Encyclopedia Of Unusual Sex Practices

HOT WAX 135 HYBRISTOPHILIA accidents or simply to alternate the sensa- used with humiliation just as one uses it tions. Areas with dense body hair are with flagellation or bondage. avoided unless depilation is desired. Humiliation is more effective for some (See also ALGOPHILIA, BODY PAINTING, when they are bound or being forced to do CIGAR S, ELECTRIC SHOCK, ICE, something menial or embarrassing. It may MASOCHISM, PYROPHILIA, SAFE SEX, also take a physical form that involves the SCRATCHING and SENSORY ENHANCE- use of urine, feces, or shaving. CAUTION: MENT) P eople have personal limits they don 't want violated. A sample contract may state, \"You HUMILIATION (Asthenolagnia- can call me anything you want, but don't aroused by weakness or humility) Verbal say anything about my mother, the size of humiliation in sex play produces passion for my penis, or my tattoo.\" T here may be sub- some. jects from one's childhood tha t ar e too painful to address, while others use humilia- Humiliation has long been a popular tion to reprogram negative experiences into form of discipline for governments and reli- a satisfying erotic one. A general guideline gions. It was used as a form of abuse by the used in humiliation is that of n ot us ing Visitantines, a Catholic order of nuns insults that one will later have trouble formed by Francoise Fremoit de Chantal to denying. For instance, a person wou ld never replace chastisement with birches.The Rev. call an obese partner a \"pathetic fat-assed William M. Cooper, B.A. , in A His tory of the pig.\" Rod (p. 81), states: Humiliation is like bondage play in that Novices were obliged to wear a fool's cap, after the game the partner has to be immense spectacles, or LO Lie heavy pieces of released . In humiliation this is accomplished wood on themselves, or be laden with stones by spending time nurturing and reassuring and blocks like an ass. If a novice lay too long the partner of their value and attributes. in bed, she had, as a punishment to carry a This part of the game is essential, and not taken lightly. pillow into the refectory; and if a similar fault (Refer also to COPROPHILIA, DEFILE- was cormniaed a second Lime, she was obliged MENT, DEPILATION, DOMINANCE/SUBMIS- to extend herself on the ground, and say lo the SION, INTERROGATION, SLAVES, TOILET nuns, 'Dear sisters, have pity on me, that I am TRAINING, UROPHILIA and WORSHIP/GOD- so lazy.' On a third offence, the delinquent was DESS) treated like a little child, wrapped in swaddling clothes, and fed with pap, and only as a last HYBRISTOPHILIA H ybristophilia is resource would the Mo ther Superior give a defined by John Money as \"a paraphilia of good birching. Some of the nuns thought the the marauding/predatory type in which sex- rules too mild, and left the community for a uoerotic arousal and facilitation and attain- more rigid order. ment of orgasm are respons ive to, and dependent upon, being with a partner Humiliation was also used by the Scottish known to have committed an outrage or Puritans who som etimes placed the sinner crime, such as rape, murder, or armed rob- in an iron collar and fastened them to the bery [from Greek, hybridzein , to commit an wall in front of the congregation to be outrage against someone + -philia] . T he harangu ed for half an hour every Sunday, partner m ay have served a prison sentence sometimes for up to a year. as a co nvicted criminal, or may be instigated by the hybristophile to commit a crime and Today humiliation is used in almost any so be convicted and sent to prison\" form of sex play, but is consensual and (LOVEMAPS, pp. 263-4). Dr. Money used something a partner can transfer to a sexu al Bon nie and Clyde and Charles Manson's response. There are p eople who do n ot \"Family\" as examples of th is phe- become sexuall y aroused this way, and nomenon.Men living in prison often have others who enj oy insults when they are feeling well psychologically, but not when they are depressed. Therefore, a safeword is

HYBRISTO P HI LIA 136 HYP N OSIS ongoing relationships with three or four find it in articles of clothing, or to simply women. T hese men offer excitement, mys- smell the odors or pheromones these pro- ter y, and intrigue to wom en who usually duce. have low self esteem, or a fear of physical intimacy. Masters and L ea wrote of a noto- H ygrophilia is not limited to the secre- rious mass murderer named Vacher whose tions of their partners; some have engaged trial wa s attended by a large number of animals or deceased humans for this pur- women, some of high social standing, who pose. were obviously aroused by the murderer. (See also COCKTAILS, CUM ET IQUETT E, Sarne male criminals are attractive, but that KLISMAPHlLIA, LACTlPHILIA, SAFE SEX and does not explain the phenomenon. Certainly, TOILET TRAINING) Vacher was not a man al whom women would look twice-unless in revulsion-were he not HYPHEPHILIA Hyph ephilia (hyphe: glamorized or somehow charged with eroticism web, and philia: attachment to) refers to by his crimes. Philip Lindsay (The M ainspring those who are aroused by touching fabrics of Murde1) describes hirn as having a pallid or other garments. countenance, splotched with yellow. Hair strag- gled down his cheeks, black and matted. He (Refer to DORAPHILIA, FETISH, FROT - had a harelip, adding also a speech defect to his TAGE, OCHLOPHlLIA and TOUCH) debilities. And still additionally, as a result ofa gunshot wound sustained in a suicide attempt, HYPNOSIS H ypnosis is a trance-like state his right eye was damaged and suppurating; that resembles sleep wherein the person is while the right side of his face was semi-para- susceptible to suggestion by the hypnotist. lyzed, the consequence of the severing ofa nerve There are several degrees of hypnotic states: (Perverse Crimes in History, pp. 165-6). the lethargic state that resembles a coma, the major state wherein one is obliviou s of all Women would often p ass suggestive notes outside stimuli except the hypnotist's sug- to the defendant, flirt, and at times create gestions, and last the minor state wherein the such a disturbance that they were asked to person obeys suggestions to a lesser degree. leave the courtroom . T here are historical records of cases Prisoners benefit from these liaisons by where hypnotists were able to use hypnotic conning the women into smuggling drugs, sugges tions to fac ilitate intercourse . cash, and cigarettes into the prison. Visiting Hirschfeld was consulted during a trial h ours are usua ll y spent fond ling eac h where an impotent husband filed sexual woman. It is possib le for relationships to assault charges against his wife's physician. evolve into marriage but most of them end T he doctor confessed that he ordered her to if the prisoner is released (Prisoners of Love, \"raise her skirt, lie down, spread her legs, by R ic h ard Con e; Pacific Northwest, May take out his penis, introduce it into her 1989, pp. 53, 102) . vagina, then, during the act, p erfor m par- a ll el movements unti l m u tual orgasm (See also ACROTOMOPHILIA, HARPAX- occurred.\" Suspicion was aroused when she OPHILIA, PHOBOPHILlA, SADISM, SYM- became pregnant and a detective was then PHOROPHILIA and VICARIOUS AROUSAL) hired by the husband, who confirmed his fears (Sexual Anomalies and Perversions, by HYGROPHILIA Hygrophilia (hygro: wet Magnus Hirschfeld, p. 378). or moistur e, and philia: attachme nt) refers to sexual arousal attained from contact with H ypnotic suggestion is also used by ther- any type of body secretion. This includes apists to create an aversion to particular nasolingus (nasal mucous), tears, saliva, types of sex. A case cited by C.A. Douglas sa liroph il ia (perspiration ), vampirism Ringrose was of a young male who devel- (blood) , urophili a (urine) , coproph ilia oped a sexual attraction for his mother-in- (feces), semen, and vaginal secretions. la w. He sought co unseling and Quad 'P ' therapy was used . This is a \"combination of People may derive their pleasure from self hypnosis, b ehavior modification, bio- dir ect contact with the secretion s, prefer to feedback, personal acupressure, and auto- genic programming.\" The patient was put

HYPNOSIS 137 ILLEGAL SEX in a trance to explore hi s past. Then his this fear and thus can experience orgasms. \" memories were modified to associate Others have u sed autoh ypnotic suggestion sexual th oughts of the mother-in-law with to induce orgasms for themselves. Cases are an unpleasant taste (castor oil) and an m entioned in the annals of hypnosis that unpleasant aroma (ammonia) ...Post-hyp- describe hypnotist-induced hallucinations notic suggestions were given to associate that are visual, auditory, and tactile. These any new sexual thoughts of the m other-in- hallucinations are said to b e of sed uctive law with the aversive stimuli...During a sub- women who sing, dance, and provide the sequent series of three sessions, a penile tactile stimulation needed for orgasm self-slap was added.\" The patient finally (Perverse Crimes in History, p. 18 1) . achieved relief from his problems (\"Case Report Quad 'P ' therapy for rapid relief A Florida h ypnotherap ist, Michael from Sexual Aberration,\" by C.A. Douglas Stivers, u ses hypnosis to enlarge women's Ringrose, British Jou rnal of Sexual Medicine, breasts and offers a money back guarantee May 1989, p. 194). if the patient fails to see resul ts after several treatments. (KNTV, Chan. 11 News, People who experience sexual phobias December 30, 1991) (impotence or frigidity) have sometimes been successfully hypnotised to overcome (See also SEX MAGI CK, SUBLIMINAL TAPES and SUBPERSONALITY) I ICE Ice is used to enhance tactile stimula- the p enis to become flaccid. A small amount tion, confuse or surprise the partner, delay of ice is occasionally inserted into the vagina orgasm, as a catheter, a light form of tor- or rec rum during sex or is placed inside the rure, or as first aid for mild bums. foreskin and the end is then taped or h eld A sample S/M ice scene is as follows: shut. Fellatio is used t o speed the melting Male: Has waiter of restaurant seat him and process. CAUTION: It is u nsafe to put his date in a secluded corner. As he whispers m ore ice into an orifice than will dissolve his desires into her ear he takes the opportunity within a couple of minutes. Ice catheteriza- to slowly guide his hand discreetly up her dress ~tion requires a special clean procedure and and along her thigh. can be dangerous if the ice rod has rough edges or breaks before it melts. Female: Responds by taking a piece of ice from (See also CAT HETERS, CIGARS, ELECTRIC her water glass and hands it to him, saying, \"If SHOCK, MASOCHISM, PSYCHROCISM and y ou want to play I make the rules. Take the ice SENSORY ENHANCEMENT) and run it in circles up my inner leg, pull my panties aside, and inserL it. If you don't do it ILLEGAL SEX The government o nce right I'll order the most expensive item on the regulated which days married couples could menu. \" have sex, positions (missionary) they could Ice c an be run along the b ody a t any use, type of sex (penovaginal, kissing, and time, but it is especially effective during caressing), and denied them the use of birth b ondage or massage. A few heavy S/M par- control. Europe ans broke the ti es between ticipants will blindfold their partner telling religious sanctions and civil law long ago. them they are going to brand or bum them However, in the United States legislators and instead u se ice. The initial sensations stall ed, fearing that support of changes in are very similar. T hey also alternate heat the sex statutes would labe l the m as and cold for added intensity. immoral. Therefore, a country which is pro- Other uses of ice include placing a few gressive in every other way ha s kep t its chips in the mouth as one fellates a partner. archaic civil r egu lati ons on sex between This will usually d elay orgasm by causing consenting adults until quite recently. The

ILLEGAL SEX 138 ILLEGAL SEX manufacture and sale of condoms was their husbands. One woman had already illegal in the United States until December, asked for a divorce. Today most other states 1930. This is an item that has been available permit consensual sex between adults. Sex in one form or another for 3,000 years. acts most commonly prosecuted as criminal Condoms purchased before 1930 wer e are rape, prostitution, child molestation, obtained on the black market and thus were exhibitionism, voyeurism , homos exu al not subject to quality control. The behavior, and pornography. California's American Law Institute, in 1955, wrote a legal age of consent (adult) is 18 years . new code recommending that all laws Touching a child 13 years and under is con- imposing fines and imprisonment for sexual sidered molestation and is a felony. If the activities performed between consenting child is 14-1 8 the charge is changed to adults in private be abolished. Despite the \"child annoying\" and is a misdemeanor. fact that in 1948 Kinsey released data Zoophilia is a misdemeanor. Homosexual showing that the majority of Americans behavior is legal unless it occurs in a state engaged in illegal sexual activity, these prison. Incest is illegal regardless of the age puritan laws continued to be enforced. of the participants . There is also a law (Kinsey reported that 59% of Americans against child pandering which, in addition engaged in oral-genital sex, 70% used pros- to pimps, includes a father who talks a pros- titutes, 37% had participated in homosexual titute or fr iend into showing his son the behavior, and 17% of those raised on fa rms ropes if the son is younger than sixteen. had engaged in zoophilia.) The new Model Penal Code was not accepted by any state California law has made provisions for until Illinois reformed its laws in 1962. In anyone who technically breaks a law but one 1965 a landmark decision was rendered by that was obviously not intended for their the U.S. Supreme Court in the case of case. This law permits an attorney to inform Griswold v. Connecticut which gave married jurists that they can nullify an unfair law if couples the right to use birth control devices they feel it is too harsh in a particular case. without having their privacy invaded by the This is called Jury Nullification and the imposition of criminal sanctions, but still jurists use it by simply voting \" innocent\" arrests continued. In 1967 parents had their regardless of the defendant's plea. college student daughter and boyfriend arrested in Illinois for alleged fornication. Americans are at risk of even greater The fai:her stated \"I'd rather see her in jail intervention and regulation of sex between than debauched.\" In 1963 a prominent consenting couples by the government. entertainer was arrested on charges of Within the last few years, the FBI has used sodomy (fellatio with two consenting the RICO law, originally designed to confis- females) and spent two years of a ten year cate all of a drug lord's property, again st sentence in prison before attorneys were video store owners and x-rated movie pro- able to get him released. These were only a ducers. The complainants are usually from few of the many cases where people were the religious right or originate from traps set convicted for having deviant sex with a con- by FBI investigators. If the investigator s can senting adult. At the end of 1990 Idaho, get three convictions in a small religious Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, community, they can use the RICO act to Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, confiscate property from people in other Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, states; even when laws in the other state Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode permit them to produce the material. In Island, and the District of Columbia still addition to this type of government censor- had statutes against heterosexual fella tio, ship, Senate Bill 1521 has been in troduced cunnilingus, anal sex, and the use of dildos. \"which would allow victims of sexual assault Adultery is illegal in some states. Recently a to file a civil suit against p roducers and dis- couple of women were arrested and con- tributors of 'obscene' material.\" victed on the mere accusation of adultery by (Californians ACT, Vol. VI, N o . 4, by Bobby Lilly, Nov. 14, 1991, p. 2) . T his bill was introduced desp ite evidence by the

ILLEGAL SEX 139 IMP OTENCE President's Commission on Obscenity and Censorship,\" by Bobby Lilly, National P ornography ( 1970) that pornography, a Sexuality Symposium lecture, February 16- 20th century innovation, does not \"cause\" 18, 199 1) sexual violence against women and chi ldren. This bill is serious because it could provide (See also ADULTERY, ANAL SEX, BOR- rapists and child molesters poss ible legal DELLOS, PEDOPHILIA, PORNOGRAPHY and defense for their criminal acts and make P ROS T I TUT I O N) prosecution even more difficult. Another tragic effect of this bill would be to poten- IMPOTENCE ( Astyph ia, Asyn odia, tially increase the number of sex crimes. Invirility, Pareunasthenia) Impotence is the The majo rity of sex offenders d on't take inability to sustain an p ersonal r esp on sibility fo r their vio le n ce; erection long enough this is .why they repeat th eir acts. A bill that for penetration of a would shift responsibility e nab les them to partner, b ut orgasm continue in their violence without remorse usually remains pos- once they are acquitted or paroled. sible with the right amount of stimula- A merica is not the only country th at is tion. This condition becoming more repressive with their laws affects al most 10 against sex. The Canadian Supreme Court million people in the United States recently ( 1992) ruled that pornography including as many as 40% of men over 65 could cause violence aga inst women. This years old who are not in good health. assumption was based upon lobbyists' argu- ments that withi n the last few years, along Normal erection depends on many fac- with the rise in pornography, there has been tors. It may begin with an increased level of a rise in sexual harassment and rape. This dopamine and adrenalin in the brain or with assumption is not n ecessarily valid. It is stimulus to the p arasympathetic (involu n- worth noting that historically societies tary) n erves of th e penis. These cause the enduring econ omic d istress experienced an smooth inte rn al musc les of the penis to increase in sp ouse abuse, ha te crimes, rape, relax, allowing blood to enter through two theft, and so fo rth. People wh o un de rgo main dilating arteries in the penis, filling stress d ue to loss a of livelihood either tiny sinu soid veins with blood. As these release their anger on the weaker or co m- expand they create pressu re on the veins pensate for their loss with overeating, sex, that control blood flow back into the body. alcohol, or drugs. It is quite possible that The penis at this point becomes erect. After instead of pornography being the cause of one eventually achieves orgasm, th e two an increase in sex crimes, that an increase in arteries return to no rmal, the m uscle con- pornography was only one of many symp- tracts, the pressure on the veins is dimin- toms of a suffering economy . Another ished, and the blood drains back into the country, England, recently (1992) u sed a body leaving the penis flaccid. A disease, prior ruling on fights (originally used to injury, or temporary debility of any of these prohib it consen su al but d eadly duels) to com ponen ts can cause impotence apply to con sen su al sex acts. If allowed to (\"Impotence\" by P . C hurch, Harvard stand, this law makes illegal in England a ny lvf.edical School H ealth L etter, September consensual act that would break or bruise 1989, pp. 4-6, and October 1989, pp. 3-4). the skin. Technically this includes love bites, spanking, and many other S/M activities. Anxiety and stress can cause temporary (\"Co ntroversy over court rulin g on sado- impotence but doesn't seem to interfere masochism\" by Nick C ohen , London with erotic desire. On the other h and, I ndependent, February 20, 1992, pp. 1, 3) . depression and anger cause a decrease in sexual arousal without creating actual impo - (\"Sexual Lifestyles and the Criminal,\" by tence. Norma Jean Almodovar, L ifesty le Conference, August 17-1 8, 1990; \"Sex and If a person suspects impotence with a psychological cause, an old fashioned but simple me thod of testing for this is that of

IMPOTENCE 140 IMP OTENCE sticking a row of postage stamps around the po tency occurs-typically to earlier in the shaft of the penis before retiring. If the per- day. One patient who reported he could forations are torn in the morning the person ' barely get an erection on ce the sun went has experienced normal involuntary noc- down,' proved in satia ble at noon.\" turnal erections (normally 3-5 a night) and psychological impotence can be suspected, T reatments fo r imp otence vary although not proven. A urologist should b e accord ing to its ca use . Drugs li ke papa- consu lted if ph ys ical impoten ce is su s- verine (dilates the vessels) and prosta- pected. T his specialist will be able to test glandin EI arterial blood flow, condition of sinusoids, (PGEl ) can and possible leakage of veins. The urologist be injected to can make an initial diagnosis with an injec- produce erec- tion of papave rine. If the male gets a fu ll tions that vvill erection and maintains it his problem is last about 30 probably psychological. If he only becomes minutes. T he semi-erect or it comes on slowly he usually needle is very has a problem with a rteries that flow in to small in dia- the penis. If he has an e rection but it d oesn't met er a nd last very long his problem may be due to the only causes veins leadin g out of the penis not closing. slight pain for most men. There is a risk that All these problems are now treatable wit h the drug's effects will last too long (4+ surgery and h ave a 50-70% success rate. hours) and cause further damage. A physi- The physician may be able to diagnose cer- cian needs to be contacted if this happen s, tain diseases or ailments that often cause in order to inject a counteracting drug. A impotence, such as diabetes, nervous system priapism (lo ng term e recti on) that is not disorders or injury, atherosclerosis, or a relieved w ithin 6 hours causes p ain, and if deficiency of testosterone (male hormone). allowed to continue untreated for 24 h ours Impotence also often occu rs afte r surgical can cause gangrene and require surgery. A removal of the prostate, bladder, or part o f man wanting to relieve erection before the the rectum due to cancer. normal time has elapsed can take 30mg of Sudafed (decongestant), assuming he did In addition to inherent p hysical or emo- not overdose on the amount of his injection . tional problems a person can suffer impo- Impo ten ce treatmen t incurs an a nnual tence due to drug abuse, or as a side effect expen se of $ 1, 000-5 , 000 . T h e newes t fro m certain prescription medications (beta- approach has been with a mixture o f three blockers, tranquil izers, and antid epressan ts drugs: papaverine, prostagland in, a nd p hen- am ong others). Tobacco has recently to la mine . A large r majority of m e n becom e suspect as co n tributing to impo- responded fa vorably in a test; there were no tence. Studies conducted on dogs that were prolonged erectio ns, n o p ain, no fibrosis, made to inhale the equivalent of o ne to two an d the cost was only $2 .50 eac h (M en's cigarettes resulted in temporary impotence. H ealth, \" Injections That Cause Erections,\" Alcohol is an other cause of impotence. by Mike M cGrath, Vol. 6, #8, August 1990, Autopsies on the penises of alcoholics h ave pp. 4 - 13). An altern ative injection d evice revealed that many of these men had very has been in ve nted and is awaiting FDA few if any of their penile nerves remaining approval in the U nited States. It is a small (\"Impoten ce,\" lecture by Tom Lue, M.D., p lastic tube that is held just inside o f the Palo Alto, May 30, 1990). urethra and squeezed so that the medication drains down into its center. T his method is Some men are imp otent at night but are an impro vement over needle injectio n s capable of havi ng sex a t other times. Dr. becau se the needle sometimes causes scar Martin Blinder, in his book Choosing Lovers tissu e to develop over time. (p. 2 11), states: \" Incidentally, as men age, there is a change in the time of day whe n Vacuum devices are m uch less expensive their sexual biorhythm and consequent p eak but can be cumbers om e. The vacuum

IMPOT ENCE 141 IN CES T device has a cylinder that is M en suffering from impotence in other ( p laced over the penis; the air cultures have used alternative methods of achieving orgasm . Mo st of these involve is pumped out, thus pulling flagellation or some other fo rm of se nsory , / b lood up into most of the stimulation that leads to an altered state/orgasm. These techniques are effective penis, Once the penis in inducing orgasm without genital contact; becomes fairly engorged (3-5 therefore erection is irrelevant. P rostitutes minutes), the vacuum device were often experts in employing flagellation, is re m oved a nd a ring is and many bordellos specialized in this type placed around the base of the of remedy. The ma n had an additional penis to prevent the blood from flowing advantage with these women as he did not back into the body until after o rgasm. have to feel guilty or embarrassed at not T issu e damage can occu r if the ring is left having an erection to facilitate p enetration on fo r more t h an 15 minutes . A si mi lar and h en ce her p leasure, since she d erived semi-rigid device produced in England and this from payment. Thomas Gregor d ocu- called Correctaid is left on during inter- mented cures used today b y primitive tribes course (British Journal of Sexual M edicine, in the Amazon. These include simply rub- June 1990, p . 175). bing phallic shaped fish, turtles, or p la nts Implant devices vary slightly. The sim- against the penis while chanting or having plest, the malleable, consists of two cylin- another male b lowing onto the penis as if der s that can be inserted into the shaft of trying to r evive fading embers. The most the penis under local a nesthesia. The penis unpopular technique was to h ave the p enis will be semirigid and can be bent forward scarred, afterward rubbing medicine into for sex and back toward the b ody the the wounds (Anxious Pleasures, The Sexual r emainder of time. The penis will n ot Lives of an Amazonian People, p. 140). The C hinese acupuncture method was used in inc rease in size or swell, 1989 on a grou p of one hun dred men who bu t the rigidit y wi ll fai led to respond to other fo rms of treat- allow pene tration and ment. Of these 63 were able to have sex orgasm. A more com - twice a week and ten could do so o nce a plicated implant con- wee k (Journ al of Traditional Chinese sists of two inflatable Medicine as qu oted in Sex Over Forty, Sept. cylinders, a pump, and 1990 issue, p . 5) . reservoir . The pump and reservoir are placed There is a self help group called I-Anon in the scrotum. T he that is head quartered in Maryville, pump can b e pressed to Tennessee for those needing em otional sup- pu sh the fl uid h eld in port. the reservoir in to the inflatable tubes, pro- (See also CELIBAC Y, DYSFUNCTIONS, ducing a more natural erection. The pump FLAGELLATION and HANDICAPS) is pressed again after orgasm to release the fluid from the tubes back into the reservoir. INCEST These im plan ts can range in cost fro m $ 10,000 to $20,000 (Mayo Clinic Healch SLEEPING BEAUTY Letter, December 1989, pp. 4-5). Sexologists or other professional health Laid out care workers are recommended for an y Under the gauzy veil couple attempting adjustment to the hus- band's impotence or restoration of sexual O f sleep, activity. Renewed sexual activity causes I feel the hall light strike many women to feel jealous of other women for the first time and they may need coun - Me in the chest, seling a nd support in adju sting to this And I curl around it, change. Roll away Into dreams, Away

IN CES T 142 IN CEST From the creased frown C leopatra. Before her return to Egypt, the And darting, hungry eyes, second brother/husband disappeared even more mysteriously than the first (The Nile, Hoping that this time The Life-Story of a River, by Emil Ludwig, The burning incandescence will fade pp. 464-9). To cool, empty blackness. Fath er/dau ghter incest is the typ e of But when the light dies, incest that is prosecuted most often in court. It leaves a stirring in the dark Often, the men are religious, p assive, poorly That cleaves to my dreams, educated, and married to wives wh o are Breathes into them a rising spinning life, usually u navailable emotionally due to ill - That smooths the wrinkles, ness, alcohol, o r drug add iction. T he daughter often has to take over the mother's The eyes unchanged, housekeepin g responsibilities. These, or And I wish for a needle, other problem s, can create an environment where both the ch ild and father crave nurtu- Immune to kisses, rance. The father' s m oral values prevent To drain me for the last time him from even considering having an affair outside the marriage, a sin of adultery. Of cursed wakefulness Therefore, over a period of several years the And heat. father a nd daughter may sit together on a couch and watch t e levision , gradually - Nelson Graff, 1992 becoming m o re physicall y intimate, each time with the father reprimanding himself (Fratrilagnia-brother, Matrincest-mother, and swearing not to let it happen again. Of Oedipus complex-repressed desire to have course, both have weak resistance and even- sex with parent of opposite sex, tu all y e ngage in petting, oral sex, inter - Patrolagnia-fath er, Thygatria-father/ course, and so forth. A key factor involved daughter, Sororilagnia-sister) in) tather/daughter incest is often the father whb lacks parent/child bonding d u e to the T he taboo against incest originated for father n ot having participated in diap ering, several reasons. Gen etic ·defects in offspring feeding, and caring fo r the child as an has been cited most often. H owever, many infant. tribes only restricted marriage between rela- tives; not sex. The taboo was used to pro- Mother/son incest, the third type o f mote kinship with other tribes, and to avoid incest, may begin after a divorce when a sexual disruption or confusion of roles in toddler is allowed to sleep with the mother the fa mily unit. S ibling incest was once and a few nights runs into several years; thought to produce only female offsp ring. however, actual penetration is rare in this This belief might h ave been one reason situation. Typically, the dangers are greater patriarchal societies prohibited these mar- when the toddle r or other male child is past riages. puberty and the m other is divorced, wid- owed, or not receiving an adequate amount Incan royalty is thought to h ave used of affection from a husband . T he young incestuous marriage to keep p ower and men react in different ways, including wealth in the family. The Egyptian royalty h aving deep feelings of guilt. A teenager used matrilineal descent in choosing succes- who fee ls guilt for seducing h is moth er sors because they couldn't prove paternity. needs to be reminded that, unless he raped Royal sons could only rule if they married her, seduction is impossible without the their sisters. Sometimes they were married mother's consent. Teenagers are often trau- at birth . Cleopatra was one of the most matized by sexual advances made by their notable females who engaged in incestuous mother/gu ardian. It is important for th ese marriage. At 14 she was married to her 10 moth ers to know that the psychological year old brother. T hey vied for power until, damage could make it difficult or im possible at about age of 19, her brother mysteriously dr owned in th e N ile. Caesar had Cleopatra married a few years later to another young brother as a cover, while he lob b ied fo r a law permitting polygamy. But then Caesar was murdered b efore he could wed

INCEST 143 INFANTILISM fo r their sons to trust or maintain normal ophilia-arousal from playing role of infant) relationships with women as they grow into Infantilism refers to p eople who prefer to adults. re main ch il dren an d who often h ave an aversion to their adult bodies, facial or gen- Same sex parent/child incest can be the ital hair, or w earing adult clothing . T here most traumatic for a child becau se it are cases of sexual and non-sexual infan- involves breaking two of society's taboos. tiles. Infantilism d iffers fro m anaclitism in that th e former All individuals need to take responsibility consists of people for their own sexuality. The adolescent who want to should say \"no\" without guilt, find a con- regress or act out senting person their own age, or seek pro- the role of a child fessional help before incest occurs. Seeking and the latter is a counsel before an incident is very important fetish relating to because it may p revent incest, and because objects o r acts counselors are required to report cases of from childhood. incest, thus making it almost impossible to seek assistance after incest has occurred T here are cases of adults who act out without the risk of someone b eing arrested . their desires alone and without a partner. Too m any parents view incest as limited to They may dress as a young boy and sit at the physical act. Incest can have traumatic home all day looking at themselves in the emotional ramifications for the rest o f the mirror or they may take a break and go to a child's life. Adults who were either sexually park and play innocu ous games with chil - abused or engaged in incest as young chil- dren. Others ke ep their b ody hair shaved, dren often suffer from low self-esteem , dress in children's clothing, and p hotograph guilt, shame, impotence, poor interpersonal themselves. One man took extreme pleasu re relationships, obesity, and suicidal tenden- in checking into a hotel and urinating in bed cies. during the n ight. Infa n tilism was popular enough among the general populace for Incest is illegal but not unnatural. If it German s to participate in adult baby balls were unnatural we wouldn't need such after Lent. stringen t laws. The strength of the taboo counteracts the strength of the desire. Other adults find willing partners and There's nothing wrong with having fan- create a multitude of scenarios. An infantile tasies; however, as m entioned previously, scene can last for many hour s and the merely touching someone under thirteen in length is negotiated ahead of time because California is a felony and in cest has no of this. T h e respon sibility placed on t he statute on age. Before engaging in incest parent of a demanding infant can b e very both the parent and teenager might consider exhaust ing . The adul t is not always a the consequences involved with having a parent. H e or she may be a young male parent (father or mother) imprisoned, and child being baby-sat by a teenager who the en suing isolation and guilt imposed on tucks them in, reads a bed time sto ry, and the child. The law does not acknowledge tries to seduce the bashful bu t aroused mutual con sent between immediate rela- young person. Scenes are also acted out tives; therefore, this defense cannot be used wh ere eac h partner dresses and p lays t he in court. role of a child. Games of doctor and show m e yours are also u sed. Family rape is very traumatic and a child in this predicament may speak to a school Infantilism is on the increase because nurse or coun selor. There are many agen- people are able, for a time, to have burden- cies whose purpose it is to protect children some adult resp onsibilities taken away, and from incest and rape. thus find it possible to \" let go\" emotionally (and perhaps sexually) in ways that would (See also ILLEGAL SEX, NYMPHOPHILIA, not be permitted the \"adult. \" They are also PEDOPHILIA and RAPE) allowed to demand nurturin g and attention from their surrogate parent. They are now INFANTILISM (Autonepiop h ilia- arou sal from playing role of infan t, Infant-

INFANTILISM 144 INS U F FLA TI ON in total control and can have every whim infibulation was used by European parents fulfilled without feeling guilt. The act of on their sons to prevent night emissions or getting by with things that they were pun- masturbation during the 19th century when ished for as a child creates a sense of this was thought to be harmful to their empowerment and excitement. In addition health. The Russian governm ent, d uring a to the emotional rejuvenation the child actor time when they restricted many soldiers fee ls, a bond of trust and love is built from marriage, had a wire pushed through between partners. the foreskin of the soldiers and a seal sol- dered onto the ends to prevent unautho- Infantilism can be therapeutic for people rized removal. who are only able to accept un conditi onal nurturing by reverting to infancy or child- Infibulation, following the cutting of the hood. Others use this method to make up labia minora, was used on young girls in for the nurturing they didn't receive from parts of Africa to ensure their virginity at their parents. marriage. The husband was responsible for first opening the scar tissue protecting her Infantilism does not always involve nur- hymen. Cultures varied in their rituals. turing. It may be used in any S/M scene. Some o nly did this once, others closed it Those trying to induce fear in a partner after the woman became pregnant, opened u sually find it easier when the male is made it in time for her to give birth, and sewed to cross dress and to play the role of an the vagina closed again after she became innocent young girl. pregnant. Professional dominatrixes are often hired Today a few people practice a temporary to act out adult roles for infantiles and there form of infibulation or lacing in their sex are magazines and clubs that provide infor- play. It is a psychological game of having mation and paraphernalia. (\"Alternate one's partner impose chastity on them. The Personas,\" by Sybil Holiday and William stitches are placed through either the labia Henkin, Ph.D ., Society of Janus lecture, or foreskin and can remain there up to sev- August 24, 1989) eral days. Infibulation is only performed by people experienced with sterile techniques. (See also ANACLITISM, FANTASY PLAY, They ma y first shave before cleaning the FETISHES, LACTAPHILIA, PARAPHILIAS, genital area with Betadine or Hibiclens . The PEDOPHILIA, PETTICOAT DISCIPLINE, and skin is pinched up and away from the body, TRANSVESTITES) then a sterile suture (or needle and thread) is used to pierce the skin and sew the edges INFIBULATION (Episioclisia, Labiorr- together. CAUTION: This is a blood sport haphy and H ymenorrhaphy-surgical clo- and infection can occur if the person fails to sure of labia) Infibulation (i n: inside, and use sterile procedures. fibulate: that which fastens) is the term used for either the sewing or fastening of the (See also BLOOD SPORTS, BONDAGE/ foreskin over the penis, sewing the labia LACING, RINGING, SAFE SEX, STAPLING and SUTURING) minora or labia majora together, INSECTS See BEE STINGS, FORMI- or sewing th e scrotum around COPHILIA and ZOOPHILIA the penis. The type of penis INSUFFLATION Insufflation, or infibulation deter- blowing air into a person, has been done to mines whether it almost every human orifice. The medical prevents full erec- profession uses it to revive an asph yxiated tion or only pene- person with mouth to mouth resuscitation tration. and pharmacists in 19th century France T he Oetang ring was used as a chastity used a form of recta l insu fflation with device, whereas stitching was done to pre- tobacco smoke to revive or invigorate Ian- vent both coitus and masturbation. Penis

INSUF FLAT IO N 145 JEALO USY guorous patien ts and drowning victims. which makes it easier for them to surrender People have used insufflation during sex or cooperate without losing their dignity. play but it is never recomme nded. CAU- T ION: Air inadvertently pushed into the (See a lso ABDUCTI ON, D ISCIPLINE and rectum du ring en emas usually c auses FANT ASY PLAY) cramp s and if a large amount of air is fo rced into th e rectu m or vagina, it m ay INUNCTION (Aliphineur-person using rupture a blood vessel. It can also c arry a bubble of air (embolism) to the brain or lotion to arouse partner) Inunction (inunc- h ea rt, caus ing in s t ant death . (See al so tion: act of rubbing ointment, or lather) KLISMAPHlLlA and STUFFING) 8refers to those w ho · INTERROGATION Forms of interroga- tion have been adapted by many for sex have their body lath- · games of dominance and submission. The . ·· \"prison er,\" \" rapist,\" \" transves tite,\" \"bur- ered up o r rubb ed glar y victim,\" o r \"shoplifter\" is bound, with an oil and then humiliated, intimidated, \"tortured,\" and at use a partner or object some point \"forced\" to perform sex on the to slide against. Americans during the 60's interrogator. would have Mazola parties where all pa rtici- Some of these scenes have lasted up to two days without the bottom confessing or pants wou ld u ndress, rub thei r bodies with giving in formation. The length of the game is usuall y pred etermined in negotiation and oil, and wrestle or play on a plastic sheet. can be canceled at any time. T here are b ath h ouses in Bangkok, People speed th e process by setting up the interrogation room with bright lights, a Thailand that offer a similar service . A cold temperature, and an uncomfortable position for the prisoner. A dripping faucet client has the c hoice of lying on a lathered or some sort of distracting noise can be used , but not music . Some me n crossdress; air mattress with a lady wriggling on top of him or of being lathered and lying ben:veen two writhing women. The lather alleviates fricti on and produces a sensation that is drastically different from normal skin-to- skin contact. Rubber mitts are sometimes u sed that have soft pliable nubs to add more sensa- tion to the application of oil or soap. (See also COITUS A UNDA, LUBRICANTS and MASSAGE) J JACTITATION Jactitation refers to those jealousy as an arousal tech nique for group who become arou sed or derive pleasure sex. from b ragging about th eir own sexual exploits . Jealousy increases in direct proportion to our dependency on our partner and ou r fea r (See also AGREXOPHILIA, CONFESSIONS, of losing them . Often people who wer e in COPROGRAPHY, COPROLALIA, ERO- some way aba ndoned during their child- TOG RAPHOMAN IA, NARRATOPHIL!A and hood or kept overly dependent on a parent OBSCE1 E PHONE CAL LS) will suffer more from jealou sy. They uncon - sciously feel they will d ie or not be able to JEALOUSY ( Oth e ll o' s sy n drome) function witho ut this surrogate parent. J ealousy is a feeling of envy or anger Many people effectively deal with th is fea r directed toward someone deemed as a rival by building up their independence and self for a loved one. The fear of a loss actually esteem, thus taking the burden of creating creates a stronger reaction b ecause th e happiness or security off their partner. person has to act to prevent the loss, where a permane nt loss will create eventual This formula for self esteem sounds depression . There are a lso people wh o u se simple, howeve r a person has to be strong to

JEALOUSY 146 KAREZZA overcome the critical little voice in side that ment. One type, called says \" you can' t,\" \"you 're ugly,\" \"you' re Sweater Bumpers, fits stupi d,\" \" I will deal wi th it lat er,\" and so around th e nipple in tl1e forth. One mu st learn to ye ll back using same manner that a ring honest argu m ents such as \" I can,\" \" my sl ides over a finger. nose is a linle larger than I would like,\" 'Tm These come in m a ny poor at math but I can speak three lan- designs and can be pur- guages ,\" \" I will work on this project two chased in San F rancisco sex boutiques or hours every night for a week.\" piercing salo ns, o r can be o rdered d irect from the manufacturer. A d ifferent type is It is not easy to win this battle, because made from elastic material and joined by a most people have relied on this vo ice to pro- tect them from failure or e m barrassme n t. decorative chain. These One is turni ng a former ally into their worst a re called T it-Ilizers. enemy, but with courage and persistence Both types of n ipple victory is possible. Salesmen, who have to orn aments cau se the deal with constant rej ection, have a sim ple nipple to stand erect and but effective slogan: \"Ask for what you fee l more sensitive. want, you can't lose something you don't already have.\" Two people who have mas- A C lit Clip was tered control over low self-esteem and jeal- designed by Judy Kirk ousy can live together without either party which slips over the labia feel ing burdened b y the othe r's over- and clitoris like a paper clip. It holds the cli- whelming demands for something neither toris out and cuts off enough has the capability of filling . circ ula tion to keep it en- gorged in a similar manner as Jealousy can be healthy if it focuses a a cock ring does to the p enis. straying partner's attention back on their The clip is deco r ated with spouse. The couple can use this opportunity c rystals o r b ell s tha t hang for honest discussion of their fears and from small chains. negotiate any areas of concern. Cock rings are available for men t hat a re deco rative (See also HEDON ISM, LOVE, P ECAT - and fit around the bottom of TIPHILIA, SADISM and ZELOPHILIA) the glans. Other m en wear leather cock rings wit h JEWELRY Commercial jewelry has been metallic studs. specially desig ne d for people 's breasts a nd genitals. (The jewelry for permanent pierc- (Sec also COCK RIN GS , R INGING and TAT- ings is disc u ssed in th e section o n TOOS) RINGING.) Nipple rings are used by women who like the look of pierced jewelry but wh o JUVENILISM, PARAPHILIC See ADO- don' t want to make a permanent commit- LESCENTILISM and INFANTILISM K KABAZZAH (Pompoir, Kegal exercises, becoming proficient. It is a form of tantra Snapping pussy) Kabazzah is translated as designed to in c rease a nd e nha nce tim e \" holder\" and refers to the Eastern tech- spent with a loved o ne. There are still some nique where the mal e partn er is passive and Eastern prostitutes wh o have this expertise. the female uses only abdominal a nd vaginal mu scle co ntrac tion s to ' m il k' th e penis. KAREZZA (Male contine nce, Coitus Both partners simp ly relax and enjoy the reservatus) Karezza, to caress, was coine d sensations of tl1e union while she moves her by D r . Alice Bunker Stockham in he r book, muscles. W omen train for years before Tokology (1883). Stockham not only recom-

KAREZZA 147 KISSING mended staying in sexual union fo r an hour that we are carrying out a necessary func- but also say ing prayers during this tim e tion. For instance, when we kiss ou r body (Sexual Energy Ecstasy, A Practical Guide to thinks we are eating, when our nipples are Lovemak£ng Secrets of the Eas t and IVesl by massaged our body th inks we are nursing, Da vid and Ellen Ramsdale , P eak Skill wh e n o ur urethra is touched our body Publishing, pp. 228-234). t hinks we are urinating, and it rewards us with a pleasure sensation each time. J ohn H. Noyes, th e foun d er of the Oneida Community, believed in ka rezza The physical act of kissing takes several for a different reason. H e fo unded a group forms. Some pucker their lips an d make a marriage commune in the late 19th century cursory smacking noise as they touch them based on eugen ics. H ere only the most fit to the other person's lips, cheek, forehead, m en were allowed to impregnate the or hand, each si te often h aving a different women . Other men in the group could social implication. The more t he kiss penetrate the women a nd bring their lingers, becomes repetitive, or intimate the partner multiple orgasm s but could n ot more it is interpreted as having sexual ejaculate t h emselves. ·The act required im p li ca ti ons . The m os t arous ing is the relaxation fo r th e male because tension French kiss where th e kisser probes their could b ring on the desire to ejaculate. partner with their tongue. F or this reason, a Noyes d iscover ed that practicing kabazza, F re nch kiss can m ake some people feel in addi tion to accomplishing birth control, uncomfortab le when initiated in public, improved the intimacy and love between without foreplay, or wi th a person who has he and his wife. not expressed reciprocal sexu al interest. (See also BIRTH CONTROL, EUGENICS, Kissing is used to build inte nsit y during SEX POSITIONS, SEX SHOWS and SEXER- forep lay and to convey unspo ken desires. CISE) Females often have a specific limit on what typ e of foreplay or sex in which they are KISSING (Basoexia, Osculocentric an d willin g to engage. F o r instance, she may Philemama nia-craving for kissing) .Kissing allow kissing and touching on the outside of is accompl ished by a person placing their her clothes but not underneath. She may lips against an object or an other person. all o w cunn ilingus but not vagin al penetra - Kissing is a social act between persons of all tion of any sort, etc. The rules are not ages. It is also used during sex as additional always logical to the partner but should still stimulus in many, but not all, cultures. be obeyed. Males seem to be differe nt than females in thi s respect. They will rarely con- Cultures that restricted social contact in tinu e dating a pe r son w ith vvho m t hey the form of kissing or shaking hands usually wo u ld no t be wi lli ng to engage in sex . did it under the auspices of eliminati ng Compromises can often be negotiated with sexual te mptation or d esire. This restriction partners who are not willing to be pene- may also have served to prevent tran smis- trated, but who want to be sexual. They sion of d isease causing bacteria during epi- may be will ing to experiment with coitus a demics . mammilla, fellatio, or mu tual masturbation instea d. The fo ll owi ng is a scenario that Cultures in which kissing is sexual often uses kissing fo r seductio n. assume that it is a natural display of affec- tion and method of sexual arousal; however, S eduction begins by touching the pal'lner's in the biological sense t his is no t accurate. hand followed by strolling their hair or face Our bodies are designed to produce anxie ty with the back of the hand. The chin is then held o r pain if we ign ore vital d uties such as while gently kissing their fac e and lips (no eating, sleep ing, u rinating, defecating, and French ing al this poini). If the p al'lner is so fo rth. Once we engage in an action at our responsive one hand is used 10 cradle the back body's prompting it produces biochemicals of their head and when the partner responds by that create a pleasu re sensation. Stimulatio n caressing or pulling closer, the fingers of the of any of these centers can produce p leasu re because our body is fooled in to thinkin g

KISSING 148 K L EPTO P HILIA hand can be slowly lowered down the outside of KLEPTOPHILIA (Kleptolagnia; Klepto- the clothes to lightly feel the breasts. The hand mania-compulsion to steal) Kleptophilia is then gradually brought to cup the full breasts (klep: to steal or hide, and philia: attach- with more pressure. Kissing may now progress ment to) is the act of becoming sexuall y to using the tongue to lick the other's lips or to aroused by stealing objects. T his differs gently suck on them. The partner may now somewhat from the kleptomaniac who usu- give pe1mission to slide a hand underneath her ally has an uncontrollable urge to steal items blouse and bra. Kissing and sucking are next they don't need. The word kleptomania was directed to the neck and ears. If the partner coined in 1838 for several ki ngs wh o had doesn't remove their clothes, sucking on the the habit of stealing worthless goods . outside over the nipples may provide encour- Kleptomania was not only practiced by agement. Watch for a positive response (faster kings but also by St. Augustine, one of the heart rate or breathing) before proceeding . founding fathers of the Catholic church. In When the nipples are uncovered these may be Confessions he states: \" Yet I lusted to thieve kissed and then covered with the mouth in a and did it compelled by n o hunger, nor sucking action alternating with the hardened poverty.\" tongue probing circles around the nipple or gently flicking back and forth across it. At this Men and women both have participated point one hand may be slowly run down the in kleptophilia. W illiam Stekel, in Sexual w aist or up th e leg toward the genitals, Aberrations, refers to the case of a woman allowing time for the partner to adjust to the who had a doll fetish. Her husband discov- suggestion. If the partner is not ready slow ered her playing with them one afternoon down and repeat the above procedure. Once and destroyed her collection. She went into they are receptive to genital stimulation accel- a depression and later resorted to stealing erate the intensity of kissing, position their replacement dolls. A man in the late 1800's head so that it is underneath and yours on top. was arrested and sentenced several times for A t this point harden the tongue into the shape stealing ladies ' used handkerchiefs and of a penis and gently push it into the partner's spent a total of 7 1/2 years in prison for mouth while simultaneously adding pressure to these crimes. He tried to cover the theft by their genitals. Voice your desires and continue buying handkerch iefs and attemp t ing to thrusting your iongue deep in the partner's exchange them without the \\.voman's detec- mouth (without the lips parting) . It is best to tion. H e also devised a scheme whereby he threw a handkerchief down on the street in get a verbal agreement at this point even if they front of a pedestrian, hoping she would step pull you closer. Asking her if she wants you or on it as she passed. This p roducing imme- if you can take a second to put on a condom diate orgasm for him. makes your intent clear. Foreplay is then The kleptophile prefers stealing fetish started with French kissing and pressing the items and will have an orgasm either while bodies together before penetration is attempted. stealing them or later b y fondling the The whole seduction process may take any- objects. For instance, a person with a panty where from 15 minutes to an hour depending fetish will steal ladies' underwear; one with a on the people. Proper communication is hair fetish may come up behind a woman, strongly recommended to avoid false expecta- cut her hair and flee. T h is also applies to fur tions or accusations of rape later. A person or other articles of clothes where a p iece can who is not held gently or caressed for a few be cut off in a crowd without imm edia te minutes after sex and asked for another date detection. Men with shoe fetishes have may assume the partner just used them for sex, sometimes accosted women and fled with thus turning a wonde1ful experience into one of their shoes. One woman only stole pencils, feeling violated. There are two individual afterward using them to masturbate while people, separate morals, and emotions involved she fantasized about \"an infanti le penis\" in each sexual venture. (Encyclopaedia Sexualis, by Victor Robinson, M.D., pp. 139). A klepto phile (See also CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO and does not always have a parti cular fetish. SEX POSITIONS)

KLEPTOPHILIA 149 KLISMAPHILIA They will instead steal intimate items su ch phys ical r es ponses they ha ve during sex. as tampons, menstrual pads, bras, and The theft of a fetish object seems to act as hygiene sprays. Some are satisfied stealing an aid in turni ng the experience in to that of from stores and others only want item s that sexual arousal. Also fe tishists who b ecome have already been worn b y a person. desensitized to their love object may use the Another kleptophile category is one where extra excitement that stealing produces in men steal a casual sex partner's underwear order to orgasm. Kleptomania may be con- as a personal souvenir. nected with our primeval drive to gather and collect. These activities on ce ensured People suffering from kleptomania may our survival du ring wi nter mo nths. The not have a direct sexual motive but in case kleptophile may also be trying to compen- studies that include sexual histories there sate for a lack of parental love during child - seems to be a correlation between sexual hood, similar to th e fetishist. CAUTION: Stealing is illegal and an inconvenience and dysfu n ctions and s tealing . Marcu s J. hardship to those being robbed. Goldman, M .D. stated this in a research (See also FETISHES, PARAPHILIAS, PYRO- paper: \"No information was given con- PHILIA and R ELICS) cerning sexual preoccupations, behaviors, or dysfunction for 17 of the 26 patients in KLISMAPHILIA (Enemas) Klismaphilia table 1. In the nine studies reporting such (klisma: ene m as; phi lia: attac hment to) information, the patients reported experi- dates back to the ancient Egyptians and was ences such as vaginis mu s, n onarou sal, also po pula r with the French, Greeks, promiscuity alternating with abstinence, and Romans, and Americans. a preoccupati o n with sterility. Some reported orgasm or sexual excitement The Egyptians used enemas for relief of during thefts.\" Goldman continues with a constipation . They believed that all sick- description of these people. \" It would nesses were caused appear that the average person suffering by a buildup of toxic from kleptomania is a 35-year-old married wastes in the body. woman who has been apprehended for the H ealers u se d laxa- theft of objects she could easily afford and tives, vomiting, and d oes not need. H er stealing began at age 20 enemas to all eviate and she has been caught several times. A this disorder. The search of h er house reveals piles of Egyptian's sacred u nopened packages of stockings and cans of bird, the ibis, when jam. Her acts of theft bring her great relief constipated used its from tension, and she may attempt to force long beak to remove feces and many of their herself to re main indoors for fear that she enema tips were modeled after th is bird. will steal.. .She seems to suffer fro m a pow- erfully necessary, pervasive, repetitive, and The 19th century French revived t hi s ultimately self-destructive act. A personal belief and u sed purging as often as four history reveals that she is unhappily mar- times a day. Enemas were though t to ried, may have sexual difficulties, and has improve the complexion, add vigor to one's been dysphoric and moody for many years. constitution, and cure impotence. Charles She very likely has had a tumultuous and Panati, in his book, Panati's Extraordinary stressful childhood. Furthermore, she may Endings of Practically Everything and have a personality disorder\" (Kleptomania: Everybody, enlightens us as to the once pop- M aking Sense of th e Nonsen sical, by ular customs. \" Limonadiers des p os- terieurs,\" or pharmacists trained for giving Marcus J. Goldman, M.D ., American enemas, would arrive with an assortmen t of herbs and syringes. Herbs were mixed and Journal of Psychiatry 148: 8, August 1991 , one could cho se from exotic clyster tips pp. 986-996). such as tortoiseshell, mother-of-pearl , or gold. T obacco enemas were popular, giving Regardless, the act of stealing, with its inherent risk of detection, naturally triggers an adrenalin rus h that gives on e the same

KLISMAPHILIA 150 KNIVES the person a r ush to which th ey soon has been fill ed with warm water. T he became addicted. These enemas led to cushion is rubbed with a water based lu bri- anoth er fo rm of rec tal medication, the cant and pushed into the anus. T he enema smoke clyster. The \"Limonadier\" used a bag is n ext slowly raised u ntil the cushion is special pipe which he inserted in his filled . patient's rectum and blew tobacco smoke. T his became a popular proced ure in Enemas have been used by rapists as reviving fainting women . It is dangerous to well. T here was one case during the 1960's blow too much air into the recrum because of a ma n who would raid a fe m ale college this could cause a fa tal embolism. dorm and tie up all the students, strip them, administer enemas t o all, and then selecting Americans have used enemas fo r consti- the one to whom he was the m ost attracted pation , dieting, before a date as insurance would give h er a seco nd enema before against flatulence, as preparatory cleaning leaving. for anal sex, and for sex itself. Wine enem as and coffee enemas are popular, due to the GOLDEN ENEMAS Golden enemas use effects of the alcohol or the caffeine content. urine instead of water. This is accom plished The slow warm stream of water into the by a man inserting his penis into a partner's rectum, or b y the prostate, seems to anus or vagina and then u rin ating. This is enhance sex play for some. There are clubs physically difficult and only a few men are that cater to this interest in the United able to urinate while semi-erect. Some States. CAUTION: Enemas can cause people simply fill the enema bag with urine dam age if not done safely. Precautions used and administer it instead of water. CAU- fo r enemas: TION : Urine may contain particles of blood, viruses, or bacteria and because of Lots of lubricant is used on both the this golden showers are not considered safe anus an d nozzle. W arm water, soap, sex. drugs, or alcohol can damage tissue if they are not diluted with one quart of (See also CATHETERS, COCKTAILS, LAC- water for every 1/2 jigger of additive. TAPHILIA, SAFE SEX, SCROTAL INFUSION, SHOWERS, TOILET T RAINING, UROPHILIA T he enema bag is held no higher than and VAMPIRISM) th e waist. This allows the water to flow gently. T he sen sual stimulus is KNIVES Consensual knife play is u sed in caused by the stream of water, so the sex games to create a feeling of fear, anx- flow of water is prolonged as long as iety, and ultimate trust . These passion possible. games usually consist of cutting underwear off a partner. Additional threats are not nec- L etting water pass through nozzle essary for the majority of people. T here are before it is inserted avoids getting air a few heavy S/M players who use knives in into th e recrum, causing cramping and interrogation or pseudo-torrure games, but possible embolisms. even th ey rarely cut their partner. Som e will rub tomato catsup on the back edge of the Preliminary enemas are u sed by blade and pull it across th e victim 's flesh people who are embarrassed about leaving a red line that resembles a cut. expulsion of feces. The technique used to cu t away cloth es Proctitis can develop when one depends on the item itself. Clothing over the engages in this activity too often . b reasts may be cut by pinching the fabric lying again st the nipple, pulli ng it away The rubber Who opee Cushion is used in from the body, twisting it, holding it across enema play for those who like enemas but the edge of the knife, making su re that no find the purgatory effects to be unpleasant. skin is near, and then cutting the fabric. A The nozzle of an enema bag is inserted. A fairl y round h ole is left, exposing the breast. rubber band is used to secure the nozzle in Underwear is cut away by pulling the fab ri c place and the hose is attached after the bag away from the body, placing the knife under

KNIVES 151 LA CTAPH ILIA the fabric with the sharp edge always facing bons, paper is used as a disguise or cos- away from the skin and slicing th e fabric. tume. T he lovers th en act out their roles Knife play may be perform ed with or based on the typ e of figur e selected. T here with out a blindfold and bondage, bu t is are geese, fish, squid , and dragons. Busch negotiated ahead of time with a partner, so and Silver, in their book of Kokigami cut- as not to cut away an expensive article of outs, suggest t h e following dialogue and clothing. play for the latter: \"The crafty Dragon likes to breathe Som e men find it extremely stimulating his fire into the dark jeweled to dress in ladies' apparel and then to have cave. Ravaging, vengeful, their panties cut away in a p seudo-rape sly... Where are my precious scene. CAUTION: Knife play is a blood jewe ls? My treasures? M y sport and can be dangerous. Care is taken trophies? Are they hidden not to let the blade point or sharp edge there in your dark cave? The make contact with a partner's skin. Reply: Come on hot stuff! Careful the iron gates don't (See also ABRASIONS, C!CATRIZATION, snap shut and sever your burning tongue!... CIGARS, ELECTRIC SHOCK, PHOBOPHILIA, W ith arms outstretched and fingers curled PYROPHILIA, SAFE SEX and SEX TOYS) like claws, m ove forward wari ly with the knees bent. T he hips may be fl icked about KOKIGAMI Kokigami (koki: a cloth spasmodically accompanied by the low wo rn around the waist by Japanese actors seductive r oar of a raging fu r nace\" and used as a prop, gami: paper) is the art (Kokigami, The Intimate A rt of the Little of wrapping the penis in a paper costume. Paper Costum e, by Heather Bu sch and The 8th century Japanese aristocrats prac- Burton Silver, p. 18). ticed the art of Tsutsumi, or packaging . They wrapped their organs with silk and T he Japanese also used samurai face ribbons in complex and intricate designs m asks over t he gr o in region with a dildo a nd upon entering th e bed chamber offered protruding as the nose. T hose not inter- them as gifts to their lovers. H e then ested in artificial phalli cut out the nose and enjoyed the physical sensations as she care- p ut their own penis through it. fu 11 y un w ra pp ed her p r ize. Today the authors Busch and Silver have invented a (See also FANTASY PLAY, MAS KS and SEX similar fo rm of art. H owever, instead of rib- GAMES) L LACTAPHILIA (Ereti thia; Erotamastia tating nipple. Orgasm during n ursing (tithi- - masturbation playing with own breasts, olagnia) is not exclusively a female trait. Mastofact-breast fetish, Tithiolagnia- or gasm while nursing, Tithioscopia- Hirschfeld wrote of a man who experienced arousal from watching infant nurse) only three orgasms during his life a nd these Lactaphilia (lactate: secretion of milk, and all occurred while attemp ting to n urse an philia: attachment to) is a term u sed for infant. People used to wonder why males sexual arousal ca used by lactating breasts. are born with nipples since \"most\" are not At one time milk from a nursing mother was capable of nursing. The natives of ancient thought to have healing power s. The milk Gallas (near Ceylon) remedied this d iscrep- from both a mother and daughter was used ancy by am putating the nip ples of male as a prophylactic against eye diseases. in fants. They feared that this female symbol would create cowards in battle (Sex and A few nursing mothers will experience Superstition, by G. L. Simons, p. 43, repro- orgasm during infant feeding, and any duced with perm ission of Blackie & Son orgasm will cause milk to spurt from a lac- Ltd.).

LACTAPHIL I A 152 LIGHTI NG People can be aroused by lactation for but this g irl, Phaon, was unresponsive to many reasons. It may be a conditio ned Sappho's a d va nces. Final ly in despair, response from having been breast fed as an Sappho drowned herself at sea. She left infant or be viewed as a for m of female ejac- behind a ri ch collection of love poems, almost all o f which the Catholic Church later ulate. Others find burned. The Greeks too were intolerant of the scene of a lesbian ism bu t iron icall y certain types of woman sucking her male-male relationships were respected. own b reast to be very erotic. There Lesbians have varying tastes in the type are magazines that of partner they select. They may prefer cater to this interest women o f a different race, those who with photos of ap pea r masculine (\"fla t shoe dykes\"), those women squeezing who are feminine (\"lipstick dykes\"), or milk out of one or those who are androgynous in appearance. both breasts. Some T he type of partner selected may o r may have the drops of milk lying on their breasts not match their own appearance. and others fill glasses for the camera. As m ent ioned in the section on SIT- Some lesbians would say that sex does OPHfLIA, a woman can simulate lactation by not play a m ajo r role in thei r lives a nd pouring cream over her breast. Some men o thers feel it does . The type of sex they do prefer wine instead a nd this is referred to as e ngage in varies. Some have a p hob ia o en o su g ia. against any type of penetration, wh ile others (See also ANACLITISM, COITUS A MAM - prefer m utual penetration with fingers or lLLA, FETISHES and SHOWERS) dildos. C unnilingus is engaged in by some lesbians, but not others. A lesbian couple's LAP DANCING Lap dancing seems to sex life, if one exists, can lose intensity after be th e m odern creation of the Mitchell a few years because physical and e motional brothers. It began at their O 'Farrell Theatre simil a rity de stroys pa ss io n fo r man y. in San Francisco. While a stripper p erforms Lesbians today have one advantage over gay on stage others work the aud ience for tips. males and that is the abili ty to have and rear The city ordinance forbids genital contact children in a homosexual marriage. This is with a man or ex p os ure of his gen itals, accomplished by either partner choosing to therefore lap dancing has strict regulations. hav e c hi ldren by a rtifi cial in semi n ati on A stri ppe r dressed in sexy app a r e l will (often with a turkey baster at hom e), or sex approach a man in the audience, negotiate a with a male friend. price, and then facing h im will put a knee on eac h side of his legs and, lean forwa rd Lesbians have support group s and orga- e n o u g h so tha t hi s nose is between her nizations that offer assista nce. L arger cities cleavage. H e is not allowed to caress her as have bars that cater to lesbian clientele with she goes through her pelvic thrusts. special attractio ns suc h as all fe male strip shows, leather co ntests, and costum e par- (Sec al so BE LL Y DANC I NG, C H OR E- ties. Events su ch as the annual SF Lesbian OPHILIA, SEX POSITIONS, SEX SHOWS and a nd Gay Free d o m D ay Pa rade and STRIPPING) Celebration support lesbians ·and is usually led by a group called \"Dykes on Bikes\" who LESBIANS (Cymbalism, Gynecozygous, seem rough enough to make even the macho H arem effect, Tribadism; H omophilia and \" H ell's Angels\" yield right-of-way. H omosexualism- male or female gays) The name lesbian is taken from a tragic Greek (See abo BI-SEXUALI SM, GAYS and HET- account o f a woman named Sappho who EROSEX UAL S) lived aro und 600 B.C. She supervised a sc ho o l for gir ls o n th e is land of Lesbos. LIGHTING Both wom en ' s fertili ty an d Sappho fell in love with o ne of her students men 's virili ty a re influen ced b y circadian rhythms (the body's natural metabolic, gland u lar and sleep rh ythm cycles).

LIGHTING 153 LOVE Research has proven that an absence of light the evening, and timer devices are some- throws this system off its regular cycles. times strategically set for bedtime. Eskimo women do not menstruate or ovu- late during the Alaskan winters and men (See also COURTSHIP) have a decreased amount of spermatozoa during this time. Bright light is an essential LOVE Love and sexual attraction are part of our sex lives, but at the same time emotional reactions stimulated by the brain. can be uncomfortable to the eyes. For this Infantile love begins as a survival instinct at reason some prefer to have sex in the dark; a time when the child is dependent on par- others use blindfolds during the types of sex ents for all its care. Although a child later play that require bright lights. develops a desire to explore and p lay with peers, the need for love and nurturing at The type of light selected for romantic this stage is evoked more by a sense of foreplay can be important. Ordinary light danger, at which time the child seeks out its bulbs tend to tinge flesh with tones that are mother. It is natural for both humans and not flattering, and also seem to expend a animals to gradually teach their young sur- person's energy at a faster rate. Romantic vival skills and if necessary to \" push them interludes require forethought if one wants out of the nest.\" If parental love or protec- their partner to feel comfortable and even- tion is withdrawn too early a child may tually undress. The following chart com- transfer their love attachment to an inani- pares an environment that is not conducive mate object and have difficulty later in to one that is: trusting a partner in a relationship. If the detachment is done late a child may remain Hard chair Soft spacious sofa too dependent on their parents or others. A high self-esteem results in being able to care Caffeine drink Wine cooler or for one's own needs wher eas love is per- light liquor ceived as a dependence on someone else to care for those needs. The two are on a con- A bright light Dim light or tinuum, meaning that a person who doesn't that enhances candles that feel th ey can provide themselves with all possible flaws hide flaws their needs will rely more on a love object for survival. A person who is independent Natural back- Soft background will n ot be as dependent on a love object. ground noises music to mask Nature seems to endow normal teenagers or television d istracting sounds with an inflated self esteem. T his probably gives them the extra courage needed to Cool room Warm leave nurturing parents and face the world temperature on their own. The colo r light one chooses can also Adult love seems to follow a similar pat- enhance one's mood and create specific illu- tern to that of childhood, with anxiety cre- sions. Green can slow down a man's erec- ating a perceived need for a love object. tion time and red can speed it up, but may also trigger arguments . The combination of Several experiments have been con- blue and green can create the illusion of ducted to gain insight into love. Julius Fast larger breasts and penises. Everyone's and Meredith Bernst ein, in their book, favorite; candlelight and fireplaces, seem to Sexual Chemistry, What It Is-How To Use enhance the shape and color tone of the It, cite an experiment done by Drs. G .L. body and in general add to an erotic mood White, S. Fishbein, and I. Rutstein where (Sexual Energy Ecslacy, by David Alan they divided men into four groups. The Ramsdale and Ellen Jo Dorfman). groups then were exposed to one of the fol- lowing stimuli: a boring lecture on the People experime nt with light by using a anatomy of frogs, a comic routine, the stor y combination of candlelight with colored of a murdered and mutilated missionary, or glass candle holders. Dimmer switches allow p eople to modi fy the light intensity during

LOVE 154 LOVE ADDICT ION just told to run in place. The men \"wer e each towards the other. This bonding may next all shown a videotape of an attractive also be influenced by other factors such as young woman talking. W hen asked if they'd insecurity, financial gain/loss, social pres- like t o date this wo man and ki ss her, the sure, a nd so fo rth . three groups who had been stressed by exer- cising, a comic routine, or a horror story all An excellent resource for those interested responded more positively than the m en in reading more about relationships and who h ad sat through the dull lecture on the why people enter them is D r. Martin frog.\" Blinder's book, entitled Choosing Lovers. A similar study was done by a group of (See also JEALOUSY and LOVE ADDIC- psych ologists who conducted an experiment TION) on m en who had just walked across a swaying bridge. A woman was stationed at LOVE ADDICTION A love addiction, the end of the bridge and stopped p eople to or more appropriately, a love compulsion is as k qu es ti on s for a survey . She gave h er an irresistible impulse to fantasize about a phone number under the pretext of making love object, expec ting it to provide a solu- available the su rvey results. A large per- tion to problems. D aydreaming itself seem s centage of men called to request d ates. The to trigger opiates to numb pain. The com- men in this study had confused or trans- p ul sive love r is simp ly a pe rso n who ferred the fear and anxiety response they becomes fixated on romance or sex a nd tries felt from crossin g the bridge into a feeling of to avo id lonelin ess, fea r, stress, or other attraction fo r the woman. basic unfulfilled needs in this manner. The negative as pect of fan tasizing is that it W hat elem ents then n eed to be present in numbs th e pain everyo ne must exp e rience order to trigger the love response instead of in deali ng with life and by doing this a anger or fear It seems that the primary person d estro ys the incentive to work on facto r is th e sexual attractiveness and recep- real issu es; the anxiety is transferred instead tiven ess of someone in the immediate to possessing a love object. The person vicinity. The male is generally more suscep- makes themself more dependent on others tible to love at this point, wh ereas fe m ales and becomes Jess capable of functioning on tend to sc reen the man for an emotional or a their own. Ironicall y, they become enslaved financial security potential. N ext, to bond to thi s self des tru c tive cycle wh ich will the relatio nship, the two partners must have inevitably inclu de pain. compleme ntary needs, or think they do. This is similar to the concept of power, and There are many ways to battle a compul- in a love relation ship it can place the more sion whe ther it is fo r love, sex, drugs, food, needy partner in a submissive role. M utual feti shes, working, gamb ling, etc. T he most p hysical nurturing is a major n eed for both common advice is to build up one's self individuals. Other needs m ay be for excite- esteem. T h is mea ns taking co ntrol of life, ment, power, secu rity, personality ch arac- becoming more egotistical and self nur- teristics, beauty, and companionship . turing, improvi ng one's appearance (if it Someon e wh o is con stantl y u nde r stress, keeps them from socializing), and avoid ing good or bad, is likewise often su sceptible to harsh judgments and restrictions on oneself. falling in love. Recognition of specific needs Pai n is face d and resolved rathe r th an that are being gratified by a partner is masked or avoided. When something trau- important before a com mitment is made. matic occurs the person tries to first handle Ask whether the needs are temporary and it alone, a n d no t u se this as an excuse to rational. Also, a re there other methods that fi nd a roma ntic fi x. P ersonal goals are set as could be u sed to satisfy them ? well as m aintaining a good balance of activi- ties. A method used specifically for relation- Bonding after a marriage is facilitated by ships in volves analyzing the qual ities that a conti nued matching of needs and gratifi- are u sually present in the people with which cation s, compatible interests, open commu- one normally falls in love. Once this is done nication, and compassion on the part of a person select s one o r two of these

LOVE ADDICTION 155 LOVE POTIONS attributes and works on making them part the person on which the spell was to be cast. of themselves. This defuses some of the A love-sick female usually approached a attraction they feel for lovers and individ- witch seeking assistance in casting a spell on uals improve their own self-esteem. They the man she wanted to be her lover. The become the special person others want to ritual began with the girl undressing and date. lying on a b ench. The witch would then place a wooden board across the top of the There are support groups that people girl's genitals, mix the cookie dough using can attend such as the twelve step program ginger, a once popular called \"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.\" aphrodisiac, mold it Here m embers, if single, are encouraged to into the shape of a give up sex until they gain a proper per- man, and place it onto spective on love and relationships. It is not a small stove that was until sex and fantasies are given up that one now placed on top of realizes that the urge to do these things is the wooden board. triggered by something painful in o u r The cookie baked everyday lives-things such as having a while the witch chanted and in explicit lan- friend move away or not getting a promo- guage told the girl what type of sex she tion. The first urge is often for sex. Once a could expect from the man. The girl was to person says \"no\" the next urge is to have a intensify her passion until she ach ieved an drink, eat, or anything that will distract one orgasm, sometimes having to be assisted by from feeling the pain. The more appropriate the witch or a local male. Once the orgasm solution for a person is to learn to deal with occurred, the cookie was removed and pain, grieve, and address the real issue so wrapped. The girl was then instructed to that it can be resolved. deliver it to the object of her love and wait for the spell to take effect. Not everyone agrees that people can have too much sex. The National Organizati on The ancient witch also used liquid Jove for Sex Enthusiasts (N.O.S.E.) was founded potions that contained alcohol. Some of by Roger Libby, Ph.D. and advocates sex as these re cipes are available commercially healthy and a natural b ody function. such as Advokaat, Chartreuse, Creme de Noyaux, Drambuie, Goldwasser, Mezcal, (See also JEALOUSY and LOVE) Parfait Amour, Sloe Gin, and Vermouth. LOVE POTIONS Love potions are dif- Spells that used visualization and goal ferent from aphrodisiacs in that a special setting were also popular. An example of magic ritual is performed over the concoc- one of these is when one wou ld hang a tion. These were popular in societies where loving bell in an open window facing toward spou ses were not monogamous. \"Juvenal, a the west. A cha nt was then spoken: first-century sati ris t, reproved Roman women for dosing their husbands with love Little bell of Jove, I hang you to potions from Thessaly which only caused whisper my need for love on the premature senility, dizziness and loss of breezes and winds. memory\" (Sex and Superstition, by G.L. Simons, p. 67, reproduced with permission L ittle bell of love, speak of m y need of Blackie & Son Ltd.) . The S iwans of for love to your brothers and sisters. North Africa believed that if a ma n could slip his semen into the food of a favored Little b ell of love, I ask you to speak woman, this woman would fall in love with softly and draw to me someone who hjm (Patterns of Sexual Behavior, by C. Ford listens. and F. Beach, p. 101). - Earth Power by Scott C u nningham The book The Satanic Witch, by Anton LaVey, tells how the gingerbread man was Another method mentioned by Cunning- o n ce used as a po pular Jove potion. The ham was a love binding wh ere one takes a gingerbread man was made as a replica of small p iece of clothing from one's lover, ties

LOVE POTIONS 156 L UST M U RD ER it together with a p iece of one's own Oil based lubricants are preferred for clothing, and hides it in a safe place. masturbation, anal sex (without condoms), and latex gloves (the la tex o n gloves is (See also APHRODISIACS, CHARMS, FER- thicker and can withstand the deterioration TILITY RITES and RELICS) caused by oil b etter than condoms) because it doesn't dry out as fast as the water based LUBRICANTS Men and women both type. Petroleum gels and mineral oil are not secrete a natural lubricant to facilitate inter- carcinogenic but they trap yeast and bac- course. Male lubricant is in the form of pre- teria in the vagina. Glycerine is a safe lubri- ejaculate and the female's is r eleased from cant. the walls of the vagina during arousal. There are moisturizer s specially formu- Saliva is used most often as a supplement lated for older women or those who no for gen ital lubricants and serves to titillate longer produce a satisfying amount of nat- the breasts, ears, mouth, and body as well. ural vaginal lu bricant. One recommended in The longest lasting but least common body medical journals is REPLENS which lubri- lubricant is nasal mucous. This is generally cates for up to thre e days with only one used during masturbation rather than with a application. CAUTION: Some people use partner. special chemi cal lubricants such as T iger Balm or Vicks in seriou s sex play to create Other lubricants may be purchased at sex intense sensations . These can cause tin gling, video stores, S/M leather outlets, pharma- burning, or numbness. People use a small cies, and through catalogues. The important portio n on a small area of mucosa! tissue criteri a fo r lubricants is tha t only water before proceeding to rub over the genital based lubricants are used with rubber prod- area. Many of these chemicals can feel plea- ucts such as condoms or dildos. This is surable on o ne person and yet cause because oil will deteriorate rubber an d can extreme burning or itching on an other. cau se a condom to break,during coitus. People who find the se nsation is too intense often dilute it by mixing the chemical with a The most recommended water based plain lubricant until the desired sen sation is lubricant is a polyethylene oxide called obtained. A condom can also confin e these Slippery Stuff which was originally invented effects to the person who enjoys them fo r scuba divers to get into their wet su its. (Communication w ith Wayn e Cooper, When used without condoms this lubricant Ph.D.). Soap is som etimes used for lubrica- is so slippery that it reduces vaginal friction tion but often abrades the deli cate gen ital to the p oint that many men are able to stay tissue. erect fo r an extended period o f tim e. Another popular water-based lubricant is (See also INUNCTION, MASSAGE and SAFE Astroglide. It is clear, odorless, and taste- SEX) less. Probe is a lubricant that was fo rm u- lated to resemble our n atural sexual LUST MURDER (Dacno lagnomania, lubricants . Erotop h onophilia, Sex u al sadis t killer; Lagnonector-person who kills in order to Flavored gels such as Joy Jelly are also have sex with corpse) The p rimary cause of popular; it comes in blueberry, strawberry, mo st murd ers is anger and where some orange, and lemon-lime. Other gels are wou ld direct it toward the p erson r es pon - available that a re designed to numb the sen - sible, others transfer their aggressive sations of the p enis so that a m an can stay behavior or sadism to a stranger. erect longer. H owever, for som e men the numbing effect causes them to lose the ir There are two famous cases of lus t erection. murder. One was of G illes de Rais, born in 1404 . H e was the Marshal of France under Some gels and lotions contain glycerin King Charles VII and the L ieutenant and which warms up when exposed to the protector of Joan of Arc. After an unsuc- carbon dioxide in a partner's breath . cessful attempt to rescue Joan from torture Sodium hydroxide is a lye which leaves a and burning, he became bitter and vengeful bad taste; it is added to adj ust the pH bal- ance of the lotion . P ropylene glycol also adjusts the pH but without the bitter flavor.

LUST MURDER 157 LUST MURDER against the God who allowed her death. the John Wayne Gacy case, reveals the fol- Gilles soon squandered his fortune and lowing information about a lu st murderer's elicited aid from alchem ists and magicians victims. \" The killer's victims were usually of in his attempt to convert base m etals to the same sex, in the same age group and gold. After m any failures , he became shared many similar physical characteristics. involved with black magic, convinced that Theodore Bundy murdered young college committi ng gross deeds would enable him wome n with dark hair parted in tl1e middle; to enter into a pact with the Devil to restore Gacy's victims were you ng men or adoles- his wealth. Gilles began a reign of terror cents; the Atlan ta m urders all involved wherein he strangled and slit the throats of young black childr en; the ' Nigh t Stalker' in nearly 800 boys, performing coitus interfer- Los Angeles focused on occup ants of h omes m oris, mutilation, vamp1nsm, and painted white or yellow and located near a necrosadism. H e was finally brought to trial freewa y. The existence of this kind of sim i- in 1440 and sentenced to death by strangu- larit y among victims seems to indicate that lation. Two hundred years later the the killer's victim has been in vested with a Countess Elisabeth Bathory of Hungary personal, intimate-and d elusional- murdered approximately 600 girls. She kept meaning fo r the murderer. The victim, far them shackled in a dungeon, bled them, and from b eing a random encou n ter fo r the then bathed in their blood in the belief that murderer, seems far closer to being an it would restore her youth . U pon finishing o bj ect of h is compulsi ve desires\" (\"The these baths she p referred to have her slaves serial and mass murderer: patterns, d iffer- lick the blood fr om her body in stead of entiation, p athology\" by Richard G. using a roug h towel (Perverse Crimes in Rappaport, M.D. , American J ournal of H istory, by R.E.L. Masters and Eduard Lea, Forensic Psychiatry: Vol IX, N o 1, 1988, pp. pp. 23-30). 39-48). Lust murderers sometimes have a partic- Orgasm s achieved by these murderers ular fetish or ritual they perform. Recently, may occur due to masturbation, frottage, or a fetish lust murderer was apprehended in can be spontaneous. Many of these men Oregon. T his man would p ick up young either carry a part of the clothing or body prostitutes, kill them, chop off their feet, with them or later return to the site of the and carry one foot with him. T his ritual murder and masturbate. brought about his conviction when police discovered a metal shoe buckle in his wood Rappaport (cited above) explains the stove matching the one belonging to a reason behind this compulsion. \" Murder recent victim. then represents a compulsive attempt to solve an internal conflict, the repet ition evi- Many lust murderers begin torturing ani- dencing that there is no lasting benefit from mals as children. Eventually these acts lose killing as a method of resolving the internal their original intensity and the person begins conflict. Some researchers maintain that the attacking people. Some murderers pride motivating force involved in these repetitive themselves on humanely strangling their violent acts is p leasure. The a u t h o r 's victim before proceeding with torture or [R appaport's] view is that the quest fo r mutilation. O thers photograph or tape the relief of pain (the inn er, unresolvable tur- torture and screaming to use for their own moil) is the essential dynamic which im pels excitement later. A lust m urderer also the m urderer to reenact his bizarre and derives sexual release from killing and for furious crimes .\" this reason the victims are generally people the murderer finds sexually attractive. Gays There are those who take it upon them- kill males, pedophiles kill children, and het- selves to pass judgement on gays or prosti- erosexuals kill those of the opposite sex. tutes and con sider it their r eligious Richard R appaport, the chief psychiatrist in obligation to rid the planet of them. Some feel that murdering their sex partner exp iates

LUST MURDER 158 MARRIAGE their sin. In addition, passing judgement on leg and asking women to help him pick up a victim serves to abate normal guilt. CAU- books he had dropped and carry them to his TION : People can reduce the risk of car. Others have run women off the highway becoming a victim by avoiding close contact at night or dressed in police uniforms. with strangers. Some murderers use clever tactics in abducting victim s. Ted Bundy (See also ANTHROPOPHAGY, MASO- used disguises such as wearing a cast on his CHISM, MUTILATION, NECR OPHILIA, PARAPHILIAS and SADISM) M MAIEUSIOPHILIA (Cyesolgnia; Alvin- time of Adam and Eve. A study by C. S. olagnia-stomach fetish) Maieus io philia Ford and F . A . Beach re vealed that (maieutikos: to bring forth children, as in \"monogamy as a compulsory pattern of midwives, philia: attachment to) refers to mateship . .. occurs in only a minority of those who a re aroused by women who are human societies-only 16% of 185 societies going to give birth. studied.. .(Even in that 16%, Jess than one- third wholly d isapproved of both premarital Our early ancestors carved innumerable and extramarital liaisons)\" (Modern Views of statues of pregnant women and goddesses . Human Sexual Behavior, p. 241) . Pol y- gamous marriages were not banned by th e One of the more Church until the 6th centu ry C.E. famo u s was the Consensual monogamy, where individuals Earth Mother of select their own marriage partner, has only Willendorf that is existed for the last couple of hundred years dated at about in Europe and the United States. Primal 25,000 B.C .E. man lived in clans and even when marriage T hese carvings became popular adultery was common. were worn as Mo nogamy was regulated when coup les amulets and buried began to live alon e away from the commu- with people when nity. A description of the following types of they died. Pregnant goddesses brought forth marriage should not only give a historical the world, season s, other gods, and humans. perspective of the evolution marriage has Pregnant women evidently must have at one gone through in some cultures but help in time held a highly esteemed positio n in understanding the small contingent of society. people today who still practice m any of Today ma n y women feel sexually these marriage forms. unattractive during th e last few months of their pregnancy. However, there are a ARRANGED Marriages for m ost of the last number of men who consider them three thousand years were arranged by extremely titillating-enough to buy maga- fathers. Children were betrothed and mar- zines titl ed Milkin' & Poppin' 1, and Milky ried before they finished puberty, certainly Mamas. before they wer e old enough to demand a (See also FERTILITY RITES , FETISHES and freedom of choice. Marriages were entered LACTAPHILIA) into fo r the financial and political advance- ment of the family as a whole and children 's MARRIAGE Marriage is a ve rb al o r preferences were not acknowledged. Most written contract that implies some sort of Eu ropeans and Americans have only been emotional or financial commitment b etween able to freely select their own marriage two or more people. Contrary to popular mates since the late eighteenth century. belief, humans have not lived in monoga- mous marriages ordained by God since the

MARRIAG E 159 MARR I AGE Arranged marriages still exist in America bands, and wrist restraints. These no longer among some s mall ethnic or r eligious ser ve a practical purpose, but they have group s. remained as part of their wedding rituals. Groomsmen we re originally fe llow CAPTURE T his is an ancient form of mar- tribesmen who assisted in the capture of the riage and in some cultures has existed until bride because discovery meant having to the early 20th century. fight. The honeymoon was the period of time needed for the bride's fa mily (in some Primal men, who captured their brides cases husbands) to give up their search. from other tribes, were given a higher status Brides were not only captured to become a due to the courage and strength required in sex partner and mother, but were oft en des- the feat. Cu stom s varied and where some tined to become only one of several sec- immedia tely raped th e woman, others kept ondary wives who were primarily used to h er in a separate house hoping she would work the fields. consent. If she didn' t, a tribunal would hear testimony and make a decision as to The Koryak, a tribe to the south of whether she would be returned to her par- eastern Siberia, have a marriage ceremony ents or forced to marry the captor. Other with a capture symbolism. A groom, after marriages were temporary, as in the case of obtaining permission of the bride's parents, some forest tribes in the Congo where the will wait for a n opportunity to capture her. man would capture a bride, take her into the The bride must not only resist but, having forest while he hunted, and return h er to the been warned, has her friends sew her into a village after she had given birth to a child chastity garment. The groom attacks at the and weaned it. The husband would then appropriate time and in a struggle takes a give the wife half of the game in exchange knife and cuts enough of the garment loose for the child. to reach inside and touch her genitals as a symbol of consummation. The struggle Bride capture was practiced in England ends and they return to her tent as a mar- until the end of the 15th century, in Ireland ried couple (Strange Customs of Courtship as late as the 18th century, in Crete at the end of the 19th century, and until recently and Marriage, by William J. Fielding) . in parts of Sou th America. In m edieval France a woman was not safe even when CHILD BETROTHAL Child betrothal has escorted by a knight because other knights been practiced by many cultures but child had the right to attack her protector; if vic- marriages have been used by only a few. A torious they could do as they pleased with female child may be betrothed t o a male the female. Cultures in north east and cen- child or, as is more common, to an adult tral India practiced a pretended capture of male. This custom survives for many rea- the bridegroom. It is speculated that this son s but is usually economic. In parts of tradition stems from a time w hen fathers Afr ica the older hus band is finan cia ll y captured yo ung m en from other trib es to responsible for the infant bride a nd will pay provide husbands for a surplus supply of the child's mother for her care. In other unwed females (Sexual Life of Primitive areas dowries for younger girls are less People, by H. Fehlinger, p. 34). expensive, and for some financially destitute parents a daughter is their only collateral. There are several wedding rituals that Other factors include a possible shortage of have survived from capturing brides: the females in a tribe, the risk of an older unbe- carrying of a bride over the threshold, the trothed girl elo p ing with an unde sirable use of groomsmen, and the honeymoon. m atch, the cultural emphasis placed on vir- The captured bride not only had to b e car- ginity, the existence of multiple family ried but was often bound in some manner to dwellings (a young girl is mor e submissive prevent her escape. Symbols of this type of to the older female in-laws and therefore bondage could still b e seen in 19th century preferred), and of course social or religious African tribes with their use of wide metal pressure. bands that fit tightly around the waist, leg

MARRI AGE 160 MARRIAGE COERCION P eople sometimes, p erhaps m ethod in some cultures and prostit utio n often, use forms of coercion to hasten a was normal in others, including among the partne r 's commitment. Pregnancy at_ one Natchez of Louisiana. time had this effect because of societal mores. Impregnation could be premedit_ated ELOPEMENT Couples who marry without by either partner. Couples also used this as parental consent are said t o elope. This \"'.as a method to gain their parent's consent. often done when a lover did not meet with the bride's p arents' approval, was unable to A few people today have been reported m eet the amount required fo r a dowry, or to use untreatable sexu ally transmitted dis- had been betrothed as a child to anoth er eases to trap a partner in a relationship . person. Elopements also occurred between These people assume that their d es ired married women and their suitors. partner will be too traumatized or embar- rassed to pursue new partners. (Of course, GROUP Group marriages were once most episodes of transmission are d ue to_a common among members of certain tribes. lack of education about the disease and its M en and women were both p ermitted to contagiousness, o r because of simple care- have multiple spouses and concubines. lessness.) Couples often lived in separate quarters either alone, with parents, or in same sex CONCUBINAGE Concubinage began as a communals. union b etween sold iers and women cap- tured during battle wh o became servants to Today a group marriage consists of at the soldier and his wife. The soldier often least three people where each has a sex had sexual relations with these women. partner . The sexual p reference of each Young males used for the same purpose by spouse is predetermined to suit the needs _of a dominant m ale owner were called the others. A heterosexual m ale may require catamites. As part of the master's property that all other partners be heterosexual. If concubines could be distributed to heirs under this arrangement anyone later dis- upon his death.The Romans, in their effort covers they also enjoy bi-sexuality, they may to keep the blood line pure between them- be asked to leave, the converse is also true selves as conquerors and the defeated, ruled of marriages established on bi-sexuality. that marriages were only official b etween free R om a n s. They allowed for a typ e of Sleeping arran gem ents vary according to monogamous concubinage in instances h ouse rules. People may be left to select where a Roman male desired to marry a their own partners for the night or may have woman of lower status. them assigned. Others, in addition to private bedrooms, have a g roup bed in which A distinction is still made between wives anyone so inclined may retire . There are and concubines in M oslem cou ntries. The several support grou ps in California for Koran permits each man to have fo u r wives pe ople involved i n group marria~es. but allows as many concubines as he can (Expa nd ed F am il y Network mee tmg, su p p o r t. February 1989.) DOWRY Dowries are the gifts given by the LEVIRATE T his was the Jewish custom bride's family to the groom. The Greeks requiring a widow to marry her husband's were expected to give the equivalent of 1/10 brother if the former had not provided her of their property as a dowry. The Roman s with a son . The first born son of this u nion and Arabs also gave d owries . However, would then be named after the dead brother these were protected by law and would and con sidered to be his son . Surviv ing revert to the daughter 's ownership if sh e broth ers who, for different reasons, did not became widowed or divorced. Dowries were want to fo llow this tradition were requ ired often a form of inheritance during a period to remove their shoe and have it spit on in when all property was left to the firstborn public. Today Orthodox Jews sometimes go son. through a similar symbolic shoe ritual. Brides sometimes earned dowries them- MAIL ORDER Mail order brides were the selves. Belly dan cing was an acceptable predecessors of today's personal ads for

MARRIAGE 161 MARRIAGE partners. The commitments, however, were the bride's famil y, sometimes taking their much more serious due to the expense name. Often a woman or her family could involved and perils of travel. Men often annul the marriage if they became dissatis- used this method for finding a bride because fied with the husband. A wife could openly th ey lived in an area that did not have eli- flaunt affairs, but a husband cou ld be gible women from which to select; if there severely punished by a legal council for the were women at all . New settlers or immi- same offense. In some cultures women grants are generally male. If they brought ruled, worked, and fought, while men stayed women with them they often died within a at home weaving and caring for the children few years. The m en who desired compan- (When God Was a Woman, p. 36). Matri- ionship then had only a few options; they archal cultures such as some American could marry a local female who was not of Indian, African, Asiatic and Polynesian their race or religion, become homosexual, tribes have survived until today. These soci- or send for a bride from home. His parents eties were agricultural and are attributed or family often acted on his behalf in this with ecological conservation. They are also case. believed to have been defensive rather than responsible for propagating wars. Today mail order brides are primarily used to find a bride who is from a different MOCK Mock marriages were common in culture. This is generally a match between India among Brahman men. They were not an American male who desires more sub- allowed to marry until after their older mission and loyalty from a wife and a for- brothers took a bride. While this law seems eign bride who prefers a less dominant and logical all sorts of complications arose in more financially secure husband. There are trying to implement it. A solution was soon m agazin es to which men can subscribe at a devised that permitted the older brother to cost of over $300 a year that display ads and marry a tree, thereby freeing hi s younger photos of women from Brazil, England, brother to marry. A similar form of mock Scandinavia, the Philippines, and the marriage was practiced by the Punjab, also Orient. Some offer a translation service for of India. Here a superstitious ritual was per- corresp ondence. CAUTION: Marriages formed to protect the third bride of a wid- between Americans and foreigners that are ower. The bride sat nearby while a marriage entered for monetary compensation in ceremony took place between the groom exchange for American citizenship are and a tree or sheep that had been disguised illegal and carry a heavy penalty. in women's clothing. It was believed that if Immigration authorities expect the two the groom possessed an evil spirit that was people to have proof that they knew and killing his wives it would destroy the surro- spent time together within the previous two gate bride instead of the human one (The years. Ads are not always legitimate. Sacred Fire, by B. Z. Goldberg). Women of any country responding to for- eign ads fo r brides or models face a risk of PATRIARCHAL SOCIETIES Patriarchal ending up as slaves to a prostitution ring. societies developed as people began Likewise, men can often be defrauded by breeding animals instead of farming, fishing \"confidence games\" in which they are asked or hunting game. The care of herds took to forward money for a bride that does not men away from in-law domination for long exist. periods of time, breaking down the social conditioning that required their submission MATRIARCHAL SOCIETIES Matriarchy to women or family. Men eventually proved refe rs to domination of a family lineage by they could not only provide food, but could females. This type of rule preceded our cur- also capture slaves to work the fields. Men rent patriarchal system. In matriarchal now owned possessions of their own and primal clans, women did most of the labor, instead of living with the wife's family, men male infants were sacrificed, girls were edu- began paying their in-laws to take the brides cated, and males moved into the home of to live with them and serve their families.

M A RRIA GE 162 M A RRIA GE Wa r- like patriarchal clans soon formed, these men justified raping the same women eventually conquering most of the farming they were supposedly trying to save from matriarchal groups throughout Europe. the a buse of p olygyny. \" Seventeenth-cen- tury Pueblo Indians had petitioned the The true paternity of children became Spanish government because sold iers so important under patriarchy. Now instead of often fo rced Indian wo men to have sex . the clan providing care for childr en with Some Indians also complained aga inst th e them inheriting the mother's possessions Catholic clergy, and at least one priest was children were fed an d educated by the accused of raping Indian servants...the father, later inheriti ng all his property. church opposed polygamy, and friars physi- cally punished Pueblos who continued this POLYANDRY Several cultures permitted custom... When white Am erican s became wo men to have mu ltiple husbands. the conqueror s in wes tern territories, they Polyandry was comm on in Spa rta a mo ng too claimed sexual access to native women the poor. Here a farm could only be left to and tried to ob litera te Indian and Mexican the eldest son and there was no m eans of sexual cu stoms.\" Polygamist M ormons support avai labl e fo r h is broth e rs. during the 19th century suffered from Therefore, the eld est son wou ld sometimes p eople's wrath, despite the fact that their let h is b rothers re main on th e far m and sexu al m orals were rigid and fellow share his wife. Polyandry was also necessary Mormons fo und engaging in ad ultery, for the survival of wives and children in zoophilia, or incest were executed (Intimate areas were there were frequ ent invasions by Mallers, A History of Sexuality in America, other tribes and th e husb ands had to be pp. 91 , 11 8). away for extended peri ods of time. T he M ongols permitted one woman to marry There are some families in Utah that fo ur brothers, one always remaining behind practice a form of polygamy and from some to provide protection . Polyan dry produced reports the men and women both agree that fewer children but m ore adult providers. It it is a p referred life-style. The internal criti- is still practiced in parts of Nepal and Tibet cism seems to stem more from \"arranged where land is difficult to cultivate. T h e marriages\" rather than the number of wives. excess fe males either remain single or leave Pro-polygamist Mormon women before the their tribe for the low lands. W oodruff Manifesto argued that polygamy gave them freedom and equality. Utah uni- POLYGYNY Polygyny, or polygamy, is a vers ities have bee n op en to wome n sin ce marriage between one male and several 1850 a nd almost all the first female doctors fem ales. Wome n benefitted from this were M ormon . The feminist movement arrangeme nt when the ratio of men to joined forces with anti-polygamist Mormons women was low. It provided women who and, using condemnations of immorality, were widowed or would otherw ise have to worked up th e sen t im e n ts of re lig ious rem ain unmarried a chance to have a Americans to support them in stopping this family. H er do me sti c burdens were al so prac tice. Wh ile Susan B. Anthony a n d lightened because these were sh a r ed not Elizabeth Stanton were concerned with only by other women but by additional chil- equality rather than morals which had only dren. T h e polygynous unit seemed ben efi- been a convenient tool, other factions of the cial to communities where women worked feminist movement were never able to sepa- or had a skill while the conver se was true of rate th e two issu es and contin ued on a those who did not permit the wives to leave moral campaign directed at men and their the house or to educate themselves . female victims of vice. Problems developed among the men in cul - tures where the ratio of females to m ales P URCHASE T he custom of giving a bride was not balanced and only a few men were away at a weddi ng is a ritual th at has su r- a ble to possess the majority of ava ilab le vived fo r several thousand years. A form of females. purchase of brides evolved with the capture marriage. A gift to the parents of a bride Polygyny among Indians was condemned by the American colonists, yet ironically

MARRIAGE 163 MARRIAG E often kep t peace b e tw een two tribes and among many primitive tribes and has reduced the ri sk of the bride being aven ged existed until recently among American, Fiji or escaping on her own after capture. It was Island, Australian, and African tribes. These also used during the change from matriar- tribes also often required that the eldest chal to patriarchal societies. The groom, daughter be married first. T he man mar- instead of living with his bride's family and rying the eldest then had first right o f serving them, gave her parents some type of refusal on all others as they came of age. co mpensation in exchange for their The animosity found amo ng multiple wives daughter. in other cultures was almost nonexistent in these famili es . Likewise , children fared There are tribes that, instead of giving better because an aunt made a more consid- money or animals, would exchange brides. erate stepmother than did a stranger. If the father had both a son and a daughter M arriage of sisters was n ot always necessary he would often exchange his daughter for for the husbands to enjoy sexual liaisons h is son's bride. The daughter would t hen with his sisters-in-law because many tribes become a bride for one of the groom's rela- granted these lib erties anyway . The require- tives or a secondary wife of the fath er-in- ment of marriage seemed to evolve at a later law (S trange Cusioms of Courtship and period. Marriage, by William J. Fielding). The T odas of India had a reciprocal group marriage arrangement b etween wives RAPE Rape was u sed by some Australian and husbands. The paternity o f children aborigines to symbolize marriage. Gro oms was determined b y order of birth, the first stalked neighboring tribes and, finding a born of each wife belonging to the eldest woman, hit her over the head with a club brother, the second born of each wife and dragged her away. Once she recovered belonging to the second eldest brother, etc. the man forced her to follow him to his tribe (Strange Customs of Courtship and Marriage, where he raped her in front of witnesses as testim on y of their new bond. This union by William J. Fielding). was often short lived because attractive wom en were soon captured b y men of other TRIAL Pre- marriage trial p eri o ds are tribes and the same rape ritual repeated accepted in cultures such as t hose of (Strange Customs of Courtship and M arriage, Eskim os, American Indians, Africans, Arabs, and Tibetans. T he period of time by William J. Fielding). d iffe red; som e societies exp ected a trial period of a year before coup les could legally ROMANTIC It was not until the late eigh- marry and German communities practiced a teenth century that marriages were entered trial night whereby the girl and her suitor into based on romance. Until this time mar- could determine their sexual co mpatibility riage had been a result of capture, purchase, before continuing a romance. An Anglo- or barter between parents . Romance was Saxon ordinance in the 10th century per- restricted to extramarital affairs. A woman's mitted a seven year trial marriage, and the appeal qu ic kly changed from being ba sed Scottish permitted trial marriages until the on meekness and spirituality to being attrac- 16th century. tive, endowed with large breasts, and a small waist. Letters between engaged couples no Peruvians encouraged trial marriages, longer discu ssed or n egotiated a division of taking a dim view of chastity. Sexually inex- property and wedding arrangements but p erienced women whose marriages ended rather expressed affection. Parents wh o did were bla med for not having learned enough not readily sanction a child's marriage could about sex before marriage to pl ease their often .be coerced with the announcement of husbands. pregnancy . Indian braves leaving on a long hunting SORORATE This was the right given to a trip would enter a short term m arriage con- husband to take as wives all or any of his tract with a woman to accompany them. wife's sister s. Sororal marriage was common She helped to cook and was their sex com-

MARRIAGE 164 MASOCHISM panion. The game was shared at the end of This is an example of extreme religious the trip and the contract was terminated masochism which would rarely, if at all, (Strange Customs of Courtship and lv!.arriage, exist among sexual masochists today. In fact, the term sadomasochism now refers by W illiam J. Fielding). primarily to the consensual exchange of power between two people whether the (See also HAREMS, LOVE, LOVE ADD IC- method used to achieve this is psychological TION, WEDDINGS and WIFE SWAPPING) or physical. Rape, lust murder, and spouse abuse for our purposes are not considered MASKS Masks were popular during the forms of sadomasochism. They are noncon- 18th century in Europe. Prostitutes origi- sensual and therefore will remain in cate- nally u sed them to hide their identity b ut gories of their own. The term masochism later they became pop- was first used in the late 19th century by ular among women of Krafft-Ebing, th e psychologist, who wrote higher social status. Psychopathia S exualis. Krafft-Ebing used the These masks provided novels of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch to anonymity between learn about men who gained sexual pleasure lovers, or from gossips from having a woman inflict pain. While the and spies. Women wore prominent writer was still alive, Krafft- masks to the theatre so Ebing labeled his acts as a sickness. One has that others would not see to wonder what influence male chauvinism them blush and in the had on this label because during this same gardens so that they period a child, wife, and servant were all could flirt in public. Masquerade balls were expected to endure a lashing without com- organized and the tedious requirement of plaint. The similarity between these cases proper social introductions not only became can be seen in the assumption that if a wife unnecessary but at many parties it was didn't submit to corporal p unishment she mandatory that people not reveal their iden- was being disrespectful and rebellious. She tity at all. Flirtations and roving hands at would also be suspected of not loving her these events provided extremely intriguing husband. A wife who showed total submis- entertainment for an otherwise sexually sion to a tyrant was respected but a man repressed society. It took more than a hun- who wanted to submit to a woman was con- dred years for these masquerade balls to be sidered sick. However, a few thousand years suppressed by disapproving religious earlier the opposite was true. Men living in leaders. a matriarchal society would have found the desire to please or submit to mothers nat- (See also BONDAGE/HOODS) ural. MASOCHISM SM is a consensual and negotiated game [A fourteenth century monk] shut himself up in between two or more people which may be his cell and stripped himself naked ... took his stopped at any time by any partner. The scourge with the sharp spikes, and beat himself purpose of the game is to push the on the body and on the anns and on the legs, masochist to the same level of em otional till blood poured off him as from a man who and physical exhaustion found in an has been cupped. One of the spikes on the extremely passionate love affair. Would th e scourge was bent crooked, like a hook, and monk mentioned in the beginning of this whatev er flesh it caught it tore off. He beat sectio n have felt as devoted to Jesus if he himself so hard that the scourge broke into three had not suffered so much because of his bits and the points flew against the wall. He love for humanity? Submission and suf- stood there bleeding and gazed at himself. It fering can both be components of a strong was such a wretched sight that he was love bond. reminded in many ways of the appearance of the beloved Christ. Men and women differ in the way they view the importance of sex in a r elationship - The Pursuit of the Millennium by Norman Cohn

MASOCHISM 165 MASOCHISM in some cultures, and it is this role that they practmoners, this is what masochism is all choose to sacrifice in masochistic games. about. The level of pain is chosen according Men value sex and tend to judge the quality to the desired effect: for example, relax- of a marriage by whether their sex life is sat- ation, sexual arousal, to clear free fl oating isfying while a woman will put sex into con- anxiety, or to awaken feelings in a numbed text with the rest of the relationship and if body. Masochists involved in heavy pain that seems healthy they will not be con- use it to either produce opiates in the brain cerned. Male masochists willingly give up all for an euphoric effect or to reach altered their power, masculinity, and demands for states of consciousness. sex to prove, by sometimes extreme methods, the intensity of their love. Masochism plays a role in creating a Conversely, female masochists tend to feeling of self em powerment or self esteem. abandon sexual inhibit ions displaying or The masochist faces fear, pain, or humilia- offering their bodies willingly; thus, sex tion and not only survives but has an becomes the sacrifice that proves love for a orgasm or receives love as a reward. partner. The reason people feel a need to Scientists discovered that laboratory rats convey love in this m anner often lies in their took much longer to drown when thrown past environmental conditioning. M any into a vat of water than did their captured were neglected or had emotion ally distant cousins (5 minutes vs . up to 24 hours). The parents. Some of these people use reason given for the labor atory rat's survival masochism to win the love of their partner was that until then he had always survived, because, to them, love and nurturing were no matter what injury he might have sus- never given freely. In addition, these people tained. This gave him stamina that his probably only received nurturing from their country cousin lacked. People are able to parents when th ey were injured or ill, there- gain this type of courage themselves by fore, they may feel that the only time they overcoming fear-producing obstacles . A are permitted to receive nurturing is when person who learns to endure pain and con- they are weak or injured. Similar condi- quer fear will rarely panic or think that all tioning is now considered a contributing fear and pain end in failure or death. factor for people who become sexually aroused by piercing and cutting. These fan- The automasochism or self m u t ilation tasies were discovered in children who that is so often seen in prisons, psychiatric underwent surgery as infants by Dr. John wards, hospitals, cult groups, convents, and Money. m onasteries is a manifestation of primal aggression or fear triggered by anxiety that Another dimension of masochism is that has been turned inward rather than acting it of physical pain. Pain is on a continuum out toward another person. Our bodies were that runs from very mild sensations, such as designed to produce relief from trauma tickling, to extreme levels that are produced whether we were the aggressor or the victim in mutilation. People who use pain during in a conflict. sex often set limits to how much and in what manner the pain is to be administered. There are many private S/M clubs and A simple experiment that often clarifies the these all vary in character. S/M clubs may use of pain to increase sensation is that of be h eterosexual, gay, all female (some will holding one's hands up, taking notice of allow transvestites in female attire), pan- how they feel, and then clapping them sexual, male dominant, or female dominant. together for five seconds. There should be a Most clubs sponsor occasional play parties, tingling sensation that most would define as some give educational lectures, many pleasurable, especially if spread throughout restrict activities to bondage, a few have a their body during sex. Most people would religious undertone, and others are political not normally define this tingling sensation in nature. Acts that look safe and simple, as pain, or think that clapping their hands such as bondage, can be very risky and even was a form of self-flagellation. Yet, for most cause a partner's death in a very short time. Therefore, the primary purpose of clubs is to provide education for novices and a safe

MASOCHISM 166 MASSAG E envir onment in which to practice and having th em close their eyes, place the acquire the skills needed fo r play. S/M clubs m iddle fingers softly in the center of their are not group sex houses and many have forehead. T he pressure is slowly increased regulations against even a married couple and m assaged with engaging in genital penetration during a thumbs toward the tem- play party. Individuals who sponsor private p les followed by the use parties set their own ru les. CAUTION: of circular motions on Masoch istic play may not be safe for some them. Next the thumbs types of peop le . Those who m ay need to are placed one on each exercise caution include vete rans who were center co rner of eye- in active combat, people who were abused brows a nd pushed as children, and women who were violently toward outs ide edges . raped. Any of these people can \"flip out\" if T he thumbs are then triggered by a famil iar word , piece of rubbed down the sides of th e nose toward clothing, a certain touch, and so forth. t11e n ostril s, then placed on the sides of the nose and pushed outward across the cheek There have occasionally been cases of bones. This is followed by massaging the masochists who regressed into what a reas above and below the lips . The chin is appeared to be past li ves involving torture then m assaged by running th e fi ngers and during play and experienced emotional thumbs fro m the center along the jaw bone. stress because of this. Like others who have Last, the outside edges of the ears are gently survived trauma, they may need profes- held between the thumbs and fo refingers, sio nal assistance in coping with the memo- coveri ng as much area as possi ble with the ries. In add ition , if these people continue to grip. play the masochist role, it is their r esponsi- bility to inform fu ture partners of things SENSUAL FULL BODY T hose indu lging that set them off, enabling the partner to in full body m assages first take precautions avoid repea ting the same mistake. to avoid being in terrup ted . Some enjoy a warm dark room and others are able to relax (See also ALGOPHILIA, AUTOMAS- and enjoy the experience out of doors. OCHISM, BONDAGE, DOMINANCE/SUBMIS- Background music is often ap propriate but SION, FLAGELLATION, HUMILIATION, so metimes ta ke s away fro m the personal PARAPHILIAS and SAD ISM) intimacy between partners who may prefer to hear soft sighs, moans, or deep breathing . MASSAGE (Tripsolagnophilia an d Tripsophili a- arousal from being massaged, A person does not have to be trained in Tripsolagnia-arousal from having hair massage if th e pressure used is light or mod- manipulated or shampooed) There are sev- erate. Most peop le p lan ahead so that eral types of massage that will be discussed everything they n eed is nearby. Movements in t his section. There are basic massages are never hurried, and one hand stays on that are u sed to create intimacy with a the partner at all times, even when reaching partner without expectations of sex. Others for something. T h ose using vibrators make are used in bondage or torture p lay. A mas- sure that the batteries a re fresh and that sage does not have to cover the entire body rubber parts do n ot come in contact with or be done while r eclining. P art ial bo d y massage oil. massages of areas such as the head, face, hands, feet, legs, shoulders , neck, chest, Many p eople u se heated vegetable based buttocks, or genitals can feel wonderful and oil for m assage. Olive oil, ligh t mineral oil, they lend th emselves more to sp on taneity almond, or sesame seed oil are best for the and reciprocity. T ime spent on massages skin. Other commo n oils are baby oil and can vary greatly. commercial m assage oils . The imp ortant information needed when selecting the latter FACE The face is often on e part of the is to know th at th ey a re often scented o r body that gets ign ored . The procedure fo r a have ch emical additives. Scented oils often basic face massage is for one person to posi- arouse a partner, therefore some prefer not ti on th e m se lf behind the partn er an d,

MA SS AGE 167 MA STURBAT I ON to use them if sex is not the ultimate goal. customers a n d chose w h o convince the An oil that produces chemical heat may be masseuse that they are trustworthy can appropriate for a p artner with sore muscles. ofte n hav e t h e massage fin ished off with manua l stimulation of the geni tals . A new Several groups sp onsor massage parties customer un certain of the appropriate ges- where cou ples br ing a food dish to shar e, tu res o r information to d ivulge usually ask towe ls fo r the h o t tub, a n d supplies for the woman what he could do to prove he is giving a massage. n o t affiliate d with t h e po li ce. If the masseuse provides any type of sexual ser- BONDAGE AND TORTU RE Peop le who vice she will then give the client an idea of prefer playing or being tortured during what is available and fo r how much. Sex bondage sub mit to various sensory does not automatically come with the basic enhanci ng tech niques such as being tickled pri ce an d masseuses do not perform a wide with an ostrich feather or fur mittens, o r variety of sex acts. Etiq uette for men in a being rubbed with lea ther gloves. massage parlor includes not grabbing or gouging the masseuse and not joking about Blindfoldi ng is used in sensory play being a policem an . Gentlemen ask permi s- because a lighter touch can be used to give sion or attempt con tact by gently stroking the same effects as higher intensity play. the masseuse with the b ack of a hand. People wanting stronge r se n sati on s have These men are much more apt to receive a the ir partner nibbl e, sc ratch, ru n ice chips favo rable response . Un less addi tional over the body, or use light biting. m oney is received a man is not automati- cally entitled to feel her body; he has o nly FOOT Feet are either massaged with the p aid for a massage. fingers or can be caressed by the mouth to stimulate a partner in sex play. This is done The women who work in massage par- by sucking or running the tongue in and out lors may be young, ine xperienced, lesbian, through all the toes; some do this to each marr ied, or profess io n a l. Some are other simu ltaneously . masseuses because they really enjoy the work, others for the excitement, and some A dom inant partner often d emands that because it's a quick way to make money. their servant soak their feet and give them a Many bu ild up a regu lar cl iente le with pedicure. A domina nt pa rtne r may also whom they develop a good rappo rt, and massage a slave's back or genital area while some have even married clients. wea ring spiked heel shoes. (See also BORDELLOS, MASSAGE and GENITAL Genital massages are u sed to PRO STITUTION) become familiar with a partner's genitals during a time when sex is not the primary MASTURBATION (Ipsism, O nanism; goal. Oils redu ce the friction of the ski n and Amatripsis-rubbing labia together, provide visible evide n ce of areas not ye t J\\11anuxorate- m ale usi ng hand, 1\\11aricace- explored. fema le alone, Siphnianize-a n al, Syn cri - bate-rubbing thighs together, Tribor- (See also ACUPRESSURE, BI N DI NG, gasmia- wife who masturbates husband) BITING, CLAMPS, CO RS ETS, CU PP ING, M astu rbatio n generally refers to bri nging LIGHTING, OLFACTION, Pli C HIN G, oneself to orgasm using manual stimulation . SCRATCHING, SENSORY ENHANCEMENT, If this is accomplished with the assistance o f T ICKLING and TOUC H) a partner it is t hen re fe rred co as m utual m as turbation, petting, o r fo replay. MASSAGE PARLORS Massage parlors Masturba ti on is considered a \" normal\" pro- o ffer people \\'arious typ es of massage. In cess in sexual development and maturity, addition, some for an ad d ition al fee wi ll often beginning at a yo ung age. Boys gener- massage the genitals or masturbate a client. a lly first ejaculate between the ages of 10 There is usually a basic fee fo r the massage a nd 13 years. James Weinrich stares that and time is li mited to a sp ecified number of minutes .The foremost concern of workers in these parlors is whether new customers are involved with law enforce ment. R egular

MAST U RBATION 168 MAST URBAT ION \"experiments in primates show that if this tribes used a simila r for m of torture on their sexu al rehearsal play is in terfe red with, the capt ives. Even today repeated masturbation result can be an adu lt who can not or does is used on male rape victims o r in bondage not function sexually as well as other indi- scenes, but not to the same degree. vid uals who were permit ted such p lay\" (Sexual Landscapes, p. 244). Masturb a ti on is educational, pre p a res people fo r sex with partners, and allows The early 18 th century marked the them a safe environment in wh ich to experi- beginning of a two hundred year period m ent with method s and sensatio ns that are where masturbation came to be viewed in stimu lating. The role of m asturbation in Western societies as a form of unhealthy o ne's life can have even more d ramatic psy- self-abuse by the morally d egenerate or chologica l benefits. A new fo rm of sex m en tally ill. The P uritans condemned the therap y h as enabled peop le to re p lace practice because sex was for procreation. harmfu l substance addictions by fo rcing H oweve r, the Victorians were concerned th emselves to m asturba te daily . This act mo re because of its perceived health risks. transfers the pleasure stimulus to a n activity T hese fears arose from books that were that is healthy and one that can lead to an wri tten warning that almost every sort of ail- in timate relatio nsh ip wi th o thers ( ESQ, ment could be caused by men wasting their Extended Sexual Orgasm, b y Ala n Brauer, vita l li fe energy. Physicians e rron eo u sly M.D. and D onna Brauer, p. 48). assumed th at losing semen created th e same effects as seen in castrated men. John Todd M asturb ation is tolerated by m ost cu l- wrote several books, wherein he quoted the tu res except when it totally rep laces a superintendents of an insane asylum as person's d esire fo r the opposi te sex. It is saying tha t masturbation is not only \" the easy for people to become condi tioned or cause of bringing m any of their patients reliant on one method of stimulation . If that the re, but an almost insuperable obstacle in method can b e easily m od ified to a ll ow the way o f their recovery\" ( The Horrors of orgasm through genital penetration there is the Half-Known Life, M ale Auitudes Toward no problem . H owever, if the stimu lus Women and Sexuality i11 Nineieemh-Century needed is one that ca nnot b e adapted in this m anne r bo th p eople wi ll su ffe r. T h e fol - America, b y G . J. Barker-Be nfield, p. 166). lowing c hart ide ntifies a few m astu rbation techniques and categorizes them accord ing This was the start of a p ubli c p hobia that to a c riteria for penile-vagina sex. led many parents to use painful penis har- nesses to preven t erections in their sons. PART TER COMPATIBLE: The case of a young girl was reported in a n Thrusting against pillow 1894-5 editio n of International Medical M agazine where a doctor in Ohio decided to Rubbing with fingers, towel, heel of foot eliminate the girl's desire to masturbate by Use of lubricants, condom, fruit, liver in milk cauterizing the clitoris. W hen this failed to produ ce the des ired results h e infibu lated can on, or rubber genitals the area with silver wire. T hese she tore Ana l stimulation loose and in a final effort he cut out the cli- toris. Adults were castrated . As late as 1897 Ben-wa balls a man was documented to have had his penis ampu tated as a c ure fo r masturbation. '.'Jipple stimulation Masturbation is not usually thought of as PARTNER INCOMPATIBLE: a tool for torture, but even this pleasurable Vibrators ex pe rience has dread ful consequences when Boudoir water spray overdone. Messalina, the wife of the Roman Rubbing against photos emperor C laudius, is said to have ordered Use of fetish object men to be mastu rbated until they either Rushing thro ugh act became permanen tly im potent or d ied . At Watch ing own genitals in a mirror one time several nomadic Northe rn African Douc hes Urethral stimulation Ro ugh handli ng of ge nitals

MAS T U R BA TIO N 169 M E DI CAL SCENE S Some would say regular masturbation helps thermostat fo r our emotional wellbei ng, and one's ability to orgasm by keeping the pubo- can be used according to a person's needs. coccygeus (PC) muscle in tone. This is the muscle that covers the genital region fro m (See also AGALMATOPHILIA, C HASTITY the mons pubis to the an u s. A physician DEVICES, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, GEN- named Arnold Kegel developed an exercise ITAL/ANAL INSERTS , ORGASMS and SEX that improves people's muscle tone th ereby TOYS) intensifying or adding con trol to o rgas ms. These are named Kegel exercises. A person MATURATION Maturation, or aging, can exercise this muscle by simply stopping has several effects on a person's sexuality. and restarting the flow of their urine. T he T hese are all as normal as any other aging next ste p is to cont inue exercis ing th is process and are experienced by everyone to muscle from time to time throughout the some degree. Many partners find that they day. People grad u all y wo rk up t o two or eve n benefit from th e li ngering effects of three session s of 100 co ntractions a day, arousal and orgasm. Disease, boredom, or trying to hold each one for several seconds. an u nrecep tive partner c reates many more The improved strength of the muscle can be sexual problems than does aging. tested if o ne is a man by hanging a towel over an erect penis and trying to rai se it An issue of Sex Over Forry listed most of higher. A woman can place a pencil or the changes that men encounter as they age. finger in the vagin a and squeeze or push T hese include a longer time before with her PC mu scle. An improvement of obtaining erection, the need for more tactile muscl e to ne should be noticeable within a stimulation of the penis, some loss of fi rm- few weeks. ness in the erection, a prolonged period of erection before orgasm, and faster detumes- There is an organ ized gr o up in San cence afterward . T he fo rce of the ejaculate Fran cisco th at sponsors Jack and Jill Off may not be as stro ng and period of time pa r ti es. They me et almost monthly to b etween erections and the desire to orgasm engage in mutual masturbation. Safe sex often increases. Men also begin foc u sing kits are supplied and m any people add to more on total body intimacy with a desi re to the festivity by weari ng costumes. please the ir partner rather than on ge nital Unescorted men and women are permitted sensation o nl y. Regular sexual activity is to attend and bi-sexuality is encou raged d ue recommen ded to prevent mu scles from to the higher ratio of men to women . CAU- losing their tone and to keep tissue healthy TION: There is no un iversa lly accepted (\"Sexual changes in men over forty,\" by theory as to how often one should mastur- S.H . Rosenthal, Ju ne 1982). bate. Some men regularly masturbate as often as six tim es a day wit h n o apparent (See also DYSFU CTION , GE RON- har m . H owever, men wh o masturbate TOPH ILIA, IMPOTENCY and MORTALITY) excessively may risk getting th eir pe nis accu stomed to th e st im ul u s o f t h e h and , MEATOTOMY See PENIS MODIFICA- which can be m uch stronger than th e stim- ulus in intercourse. Abstaining fro m mas- T ION/MEATOTOMY turbation fo r a period o f t ime can restore sensitivity. Excessive masturbation can only MEDICAL S CENES (latron udia- be determ ined individually, based o n the arousal from exposing oneself to p hysician) number of ski n abrasions, bruises, or the M e dical scenes are aro usi ng fo r ma ny. time spent on this ac tivity a nd whether it Ia tron udia refers to those who a re aroused keeps one from engaging in other necessary by pretending to have a n ailmen t so t ha t activities. In part, our des ire to masturbate they can undress in front of a doctor. invo lves needs that may extend beyond sex or morality. Masturbation can be seen as a Others set up their own version of an adult sex game of \" playing doctor.\" This may involve any type of role play involving a character from the medical profession and a patient. L ess often it might include a dom- inant and subm issive playing the role of vet-

ME DI C AL SCENES 170 MIS C EG EN A T l 0 N eri narian and dog. The types of acti vity vary male or two men and a woman, and last by and include simply wearing costumes, one male and two heterosexual females. taking vital signs, giving One's focus is often divided between two physicals, enemas, cath- people and if a ma le comes to o rgasm eteriza tion, sou nd ing, pap before th e female(s), the sex p lay may be smears, cupping, prostate over, if the women are not bi-sexual. There exams (very popular at is also th e risk that if one is enjoying a par- professional S/M houses), ticu la r se nsa tion, so m eo n e strok ing or bind ings, bondage, ge ni ta l probing another part of the body becomes modifications, mock cas- distracting. This ofte n happens with two tration, cicatrization (scar- people who are excited about experimenting ring), coprophilia, shaving, with bi-sexuality for the first time. If some- electric shock, phlebotomy, piercing, lacing, thi ng goes wrong it is be tte r for so m eo ne scrotal infu sio n, to ilet training, deflora tion , having a poor exp erience to stop immed i- suturing, or stapli ng. ately; n o o n e is obl igated t o stay in the Some dungeons come equipped with group until the o thers are satisfied . gurneys o r gynecological tables to assist in Husbands and wives o ften have strong making these popular games more realistic. op inions about which types of sex their Medical games are popular because they partner can use with the outside lover. are connected with the anxiety that many These rules are best discussed prior to people feel when visiting a physician which approaching the third person , and then dis- leads t o a natural increase in e nergy in a cussed again with the third perso n so that sexual experience. CAUTI ON: Sterile pro- their wishes may be taken into consideration cedures are used any time th e skin is by the co up le as well. broken, along wi th other precautions. Sexual positions u sed during 3-way sex (See also BO DAG E, CASTRAT ION , vary accord ing to the type of sex the people CO PROPHILI A, D EPT LATIO N, GEN ITAL en joy. P eo p le ca n be stimulated wi th the MODIFICATI ONS , LAC ING , PI ERC ING , tongue, mou th and hand s- some even use PHLEBOTOMY, SAT'E SEX, SCROTAL INI'\"U- their feet to gain contact with the third SION, STAPLING, SUTURING and T O IL ET perso n. Jessica S tewart, in The Complete TRAINING) 1\\1a11ual of Sexual Positions, includes a chapter with photos of group sex. CAUTION: Safe aMENAGE ATROIS A menage tro is is sex should be used in all group sex scenes to prevent d1e transmission of disease. a domestic arra nge m ent which is often con - fused with a 3-way erotosexual ex perience. (See also ADUL TERY, CANDAULISM, FES- T hese 3-ways may tech nically b e of any sex T IVALS, GANG BANGS, G ROUP SEX, o r sexu al prefe rence . If a heterosex ual ORG IES , POLYITEROPI-IILI A and T RO ILI SM) couple lives in an area where prostitutio n is legal they ma y simply hire a third perso n. MISCEGENATION (Allo tri orasty) The Singles o ften advertise in local swinger word miscegenation was first u sed in the newspapers for cou p les in terested in a 3 - 1860's and refe rs t o sex or marr iage way and couples advertise for singles. Some between two people of different races. prefer a regular pa rtner who is bi-sexual o r willing to engage in sex with a th ird pe rson. According to a survey conducted by (A woman who feels like she is be ing used L ouis Harris in 1971 a n average of o ne in as a pawn or pimp fo r her partner's pleasure five Americans have dated someone of a dif- may resent the relationship.) Unless the ferent race. M ost interracial relationsh ips couple is gay, ge ne rally it is easier for the were not entered into based on this differ- female to approach the th ird party. The ence but rad1er by similar criteria as would domestic arrange ment that has potential for apply to anyone of the same race. The cou- lasting longes t consists of same sex partners, p les who d eliberately select a p a rtne r of followed by two bi-sexual women and a another race d o so for reasons such as sexual novelty or the appeal o f submissive

MISCEGENATION 171 MISCE GENAT IO N women from other cultu res. In America it is created prejudices against blacks, white comm on for some young cau casian girls ro slave owners were sexually attracted to their seek out black boyfriends as part of a larger black slaves. The legal system u nfortu nately pattern of breaking away from their p arents' supported sexual harassment and subjuga- tion of b lac k wome n, n ot on ly during values. T his is especially true if slavery, bu t also after their emanc ipa tion. parents a re both ove rcon trol- One of these laws was passed during the ling and racially prejudiced. 17th and I 8th centuries by the English T he men they choose, who are colonists wh ic h pronounced mulatto off- usually poor and uneducated, spring between slave and freeman to be are flatte red by t his and con- slaves . In contrast, th e Span ish colon ies sider it a m ark of status. T hese granted ch ildren of mi xed u n ions their r ela tionships, when based on freedom. Winth rop Jordon, in his book defiance of parents and social While Over Blacl?, stated \" If he [white man] ~ stri ctures, can involve a lo t of co uld not restrain his sex ual nature, he negative behavior (drugs, tru ancy, prostitt1- could at least reject its fruits and thus solace tion, etc.) to flaunt the rebellion, a nd the himself that he had done no harm...By clas- relationships seldom work. sifying the mulatto as a Negro he was in Societal bias may influence minority o r effec t d e ny ing that interm ixt ure had immigrant sexual ideals with the advertising occurred at all\" (p. 178) . media. In the United States models, movie stars, and d ol ls a re often bl ond or fai r The legal reforms won after the 1863 skinned. Even e th nic magazines use women Emancipation Proclamation by blacks wer e with light skin and facial features that could short lived. The right of a black woman to pass as Anglo. These g roups often develop su e for fi na ncial su pport of her hal f white anglo criteria for beauty and an aversion to illegitimate children was repealed. Laws that women who fail to meet that standard. would make concubinage illegal and force Som e m embers of stigmatized minorities whites to marry black women with whom project anger onto members of their own they lived never passed. group, as if disparagemen t is the fa ult of the victim. When th ese people marry outside of T he 19th centu ry saw a continuation of their cultural group it is often an attempt to black lync hi ngs. H owever, now ins tead of deny t hei r id entity as a min o ri ty. accusi ng black men o f conspiracies, insur- lnte rcu ltural marriage may also be an rections, and plotting the murder of slave attempt to increase social status via a spouse. owners they were charged with rape. This Americans have disapproved of most indictment was made against ma les engaged types of m iscegenation si nce its colon iza- in consensual unions because \" it was impos- tion. Marriage or sex with Indians, Iri sh, sible fo r a white woman to freely succumb Jews, Catholics, a nd Chinese was discour- to a black man.\" T he accusation of rape aged. H owever, sex with blacks seemed to served the white men well because it was an incite the greatest indignati on . Blacks, act that even th e most liberal supporter of unlike slaves duri ng other times, were dis- equal rights would not condone. criminated against because of color. This phenomen on was due in part to There are disagreements as to whether Christianity's interpretation of Ham's curse intermarri age to the point of homogeny of his d escenda nts being turned blac k and would alleviate prejudice among humans. If made to serve as slaves. This misinterpreta- we use examples of amoebas, bacteria, tion coincide ntally began in America as new viruses, o r fe m ale worker bees which are labor was desperately needed in the produc- genetica ll y identica l, t h e a n swer is yes. ti on of m olasses (the product that was the first mainstay of the new American F rank Baird, Jr., a professor of science and econo m y) . When the theory of evolution became popular in the 19th century it also curator in en tomology, explains that \"Sex is condemned blacks to a lower status. Des pite an antisocial force in evolution. Bonds are formed between individuals in spite of sex and not because of it. Perfect societies, if we can be so bold as to define them as societies that Jack conflict an d possess th e highest

MISCEGENATION 172 M I SOGYNIST degree of altruism and coordination, are (See also ANTHROPO MO RPHI C CAR- most likely to evolve where all of the mem- TOONS, CANDAULISM, EUNUCHS , HODO- bers are genetically identical. When sexual PHILIA and SLAVES) reproduction is introduced, members of the MISOGYNIST This term is applied to group become genetically dissimilar. Parents men who hate women. This hate is often and offspring are separated by at least a based on low self-esteem and a fear of suf- ?Yone-half reduction of th e genes shared focation or abandonment by the wo man- through common descent and_ mates hating partner. To prevent abandonment, even more. The inevitable result 1s a con flict or soothe the fee ling of inferiority, h e of interest. \" Professor Baird goes on to state degrades her, accuses her of cheating or not that \"To diversify is to adapt; sexually loving him, and otherwise tries to reduce reproducing populations are m ore like~y her level of self-esteem to something lower than asexual on es to create new genetic than his. W e gain self-esteem by learning to combinations better adjusted to changed handle our own problem s and becom ing con ditions in the envi ro nment. Asexual independent from our parents. When this forms are permanently committed to their separation is thwarted or a c hil d is aban - particular combinations and are m_ore likely doned early, a son's confidence in himself to become extinct when the environment su ffers. He will feel dependent on others, fluctuates \" (Sociobiology, The Abridged fear abandonment, and may be unable to Edition, pp. 155-6). handle frustrations. A misogynist resents his The nature of humanity, so long as we partner, rather than his m ot h er, fo r these sexu ally repr oduc e, seems to embrac_e feelings. aggression . People who live in predomi- Dr. Susan Forward explains the nantly homogenous societies, where skin dynamics behind misogyny. \"Mother is the color and facial features are similar, direct nurturer and the boy's primary source of their aggression or prejudice against mem- comfort, while Fath er helps him to pull bers of other re li gio n s, caste systems, away from Mothe r so that he doe s not schools, or companies. The solution, if there become overly dependent on her. H owever, is eoinre~wliens in individuals learning to control th aggress ion, to appreciate racial in the family backgrounds of misogynists, just the opposite occurs.... so that the boy and cultural variety, and to cultivate com- has no oth er option than to make M oth er passion for those who are different or weak. the center of h is universe. \" Dr. Forward's People who choose to add racial variety book, Men Who Hate Women & The Women to their sexual repertoire have dating ser- Who Love Them, offers additional insights vices such as the Ebony Ivory Society that on this relationship. cater to their n eed s. One will also find erotic The adult male grows up attributing the maga zi ne s like Cocoa 'n Creme, Your same power o r need s of his m other to all National Guide to Interracial Swinging that women. Men will also hate women because lists personal ads such as the following: of mothers who emasculated them by over- Hot, white couple, seeking well-hung, protection or humiliation. Weak mothers black men to take care of sexy wife's can make sons feel helpless by asking them needs. See picture of her first gang to take on impossible responsibilities of bang while on vacation... care, protection and nurturing. A major part of healing comes from learning to commu- Do I look like a church secretary to nicate fears or anger without blaming a you ? Thank G od . I live in a small partner. Society condones anger and vio- town...Just dressi ng like a slut makes lence as tools for masculine power. me wild with desire.... However, anger stems from fear of being Black Goddess accepts TVs, TSs, helpless and most would not consider this females, males, and couples for her manly . (Some people can relieve anger by slaves.... immediately breathing deeply and asking

MISOGYN I ST 173 M UT ILA Tl ON themselves why they are feeli ng help less.) MO RTA LITY Th ere is probably no Each person is resp onsible for their own greater anxiety than to see or face death. problems. A partner can lend support but should not b e blamed or expected to mend Seeing mutilated or dead bodies stimu- things. A marriage is between two adults, lates some people. Many people driving not a parent and small child. For people along a highway will slow down to get a who do not have a clear understanding of better look at accidents. Some men have their role and what should be expected of reported sexual arousal and even orgasm to them Dr. Susan F orward lists a \" Personal their psychologist because they are con.fused Bill of Rights\" for couples: by this reaction to mutilated bodies. 1. You have the right to be treated Some couples, surviving a near miss with with respect. death themselves, find th eir passions aroused. Others experience an increased sex 2. You have th e right not to take drive after losing a close friend and in two responsibility for anyone else's prob- cases women who had lost a child became lems or bad behavior. nymphomaniacs. The latter pro pen sity would certainly contribute to the su rvival of 3. You have the right to get angry. a species who has historically had a high infant m ortality rate. 4. You have the right to say no. (See also BULL F IGHTS, EXECUTIONS, 5. You have the right to make mis- LUST MURDER, NECROPHILIA and SADISM) takes. MUMMIFICATION See BINDING/ Mum- 6. You have the right to have your own feelings, opinions, and convic- mification tions. MUCOPHAGY Mucophagy, consuming 7. You have the right to change your nasal mucosa, is done as a matter of course mind or t o d eci de o n a diffe rent in nasolingus. Others m ay engage in course of action. muco phagy because of the implied self degradation, or simply the novelty of it. 8. You have the right to ask for emo- Like consumption of other body secretions, tional support or help. mucophagy can be used to demon strate total acceptance and love of a partner. 10. You have the right to protest unfair treatment or criticism. (See also COC KT AILS , COPROPHAGY, UROPHILIA and VAMPlRISM) These rules are for the benefit of both people. If one person doesn ' t feel they can MUTILATION (Colobosis- castration , ask them of their partner they may not think Mazoperosis-of breasts, Perogynia-of it is fair for the o ther person to make the females) Mutilation refers to inflicting phys- demands. The relationship works better if ical injury on someone; usually by stabbing, kept balanced. If one person asks for a favor tearing, or cutting. the other should request something in exchange (i.e., if a husband wants to spend Deliberate mutilation was used by leaders Thanksgiving with his family then the wife and rebels in battles to evoke terror in ene- might ask for another holiday with her mies and reinforce their own feeling of family-not a mink coat and a new Jaguar.) power. H owever, the flaw in this strategy is This may seem strange or unromantic in the that often those who had been terrorized beginning but it will stave off a lot of resent- generally retaliated. Mutilation in battle ment and feelings of betrayal in the future. seems inhumane but is tolerated by many Equality prevents either person from feeling societies as necessary. Mutilation fo r t h e totally used. purpose of sexual arousal concerns people much more. Jacobus X, a physician in the (See also BlASTOPHILIA, LUST MURDER, French army during the late 1800's, related PHOBIAS, ST. AUGUSTINE and SEXUAL two examples in his book, Crossways of Sex. HARASSMENT) One was Joseph, a young cook in the Navy,

MUTILATION 174 MUTILATIO N who would have erections when h e slaugh- man screamed and fought the executioners tered fowls or rabbits. He would \" then cut who were dragging him to the scaffold- off its testicles and go outside to eat them with a heaving chest and ecstatic groans that and masturbate. \" He was previously dis- sounded almost lustful. As the axe fell the missed as a goat h erder after he nearly killed woman behaved as though she were passing a h e-goat for disturbing him whi le h e was through the moment of orgasm\" (Sexual engaging in intercourse with one of the nan- Anom alies and P erv ersions, by Ma g nus nies. This man's sexual fantasies included Hirschfeld, p. 313). performing pederasty on a prisoner or Chinaman and toward the end cutting off Mutilators often begin with animals. T his the victim's penis. Jacobus X refers only to was particula rly true in the past when many Joseph's childhood molestation by an older people killed their own game or fowl. Case brother as an explanation for his interest in studies often do not include reference to mutilating male organs. The next case study prior zoophilia in these instances b u t this was of a d octor who became aroused when may be due to the au tomatic death penalty performing au topsies which included dis- most societies imposed and thus the victim 's secting penises. He transferred to a hospital understandable hesitance in admitting to it. that served sailors and con victs because he Another facto r is that masturbation gener- detested working on females . This doctor ally took place only after mutilation and and his bi-sexual lover fo und it amusing to without penetration of the animal, therefore take these di smembered organs an d slip courts did not view this as falling into their them into the beds of unsuspecting prosti- normal definition of zoophilia. tutes who quite often suffered violent conse- quences when their horrifie d clients Men who a re homosexu al will most often discovered these under the sheets. Jacobus mutilate those of the same sex, heterosex- X did not offer an explanation as to what uals mutilate those of the opposite sex, and might have led to this man's strange arousal. pedophiles mutilate children. Hirschfeld even mentioned men damaging statues but W hile rare ly performing mu ti lation did not specify as to whether they had a his- themselves, the re are several examples of tory of engaging in agalmatophilia. women who were aroused by viewing it. D uring the 19 19 Sparticist uprising in Severe stress, such as the threat of losin g Berlin, Hirschfeld wrote that he \"accompa- a lover or arguments with the family, some- nied a wo m an to the mortuary wh ere, times leads to the person en tering a state of among hundreds of bodies, some of which mind wh ere reason and compassion are were shockin gly mutilated or had their oversh adowed by a blind desire to mutila te. throats slit, we discovered her son .. .In the In norma l confro ntations on e an imal or identificati o n h all a n e ndless str eam of human will halt their attack when they see people, mainly women, were filing past the submission, pain, or injury in the same un identified b odies and an attendant who sp ecies. This may come in the form of tears, knew me called my attention to some girls an expression of sadness, o r remorse. who had for several days continually H owever, for those who either feel justified rejoined the queue, evidently because they in severely punishing the victim or wh o are could n ot tear the mselves away from the not capable of the sensitivity required to sight of the male bodies which lay, entirely empathize with emotiona l expressions of stripped, before them ...The expression on pain or surrender, a physical manifestation their faces was similar to that with which I of in jury is necessary. T hese people are had seen the women of Madr id and Seville ofte n ph ysica ll y abused as c h ildren to a watch the bull-fighters in the ring.\" Then degree that leaves them emotionally numb. H irschfeld compared this to an execu tion he Expressions of emotional pain in others do had attended a few years earli er. \" N ext to not register with them because they cannot me stood the State Attorney's wife, who fol- relate to something they have no m emory lowed the horribl e sce ne-the cond emned feeling; these people only recognize pain caused by physical injury. D r. Loren Roth described several characteristics that violent

MUT I LATION 175 NARCISSISM prisoners had in commo n . \"The violent corpse, fall into this category also. One case prisoners ... had missing, alcoholic, crim- involved a male who had been almost blind inal, or abusive fath ers ... were age 12 or since birth. H e was com pensated fo r his loss under at fi rst arrest . .. [and] had attempted of sight with enhanced smell and touch. He s uici de o r se lf- mut il ation\" (Cli11ical confessed to wanting to mutilate, wallow in, Treatment of the Violelll Person, ed ited by and eat a person. H e was only able to fi nd Loren H . Roth, p. 219) . A person wh o does animals. Atte m pts to co nvince h is g rand- not learn to feel emoti onal pain cannot feel m other to leave him he r body were un suc- remorse or guilt for th eir actions. ces s fu I. His m os t co mmon behav ior consisted of searching for garbage and (See also ACTOMASOCH ISM, CASTRA- eating feces (Perverse Sex Crimes in Hisw1y, p. 130). TIO i, EXECUT IO rs, LUST MURDER, It is possible th at some mysoph ilcs have MASOCHISM, PAR.APH ILIAS and SADISM ) increased sensitivity to ph eromones th at are produced in body excre ments. MYSOPHILIA M yso philia r efers to becoming aroused by smell ing, chewing, or Underwear is occasionally ta ke n off a rubbing against a foul smelling soiled jock partner in bondage and used in place of a strap, pair of panties, menstrual pad, bra, or gag. Fake excretions are safe when made other object. The most common secretions from things such as peanur butter, mayon- naise, or ketchup. These are sm eared on to used are genital the underwear or body. discharges, me n- s trual blood, Feti sh magazines ca r ry ads that offer feces, and milk. photos, videos, and, recen tly, wo rn and L ocker rooms unwashed panties. CAUTION: Ingestio n or provide abund ant exposure to body secretio n s of other p er- odo rs for the son s is not considered a safe sex practice. mysophile, who often pilfers used (Sec nlso COCKTAI LS, COP ROPHAG Y, jock st raps. Necrophi les who prefer PHE R01v\\O NES, SALIROP HILIA, SHOWERS decaying fle sh, as opposed to a fresh and CROPHI LIA) N NARCISSISM (Autoph ilia, Ipserotic) tim es as not only symbolizing self-love, but Tarcissists derive sexual gratification from abstinence, morality, masochism, sadism, fetishism, and the use of dildos. their own bodies or intellect. The term is a derivati ve from the m ythological Greek N arcissism is considered n ormal in the character named Narcissu s who was known early development stages of youth, but not for his beauty. Echo, a nymph, fell in love up on maturity. The types of activi ties in with Narcissus but because he was so con- which a narcissist sumed in admi ring his own reflection he may engage include was unaware of her need fo r him to speak. one or more of the She was onl y able to u se the ech o of his fo llow ing : kissi ng voice to express her love for h im. When she one se lf, pro longed died of gri ef, Nemesis, the goddess of eq uity u se of a mirror, and r etr ibutio n, avenged her death by excessive grooming, making Narcissus unable to leave the river. masturba tio n, co l- He finall y drowned by falling into the water lecting trophies and while t rying to kiss himself. At the point of photos (often of own death th e goddess turned him into a nower gen ita ls), exhibi- by the same name. Philosophers and writers tio n ism , homosex u ality, and attrac tio n to have si nce interpreted the myth at vari ou s partners becau se of similarity to oneself. A

NA RCISSISM 176 NECRO PHILIA few Narciss ists have gone to even more on the bus, he spotted a young woman who extreme measures, such as being aroused by had la rge nostrils. Infatuated, he followed listening to their own stomach noises, passing her home and proposed marriage on the gas, pe rfo rmi ng autofellatio, and dr inking spot. She refused and when he continued to their own urin e or semen. CAUTION: come to her home she had him arrested Narcissism can cause a breakdown in bonds (Sexual Anomalies and Perversions by be tween fami ly a nd friends. These bonds Magnus H irschfeld, pp. 411 , 551-2). give meaning to life, a sense of worth, secu- rity, and love. People sometimes use nasolingus (licking or sucking nose) as a substitute penis during (See also LOVE and LOVE ADDICTI01 interco u rse , occasio nall y as ki ng t heir partner to blow their nose in simulation of NARRATOPHILIA (Selgolalia, Lag- an ejacu lation. C AUTION: This is consid- nolalia; C unnilalia-talk about female geni- ered an ac tivity t hat exposes a partner to the ta ls, Gymn ocryptosis-females ta lking body secretions of another and is therefore about sex li fe of h usbands, Medo lali a- not considered a safe sex practice. about penis, Moriaphilia-jokes, Phallolalia-talk about penis) Narratophilia (See also ANAL SEX, AXILL!SM, LAC- (na rrare: narrate; p hilia: attach ment to) TAPI-IILIA, OCULOPHILIA, ODONTOPH IL!A, refers to those who are aroused by telling PHALLOPHILIA, TESTICLES and YO I WOR- sexual stories or jokes or reading love poems SHIP) or novels that include material with a sexual content to a sex partner. NECROPHILIA (Necrocoitus-penetra- tion of co r pse, Necroch les is-sex w ith (See also AGREXO PHILIA, CONFESSIONS, corpse) Necrophilia (necro: corpse; philia: COP ROLALIA , HUMILIATI ON, JACT ITA- attachment) is defi ned as an e rotic attra c- Tl0_1, OBSCENE PI-IONE CALLS and PHONE tion to corpses and is considered a rare SEX) paraphilia. NASOPHILIA Nasoph ilia (n aso: nose, The necrophile ofte n views the corpse as p hilia: attachment to) refers to arousal from having a personality which is pure a nd inca- the sight, touch, act of licking, or su cking a pable of heartless acts (e.g. rejection). partner's nose. The reaso n s peop le are Necrophiles often choose a profession that enamored with this activity varies. Eskim os allows them free access to thei r love objects. rub noses when greeting others and Sioux A Greek historian, Herod otu s, in writin g Indians traditionally rub noses to express about a ncient Egypt said: \"As fa r as co n - affection; they do this just as other cultures cerns the noble ladies, their bodies are not kiss on the lips. im mediately given to the embal mers, espe- ciall y those who were of great beauty an d Magnus Hirsch feld rela ted the case of a who attracted great attention during their young writer who made wax noses and put lifetime, but were given them three or fo ur them over his own, ad mired h imself in the days aft e r death. T h ese preca u tions a re mirror, and with a \"slight manual manipula- taken because it is feared the embalmers will tio n he bro ugh t abou t a n ejac ul ation.\" viola te the corpse .\" At one time a fiance in Another would hire a gay prostitute, take India was required to deflower his future him home, and having placed a wooden clip bride if she died before the wedding. The on his nose had the prostitute pull on an g irl could not be crema ted until this ritual attached string while saying \" I hope this was carried out in front of the village priest n ose is going to be so big that everybody (Perverse Crimes in History by R.E.L. will be surprised at it.\" This was necessary Masters, p. 174). to induce orgasm. Another man became fix - ated on the size of female nostrils, thinking During war, conquering soldiers per- that if large enough they co uld be pene- formed pederasty on their dead or dying trated . H e drew a nd kept sketch es of h is victims in order to experi ence the victim's large nosed feminine ideal. One day, while a nal spasms which occur at death. Soldiers during the Moroccan campaigns of 1919- 26

NECROPHI LIA 177 NECROP HILIA and the Russo-Turkish war were violated in used with considerable success in treating this way on the battlefield (Perverse Crimes other paraph ilias, especially p edophilia, at in Hist01y, pp. 11 3, 204). the Sexual Diso rders Clinic at The Johns H opkins Medical Institutions as well as A current case study of a necrophile was other clinics. The patient was started on submitted at the Eighth World Congress for weekly 500m g intramuscular injections of Sexology in Heidelberg, West Germany D epo-Provera and continued to receive Gune 14-20, 1987) by H. Martin Malin, intensive individual psychotherapy. Within Ph.D., FACCS . The patient was brought t o three weeks, he reported that for the first his attention and that of his colleague, Dr. time in his entire life he felt that he had Jackie Davison, after having been arrested some chance of getting his sexuality under for photographing partially n ude children control, rather than being at its mercy. Our posing dead in a coffin. Other photos were treatment plan for him was based upon con- fou nd with models or corpses \"on tinuing his D epo-Provera as an adjunct to embalming tables, in caskets, and in shrine- long-term psychotherapy aimed at helping like natural settings.\" Other than children's him make an adjustment towards a more books of Snow White and Sleeping B eauty he socially acceptable form of sexual expres- was unable to find suitabl!:! pornography sion. Unfortunately, our patient is being and had to create his own. H e also visited denied the therapeutic benefits of Depo- funeral parlors and when alone would P rovera which he has found to be so fondle the breasts or genitals of a corpse. helpful. He is incarcerated in a State which, The patient seemed to have a sexual interest despite substantial clinical evidence, con- in corpses since the age of four. He used siders the use of Depo-Provera in the treat- \" playing dead\" as a sexual game with ment of paraphilias to be experimental.. .\" another boy and in m asturbation fa ntasies when alone. The patient explained his fasci- There are many more p eople who engage nation with death and corpses thus: only in necrophilic fantasy. Necrophilia may \"I had to find sexual expression I could live be triggered by performance anxiety. B.R. with since according to my mother real life sex Burg, a sexol ogist, observed that was so dirty. My four-year old mind had to \"[n]ecrophilia involving sex acts with find some way to do it ... I had to find an corpses, despite Freud's assertions to the escape...She practically destroyed me.. .! was contrary, seems usually to b e accompanied afraid of females altogether... so that by envi- by other relatively severe psychological dis- sioning them as dead, they were totally passive orders. Rejection, alcohol abuse, and object and there was no condemnation. \" loss also seem more than coinc identally common among both those committing Dr. Malin wrote, \" To my mind, this case necrophilia! acts and those experiencing vignette bears eloquent testimony to th e necrophilia! fantasies\" (\"The Sick a nd the mechanism of the pathogenesis of at least D ead: The Development of Psychological this paraphilia. With a native 'love map' Theory on Necrophilia from Krafft-Ebing severely vandalized by the forceful repres- to the Present,\" by B. R. Burg, Journal of the sion of masturbation - an early form of History of the B ehavioral Sciences, Volume juvenile sexual rehearsal play - our patient 18, July 1982, p. 242-254) . was forced to devise a strategy to reclaim his right to be erotic.\" Drs. Malin and Davison Types of sex practiced on corpses began to treat this patient with a combina- include kissing, fondling, cunnilingus, fel- tion of insight oriented psychotherapy and latio, pederasty, and penile/vaginal inter- the antiandrogenic hormone medroxypro- course. Others are described in the gesterone acetate, also known by its trade following text: name of Depo- Provera_. Dr. Ma lin explained, \"While we believe we are the first FETISHES Necrophiles, similar to the gen- to use this approach with a patient suffering eral population, often have special fetishes from necrophilia, this regimen has been having to do with hair, breasts, or eating toe nails. Some necrophiles masturbate during

NECROP HILIA 178 NEGOT IATION funeral sermons or dirges as they sic in a enjoyed being mummified and temporarily crowd of mourners. The patient in the case buried by his friends (Urban Aboriginals, p., reported by Dr. Mali n included the removal 90) . of a few pubic hair, panties, and once a tampon as trophies from corpses. (See also AMAURO PHILIA, ANTHRO- POPHAGY, EXECUTIONS, SACR!f'I C ES and MYSOPHILIA A few necrophiles in gest SOM.NOPHILIA) body fluids of corpses, particula rly urine. A mysophil e may want to roll their body in the NEGOTIATION Negotiation, or discus- open wounds or secreta of a corpse. sion a nd agr eem ent, on acti vities to be engaged in du ring sex can alleviate the mis- NECROSADISM Necrosadism involves understandings th at otherwise often occu r sadistic acts on a corpse such as biting, dis- between partners. Successful negotiation membering, cutting, or stabbing for sexual requires that people be free to discuss the ir arousal. Those who mutil ate corpses often expecta tion s and limitations witho ut being cut away the genitals or breasts, as in the judged. The fi rst difficulty many e ncounter case of Jack the Ripper. O thers, such as is one o f embarra ss ment or inhi bi tion . An Victor Ardisson and Jeffrey D ahmer, have effective techniqu e in overcoming chis shy- been known to severe the head and keep it ness is that of using a wri tten questionnaire. with them until decay makes disposal neces- The form is better if it is specially designed sary. by the couple for themselves. The co uple then may enter in to the second stage of NOSOPHILIA (Noso lagnia ) N osop hili a negotiatio n. refers t o those who are aroused from the know ledge that a partner is term ina lly ill. This second stage involves loo king at H irsc h feld wrote of men who fe ll in love costumes and experimenting with toys . T he and married \"vomen who were though t to be negotiatio n becomes increasingly complex terminally ill. T h e sexual relevance became in direct relation to the complex ity o f the evident when upon the women 's miraculous sex acts and paraphernalia incorporated into recovery their husbands became impotent. play. CAUTION: True n ecro philia is not legal and if relatives of the deceased discovered Th e initi al questions may sou nd rudi- this typ e of sexu al vio latio n it could ma ke m entary fo r \"vanilla\" practitioners (people their grief even more u nbearable. w h o o nl y engage in penile/vagi nal sex), however they a rc nec essary fo r sad o- PSEUDONEC ROPHILIA P seudonecro- masochist games . Vanilla sex often lasts 10- ph il ia (pse ud o: pretended, n ecro: corpse, 30 minutes, whereas bondage may last from philia: attachm ent to) refers to sex play m inutes to years. A misunderstanding about where one partner pretends to be dead. The the amount of time can create a problem if sce ne is occasionall y en hanced by having the p erson who is put in to a gag and the acting partner lay on a covered block of restraints for 12 hours only expected to be ice o r dusting their body with baby powd er. the re for two hours and has planned to There wqs a case in Oregon of a ma n wh o attend a black tie dinner that evening. would call ahead to a bordello an d request that a woman lie still waiting for his arrival Experi en ced players have the o ption o f and remain motionl ess through intercourse u sing a safeword or signal. These are used un ti l he d e parted. T he client was a local rather than a \"no\" because \"no\" is used in mortician. fantasy scenes; therefore, a different word is selected such as \" red,\" \" uncle,\" or \"pansy.\" A case in Texas involved a patient at a The cri teria is that it must be easy to nurs ing home who raped comatose or para- remember and pronounce. Two more lyzed victim s . T h e man 's justification was words may be selected to let the person in that he had often see n it done by the n ight con trol kn ow whether to intensify the ga me orderlies (Personal communication). Geoff or to slow it down. T he control words, red, Mains spoke of a man in California who green, and yellow, a re popula r when usi ng this form ula. Some limit the n umber of

NEGOTIATION QUESTIONNAIRE PREFERRED ROLE TOP/DOMINANT ( ) BOTTOM/SUBMISSIVE ( ) SWITCH : T OP/BOTTOM ( ) NONE ( ) SAFE WORDS STOP:_ _ _ _ _CAUTION:_____ _INTENS IFY:_______ SAFETY PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS, HEALTH, MEDICATION, SAFE SEX, BIRTH CONTROL, RECENT PIERCINGS: GOALS NURTURING AND INTIMACY ACUPRESSURE( INFANTILISM( BATHS( ) BODY PAINTING( ) PEDICURE( PHOT OGRAPHY( ) TANTRA( ) MASSAGE( ) FANTASY OR CHARACTER PLAY COSTUMES( ) ACROPHILIA( ANALSEX( ) ACOUSTICOPHILIA( ) STUFFING( ) SEX GAMES ( ) AXILLISM( ) BITING( ) DEFILEMENT ( EXHIBITION( ) FLAGELLATE( SEX POSITIONS( CUNNILINGUS( CUPPING( ) ICE( ) MUD PLAY ( ) SHAVING( ) SPITTING( ) FELLAT IO( ) FETISHES( ) WEIGHTS( ) HIEROPHILIA( HARPAXOPHILIA( HUMILIATION( CROSS DRESSING( SITOPHILIA( ) TEASING( ) TICKLING( ) BONDAGE BLINDFOLDING( CORSETS( ) C HASTITY BELT( BINDINGS( GROPING SUITS( H O O D /M A S K ( T H R EE LE G G ED GAGS( ) SLINGS( ) SLAVECOLLAR( BLOOMERS( ) RAPE RACKS( SPREADER BARS(

NEGOT I AT IO N 180 N IODA H times a bottom can use a safeword because tion of in fa nts by domestic servants. The act excessive u se means that either the chem- is most often p erform ed ostensibly for the istry between the two people is not working purpose of stopping the ba by's crying, or or the fan tasy ch osen is not appropriate. At restlessness, although it seem s obvious that thi s poi nt the two may eith er switch to the servant often de rives erotic titillation vanilla sex or end the scene. from her behavior. Later, t hese same ser- vants, or their successors, freque ntly initiate P hysical limitations and health are impor- the male children into other mysteries- tant for everyone to reveal and discuss. In copulatio n, fellatio, and cunnilingus; and, addition to the normal questions about birth sometimes, perversions\" (Cradle of Erotica, control and safe sex, people need to know if p . 251 ). their partner has any medical conditions of whi ch they n eed to be made aware. If so, The an cient Roma ns open ly engaged in they should also know the medication nepiophilia. They may h ave been originally n eeded for the conditi on or t h e name o f influenced by the practice brothels had of their d octor in case of an emergency. allowing their prostitutes to keep n ursing infants o n the premi ses. These brothels T he next decision made involves the type often kept c hickens and other a nimals for of emotion or p assion the individuals desire the pleas ur e of their cli ents. The u se of to achieve and type of play that will fulfill infants for sexual purposes or to pass time their goal. Th e samp le que stionnaire is while waiting for the infant's mother may divided into categories that facilitate that have been a natural progression. T his type choice. of conduct was not restricted to brothels but found its way to the top of the social hier- The last stage of negotiatio n entails the archy. Tiberius (emperor of Rome) placed selection of costumes, perfumes, lighting, infants in his lap and had them suck on his music, the use of paraphernalia such as flag- penis. ella ti on tools, sen so ry de vices, di ldo es, vibrators, and bondage equipment. Any Asian child p ornography during the item that has potential to cause discomfort 1960's included photos such as a n old ma n is tried on both partners to d etermine the sucking on the genitals of a n infa nt. CAU- degree of pressure or pain that they will use. T ION: Nepiophilia is illegal. It can be con- sidered a form of child abuse that may be People select their style of sex in a similar ruinou s to the future development of any manner to which they choose food. In the c hildren involve d, since th ey are being same way that o ne would not expect a introduced to adult sexuality long b efore person to eat anything that happened to be they are ready. on a menu, th e questi onnaire is not to be used to persuade a partner into experi- (See also COITUS INT ERFE RMORI S, menting with forms of sex that they d on't INCEST and PEDOPH ILIA) find arousing. A partner 's selection of sexual activity must n ever be taken as a per- NIDDAH (Menstrual taboo, Natural sonal rejection . fa mily planning) N iddah is a Jewi sh reli- gious observance that requires married cou- (See also BIRTH CONTROL, HAN DKER- ples to maintain p hysical separation for CHIEF CODES and SAFE SEX) approximately 10- 14 days a mon th . The admonitions in Arulch's Code of J ewish Law NEPIOPHILIA (N epiolagnia, Nepiph- can sound extremely harsh. H owever, therosis) Nepiop hilia (Greek, nepios: infant; Orthodox Jews today who practice niddah philia: attachment to) refers to an adult's do nothing but praise the tradition. Couples sexual attraction to an infa nt of the opposite who have been married for twenty years sex. This was more common in the past describe each sexual encounter as being as when th e care of infants was often left to exciting as their honeymoon. Passion and serva nts. desire is rekindled during the period of time they do not touch. Edward es and Masters wrote that there \"was a rather extensive literature of English and European complaints about masturba-

N IDDAH 181 NUDITY This law supposedly came into existence meth od s. Catholics w h o p ractice natural when Aaron, the compassionate brother of family planning exp erience a sim ilar feeling Moses, was approached by women of the although Catholic couples are permitted to tribe with complaints of husbands who touch. seem ed to take them for granted, demanding sex and servitu de from them The discipline tha t niddah requires is dif- without showing sensitivity or appreciation ficult to follow without the ritual and moral in return. Aaron was sympathetic to their inducement that religion bestows. needs and as a solution implemented niddah. Periodically doing without some- Niddah is thought by some to have been thing we love often helps us appreciate it an adaptation of primitive views of a more. This >vas not a unique strateg y; female 's menses. T his taboo was quite Judaism has many laws pertaining to food common among ancient tribes who feared and behavior that restrict indulgence during that some type of supernatural being was designated times. Hence, the sex act became mutilating the insi de of the vagina and if holy and mandatory during specific times they had sex during this time they too a nd a defilement or unclean at o thers. would be injured. William Stephe ns, in a Niddah was codified by defining this period cross-c ultural study of menstrual taboos, of unclean time as from the first moment a fou nd \" that all but fo urteen of a sample of spot of menstrual blood is seen to seven seventy-one tribal cultures have significant days afte r it ceases. A ritual immersion in menstrual taboos. . . . Nearly twe nty- five water was to follow as a symbol of purity percent of the societies in Stephen's sample and sexual availability to her husband. The went so far as to seclude women in special punishment imposed on any who had inter- dwellings for the duration of their menstrual course durin g the forbidden period was period \" (Anxious Pleasures, The Sexual Lives exclusion from the tribe and those who were of an Amazonian People, by Thomas Gregor, found caressing during niddah were p. 141 ). flogged. The Code ofJewish Law continues with detailed instructions fo r conduct. This rule applies to m embers of the N andi tribe but only for ordinary husbands The husband in that period should not touch and men. It seems the medicine men are not her even with his little finger. H e is not allowed only exempt but satisfy the sexual lusts of to hand anything to her, be it even a long many of the tribal women during their object, nor to receive anything from her. menses. The one striking feature that distin- Throwing anything from his hand into her guishes niddah from other menstrual taboos hand, or vice versa, is forbidden .... H e is not is that an extra seven days was added to this allowed lO eat with her at the same table, unless period of separation for Jewish couples. something separates between his dish and hers . Therefore, it would seem to have a purpose ... They are not allowed lO sleep in the same other than to just allay fears of castration in bed . .. . they may not sleep facing one another men. [in parallel beds], unless there is a big distance between them . . . . She is forbidden to pour (See also ORGASM, PRISH A, PURDAH and waier for him to wash his face and hands, and TOUCH) bathe his feet, even if the water is cold .... He is not permitted lO scent her perfume, and lO NORMOPHILIA Normophilia, coined hearhersing (Chapter 153, pp. 21 -23). by John Money, is a condition of being in sexual conformity with the standard as dic- Irrespective of religious beliefs, psychologi- tated by customary, religious, or legal cally a husband who is not permitted to authority. touch his wife or have her serve his n eeds is soon reminded of her value. Wives are thus (See also HIEROPI-llLIA, PHOBOPHILIA and given a reprieve once a month from being a SEX POS IT IONS) sex object and servant. Couples learn to express th ei r affecti on through other NUDITY (Actirasty-exposure to sun's rays, Alloerasty-using nudi ty of another person to arouse pa rtner, Gymnophilia, Nudomania and Omolagnia- arousal from nudity)

NU DI TY 182 NYMPHO MA N IA Nudi ty is take n from the Latin word compare themselves to professional nude nudus, meaning naked or unclothed. The models or movie stars. Nude resorts rarely, historical acceptance of nudity can be mea- if ever, permit public sex or overt cruising, sured to some degree by the liberties a cul- the fear of which woul d make many couples ture gave to its artists. Mass portrayal of apprehensive of anending nude social func- nudes engaged in explicit sexual acts tion s. implied a lax attitude at least among the upper classes. Ancient G reeks were prob- Professional nudist clubs offer more than ably the last European culture that was most a p lace to hang clothes. They often provide comfortable with nudity, even revering it as tennis courts, hottubs, massage, dances, sacred. Greeks who participated in athletic dini ng, m ovies, and comedy acts. For games, beauty contests, and dances often example, the Ponderosa Ranch outside performed while in the nude. Depiction of Dallas, Texas, has special events such as nud es in European art was common until lingerie dances, potluck dinners, mud- about the 2nd century C.E. T he Christian wrestling, and an annual Mr./Ms. Nude influence then drove it underground and it T exas Pageant. The contestants are judged remained there until about the 15th century. on evenness of suntans, public speaking ability, and their attractiveness. T hey fir st Christianity demanded that the body be appear on stage naked, next in swi m wear, covered and draped in drab clothing for a nd finally in formal wear as an audience of almost 1,000 yea r s. During the reign of several hundred nudists applaud and scream Napoleon III, when not even statues could for their favorite contenders. The National be naked, sculptors rebelled against this law Ms Nude America is hosted every October by depicting animals, where it was still per- in San Jose, California. missible to show every anatomical detail. Parks became filled with statues of tigers, (Sec also EXHIBITIONISM, GROUP SEX, lions, horses, and wild boars History of SEX SHOWS and STRIPPING) Sexual Customs, by Richard L ewinshohn, MD, p. 30 1). Medicine likewise suffered NYMPHOMANIA (Andromania, during the Middle Ages because physicians weren't permitted total freedom in closely Arrhenothigmophil ou s, Clitoromania, examining human anatomy; the Church for- bade dissection of cadavers. Coitolimia, Furor uterinus, Hyperphilia, Even recently, examples of repression Idiosyncrat, Lagnoperissia, Pareunomania, around nudity are rampant. Naiional Geographic, with its graphic depiction of Sex add iction) naked tribes, was one of the first sources; mail order catalogues advertising underwear Nymphomania (nympho: female; mania: was another. Kinsey's 1953 report sh owed that one-third of the women born before abno rmal craving for an act or object) is the 1900 wore clothes while engagi ng in sex. term used fo r women who have an insa- Today there is a growing interest and participation in recreational nudity. This tiable appetite for sex. includes excursions to nude beaches, spas, ocean cruises, clubs, resorts, hot tub parties, Hirschfeld cited the case of a young man and participation in intimacy workshops. who had his marriage annulled after six Advantages for indulging in group nudity are best explained by nudists themselves weeks due to his wife's insistence that he who claim that it is very relaxing, that without clothes they relate to others in a perform to her satisfaction . \" In fact d uring more egalitarian way; and everyone feels vulnerability which develops into a mutual the six weeks of the ma rriage the husband trust. Nudity also reveals everyone else's fla ws and many feel relief in not having to had not more than an hour's sleep per night, as the woman always prevented him from falling asleep by various sexual manipula- tions...she compelled him to engage in the sexual act for hours and when this became impossible owing to repeated discha rges she demanded that he should manipulate with his fingers for hours, until, as he says, his arms ached\" (Sexua l Anomalies and Perversions, by Magnus Hirschfeld, p. 105). Jews tried to guarantee wives sexual satis- faction while still taking the husband 's p hys- ical limitations into consideration. The Code

NYMP HOM AN IA 183 NYM PHOMA N I A of Jewish Law did this by regu lating sexual Treatment in Medical Practice, pp. 164-5). performance according to a husband's pro- This warning seems disheartening for men, fession. \" Men of a strong constitution who but fortunatel y the religious vi ndictiveness enjoy the pleasures of life, having profitable against the female as perpetrator has some- pursuits at home and are tax exempt, should what diminished in the last hundred years. perform their marital duty nightly. Laborers At that time men were warned: who work in the town where they reside, should perform their marital duty twice Chronic conditions of nymphomania are apt to weekly; but if they are employed in another weaken public morality and lead to offenses town, only once a week. Men who convey against decency. Woe unto ihe man who falls freight on ca mels from distant places, into the meshes of such an insatiable nympho- should attend to their marital duty once in maniac, whose sexual appetile is never thirty days\" (Chapter 150, p. 15). appeased. Heavy neurasthenia and impotence are the inevitable consequences. These unforiu- Common male fantasies have always naie women disseminale ihe spirit of lewdness, included that of finding a nymphomaniac. demoralize iheir surroundings, become a These were often portrayed in a rt as water danger to boys, and are liable Lo corrupi girls nymphs who fl o a ted in waves near the also, for ihere are homosexual nymphomaniacs as well (Psychopaihia Sexualis, by Krafft- shore, sirens Ebing, pp. 322-3, printed with the permis- who sat on sion of Scarborough House.) rocks and en- ticed sailors Nymphomania was considered even more with their dangerous for the woman herself, being on beautiful occasion po tentially lethal. The m ost voices, and extre m e cases, in vo lvi n g \" acu te deadl y mermaid s nymph o mania\" were likew ise cited b y who swam Richard von Krafft-Ebing, a neurologist and near boats; all were believed to lure men to psychiatrist who lived during the late 19th their death. Threats of death no longer loom century. in the minds of impassioned men, but seduction b y a nymphomaniac is still Moreau (op. cit. ). . . A young girl became thought to have negative consequences. Dr. suddenly a nymphomaniac when forsaken by Charles Wahl reports the emotional reality her betroilied; she revelled in cynical songs and of m en who have found their real-life expressions, and lascivious auiwdes and ges- n ymp ho mani ac: \" Curiou sly enough, iures. She refused to pui on her gannents, had encounters with the real thing; that is, a true to be held down in bed by muscular men {.') and nymphomania, do not live up to either lit- furiously demanded coitus. Insom11ia, conges- erary or personal fantasies. On the several tion of tile facial nerves, a d?y tongue, and occasions when patients have described rapid pulse. W ithin a few days lethal collapse. experiences with so-called nymph oma niacs and on other occasions when I have been Louyer-Villermay (op. cit.) .. .Miss X., aged told of such experiences by friends or thirty; modest and decent, was suddenly seized acquaintances, they have turned out to be with an attack of nymphomania, unlimited b oth unpleasant and anxiety-producing for desire for sexual gratification, obscene delirium. the m en involved. The inability to gratify Death from exhaustion within a few days. CJ such women and the demands for further three other cases with de adly result by experience have mobilized whatever fears Maresch, Psychiatr. Centralblau, I 871. and a nxieties these men have had, no matter h ow latent, regarding their sexual ade- These cases are viewed with much skepti- quacy-and, in the case of patients, severe cism and Krafft-Ebing has been criticized castration anxiety, not to m ention an for citing cases that offered no proof of unp leasant state of physical exhaustion\" validity as to the women's cause of death (SEXUAL PROBLEMS Diagnosis and being nymphomania.

N YM P H OMAN I A 184 NY M PHOP HILI A M o re co mmo nl y t h e wo rd is u se d by mature in his sexual response as he ages. m en to describe a woman wh o has m ultiple T his p h en o m en on is often cau sed by the partn er s or a grea ter sexual app etite than abuser having been abu sed physically, emo- they t hem selves ca n handle. M ost p eople tionally, or sexually while young. As he ages only suffe r from this condition pe riodically, h e m ay feel infe ri o r o r h el pless aroun d and it is rarely considered serious in itself women. A child offers him e motional secu - H owever, complicatio ns arising from adul- rity a nd a sense o f being in control. T hese te ry or a n inability to fo rm lasting b on d s offe n ders have t h e same p ro fil es as d is- with a lover create emotional p roblems that c ussed in the section on incest. James Leslie lead some to seek therapy. Wide varia nces McCary paraphrases them as: \" .... inap- exist in the number of times p eople engage propriate, self-defeating attempts to combat in sex. T herefore, no quantitative definition feelings of in adequacy; opportunism, care- can b e given to nymp homania. F o r less ness, or dru nken n ess; a ge ne ra l crimi- example, most Ameri can adul ts h ave sex nal ity a nd a callous disregard for the rights ranging from once to four times a week, bu t of others; mental d u llness or d eficiency, and wh en we compa re this to other cu ltures we various degrees of mental illness a nd per- fi nd our sex appetite is low by comparison . so na lity d isorde rs\" (Sexual Myths and Dr. Eustace Chesser revealed that p rimitive Fallacies as q uoted in M odern Views of societies such as th e \" Arand a of Australia Human Sexual Behavior, p . 307). h ave in te rcourse t hree to fi ve ti mes each night. The p olygamou s Chagga of T he offender so m etimes res pond s to Tangan yika do n ot regard it unusual to have therapy that ed ucates and readj usts inap- intercourse ten times in a nigh t; and the p ropriate attitudes about sex or the law. F or T honga of Mozamb ique copulate with three instance, they are taught to accept responsi- or four wives in a single night\" (STRANGE biIi ty for their ac tion s an d learn not to L OVES, The H uman A spects of Sexual transfer the blam e o nto th e o ther party. Deviation, pp. 18 2-3). They are made aware of the harmful effects the abuse has on a victim, includ ing them- (See also ORGASMS and SAT YRIASIS) selves if they were m olested as children . G roup therapy with oth er sex offenders NYMPHOPHILIA (Blasto lagn ia) o ften provides support and insight into their N ymphop hilia (n ymph; young female, b ehavior. Individual counselling for sexual philia; a ttac hm en t) is the love of a fe male dysfunction s or establishin g social relation- ad olescen t by an adult. The idea seem s shi ps with adu lts is also used. For som e, remarkable today, but until the last century addition al therapy such as behavioral condi- the age of co nsent fo r common law mar- tioning and medication is needed to prevent riages was between ten and thirteen years of fu ture digression. age in many countries, including t he United States. H istoricall y, early m arriages cou ld N ymphophiles often accuse the child of provid e c hildren with better livin g co ndi - seductio n. W h ile c h ildren are not legally tions, and simultaneously relieve their fami- capable of seduction, they do have a primal lies of economic b urdens. need to be held and nurtu red. \"Experts term this type of sensuality 'psych obiologic' Early m arriage is not permitted today. (indep endent of any awareness or judg- T h erefore, all sexu al relation ships between m ent) . For example, breast-feed ing p rompts young pubescents and older p eople are con- physiological ch anges of sexual arousal in sidered incest, molestation, or statutory rape. infants\" (Mayo Clinic Health Letter, \"Sexual Abuse of Children,\" Au gust 1989, p. 7). A C riminal labels given this sex act have boy who is weaned at a year old may several caused us to scrutinize this propensity in a n years later still m anifest extreme a nger at individu al to a greater degree th an p revi- bei ng refu sed permission to fon dle hi s ou sly. Psychologists have learned that this m other's br easts. Whatever a child's p er- p r efe re nce fo r a n age group is set d uring ceived sexual advances are they never justify p ubescent development . H owever, the an adu lt's acquiescence to temp tation. ny mp h op h ile often d oes not continue co