immediately going over and might yield significant information that would asking why she did it. When Olivia does help her caregiver tune in more effectively to her not answer, the teacher provides her behavior. with a lengthy and elaborate explana- tion of why biting is wrong. Olivia begins Adults also need to consider whether their dis- to cry. ciplinary responses vary with gender. Some who adhere to the age-old myth that “boys will be Educators who have observed children biting boys” may be more tolerant of boys’ aggressive may relate to this teacher’s frustration. While the behavior. Others may be especially harsh with teacher’s response to Olivia’s behavior may have boys in an effort to toughen them up. There are been with the best of intentions, the outcome of the diverse attitudes within cultures about whether intervention was not successful, as demonstrated crying in boys may be sanctioned or forbidden by the repeated biting. It is normal for negative (Pollack, 1998). Additionally, parents and teachers behavior to continue despite an adult’s attempts may be excessively lenient with girls and unable to extinguish it. Children persevere for many rea- to say no to them because they are “so cute.” In sons, including willfulness and a lack of under- contrast, adults may attempt to extinguish aggres- standing. Through observation, a teacher can sive behavior that may be seen as unladylike. ascertain whether a child is testing limits or has not yet internalized the expectations. The teacher de- Adults’ belief systems determine in part their cides if repetition of the correction is sufficient to interactive styles with children. Some feelings are influence the child or if a modification in the in- latent, while others are manifest. Favoritism of one tervention is warranted. Educators must be flex- gender over another may be observed. Becoming ible in their approach and alter their procedure if cognizant of gender-based attitudes can help par- they determine that the effort is not working over ents and educators gain more insight into their time. It is recommended that parents and teachers actions. This can be accomplished by considering review the observation process and change their the reasons for past responses and anticipating responses to best address the negative behavior. future interactions. Biting can be very disruptive to the mood and If Sandra were to consider all the above- morale of an early childhood program. There may mentioned factors—verbal and nonverbal commu- be isolated incidences, a repeat biter, or contagion nication, gender, culture, temperament, and so within the environment. When early childhood forth—she would discover the relationship be- programs group children according to their age, tween her caregiving style and Jasmine’s behavior. as is typically found in child-care centers, biting Bouncing ideas off of a colleague would addition- can be especially problematic because there are ally provide Sandra with a fresh perspective on the several children at the “biting age.” With mixed- situation. These insights gained from personal in- aged grouping, biting epidemics may be less trospection and professional feedback will direct prevalent (Balaban, 1991). Sandra to the changes she needs to make. Sustained change in children’s behavior only occurs when Whether occurrences are frequent or occa- adults are willing to modify their own behavior. sional, biting upsets not only the children who are most likely to be the victims, but also the adults THE CHILD WHO BITES who are responsible for their care. Adults, too, play a large role in the drama that unfolds after a bit- Olivia is an 18-month-old attending child ing scenario, when the parents of the other chil- care. She is in the dramatic-play area, dren in the classroom demand that the biter be with three other children, where there removed from the program. Too often, toddlers is little room and only a few props. are asked to leave their playgroups or child care After being bumped by another child, because the caregivers do not know how to stop Olivia bites him on the arm. Olivia’s the problem. Biting can be regarded as abnormal teacher, who is frustrated by Olivia’s or primitive even in young children, resulting in

42 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom negative perceptions about the child. Therefore bite in crowded environments, during activities adults’ responses to biting may be emotionally that require sharing, with certain peers, or at a driven rather than rational. particular of time of day: prior to naptime, dur- ing transitions, or at pickup time. When addressing biting behavior, it is essential to consider the child’s age, individual developmen- Understanding the reasons for biting influences tal level, temperament, and other behavioral or situ- the response. For example, a teething child may ational factors. Biting in toddlers and 2-year-olds need to chew an apple or an angry child might who lack sufficient verbal skills is common and to benefit from open-ended art, music, or movement be expected. After all, their verbal abilities do not activities. A child who bites to seek attention from necessarily match their cognitive abilities, and this adults might stop when provided with ample posi- mismatch often leads to frustration. Anticipating tive interpersonal experiences. that toddlers may bite, especially when the behav- ior has been observed previously, is crucial. Chal- For many children who are chronic biters, hav- lenging behavior such as biting, often regarded as ing an adult within arm’s reach during a biting deviant, can instead be reframed as a developmen- phase is often the best solution. When a child is tally appropriate response when one lacks the abil- reprimanded for biting, it is only after the episode ity to verbally communicate. has occurred, when the child has already received oral gratification as well as negative attention. Shad- While it is not unusual for adults to ask young owing the child helps to anticipate the behavior and children the reasons for their actions, it is not pos- provides a reassuring presence that assists the child sible for a child of Olivia’s age to fully articulate in behaving appropriately. Stopping the child be- her motives. Even if she were able to reflect, which fore she is successful, and then providing the simple in itself is highly unlikely, she would not yet have reminder that biting is not OK along with her re- the vocabulary to explain her feelings, such as moval from the situation, is usually the most anger, frustration, fatigue, jealousy, and so forth. effective strategy. It takes a positive attitude, com- Therefore, asking a preverbal or semiverbal child mitment, and patience, but the child soon learns why he or she did something wrong is ineffective. that biting will not be tolerated. Early childhood If Olivia were older, asking her why she hurt an- teachers are quick to point out that shadowing is other child would be problematic as it might give not very practical, considering they have other her reason to believe that her behavior could be children to care for. Yet the “shadower,” or adult justified. Children are quick to blame others for their providing additional attention to a child who bites, aggressive actions, and adults feed into this pattern is still accessible to the other children. The adult by asking them why they hit, pushed, or bit. Young simply positions herself adjacent to the child, children need to learn that despite situations being ready to place a hand on a shoulder, while continu- unfair or another child’s wronging them first, hurt- ing to observe and interact with the rest of the ing another person is not acceptable. children in the program. At the same time, knowing a child’s reasons or Olivia’s teacher could best help her by observ- motivations for inappropriate behavior is neces- ing and documenting her behavior, thus learning sary for effective intervention. When parents and the circumstances in which the behavior typically teachers understand the precipitating factors or occurs. Additionally, she would self-reflect to as- situational variables that trigger biting, they can sess if her strategy matched Olivia’s needs. In this anticipate and then prevent it through distraction scenario, an overcrowded play area with too few or redirection. Children bite for many reasons: some attractive materials coupled with a child with a intentionally to hurt and others because they are history of biting is a risky combination and could ignorant of its effect. Infants and toddlers some- be avoided with good planning based on thought- times bite when they are teething and seek relief for ful observation. their aching gums. Some children bite when they are hungry, tired, overstimulated, frustrated, bored, If the teacher were to look carefully, it would or angry. Still others become overly enthusiastic in be apparent that Olivia was not learning from her their affection, possibly literally interpreting their lecture. Toddlers (and older children as well) often parents’ loving statement “I’m going to eat you tune out adults when they are presented with a up,” and their kisses turn into bites. Children may long, complicated explanation of why their behav- ior was wrong. Children have limited attention

Challenges in the First 3 Years 43 spans, and their capacity to listen is further af- tantrums are ignored, however, they tend to dissi- fected by the content of the message. When it is pate over time. Children learn that temper tantrums necessary to correct behavior, it is much more ef- are not an effective means of getting attention or fective to look directly at the child, provide a firm what they want. Adults can, at the same time, com- and concise, “No! You may not bite!” and subse- municate their recognition of the child’s feelings quently remove the child from the situation. and the belief that the child can and will be able to calm down. Additionally, the adult can reassure the TANTRUMS child that he will be there if needed, whenever the tantrum ends. Biting is just one challenging behavior that can be observed in the first 3 years of a child’s life. SHARING AND TURN TAKING When any difficult behavior is understood within the context of normal development, the adults’ Sharing is a domain in which adults’ expecta- response to the child can facilitate a more rapid tions are not necessary commensurate with progression through the phase. Adults who react children’s developmental level. In child-care pro- with excessive frustration and anger toward a child grams and schools, teachers insist that children can inadvertently cause the behavior to take on a share toys, equipment, and materials. It is not un- new significance. Temper tantrums, for example, usual for a child to grab one toy and say, “Mine.” can be overwhelming, especially if the adult be- A teacher will typically answer, “No, that toy is lieves that the child is being purposely defiant or not yours. It belongs to everyone, and you have disrespectful. In fact, temper tantrums are a devel- to share.” The child who claimed the toy was hers opmentally appropriate coping strategy and typi- did not mean to indicate that she had actually cal for toddlers, though not adaptive over time purchased the item and was legally entitled to (Zeitlin, Williamson, & Szczepanski, 1988). Initially, possess it. Instead, she meant that she had it at tantrums serve as a mechanism for a child to let off that moment; the toy was in her hands. Children stream or express dissatisfaction with a situation, are placed in group environments for several particularly if he lacks the social and communica- hours a day, perhaps most of their waking time, tion skills to express himself adequately. A 2-year- and told that nothing is theirs. It is no wonder that might throw himself on the floor of the playroom, children in this situation react negatively to forced kicking and screaming, when told that he cannot sharing. have the toy he wants. Without the child’s hav- ing the cognitive ability to comprehend why his Sharing is a culturally based concept, not just a teacher said no, and without the verbal skills to behavior. Americans are raised to be independent, express his feelings and desires, the tantrum re- think for themselves, and meet their own needs. lieves the child of his tensions and frustrations They are taught to strive to be the best, to be num- and simultaneously sends a strong message to his ber one, and as a result often acquire a sense of en- teacher. Likewise, a 14-month-old learns fairly titlement. In many families, members have their quickly that her loud, wild cries cause adults to own bedrooms, bathrooms, telephones, televisions, stop whatever they are doing to tend to her. Tan- cars, and so forth. It is ironic that adults expect chil- trums become integrated into her behavioral pat- dren to share their toys when they themselves tern because they are successful in getting model the opposite behavior. attention. In some families, children live in poverty; food, When the adult counters a tantrum with repri- clothing, and toys are scarce, and everything must mands or by giving in to the child’s demands, the be shared. These children may have no possessions behavior is reinforced and likely to reoccur. Try- that are entirely their own. Expecting those chil- ing to reason with a child who is out of control and dren to readily share materials in school to which emotionally volatile will also not be successful they have little access at home may be too much because he is unable to hear and process what is to ask. being said. Expecting a child to just snap out of a tantrum is not realistic developmentally. When If sharing is a value that adults wish to instill, and not just a logistical tool for managing a group of children, then they must recognize that the

44 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom ability to do so must correspond with the child’s them fall asleep. There is a great deal of variabil- understanding of why it is important. Develop- ity in the age in which children fall asleep on their ing a community of sharing evolves slowly over own, and this benchmark is often considered a time with concerted effort and consistent expec- definition of a “good baby.” Sleep/wake time in tations. It is interesting to watch children who are children varies tremendously based on age, physi- not forced to share toys. They tend to gravitate ology, temperament, and environment. Character- toward that behavior instinctively, as an expres- istics of parents also have an impact on children’s sion of their innate social disposition. sleeping behavior. Depression, anxiety, and stress have been noted in parents of children who have When faced with the dilemma of two children sleep difficulties (Godfrey, 1998). What is often desiring the same toy at the same time, it is always overlooked is the adults’ role in establishing clear preferable to allow children time with the toy limits and routines that facilitate a child’s ability alone, thus entitling each one to own the toy for a to go to sleep and stay asleep. limited period of time. Taking turns, perhaps with the help of a clock or egg timer, is a dramatically By 4 months, a child should have a relatively different approach to forced sharing. While play- stable sleep routine (Brazelton, 1992). However, ing independently may be enjoyable for a time, David, even by age 2, does not have a particularly many children will choose the company of others, adaptive sleep routine at child care. He continues thus creating situations in which the willingness to manipulate the caregiver to the point that she to share is necessary. However, some children will must be next to him in order for him to settle down. more often than not prefer to play by themselves, He remains vigilant to her whereabouts, rather than perhaps because of their temperament or upbring- allowing himself to relax and fall asleep. When Julie ing. Teachers must respect those individual differ- attempts to leave after a significant amount of time ences and needs. Providing sharing opportunities spent engaged in their prolonged “sleep ritual,” he that are inevitable in a classroom environment, pops up again and demands attention. Frustrated, and modeling sharing behavior, are more subtle she acquiesces and rewards him with her contin- ways to encourage a reluctant child. Forced shar- ued presence. ing will have a limited benefit because it will not take place spontaneously without an adult present. If Julie were to step back and observe the pat- tern that existed, she might learn the precipitating SLEEPING ISSUES factors contributing to David’s sleeping habits. David may only have difficulties at naptime in Two-year-old David is having trouble child care but have little trouble going to sleep at falling asleep at naptime in his child- home. It is extremely hard for children to let go care center. He starts on his own cot of the excitement of the day, and as a result they with his caregiver, Julie, rubbing his often prolong the experience by demanding the back, but as soon as she moves to presence of their caregivers, even in the face of another child, David is up and moving increased exhaustion. This is particularly true at around. He is told by Julie to lie quietly, child care, where activities are stimulating and but instead David talks aloud and there are peers with whom to engage. Because rattles his cot. Julie returns to soothe naptime is usually scheduled after lunch for all David, but as soon as she leaves, David children, David may simply not be ready to go to begins to cry and disturb the other sleep at this time. Some children may not need to children. She reluctantly sits next to nap and thus may find the scheduled rest period him until he eventually falls asleep. This frustrating and unduly restrictive. pattern has been in place since David started child care one year ago. Changes in routine, an illness, or a stressful home environment may also have a negative im- Sleep disturbances in children are a ubiquitous pact on David’s overall sleep pattern. Periodic concern among adults who spend hours walking, sleep disturbances may be related to new skills and rocking, and comforting young children to help cognitive abilities in the developing toddler. Over- stimulating environments, even at naptime, can make it hard for some children to unwind, particu- larly if they are experiencing sensory-integration

Challenges in the First 3 Years 45 issues. Through her observations, Julie can evalu- undoubtedly challenging, requiring multitasking ate David’s unique circumstances and determine on the part of the teachers. Yet this process is nec- what would be most beneficial to establish a posi- essary in order to figure out exactly what is going tive and consistent sleep routine. Communicating on with David. Once his needs are ascertained, the with David’s parents to learn about his sleep hab- teachers can then modify the environment, change its at home and their expectations about naptime the routine, or alter their own interactions to in child care is also necessary. Cultural differences achieve the desired results. This is not easy, as and their influences on sleep routines should be teachers still have a classroom to maintain. considered. North American and Western Euro- pean expectations that children sleep in their own In many cases creating an individual “going- crib and eventually their own bed often clashes with to-sleep ritual” may result in children’s ability to customs in other cultures in which “co-sleeping” go to sleep on their own. Naptime rituals may con- is preferred (Minde, 1998). Teachers must use cau- sist of a special song; a story; a calming sequence of tion and refrain from being ethnocentric. activities; or a unique activity with a particular child, such as snuggling or rocking in a chair. How- Julie might begin her observations by focusing ever, remaining with the toddler for the duration on the time period before naptime to better under- of naptime is not practical. Agreeing to excessive stand David’s functioning within his environment. demands in order to placate a child who is reluc- She would specifically look at how he anticipates tant to go to sleep only feeds into that child’s belief and handles transitions. At the same time, Julie that he is in control. Adults must draw their line in needs to think about how she and her colleagues the sand and communicate that boundary effec- prepare children for naptime. A narrative obser- tively and sincerely. This process may be complex vation, such as shown in Figure 4.1, is indicated, and take several days or even weeks to put into ef- as it would yield a substantial amount of qualita- fect. Caregivers need to cope with those challeng- tive information. Observations during this time are ing naptimes when children will inevitably resist Figure 4.1. Narrative Observation Observer Julie Date 11/4/04 Child’s Name David Child’s Age 26 months Context: Physical Setting: This is a typical child-care class. There are play areas, tables and chairs, a chang- ing table with a couple of potties nearby. When the 12 cots are set up, the room is quite crowded. Situation: We’ve just finished lunch. The room is a mess, and the kids are running around. There are 12 toddlers in the room with Anna and me. We’re trying to clean them up, change their diapers, and get them ready for naptime. Time Behavioral Descriptions (objective) Interpretations/Inferences (subjective) 12:30 p.m. David is running around the room with other children. He David is winding up, not winding down. He’s having a is repeatedly saying, “Run, run, run” in a loud voice. good time. I wish I could calm him down, but I’m busy changing diapers. 12:32 David runs from me when I approach him to change his 12:40 diaper. He puts up a struggle when I lift him and place David’s mood changes as he anticipates naptime. Other him on the changing table. than naptime, he does not resist having his diaper changed. David is asked to lie down on his cot. He says no and This is typical naptime behavior. picks up his cot and bangs it down on the floor. How can I better prepare him for napping? How can I make the room less stimulating for him? 12:45 David is told to stop banging his cot because he is disturbing other children, but he continues. I wonder if it would be possible for me to take David out of the room for quiet while Anna took care of the rest of the kids.

46 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom and test the new limits that have been imposed. It tor, who in turn has been in constant is during these moments that children learn that communication with his parents. The adults are there to take care of them. Over time, parents report that Kevin has not they learn that their caregiver will not reward always behaved in this manner, and negative behavior. they too are worried. Depending on what Julie learns from her obser- Kevin’s behavior is of concern. His solitary vations, she may choose to reconfigure the sleep- behavior, rejection of social overtures by peers ing environment and place David’s cot in a cozy and adults, and aggressive outbursts are atypical. corner to minimize excessive noise and contact Toddlers usually enjoy the camaraderie of others with other children. Many children in child care and often seek out teachers for attention and com- benefit from a transitional object, such as a blan- fort. Kevin’s preference for being alone is not nec- ket or stuffed animal, to comfort them. Enlisting essarily alarming. However, his behavior is part David’s parents in the problem solving is impor- of an ongoing pattern that typifies his function- tant, to determine the most appropriate interven- ing in the setting, and apparently at home as well. tions for David. Partnering with parents helps to What is most worrisome is that Kevin has re- shed light on details that may be missing from the gressed in his social, emotional, and language educator’s point of view. Parents and teachers can development. support each other in their efforts to provide the best and most consistent care for young children. It is likely that Kevin attracted the attention of his teachers because of his acting-out rather than TYPICAL AND ATYPICAL BEHAVIOR because of his solitary play, which is not disrup- tive. Children who are quiet or passive often get Through observation, coupled with knowledge overlooked but still require teachers’ responsive- of child development, adults learn what is typical ness. In this case, Kevin’s difficulties were noticed behavior in children, aged 0 to 3. At the same time, early in his group-care experience. Because of this however, behaviors that warrant greater study may timely identification, the child-care educators, in be noted. These behaviors may be transient in na- tandem with Kevin’s parents, can begin an early ture or suggest a more serious developmental prob- intervention process. lem. They are warning signs and may be called “red-flag behaviors” (see the list in Figure 4.2). It is Working with Families critical for educators working with this age group to be familiar with those signs of atypical behavior Information gathering has actually begun, with in order to intervene in a timely and appropriate both Kevin’s teachers and parents documenting fashion. Parents often yield to the views of educa- Kevin’s behavior in child care and at home. They tors and depend on them for an objective assess- noted that Kevin’s “meltdowns” tend to occur ment. Teachers and early childhood administrators when demands are made of him to interact with are on the front line of early intervention, as they others or transition to a new activity. Rather than are most likely to detect developmental delays. respond with words, Kevin vocalizes unintelli- gible sounds in protest. While the staff has never Two-and-a-half-year-old Kevin prefers to heard Kevin speak words, his mother reports that play by himself in his child-care pro- Kevin uses some words at home, but in general his gram. When other children interact verbalizations have decreased. with him, he pushes them away. At times, Kevin will unexpectedly scream According to Kevin’s parents, his pediatrician and throw toys and chairs around the did not detect unusual behavior upon exam and room. When adults attempt to engage tried to reassure them that Kevin was just going Kevin, he averts his eyes and tries to through a phase. However, Kevin’s deteriorating hide under the table or in the corner. behavior at home and his poor adaptation to Kevin’s teachers have shared their the child-care environment still need to be ad- observations with the child-care direc- dressed. Understanding and modifying Kevin’s environment is the primary goal of the develop- mental discipline observation process (see Chap-

Challenges in the First 3 Years 47 Figure 4.2. Red-Flag Behaviors Birth–3 Years 3–5 Years (includes all of the above) Poor muscle tone and stability Weak fine-motor skills; avoids drawing, cutting, Jerky or clumsy movement (hypotonic or hypertonic) puzzles, etc. Hands mostly fisted after 4 months of age Low energy level Asymmetry of body and movement; uneven posture Hyperactive Persistent walking on toes Absence of spontaneous speech Poor suck or swallow, excessive drool, protruding Does not have extensive vocabulary tongue Lack of curiosity; reluctant to explore the environment Does not visually track objects or turn toward sounds Inability to sustain attention to learning tasks Hypersensitivity to stimuli Resistant to participating in group activities Rocking or other self-stimulating and repetitive Difficulty transitioning behaviors (e.g., flapping, twirling, head banging) Inability to adapt to routines Excessive preoccupation with one toy Purposeful hurting of people and property Absence of vocalizations Does not make friends Echolalia Unwilling to take risks Unresponsive to people, environment, or both Fixation on touching genitals and other body parts Flat or no affect Displays mostly negative affect School-Age Children (includes all of the above) Cannot be comforted when upset Eating abnormalities No eye contact Learning difficulties Excessive stranger or separation distress Unsuccessful academic experiences Multiple/excessive fears Unwilling to complete school assignments Night terrors or repeated nightmares Resistance to attending school Self-mutilating behaviors Excessive school absenteeism and tardiness Excessive aggression Apathy Eating/sleeping disturbances Stealing Inability to form relationships Chronic lying Loss of a developmental milestone; regressive behavior Bullying and other threatening behavior Shows no remorse Marked changes in behavior Depression or anxiety Provocative language, dress, and sexual gestures Drug and alcohol use ter 3). This process formally begins when parents, swers and knowing when to get additional help teachers, and the director meet to strategize to- are important professional moments. Child-care gether. The steps include planning, implementing, programs and schools can support their teachers documenting objective observations, interpreting by providing in-service workshops addressing the those findings, making recommendations about specific difficulties that children present. Whether appropriate intervention, and then following the program is public or privately funded, it is cov- through. ered by the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, which mandates that all children are Within a few weeks, the team, that is, teachers, entitled to a free and thorough evaluation and sub- administrators, and parents, determined that an sequent services if indicated. Some families are outside evaluation for Kevin was warranted. Ac- reluctant participants in the diagnostic process knowledging that one does not have all the an-

48 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom because navigating through the special-services expectations of him to enable Kevin to be success- system can be a daunting challenge. This is espe- ful in this inclusive environment. Helping the cially true for those families who suffer economic other children and their parents be sensitive to hardships, who feel disenfranchised from the Kevin’s interactive style is an integral element of school and the community, for whom English is a caring and nurturing classroom community. not the first language, or who have had no prior experience advocating for their children. Learn- CONCLUSION ing different terminology, accommodating to the timetable of necessary appointments, and follow- One important challenge for educators who ing through on the recommendations is not easy. work with toddlers is seeing the youngsters’ dif- Despite the findings indicating that there is a ficult behavior in a more positive light. The expres- problem, families may not fully accept that their sion “terrible twos” reflects the frustration of child has a disability. These are the families adults who do not appreciate the importance of who may require hand-holding and additional defiance and limit testing in young children. The assistance throughout the various phases of 2nd and 3rd years of life are full of wonderful dis- assessment. coveries, including the sense of the power of the word no. Children must establish their autonomy In the weeks or months that are required to and independence or risk being filled with self- complete an evaluation, Kevin’s teachers and par- doubt and despair (Erikson, 1963). Teachers need ents need to support one another and work to- to adjust their lenses and refocus their perceptions gether to help Kevin function in child care and of negative behavior. Misbehavior, including acts at home. Ideally, the program would solicit the of aggression, is to be expected along with chil- advice of experts through in-service training and dren’s learning to accept the limitations created by outside workshops. When that is not a realistic adults. This process proceeds more easily when ex- option because of budgetary constraints, the cessive anxiety and concern about children’s be- Internet is an alternative invaluable resource for havior is minimized. To that end, it is critical for professional development. Strategies may in- adults to know the difference between difficult clude instituting a behavior modification pro- phases of normal development and behavior that gram whereby Kevin is rewarded for behaviors indicates a more significant problem. such as eye contact, verbalizations, and partici- pation in the group. Using a parent volunteer or Developmental discipline is an approach that the director as a shadow for Kevin during diffi- is based on appropriate expectations for both cult or transition periods can also be effective. Ob- typically and atypically developing children. servations will determine when and under what Initiated early in infancy, it can set a foundation circumstances Kevin would benefit from a nearby for future behavior. With the use of focused adult. Additional information that would be observation to monitor behavior, responses can gleaned from systematic observations will reveal be tailored to individual children and situations. activities or situations that must be avoided be- Adults, too, learn from these observations cause they are excessively stimulating. These may about their goals, motivations, and effectiveness include whole-group activities such as circle time. with the developing child. Reaching out for Kevin’s apparent need for interpersonal distance professional assistance when indicated is also im- must be acknowledged and respected. Therefore, perative. Developmental discipline is a process Kevin should have an opportunity to play by from infancy through early childhood and be- himself without the distraction of other children yond. On the basis of what we discussed in this in a particular area. A long-term goal would be chapter, we recommend that teachers do the to gradually develop his tolerance for being with following: other children. • Be cognizant of typical and atypical develop- Looking at the impact of the physical space on ment Kevin is necessary. For example, Kevin needs a semiprivate space for some quiet time. Most im- • Set limits, beginning in infancy portant, Kevin’s teacher must have appropriate

Challenges in the First 3 Years 49 • Observe infants’ daily routines to be better • Maintain realistic expectations about chil- attuned to their needs and temperaments dren’s sharing • Recognize that biting and other forms of ag- • Reframe negative behavior in a positive light gression in infants and toddlers are develop- • Collaborate with families on observation and mentally appropriate problem solving

50 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom 5CHAPTER The Preschooler and Kindergartner It is the 2nd month of prekindergarten. toileting away from home, and self-care may be Kiani is having trouble following the extremely demanding, resulting in a continuum rules in school. She is disruptive during of negative behaviors. Young children’s reactions circle time, frequently shouting, “Excuse to this rite of passage depend on numerous fac- me,” over the voices of the other chil- tors. Past experience in child care or preschool dren and teachers. When her teachers may influence children’s adjustment. They may tell her to stop being noisy, she often have formed attachments and must begin anew. responds by flailing her arms and legs It is also possible that a child had social or learn- and crying. Transitions are particularly ing difficulties previously and anticipates a nega- hard for Kiani, and she periodically tive experience in the new setting. A child who stages a “sit-down strike” at the end of is distracted by family issues such as illness, di- an activity. This demonstration may vorce, or homelessness may also struggle when include her crawling under a table, beginning school. rolling around the floor, sucking her thumb, or making her body rigid, refus- The fit between child and program is an im- ing to move. Her teachers are ex- portant criterion in a child’s acclimating to nurs- tremely frustrated and spend a great ery or preschool. Some early childhood programs deal of time correcting her negative are overly academic or too rigorously structured behaviors. Kiani’s grandmother, who for children, who may in turn act defiantly or shares caregiving with her daughter, even withdraw from interacting within the envi- states that she is more lenient than ronment. Conversely, children who would thrive her daughter, who punishes Kiani by in a highly structured environment can become putting her in her room and letting her easily stimulated or overly aggressive in settings cry herself to sleep. that provide too few boundaries or offer an exces- sive number of choices. Temperament—one’s in- BEGINNING SCHOOL nate blueprint for behavior—may contribute to the ease with which a child feels comfortable away For 3- and 4-year-olds adapting to a preschool, from home. Some children plunge right into new nursery, child care, or Head Start program, which situations, exploring environments with enthusi- are characterized by unfamiliar people, sched- asm and interest. Others may be slow to warm up ules, rules, and expectations, is not easy. Sharing, and remain on the periphery, taking it all in while turn taking, planned napping, novel foods, resisting any initial involvement with people or materials. Over time, with encouragement, their wariness may abate, and they may slowly begin 50

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 51 to follow the daily routine. The patience and re- Modifying the Learning Environment sponsiveness of teachers or caregivers are critical here. Altering the learning and interpersonal envi- ronment for Kiani is essential. Tempering expec- Kiani’s behavior appears to be on the more chal- tations for circle time is indicated here. If Kiani lenging end of the behavioral spectrum. However, cannot make it through an entire activity (as is true rather than their accentuating this negative aspect of many children this age), then a shortened pe- of her demeanor, it is critical for her teachers to step riod would give her an opportunity for success. back and reframe their perceptions of Kiani in Starting with a short interval such as 3 to 5 min- order to improve the overall tenor of her school ex- utes is a good beginning. Gradually increasing perience. This takes tremendous effort and plan- time within the group would help Kiani to realize ning for teachers, as well as a psychic shift where that she is capable and is a part of the community. they must make a conscious change in how they Assigning a helpful shadow or primary caregiver regard Kiani. By modifying their focus to Kiani’s to quietly remind Kiani of the rules could be use- positive attributes, her teachers can see a child who ful. A gentle hand on her shoulder or a whisper has tremendous capabilities and potential. They in her ear suggesting that she raise her hand will also see a child who has some social and emo- might encourage Kiani to respond appropriately. tional issues that need attention. Kiani’s problems, Kiani might also benefit from one-on-one time while a part of her, do not define who she is. This with her teacher when she could receive undi- approach is diametrically opposed to one in which vided, positive attention. As demonstrated in the her teachers direct their energies exclusively to paradigm of “floor time,” children benefit from getting Kiani to conform. In the latter, the teach- having an adult be attuned to their specific needs ers are more likely to fail. and signals (Brazelton & Greenspan, 2000). In floor time, children are empowered to direct the Nonverbal Communication play and interaction in a one-on-one situation. Having daily opportunities to assume a leader- As her teachers make efforts to acknowledge ship role is a powerful gift. Allocating this time and build on Kiani’s strengths, they are simulta- to slowly establish and practice communication neously more cognizant of their own nonverbal could help Kiani gain a sense of control and behaviors: frowns, sighs, and other signs of exas- lessen her tendency to melt down when stressed. peration. Nonverbal communication is a powerful Children spend much of their day being told yet often unconscious response. A teacher’s lan- what to do. Maintaining an overly rigid response guage, both verbal and nonverbal, is a strategic and insisting on immediate compliance is not tool in modeling and supporting learning (Brady, helpful in that it perpetuates a power struggle Forton, Porter, & Wood, 2003). Kiani’s teachers between a child and his or her teachers. At the also need to self-reflect to ascertain if their verbal same time, establishing a plan and maintaining and nonverbal messages are congruent with how consistency is critical for learning and incorporat- they are feeling. Children are quick to pick up ing the rules for the classroom. inconsistencies in communications and may con- tinue to maintain maladaptive patterns as a result As transitions are particularly problematic for (Seeman, 2000). Therefore, in practice, teachers Kiani, she personally needs advance warning be- need to come to terms with how they view a child fore the change of activity takes place. Planned and how they convey their feelings. In some cases, rehearsals of the transitions might also help Kiani reconciling negative perceptions takes consider- know what to expect. Giving her a special object able work. It is reasonable for teachers to vent their to take with her, in a modification of Winnicott’s feelings and frustrations and seek the advice of (1987) concept of the “transitional object,” could their colleagues. However, indiscriminate conver- allow Kiani to focus on something other than the sations in the presence of any child or adult is poor change in activity and facilitate her getting from practice and harmful. Figure 5.1 shows the Teacher point A to point B. Providing Kiani with a task, Self-Reflection Inventory (refer to Appendix D) as such as carrying the purple ball, holding the door, completed by one of Kiani’s teachers to examine or being the line leader, would also rechannel her the teacher’s own behavior. energies in a more productive way.

52 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom Figure 5.1. Teacher Self-Reflection Inventory Name Beatrice Date of Observation 10/28/04 Directions: Rate each item. Think about one or two examples to support each answer. 1 = never 2 = rarely 3 = sometimes 4 = often 5 = always Tone Relationships with Children My tone is positive and nonthreatening. I establish relationships with the children in my class. 1 234 5 1 2 3 45 5 I modulate my voice as a teaching tool. 5 I look at children’s faces and body language to gauge their reactions. 1 234 1 2 345 My students understand my humor. I use active listening skills with the children. 123 4 1 2 345 Comments Comments While I try to remain positive, Kiani’s behavior really pushes my I try to form a relationship with Kiani but am often put off. I buttons. Lately, I notice that I focus on her negativity and am wonder if she thinks that I don’t really like her. She really tests always reprimanding her. me, and I find that irritating. Language Classroom-Management Skills My students understand my vocabulary and the way I use language. I clarify classroom rules and expectations on a regular basis. 1 2 345 1 2 3 45 I state my expectations clearly. I respond consistently with logical consequences. 1 2 3 45 1 234 5 I individualize my responses to each child. I encourage the children to communicate and problem solve. 1 2 345 1 2 345 Comments Comments What I do seems to work with most of the kids. But with Kiani, I don’t think I am consistent with Kiani, mostly because she is so maybe I am not specific enough about my expectations during difficult and I give up. While I think I am clarifying rules for the circle time or transitions. Just telling her to stop is not working. group, she obviously needs more individualized efforts in this area. Reflections and Goals It is hard to admit that having Kiani in my classroom is a tremendous challenge and that I am often grateful when she is absent. Maybe if I look at her strengths, I will like her more and she will respond by following the rules.. Negotiating is another method of assisting concrete means of providing feedback to the child Kiani with her transition struggles. By offering a following the successful completion of an activity. desirable activity at the end of the transition, Kiani Behavior modification, the use of rewards and may be inclined to shift gears more easily. For ex- punishments to shape behavior, should be imple- ample, she might be promised special time with a mented cautiously, as they can diminish a child’s book or the opportunity to set the table for snack natural inclination or motivation to do the right if she leaves the gym without a fuss. The goal here thing (Kohn, 1999; Montessori, 1967). However, for would be to enable Kiani to be part of the solution, some children an external incentive, whether in capitalizing on her leadership skills and perhaps the form of praise or stickers, can mobilize a child minimizing her need to express herself through in the short term. Teachers are advised to try al- defiance. Another possible strategy might be the ternatives before relying on compensation to use of a sticker chart. Used consistently and de- change children’s behavior. It is always necessary fined clearly to the child, behavior charts are a to review and modify behavior plans, as they tend

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 53 to lose effectiveness over time. Distracting a child out; does not shout). When Kiani has mastered the to avoid a conflict, such as letting him be the line skills shown in Figure 5.2, more behaviors can be leader, is a variation on behavior modification. added, such as participation in group activities and Instead of rewarding desired behavior, an incen- responding to questions. Expectations can also be tive is provided beforehand. extended. At first, Kiani would get a sticker if she demonstrated the desired behavior once during Because of Kiani’s young age, a sticker chart circle time. With time, Kiani might need to exhibit would work best if it focused only on one venue the behavior consistently throughout the circle and a limited number of behaviors (see Figure 5.2). time to merit a reward. Eventually, Kiani would Her teachers might choose to target circle time be expected to meet all three criteria before receiv- because it is a daily routine carried out at a set time ing a sticker. The ultimate goal is for Kiani to fol- and place. Kiani’s “buy-in” to this process is im- low these classroom conventions without the perative, so she should be allowed to choose the need for external reinforcement. She would re- type and color of the stickers, in this case, pink ceive gratification from her teachers’ smiles and smiley faces. Older children could also help par- praise and ideally from the activity itself. Other ticipate in selecting the criteria and incentive. children might need a stronger incentive than just a sticker. Lunch with a teacher, extra computer Note that with a positive reinforcement plan, time, or even a tangible prize could be given after behaviors specified for reward are stated in the positive rather than negative (e.g., does not call Figure 5.2. Kiani’s Circle Time TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY MONDAY SITS WITH LEGS CROSSED IS QUIET WHILE OTHERS TALK RAISES HAND BEFORE SPEAKING

54 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom the child reached a particular goal (e.g., demon- one point. We’re still working on sitting strating positive behavior five times within a still and not calling out. Kiani seemed week). The specific reward and time frame de- very sad today at naptime and kept pends on what would motivate an individual saying that her mommy is coming to child. get her. Was she supposed to pick her up today? Communication with the Family Beatrice Another critical component in addressing 11/4 Kiani’s difficulties in school would be the involve- Kiani’s mother has not been home ment of her mother and grandmother. Building a for a couple of days. I keep telling Kiani trusting relationship with the family is critical that she’s coming back soon, I have no here, as the teachers and caregivers need to work idea where my daughter is or when together to provide greater consistency for Kiani. she’s coming back. She does that from The objective of discussions with Kiani’s mother time to time. I know Kiani misses her and grandmother would not be to place blame but mother. rather to brainstorm on how best to understand Mrs. Carter and meet Kiani’s needs. Using a communication journal that would go back and forth from home Nov. 5th to school could help to facilitate the dialogue and Kiani was feeling a little sad today so better inform the teachers of Kiani’s state when she she wanted to write to you. These are arrives in school. Kiani could even be involved in Kiani’s words: “Grandma, I miss you. I the journal-writing process, by dictating how she want to go home. I miss Mommy. I’m is feeling at home or school. A small memo pad or being a good girl today.” notebook that can be put into a child’s lunchbox or backpack is a convenient medium for commu- Beatrice nication. The following entries are taken from Kiani’s journal: 11/5 Thank you for letting Kiani “write me” Nov. 3rd and tell me that she was a good girl in Overall, Kiani had a good day. She school. I tell her that school is very, built a really tall tower of blocks with Ali very important. I took Kiani out to and played nicely in the pretend play McDonald’s for dinner as a special area with some of the other girls. treat for being such a good girl. Circle time is still a challenge for Kiani Mrs. Carter even though we’ve cut it down to 5 minutes for her. Since Kiani got soaked This forum informed Kiani’s teachers about the at the water table, she could use an special circumstances at home that might have con- extra change of clothes. Thanks. tributed to Kiani’s mood as of late. It led to her teachers being extra sensitive to Kiani and gave her Beatrice grandmother insight about her feelings while at school. Naturally, the willingness of teachers and 11/3 parents to record their observations varies signifi- I talked to Kiani about being bad cantly. As demonstrated above, entries do not have during circle time and she promised to to be lengthy, but they do need to be descriptive and be good tomorrow. I’ll send in a change clear. of clothes. Mrs. Carter Inviting Kiani’s guardians to come into class to observe Kiani directly will further help them under- Nov. 4th stand her issues. Reaching out to a social worker, Kiani tried very hard today during school psychologist, or other administrators for circle time. She even participated at additional input might be necessary to get support and to ensure a comprehensive perspective.

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 55 Occasionally, teachers in the same classroom might see Danielle as a very powerful figure, one disagree on how best to address behavioral prob- who exhibits tremendous control over her envi- lems. One teacher might be reluctant to approach ronment. It would not be unusual for some to a child, either because her style is more laid back emulate Danielle’s behavior. Other children might or because she is unwilling or unable to physically be angry or frustrated by Danielle’s apparent will- intervene. Her colleague may perceive that re- fulness and make elaborate attempts to get her to sponse as either lazy or ineffective. Sometimes a speak, bringing excessive attention to the issue. As teacher may respond by overindulging a child in the preceding vignette suggests, some of Danielle’s order to prevent acting out. This response may be classmates have taken on a mothering role, believ- at odds with the teacher who wishes to set limits. ing they are helping by communicating for her. These inconsistencies send a message to the child that she can play adults against one another. Re- Friendships sentment may build as one teacher feels the bur- den of responsibility to manage the misbehavior. Establishing friendships, an important devel- Differences in disciplinary practice and role need opment for kindergarteners, consists of a begin- to be aired in order to create a balance and some ning awareness and an understanding of others’ degree of consensus. perspectives (Elkind, 1994). Children of this age develop meaningful and satisfying relationships SELECTIVE MUTISM through play and verbal discourse, which includes sharing, listening, and responding appropriately Danielle is a 5-year-old attending full- (Thompson & Grace, 2001). Danielle’s new friend- day kindergarten. Since the beginning ships are atypical because of her intermittent ver- of the school year 6 months ago, she bal shutdowns. Her classmates do not understand has refused to speak to any adults, her purposeful silences, causing some reluctance though she selectively speaks with to interact with her. Without an adequate expla- peers. Danielle readily engages in all nation from Danielle or Ms. Robinson, children group lessons and activities; however, may wonder or worry about what is wrong with she does so without verbalizing. Her Danielle. Even the girls who have chosen to align classmates often ask why she themselves with her may feel some ambivalence. does not talk to grownups, but While they want to be Danielle’s friend, at times Ms. Robinson avoids giving a direct they may resent the undue responsibility they answer. Recently, some of the girls in have assumed. Ms. Robinson might use a Peer the class have become protective of Interaction Checklist (refer to Appendix C) to bet- Danielle and automatically speak for ter illuminate the quality of her relationships (see her. Danielle’s parents know about her Figure 5.3). selective mutism, as it manifests itself with various family members, and have Theoretical Perspectives begun family therapy. The early childhood years between 3 and 5 are Danielle’s behavioral difficulties in school are characterized by significant cognitive gains. Chil- not overt. She is not disruptive or demanding, and dren are cognizant of physical and social relation- she follows directions and complies with rules. ships and continue their “meaning making Some teachers might even consider Danielle to be endeavor” of the world (Piaget, 1954). They absorb an ideal student. Yet Danielle’s silence notably facts and phenomena and offer insightful expla- affects the social and emotional dynamics in her nations for events they witness. In Piagetian class. The other children observe her interactive theory, moving from preoperational thinking in style but cannot fully comprehend her complex which naive perceptions predominate to a more psyche or motivations. Therefore, they are left to realistic and concrete representation of experiences speculate on why a child who is capable of speak- involves active negotiations with others. Question- ing would choose to remain silent. Some children ing about the practical and theoretical drives children’s construction of knowledge during this

56 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom Figure 5.3. Peer Interaction Checklist Name of Student Danielle Grade/Class K-3 Date of Observation 2/9/04 Observer Mrs. Robinson Setting We’ve just finished circle, and the children have picked activities for center time. Danielle did not answer me when asked where she wanted to go. After the 21 other children in the class chose one of five stations, Danielle slowly walked over to the puzzle table and sat down. Three girls and a boy were already at the puzzle table. Overall Behavior Observed Not Observed N/A Child typically engages in positive interactions with peers. N/A Child has developed appropriate and meaningful relationships with peers. N/A Child demonstrates tolerance when mildly provoked. Comments Overall, Danielle is a nice girl. The children like her, and the girls mostly include her, but at times they are frustrated and confused by her unwillingness to talk. Danielle sometimes hears the kids asking me why Danielle doesn’t talk, and I don’t really have a great answer for them. I just realized that Danielle prefers to hang out with girls because I rarely notice her in groups with boys. During this observation, Danielle worked on her puzzles (quietly) without speaking. I think this is because I was seated at the table. Is it also because Charlie was in the group? Small Groups Within Classroom Observed Not Observed Child expresses ideas clearly to peers. ? Child demonstrates ability to listen to peers. Child compromises as needed for the group process. Comments Although, Danielle will speak to certain girls, I’m never able to hear the content of her verbalizations. As soon as I get close enough to hear, Danielle becomes quiet. I have no idea if Danielle listens to her friends. She sometimes looks at them while they speak, but not always. I do see her speaking after someone else has spoken, but I don’t know if it is a direct response. If she doesn’t answer the other children’s questions, it would be understandable that they would find her odd. Unstructured Periods (Lunch, Recess, Snack Time, Transitions) Observed Not Observed Child finds a place within a group. Child refrains from following those who are misbehaving. Child possesses ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. Comments It’s interesting that Danielle does not seem to have trouble during unstructured activities. Either she’s invited to join a small group or she will quietly approach an individual or group. Danielle seems to be most comfortable with Heather and Britney, but there’s no one she has conflicts with. I think that there will be increasing problems during the rest of the school year because some children seem to be losing patience with her. period. Danielle is missing out on this essential ties. That is not a viable option for Danielle because cognitive growth experience because of the psy- her vocal apparatus is functional. chological conflict within her. If she were physi- cally unable to speak, she would likely be taught Another relevant construct for children 3–5 years sign language or a technological form of commu- of age is what Vygotsky (1978) referred to as the nication to allow her vital interactive opportuni- zone of proximal development. As explained in Chapter 1, the zone is attained when young children

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 57 reach higher levels of cognition with the guidance is not unusual for children to have competing of an adult or more competent peer. Vygotsky be- needs within a classroom community. Teachers lieved that interactions with peers and adults were naturally gravitate toward the child or children an integral part of children’s cognitive as well as whose problems are the most glaring—the social development. Through dialogue and play, squeakiest wheel, so to speak. After all, teachers the less accomplished child is encouraged to ex- must prioritize. Fortunately for Danielle, she was plore, test, and practice new skills and is helped to noticed and undoubtedly benefited from her assimilate novel ideas. One can witness children teacher’s personalized attention. However, the achieving Vygotsky’s conceptualization of the zone teacher did not necessarily recognize the influ- of proximal development by informally observing ence of Danielle’s behavior on her classmates, children at play. Danielle does not reach this zone who regarded her uniqueness with uncertainty with adults because she holds back sharing her and confusion. Some children inexplicably be- opinions, predictions, and questions. Vygotsky came her pseudoguardians, though they were not would suggest that Danielle’s full engagement in developmentally mature enough to effectively interactive experiences was necessary for optimal cope with this task. Children can adversely affect cognitive growth. While Danielle is learning pas- others in their surroundings when they perceive sively, she is for the most part not an active par- that their questions, concerns, and needs are sec- ticipant in her education. Both Vygotsky and ondary. However, children easily assimilate with Piaget emphasized the need for a relationship be- a wide range of peers. Differences seem natural tween the learner and the environment in the ac- and are not necessarily obstacles to interaction. quisition of knowledge, concepts, and skills. The key to creating harmony within a heteroge- neous environment is ensuring that every child is Understanding the necessity of Danielle’s re- observed and responded to in an individualized gaining her voice, the teacher worked closely with and sensitive manner. Danielle, her family, and her therapist. From on- going communication with Danielle’s parents, the OVERPROGRAMMING teacher learned that Danielle willingly spoke on the telephone at home. As a creative solution, the Five-year-old Emma has an extremely teacher provided daily opportunities for Danielle busy life. Her after-school activities to talk on a cell phone. Danielle was given one include Suzuki violin and ballet classes, phone while her teacher spoke to her from another swimming lessons, and gymnastics. room using a second phone. Gradually, over the Emma also has tutoring once a week to course of several months, the physical distance help her develop prereading skills and between Danielle and her teacher decreased. Even- vocabulary. Additionally, she has fre- tually, Danielle would converse with her teacher quent playdates, following her extracur- by cell phone in the same room. By the end of the ricular classes. Emma comes to her school year, Danielle felt comfortable enough to kindergarten class dressed in the latest speak to her teacher without the aid of the tele- fashions and is averse to getting dirty. phone, and this milestone was generalized to other She complains about various aches and adults and children. Although there were occa- pains, is often reluctant to participate sional setbacks, the cell phones facilitated Danielle’s in activities, has frequent tantrums, breakthrough. This successful intervention was and has on occasion been caught lying. possible because of the support of the administra- tion, who ensured that the class was covered when Emma presents a portrait of what David Elkind these telephone sessions took place. It was a super- (2001) describes as a “hurried child.” Elkind main- lative example of a school-based multidisciplinary tains that the consequences of our rapidly accel- individualized treatment plan (Dow, Sonies, Scheib, erating pace within society are higher expectations Moss, & Leonard, 1999), coordinating the efforts of placed upon children. He bemoans the extinction the parents, teachers and clinicians. of childhood, as we know it. The result is a highly pressurized growing-up experience with a demand Perhaps the greatest challenge for the teacher was addressing Danielle’s special issues while si- multaneously attending to the rest of the class. It

58 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom for intellectual and social achievement. Parents are that her desire to excel causes her to withdraw exposing their children to, if not bombarding them rather than to persevere. Observing the specific with, a myriad of activities and cognitive pursuits circumstances under which Emma complains is in an effort to “jump-start” their growth and devel- important, to flush out this subtle communication. opment. Often, these children, reacting to undue Modification of Emma’s school day may involve stress and excessive overscheduling, act out in a additional downtime, quiet moments with the variety of ways. teacher, and reassurance that her work is valued unconditionally. Witkin (1999) cites school stress How can Emma’s teachers understand the eti- as children’s greatest concern in their response to ology of her aches, pains, and tantrums? Noting the KidStress survey. Older children worry about the quality of Emma’s interactions with other chil- doing their work, getting good grades, meeting dren and adults as well as the time of day or ac- deadlines, and disappointing their parents. Get- tivity that may trigger Emma’s behaviors can yield ting ready in the morning, following new routines, some clues. As a first step in this inquiry, Emma’s and playing with other children can be extremely physical complaints need to be examined more challenging for younger children. The daily ritual thoroughly. A visit to the school nurse and an of saying good-bye can be painful, and the new appointment with her pediatrician is indicated to faces of both children and teachers can be intimi- rule out a physiological reason for her symptoms. dating. Efforts on the part of the teachers to help Children who suffer from a cold or the flu or a Emma with this transition and to acknowledge her chronic condition such as asthma may exhibit fa- feelings might help her feel more comfortable in tigue, clinginess, and tearfulness and, at times, her kindergarten environment. misbehave to call attention to their discomfort. Certain medications also have behavioral side ef- A meeting with Emma’s parents can be ex- fects and must be considered when exploring the tremely helpful in better understanding the under- reasons for a child’s behavior. lying reasons for her behavior. Elkind (1988), in his examination of preschoolers at risk, looks Emma may be reacting to the pressure of her at parenting practices as contributing factors. overly demanding after-school schedule. Young Emma’s overscheduled day may be an effort on children often express their worries through their her parents’ part to raise a “superkid,” a practice bodies. According to a KidStress Survey, the three that creates stress and, according to Elkind, is a most frequent symptoms reported by children form of miseducation. Some parents enroll their were insomnia, stomachaches, and just feeling sick children in an excessive number of activities be- (Witkin, 1999). Some examples of these “kid com- cause they simply do not know how to keep them plaints” were “My stomach kills,” “My stomach occupied. This tendency to overload may result in always hurts,” or “I just ache all over.” Behavioral children being less able to entertain themselves. A symptoms such as temper tantrums were also re- discussion with Emma’s parents about her needs, ported in preschoolers who relied on physical in- having realistic expectations for her, and the pos- stead of verbal coping mechanisms when stressed. sible negative consequences of such a busy sched- Regression, moodiness, withdrawal, excessive ule might lead to some changes in her after-school clinginess, restlessness, and refusal to go to school calendar and, as a result, in her behavior. In prepa- may be additional behaviors exhibited by stressed- ration for a parent-teacher conference, Emma’s out children. Children need unhurried time in teachers gathered the following anecdotes: which to daydream and imagine, to process their day, and even to be bored. Emma’s behavior may 11/10/04 be a call for help—an admission that her day is too Emma was reluctant to participate much for her and that she wants to slow down. Acting out through behavioral means or tantrums during center time. She refused to might be her nonverbal way of communicating her choose an area, complaining that her distress. stomach hurt. She sat quietly on a chair watching the children. When I Emma’s physical complaints may have another asked her if she wanted to take a book, message as well. Perhaps she has a stomachache she said no, saying she was too tired. I only when asked to perform a challenging activ- asked her if she had gone to bed late ity in which she is afraid she will fail. It is possible

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 59 and she said no. I sent her to the ute to her physical and behavioral symptoms, par- nurse, but the nurse sent her back to ticularly if her parents caution her not to get dirty. class shortly after. Elkind (2001) warned parents and educators that dressing children as miniature adults with de- 11/11/04 signer clothes can be harmful because it creates Emma came dressed to school in a unrealistic expectations of the child. lace dress and black patent leather Lying shoes. When I asked her to come to the table to draw she said no and Emma’s teacher also has some concerns about started to cry. When I approached her, Emma’s not telling the truth. Children between 3 she continued to protest, stating that and 5 years of age do not have the same cognitive she didn’t want to get her dress dirty. structures as adults and at times confuse reality and fantasy. Brazelton and Sparrow (2001) assert 11/12/04 that lying is part of a 4-year-old mode of operation. Emma was in the dramatic-play area Lying implies that children understand the differ- ence between pretend and real, when in fact that with Megan and Shana. They were is not always the case. An apparent lie may be an preparing dinner for their babies. attempt to avoid being blamed or punished for Emma began protesting that the other misbehavior. Lying can also be a result of an in- two were taking the food that she tense wish for something. Through the untruth, a wanted. I asked what was going on, child may be more able to cope with the reality of and Megan and Shana said that Emma not getting what he or she wants. If, for example, wasn’t sharing. Emma immediately Emma said that her family got a puppy when it complained that her tummy hurt and was known that she did not, the teacher might left the area to sit by herself. engage Emma in a conversation about how much she likes dogs and the different types of dogs that During a meeting with Emma’s parents, her Emma knows. The use of diversion from the per- teachers will share these anecdotes to give them a ceived fabrication helps both teacher and child to more complete picture of what her day is like. The move forward. If the teacher confronted Emma anecdotes should illustrate Emma’s struggles with- about lying, Emma would likely stick to her story, out placing judgment or blame. Ideally, the teach- and the two would be at an impasse. Labeling ers will not rush to provide solutions before the Emma’s words as lies is not productive. It is best parents have a thorough understanding of what is to avoid a confrontation and instead focus on the going on in school. Giving their opinion too soon child’s feelings or the desired behavior. might put Emma’s parents on the defensive. When Emma’s parents ask what they could do to help Emma’s “lying” may also be related to her need Emma, the teachers could then seize the opportu- to please and be accepted by her peers. Addressing nity to share their perspectives. In discussing her her worries about being liked and having realistic after-school schedule, there would be a chance to expectations of herself may help Emma learn about see if that was beneficial for Emma. Her teachers the positives of being truthful. Learning to be hon- might want to inform them that kindergarten is est is a long-term process that is acquired in part a place where it is acceptable to get dirty, and through the modeling of caring and accepting suggest that Emma’s expensive clothing may in- adults. Teachers can help in this journey by mak- advertently interfere with her willingness to par- ing it safe for children to tell the truth even when ticipate. Educating Emma’s parents about the they are scared of the consequences. Circle time is typical activities that take place throughout the an ideal venue for introducing the skill of role-play- day may heighten their awareness of how Emma ing. Here, the focus would be on the importance of should come dressed to school. Ascertaining the telling the truth. The goal is for the children, Emma role of dress in Emma’s family would inform the as well as her classmates, to relate the role-play to teacher if Emma is worried that her clothing might their own experiences. The following role-playing get ruined and that her parents would be angry activity during circle time illustrates how early with her. Emma’s worries could possibly contrib-

60 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom childhood teachers can address an issue without PRESCHOOL AGGRESSION confrontation. This allows children to reflect with- out feeling threatened and being defensive. Three-year-old Ethan has recently begun attending nursery school 3 days Teacher: I’m going to pretend be a girl in our a week, his first group experience. class who does not always tell the truth. She Ethan frequently grabs toys from other makes up stories to her friends and says that children and will sometimes hit to get they are true. Christina has volunteered to what he wants. When his teacher tells play my friend in this role-play. Listen him to stop, he will, but his grabbing carefully because when we’re done I’m going and hitting subsequently resume. Some to ask you what you think. of the older children have verbalized their dislike of Ethan, while the younger Teacher: Hi Christina, guess what? ones exhibit fear of him. As a response Christina: What? to parents’ complaints, the teacher is Teacher: I’m going to be on television. considering removing Ethan from the Christina: You are not. You’re just a kid. program. Teacher: I am too. And I’m going to make a lot of Many young children go through periods when money, and buy a really big house and all the they exhibit behavior that is considered aggressive. toys I want. Engaging positively with peers requires skills that Christina: I don’t believe you. You’re lying. many 3-year-olds have not yet mastered. Children Teacher: When I get my new house, you can do not fully understand the underlying causes of come over and live in it too. And then we can their emotions, and they cannot yet verbalize com- be best friends, or even sisters. plicated or ambivalent feelings and wishes. They Christina: You always make up stories. I don’t have less ability to control their actions, which are want to be your friend. the result of frustration or worry that they do not Teacher: Please be my friend, Christina. I prom- comprehend. Sharing and waiting turns, behav- ise I won’t make up stories anymore. iors necessary for group interactions, are not yet fully integrated into children’s behavioral reper- Following the dialogue, the teacher would ask her toire. Children learn normative behavior in part students to imagine how each child in the role-play through ongoing experiences with peers that are feels. She would also ask them how they would feel guided by adults. if they were the children in the situation. They could speculate about why the child makes up stories and While aggressive behavior in 3-year-olds is not discuss how to be a good friend. This indirect method atypical, it can be vexing for teachers and caregivers enables children to brainstorm and try out various who must protect all the children in their charge. solutions to problems. Note that effective role play- Without adequate support, those children who do ing requires careful direction and practice. not seem to respond to discipline can overwhelm early childhood educators. They may doubt their Magical thinking (Brazelton & Sparrow, 2001; abilities and wonder if they are cut out for their Fraiberg 1959), a variation on lying, is another profession. Talking to colleagues who share simi- characteristic of 4-year-olds. This may include lar experiences can provide early childhood edu- imaginary friends who are sometimes conve- cators with suggestions, alternative perspectives, niently blamed for infractions of the child. As and validation. with lying, teachers should avoid challenging the existence of pretend companions because it will The Whole Child only be met with resistance. If Ethan’s teacher was introspective by nature It should be noted that lying in older children or had collegial support, she might see beyond needs to be considered differently. Children who Ethan’s aggressive behavior. She would not only can developmentally distinguish between reality think of Ethan as the kid who is hard to handle but and fantasy are cognizant of when they lie. There- also as the sweet child who requires special atten- fore, chronic lies in older children may be indica- tive of emotional or social concerns and need to be investigated further.

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 61 tion. Focusing on the positive in a child is not easy about?” Parents often feel that teachers blame when a negative pattern dominates. However, them for faults in their children. They can be eas- when caregivers see a whole child—wit, intellect, ily offended, especially when they already are con- preferences, and vulnerabilities—liking a difficult cerned or feeling guilty. Teachers must first build child is possible. Connecting on any level enables a trusting relationship without judgment, so that adults to be more tolerant and patient. The reasons parents feel safe to share their child-rearing prob- for a child’s poor social skills would then be care- lems. One possible way to successively involve fully considered and solutions explored. Educators parents would be to ask them to document their serve as positive role models; when they are more experiences, just as the teachers do at school. The positive toward Ethan, the children will be as well. Parent Observation Form (refer to Appendix F) encourages parents to be objective and focused. (If Once Ethan’s teacher has a broader view of possible, the form would be translated into any him, one that includes his positive attributes, she non-English-speaking parents’ native language.) may be more motivated to investigate the nature It allows them to select those situations that tend of his difficulties. She might discover that Ethan to provoke troublesome behavior. The Parent had few social experiences with peers prior to be- Observation Form completed by Ethan’s father is ginning nursery school and did not have sufficient presented in Figure 5.4. opportunities to practice turn taking and using words to describe what he wants. If so, then Ethan These brief comments from Ethan’s father would need time to internalize the rules for inter- provide tremendous insight that can be used pro- action and the consequences of not following the ductively to help Ethan. From his father’s observa- program’s conventions. Social skills are not inborn tions, the teacher learns about the sibling dynamics and must be learned within a particular cultural and Ethan’s neediness. This enriched understand- venue. ing of Ethan’s behavior will lead the teacher to be more attuned to him. She can also empathize with Involving the Family his parents’ frustrations and gently guide them to anticipate Ethan’s instigations, perhaps suggest- Communicating with Ethan’s parents could ing that Ethan may need their attention rather than also uncover clues about his struggles. The teacher the latest toy. might learn that Ethan’s newborn sibling was tak- ing up much of the family’s time and energy and Involving Peers that there has been increased fighting with his 7-year-old brother. Ethan had become excessively As Ethan’s teacher observes him and works whiney and clingy at home and expressed reluc- collaboratively with his parents, she must also tance about leaving his mother to go to nursery consider the feelings and behaviors of the other school. This awareness would make Ethan’s children in her care. They have shown their teacher much more sensitive to him. Children who dislike for Ethan both verbally and nonverbally. want attention from adults will look for it in both While their attitude toward Ethan may be justi- positive and negative ways. If Ethan’s teacher and fied, it can inadvertently reinforce his negativity. parents together agreed to offer Ethan more spe- The children in the class must learn techniques cial time, it might decrease his need to seek out for coping with the situation. They need to be negative attention. Reading books about new sib- aware of when they can help Ethan and when lings and validating Ethan’s ambivalent feelings they should leave him alone. By explaining to the about the new baby are tools for moving Ethan into children that Ethan is having a hard time but a more socially positive mode. that he wants to be their friend, the teacher could build on their feelings of empathy and solicit their A word of caution is warranted. While educa- cooperation. Children are often the best teachers. tors are encouraged to collaborate with families Who better to show Ethan how to be a friend? and look to them as the true experts on their chil- Once the children are part of the process, they will dren, teachers must delicately broach the subject be more apt to show compassion toward Ethan. of home issues. A teacher could unintentionally Daily circle time is an opportunity for teachers insult a parent or guardian simply by asking, “Is to assist children in coping with complex and anything going on at home that I should know

62 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom Figure 5.4. Parent Observation Form DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES Date Feb. 8 Aiden’s behavior has deteriorated significantly throughout his kindergarten Child’s Name Ethan year in a parochial school. His parents are in the process of a divorce, and Parent’s Name Bradley Williams Aiden is regularly exposed to his par- ents’ show of animosity toward each Choose from the following situations that are problematic other. In class, Aiden has a low frustra- for your child. Complete one Parent Observation Form for tion threshold and can be defiant, each situation. especially when confronted with reac- tions to his misbehavior. His physical Coming home from school outbursts include kicking, hitting, head Homework butting, biting, and spitting. Aiden uses After-school activities a plethora of expletives when he is Mealtime/food upset. Most distressing to his teachers Playdates/peer interactions is Aiden’s intense crying in response to Waking up/Getting ready for school being removed from an activity or the Traveling in the car classroom. Despite his behavior, Aiden Chores is a popular boy. Following rules and routines Bedtime Divorce, even under the most amicable circum- Grooming (baths, brushing teeth, toileting, dressing, etc.) stances, can provoke a range of behaviors in chil- Separations dren of all ages that are uncharacteristic of them. Sibling interactions Given that one out of two American marriages Other ends in divorce (Gestwicki, 2000), educators must be prepared to support children and their families Problematic Situation Sibling Interactions through this difficult time, which may last as long as a few years. The effects of divorce may be short When It Occurs all the time—dinnertime, bedtime, term or longer lasting, depending on the age of the weekends particular child and his or her resilience and cop- ing skills. The way in which the parents deal with Frequency/Duration until I threaten to take away their the emotional consequences of the separation, the Game Boys and Game Cube degree to which the split influences the child’s day- to-day routines, as well as the nature of available Observation Ethan is always bothering his brother Jared. support also have an impact. Because these factors Jared is 7 and doesn’t always want to play with his little can vary even within a family, it is possible for one brother. Ethan goes into Jared’s room and takes his toys sibling to be more significantly affected. It is also without asking. Somehow the toys usually end up broken. feasible that a child will not manifest any noticeable Then all hell breaks loose. symptoms, yet it is imperative that adults vigilantly watch for signs of stress over time. Schools cannot Your response I get really angry with Ethan, because he avoid getting involved when the effects on the has to learn to respect his brother’s property. I work very child are profound and the parents regularly share hard and don’t want to deal with this when I come home. their concerns with the educators. My wife has given up because she says they fight all day long and she’s busy with the baby. Taking away their Children will respond to an impending or final- video games is the only thing that works. ized divorce in a multiplicity of ways. Difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating, and regression to What do you think is really going on? I guess he’s earlier stages of development are frequently ob- looking for attention. We give him a lot of stuff—all the served. Increased anger and frustration are also newest toys—but it’s never enough. I guess he could use common, as young children may not be able to some friends of his own, that’s why we put him in nursery pinpoint and articulate the source of their unhap- school. But that’s not working out. challenging peer interactions. Role-playing within that circle helps young children develop communication skills that can be useful with a range of peers and situations. Dramatic-play ex- periences can also promote social competence in children with varied temperaments and abilities.

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 63 piness. Some children are reluctant to discuss the issue at hand is whether a child should continue change in their family structure because they are to attend a religious or private school. Teachers can embarrassed, have not yet accepted the inevitable, inadvertently give credence to one parent’s claim or are not developmentally mature enough to if they are not cautious. With some ex-couples, understand such a complex situation. Older chil- being in the same room together inevitably leads dren, in particular, do not want to stand out from to confrontation, and separate parent-teacher con- their peers and may be reticent about discussing ferences should be scheduled. Here, teachers must what is going on at home. Others are extremely be diligent about sharing the same observations, verbal about their feelings and readily convey their concerns, and requests at both conferences. Ar- experiences, sometimes to the point of irritating ranging duplicate copies of report cards, invita- peers. tions to school events, and perhaps school work is a time-consuming task that must be carried out In divorce, children must adapt to new living consistently. Schools should keep copies of cus- arrangements that may also be accompanied by a tody agreements on file to guarantee that their change in financial status. It is not unusual for moth- obligations are fulfilled. ers to return to full-time work following a divorce to make ends meet. While this can be a positive Without specific training in this area, early child- experience for a mother who is creating a new life hood and elementary school educators must extend for herself, it can also be seen as another loss to a their role and provide emotional and psychologi- child who previously had his or her mother avail- cal support to children. Because preoperational able all the time. Moving to a new home can also children view events in their world as emanating contribute to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. from their own needs (Piaget, 1926), children often Regardless of the family finances, children’s height- shoulder the blame for their parents’ separation. ened need for time and attention during this criti- Over time, these children need to be reassured that cal period must be paramount. they are not responsible. Children may also need to be dissuaded from trying to get their parents to Teachers who are assisting a child through a reconcile. troubling divorce may feel that there are competi- tive forces at play. Despite parents’ genuine caring Aiden’s response to his parents’ divorce may and concern for their children, the pain of divorce be extreme, but it is not unique. His emotions are sometimes makes them self-involved, often at the tumultuous and include anger, frustration, re- expense of their children. Children often find them- sentment, fear, guilt, and worry. These feelings selves in the middle of a power struggle between are powerful and overwhelming. His needs are their parents. Teachers who have unlimited under- no longer the focal point in his family, and Aiden standing for the egocentricity exhibited by young is spiraling downward. Aiden’s family requires children may not be as patient with adults. Yet professional intervention, and his teachers have being receptive to a parent who is hurting and who a responsibility to help them secure the appropri- has few or no family and friends is good practice. ate services. To that end, teachers must document Remaining compassionate while not being pulled their observations of Aiden, share their experi- into an unwanted role of psychologist or friend ences, and make a firm request for therapy (e.g., takes skill and tact. Teachers need to set boundaries play therapy or art therapy) perhaps more than while gently reminding parents to refocus their at- once. Some parents do not immediately follow tention on their child or seek professional counsel- through on suggestions made by their child’s ing for themselves and their child. teachers or administrators. Often, parents need time to process what has happened to their fam- Staying neutral can be difficult for teachers when ily and may not be ready to accept what their child it seems that one parent was wronged by the other. needs. It is advantageous for the school to provide However, appearances can be deceiving and teach- a list of qualified psychotherapists who accept the ers are advised to not take sides. This can be fairly family’s health insurance plan. When the family tricky during parent-teacher conferences when one has no insurance, the local mental health associa- parent manipulates the teacher to argue his or her tion can locate practitioners who base their fee on point in a heated debate. Heads-up planning can a sliding scale. Once Aiden begins to receive psy- prevent a teacher from becoming trapped in such chological support, the school’s administrators an uncomfortable predicament. Sometimes the

64 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom should request permission for the teacher to speak HEART START PRINCIPLES to his therapist. Ideally, the therapist would be invited to observe Aiden within the classroom The practicing, communicating, learning, and setting to facilitate an interdisciplinary team ap- testing of boundaries that take place during the pre- proach between administration, teachers, thera- school and kindergarten years set the stage for the pist, and parents. A support group for children of ongoing educational world into which the young divorce led by the school’s psychologist or social child is about to embark. This growth and develop- worker is also indicated. ment occur not only in the cognitive sphere, but in the social-emotional realm as well. Griffin (1994) In school, Aiden’s teachers struggle to main- highlights the importance of the emotional founda- tain a peaceful environment when his behavior tions of school readiness that go beyond the stereo- is particularly disruptive. Aiden’s issues some- typical three Rs. Heart Start, a language of school times overshadow the activities and accomplish- readiness, refers to social-emotional skills as pre- ments of the other children. To manage Aiden requisites to successful learning. This framework when he decompensates, the principal had been includes seven characteristics that are the founda- removing him from the classroom. This was done tion for later learning. in part to protect the other children but also as a punishment. Wanting Aiden to be fully inte- 1. Confidence: A sense of control and mastery of grated into the classroom, his teachers decide to one’s body, behavior, and world. The child’s stop routinely calling the principal for help. They sense that he is more likely than not to succeed want Aiden to see them as willing and able to at what he undertakes, and that adults will be help him. The teachers are guiding Aiden to be helpful. more cognizant of his own emotions and to con- nect them to the way he behaves. They developed 2. Curiosity: The sense that finding out about things a private signal that Aiden can use when he feels is positive and leads to pleasure. he is losing control and needs the teachers’ atten- tion or to be away from the other children. One- 3. Intentionality: The wish and capacity to have an on-one time with a teacher gives him an impact, and to act upon that with persistence. opportunity to calm down. This dynamic is restor- This is clearly related to a sense of competence, ative, as it allows him to learn coping skills and to of being effective. regain control while preserving his dignity within the classroom. There is also a quiet, private space 4. Self-Control: The ability to modulate and control within the classroom that is available to the chil- one’s own actions in age-appropriate ways; a dren when they need alone time. sense of inner control. Aiden’s teachers have opted to ignore his un- 5. Relatedness: The ability engage with others based suitable language for now in the hope that the on the sense of being understood by and under- cursing will lose its power when not reinforced standing others. with attention. When young children first use curse words, it is usually because they are mim- 6. Capacity to communicate: The wish and ability icking what they hear, in some cases on school to exchange ideas, feelings, and concepts with buses. They soon discover that adults and older others. This is related to a sense of trust in others children respond rather strongly and that these are and of pleasure in engaging with others, includ- special words. Some children purposefully verbal- ing adults. ize inappropriately to get a desired response from adults. Aiden’s teachers notice that he only curses 7. Cooperativeness: The ability to balance one’s own when he is angry. Correcting Aiden does little needs with those of others in a group activity. to change the situation because he cannot respond (p. 6) reasonably when he is enraged. Selective ignoring and removal of the anticipated shock factor is All these characteristics are essential for the often sufficient to extinguish the undesirable young learner to adapt to school and be able to behavior. absorb the richness of the cognitive, social, and emotional environment. However, with a current emphasis in schools on test scores that merely re- flect a child’s academic prowess, it is rare that cur- riculum prioritizes the acquisition of these vital skills. As a result, some children are moving on from pre-K and kindergarten lacking qualities that

The Preschooler and Kindergartner 65 will promote their learning. The pressure from CONCLUSION high-stakes testing puts further stress on children who are already vulnerable in the social- Developmental discipline, coupled with a com- emotional sphere, possibly contributing to an in- prehensive social skills curriculum, targets chal- crease in behavioral difficulties in the classroom. lenging behaviors from early on to ensure an It is hard for public school teachers to balance optimal educational experience. With both teach- curricular mandates and at the same time provide ers and families sharing their observations and col- an environment that adequately prepares chil- laborating on problem solving, children are more dren for lifelong learning. Some states, including successful. Building on this chapter, we recommend New York and New Jersey, require character edu- that teachers do the following: cation as part of their standards to facilitate the development of social skills. However, the meth- • Anticipate that children need time to adjust ods by which this is fulfilled vary considerably to separations from district to district. To be successful, social skills programs need to be integrated, reinforced, • Avoid labeling children’s differences as be- and generalized throughout the school day dur- havior problems ing group, individual, and center time. Without consistent and thoughtful attention to education • Look for positive attributes in children that stresses social skills and emotional intelli- • Pay attention to children’s nonverbal com- gence (Goleman, 1995), children will not be equipped to handle the rigor of more sophisti- munication cated interpersonal classroom challenges as they • Recognize the importance of peer interac- get older. The ensuing behavioral consequences disrupt learning on both the individual and group tions and friendships level. • Use behavior modification strategies spar- ingly, and always customize them to the par- ticular child • Invite parents to engage in formal observa- tions of their children

66 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom 6CHAPTER School-Ager Issues Eight-year-old Nicholas repeatedly perseverate over details, and the completed work comes to school without his homework. takes an inordinate amount of time. After-school Mrs. Conner, his teacher, has ob- activities sometimes interfere with homework if served that Nicholas copies the assign- parents do not convey that it is a priority. “IMing” ment from the board but rarely friends, checking baseball scores, playing video completes or turns in all the required games, and watching television are other distrac- homework. When Mrs. Conner asks tions that compete for children’s attention. As a about it, he responds with a shrug and result, homework is sometimes begun too late in the does not give a definitive answer when evening, when children are already fatigued. pressed about the issue. Nicholas Homes can also be too noisy and chaotic for chil- states that his mother does not care dren to concentrate. For some children, homework whether he does his assignments or is just too hard to do without adult support. Their not, believing that it is only busy work. parents might be too busy or not present at all, and In conversations with Nicholas’s subsequently homework does not get done. On the mother, Mrs. Conner learns that she is other side of the continuum are parents who may a single parent who is not home when think they are helping by actually doing the work he returns from school. Both the rather than guiding their child through the process. babysitter and Nicholas’s mother en- gage in daily homework battles with There are several reasons why Nicholas may him. His mother attributes his resis- not be prepared for school. Lacking adequate help, tance to the fact that he has Attention he has grown accustomed to getting away with not Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). doing his homework. He may be telling his mother he has completed his assignments when he has HOMEWORK BATTLES not, and she does not have the strength to follow through with him. Given his difficulties concen- Nightly struggles over homework are common. trating on a task for an extended period of time, Children approach the task in various ways de- he may have reached his satiation point by the time pending on their temperament, learning styles, school is over. His medication for ADHD might interest level, motivation, and abilities. Some rush wear off by late afternoon, which compromises his through their assignments, with sloppy, incom- attention span. He also could have learning dis- plete results. They may wait until the last minute abilities that interfere with his ability to organize for long-term projects, asking to go to the library and process information. There may additionally the night before the assignment is due. Others are be gaps in Nicolas’s knowledge base because of his so meticulous about their final product that they tendency to tune out. Although Mrs. Conner knows that Nicholas cop- ies his assignments from the board, it is unclear if 66

School-Ager Issues 67 he omits vital information. Perhaps the directions Figure 6.1. Homework Environment Checklist are vague, and he does not know how to begin. Rather than ask for clarification or do his work Suitable lighting incorrectly, Nicholas might prefer to avoid it alto- Natural light if possible gether. Questioning the teacher, particularly if he is worried about seeming stupid, is not easy. Time Minimal noise in room constraints during the school day could prevent Soft instrumental music is acceptable Mrs. Conner from being available for explanations. It is also possible that the actual assignments are Limited distractions uninteresting, even unreasonable, and not de- No television, radio, video games velopmentally or academically appropriate. The No unrelated conversations in room material may not have been taught effectively, and as a result, Nicholas gives up rather than at- Sufficient space for work materials (varies with task) tempt something he does not understand. His Clutter free mother, already overwhelmed by having sole re- sponsibility for his care, may not have the skills Good writing surface to assist him. She might be unfamiliar with the Desk or table material itself or have learned it through differ- or ent methods. As a result, she may yield to his re- Clipboard/slant board sistance rather than work with him to help him overcome his weaknesses. Nicholas is spiraling Proper seating into a pattern that is neither productive nor con- Non-swivel chair that is size appropriate (feet reach floor ducive to his academic success. and back is supported) or Supporting Families Cushion to support back if seated on floor, bed, or couch A proper setting is critical for children to learn Materials that may be needed for assignments are the importance of their homework. Parents need easily accessible to establish this environment early on in their children’s educational lives. A space that is clut- Paper (lined, construction, graph, scrap, index cards, ter free, separated from distractions such as tele- stick-on notes) vision, video games, and extraneous conversations Pencils/pens/markers/crayons/highlighters is essential. Providing such necessary materials as Erasers/correction fluid/pencil sharpener sufficient paper, writing implements, and a dictio- Scissors/glue/paper clips/stapler nary also helps children complete their work. A Ruler/protractor/compass/calculator checklist, for example, the one shown in Figure 6.1, Folders can be distributed to parents at the beginning of Dictionary/thesaurus the school year to serve as a reminder of the nec- Word processor/Internet essary ingredients for homework success. munal space under a parent or caregiver’s watch- Depending on a particular child’s temperament, ful eye. Questions may need to be answered and activity level, and distractibility, a specific time the acquisition of new learning skills guided, en- frame may be designated for homework comple- couraged, and reinforced. While it is not always tion. Some children prefer to tackle their assign- realistic for parents or guardians to be present to ments as soon as they return home from school, supervise homework, children’s work should be while others need some downtime or a snack, to reviewed until the children are sufficiently inde- help them refuel after a long day. Children, who pendent. Homework is not expected to be mistake procrastinate past the dinner hour with requests for free. Teachers use homework to assess what areas “just one more show” lack the cognitive energy are problematic for their students and to then re- necessary for fulfilling their responsibilities. view as indicated. When there is a major discrep- ancy between the quality of schoolwork and Young children such as Nicholas might benefit homework, teachers know that parents are more from doing their work in the kitchen or in a com- involved than they should be. Communication be- tween teachers and parents can clarify expectations

68 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom about how parents should support their children’s The developmental discipline method encourages learning. teachers to consider the whole child. Information that is gleaned during observations is useful in The impact of Nicholas’s home learning envi- developing individual strategies that will mini- ronment as well as his attention deficits should be mize homework struggles. Parents need to com- explored. Both Mrs. Conner and Nicholas’s mother municate with their child’s teacher if the work is can work together to better structure homework too difficult or takes an excessive amount of time. time, beginning with a closer look at his strengths, Teachers rely on feedback from parents to help weaknesses, and interests. Perhaps Nicholas’s them judge whether their assignments are realis- work needs to be modified—quantitatively, quali- tic. For a child with special needs, trouble with tatively, or both. Tempering requirements to be homework may necessitate a reassessment of goals more reasonable given his short attention span by the child-study team. Together with the parent may be helpful. and teacher, new, more targeted goals may be in- stituted for the short term to enable the child to Homework Guidelines overcome his or her homework challenges. At the beginning of the school year, teachers ATYPICAL SOCIAL SKILLS must establish homework guidelines and state their expectations regarding parental involvement. Since kindergarten, Ashley has had This information needs to be reviewed and rein- trouble getting along with peers. Now a forced over the course of the year. When commu- third grader, she is regularly antagonis- nicating with families, educators must take into tic, defiant, and both verbally and account children’s varied backgrounds and lan- physically hurtful toward her class- guages. All letters and notices must be written in mates. Few girls in the grade are straightforward language to ensure mutual under- willing to include her in their free-time standing of the child and parent’s role. Translation activities, and Ashley frequently com- into additional languages may also be necessary, plains that everyone is being mean to depending on the population served. her. Boys and girls are quick to blame Ashley for problems, and unsupervised Teachers can offer strategies for those children interactions between Ashley and her who struggle with homework completion. For classmates typically lead to arguments. example, a timer can be useful for children who Some parents have told their children take too long to finish their work, as well as for to stay away from Ashley. Ashley says those who have trouble sitting for prolonged pe- that she does not want or need friends. riods of time. This needs to be determined on an Her teacher, Miss Romano, is frus- individual basis between teacher and parent. For trated, because she is not able to the younger child, or for the child who is disorga- provide Ashley with the constant assis- nized, the teacher must make sure the homework tance Ashley needs in social situations. is copied thoroughly into a planner or notebook Miss Romano worries that Ashley will and that the necessary materials are placed in the never be able to repair the harm she child’s backpack. To save time and avoid distress, has done to other children and conse- some teachers opt to have prepared copies of the quently to herself in this school. homework assignment for children who find writ- ing or copying particularly arduous. Part of the Ashley’s ongoing problems with peers may child’s homework may include a parent’s signa- seem insurmountable. Miss Romano has at- ture indicating that the work has been checked. tempted to help Ashley engage positively, but has The overall goal would be to wean children away not been effective for any length of time because from these steps once they are able to take respon- the children seem fixated on past altercations. A sibility for their own work. Mastery of these skills history of dislike and mistrust between Ashley can take quite some time. and her classmates keeps Ashley from moving A child’s attitude and approach to homework are important emotional indicators for the teacher.

School-Ager Issues 69 forward. Whether in working groups or recess, towards them reached their tolerance threshold. Ashley’s feelings of being wronged and her class- Ashley’s predicament may be even more distress- mates’ unwillingness to give her another chance ing because she is a girl; some 8- and 9-year-old girls inevitably lead to conflict. may be less forgiving and hold on to grudges longer than boys. Boys who are not so dependent upon Miss Romano has a huge task ahead because verbal exchanges can work out their differences she must not only address the social climate in her physically on an athletic field. Ashley was not wel- class but must also explore the contributing factors comed back into the fold even when there were over the past 4 years: reprieves for her unkind behavior. • How have Ashley’s difficulties been ad- Adaptations in School dressed in earlier grades? Helping Ashley necessitates radical modifica- • What are the contexts in which Ashley inter- tions to her school routine: removing her from acts cooperatively? social situations where she is bound to fail. The three most problematic areas are sitting in clus- • Are the feelings and behaviors of Ashley’s ters with other children in the classroom, eating peers being considered? in the lunchroom, and participating in unstruc- tured recess. Hinson (2001) highlights the many • Have Ashley’s parents been enlisted? problems that arise in typical, unstructured re- • Is Miss Romano fully aware of the complex- cess. He suggests that children who are overac- tive become even more hyper in the absence of ity of the social dynamic within her class, or formalized activities. Simultaneously, there are does she focus exclusively on Ashley? children like Ashley who cannot socialize with- out guidance. These children are unable to en- Connectedness, or a sense of belonging, is a gage positively with others and use recess time human need (Maslow, 1954). People typically seek productively. Without carefully orchestrated out others for comfort and companionship, al- games, Ashley acts out in order to connect on though they differ in their preference for solitude. some level to the group. While restructuring re- Most children enjoy satisfying peer relationships cess might be advantageous for Ashley and oth- beginning in infancy or toddlerhood (Thompson ers who struggle during this time, another option & Grace, 2001). They develop interpersonal skills, is to provide her individual attention away from among them speaking, listening, turn taking, and the tumult of the large group. cooperation, gradually and steadily over time. Struggles and conflicts result as children practice Supervising Ashley apart from the other chil- and test these abilities. Learning ensues as past dren is a major undertaking and requires commit- encounters bring new awareness and expertise to ment on the part of the faculty, but it is crucial in future social interactions. With minimal adult in- undoing ingrained, predictable responses. Ashley’s tervention, children gravitate toward peers and teacher, and ideally an administrator, would alter- take pleasure in talking, working, and playing. By nate lunching with Ashley. Not a punishment, this 9 years of age, it is common for children to have at special lunchtime would allow Ashley to express least a couple of close friends and to also be part her feelings, attain undivided positive attention, of a larger clique of the same gender (Wood, 1997). and direct the interactions (see discussion of floor time in Chapter 5). For example, books could be For a small number of children, learning to read, games played, or research conducted on the engage with friends is not a natural process. Be- computer. Keeping in mind Ashley’s weaknesses, cause of innate temperament and environmental the teacher or administrator should eventually en- experiences, some children do not easily assimi- courage Ashley to invite a friend to join them. In late conventional social skills. Systematic instruc- incremental steps, the number of children partici- tion and supervised facilitation is thereby pating would increase (to a maximum of four required. Children also benefit from psycho- or five) and the amount of adult facilitation and therapy to reveal underlying or overt anger, de- mediation decrease. The following anecdotes by pression, or anxiety. Ashley’s difficulties seemingly went unchecked for so long that it ultimately poisoned an otherwise normal social setting. Children who had previously included Ashley in their play despite her actions

70 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom Miss Romano illustrate the progression from very much wants to be their friend, but Ashley’s individualized lunchtime to successful she inevitably ends up antagonizing small groups. them. Every time Sarah and Elizabeth spoke to each other, Ashley tried to October 2003 physically place herself between them. I Ashley was initially angry when I told tried to distract them from the tension in the room by initiating conversation her that she would be having lunch and and suggesting games. While Sarah recess with me every day. She said it and Elizabeth were enthusiastic, Ashley wasn’t fair that only she got into trouble vetoed every suggestion. She com- because the other kids are so mean to plained that the girls were excluding her. I emphasized that this was not a her, but she made no attempt to punishment but rather a way for her to cooperate. have an enjoyable break time. When asked, she said that she would want January 2004 other kids to join us but couldn’t name Some days are better than others anyone that she liked. Ashley is clearly lonely, and I don’t want to further with Ashley. I’ve discovered that when I isolate her, but I know leaving her to choose the children who join us for fend for herself in a large group just lunch and recess, and I determine the doesn’t work. I’m hoping some one-on- activities, she will more likely participate one time with me will build her confi- pleasantly. However, when I give Ashley dence and get her to think a little bit too much freedom, it tends to go awry. before acting. Having boys in the group does not seem to make any difference. With November 2003 structure and supervision, Ashley can Our daily lunch and recess have be a fun and cooperative playmate. Fortunately, the children in our class turned out to be very pleasant for are getting to see this positive side, Ashley and for me. She’s a talented girl and our enjoyable interactions have who sings, dances, and designs carried over into the classroom, though clothes. Her mood has improved a bit inconsistently. over the last couple of weeks, and she seems to relish our special time to- The goal of these private recess/lunchtimes is gether. Today, Ashley invited Sarah to for Ashley to return to her regular routine. How- join us. At first Sarah was not thrilled, ever, it could be a considerable length of time be- but she ended up having a good time. I fore Ashley is ready for this monumental step. An let the girls play on my computer. adult specifically assigned to keep an eye on Ashley was reluctant to let Sarah have Ashley would help ensure a successful transition a turn so I had to intervene. After back into the large group. Ashley saw that Sarah was being par- ticularly nice to her, Ashley offered At the same time that Ashley was receiving in- Sarah half of her doughnut. Small steps dividualized support, the rest of the third graders . . . Ashley asked Sarah to come back would be learning self-reflection and coping strate- tomorrow and Sarah said yes. gies to aid them in relating positively with Ashley. This is best achieved with ongoing class meetings, December 2003 possibly combined with a predesigned social skills Today’s lunch and recess was very program (see Chapter 2). Through structured dis- cussions and role-playing, students would think challenging. Ashley invited Sarah and about their own behavior and discover productive Elizabeth. Elizabeth and Sarah are best solutions to interpersonal problems. Rules of en- friends. I had a feeling this might not gagement must be clearly determined to prevent the work, but it’s what she wanted, and the process from becoming a destructive forum in two girls were willing to come. Ashley

School-Ager Issues 71 which classmates are named and blamed. Ashley does not in itself indicate that there is a problem. might feel that her classmates were ganging up on However, noting a constellation of behaviors her if she was the focus of the sessions. Yet if the over time may suggestion a need for intervention. group refrained from pinpointing individuals and Given the overcrowding and teacher shortages in was both nonjudgmental and supportive in nature, many public schools, there is not enough people Ashley might be willing to describe her own per- power to fix all the problems concerning children ceptions. The door would be open for genuine dia- and their families. That said, teachers cannot suc- logue and problem solving. Children would learn cessfully educate students if the students are not to recognize other viewpoints and work toward emotionally available for learning. For teachers common goals. One resolution could be in the form to do their job well, they must see their responsi- of a “peace treaty,” a signed document pledging bilities as being comprehensive and be available to be respectful and inclusive to all classmates. to children and their families. Peer pressure can be a powerful motivator or im- petus for change in school. Here, peer pressure ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION would be orchestrated for the betterment of the IN CHILDREN community. Hailey has always been a quiet and Reaching Out to Families reserved child. This year as a second and Professionals grader, she has withdrawn from both children and adults. Often teary, Working with Ashley’s parents is clearly pivotal Hailey seems sad and tense. Hailey for her development. They can provide information excels academically but is averse to about Ashley’s functioning outside of school, sup- participating in group discussions. port the school’s efforts, and make suggestions She recently started refusing to eat based on what they have observed to be effective. in the lunchroom and spends lunch- The faculty can reassure Ashley’s parents that their time and recess with her teacher or child is genuinely cared for and that structures are an administrator or in the main in place to help her succeed. They would likely office. Her parents have informed the make a recommendation that Ashley receive pro- principal that they are concerned fessional services in the form of individual therapy because Hailey says that she doesn’t and a social skills group. If Ashley’s parents were want to go to school anymore. Morn- resistant to the idea of psychological assistance, the ings are very difficult for everyone school would be instrumental in helping them rec- when Hailey will not enter the school ognize it is what Ashley needs. With diligence and building after being brought by her persistence the educational team would hopefully mother. persuade Ashley’s parents to attain services for her. Hailey presents with three specific behavioral There are those who would argue that schools issues: her reluctance to enter school, to go to the are not responsible for children’s psychological lunchroom, and to communicate with peers. well-being. After all, teachers are not trained to Coupled with her apparently fragile emotional be psychologists or social workers and may not state, Hailey is a child in crisis. It would be rea- always know how to advise families about psy- sonable to direct the intervention primarily to her chological evaluations, counseling, and alterna- noncompliance, especially because her actions tive therapeutic schools/settings. When a child are a burden to the school’s staff. However, that does not follow a typical pattern of development would not address the core of Hailey’s difficul- (Elkind, 1994; Wood, 1997), educators must care- ties or the cause of her regressive behavior. At- fully document observations. These observations tempts to modify her behavior without attending may later be used when providing evidence that to her thoughts and feelings would not result in professional assistance is warranted. A list of red- permanent change, and the problem could pos- flag behaviors (see Figure 4.2) can further alert sibly manifest itself in another form. Hailey must teachers and administrators if outside consulta- tion is necessary. Observing a behavior on this list

72 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom be assessed holistically (physically, emotionally, a plan for alleviating Hailey’s stress while she is in socially, and cognitively) with consideration given school and, if indicated, at home as well. to the interaction between these systems. Background Information Hailey’s problem is complex and may emanate from more than one source. A combination of fac- Anxiety and depression in children is not a new tors is often responsible for behavior patterns. phenomenon. By the end of the 19th century, the Discerning all the possible reasons for Hailey’s field of childhood psychopathology was clearly escalating isolation and then zeroing in on the op- established and there was great interest in erating variables take time and teamwork. children’s psychological health (Knopf, 1984). At Hailey’s parents initiated the process by sharing that time, the child-study movement’s systematic their concerns, and now the school should follow approach to observing children’s behavior and, up with a meeting. Those who work closely with later, Freud’s psychoanalytical theory focused on Hailey—the classroom teacher, the principal, and the frustrations and emotional conflicts of child- perhaps a specialist—would come to the meeting hood. The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Sta- with documented observations of Hailey in vari- tistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American ous contexts of the school day. The goal of this Psychiatric Association, 1994) defines several first meeting would be to better understand the forms of childhood anxiety, including separation nature of Hailey’s distress and determine the di- anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, rection for intervention or further investigation. overanxious disorder of childhood, and posttrau- matic stress disorder. Anxiety and depression can Brainstorming with Hailey’s parents would overlap with obsessive-compulsive disorder, hopefully yield pertinent information about her panic attacks, social phobia, selective mutism, underlying issues. They would describe her early and trichotillomania. When left untreated, these development and prior group experiences and maladies can lead to social isolation, peer rejec- draw possible links to her current situation. Her tion, loneliness, and low self-esteem. parents could note if Hailey was similarly troubled outside school and whether the problem Currently, the prevalence of anxiety and de- suddenly appeared or was progressive. Some- pression in school-aged children is staggering. times children are afraid to leave home, not be- Research on children 9 to 17 years of age indicates cause of school, but because of worries at home. that levels of anxiety, which are strongly linked to Hailey had already confided in her parents about depression, increased substantially from the 1950s her feelings regarding school so they could probe to the 1990s (Twenge, 2000). Twenge noted that for further details. Is she being teased or bullied? contemporary “normal” children report the same Did she witness or experience a traumatic event? level of anxiety and depression as children in the Does Hailey have concerns about her academic 1950s who were psychiatric patients. Anxiety dis- achievement or about her relationship with her orders are said to afflict 12–20% of children and teacher? adolescents in the United States (Velting, Setzer, & Albano, 2002). In particular, anxiety-based Along with the family’s invaluable insights, the school refusal is said to affect 2–5% of school-aged faculty would interject their own anecdotes related children (Anxiety Disorder Association of Amer- to Hailey’s affect and interpersonal interactions. An ica, 2003). Recent studies also show that up to 2.5% innocuous vignette where a child jokingly called of elementary school children experience a clini- Hailey weird could turn out to be significant. The cally significant episode of depression (Fristad, discussion should also explore Hailey’s reluctance Shaver, & Holderle, 2002). Within clinical samples, to raise her hand in class; participate in class dis- the rates of depression in children range from 13– cussions; and go to large, noisy venues such as the 15%. Children are at increased risk if there is de- lunchroom. Hailey’s teachers would suggest that pression in a parent or other family history. While she displays heightened anxiety and depression in some attribute the rise in anxiety and depression academic and social situations and needs profes- to lower social connectedness and more environ- sional help. A medical and possible neurological mental threats, the origin may also be genetic or examination is called for to establish if she would idiopathic. benefit from therapy, medication, or both. This outside intervention would be in conjunction with

School-Ager Issues 73 Supporting depressed and anxious children in destructive behavior, anxiety levels can rise. Ac- school is not always easy. After all, everyone expe- tivities that take place outside the structure of the riences some degree of sadness and nervousness. classroom, such as specials, lunch, recess, and hall- Without the expertise of an on-site psychologist or way passing, can be especially difficult for children social worker, teachers and administrators must who need quiet and order. While most children first be aware of significant problems and then de- easily adapt to the noisy, fast-paced, and some- vise ways to help children cope. Criteria for identi- times chaotic routines of the school day, teachers fying children who may be excessively depressed and administrators must recognize the impact of or anxious are presented in Figure 6.2. these potential stressors on individual children. They also need to examine their possible role in School Stressors exacerbating the stress in the classroom. School can be extremely stressful for some chil- Hailey is a child who requires special attention dren. Academic demands contribute to children’s to reduce her apprehension throughout the day. It anxiety. Spending up to 8 hours a day in a large would be useful to have one adult greet Hailey ev- group with no opportunities for privacy can feel ery morning and ease her entry into the building suffocating. When class sizes are especially large and her classroom. A consistent individual demon- and classmates regularly engage in disruptive or strating caring and support would ideally build Hailey’s confidence and her ability to indepen- Figure 6.2. Childhood Depression and Anxiety dently transition into school. Hailey had already removed herself from school lunch and recess by Signs of Childhood Depression refusing to go. However, supervision of Hailey Adapted from Berk (2005) and Copeland (2001) during this daily period was not sufficiently planned, resulting in uncertainty for her. A set Discernable sadness schedule for where Hailey is to go every day would Loss of pleasure and interest in activities be reassuring and ultimately beneficial. The adult Withdrawal from people, routines, or both who spends one-on-one time with Hailey could Deterioration in school performance initiate communication in a gentle and compassion- Disturbances in sleep and appetite ate manner. Teaming her up with one child who can Difficulty concentrating act as a buddy may also serve as a bridge to her Low energy peers. Distinctive experiences like these, which are Restlessness sensitive to children’s needs, are necessary to ensure Expressions of hopelessness that each child thrives in the school environment. Excessive neediness and clinginess Increased irritability RACIAL ISSUES Aggressive behavior Aaliyah is a first-grade student in a Signs of Anxiety in Children suburban elementary school. The Adapted from Bourne (2000) population is fairly homogeneous, with the majority of students being White. Shortness of breath Aaliyah, who is African American, went Heart palpitations home upset about comments that her Trembling classmates made to her earlier that Muscle tension day. They said that her hair was funny Sweating and that her skin looked dirty. In re- Nausea or abdominal stress sponse, her mother immediately went Excessive worrying to the principal, asserting that her Restlessness daughter was the victim of racism. Irritability Disturbed sleep Children are cognizant of physical differences Difficulty concentrating and often mention these disparities when engaged Reluctance to participate or transition in routine activities

74 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom in conversation. It is not always easy to determine verbal barbs. A child’s status may rise on the if comments such as those made to Aaliyah are basis of the quality of his or her “put-downs.” The benign rather than intentionally hurtful. Aaliyah’s media models this style of interacting through situ- classmates, through their own observations, may ation comedies on television in which children be merely delineating variations in physical ap- “learn it is funny to be insulting” (Thompson & pearance rather than making discriminatory re- Grace, 2001, p. 108). marks. Developmentally, they may not be aware that their words are insulting or racist. First grad- Responding to Children’s Insensitivity ers have not yet fully developed social skills such as good judgment, impulse control, the ability to Regardless of whether the comments made to reflect, and a sense of the possible consequences Aaliyah were racist or innocent, there needs to be their words may have. a response. Even if the teacher witnessed the of- fensive remarks firsthand, she might choose to Children often lack regular exposure to cultur- carefully observe additional interactions between ally diverse people when growing up in suburbia. the children before intervening. Of course, if They may only interact with children who look like Aaliyah approached the teacher for assistance, an them, speak the same language, and come from immediate reaction would be necessary. Before similar economic backgrounds. Tolerating or, bet- automatically reprimanding the other children, ter yet, appreciating differences has to be taught and the teacher would want to better understand the modeled initially at home and, later on, at school context of the remarks. With Aaliyah by her side, and in the broader community. she would approach the group and question the children about what was said. Through this con- Racism is an uncomfortable topic about which versation, the teacher would be enlightened people are often afraid to talk. Despite how far this about what factors are operating: society has come in the battle against racism, in many cases people who act or look different are • Were the children trying to hurt Aaliyah? often perceived as threatening. For example, those • Were they merely curious about her physi- who speak with an accent or dress in a unique style based on religious beliefs may be teased, rejected, cal appearance? or even scapegoated. In mainstream culture, stan- • Is there an undercurrent of racism or intol- dards of beauty are generally defined as “White” and those who come from different cultures are erance in the classroom? often compared and measured based on that stan- • Was Aaliyah being overly sensitive? dard (Wiseman, 2002). Clearly, in the elementary school world, where children are jockeying for To begin to answer these questions, the teacher position in various social groups, looking differ- needs to first step back and assess the cultural cli- ent can lead to insults and ostracism. The pressure mate of the classroom. Part of this investigation to conform and maintain a sense of belonging to includes a self-study to identify one’s own biases the group can perpetuate acts of cruelty, even if to (Kolozak, 2004). Everyone has biases. Being cog- commit such acts requires relinquishing empathy nizant of them will prevent their intrusion into and kindness. In a sense, the unwritten rules may one’s practice. When teachers go through an intro- require children to act in ways that are not recog- spective process, they can create an environment nizable, and actually to contradict their belief sys- in which fairness and equity are mainstays of the tem. Group members can use words as weapons curriculum. As discussed previously, the teacher and as a means of asserting power against out- might implement a social skills curriculum that siders. While teasing and name-calling are uni- proactively addresses issues of diversity and respect versal pursuits of both young and old, certain for others. A shared language and mutually agreed- insults cross the line, making the victim feel upon rules built into the curriculum can circumvent worthless and humiliated. Thompson and Grace the teasing, name-calling, and hurtful comments (2001) consider name-calling the verbal equiva- that are so common among students. Most impor- lent of physical fighting. While preschoolers rely tant, students from diverse backgrounds should be on comments such as “I hate you” or “You’re stu- empowered to express themselves and handle so- pid,” school-agers resort to more sophisticated cial challenges within the classroom setting. Teach-

School-Ager Issues 75 ers need to help children engage in a dialogue Figure 6.3. “Accepting the Sneetches” Lesson Plan that appraises differences objectively and values uniqueness, individual beauty, and identity. Each Goal child might be asked to draw his or her self- The goal of this lesson is to help students learn to appreciate portrait, followed by a discussion about the physi- racial differences. cal characteristics and traits that make each child special. A role-play situation in which children Objectives practice various scenarios could help them feel more prepared to counter negative or hurtful state- Students will interpret the meaning of Dr. Seuss’s story, ments. To cultivate positive feelings, the teacher “The Sneetches.” might ask the students to write something that Students will talk with one another about physical differences. they like about each of their classmates. Aaliyah, Students will be more sensitive in their interactions. in particular, could benefit from some strategies on how to respond individually to her classmates’ Materials questions and observations. These include walk- ing away from unpleasant conversations or using The book “The Sneetches and Other Stories” by Dr. Seuss humor to defuse negativity. Knowing when to ask (Geisel, 1961) for help from an adult is another important cop- Blank paper ing skill. Crayons and markers Chart paper and marker Valuing cultural diversity in the classroom needs to be an ongoing focus. Teachers must Time Frame develop curricula that go beyond a superficial 1 hour total—about 40 minutes for a read-aloud of the book, a multicultural approach (Phillips, 1994). Just pay- discussion, and a drawing activity; students will share their ing token recognition to other cultures during drawings on the following day, which should take no longer Black History Month, Chinese New Year, or Cinco than 20 minutes. de Mayo is nothing but a “tourist curriculum.” Derman-Sparks (1989) talks about the need for an Procedure antibias curriculum that integrates diversity into 1. In a whole-group setting, the teacher reads the first story in the physical environment, books, materials, and learning activities. the book, “The Sneetches” (pp. 1–25). 2. Throughout the reading, the teacher checks for Aaliyah’s teacher might develop activities that specifically address the issues in her classroom. A understanding with questions such as sample lesson plan is presented in Figure 6.3. As a. Why were the Star-Belly Sneetches unkind to the Plain- demonstrated by the sample lesson, a meaningful dialogue raising awareness about racial differ- Belly Sneetches? ences can easily be initiated. Teachers do not need b. How do you think the Plain-Belly Sneetches felt about extensive materials or training to raise children’s consciousness and increase their cultural sensitiv- being left out? ity. Respecting diversity and acknowledging simi- c. Why do you think the Plain-Belly Sneetches wanted larities is an important ingredient for building communities. stars on their bellies? d. Is it better to have plain bellies or stars on your bellies? Children need to see themselves represented in e. In the end, how did the Sneetches “get smart”? literature, pictures, and discussions throughout 3. Following the reading, the children are asked to think about the year. On an ongoing basis, leaders and parents and then discuss why the teacher chose this book. from various ethnic groups might be invited to talk 4. The teacher makes certain that the children understand the to children about their careers and life experiences moral of the story before proceeding to the next step. to serve as role models for all children. 5. Children are asked to independently draw a picture of a scene in the book that they find most hurtful. Students work Aaliyah’s mother is understandably upset for at their desks. her daughter. Her concerns need to be addressed, 6. On the following day, the teacher gathers the whole class even if it turns out that she has overreacted. The into the meeting area. Students are asked to share their faculty needs to share their understanding of the pictures, telling why someone in their scene was hurt. 7. Teacher charts students’ responses, noting patterns. 8. The teacher asks the children what they learned from the book and the sharing of their drawings. Homework Students are assigned the task of discussing the book with their parents. Modifications for Special Needs/Differentiated Instruction Larger crayons are provided for children with fine-motor difficulties. Students who are able to write are encouraged to add text to their artwork. Evaluation Teacher will discern the effectiveness of this lesson by observing students’ willingness to talk about racial differences and the quality of their subsequent interactions.

76 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom situation and at the same time clarify what is de- ior problems because they can be uncooperative velopmentally appropriate in first grade. They and resistant to routines (Clark, 2002). would communicate about what steps are being taken to build a classroom community that pro- Teachers and administrators typically do not motes tolerance and mutual respect. Most impor- receive sufficient training in educating the gifted tant, the teacher must convey that Aaliyah’s and talented and may not know how to address emotional well-being is a priority. The faculty these children’s special needs. A 1996 survey by would pledge to be vigilant in their observations the National Research Center on Gifted and Tal- of Aaliyah and her classmates and act accordingly ented found professional development in gifted if there were any overt signs of racism. education to be quite limited (Westberg, Burns, Gubbins, Reis, Park, & Maxfield, 1998). The re- GIFTED CHILDREN searchers indicated that school districts spend just 4% of their professional development budget James is an extremely bright fifth on in-service related to gifted education. With in- grader. Despite being given additional creased pressure on schools for students to meet work, he often complains that he is minimal levels on standardized tests, attention bored. During lessons, he will either turns to the weaker students. Teachers take for read a nonrelated book or call out granted that their most capable students excel answers before other students have a without individualized attention or modifica- chance. James laughs when other tions. School can be dreadful for students who children make mistakes and says, find the work too easy and are not intellectually “That’s so easy.” He is quick to correct stimulated. It is not surprising that between 15% his teacher in front of the class and will and 40% of children identified as gifted on stan- barrage her with questions to prove dardized tests are considered underachievers her wrong. James frequently gets into (Seeley, 1993). Using a broader definition of gift- struggles with peers during recess and edness, it is estimated that up to 85% of gifted stu- gym class, as he always strives hard to dents are underachievers (Sisk, 1987; Whitemore, be first and best. James’s parents are 1980). informed when he is unkind to peers and disrespectful to teachers, but they When identifying gifted children, educators attribute his difficulties to an ineffective rely on criteria defined by researchers, theorists, curriculum that does not address his and organizations. With the development of the giftedness. Stanford-Binet test in 1921, giftedness corre- sponded with intelligence; a child with an IQ of James’s boredom in school is a serious issue. It 140 and above (or the top 2% of the population) is not the only reason he has social difficulties, but was considered gifted (Terman, 1925). In 1972, the is nevertheless a factor. A child like James, who is commissioner of education published a report to hard to challenge academically, is a familiar fig- Congress (Marland, 1972), which included mul- ure in today’s classroom. He completes his work tiple traits to define the concept. Children who at a rapid pace, always seems to know the answers, show potential or outstanding achievement in at and dominates small-group and classroom discus- least one of the following six categories is consid- sions. James has a hard time fitting in with peers ered gifted: general intellectual ability, specific in part because he is so different from them, academic aptitude, creative or productive think- cognitively and behaviorally. He makes sure every- ing, leadership ability, ability in visual art or the one knows how smart he is, which can present as performing arts, or psychomotor ability. Renzulli arrogance. It is common for exceptionally bright (1978) distinguished giftedness as a state, rather students to feel bored and subsequently resentful than a permanent trait: children can be gifted in that they do not get enough of their teachers’ atten- particular venues but not necessarily all the time. tion. Gifted children may be seen as having behav- According to Renzulli, three characteristics must be observed for a child to be considered gifted: above-average ability, creativity, and task commit- ment. Like Marland’s definition, Renzulli’s con-

School-Ager Issues 77 cept is broad and identifies more children than children. Students who need challenges are given when a single measurement of intelligence on a alternative assignments, not just additional work. standardized IQ test is used. Concerned that gifted had become an elitist term, the U.S. Department In order to individualize instruction, teachers of Education (Ross, 1993) refined its criteria to take preassess children before beginning any unit of into account children who exhibit a talent at a study and also measure development along the higher level than those of their peers. It implied way. This knowledge of students’ abilities influ- that there was a continuum of talent, and therefore ences the content, level, and pace of the lessons. even more children were entitled to gifted educa- Traditionally, assessment takes place at the end of tion services. Depending on the definition, gifted a period of learning to determine what informa- and talented students constitute 10% to 25% of the tion students have memorized or internalized; a population (Clark, 2002). grade is given, and the class moves on to the next topic. Ongoing assessment is not used for the pur- While individuals express their exceptionality pose of grading but instead to clarify the students’ in a variety of ways, the following characteristics needs. Assessment need not be in the form of an are commonly seen in a child considered a gifted exam. Teachers can gauge students’ progress learner: through oral questioning and discussions, reflec- tive writing pieces, and even homework. Some • Asks questions teachers use “exit cards” (Tomlinson, 1999) at the • Is highly curious end of each class as a quick evaluation. Students • Is intellectually engaged are given one short problem to solve that reflects • Has original ideas the skills or concepts covered that day. • Performs with ease • May need less time to excel In differentiated classrooms, educators tier their • Responds with detail and unique perspectives lessons and teach in small groups, at three differ- • Manipulates information ent levels (Tomlinson, 2003). Groups are flexible so • Creates new and original products that they are not always homogeneous. Students • Is beyond her or his age peers may be grouped by interest and by learning style, • Needs 1 to 2 repetitions for mastery randomly or intentionally balanced with individual • Constructs abstractions strengths and weaknesses. Curriculum compacting • Draws inferences (Heacox, 2002) is sometimes used in classes to • Initiates projects allow children who have already mastered the • Is an innovator skills and concepts in a given unit to engage in al- • Is insightful; makes connections with ease ternative work. Children who demonstrate compe- • Is intense tence in a given subject through preassessment • Shows strong feelings, opinions, perspectives undertake higher-level work, sometimes through • Thrives on complexity guided, independent studies, and interest-based in- • Is highly self-critical (Heacox, 2002, p. 136) vestigations. Compacting eliminates unnecessary repetition for children. Meeting the Needs of the Gifted When James’s struggles in school are explored, Educational methods for gifted and talented stu- it becomes clear that he needs support in both the dents run the gamut from once-a-week pull-outs to social and academic realms. His behavior with both full-time tracking. Currently, many experts in the peers and adults may very well stem from boredom field advocate for differentiation of instruction (Ben- in the classroom, but challenging work will not sim- jamin, 2003; Gregory & Chapman, 2002; Heacox, ply make him socially adept. James’s teacher must 2002; Tomlinson, 1999, 2001, 2003). Differentiated provide him with stimulating learning experiences instruction is an ideal strategy for classes that are and at the same time direct his interactions posi- heterogeneously grouped; that is, placing children tively. Including James’s parents in this process is of differing abilities together. Differentiation in- critical, as they can provide insight about how James volves making modifications not only for children feels and also support the efforts of the teacher. with learning disabilities but also for the brightest There are several ways that James’s teacher can challenge him and other children with above-

78 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom average ability. Teaching tiered lessons in small tions on basic material, he could be given higher- groups would enable her to match the curriculum level reading or assigned research comparing the to different ability levels. As previously stated, it muscular/skeletal systems of humans and apes. is best to also regularly group students heteroge- The assignment would be graded according to a neously to avoid tracking or labeling within the rubric with which James was familiar. The rubric class. Teachers can modify readings, assignments, shown in Figure 6.4 was created for James to clarify and assessment with relative ease. For example, expectations about a research report. if the class was studying the human muscular/ skeletal system in science, and James was already Assuming that math was an area of strength for an expert, instead of reading and answering ques- James, he would be given more complex problems applying the same skills the class was learning. If Figure 6.4. Research Report Rubric CATEGORY 4 3 2 1 Organization Information is organized Information is organized Information is The information appears with well-constructed with well-constructed organized, but to be disorganized. paragraphs and paragraphs. paragraphs are not well subheadings. constructed. Amount of All topics are addressed All topics are addressed All topics are addressed, One or more topics were Information and all questions and most questions and most questions not addressed. answered with at least answered with at least answered with one two sentences about each. two sentences about each. sentence about each. Quality of Information Information clearly Information clearly Information clearly Information has little or relates to the main topic. relates to the main topic. relates to the main topic. nothing to do with the It includes several It provides one to two No details and/or main topic. supporting details and/or supporting details and/or examples are given. examples. examples. Sources All sources (information All sources (information All sources (information Some sources are not and graphics) are and graphics) are and graphics) are accurately documented. accurately documented accurately documented, documented, but many in the desired format. but a few are not in the are not in the desired desired format. format. Mechanics No grammatical, Almost no grammatical, A few grammatical, Many grammatical, spelling, or punctuation spelling, or punctuation errors. spelling, or punctuation spelling, or punctuation errors. errors. errors. Notes Notes are recorded and Notes are recorded Notes are recorded. Notes are recorded only organized in an extremely legibly and are with peer/teacher neat and orderly fashion. somewhat organized. assistance and reminders. First Draft Detailed draft is neatly Draft includes all Draft includes most Draft is missing required presented and includes required information and required information and information and is all required information. is legible. is legible. difficult to read. Paragraph All paragraphs include Most paragraphs include Paragraphs include Paragraphing structure is Construction introductory sentence, introductory sentence, related information but not clear and sentences explanations or details, explanations or details, are typically not are not typically related and concluding sentence. and concluding sentence. constructed well. within the paragraphs. Graphic Organizer Graphic organizer or Graphic organizer or Graphic organizer or Graphic organizer or outline has been outline has been outline has been started outline has not been completed and shows completed and shows and includes some attempted. clear, logical relationships some logical relationships topics and subtopics. between subtopics. between subtopics.

School-Ager Issues 79 students were first learning about decimals, James Figure 6.5. The American Revolution Learning Center could be asked to make a chart listing equivalent fractions, decimals, and percentages. Note that Colonial America James is given alternative class work, rather than Go to www.scholastic.com/profbooks/netexplorations/index.htm more material on the same level. Children who are for the following activities: gifted do not necessarily want to do more than the rest of the class. Activity A Define the words bayonet, cavalry, duty, loyalist, militia, minutemen, parliament, patriot Assessing James before and during units of study will direct his teacher’s instructional goals. Activity B Interpret the meaning of the song “Yankee If she senses that James is fairly competent on a Doodle.” particular topic, she can give him the end of the unit exam ahead of time. This allows her to ascer- Activity C Choose three famous quotes from the Web site tain any relative weakness and then focus on de- and explain why they are significant. Then write your veloping that knowledge or concept. James could own quote. possible ace an exam, which would indicate that he is ready to explore a related topic or the same Important Documents one in more depth. Activity A What is a treaty? What purpose do you think a treaty serves? Name four to six facts regarding the Another means of differentiating the curricu- Treaty of Paris. lum in James’s class is through learning centers. The term learning center is sometimes used to de- Activity B Bill of Rights crossword puzzle. scribe an area within the classroom. For example, the class library may be called a reading center. Activity C Rewrite an article of the U.S. Constitution in Manipulatives are kept in the math center, while plain language microscopes and magnifying glasses are found in the science center. However, learning centers are People of the Revolution actually evolving activities related to a current Activity A When was Paul Revere’s ride? What was the theme, not just objects. Teachers create hands-on purpose of his ride? Which towns did he pass through? opportunities to reinforce skills, explore concepts, How did Revere’s ride end? and apply classroom learning to real-life prob- lems. Students work independently or in small Activity B Choose three of the following women and groups. Most important, centers include tasks at describe their role in the American Revolution: Deborah different levels. These tiered assignments can be Samson, Margaret Corbin, Molly Hays McCauley, Anne sequential, meaning students must complete Bailey, Nancy Morgan Hart. Activity A before going on to Activity B. Children who are cognitively advanced, like James, might Activity C Describe the leadership qualities of George be directed to begin with Activity C. Learning- Washington. How did his prior work prepare him for the center activities are typically enjoyable and serve presidency? How would you compare his leadership to to motivate all the children in the class. The learn- that of our current president? ing center shown in Figure 6.5, which focused on the American Revolution, was developed in Providing challenges that match James’s capa- James’s class. bilities is essential, but it is only part of the inter- vention. James also needs help in recognizing how Although James’s school does not have a sepa- his behavior is perceived and how it relates to his rate gifted program, teachers and administrators conflicts with peers. His teacher, an administrator, can initiate lunchtime enrichment clubs. Clubs are or psychologist could spend some time with James open to all students, and because they are self- discussing observed interactions, his feelings, and selective, they will appeal only to those students those of his peers. These one-on-one sessions may who desire additional challenge. Teachers volun- be enough to motivate James to be more sensitive teer or are paid a stipend to facilitate learning to others. It is possible that James was just look- groups on topics such as Debating for Democracy, ing for attention. However, it is also possible that Brain Boosters (Barlow, 1997), Fun with Tangrams, James’s troubles are more complex, and his par- Baseball Math, and Inventions and Innovations. ents’ involvement would be necessary. When James’s parents express their belief that he only has difficulties because he is bored, James’s teacher would share her concern that this message to their son may be unintentionally fueling the problem.

80 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom James may have come to the conclusion that his to get what I want? Am I happy with how I be- boredom is justification for his behavior. Helping have? What can I do differently? Being reflective James to be reflective and take responsibility is a is not easy for children or adults. However, it is a key step in improving his social interactions. The stepping-stone toward accountability. This is the concept of emotional intelligence (Goleman, 1995) ultimate goal: for children to see themselves in would be shared with James and his parents to control of their own behavior. To guide them to- help them understand the importance of getting ward that goal, we recommend that teachers do along with others. Goleman suggests that success the following: in life is not determined by IQ but by one’s ability to work cooperatively with others. • Support parents’ efforts to create a conducive homework environment CONCLUSION • Look for the positives in all children Developmental discipline can help children • Be cognizant of signs of anxiety and depres- improve their emotional intelligence by encourag- ing them to look inside themselves and ask some sion in children key questions: What is working and what is not • Model respect, acceptance, and appreciation working? What do I want? What do I have to do of diverse cultures • Recognize one’s own biases • Differentiate the curriculum to meet the needs of all students and all learning styles

7CHAPTER Commonly Used Disciplinary Practices: How Effective Are They? Mr. Franco is teaching a math lesson these commonly used strategies do not specifi- to his sixth-grade class. Several stu- cally address the problem and therefore do not dents are not paying attention, are have a lasting impact. Moreover, teachers may in- disruptive, and are in and out of their advertently hurt children with their words, tone, seats. Mr. Franco announces that this or actions. is the worst class he has ever had, and they will never make it to algebra. Mr. Franco has a unique style of interacting with When Austin gets up to get a tissue, his students. He has high expectations for his stu- he taps on every one’s desk as he dents’ performance and little tolerance for mis- passes by. Mr. Franco tells Austin that behavior. He has been known to reduce children he is very annoying and to stop being to tears when they forget their homework or are the class clown. The other students not paying attention. He will rebuke and even laugh at this exchange. Mr. Franco embarrass them publicly. Yet many students find notices a note being passed from Kayla Mr. Franco personable and entertaining because to Danny. He grabs the note from he has a sarcastic wit that can stimulate the group Danny and proceeds to read it aloud. process. His sense of humor can be quite so- phisticated, and as sixth graders, they appreciate TEACHER INTERVENTIONS being treated less as children and more as adults. It is not always clear to students how far they can Teachers may have the best of intentions when go with their own humor and teasing. they attempt to manage students’ behavior, but their disciplinary strategies do not always work Students who have a particularly difficult time well. At times, they may “shoot from the hip” to in Mr. Franco’s class are those who struggle aca- curtail negative behavior without being cognizant demically or are particularly sensitive. Being called of the possible ramifications. Other times, they rely on by any teacher can be scary. However, antici- on previously used methods, such as taking away pating that Mr. Franco might make a derogatory recess, sending a child out of the classroom, or comment is terrifying to some. For children who coercing apologies. Educators may even resort to are impulsive and lack self-control, Mr. Franco’s sarcasm or humor to win students over so that the class is a constant struggle. A student such as latter follow directions. We propose, however, that Austin who may have an excess amount of en- ergy, or purposefully calls attention to himself may have trouble adhering to Mr. Franco’s stan- dards. After all, Mr. Franco’s primary focus is on 81

82 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom math and not on teaching children to behave. When ing the impact of these measures on the overall instructing students, particularly in this emotion- social environment. Assigning extra seatwork or ally vulnerable age group, one needs to consider homework, removal of a much-needed break or how physical growth and hormonal changes influ- privilege are examples of such measures. After all, ence learning. Pubescence is a period characterized teachers need to respond immediately. However, by monumental physiological and psychological this process should ideally include observation, changes, which create uncertainty and anxiety in reflection, and weighing the variables. Part of this the developing adolescent. Brain-based research procedure involves anticipating how students has demonstrated differences between boys and might respond to the discipline. Will my words girls in learning during the preadolescent years. and actions hurt a child or instead motivate him or Boys get bored more easily than girls and tend to her to do the right thing? Students will generally act out in ways that are disruptive (Gurian & behave better and learn more successfully when Henley, 2001). They need more physical space and they feel respected and that it is safe to make mis- must move around more to harness their impulsiv- takes, both academically and socially. Interventions ity. Just trying to stay in their seat for an extended can shape behavior without shame. For example, a period of time is a challenge. Boys tend to be louder firm hand on Austin’s shoulder to quietly guide him and more prone to attention-seeking behavior, re- back to his seat or a private conference with Kayla sulting in more teacher focus. Both girls and boys after class might be the most effective and least experiencing cognitive and physical changes may punitive way of communicating the desired behav- choose different behaviors to mask the uncertainty ior. Providing some clear, specific guidelines of of feelings that are out of control; children may what is acceptable behavior might also be helpful dumb themselves down, not raise their hands, or here as growing youngsters test their new social use bravado and humor and overly dominate dis- skills. Acknowledging, accepting, and working cussions to prove themselves. According to Gurian developmentally with this energetic age group in- and Henley, during this turbulent period of de- cludes building in stretch breaks; tension-release velopment, sexual feelings and psychosocial ma- activities both in and out of the classroom; increased neuvering for position in the group are more small-group work; and responding with patience, operative than actual learning. Given the behav- consistency, and firmness. ioral challenges that Mr. Franco has experienced in his classroom, it is extremely likely that his stu- Mr. Franco may not be even be aware of how dents may be struggling with these developmen- his demeanor may be affecting his students. Yet tal issues. Other possible causes of misbehavior in certain students have complained to their parents Mr. Franco’s classroom are overly complex con- about their treatment, and Mr. Franco’s teaching tent, inconsistent messages regarding behavioral style has been brought to the attention of the ad- expectations, and middle school work overload. ministration. However, his longevity within the school, exceptional content knowledge, and Humiliation unique reputation among his colleagues has shielded Mr. Franco from professional censure. Regardless of the cause of misbehavior, humili- Teacher Supervision ating students has absolutely no place in the class- room. While sharing Kayla’s note with the entire Formal observation of teachers by administra- class may result in fewer notes being passed tors, mentors, or supervisors must be a part of around, the pain of exposure to one’s peers can be ongoing professional development. Whether a tremendous, especially when children are trying teacher is a novice or has years of experience, peda- so desperately to fit in. The ensuing laughter from gogical skills and teaching style need to be re- classmates is another indicator of the tenor of this viewed, modified, and updated. This is no easy classroom: Children may be nervous that they will task given the extensive responsibilities and time be picked on next, and joining the group, even in constraints of administrators. Effective administra- cruelty, provides some degree of safety and ano- tors prioritize supervision and recognize that pro- nymity. Teachers sometimes employ strategies to viding ongoing feedback and support are essential extinguish negative behaviors, without consider- for successful schools.

Commonly Used Disciplinary Practices: How Effective Are They? 83 The form for Observation of Teacher’s Disci- sode in time-out is sufficient to extinguish the plinary Practice (see Appendix G) was developed negative behavior. In most cases, however, teach- to assist administrators, supervisors, mentors, and ers resort to the repeated use of this strategy, which coaches in documenting their observations of can reduce its power. Also contributing to time- teachers in the classroom. It looks at the overall out’s ineffectiveness is that children are left for classroom social-emotional environment, teacher’s extended periods. When unattended, children tone, relationships with children, and strategies often forget why they were sent away in the first employed to modify behavior. This form may be place. Boredom or the desire to seek attention may used several times over the course of the year to then compel children to get into additional trouble. measure growth and to construct goals and objec- Materials may be torn off bulletin boards or books tives in a personalized professional-development randomly pulled from shelves for entertainment. plan. The form can be used in conjunction with These behaviors may then continue to disturb the anecdotes and the Teacher’s Self-Reflection Inven- ongoing group, as attention is called outside of the tory (refer to Appendix D). lesson. Time-out is also ineffective when a child feels rejected by the teacher. Teachers must be care- TIME-OUT ful to observe the child’s reactions to be certain that time-out is not hurtful, embarrassing, or perceived Andy is a high-energy 5-year-old who as a punishment. Gartrell (2001, 2002) asserts that has trouble sitting still in his kindergar- time-out only serves to shame and confuse chil- ten class. Typically, he interrupts dren, rather than offer problem-solving skills that group lessons by poking classmates, will benefit them in the long run. Time-out only calling out without raising his hand, works when a child is removed from the lesson and getting up from his seat or spot or activity in which he or she was disruptive. on the rug. Andy complies when his When used for unrelated causes, such as tardi- teacher asks him to sit down quietly ness or incomplete homework, children do not but continues to be restless. He is make a connection between their behavior and the frequently sent to the “time-out chair,” consequence. although it seems to have no impact on his behavior. Andy’s behavior is not atypical for a kinder- gartener. For children of this age, sitting quietly Time-out is a practice that has been the tradi- over an extended period is just too much to ask. tional “go-to strategy” when negative behavior Andy is apparently an active child who is not yet persists. Simply defined, it involves removing a developmentally ready to stay still, and circle time child from a conflict situation. Children are invited can be a nightmare for him. It is unclear what back when a particular time interval has passed or Andy is learning by being sent out of the circle. the teacher believes that the child will not resume Putting him in the time-out chair clearly has no the behavior. Variations range from putting the enduring impact on his behavior because he can- child in a specific quiet area or “thinking chair,” not physically do what is expected of him. having the child sit on the periphery of the group, or sending him or her to a corner or hallway. Time Teacher’s Role limits also vary, with one rule of thumb being one minute per age of child. In upper elementary and Missing from the preceding scenario is the es- middle school, the method may no longer be re- sential component of the teacher’s role. When Andy ferred to as time-out, but children are nevertheless is given time-out, he is all alone. He may be think- separated from their peers and activities. It is more ing about his after-school soccer lesson or his new likely that they will be spending time alone in the video game and not the behavior that precipitated hallway. his removal. His teacher should speak to Andy to reinforce the desired behavior. Her presence will Teachers use time-out for a variety of reasons: affirm that he is not being ostracized from the group disruptive behavior, inappropriate interactions, and, primarily, that he is supported and not re- and even calling out. For some children, one epi- jected by her. By speaking with Andy, she will be available to assess if he has mastered or regained

84 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom control and is ready to return to the lesson. Andy • Before time-out is over, ask children to reflect would then be welcomed back calmly and his par- on their actions and indicate that they are ticipation within the group resumed. When there ready to return to the activity. is only one teacher in the classroom, it is not always possible to accompany children to time-out and • Suspend the use of time-out if there is no discuss why they are there. However, teachers who change in the child’s behavior. choose to use time-out must find a way to converse with those children to evaluate how they are cop- BULLIES AND BULLYING ing and if they are learning. If teachers are unable to promptly speak individually with children in Lauren is miserable in third grade time-out, they can remind them that they will do because one of her classmates tor- so as soon as possible. Some teachers use a “buddy ments her relentlessly. Michelle makes teacher” system whereby teachers from other class- fun of Lauren’s hair, her clothes, and rooms are on call for one another (Yang & Charney, the way she talks. Lauren’s best friend 2005). As needed, a neighboring teacher will lend a is not in her class this year, and com- hand by taking an especially disruptive child into panions from previous years are no her classroom. longer friendly to her. Michelle warns the other girls to stay away from Strategies for Effective Time-Out Lauren or they will catch “Lauren germs.” She declares that anyone who The following suggestions are aimed at im- is nice to Lauren is a nerd and is not proving the effectiveness of time-out interven- her friend. Lauren’s parents have tions. Reflecting on how and when time-out is discussed the problem with Ms. Floyd, used, as well as its frequency, will increase the like- her teacher, and with the administra- lihood of its success. Teachers should consider the tion. Despite being repeatedly sent to suggestions before implementing time-out in their the principal’s office, Michelle’s hurtful classrooms. behavior persists. • Clarify rules, limits, and acceptable behavior Teasing is common behavior in childhood and to children on an ongoing basis. does not always have malicious intent. With some groups of friends, insults are often a typical way • Explain that time-out is a consequence of of addressing others as well as a means of express- inappropriate behavior. ing humor. These children consider name-calling, using words such as “idiot,” “gay,” “ugly,” and • Remind children of the rules when they mis- “bitch,” to be just fooling around. When both mem- behave or act out. bers of a dyad or all the members of a group are accustomed to such vernacular, potentially hurtful • Give 1–2 warnings (at most) that if the behav- words can be innocuous. At times, however, the ior persists, a time-out will be implemented. teasing goes too far or a child can be especially sen- sitive. In these situations, the painful feelings are • Remove children from the activity or inter- generally short lived, and the friends soon resume action, and have them sit down for a brief their playful verbal discourse. Because mild forms period. of teasing are omnipresent in childhood culture, most children are fairly resilient (Thompson & • Determine the length of time-out based on Grace, 2001). They accept the banter as a necessary children’s age, temperament, and reactions. by-product of being accepted within a social network. • Sit down with children to enforce the proce- dure. In some cases, children are not cognizant of the power of their words. They may come from fami- • Do not ignore children during time-out; re- lies where saying “I hate you” or “You’re stupid” mind them of their misbehavior and its consequences. • Whenever possible, keep children in the en- vironment where the incident occurred to help them remember the event that led to time-out.

Commonly Used Disciplinary Practices: How Effective Are They? 85 is perfectly normal, and they are unaware that in behavior. Michelle promises not to do it again and other families such expressions are said to be in- is promptly sent back to class. appropriate and are prohibited. A child who is raised without exposure to negative words and The School’s Response phrases may be startled when confronted by them with peers. Teasing can also be damaging when it It is obvious that the discipline imposed by the occurs between children who are not friends or school has not effected the necessary change. Too expressed in a manner that conveys mockery. often, educators and parents rely on a limited set of disciplinary responses regardless of the behav- When teasing occurs on a regular basis and is ior or its effectiveness. Repeated use of an unsuc- directed exclusively to one child, the behavior takes cessful strategy is problematic not only because it on a more significant meaning and is considered does not achieve the desired outcome, but also bullying. Bullying is defined as physical, emotional, because it sends a message that rules can be bro- or verbal abuse by one or more students intended ken. Michelle realizes that she can get away with to intimidate and torment a particular child being mean to Lauren. She never really gets pun- (Giannetti & Sagarese, 2001). In most situations, the ished, and going to Mrs. Alexander’s office is no victim has done nothing overt to instigate the nega- big deal to her. In fact, going to the principal’s of- tive attention. The child may stand out because he fice on a regular basis has made Michelle a bit of a or she looks different or acts unlike his or her peers celebrity. Michelle seems to have the upper hand. or is from a particular racial, ethnic, or socioeco- The other students recognize that Michelle is al- nomic minority group. Bullying is not a new prob- lowed to threaten, lie, and hurt Lauren’s feelings. lem, but it appears to be increasing, as 5 million They simultaneously resent Michelle’s influence elementary and middle school students in the on the class and admire her courage to be defiant. United States are affected (Giannetti & Sagarese, These classmates are also wary that opposing 2001). According to the National Association of Michelle would result in their being targeted as School Psychologists, one in seven schoolchildren well. Preserving the status quo, or maintaining is a bully or victim. safety in numbers becomes the coping mechanism for social survival in this classroom. As for Lauren, Bullying by girls may be even more insidious her teachers have failed to protect her from than that by boys, because unlike boys, girls tend Michelle. It may seem to Lauren that Michelle is to harass within a tight network of friends, favored, because Lauren’s calls for help are not making their damage to victims more intense taken seriously. and harder to identify (Simmons, 2002). Girls often use backstabbing, exclusion, rumors, name- Eliminating Michelle’s dominance over Lauren calling, and manipulation to inflict psychological will take considerable effort. Intervention must pain. “Within the hidden culture of aggression, concentrate on Michelle, Lauren, and the other girls fight with body language and relationships students in the class. Why do children bully? Can instead of fists and knives” (p. 3). Their bullying the bullying be prevented? What can schools do is generally more cruel and more destructive, to stop a child once it has started? In order to pin- with the after effects often felt for years. point the issues contributing to Michelle’s behav- ior, one must take into account the characteristics Michelle’s actions toward Lauren can be quali- of many bullies: innate tendency toward aggres- fied as bullying because her taunts are purpose- sion, larger physical size, lack of ego strength, and ful and ongoing. Lauren’s show of distress not limited ability to experience guilt (Langan, 2002; only did not end Michelle’s ridicule; it perhaps Thompson & Grace, 2001). Environmental influ- fueled it. Even “getting into trouble” did not stop ences are also factors: exposure to violent televi- Michelle. She has become a revered and power- sion, movies, and video games; direct contact with ful figure in the classroom. Ms. Floyd, who has violent or abusive family members; and adults’ been unable to get through to Michelle, copes lack of responsiveness to verbal and physical ag- with the problem largely by ignoring it, unless gression. In schools where students are not held Lauren’s outcry disrupts the class. When that accountable for their behavior and there is an occurs, Michelle is sent to the principal’s office, where Mrs. Alexander talks to Michelle about her

86 Guiding Children’s Behavior: Developmental Discipline in the Classroom absence of a social skills curriculum, bullying is escorted to the bathroom until the problem sub- more pervasive (Langan, 2002). While the experi- sided. Lauren needs to hear from her teachers that ences mentioned above do not cause children to she is not to blame for the trouble she is experienc- be bullies, they are correlating features. ing and that she is a valued presence in the class- room. She would be encouraged to express her Exploring Michelle’s background and what led feelings regarding the situation, which may in- her to be malicious toward Lauren must include clude anger at her teachers, fear, shame, and de- the input of her parents. They can inform the fac- pression. At the same time, Lauren could benefit ulty about Michelle’s prior experiences in social from learning social skills that would empower her settings involving bullying or being bullied. In to protect herself. Role-playing possible responses addition, Michelle’s parents can share Michelle’s to a bully can help Lauren to be more assertive. She vulnerabilities; her worries, struggles, and failures. can be taught to ignore Michelle, laugh along with Supporting Michelle’s areas of weakness is an her, and develop comeback lines such as “Don’t important step in improving her behavior. Help- you have something more intelligent to say?” or ing Lauren requires helping Michelle as well. See- “Are you still talking? I stopped listening,” or ing Michelle as a troubled child, rather than as bad “You’re just being mean and nasty, and I’m not or evil, will facilitate the process and is particularly going to let you bother me.” Lauren might also be important when communicating with her parents. asked to sympathize with Michelle by explaining Michelle’s parents must know that her teachers that bullies are often insecure and lonely (Langan, care about her and are optimistic about her future. 2002). She should also be helped to see that the Additionally, the faculty must be careful not to other children in the classroom do not dislike her convey that are blaming Michelle’s parents for her but are probably just afraid of Michelle too. difficulties. As with any delicate issue, meetings Playdates and joining a school club or sports team with Michelle’s parents necessitate planning and are other avenues for integrating Lauren back into sensitivity. The initial focus would be on sharing the social community. Since Lauren’s emotional observations, setting incremental goals, and brain- well-being is a priority, consideration may need to storming strategies. Depending on what is discov- be given to moving Lauren (or Michelle) to another ered about Michelle, recommendations would be class. made for specialized attention at home, additional supervision at school, social skills training, psy- Bystanders and Followers chotherapy, a behavior management plan with concrete rewards and consequences, or a combi- While the faculty focuses on supporting Lauren nation of these. and curtailing Michelle’s actions, they must simul- taneously address the feelings and behaviors of the Creating a safe environment for Lauren is criti- other children in the class. The school’s response cal. Up until now, she has not been adequately must be both reactive to the current situation and protected from Michelle or the other children in preventative in nature to minimize the likelihood the class. Repeated episodes of bullying can leave of future occurrences. Everyone in the entire class- scars, literally and figuratively. Ongoing bullying room has been affected by Michelle’s powerful strips a child of self-esteem, confidence in author- role, either directly or indirectly. Classmates see ity, and commitment to school. Girls who are bul- Michelle in charge and the adults unwilling or lied in their teens are more likely to avoid unable to stop her. Peer pressure is an imposing leadership roles and competition and are at risk force (Harris, 1998), and even more so when ac- for becoming battered women (Simmons, 2002). companied by manipulation and intimidation. Lauren must know that there are structures in Eliminating Michelle’s access to Lauren is the first place within the school environment to prevent step in reestablishing authority and instilling a others from hurting her. This may involve restric- sense of order and security within the classroom. tions placed on Michelle and any other children Once students understand that mistreatment of involved. For example, if Michelle were behav- classmates is not tolerated, they can be taught to ing unkindly to Lauren in the cubby area, then stand up to bullies and others who attempt to ex- Michelle would not be permitted to go there when ert negative influence on them. In the context of other children were present. If the abuse took place in the bathroom, those responsible would be

Commonly Used Disciplinary Practices: How Effective Are They? 87 small-group discussions conducted by the teacher, bully other students, (2) we will help others who administrator, or mental health professional, stu- are being bullied by speaking out and by getting dents learn that bullies are only effective when adult help; and (3) we will use extra effort to in- there is an audience of followers and bystanders clude all students in activities at our school. The who do not help the victim. Without this audience, program involves student instruction, staff train- bullies are impotent. The following suggestions ing, victim support, intervention with bullies, can be shared with students to help them when and working with parents. Peace Builders confronted with bullying: (peacebuilders.com) is a community-based vio- lence prevention program that teaches basic 1. Refuse to join in. rules: praise others, avoid put-downs, seek out 2. Walk away when bullies are acting up. wise people as advisors and friends, notice when 3. Distract the bully so he or she stops the bullying others have been hurt, and right wrongs (Thomp- son & Grace, 2001). Teachers who work in schools behavior. that have used Peace Builders for 2 years note a sig- 4. Report any bullying you see. nificant improvement in students’ social com- 5. Speak out. petence and more positive behavior patterns. 6. Stand beside the bully’s target. Regardless of whether schools and districts de- 7. Work with others to reduce bullying (Langan, velop their own antibullying curricula and policies or adopt an existing program, educators must be 2002, pp. 41–43). proactive when managing bullying. Role-playing various scenarios will develop CLASS DISRUPTIONS students’ communications skills and heighten their empathy and sensitivity toward others. It Winter vacation is soon approaching, may also unveil a plethora of feelings that have and 10-year-old Miguel is having an been bottled up by the students, including frus- increasingly difficult time concentrating tration, helplessness, and guilt. Validating stu- in school. He is more talkative and dents’ experiences will promote their willingness active than usual, especially when he is to discuss future interpersonal conflicts. expected to sit still. During Ms. Ryan’s geography lesson, Miguel is cracking Teachers and administrators should carefully jokes and making funny faces, causing observe their students, especially in undersuper- his classmates to laugh out loud. vised locations such as the bathroom, cubbies, Ms. Ryan has warned Miguel several closets, playgrounds, and stairwells. Any reported times to be quiet and pay attention, but incidences of bullying must be promptly ad- his attentiveness is short-lived. After dressed. An Assessment of Bullying in the Class- Miguel’s poking Marti, tickling Max, and room/School inventory (see Appendix H) can taking Sam’s pencil, Ms. Ryan an- assist educators in evaluating the prevalence of nounces that the class will lose recess bullying in their settings. It helps the observer re- because of Miguel’s disruptions. Sev- call bullying behaviors and the frequency of such eral students complain that they occurrences. weren’t doing anything wrong and that it’s not fair for everyone to be pun- Many schools implement formal antibullying ished. Ms. Ryan suggests that the programs to provide their teachers with a concrete class discuss it with Miguel. They means of addressing this multifaceted problem. proceed to yell at Miguel. The Bully Prevention Program was selected by the Center for the Study of Prevention of Violence at Teachers often find themselves competing for the University of Colorado (cited in Giannetti & students’ attention. Impending school breaks, first Sagarese, 2001) and considered to be highly effec- snowfalls, and Halloween parties, for example, tive. The program includes anonymous student can make schoolwork more arduous. For some questionnaires, teacher observations, class discus- sions of bullying and empathy, and school confer- ence days to integrate strategies and development skills. Another example is the Bullyproofing Your School curriculum (Short-Camilli, 1994), which emphasizes a three-tiered platform: (1) We will not