["kh\u1ed1n\t ki\u1ebfp\t \u0111\u00f3\t v\u00e0\t ngay\t c\u1ea3\t khi\t t\u00f4i\t t\u00f3m\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t m\u1ed9t\t con,\t n\u00f3\t kh\u00f4ng\t nu\u1ed1t\t vi\u00ean thu\u1ed1c.\u201d 131\tA\tNIGHT\tAT\tTHE\tASYLUM Late\tone\tnight\tat\tthe\tinsane\tasylum\tone\tinmate\tshouted,\t\\\"I\tam\tNapoleon!\\\" Another\tone\tsaid,\t\\\"How\tdo\tyou\tknow?\\\" First\tinmate\tanswers,\t\\\"Winston\tChurchill\ttold\tme!\\\" Just\tthen,\ta\tvoice\tfrom\tanother\troom\tshouted,\t\\\"I\tdid\tNOT!\\\" M\u1ed8T\t\u0110\u00caM\t\u1ede\tD\u01af\u1ee0NG\tTR\u00cd\tVI\u1ec6N M\u1ed9t\t\u0111\u00eam\tkhuya\t\u1edf\td\u01b0\u1ee1ng\ttr\u00ed\tvi\u1ec7n\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u1ec7nh\tnh\u00e2n\tla\tl\u00ean:\u201d\tTa\tl\u00e0\tNapoleon!\u201d M\u1ed9t\tb\u1ec7nh\tnh\u00e2n\tkh\u00e1c\tn\u00f3i:\u201dL\u00e0m\tsao\tm\u00e0y\tbi\u1ebft?\u201d B\u1ec7nh\tnh\u00e2n\tkia\tn\u00f3i:\u201d\tWinston\tChurchil\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\ttao!\u201d Ngay\tl\u00fac\t\u0111\u00f3,\tm\u1ed9t\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i\tt\u1eeb\tph\u00f2ng\tkia\tla\tl\u00ean:\u201d\tTao\tkh\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i!\u201d C\u00e1c\tcon\tv\u1eadt 132\tKING\tOF\tTHE\tJUNGLE... A\t lion\t woke\t up\t one\t morning\t feeling\t really\t rowdy\t and\t mean.\t He\t went\t out and\t cornered\t a\t small\t monkey\t and\t roared,\t \\\"Who\t is\t mightiest\t of\t all\t jungle animals?\\\"\tThe\ttrembling\tmonkey\tsays,\t\\\"You\tare,\tmighty\tlion!\\\"","Later,\tthe\tlion\tconfronts\tan\tox\tand\tfiercely\tbellows,\t\\\"Who\tis\tthe\tmightiest\tof all\t jungle\t animals?\\\"\t The\t terrified\t ox\t stammers,\t \\\"Oh\t great\t lion,\t you\t are\t the mightiest\tanimal\tin\tthe\tjungle!\\\" Then,\tthe\tlion\tswaggers\tup\tto\tan\telephant\tand\troars,\t\\\"Who\tis\tmightiest\tof\tall jungle\tanimals?\\\"\tFast\tas\tlightning,\tthe\telephant\tsnatches\tup\tthe\tlion\twith\this trunk,\tslams\thim\tagainst\ta\ttree\thalf\ta\tdozen\ttimes.\tThe\telephant\tthen\tstomps on\tthe\tlion\ttill\tit\tlooks\tlike\ta\tcorn\ttortilla\tand\trambles\taway. The\t lion\t lets\t out\t a\t moan\t of\t pain,\t lifts\t his\t head\t weakly\t and\t hollers\t after\t the elephant,\t\\\"Just\tbecause\tyou\tdon\tt\tknow\tthe\tanswer,\tyou\tdon\tt\thave\tto\tget\tso upset\tabout\tit!\\\" CH\u00daA\tT\u1ec2\tR\u1eeaNG\tXANH\t... M\u1ed9t\tcon\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\tth\u1ee9c\tgi\u1ea5c\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\tbu\u1ed5i\ts\u00e1ng\tc\u1ea3m\tth\u1ea5y\tm\u1ea5t\ttr\u1eadt\tt\u1ef1\tv\u00e0\tk\u00e9m\tc\u1ecfi. N\u00f3\t \u0111i\t ra\t ngo\u00e0i\t v\u00e0\t d\u1ed3n\t m\u1ed9t\t con\t kh\u1ec9\t nh\u1ecf\t v\u00e0o\t g\u00f3c\t v\u00e0\t g\u1ea7m\t l\u00ean:\u201dAi\t l\u00e0\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi h\u00f9ng\tm\u1ea1nh\tnh\u1ea5t\tc\u1ee7a\tmu\u00f4ng\tth\u00fa\tr\u1eebng\txanh?\u201d\tCon\tkh\u1ec9\trun\tr\u1ea9y\tn\u00f3i:\u201dNg\u00e0i,\tth\u01b0a ng\u00e0i\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\tv\u0129\t\u0111\u1ea1i\t!\u201d Sau\t\u0111\u00f3,\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\t\u0111\u1ee5ng\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tb\u00f2\tv\u00e0\tr\u1ed1ng\tl\u00ean\tm\u00e3nh\tli\u1ec7t:\u201dAi\tl\u00e0\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\th\u00f9ng m\u1ea1nh\t nh\u1ea5t\t c\u1ee7a\t mu\u00f4ng\t th\u00fa\t r\u1eebng\t xanh?\u201d\t Con\t b\u00f2\t ho\u1ea3ng\t s\u1ee3\t l\u1eafp\t b\u1eafp:\u201d\u1ed2\t th\u01b0a ng\u00e0i\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\tv\u0129\t\u0111\u1ea1i,\tng\u00e0i\tl\u00e0\tth\u00fa\tr\u1eebng\tv\u0129\t\u0111\u1ea1i\tnh\u1ea5t\ttrong\tr\u1eebng\t!\u201d Ti\u1ebfp\t theo,\t s\u01b0\t t\u1eed\t v\u00eanh\t v\u00e1o\t \u0111i\t t\u1edbi\t m\u1ed9t\t con\t voi\t v\u00e0\t g\u1ea7m\t l\u00ean:\u201dAi\t l\u00e0\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t h\u00f9ng m\u1ea1nh\t nh\u1ea5t\t c\u1ee7a\t mu\u00f4ng\t th\u00fa\t r\u1eebng\t xanh?\u201d\t Nhanh\t nh\u01b0\t ch\u1edbp,\t con\t voi\t d\u00f9ng\t v\u00f2i ch\u1ed9p\tcon\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eef,\t\u0111\u1eadp\tn\u00f3\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\tth\u00e2n\tc\u00e2y\tn\u1eeda\tt\u00e1\tl\u1ea7n.Sau\t\u0111\u00f3\tcon\tvoi\td\u1eadm\tl\u00ean con\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\tcho\tt\u1edbi\tkhi\tn\u00f3\ttr\u00f4ng\tnh\u01b0\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1i\tb\u00e1nh\tb\u1eafp\tr\u1ed3i\tb\u01b0\u1edbc\t\u0111i.","Con\ts\u01b0\tt\u1eed\tb\u1eadt\tra\tm\u1ed9t\tti\u1ebfng\tk\u00eau\t\u0111au\t\u0111\u1edbn,\tn\u00e2ng\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tl\u00ean\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1ch\ty\u1ebfu\t\u1edbt\tv\u00e0\tk\u00eau ph\u00eda\tsau\tcon\tvoi:\u201dCh\u1ec9\tb\u1edfi\tv\u00ec\t\u00f4ng\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft\tc\u00e2u\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi,\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u1eebng\tc\u00f3\tqu\u00e1\tkh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu\tv\u1ec1\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\t\u0111\u00f3\t!\u201d 133\tA\tGOOD\tCHESS\tPLAYER A\tman\twent\tto\tvisit\ta\tfriend\tand\twas\tamazed\tto\tfind\thim\tplaying\tchess\twith his\t dog.\t He\t watched\t the\t game\t in\t astonishment\t for\t a\t while.\t \\\"I\t can\t hardly believe\tmy\teyes!\\\"\the\texclaimed.\t\\\"That\ts\tthe\tsmartest\tdog\tI\tve\tever\tseen.\\\" \\\"Nah,\the\ts\tnot\tso\tsmart,\\\"\tthe\tfriend\treplied.\t\\\"I\tve\tbeaten\thim\tthree\tgames\tout of\tfive.\\\" M\u1ed8T\tK\u1ef2\tTH\u1ee6\tGI\u1eceI M\u1ed9t\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111i\t th\u0103m\t m\u1ed9t\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u1ea1n\t v\u00e0\t kinh\t ng\u1ea1c\t th\u1ea5y\t r\u1eb1ng\t anh\t ta ch\u01a1i\tc\u1edd\tv\u1edbi\tcon\tch\u00f3\tanh\tta.\tAnh\tta\tnh\u00ecn\tcu\u1ed9c\tch\u01a1i\ttrong\ts\u1ef1\tkinh\tng\u1ea1c\ttrong m\u1ed9t\tl\u00fac.\t\u201cT\u00f4i\th\u1ea7u\tnh\u01b0\tkh\u00f4ng\ttin\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1eaft\tm\u00ecnh!\u201d\tanh\tta\tk\u00eau\tl\u00ean.\t\u201c\u0110\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tcon ch\u00f3\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\tnh\u1ea5t\tm\u00e0\tt\u00f4i\tt\u1eebng\tth\u1ea5y.\u201d \u201cKh\u00f4ng,\tn\u00f3\tkh\u00f4ng\tqu\u00e1\tth\u00f4ng\tminh,\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u1ea1n\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi.\t\u201cT\u00f4i\t\u0111\u00e1nh\tb\u1ea1i\tn\u00f3\tba trong\tn\u0103m\tv\u00e1n.\u201d 134\tBILINGUAL\tPARROT A\t man\t goes\t into\t a\t pet\t shop\t to\t buy\t a\t parrot.\t There\t he\t sees\t a\t parrot\t with\t a purple\t string\t tied\t to\t its\t left\t leg\t and\t a\t brown\t string\t tied\t to\t it\t s\t right\t leg.\t He asks\t the\t shop\t keeper\t the\t significance\t of\t the\t strings.\t \\\"Well,\t this\t is\t a\t highly trained\t parrot.\t If\t you\t pull\t the\t purple\t string\t he\t speaks\t in\t French\t and\t if\t you pull\tthe\tbrown\tstring\the\tspeaks\tin\tGerman,\\\"\treplies\tthe\towner.","\\\"Really!\t And\t what\t happens\t if\t I\t pull\t both\t the\t strings?\\\"\t the\t curious\t shopper asks.\t\\\"I\tfall\toff\tmy\tperch\tyou\tstupid\tfool!!\\\"\tscreeches\tthe\tparrot. CON\tV\u1eb8T\tN\u00d3I\tHAI\tTH\u1ee8\tTI\u1ebeNG M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111i\tti\u1ebfng\th\u00e0ng\tnh\u1eefng\tcon\tv\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh\t\u0111\u1ec3\tmua\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tv\u1eb9t.\t\u1ede \u0111\u00f3\t\u00f4ng\tta\tth\u1ea5y\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tv\u1eb9t\tv\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\td\u00e2y\tm\u00e0u\tt\u00eda\tbu\u1ed9c\tv\u00e0o\tch\u00e2n\ttr\u00e1i\tc\u1ee7a\tn\u00f3\tv\u00e0 m\u1ed9t\t d\u00e2y\t m\u00e0u\t n\u00e2u\t bu\u1ed9c\t v\u00e0o\t ch\u00e2n\t ph\u1ea3i\t c\u1ee7a\t n\u00f3.\t \u00d4ng\t ta\t h\u1ecfi\t ch\u1ee7\t h\u00e0ng\t \u00fd\t ngh\u0129a c\u1ee7a\tnh\u1eefng\ts\u1ee3i\td\u00e2y.\t\u201c\u00c0,\t\u0111\u00e2y\tl\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tv\u1eb9t\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\thu\u1ea5n\tluy\u1ec7n\tc\u00f4ng\tphu.\tN\u1ebfu \u00f4ng\tgi\u1eadt\ts\u1ee3i\td\u00e2y\tm\u00e0u\tt\u00eda,\tn\u00f3\tn\u00f3i\tti\u1ebfng\tPh\u00e1p\tv\u00e0\tn\u1ebfu\t\u00f4ng\tgi\u1eadt\ts\u1ee3i\td\u00e2y\tm\u00e0u\tn\u00e2u, n\u00f3\t n\u00f3i\t ti\u1ebfng\t \u0110\u1ee9c,\u201d\t \u00f4ng\t ch\u1ee7\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi.\t \u201cV\u1eady\t \u00e0!\t V\u00e0\t c\u00e1i\t g\u00ec\t x\u1ea3y\t ra\t n\u1ebfu\t t\u00f4i\t gi\u1eadt\t c\u1ea3 hai\ts\u1ee3i\tgi\u00e2y?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkh\u00e1ch\tt\u00f2\tm\u00f2\th\u1ecfi.\t\u201cTao\tng\u00e3\tkh\u1ecfi\tch\u1ed7\t\u0111\u1eadu,\tth\u1eb1ng\tngu!!\u201d con\tv\u1eb9t\tth\u00e9t\tl\u00ean. 135\tTRAINED\tCAT Our\tyoung\tdaughter\thad\tadopted\ta\tstray\tcat.\tTo\tmy\tdistress,\the\tbegan\tto\tuse the\t back\t of\t our\t new\t sofa\t as\t a\t scratching\t post.\t \\\"Don\t t\t worry,\\\"\t my\t husband reassured\tme.\t\\\"I\tll\thave\thim\ttrained\tin\tno\ttime.\\\" I\t watched\t for\t several\t days\t as\t my\t husband\t patiently\t \\\"trained\\\"\t our\t new\t pet. Whenever\t the\t cat\t scratched,\t my\t husband\t deposited\t him\t outdoors\t to\t teach him\ta\tlesson. The\t cat\t learned\t quickly.\t For\t the\t next\t 16\t years,\t whenever\t he\t wanted\t to\t go outside,\the\tscratched\tthe\tback\tof\tthe\tsofa. CH\u00da\tM\u00c8O\t\u0110\u01af\u1ee2C\tHU\u1ea4N\tLUY\u1ec6N","\u0110\u1ee9a\t con\t g\u00e1i\t tr\u1ebb\t c\u1ee7a\t ch\u00fang\t t\u00f4i\t nu\u00f4i\t m\u1ed9t\t con\t m\u00e8o\t l\u1ea1c.\t Nh\u01b0ng\t ch\u00fa\t ta\t b\u1eaft\t \u0111\u1ea7u d\u00f9ng\tph\u00eda\tsau\tc\u1ee7a\tc\u00e1i\tgh\u1ebf\tx\u00f4fa\tm\u1edbi\tc\u1ee7a\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0m\tn\u01a1i\tc\u00e0o\ttrong\tn\u1ed7i\tbu\u1ed3n c\u1ee7a\t t\u00f4i.\u201d\u0110\u1eebng\t lo,\u201d\t ch\u1ed3ng\t t\u00f4i\t cam\t \u0111oan.\t \u201cAnh\t s\u1ebd\t cho\t n\u00f3\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t hu\u1ea5n\t luy\u1ec7n trong\tkh\u00f4ng\tbao\tl\u00e2u.\u201d T\u00f4i\t quan\t s\u00e1t\t v\u00e0i\t ng\u00e0y\t trong\t khi\t ch\u1ed3ng\t t\u00f4i\t ki\u00ean\t nh\u1eabn\t \u201chu\u1ea5n\t luy\u1ec7n\u201d\t con\t v\u1eadt nu\u00f4i\tm\u1edbi.C\u1ee9\tm\u1ed7i\tkhi\tcon\tm\u00e8o\tc\u00e0o,\tch\u1ed3ng\tt\u00f4i\tl\u1ea1i\t\u0111\u1eb7t\tch\u00fa\tta\tngo\u00e0i\tc\u1eeda\t\u0111\u1ec3\td\u1ea1y n\u00f3\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u00e0i\th\u1ecdc. Con\t m\u00e8o\t h\u1ecdc\t th\u1eadt\t nhanh.\t Trong\t 16\t n\u0103m\t ti\u1ebfp\t theo,\t m\u1ed7i\t khi\t ch\u00fa\t ta\t mu\u1ed1n\t ra ngo\u00e0i,\tch\u00fa\tta\tl\u1ea1i\tc\u00e0o\tph\u00eda\tsau\tc\u1ee7a\tchi\u1ebfc\tx\u00f4fa. 136\tPARROT\tBUYING A\tman\tgoes\tinto\ta\tpet\tshop\tto\tbuy\ta\tparrot.\tThe\tshop\towner\tpoints\tto\tthree identical\t looking\t parrots\t on\t a\t perch\t and\t says:\t \\\"The\t parrot\t to\t the\t left\t costs 500\tdollars\\\". \\\"Why\tdoes\tthe\tparrot\tcost\tso\tmuch?\\\"\tthe\tcustomer\tasks. The\towner\tsays,\t\\\"Well,\tit\tknows\thow\tto\tuse\ta\tcomputer.\\\" The\t customer\t asks\t about\t the\t next\t parrot\t and\t is\t told\t \\\"That\t one\t costs\t 1,000 dollars\t because\t it\t can\t do\t everything\t the\t other\t parrot\t can\t do\t plus\t it\t knows how\tto\tuse\tthe\tUNIX\toperating\tsystem.\\\" Naturally,\tthe\tincreasingly\tstartled\tman\tasks\tabout\tthe\tthird\tparrot\tand\tis\ttold \\\"That\tone\tcosts\t2,000\tdollars.\\\" Needless\tto\tsay\tthis\tbegs\tthe\tquestion\t\\\"What\tcan\tIT\tdo?\\\"","To\twhich\tthe\towner\treplies\t\\\"To\tbe\thonest\tI\thave\tnever\tseen\tit\tdo\ta\tthing\tbut the\tother\ttwo\tcall\thim\tboss!\\\" MUA\tV\u1eb8T M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111i\tt\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\th\u00e0ng\tb\u00e1n\tnh\u1eefng\tcon\tv\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh\t\u0111\u1ec3\tmua\tm\u1ed9t\tcon v\u1eb9t.Ch\u1ee7\th\u00e0ng\tch\u1ec9\tba\tcon\tv\u1eb9t\tgi\u1ed1ng\th\u1ec7t\tnhau\ttrong\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1i\tl\u1ed3ng\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i:\u201dCon v\u1eb9t\tb\u00ean\ttr\u00e1i\tgi\u00e1\t500\t\u0111\u00f4\tla.\u201d \u201cT\u1ea1i\tsao\tn\u00f3\tcao\tgi\u00e1\tqu\u00e1\tv\u1eady?\u201d\tkh\u00e1ch\th\u1ecfi. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tch\u1ee7\t\u0111\u00e1p:\u201d\u00c0,\tn\u00f3\tbi\u1ebft\tc\u00e1ch\ts\u1eed\td\u1ee5ng\tm\u00e1y\tvi\tt\u00ednh.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkh\u00e1ch\th\u1ecfi\tv\u1ec1\tcon\tv\u1eb9t\tti\u1ebfp\ttheo\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tb\u1ea3o\t\u201cCon\tv\u1eb9t\t\u0111\u00f3\tgi\u00e1\t1000\t\u0111\u00f4 la\tv\u00ec\tn\u00f3\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tl\u00e0m\tm\u1ecdi\tvi\u1ec7c\tnh\u1eefng\tcon\tv\u1eb9t\tkh\u00e1c\tbi\u1ebft\tl\u00e0m\tth\u00eam\tv\u00e0o\tn\u00f3\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3 d\u00f9ng\th\u1ec7\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\th\u00e0nh\tUNIX.\u201d C\u1ed1\t nhi\u00ean,\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t c\u00e0ng\t l\u00fac\t c\u00e0ng\t kinh\t ng\u1ea1c\t h\u1ecfi\t v\u1ec1\t con\t v\u1eb9t\t th\u1ee9\t ba\t v\u00e0 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tcho\tbi\u1ebft\t\u201cCon\t\u0111\u00f3\tgi\u00e1\t2.000\t\u0111\u00f4\tla.\u201d Kh\u00f4ng\tc\u1ea7n\tn\u00f3i\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tn\u00e0y\t\u0111\u00e3\t\u0111\u1ec1\tc\u1eadp\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tc\u00e2u\th\u1ecfi\t\u201cN\u00d3\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tl\u00e0m\tg\u00ec?\u201d \u0110\u1ed1i\tv\u1edbi\tc\u00e2u\th\u1ecfi\t\u0111\u00f3,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tch\u1ee7\t\u0111\u00e1p:\u201dN\u00f3i\tth\u1eadt\tt\u00f4i\tch\u01b0a\tth\u1ea5y\tn\u00f3\tl\u00e0m\tg\u00ec\tnh\u01b0ng hai\tcon\tkia\tg\u1ecdi\tn\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tch\u1ee7!\u201d 137\tA\tDOG\tTHAT\tCAN\tTALK A\t salesman\t dropped\t in\t to\t see\t a\t business\t customer.\t Not\t a\t soul\t was\t in\t the office\t except\t a\t big\t dog\t emptying\t wastebaskets.\t The\t salesman\t stared\t at\t the","animal,\t wondering\t if\t his\t imagination\t could\t be\t playing\t tricks\t on\t him.\t The dog\tlooked up\tand\tsaid,\t\\\"Don\tt\tbe\tsurprised.\tThis\tis\tjust\tpart\tof\tmy\tjob.\\\" \\\"Incredible!\\\"\t exclaimed\t the\t man.\t \\\"I\t can\t t\t believe\t it!\t Does\t your\t boss\t know what\ta\tprize\the\thas\tin\tyou?\tAn\tanimal\tthat\tcan\ttalk!\\\" \\\"No,\tno,\\\"\tpleaded\tthe\tdog.\t\\\"Please\tdon\tt!\tIf\tthat\tman\tfinds\tout\tI\tcan\ttalk,\the ll\tmake\tme\tanswer\tthe\tphone,\ttoo!\\\" M\u1ed8T\tCON\tCH\u00d3\tBI\u1ebeT\tN\u00d3I M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\th\u00e0ng\tt\u1ea1t\tv\u00e0o\tth\u0103m\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u1ea1n\th\u00e0ng.\tKh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tn\u00e0o\ttrong v\u0103n\t ph\u00f2ng\t tr\u1eeb\t m\u1ed9t\t con\t ch\u00f3\t l\u1edbn\t \u0111ang\t d\u1ecdn\t tr\u1ed1ng\t nh\u1eefng\t gi\u1ecf\t r\u00e1c.\t Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u00e1n h\u00e0ng\tnh\u00ecn\tch\u1eb1m\tch\u1eb1m\tv\u00e0o\tcon\tth\u00fa,\tkinh\tng\u1ea1c\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft\ttr\u00ed\tt\u01b0\u1edfng\tt\u01b0\u1ee3ng\tc\u00f3 \u0111\u00e1ng\tl\u1eeba\t\u00f4ng\tta\tkh\u00f4ng.\tCon\tch\u00f3\tnh\u00ecn\tl\u00ean\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i:\u201d\t\u0110\u1eebng\tng\u1ea1c\tnhi\u00ean.\t\u0110\u00e2y\tch\u1ec9 l\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tph\u1ea7n\tc\u00f4ng\tvi\u1ec7c\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i.\u201d \u201c\tKh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\ttin\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c!\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tk\u00eau\tl\u00ean.\t\u201cT\u00f4i\tkh\u00f4ng\ttin!\t\u00d4ng\tch\u1ee7\tb\u1ea1n c\u00f3\tbi\u1ebft\t\u00f4ng\tta\tc\u00f3\tm\u1ed9t\tth\u1ee9\tc\u1ee7a\ttr\u1eddi\tcho\ttrong\tcon\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u1ea1n\thay\tkh\u00f4ng?\tM\u1ed9t con\tch\u00f3\tbi\u1ebft\tn\u00f3i!\u201d \u201cKh\u00f4ng,\tkh\u00f4ng,\u201d\tcon\tch\u00f3\tn\u00e0i\tn\u1ec9.\t\u201cXin\t\u0111\u1eebng!\tN\u1ebfu\t\u00f4ng\t\u1ea5y\tbi\u1ebft\tt\u00f4i\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tn\u00f3i, \u00f4ng\tta\ts\u1ebd\tbu\u1ed9c\tt\u00f4i\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi\t\u0111i\u1ec7n\ttho\u1ea1i\tn\u1eefa!\u201d 138\tGOT\tA\tPET\t\u2026 The\tguy\twas\tlonely,\tand\tdecided\tlife\twould\tbe\tmore\tfun\tif\the\thad\ta\tpet.\tSo he\twent\tto\tthe\tpet\tstore\tand\ttold\tthe\towner\tthat\the\twanted\tto\tbuy\tan\tunusual","pet.\t After\t some\t discussion,\t he\t finally\t bought\t a\t centipede,\t which\t came\t in\t a little\twhite\tbox\tto\tuse\tfor\this\thouse. He\ttook\tthe\tbox\tback\thome,\tfound\ta\tgood\tlocation\tfor\tthe\tbox,\tand\tdecided he\t would\t start\t off\t by\t taking\t his\t new\t pet\t to\t the\t bar\t to\t have\t a\t drink.\t So\t he asked\tthe\tcentipede\tin\tthe\tbox,\t\\\"Would\tyou\tlike\tto\tgo\tto\tFrank\ts\twith\tme\tand have\ta\tbeer?\\\"\tBut\tthere\twas\tno\tanswer\tfrom\this\tnew\tpet.\tThis\tbothered\thim a\t bit,\t but\t he\t waited\t a\t few\t minutes\t and\t then\t asked\t him\t again,\t \\\"How\t about going\tto\tthe\tbar\tand\thaving\ta\tdrink\twith\tme?\\\" But\tagain,\tthere\twas\tno\tanswer\tfrom\this\tnew\tfriend\tand\tpet.\tSo\the\twaited\ta few\tminutes\tmore,\tthinking\tabout\tthe\tsituation. He\t decided\t to\t ask\t him\t one\t more\t time;\t this\t time\t putting\t his\t face\t up\t against the\tcentipede\ts\thouse\tand\tshouting,\t\\\"Hey,\tin\tthere!\tWould\tyou\tlike\tto\tgo\tto Frank\ts\tplace\tand\thave\ta\tdrink\twith\tme?\\\" A\tlittle\tvoice\tcame\tout\tof\tthe\tbox:\t\\\"I\theard\tyou\tthe\tfirst\ttime!\tI\tm\tputting\ton my\tshoes.\\\" MUA\tM\u1ed8T\tCON\tV\u1eacT\tC\u1ea2NH\t\u2026 C\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t\t g\u00e3\t c\u00f4\t \u0111\u01a1n,\t v\u00e0\t quy\u1ebft\t \u0111\u1ecbnh\t r\u1eb1ng\t cu\u1ed9c\t s\u1ed1ng\t s\u1ebd\t vui\t h\u01a1n\t n\u1ebfu\t anh\t ta\t c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t\tcon\tv\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh.V\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\tanh\tta\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tm\u1ed9t\th\u00e0ng\tv\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tch\u1ee7 r\u1eb1ng\t anh\t ta\t mu\u1ed1n\t mua\t m\u1ed9t\t con\t v\u1eadt\t kh\u00e1c\t th\u01b0\u1eddng.Sau\t m\u1ed9t\t v\u00e0i\t trao\t \u0111\u1ed5i,\t cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng\tanh\tta\tmua\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tr\u1ebft,\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t\u0111\u1eb7t\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\th\u1ed9p\ttr\u1eafng\tnh\u1ecf\td\u00f9ng\tl\u00e0m\tnh\u00e0 cho\tn\u00f3. Anh\tta\t\u0111em\th\u1ed9p\tv\u1ec1\tnh\u00e0,\tt\u00ecm\tm\u1ed9t\tch\u1ed7\tt\u1ed1t\tcho\tc\u00e1i\th\u1ed9p\tv\u00e0\tquy\u1ebft\t\u0111\u1ecbnh\tanh\tta\ts\u1ebd b\u1eaft\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tb\u1eb1ng\tc\u00e1ch\t\u0111\u01b0a\tcon\tv\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh\tm\u1edbi\tt\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\tbar\t\u0111\u1ec3\tu\u1ed1ng\tr\u01b0\u1ee3u.V\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\tanh","ta\t h\u1ecfi\t con\t r\u1ebft\t trong\t h\u1ed9p:\u201d\t B\u1ea1n\t c\u00f3\t mu\u1ed1n\t \u0111i\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t bar\t Frank\t v\u1edbi\t t\u00f4i\t v\u00e0\t u\u1ed1ng bia?\u201d\t Nh\u01b0ng\t kh\u00f4ng\t c\u00f3\t ti\u1ebfng\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi\t t\u1eeb\t ph\u00eda\t con\t v\u1eadt\t c\u1ea3nh\t m\u1edbi.\u0110i\u1ec1u\t n\u00e0y\t l\u00e0m anh\tta\th\u01a1i\tb\u1ef1c\tm\u00ecnh,\tnh\u01b0ng\tanh\tta\t\u0111\u1ee3i\tm\u1ed9t\tv\u00e0i\tph\u00fat\tv\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\th\u1ecfi\tn\u00f3\tl\u1ea1i:\u201d\t\u0110i t\u1edbi\tbar\tv\u00e0\tu\u1ed1ng\tv\u1edbi\tt\u00f4i\tnh\u00e9?\u201d Nh\u01b0ng\t m\u1ed9t\t l\u1ea7n\t n\u1eefa\t kh\u00f4ng\t c\u00f3\t ti\u1ebfng\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi\t t\u1eeb\t ph\u00eda\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u1ea1n\t m\u1edbi\t v\u00e0\t l\u00e0\t con v\u1eadt\tc\u1ea3nh.V\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\tanh\tta\t\u0111\u1ee3i\tm\u1ed9t\tv\u00e0i\tph\u00fat\tn\u1eefa,\tngh\u0129\tng\u1ee3i\tv\u1ec1\tt\u00ecnh\th\u00ecnh. Anh\tta\tquy\u1ebft\t\u0111\u1ecbnh\th\u1ecfi\tn\u00f3\tm\u1ed9t\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa;\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u00e0y\t\u0111\u1ec3\tm\u1eb7t\tanh\tta\t\u00e1p\tv\u00e0o\tnh\u00e0\tcon r\u1ebft\t v\u00e0\t n\u00f3i\t to:\u201d\t N\u00e0y,\t \u0111\u1eb1ng\t \u1ea5y!\t B\u1ea1n\t c\u00f3\t mu\u1ed1n\t \u0111i\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t ch\u1ed7\t Frank\t v\u00e0\t u\u1ed1ng\t v\u1edbi t\u00f4i?\u201d M\u1ed9t\t ti\u1ebfng\t n\u00f3i\t nh\u1ecf\t v\u1ecdng\t ra\t kh\u1ecfi\t h\u1ed9p:\u201d\t T\u00f4i\t nghe\t anh\t ngay\t t\u1eeb\t \u0111\u1ea7u.\t T\u00f4i\t \u0111ang mang\tgi\u00e0y.\u201d Say\tr\u01b0\u1ee3u 139\tWHERE\tIS\tMY\tWHEELCHAIR? A\t man\t is\t at\t the\t bar,\t really\t drunk.\t Some\t guys\t decide\t to\t be\t good\t samaritans and\tget\thim\thome. So\tthey\tpick\thim\tup\toff\tthe\tfloor,\tand\tdrag\thim\tout\tthe\tdoor.\tOn\tthe\tway\tto the\tcar,\the\tfalls\tdown\tthree\ttimes.\tWhen\tthey\tget\tto\this\thouse,\tthey\thelp\thim out\tof\tthe\tcar\tand,\the\tfalls\tdown\tfour\tmore\ttimes. They\tring\tthe\tbell,\tand\tone\tsays,\t\\\"Here\ts\tyour\thusband!\\\"","The\tman\ts\twife\tsays,\t\\\"Where\tthe\thell\tis\this\twheelchair?\\\" C\u00c1I\tXE\tL\u0102N\tC\u1ee6A\tT\u00d4I\t\u0110\u00c2U\tR\u1ed2I? M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\t\u1edf\tt\u1ea1i\tm\u1ed9t\tbar,\tsay\tth\u1ef1c\ts\u1ef1.\tM\u1ed9t\ts\u1ed1\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tquy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh\tm\u1edf\tt\u1ea5m\tl\u00f2ng\tt\u1ed1t\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng\tta\tv\u1ec1\tnh\u00e0. H\u1ecd\t n\u00e2ng\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t kh\u1ecfi\t s\u00e0n\t nh\u00e0,\t k\u00e9o\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t ra\t c\u1eeda.\t Khi\t k\u00e9o\t ra\t xe,\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t ng\u00e3 xu\u1ed1ng\t ba\t l\u1ea7n.\t Khi\t \u0111i\t t\u1edbi\t nh\u00e0,\t h\u1ecd\t gi\u00fap\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t ra\t kh\u1ecfi\t xe\t v\u00e0\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t ng\u00e3\t th\u00eam b\u1ed1n\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa. H\u1ecd\tb\u1ea5m\tchu\u00f4ng,\tv\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tn\u00f3i:\u201dCh\u1ed3ng\tb\u00e0\t\u0111\u00e2y!\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tv\u1ee3\tn\u00f3i:\u201dC\u00e1i\txe\tl\u0103n\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\t\u1ea5y\tn\u1eb1m\tn\u01a1i\tch\u1ebft\tti\u1ec7t\tn\u00e0o\tr\u1ed3i?\u201d 140\tOUT\tALL\tNIGHT\tDRINHKING\t... An\t Irishman\t s\t been\t at\t a\t pub\t all\t night\t drinking.\t The\t bartender\t finally\t says that\tthe\tbar\tis\tclosed.\tSo\the\tstands\tup\tto\tleave\tand\tfalls\tflat\ton\this\tface.\tHe figures\the\tll\tcrawl\toutside\tand\tget\tsome\tfresh\tair\tand\tmaybe\tthat\twill\tsober him\tup. Once\toutside\the\tstands\tup\tand\tfalls\tflat\ton\this\tface.\tSo\the\tcrawls\thome\tand at\t the\t door\t stands\t up\t and\t falls\t flat\t on\t his\t face.\t He\t crawls\t through\t the\t door and\tup\tthe\tstairs. When\t he\t reaches\t his\t bed\t he\t tries\t one\t more\t time\t to\t stand\t up.\t This\t time\t he falls\tright\tinto\tbed\tand\tis\tsound\tasleep. He\t awakens\t the\t next\t morning.\t His\t wife\t stands\t over\t him\t shouting\t at\t him.","\\\"So,\tyou\tve\tbeen\tout\tdrinking\tagain!!\\\" \\\"How\tdid\tyou\tknow?\\\"\the\tasks. \\\"The\tpub\tcalled,\tyou\tleft\tyour\twheelchair\tthere\tagain \u0110I\tCH\u01a0I\tU\u1ed0NG\tR\u01af\u1ee2U\tSU\u1ed0T\t\u0110\u00caM\t... M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tAi-len\tu\u1ed1ng\tr\u01b0\u1ee3u\ttrong\tqu\u00e1n\tsu\u1ed1t\t\u0111\u00eam.\tCu\u1ed1i\tc\u00f9ng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ee5c\tv\u1ee5\tn\u00f3i\tr\u1eb1ng\tqu\u1ea7y\tbar\tph\u1ea3i\t\u0111\u00f3ng\tc\u1eeda.\tNghe\tv\u1eady\t\u00f4ng\tta\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tl\u00ean\t\u0111\u1ec3\t\u0111i\tra v\u00e0\tt\u00e9\tn\u1eb7ng.\t\u00d4ng\tta\tt\u00ednh\tb\u00f2\tra\tngo\u00e0i\tv\u00e0\th\u00edt\tth\u1edf\tkh\u00f4ng\tkh\u00ed\ttrong\tl\u00e0nh\tv\u00e0\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3 \u0111i\u1ec1u\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0m\t\u00f4ng\tta\tt\u1ec9nh\tt\u00e1o. Khi\tra\tngo\u00e0i,\t\u00f4ng\tta\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tl\u00ean\tv\u00e0\tl\u1ea1i\tt\u00e9\tth\u1eb3ng\tc\u1eb3ng.\tV\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\t\u00f4ng\tta\tb\u00f2\tv\u1ec1\tnh\u00e0\tv\u00e0 t\u1ea1i\tc\u1eeda\t\u00f4ng\tta\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tl\u00ean\tv\u00e0\tl\u1ea1i\tt\u00e9\tn\u1eb7ng.\t\u00d4ng\tta\tb\u00f2\txuy\u00ean\tqua\tc\u1eeda\tv\u00e0\tl\u00ean\tl\u1ea7u. Khi\t\u0111\u1ee5ng\tgi\u01b0\t\u1eddng,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tc\u1ed1\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tl\u00ean\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa.\tL\u1ea7n\tn\u00e0y\t\u00f4ng\tta\tng\u00e3\tth\u1eb3ng\tv\u00e0o gi\u01b0\t\u1eddng\tv\u00e0\ty\u00ean\tgi\u1ea5c\tng\u1ee7. \u00d4ng\tta\tth\u1ee9c\tgi\u1ea5c\tv\u00e0o\ts\u00e1ng\th\u00f4m\tsau.\tV\u1ee3\t\u00f4ng\tta\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\t\u0111\u00f3\tk\u00eau\tl\u00ean:\t\u201cV\u1eady\tl\u00e0\t\u00f4ng l\u1ea1i\t\u0111i\tch\u01a1i\tu\u1ed1ng\tr\u01b0\u1ee3u\tn\u1eefa\tr\u1ed3i\t!\u201d \u201cL\u00e0m\tsao\tem\tbi\u1ebft?\u201d\t\u00f4ng\tta\th\u1ecfi. \u201cQu\u00e1n\th\u1ecd\tg\u1ecdi,\t\u00f4ng\tl\u1ea1i\t\u0111\u1ec3\txe\tl\u0103n\t\u1edf\t\u0111\u00f3\tn\u1eefa\tk\u00eca.\u201d 141\tTHIS\tIS\tMY\tHOUSE The\t Policeman\t had\t stopped\t the\t man\t for\t obvious\t drunken\t driving,\t but\t since the\tguy\thad\ta\tclean\trecord,\the\tmade\thim\tpark\tthe\tcar\tand\ttook\thim\thome\tin","the\tpatrol\tcar. \\\"Are\tyou\tsure\tthis\tis\tyour\thouse?\\\"\tthe\tcop\tasked\tas\tthey\tdrove\tinto\ta\trather fashionable\tneighborhood. \\\"Shertainly!\\\"\t said\t the\t drunk,\t \\\"and\t if\t you\t ll\t just\t open\t the\t door\t f\t me,\t I\t can prove\t it\t to\t ya.\\\"\t Entering\t the\t living\t room,\t he\t said,\t \\\"You\t shee\t that\t piano? Thash\tmine.You\tshee\tthat\tgiant\ttelevision\tset?\tThast\tmine\ttoo.\tNow\tfollow me.\\\" The\tpolice\tofficer\tfollowed\tthe\tman\tas\the\tshakily\tnegotiated\tthe\tstairs\tto\tthe second\tfloor.\tThe\tdrunk\tpushed\topen\tthe\tfirst\tdoor\tthey\tcame\tto.\t\\\"Thish\tish my\t bedroom,\\\"\t he\t announced.\t \\\"Shee\t the\t bed\t there?\t Thast\t mine!\t Shee\t that woman\tlying\tin\tthe\tbed?\tThash\tmy\twife. An\tsee\tthat\tguy\tlying\tnext\tto\ther? \\\"Yeah?\\\"\t the\t cop\t replied\t suspiciously.\t Beginning\t at\t this\t point\t to\t seriously doubt\tthe\tman\ts\tstory. \\\"Well,\tthash\tme!\\\" \u0110\u00c2Y\tL\u00c0\tNH\u00c0\tT\u00d4I Vi\u00ean\t c\u1ea3nh\t s\u00e1t\t ng\u01b0ng\t m\u1ed9t\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t l\u1ea1i\t v\u00ec\t t\u1ed9i\t say\t r\u01b0\u1ee3i\t l\u00e1i\t xe\t r\u00f5\t r\u00e0ng, nh\u01b0ng\tv\u00ec\tg\u00e3\tc\u00f3\tti\u1ec1n\ts\u1ef1\ttrong\ts\u1ea1ch,\tvi\u00ean\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\tcho\t\u00f4ng\tta\td\u1eebng\txe\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u01b0a \u00f4ng\tta\tv\u1ec1\tnh\u00e0\ttr\u00ean\txe\ttu\u1ea7n\ttra. \u201c\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\tch\u1eafc\tch\u1eafn\t\u0111\u00e2y\tl\u00e0\tnh\u00e0\t\u00f4ng\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\th\u1ecfi\tkhi\th\u1ecd\tl\u00e1i\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t khu\tc\u00f3\tv\u1ebb\tsang\ttr\u1ecdng.","\u201cS\u1eafc\t r\u1ed3i!\u201d\t g\u00e3\t say\t \u0111\u00e1p,\t \u201cv\u00e0\t n\u1ebfu\t ch\u1ec9\t c\u1ea7n\t \u00f4ng\t m\u1edf\t c\u00e1nh\t c\u1eeda\t ch\t t\u00f4i,\t t\u00f4i\t c\u00f3\t th\u1ec3 ch\u1ee9ng\tminh\tcho\t\u00f4ng.\u201d\t\u0110i\tv\u00e0o\tph\u00f2ng\tkh\u00e1ch,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u00f3i:\u201d\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\ts\u1ea5y\tc\u00e1i\tpiano \u0111\u00f3\tkh\u00f4ng?\t\u0110\u00e1\tl\u00e0\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i.\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\ts\u1ea5y\tc\u00e1i\ttivi\tkh\u1ed5ng\tl\u1ed3\t\u0111\u00f3\tkh\u00f4ng?\t\u0110\u00e1\tc\u0169ng\tl\u00e0 c\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i.\tB\u00e2y\tgi\u1edd\ttheo\tt\u00f4i.\u201d Vi\u00ean\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\ttheo\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\ttrong\tl\u00fac\tg\u00e3\tch\u00e2n\tnam\t\u0111\u00e1\tch\u00e2n\tchi\u00eau\tv\u01b0\u1ee3t qua\tc\u1ea7u\tthang\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tt\u1ea7ng\thai.\tG\u00e3\tsay\t\u0111\u1ea9y\tc\u00e1nh\tc\u1eeda\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tti\u00ean\th\u1ecd\t\u0111\u1ebfn.\u201d\u0110\u00e2y...\u00e2y... l\u00e0...\u00e0...\t ph\u00f2ng\t ng\u1ee7\t c\u1ee7a\t t\u00f4i,\u201d\t g\u00e3\t tuy\u00ean\t b\u1ed1.\u201dS\u1ea5y\t c\u00e1i\t gi\u01b0\u1eddng\t kia\t kh\u00f4ng?\t \u0110\u00f3\t l\u00e0 c\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i!\tS\u1ea5y\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\tb\u00e0\tkia\tn\u1eb1m\ttr\u00ean\tgi\u01b0\u1eddng\tkh\u00f4ng?\t\u0110\u00f3...\u00f3...\tl\u00e0\tv\u1ee3\tt\u00f4i. V\u00e0\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ea5y\tg\u00e3\tkia\tn\u1eb1m\ts\u00e1t\tc\u00f4\tta\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d \u201c\u1edc?\u201d\t \u00f4ng\t c\u00f2\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi\t gi\u1ecdng\t nghi\t ng\u1edd.\t T\u1eeb\t gi\u1edd\t \u00f4ng\t c\u00f2\t b\u1eaft\t \u0111\u1ea7u\t nghi\t ng\u1edd\t c\u00e2u chuy\u1ec7n\tc\u1ee7a\tg\u00e3\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tth\u1eadt\ts\u1ef1. \u201c\u00c0,\t\u0111\u00f3...\u00f3...\tl\u00e0\tt\u00f4i!\u201d 142\tA\tNEVER-CAN-BE-FINED\tDRUNK\tDRIVER A\t police\t officer\t pulls\t over\t this\t guy\t who\t s\t been\t weaving\t in\t and\t out\t of\t the lanes. At\tthe\tguy\ts\twindow\the\tsays,\t\\\"Sir,\tI\tneed\tyou\tto\tblow\tinto\tthis\tbreathalyzer tube.\\\" The\tman\tsays,\t\\\"Sorry,\tofficer,\tI\tcan\tt\tdo\tthat.\tI\tam\tan\tasthmatic.\tIf\tI\tdo\tthat, I\tll\thave\ta\treally\tbad\tasthma\tattack.\\\" \\\"Okay,\tfine.\tI\tneed\tyou\tto\tcome\tdown\tto\tthe\tstation\tto\tgive\ta\tblood\tsample.\\\"","\\\"I\tcan\tt\tdo\tthat\teither.\tI\tam\ta\themophiliac.\tIf\tI\tdo\tthat,\tI\tll\tbleed\tto\tdeath.\\\" \\\"Well,\tthen,\twe\tneed\ta\turine\tsample.\\\" \\\"I\tm\tsorry,\tofficer,\tI\tcan\tt\tdo\tthat\teither.\tI\tam\talso\ta\tdiabetic.\tIf\tI\tdo\tthat,\tI\tll get\treally\tlow\tblood\tsugar.\\\" \\\"All\tright,\tthen\tI\tneed\tyou\tto\tcome\tout\there\tand\twalk\tthis\twhite\tline.\\\" \\\"I\tcan\tt\tdo\tthat,\tofficer.\\\" \\\"Why\tnot?\\\" \\\"Because\tI\tm\tdrunk.\\\" M\u1ed8T\tT\u00c0I\tX\u1ebe\tSAY\tX\u1ec8N\tKH\u00d4NG\tBAO\tGI\u1edc\tC\u00d3\tTH\u1ec2\tB\u1eca\tPH\u1ea0T M\u1ed9t\t s\u0129\t quan\t c\u1ea3nh\t s\u00e1t\t l\u1ec7nh\t cho\t xe\t m\u1ed9t\t g\u00e3\t \u0111\u00e1nh\t v\u00f5ng\t tr\u00ean\t c\u00e1c\t l\u00e0n\t \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\t t\u1ea1t v\u00e0o\tv\u1ec7\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng. \u1ede\tc\u1eeda\ts\u1ed5\txe,\tvi\u00ean\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\tn\u00f3i:\u201dTh\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng,\tt\u00f4i\tc\u1ea7n\t\u00f4ng\tth\u1ed5i\tv\u00e0o\t\u1ed1ng\tm\u00e1y\tph\u00e2n t\u00edch\th\u01a1i\tth\u1edf.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i:\u201dXin\tl\u1ed7i,\tth\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng,\tt\u00f4i\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1eady.\tT\u00f4i\tm\u1eafc\tb\u1ec7nh hen.\tN\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1eady,\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\tl\u00ean\tc\u01a1n\tsuy\u1ec5n\tn\u1eb7ng\tth\u1eadt\ts\u1ef1.\u201d \u201c\u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c\tr\u1ed3i,\tkh\u00f4ng\tsao.\tT\u00f4i\tc\u1ea7n\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111i\txu\u1ed1ng\t\u0111\u1ed3n\t\u0111\u1ec3\t\u0111\u01b0a\tm\u1eabu\tm\u00e1u.\u201d \u201cT\u00f4i\tc\u0169ng\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1eady.\tT\u00f4i\tb\u1ecb\tm\u1eafc\tch\u1ee9ng\tm\u00e1u\tkh\u00f3\t\u0111\u00f4ng.\tN\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0m","v\u1eady,\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\tch\u1ea3y\tm\u00e1u\tt\u1edbi\tch\u1ebft.\u201d \u201c\u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c\tr\u1ed3i,\tv\u1eady\tth\u00ec\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i\tc\u1ea7n\tm\u1ed9t\tm\u1eabu\tn\u01b0\u1edbc\tti\u1ec3u.\u201d \u201cXin\t l\u1ed7i,\t th\u01b0a\t \u00f4ng,\t t\u00f4i\t c\u0169ng\t kh\u00f4ng\t th\u1ec3\t l\u00e0m\t v\u1eady.\t T\u00f4i\t c\u0169ng\t b\u1ecb\t m\u1eafc\t b\u1ec7nh\t ti\u1ec3u \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\tn\u1eefa.\tN\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1eady,\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\tb\u1ecb\th\u1ea1\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\thuy\u1ebft\tth\u1eadt\ts\u1ef1.\u201d \u201cC\u0169ng\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c,\t th\u1ebf\t th\u00ec\t t\u00f4i\t c\u1ea7n\t \u00f4ng\t b\u01b0\u1edbc\t ra\t ngo\u00e0i\t \u0111\u00e2y\t v\u00e0\t \u0111i\t b\u1ed9\t tr\u00ean\t \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\t k\u1ebb tr\u1eafng\tn\u00e0y.\u201d \u201cT\u00f4i\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\t\u0111i\tnh\u01b0\tth\u1ebf,\tth\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng\ts\u0129\tquan.\u201d \u201cT\u1ea1i\tsao\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d \u201cV\u00ec\tt\u00f4i\tsay\tr\u01b0\u1ee3u.\u201d Nh\u1eefng\tch\u1ee7\t\u0111\u1ec1\tkh\u00e1c 143\tTHE\tEMINENT\tSCHOLAR\tAND\tTHE\tMAN Bored\t during\t a\t long\t flight,\t an\t eminent\t scholar\t woke\t up\t the\t sleeping\t man alongside\t him\t to\t ask\t if\t he\t would\t like\t to\t play\t a\t game.\t \\\"I\t ll\t ask\t you\t a question,\\\"\the\texplained,\t\\\"and\tif\tyou\tdon\tt\tknow\twhat\tthe\tanswer\tis,\tyou\tpay me\t$5.\tThen\tyou\task\tme\ta\tquestion,\tand\tif\tI\tdon\tt\tknow\tthe\tanswer,\tI\tll\tpay you\t$50.\\\" When\tthe\tman\tagreed\tto\tplay,\tthe\tscholar\tasked,\t\\\"What\ts\tthe\tdistance\tfrom the\t earth\t to\t the\t moon?\\\"\t Having\t no\t idea,\t the\t man\t handed\t him\t $5.\t \\\"Ha!\\\"","announced\tthe\tscholar.\t\\\"It\ts\t384,392\tkilometres.\tNow\tit\ts\tyour\tturn.\\\" The\tman\twas\tsilent\tfor\ta\tfew\tmoments.\tThen\the\tasked,\t\\\"What\tgoes\tup\ta\thill with\tthree\tlegs\tand\tcomes\tdown\twith\tfour?\\\" Puzzled,\tthe\tscholar\tracked\this\tbrains\tfor\tan\thour\tto\tno\tavail. Finally\t he\t took\t out\t his\t wallet\t and\t handed\t over\t $50.\t \\\"OK,\t what\t is\t the answer?\\\"\the\tasked. The\tman\tsaid,\t\\\"I\tdon\tt\tknow,\\\"\tpulled\tout\ta\t$5\tnote,\thanded\tit\tto\tthe\tscholar and\twent\tback\tto\tsleep. V\u1eca\tH\u1eccC\tGI\u1ea2\tN\u1ed4I\tTI\u1ebeNG\tV\u00c0\tNG\u01af\u1edcI\t\u0110\u00c0N\t\u00d4NG Ch\u00e1n\tng\u1eaft\tv\u00ec\tchuy\u1ebfn\tbay\td\u00e0i,\tm\u1ed9t\th\u1ecdc\tgi\u1ea3\tn\u1ed5i\tti\u1ebfng\t\u0111\u00e1nh\tth\u1ee9c\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng n\u1eb1m\tng\u1ee7\tk\u1ebf\tb\u00ean\th\u1ecfi\t\u00f4ng\tta\tc\u00f3\tmu\u1ed1n\tch\u01a1i\tm\u1ed9t\ttr\u00f2\tch\u01a1i\tkh\u00f4ng.\t\u201cT\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\th\u1ecfi\t\u00f4ng m\u1ed9t\tc\u00e2u\th\u1ecfi,\u201d\t\u00f4ng\tta\tgi\u1ea3i\tth\u00edch,\t\u201cv\u00e0\tn\u1ebfu\t\u00f4ng\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft\tc\u00e2u\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi,\t\u00f4ng\ttr\u1ea3\tt\u00f4i 5\t\u0111\u00f4\tla.Sau\t\u0111\u00f3\t\u00f4ng\th\u1ecfi\tt\u00f4i\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e2u\th\u1ecfi,\tv\u00e0\tn\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft\tc\u00e2u\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi,\tt\u00f4i s\u1ebd\ttr\u1ea3\t\u00f4ng\t50\t\u0111\u00f4\tla.\u201d Khi\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u1ed3ng\t \u00fd\t ch\u01a1i,\t h\u1ecdc\t gi\u1ea3\t h\u1ecfi:\u201dKho\u1ea3ng\t c\u00e1ch\t t\u1eeb\t Tr\u00e1i\t \u0111\u1ea5t\t t\u1edbi M\u1eb7t\ttr\u0103ng\tl\u00e0\tbao\tnhi\u00eau?\u201d\tKh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\t\u00fd\tki\u1ebfn\tg\u00ec,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng\tta\t5\t\u0111\u00f4 la.\t\u201cHa!\u201d\th\u1ecdc\tgi\u1ea3\tcho\tbi\u1ebft,\t\u201c384.392\tkil\u00f4met.\tB\u00e2y\tgi\u1edd\tt\u1edbi\tl\u01b0\u1ee3t\t\u00f4ng.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t im\t l\u1eb7ng\t trong\t gi\u00e2y\t l\u00e1t.\t Sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t h\u1ecfi:\u201dC\u00e1i\t g\u00ec\t \u0111i\t l\u00ean\t \u0111\u1ed3i v\u1edbi\tba\tch\u00e2n\tv\u00e0\txu\u1ed1ng\t\u0111\u1ed3i\tv\u1edbi\tb\u1ed1n\tch\u00e2n?\u201d L\u00fang\tt\u00fang,\th\u1ecdc\tgi\u1ea3\tb\u00f3p\ttr\u00e1n\ttrong\tm\u1ed9t\tti\u1ebfng\tm\u00e0\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tk\u1ebft\tqu\u1ea3\tg\u00ec.","Cu\u1ed1i\t c\u00f9ng\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t l\u1ea5y\t b\u00f3p\t ra\t v\u00e0\t \u0111\u01b0a\t 50\t \u0111\u00f4\t la.\t \u201c\u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c\t r\u1ed3i,\t c\u00e2u\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi\t l\u00e0\t g\u00ec?\u201d \u00f4ng\tta\th\u1ecfi. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i:\u201dT\u00f4i\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft,\u201d\tl\u00f4i\tra\tm\u1ed9t\tt\u1edd\t5\t\u0111\u00f4\tla,\t\u0111\u01b0a\tcho\th\u1ecdc\tgi\u1ea3 v\u00e0\tn\u1eb1m\tng\u1ee7\ttr\u1edf\tl\u1ea1i. 144\tTHE\tPOLITICIANS\tAND\tA\tFARMER A\t bus\t load\t of\t politicians\t were\t driving\t down\t a\t country\t road\t when\t all\t of\t a sudden\t the\t bus\t ran\t off\t the\t road\t and\t crashed\t into\t a\t tree\t in\t an\t old\t farmer\t s field.\t The\t old\t farmer\t after\t seeing\t what\t happened\t went\t over\t to\t investigate. He\tthen\tproceeded\tto\tdig\ta\thole\tand\tbury\tthe\tpoliticians. A\t few\t days\t later,\t the\t local\t sheriff\t came\t out,\t saw\t the\t crashed\t bus,\t and\t then asked\tthe\told\tfarmer,\t\\\"Were\tthey\tALL\tdead?\\\" The\told\tfarmer\treplied, \\\"Well,\t some\t of\t them\t said\t they\t weren\t t,\t but\t you\t know\t how\t them\t politicians lie.\\\" C\u00c1C\tCH\u00cdNH\tTR\u1eca\tGIA\tV\u00c0\tB\u00c1C\tN\u00d4NG\tD\u00c2N M\u1ed9t\txe\tbu\u00fdt\tch\u1edf\tnh\u1eefng\tch\u00ednh\ttr\u1ecb\tgia\t\u0111ang\tl\u00e1i\txu\u1ed1ng\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\t\u0111\u1ed3ng\tqu\u00ea th\u00ec\t\u0111\u1ed9t\tnhi\u00ean\tchi\u1ebfc\txe\tch\u1ea1y\tra\tkh\u1ecfi\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u00e2m\ts\u1ea7m\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e2y\ttr\u00ean\tc\u00e1nh \u0111\u1ed3ng\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u1ed9t\t\u00f4ng\tgi\u00e0\tn\u00f4ng\td\u00e2n.\t\u00d4ng\tgi\u00e0\tn\u00f4ng\td\u00e2n,\tsau\tkhi\tth\u1ea5y\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tg\u00ec\tx\u1ea3y ra,\t \u0111\u00e3\t \u0111i\t t\u1edbi\t \u0111\u1ec3\t xem\t x\u00e9t.\t Ti\u1ebfp\t sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u00e0o\t m\u1ed9t\t c\u00e1i\t l\u1ed7\t v\u00e0\t ch\u00f4n\t c\u00e1c\t nh\u00e0 ch\u00ednh\ttr\u1ecb. M\u1ed9t\tv\u00e0i\tng\u00e0y\tsau,\tvi\u00ean\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\ttr\u01b0\u1edfng\t\u0111\u1ecba\tph\u01b0\u01a1ng\t\u0111i\tra\tngo\u00e0i,\tth\u1ea5y\tchi\u1ebfc\txe","bu\u00fdt\t trong\t v\u1ee5\t \u0111\u00e2m\t v\u00e0o\t th\u00e2n\t c\u00e2y,\t v\u00e0\t sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t h\u1ecfi\t b\u00e1c\t n\u00f4ng\t d\u00e2n:\u201dH\u1ecd\t ch\u1ebft\t h\u1ebft \u00e0?\u201d \u00d4ng\tl\u00e3o\tn\u00f4ng\td\u00e2n\t\u0111\u00e1p:\u201d\u1ed2,\tm\u1ed9t\ts\u1ed1\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tn\u00f3i\th\u1ecd\tkh\u00f4ng\tch\u1ebft,\tnh\u01b0ng\t\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft nh\u1eefng\tch\u00ednh\ttr\u1ecb\tgia\th\u1ecd\tn\u00f3i\tl\u00e1o\tnh\u01b0\tth\u1ebf\tn\u00e0o.\u201d","Truy\u1ec7n\tC\u01b0\u1eddi\tQu\u1ed1c\tt\u1ebf Song\tNg\u1eef\tAnh\t-\tVi\u1ec7t T\u1eadp\t6 145\tCREATIVE\t\u2026 This\tman\twas\tgoing\tup\tto\tbed\twhen\this\twife\ttold\thim\tthat\the\td\tleft\tthe\tlight on\tin\tthe\tgarden\tshed,\twhich\tshe\tcould\tsee\tfrom\tthe\tbedroom\twindow.\tThen he\t looked\t for\t himself\t and\t saw\t that\t there\t were\t people\t in\t the\t shed\t stealing things.\tHe\tphoned\tthe\tpolice,\tbut\tthey\ttold\thim\tthat\tno\tone\twas\tin\this\tarea\tto help,\tso\the\tsaid\tok,\thung\tup,\tcounted\tto\t30,\tand\tphoned\tthe\tpolice\tagain. \\\"Hello.\tI\tjust\tcalled\tyou\ta\tfew\tseconds\tago\tbecause\tthere\twere\tpeople\tin\tmy shed.\t Well,\t you\t don\t t\t have\t to\t worry\t about\t them\t now\t cause\t I\t ve\t just\t shot them\tall.\\\" Within\t five\t minutes\t there\t were\t half\t a\t dozen\t police\t cars\t in\t the\t area,\t an Armed\tResponse\tunit.\tOf\tcourse,\tthey\tcaught\tthe\tburglars\tred-handed. One\t of\t the\t policeman\t said\t to\t this\t man:\t \\\"I\t thought\t you\t said\t that\t you\t d\t shot them!\\\" He\treplied\t\\\"I\tthought\tyou\tsaid\tthere\twas\tnobody\tavailable!\\\" M\u1eaaN\tTI\u1ec6P\t\u2026 Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t n\u00e0y\t s\u1eafp\t \u0111i\t ng\u1ee7\t th\u00ec\t v\u1ee3\t \u00f4ng\t n\u00f3i\t v\u1edbi\t \u00f4ng\t r\u1eb1ng\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u00e3\t \u0111\u1ec3\t s\u00e1ng \u0111\u00e8n\t \u1edf\t nh\u00e0\t v\u01b0\u1eddn,\t b\u00e0\t c\u00f3\t th\u1ec3\t th\u1ea5y\t t\u1eeb\t c\u1eeda\t s\u1ed5\t ph\u00f2ng\t ng\u1ee7.Sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t \u00f4ng\t t\u1ef1\t nh\u00ecn quanh\t v\u00e0\t th\u1ea5y\t c\u00f3\t v\u00e0i\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t trong\t nh\u00e0\t v\u01b0\u1eddn\t \u0103n\t tr\u1ed9m\t \u0111\u1ed3.\t \u00d4ng\t g\u1ecdi\t \u0111i\u1ec7n\t cho","c\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t,\tnh\u01b0ng\th\u1ecd\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\t\u00f4ng\tr\u1eb1ng\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tai\ttrong\tkhu\tv\u1ef1c\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u1ec3\tgi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1,\tv\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tth\u00f4i,\ttreo\tm\u00e1y,\t\u0111\u1ebfm\t\u0111\u1ebfn\t30,\tv\u00e0\tg\u1ecdi\tl\u1ea1i\tcho\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t. \u201cXin\t ch\u00e0o.\t T\u00f4i\t v\u1eeba\t m\u1edbi\t g\u1ecdi\t \u00f4ng\t m\u1ed9t\t v\u00e0i\t gi\u00e2y\t tr\u01b0\u1edbc\t v\u00ec\t c\u00f3\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t trong\t nh\u00e0 v\u01b0\u1eddn\tt\u00f4i.\u00c0,\tb\u00e2y\tgi\u1edd\t\u00f4ng\tkh\u00f4ng\tph\u1ea3i\tlo\tl\u1eafng\tv\u1ec1\tch\u00fang\tb\u1edfi\tv\u00ec\tt\u00f4i\tv\u1eeba\tm\u1edbi\tb\u1eafn t\u1ea5t\tc\u1ea3\tch\u00fang\tn\u00f3.\u201d Trong\t v\u00f2ng\t n\u0103m\t ph\u00fat\t c\u00f3\t n\u1eeda\t t\u00e1\t xe\t c\u1ea3nh\t s\u00e1t\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t khu\t v\u1ef1c,\t m\u1ed9t\t \u0111\u01a1n\t v\u1ecb\t Ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng\tv\u0169\ttrang.D\u0129\tnhi\u00ean,\th\u1ecd\tb\u1eaft\tqu\u1ea3\ttang\tnh\u1eefng\tk\u1ebb\ttr\u1ed9m\t\u0111\u00eam. M\u1ed9t\tvi\u00ean\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00e0y:\u201d\tT\u00f4i\tngh\u0129\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i\tr\u1eb1ng\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u00e3 b\u1eafn\tch\u00fang\tn\u00f3!\u201d \u00d4ng\tta\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi:\u201dT\u00f4i\tngh\u0129\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00f3i\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tai\tchu\u1ea9n\tb\u1ecb\ts\u1eb5n\ttrong\tkhu\tv\u1ef1c!\u201d 146\tTHE\tPAYBACK Bill\t had\t always\t been\t a\t prankster.\t As\t each\t of\t his\t friends\t were\t married,\t Bill made\tsure\tsome\ttype\tof\tpractical\tjoke\twas\tplayed\tupon\tthem.\tNow\tready\tto be\tmarried\thimself,\the\twas\tdreading\tthe\tpayback\the\tknew\twas\tcoming. Surprisingly,\tthe\tceremony\twent\toff\twithout\ta\thitch.\tNo\tone\tstood\tup\tduring the\t pause\t to\t offer\t a\t reason\t why\t this\t couple\t should\t not\t be\t married\t .\t His reception\t wasn\t t\t disrupted\t by\t streakers\t or\t smoke-bombs,\t and\t the\t car\t the couple\twas\tto\ttake on\ttheir\thoneymoon\twas\tin\tperfect\tworking\torder. When\t the\t couple\t arrived\t at\t their\t hotel\t and\t entered\t the\t room,\t Bill\t even checked\t for\t cornflakes\t in\t the\t bed\t (a\t gag\t he\t had\t always\t loved).\t Nothing,\t it","seemed,\t was\t amiss.\t Satisfied\t that\t he\t had\t come\t away\t unscathed,\t the\t couple fell\tinto\tbed. Upon\twaking,\tthe\tcouple\twas\travenous\tso\tBill\tcalled\tdown\tto\troom\tservice and\tasked,\t\\\"I\td\tlike\tto\torder\tbreakfast\tfor\ttwo.\\\" At\tthat\tmoment,\ta\tsoft\tvoice\tfrom\tunder\tthe\tbed\tsaid,\t\\\"Make\tthat\tfive.\\\" TR\u1ea2\t\u0110\u0168A Bill\t \u0111\u00e3\t lu\u00f4n\t l\u00e0\t m\u1ed9t\t tay\t ch\u01a1i\t kh\u0103m.\t L\u00fac\t m\u1ed7i\t trong\t s\u1ed1\t nh\u1eefng\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u1ea1n\t c\u1ee7a anh\tta\tk\u1ebft\th\u00f4n\tth\u00ec\tBill\tch\u1eafc\tch\u1eafn\tb\u00e0y\tra\tm\u1ed9t\tki\u1ec3u\tch\u01a1i\t\u00e1c\t\u0111\u1ec3\tch\u01a1i\th\u1ecd.\tB\u00e2y\tgi\u1edd \u0111\u1ebfn\tl\u01b0\u1ee3t\tb\u1ea3n\tth\u00e2n\tanh\tta\ts\u1eafp\tc\u01b0\u1edbi,\tanh\tta\ts\u1ee3\ts\u1ef1\ttr\u1ea3\t\u0111\u0169a\tanh\tta\tbi\u1ebft\t\u0111ang\t\u0111\u1ebfn. \u0110\u00e1ng\tng\u1ea1c\tnhi\u00ean\tl\u00e0\tl\u1ec5\tc\u01b0\u1edbi\tdi\u1ec5n\tra\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\ttr\u1edf\tng\u1ea1i\tg\u00ec.\tKh\u00f4ng\tai\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tl\u00ean trong\tl\u00fac\tt\u1ea1m\tngh\u1ec9\t\u0111\u1ec3\t\u0111\u01b0a\tra\tl\u00fd\tdo\t\u201c\tt\u1ea1i\tsao\tc\u1eb7p\tn\u00e0y\tkh\u00f4ng\tn\u00ean\tc\u01b0\u1edbi\tnhau\u201d. Ti\u1ec7c\t chi\u00eau\t \u0111\u00e3i\t c\u1ee7a\t anh\t ta\t kh\u00f4ng\t b\u1ecb\t ph\u00e1\t \u0111\u00e1m\t b\u1edfi\t nh\u1eefng\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t ch\u1ea1y\t kh\u00f4ng qu\u1ea7n\t \u00e1o\t ho\u1eb7c\t nh\u1eefng\t bom\t kh\u00f3i,\t v\u00e0\t chi\u1ebfc\t xe\t h\u01a1i\t c\u1ee7a\t c\u1eb7p\t v\u1ee3\t ch\u1ed3ng\t ph\u1ea3i\t \u0111\u1ea3m nhi\u1ec7m\ttu\u1ea7n\ttr\u0103ng\tm\u1eadt\tc\u1ee7a\th\u1ecd\tch\u1ea1y\tho\u00e0n\th\u1ea3o. Khi\t c\u1eb7p\t v\u1ee3\t ch\u1ed3ng\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t kh\u00e1ch\t s\u1ea1n\t v\u00e0\t v\u00e0o\t ph\u00f2ng,\t Bill\t th\u1eadm\t ch\u00ed\t ki\u1ec3m\t tra\t c\u00f3 b\u00e1nh\tb\u1eafp\tn\u01b0\u1edbng\ttr\u00ean\tgi\u01b0\u1eddng\tkh\u00f4ng\t(m\u1ed9t\tth\u1ee9\tanh\tta\tlu\u00f4n\t\u01b0a\tth\u00edch).\tKh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3 g\u00ec\t l\u00e0\t b\u1eady\t b\u1ea1\t c\u1ea3,\t c\u00f3\t v\u1ebb\t nh\u01b0\t v\u1eady.\t H\u00e0i\t l\u00f2ng\t r\u1eb1ng\t m\u00ecnh\t \u0111\u00e3\t \u0111i\t xa\t v\u00f4\t s\u1ef1,\t c\u1eb7p\t v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng\tng\u00e3\tv\u00e0o\tgi\u01b0\u1eddng\tng\u1ee7. Khi\t th\u1ee9c\t d\u1eady,\t hai\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t c\u1ea3m\t th\u1ea5y\t \u0111\u00f3i\t c\u1ed3n\t c\u00e0o,\t v\u00ec\t th\u1ebf\t Bill\t g\u1ecdi\t xu\u1ed1ng\t ph\u00f2ng ph\u1ee5c\tv\u1ee5\tv\u00e0\ty\u00eau\tc\u1ea7u:\u201d\tT\u00f4i\tmu\u1ed1n\t\u0111\u1eb7t\t\u0103n\ts\u00e1ng\tcho\thai\tng\u01b0\u1eddi.\u201d V\u00e0o\t ngay\t l\u00fac\t \u1ea5y,\t m\u1ed9t\t gi\u1ecdng\t n\u00f3i\t nh\u1eb9\t nh\u00e0ng\t t\u1eeb\t d\u01b0\u1edbi\t g\u1ea7m\t gi\u01b0\u1eddng\t c\u1ea5t\t l\u00ean:\u201d L\u00e0m\tn\u0103m\tlu\u00f4n.\u201d","147\tDISABLE\tVETERAN A\t retired\t General\t hired\t a\t new\t secretary.\t She\t was\t young,\t sweet\t and\t polite. One\tday\twhile\ttaking\tdictation,\tshe\tnoticed\this\tfly\twas\topen. When\t leaving\t the\t room,\t she\t courteously\t said,\t \\\"Oh\t by\t the\t way\t sir,\t did\t you know\tthat\tyour\tbarracks\tdoor\twas\topen\\\"? He\t didn\t t\t understand\t her\t remark,\t but\t later,\t he\t happened\t to\t look\t down\t and saw\t his\t zipper\t was\t open.\t He\t decided\t to\t have\t some\t fun\t with\t his\t new employee. Calling\ther\tinto\this\toffice,\the\tasked,\t\\\"By\tthe\tway\tMiss\tJones,\twhen\tyou\tsaw my\tbarracks\tdoor\topen,\tdid\tyou\talso\tsee\ta\tsoldier\tstanding\tat\tattention?\\\" The\t secretary\t replied,\t \\\"Why\t no\t sir,\t but\t I\t did\t see\t a\t little\t disabled\t veteran sitting\ton\ttwo\tduffel\tbags...\\\" M\u1ed8T\tC\u1ef0U\tBINH\tY\u1ebeU\t\u1edaT\tB\u1ea4T\tL\u1ef0C M\u1ed9t\t vi\u00ean\t t\u01b0\u1edbng\t v\u1ec1\t h\u01b0u\t thu\u00ea\t m\u1ed9t\t c\u00f4\t th\u01b0\t k\u00fd\t m\u1edbi.\t C\u00f4\t ta\t tr\u1ebb,\t d\u1ec5\t th\u01b0\u01a1ng\t v\u00e0\t l\u1ec5 ph\u00e9p.\tM\u1ed9t\tng\u00e0y\tkia,\ttrong\tkhi\t\u0111ang\tvi\u1ebft\tnh\u1eefng\tl\u1eddi\t\u00f4ng\tt\u01b0\u1edbng\t\u0111\u1ecdc\tth\u00ec\tc\u00f4\t\u0111\u1ec3\t\u00fd th\u1ea5y\td\u00e2y\tk\u00e9o\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tm\u1edf\tra. Khi\t r\u1eddi\t ph\u00f2ng,\t c\u00f4\t l\u1ecbch\t s\u1ef1\t n\u00f3i:\u201d\t \u1ed2,\t \u00e0\t n\u00e0y,\t th\u01b0a\t \u00f4ng,\t \u00f4ng\t c\u00f3\t bi\u1ebft\t r\u1eb1ng\t c\u1eeda doang\ttr\u1ea1i\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tm\u1edf\tra?\u201d \u00d4ng\tta\tkh\u00f4ng\thi\u1ec3u\tl\u1eddi\tnh\u1eafc\tc\u1ee7a\tc\u00f4\tta,\tnh\u01b0ng\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tng\u1eabu\tnhi\u00ean\tnh\u00ecn xu\u1ed1ng\t v\u00e0\t th\u1ea5y\t ph\u00e9c\t m\u01a1\t tuya\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t m\u1edf\t ra.\t \u00d4ng\t ta\t quy\u1ebft\t \u0111\u1ecbnh\t \u0111\u00f9a\t nh\u00e2n\t vi\u00ean","m\u1edbi. G\u1ecdi\tc\u00f4\tta\tv\u00e0o\tv\u0103n\tph\u00f2ng,\t\u00f4ng\th\u1ecfi:\t\u201c\u00c0\tn\u00e0y,\tc\u00f4\tJones,\tkhi\tc\u00f4\tth\u1ea5y\tc\u1eeda\tdoanh tr\u1ea1i\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tm\u1edf,\tc\u00f4\tc\u0169ng\tth\u1ea5y\tlu\u00f4n\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tl\u00ednh\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tnghi\u00eam\tch\u1ee9?\u201d C\u00f4\tth\u01b0\tk\u00fd\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi:\t\u201cT\u1ea1i\tsao\tkh\u00f4ng,\tth\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng,\tnh\u01b0ng\tt\u00f4i\tth\u1ea5y\tr\u00f5\tr\u00e0ng\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u1ef1u binh\tnh\u1ecf\ty\u1ebfu\t\u1edbt\tb\u1ea5t\tl\u1ef1c\tng\u1ed3i\ttr\u00ean\thai\tt\u00fai\t\u0111\u1ed3\tl\u1ec1\t\u2026\t\u201c 148\tCALMING\tYOUR\tSON\t\u2026 In\t the\t supermarket\t was\t a\t man\t pushing\t a\t cart\t which\t contained\t a\t screaming, bellowing\t baby.\t The\t gentleman\t kept\t repeating\t softly,\t \\\"Don\t t\t get\t excited, Albert;\tdon\tt\tscream,\tAlbert;\tdon\tt\tyell,\tAlbert;\tkeep\tcalm,\tAlbert.\\\" A\twoman\tstanding\tnext\tto\thim\tsaid,\t\\\"You\tcertainly\tare\tto\tbe\tcommended\tfor trying\tto\tsoothe\tyour\tson,\tAlbert.\\\" The\tman\tlooked\tat\ther\tand\tsaid,\t\\\"Lady,\tI\tm\tAlbert.\\\" D\u1ed6\tCON\tTRAI\t\u00d4NG\t\u2026 Trong\t si\u00eau\t th\u1ecb\t c\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u1ea9y\t m\u1ed9t\t chi\u1ebfc\t xe\t c\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t\t \u0111\u1ee9a\t b\u00e9\t th\u00e9t r\u1ed1ng\tl\u00ean.\tQu\u00fd\t\u00f4ng\tn\u00e0y\tlu\u00f4n\tn\u00f3i\t\u0111i\tn\u00f3i\tl\u1ea1i\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1ch\tnh\u1eb9\tnh\u00e0ng:\u201d\t\u0110\u1eebng\tb\u1ecb\tk\u00edch \u0111\u1ed9ng,\tAlbert;\t\u0111\u1eebng\tk\u00eau\tth\u1ea5t\tthanh,\tAlbert;\t\u0111\u1eebng\tla\th\u00e9t,\tAlbert;\th\u00e3y\tb\u00ecnh\tt\u0129nh, Albert.\u201d M\u1ed9t\tb\u00e0\t\u0111\u1ee9ng\tc\u1ea1nh\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u00f3i:\u201d\t\u00d4ng\tnh\u1ea5t\t\u0111\u1ecbnh\tph\u1ea3i\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tkhen\tv\u00ec\tc\u1ed1\tg\u1eafng\t\u0111\u1ec3 d\u1ed7\tcon\ttrai\t\u00f4ng,\tAlbert.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tnh\u00ecn\tb\u00e0\tta\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i:\u201dTh\u01b0a\tb\u00e0,\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tAlbert.\u201d","149\tYOU\u2019RE\tSMARTER\tALREADY! A\t customer\t at\t Green\t s\t Gourmet\t Grocery\t marveled\t at\t the\t proprietor\t s\t quick wit\tand\tintelligence. \\\"Tell\tme,\tGreen,\twhat\tmakes\tyou\tso\tsmart?\\\" \\\"I\t wouldn\t t\t share\t my\t secret\t with\t just\t anyone,\\\"\t Green\t replies,\t lowering\t his voice\tso\tthe\tother\tshoppers\twon\tt\thear.\t\\\"But\tsince\tyou\tre\ta\tgood\tand\tfaithful customer,\tI\tll\tlet\tyou\tin\ton\tit.\tFish\theads.\tYou\teat\tenough\tof\tthem,\tyou\tll\tbe positively\tbrilliant.\\\" \\\"You\tsell\tthem\there?\\\"\tthe\tcustomer\tasks. \\\"Only\t$4\tapiece,\\\"\tsays\tGreen. The\t customer\t buys\t three.\t A\t week\t later,\t he\t s\t back\t in\t the\t store\t complaining that\tthe\tfish\theads\twere\tdisgusting\tand\the\tisn\tt\tany\tsmarter. \\\"You\t didn\t t\t eat\t enough,\t \\\"\t says\t Green.\t The\t customer\t goes\t home\t with\t 20 more fish\theads.\tTwo\tweeks\tlater,\the\ts\tback\tand\tthis\ttime\the\ts\treally\tangry. \\\"Hey,\t Green,\\\"\t he\t says,\t \\\"You\t re\t selling\t me\t fish\t heads\t for\t $4\t apiece\t when\t I can\tbuy\tthe\twhole\tfish\tfor\t$2.\tYou\tre\tripping\tme\toff!\\\" \\\"You\tsee?\\\"\tsays\tGreen.\t\\\"You\tre\tsmarter\talready.\\\"","\u00d4NG\t\u0110\u00c3\tTH\u00d4NG\tMINH\tH\u01a0N\tR\u1ed2I M\u1ed9t\t kh\u00e1ch\t h\u00e0ng\t t\u1ea1i\t h\u00e0ng\t t\u1ea1p\t ph\u1ea9m\t Green\t s\t Gourmet\t l\u1ea5y\t l\u00e0m\t l\u1ea1\t v\u1ec1\t t\u00e0i\t m\u1eabn ti\u1ec7p\tv\u00e0tr\u00ed\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tch\u1ee7\th\u00e0ng. \u201cH\u00e3y\tn\u00f3i\tcho\tt\u00f4i\tbi\u1ebft,\tGreen,\tc\u00e1i\tg\u00ec\tl\u00e0m\tcho\t\u00f4ng\tqu\u00e1\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\tnh\u01b0\tv\u1eady?\u201d \u201c\tT\u00f4i\th\u1eb3n\tkh\u00f4ng\tchia\ts\u1ebb\tb\u00ed\tquy\u1ebft\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tv\u1edbi\tb\u1ea5t\tc\u1ee9\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tn\u00e0o,\u201d\tGreen\t\u0111\u00e1p, h\u1ea1\tth\u1ea5p\tgi\u1ecdng\tsao\tcho\tnh\u1eefng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tmua\th\u00e0ng\tkh\u00e1c\tkh\u00f4ng\tnghe.\t\u201cNh\u01b0ng\tv\u00ec \u00f4ng\tl\u00e0\tkh\u00e1ch\th\u00e0ng\tt\u1ed1t\tv\u00e0\tc\u00f3\tl\u01b0\u01a1ng\tt\u00e2m,\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\tch\u1ec9\t\u00f4ng\tc\u00e1ch\t\u0111\u00f3.\t\u0110\u1ea7u\tc\u00e1.\t\u00d4ng \u0103n\t\u0111\u1ee7\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tc\u00e1,\t\u00f4ng\ts\u1ebd\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\tch\u1eafc\tch\u1eafn.\u201d \u201c\t\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\tb\u00e1n\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tc\u00e1\t\u0111\u00e2y\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkh\u00e1ch\th\u1ecfi. \u201cCh\u1ec9\t4\t\u0111\u00f4la\tm\u1ed7i\tc\u00e1i,\t\u201c\tGreen\tn\u00f3i. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkh\u00e1ch\tmua\tmua\t3\tc\u00e1i.\tM\u1ed9t\ttu\u1ea7n\tsau,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tquay\tl\u1ea1i\tqu\u1ea7y\th\u00e0ng,\tthan r\u1eb1ng\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tc\u00e1\t\u0111\u00e1ng\tt\u1edfm\tv\u00e0\t\u00f4ng\tta\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\tl\u00ean\tt\u00ed\tn\u00e0o. \u201c\t \u00d4ng\t \u0111\u00e3\t \u0103n\t kh\u00f4ng\t \u0111\u1ee7,\u201d\t Green\t n\u00f3i.\t Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t kh\u00e1ch\t ra\t v\u1ec1\t v\u1edbi\t 20\t \u0111\u1ea7u\t c\u00e1\t n\u1eefa. Hai\ttu\u1ea7n\tsau,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tquay\tl\u1ea1i\tv\u00e0\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u00e0y\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u1ed5i\tgi\u1eadn\tth\u1ef1c\ts\u1ef1. \u201c\tN\u00e8,\tGreen,\u201d\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u00f3i,\t\u201c\t\u00d4ng\tb\u00e1n\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tc\u00e1\tcho\tt\u00f4i\t4\t\u0111\u00f4la\tm\u1ed7i\tc\u00e1i\ttrong\tkhi t\u00f4i\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tmua\t2\t\u0111\u00f4la\tc\u1ea3\tcon.\t\u00d4ng\t\u0111ang\tl\u1eeba\tt\u00f4i!\u201d \u201c\u00d4ng\txem?\u201d\tGreen\tn\u00f3i.\t\u201c\u00d4ng\t\u0111\u00e3\tth\u00f4ng\tminh\th\u01a1n.\u201d 150\tTHE\tREASON A\t little\t rural\t town\t had\t one\t of\t the\t highest\t birth\t rates\t in\t the\t country\t and\t this","phenomenon\tattracted\tthe\tattention\tof\tthe\tsociologists\tat\tthe\tstate\tuniversity. They\twrote\ta\tgrant\tproposal;\tgot\ta\thuge\tchunk\tof\tmoney;\tmoved\tto\ttown;\tset up\t their\t computers;\t got\t squared\t away;\t and\t began\t designing\t their questionnaires\tand\tsuch. While\t the\t staff\t was\t busy\t getting\t ready\t for\t their\t big\t research\t effort,\t the project\t director\t decided\t to\t go\t to\t the\t local\t drugstore\t for\t a\t cup\t of\t coffee.\t He sat\tdown\tat\tthe\tcounter,\tordered\this\tcoffee,\tand\twhile\the\twas\tdrinking\tit,\the told\tthe\tdruggist\twhat\this\tpurpose\twas\tin\ttown,\tthen\tasked\thim\tif\the\thad\tany idea\twhy\tthe\tbirth\trate\twas\tso\thigh. \\\"Sure,\\\"\t said\t the\t druggist.\t \\\"Every\t morning\t the\t six\t o\t clock\t train\t comes through\there\tand\tblows\tfor\tthe\tcrossing.\tIt\twakes\teverybody\tup,\tand,\twell,\tit s\ttoo\tlate\tto\tgo\tback\tto\tsleep,\tand\tit\ts\ttoo\tearly\tto\tget\tup.\\\" L\u00dd\tDO M\u1ed9t\t th\u1ecb\t x\u00e3\t nh\u1ecf\t n\u00f4ng\t th\u00f4n\t c\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t\t trong\t nh\u1eefng\t t\u1ec9\t l\u1ec7\t sinh\t cao\t nh\u1ea5t\t n\u01b0\u1edbc\t v\u00e0 hi\u1ec7n\t t\u01b0\u1ee3ng\t n\u00e0y\t thu\t h\u00fat\t s\u1ef1\t ch\u00fa\t \u00fd\t c\u1ee7a\t c\u00e1c\t nh\u00e0\t x\u00e3\t h\u1ed9i\t h\u1ecdc\t c\u1ee7a\t \u0111\u1ea1i\t h\u1ecdc\t qu\u1ed1c gia.H\u1ecd\tvi\u1ebft\tm\u1ed9t\td\u1ef1\t\u00e1n\ttr\u1ee3\tc\u1ea5p;\tnh\u1eadn\tm\u1ed9t\ts\u1ed1\tti\u1ec1n\tl\u1edbn;\t\u0111i\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tth\u1ecb\tx\u00e3;\t\u0111\u1eb7t\tnh\u1eefng m\u00e1y\t \u0111i\u1ec7n\t to\u00e1n;\t x\u1ebfp\t \u0111\u1eb7t\t tinh\t t\u01b0\u01a1m;\t v\u00e0\t b\u1eaft\t \u0111\u1ea7u\t l\u1eadp\t nh\u1eefng\t b\u1ea3n\t c\u00e2u\t h\u1ecfi\t v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng\tvi\u1ec7c\tc\u1ea7n\tthi\u1ebft\tkh\u00e1c. Trong\t khi\t nh\u00f3m\t l\u00e0m\t vi\u1ec7c\t \u0111ang\t b\u1eadn\t r\u1ed9n\t chu\u1ea9n\t b\u1ecb\t s\u1eb5n\t s\u00e0ng\t cho\t c\u1ed1\t g\u1eafng nghi\u00ean\t c\u1ee9u\t l\u1edbn\t c\u1ee7a\t h\u1ecd\t th\u00ec\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111i\u1ec1u\t khi\u1ec3n\t d\u1ef1\t \u00e1n\t quy\u1ebft\t \u0111\u1ecbnh\t \u0111i\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t nh\u00e0 thu\u1ed1c\t\u0111\u1ecba\tph\u01b0\u01a1ng\t\u0111\u1ec3\tu\u1ed1ng\tm\u1ed9t\tly\tc\u00e0\tph\u00ea.\u00d4ng\tta\tng\u1ed3i\txu\u1ed1ng\tc\u1ea1nh\tqu\u1ea7y,\tk\u00eau m\u1ed9t\tly\tc\u00e0\tph\u00ea,\tv\u00e0\ttrong\tkhi\t\u00f4ng\tta\tu\u1ed1ng\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\td\u01b0\u1ee3c\tph\u1ea9m \u00f4ng\tta\t\u1edf\t\u0111\u00e2y\tv\u00ec\tm\u1ee5c\t\u0111\u00edch\tg\u00ec,\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\th\u1ecfi\t\u00f4ng\tta\tc\u00f3\t\u00fd\tki\u1ebfn\tg\u00ec\tv\u00ec\tsao\tt\u1ec9\tl\u1ec7\tsinh\tl\u1ea1i cao.","\u201c\u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c,\u201d\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u00e1n\t d\u01b0\u1ee3c\t ph\u1ea9m\t n\u00f3i.\t \u201cM\u1ed7i\t bu\u1ed5i\t s\u00e1ng\t l\u00fac\t s\u00e1u\t gi\u1edd\t xe\t l\u1eeda\t \u0111i ngang\t\u0111\u00e2y\tv\u00e0\tn\u1ed5i\tc\u00f2i\t\u0111\u1ec3\tb\u0103ng\tqua.\tN\u00f3\t\u0111\u00e1ng\tth\u1ee9c\tm\u1ecdi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi,\tv\u00e0,\t\u0111\u1ea5y,\tl\u00fac\t\u1ea5y qu\u00e1\ttr\u1ec5\t\u0111\u1ec3\tng\u1ee7\tl\u1ea1i,\tv\u00e0\tqu\u00e1\ts\u1edbm\t\u0111\u1ec3\tra\tkh\u1ecfi\tgi\u01b0\u1eddng.\u201d 151\tHEARING\tVOICES A\t guy\t gets\t home\t from\t work\t one\t night\t and\t hears\t a\t voice.\t The\t voice\t says, \\\"Quit\tyour\tjob,\tsell\tyour\thouse,\ttake\tyour\tmoney,\tgo\tto\tVegas.\\\" The\tman\tis\tdisturbed\tat\twhat\the\thears\tand\tignores\tthe\tvoice. The\t next\t day\t when\t he\t gets\t home\t from\t work,\t the\t same\t thing\t happens.\t The voice\t tells\t him,\t \\\"Quit\t your\t job,\t sell\t your\t house,\t take\t your\t money,\t go\t to Vegas.\\\" Again\tthe\tman\tignores\tthe\tvoice,\tthough\the\tis\tvery\ttroubled\tby\tthe\tevent. Every\tday,\tday\tafter\tday,\tthe\tman\thears\tthe\tsame\tvoice\twhen\the\tgets\thome from\twork,\t\\\"Quit\tyour\tjob,\tsell\tyour\thouse,\ttake\tyour\tmoney,\tgo\tto\tVegas.\\\" Each\t time\t the\t man\t hears\t the\t voice\t he\t becomes\t increasingly\t upset.\t Finally, after\t two\t weeks,\t he\t succumbs\t to\t the\t pressure.He\t does\t quit\t his\t job,\t sells\t his house,\ttakes\this\tmoney\tand\theads\tto\tVegas. The\tmoment\tthe\tman\tgets\toff\tthe\tplane\tin\tVegas,\tthe\tvoice\ttells\thim,\t\\\"Go\tto Bally\ts.\\\" So,\the\thops\tin\ta\tcab\tand\trushes\tover\tto\tBally\ts.\tAs\tsoon\tas\the\tsets\tfoot\tin\tthe casino,\tthe\tvoice\ttells\thim,\t\\\"Go\tto\tthe\troulette\ttable.\\\"","The\tman\tdoes\tas\the\tis\ttold.\tWhen\the\tgets\tto\tthe\troulette\ttable,\tthe\tvoice\ttells him,\t\\\"Put\tall\tyour\tmoney\ton\t17.\\\" Nervously,\tthe\tman\tcashes\tin\this\tmoney\tfor\tchips\tand\tthen\tputs\tthem\tall\ton 17.\tThe\tdealer\twishes\tthe\tman\tgood\tluck\tand\tspins\tthe\troulette\twheel. The\t ball\t goes\t round\t and\t round.\t The\t man\t anxiously\t watches\t the\t ball\t as\t it slowly\tloses\tspeed\tuntil\tfinally\tit\tsettles\tinto\tnumber\t.\t.\t.\t21. The\tvoice\tsays,\t\\\"Shit...\\\" NH\u1eeeNG\tGI\u1eccNG\tN\u00d3I\tNGHE\t\u0110\u01af\u1ee2C V\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\tbu\u1ed5i\tt\u1ed1i,\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111i\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1ec1\tv\u00e0\tnghe\tm\u1ed9t\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i.Gi\u1ecdng n\u00e0y\t c\u1ea5t\t ti\u1ebfng:\u201d\t H\u00e3y\t b\u1ecf\t ngh\u1ec1,\t b\u00e1n\t nh\u00e0,\t l\u1ea5y\t ti\u1ec1n,\t \u0111i\t t\u1edbi\t Vegas\t (Las\t Vegas\t \u2013 th\u00e0nh\tph\u1ed1\tc\u1edd\tb\u1ea1c\tn\u1ed5i\tti\u1ebfng\tc\u1ee7a\tM\u1ef9\t\u2013\tND).\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tb\u1ed1i\tr\u1ed1i\tkhi\tnghe\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tn\u00e0y\tv\u00e0\tph\u1edbt\tl\u1edd\tn\u00f3. H\u00f4m\t sau\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111i\t l\u00e0m\t v\u1ec1,\t s\u1ef1\t vi\u1ec7c\t c\u0169ng\t x\u1ea3y\t ra\t nh\u01b0\t v\u1eady.Gi\u1ecdng\t n\u00f3i b\u1ea3o\tanh\tta:\u201dH\u00e3y\tb\u1ecf\tngh\u1ec1,\tb\u00e1n\tnh\u00e0,\tl\u1ea5y\tti\u1ec1n,\t\u0111i\tt\u1edbi\tVegas.\u201d M\u1ed9t\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tph\u1edbt\tl\u1edd,\tm\u1eb7c\td\u00f9\tanh\tta\tb\u0103n\tkho\u0103n\tv\u1ec1\ts\u1ef1\tvi\u1ec7c. M\u1ed7i\tng\u00e0y,\tng\u00e0y\tn\u1ecd\tsau\tng\u00e0y\tkia,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tnghe\tc\u00f9ng\tm\u1ed9t\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i\tkhi anh\tta\t\u0111i\tl\u00e0m\tv\u1ec1:\u201dH\u00e3y\tb\u1ecf\tngh\u1ec1,\tb\u00e1n\tnh\u00e0,\tl\u1ea5y\tti\u1ec1n,\t\u0111i\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tVegas.\u201d M\u1ed7i\tl\u1ea7n\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tnghe\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i,\t\u00f4ng\tta\tng\u00e0y\tc\u00e0ng\ttr\u1edf\tn\u00ean\tb\u1ed1i\tr\u1ed1i.Cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng,\t sau\t hai\t tu\u1ea7n,\t anh\t ta\t kh\u00f4ng\t ch\u1ecbu\t n\u1ed5i\t s\u1ee9c\t \u00e9p.\t Anh\t ta\t th\u1ef1c\t s\u1ef1\t b\u1ecf\t ngh\u1ec1,","b\u00e1n\tnh\u00e0,\tl\u1ea5y\tti\u1ec1n\tv\u00e0\t\u0111i\tth\u1eb3ng\tt\u1edbi\tVegas. V\u00e0o\t l\u00fac\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t r\u1eddi\t m\u00e1y\t bay\t \u1edf\t Vegas,\t gi\u1ecdng\t n\u00f3i\t b\u1ea3o\t anh\t ta:\u201d\u0110i\t t\u1edbi s\u00f2ng\tBally.\u201d V\u00ec\t th\u1ebf,\t anh\t ta\t nh\u1ea3y\t l\u00ean\t t\u1eafc\t xi\t v\u00e0\t ch\u1ea1y\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t s\u00f2ng\t Bally.\t Ngay\t khi\t anh\t ta\t v\u1eeba \u0111\u1eb7t\tch\u00e2n\txu\u1ed1ng\ts\u00f2ng\tb\u00e0i,\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i\tb\u1ea3o\tanh\tta:\u201d\tH\u00e3y\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tb\u00e0n\trulet.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tl\u00e0m\tnh\u01b0\tanh\tta\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tn\u00f3i.Khi\tanh\tta\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tb\u00e0n\trulet,\tgi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i b\u1ea3o\tanh\tta:\u201d\tH\u00e3y\t\u0111\u1eb7t\th\u1ebft\tti\u1ec1n\tv\u00e0o\ts\u1ed1\t17.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u1ed5i\t ti\u1ec1n\t l\u1ea5y\t ph\u1ec9nh\t v\u00e0\t \u0111\u1eb7t\t t\u1ea5t\t c\u1ea3\t v\u00e0o\t s\u1ed1\t 17\t m\u1ed9t\t c\u00e1ch\t lo l\u1eafng.Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tquay\trulet\tch\u00fac\tanh\tta\tmay\tm\u1eafn\tv\u00e0\tquay\tb\u00e1nh\txe\trulet. B\u00e0n\ttr\u00f2n\txoay\tv\u00f2ng\tv\u00f2ng.Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tlo\tl\u1eafng\tnh\u00ecn\tqu\u1ea3\tc\u1ea7u\ttrong\tl\u00fac\tn\u00f3\tt\u1eeb t\u1eeb\tgi\u1ea3m\tt\u1ed1c\t\u0111\u1ed9\tcho\tt\u1edbi\tkhi\tn\u00f3\td\u1eebng\tl\u1ea1i\t\u1edf\ts\u1ed1\t\u2026\t21. Gi\u1ecdng\tn\u00f3i\tl\u00ean\tti\u1ebfng:\u201dC\u1ee9c\tth\u1eadt\t\u2026\t\u201c 152\tORGANIC\tVEGETABLES The\tother\tday\tit\twas\tmy\tturn\tto\tprepare\tdinner\tso\tI\tasked\tmy\twife\tto\tgo\tover to\tthe\tlocal\tmarket\tand\tbuy\tsome\torganic\tvegetables. She\t came\t back\t rather\t upset.\t When\t I\t asked\t her\t what\t was\t wrong\t she\t said,\t \\\"I don\t t\t think\t I\t like\t that\t produce\t guy.\t I\t went\t and\t looked\t around\t for\t your organic\tvegetables\tand\tI\tcouldn\tt\tfind\tany.\tSo\tI\tasked\thim\twhere\tthe\torganic vegetables\twere. \\\"He\tdidn\tt\tknow\twhat\tI\twas\ttalking\tabout\tso\tI\tsaid,\tThese\tvegetables\tare\tfor","my\thusband.\tHave\tthey\tbeen\tsprayed\twith\tany\tpoisonous\tchemicals? \\\"And\the\tsaid,\tNo,\tma\tam.\tYou\tll\thave\tto\tdo\tthat\tyourself.\t\\\" RAU\tH\u1eeeU\tC\u01a0 V\u00e0o\t m\u1ed9t\t ng\u00e0y\t n\u1ecd,\t \u0111\u1ebfn\t l\u01b0\u1ee3t\t t\u00f4i\t chu\u1ea9n\t b\u1ecb\t b\u1eefa\t \u0103n,\t v\u00ec\t th\u1ebf\t t\u00f4i\t n\u00f3i\t v\u1ee3\t t\u00f4i\t \u0111i\t t\u1edbi si\u00eau\tth\u1ecb\t\u0111\u1ecba\tph\u01b0\u01a1ng\tv\u00e0\tmua\tm\u1ed9t\ts\u1ed1\trau\th\u1eefu\tc\u01a11. N\u00e0ng\tra\tv\u1ec1\th\u01a1i\tth\u1ea5t\tv\u1ecdng.\tKhi\tt\u00f4i\th\u1ecfi\tn\u00e0ng\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tg\u00ec\tx\u1ea3y\tra\tth\u00ec\tn\u00e0ng\t\u0111\u00e1p:\u201dEm kh\u00f4ng\tngh\u0129\tem\tth\u00edch\ts\u1ea3n\tph\u1ea9m\t\u0111\u00f3\tanh\t\u1ea1.Em\t\u0111i\tv\u00e0\tnh\u00ecn\tquanh\tt\u00ecm\trau\th\u1eefu\tc\u01a1 nh\u01b0ng\tem\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\tt\u00ecm\tra\tt\u00ed\tg\u00ec.V\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\tem\th\u1ecfi\t\u00f4ng\tnh\u00e2n\tvi\u00ean\tsi\u00eau\tth\u1ecb\trau\th\u1eefu c\u01a1\t\u1edf\t\u0111\u00e2u. \u201c\u00d4ng\tta\tkh\u00f4ng\tbi\u1ebft\tem\t\u0111ang\tn\u00f3i\tg\u00ec,\tv\u00ec\tth\u1ebf\tem\tn\u00f3i:\u201dNh\u1eefng\tth\u1ee9\trau\tn\u00e0y\td\u00e0nh cho\tch\u1ed3ng\tt\u00f4i.Ch\u00fang\tc\u00f3\tb\u1ecb\tx\u1ecbt\tnh\u1eefng\th\u00f3a\tch\u1ea5t\t\u0111\u1ed9c\th\u1ea1i\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d \u201cV\u00e0\t\u00f4ng\tta\tn\u00f3i:\u201dKh\u00f4ng,\tth\u01b0a\tb\u00e0.B\u00e0\tph\u1ea3i\tt\u1ef1\tl\u00e0m\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\t\u0111\u00f3.\u201d\u201d 153\tWHICH\tCOMPANY? A\tprofessor\twas\tgiving\ta\tlecture\ton\tcompany\tslogans\tin\ta\tcollege\tadvertising and\tmarketing\tclass. \\\"Joe,\\\"\the\tasked,\t\\\"which\tcompany\thas\tthe\tslogan,\tCome\tfly\tthe\tfriendly\tskies ?\\\" \\\"United.\\\"\tJoe\tanswered. \\\"Brenda,\tcan\tyou\ttell\tme\twhich\tcompany\thas\tthe\tslogan,\t\\\"Don\tt\tleave\thome","without\tit?\\\" Brenda\tanswered\tthe\tcorrect\tcredit\tcard\tcompany\twith\tno\tdifficulty. \\\"Now\tJohn,\tTell\tme\twhich\tcompany\tuses\tthe\tslogan,\tJust\tdo\tit\t?\\\" And\tJohn\tanswered,\t\\\"Mom.\\\" C\u00d4NG\tTY\tN\u00c0O? M\u1ed9t\t gi\u00e1o\t s\u01b0\t \u0111ang\t gi\u1ea3ng\t b\u00e0i\t v\u1ec1\t nh\u1eefng\t kh\u1ea9u\t hi\u1ec7u\t c\u00f4ng\t ty\t trong\t m\u1ed9t\t l\u1edbp\t cao \u0111\u1eb3ng\tv\u1ec1\tqu\u1ea3ng\tc\u00e1o\tv\u00e0\tmarketing. \u201cJoe,\u201d\t\u00f4ng\th\u1ecfi,\t\u201cc\u00f4ng\tty\tn\u00e0o\tc\u00f3\tkh\u1ea9u\thi\u1ec7u\t\u201c\u0110i\tbay\ttr\u00ean\tnh\u1eefng\tb\u1ea7u\ttr\u1eddi\tth\u00e2n thi\u1ec7n?\u201d \u201c\tUnited.\u201d\tJoe\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi \u201cBrenda,\t em\t c\u00f3\t th\u1ec3\t cho\t th\u1ea7y\t bi\u1ebft\t c\u00f4ng\t ty\t n\u00e0o\t c\u00f3\t kh\u1ea9u\t hi\u1ec7u\t \u201c\u0110\u1eebng\t r\u1eddi\t kh\u1ecfi nh\u00e0\tm\u00e0\tkh\u00f4ng\tmang\ttheo\tc\u00e1i\t\u0111\u00f3.\u201d Brenda\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00fang\tc\u00f4ng\tty\tth\u1ebb\tt\u00edn\td\u1ee5ng\tm\u00e0\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tkh\u00f3\tkh\u0103n\tg\u00ec. B\u00e2y\tgi\u1edd,\tJohn,\tcho\tt\u00f4i\tbi\u1ebft\tc\u00f4ng\tty\tn\u00e0o\td\u00f9ng\tkh\u1ea9u\thi\u1ec7u\t\u201cH\u00e3y\tl\u00e0m\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\t\u0111\u00f3\u201d?\u201d V\u00e0\tJohn\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi:\u201dM\u00e1.\u201d 154\tTAXES A\t visitor\t from\t Holland\t was\t chatting\t with\t his\t American\t friend\t and\t was","jokingly\texplaining\tabout\tthe\tred,\twhite\tand\tblue\tin\tthe\tNetherlands\tflag. \\\"Our\t flag\t symbolizes\t our\t taxes,\\\"\t he\t said.\\\"We\t get\t red\t when\t we\t talk\t about them,\twhite\twhen\twe\tget\tour\ttax\tbill,\tand\tblue\tafter\twe\tpay\tthem.\\\" \\\"That\ts\tthe\tsame\twith\tus,\\\"\tthe\tAmerican\tsaid,\t\\\"only\twe\tsee\tstars,\ttoo.\\\" THU\u1ebe M\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkh\u00e1ch\tt\u1eeb\tH\u00e0\tlan\t\u0111ang\tt\u00e1n\tg\u1eabu\tv\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u1ea1n\tM\u1ef9\tv\u00e0\tgi\u1ea3i\tth\u00edch m\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1ch\tb\u1ee1n\tc\u1ee3t\tv\u1ec1\tm\u00e0u\t\u0111\u1ecf,\ttr\u1eafng\tv\u00e0\txanh\ttr\u00ean\tc\u1edd\tH\u00e0\tlan. \u201cC\u1edd\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i\tt\u01b0\u1ee3ng\ttr\u01b0ng\tcho\tthu\u1ebf\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i,\u201d\tanh\tta\tn\u00f3i.Ch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i\t\u0111\u1ecf\tm\u1eb7t khi\t n\u00f3i\t v\u1ec1\t thu\u1ebf,\t tr\u1eafng\t b\u1ec7ch\t m\u1eb7t\t khi\t nh\u1eadn\t h\u00f3a\t \u0111\u01a1n\t thu\u1ebf\t v\u00e0\t xanh\t m\u1eb7t\t khi\t tr\u1ea3 ti\u1ec1n\tthu\u1ebf.\u201d \u201cCh\u00fang\t t\u00f4i\t c\u0169ng\t v\u1eady,\u201d\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t M\u1ef9\t n\u00f3i,\t \u201cth\u00eam\t v\u00e0o\t \u0111\u00f3,\t ch\u1ec9\t c\u00f3\t ch\u00fang\t t\u00f4i\t th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng\tng\u00f4i\tsao.\u201d 155\tWAKEUP\tCALL One\tnight\tat\tan\teconomy\tmotel,\tI\tordered\ta\t6:00\ta.m.\twake-up\tcall.\tThe\tnext morning,\tI\tawoke\tbefore\t6:00,\tbut\tthe\tphone\tdid\tnot\tring\tuntil\t6:30. \\\"Good\tmorning,\\\"\ta\tyoung\tman\tsaid\tsheepishly.\t\\\"This\tis\tyour\twake-up\tcall.\\\" Annoyed,\t I\t let\t the\t hotel\t worker\t have\t it.\t \\\"You\t were\t supposed\t to\t call\t me\t at 6:00\t AM!\\\"\t I\t complained.\t \\\"What\t if\t I\t had\t a\t million-dollar\t deal\t to\t close\t this morning,\tand\tyour\toversight\tmade\tme\tmiss\tout\ton\tit?\\\"","\\\"Well,\t sir,\\\"\t the\t desk\t clerk\t quickly\t replied,\t \\\"if\t you\t had\t a\t million-dollar\t deal to\tclose,\tyou\tprobably\twouldn\tt\tbe\tstaying\tin\tthis\tmotel!\\\" \u0110I\u1ec6N\tTHO\u1ea0I\tB\u00c1O\tTH\u1ee8C M\u1ed9t\t bu\u1ed5i\t t\u1ed1i\t t\u1ea1i\t m\u1ed9t\t motel1,\t t\u00f4i\t d\u1eb7n\t m\u1ed9t\t cu\u1ed9c\t g\u1ecdi\t b\u00e1o\t th\u1ee9c\t l\u00fac\t 6:00\t s\u00e1ng. S\u00e1ng\th\u00f4m\tsau,\tt\u00f4i\tth\u1ee9c\td\u1eady\ttr\u01b0\u1edbc\t6:00,\tnh\u01b0ng\t\u0111i\u1ec7n\ttho\u1ea1i\tkh\u00f4ng\treo\tcho\t\u0111\u1ebfn 6:30. \u201cXin\tch\u00e0o,\u201d\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\ttr\u1ebb\tng\u01b0\u1ee3ng\tng\u00f9ng\tn\u00f3i.\u201d\u0110\u00e2y\tl\u00e0\t\u0111i\u1ec7n\ttho\u1ea1i\tb\u00e1o th\u1ee9c\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng.\u201d B\u1ef1c\tm\u00ecnh,\tt\u00f4i\tquy\u1ebft\t\u0111\u1ecbnh\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\tnh\u00e2n\tvi\u00ean\tkh\u00e1ch\ts\u1ea1n.\t\u201cC\u00e1c\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tb\u00e1o\tl\u00e0 s\u1ebd\t g\u1ecdi\t t\u00f4i\t l\u00fac\t 6:00\t s\u00e1ng!\u201d\t t\u00f4i\t than\t phi\u1ec1n.\u201d\u0110i\u1ec1u\t g\u00ec\t s\u1ebd\t x\u1ea3y\t ra\t n\u1ebfu\t t\u00f4i\t c\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t th\u01b0\u01a1ng\tv\u1ee5\tm\u1ed9t\ttri\u1ec7u\t\u0111\u00f4\tla\tho\u00e0n\tt\u1ea5t\ts\u00e1ng\tnay,\tv\u00e0\ts\u01a1\tsu\u1ea5t\tc\u1ee7a\tc\u00e1c\t\u00f4ng\tl\u00e0m\tt\u00f4i l\u1ee1\tvi\u1ec7c?\u201d \u201cSao,\t th\u01b0a\t \u00f4ng,\u201d\t vi\u00ean\t th\u01b0\t k\u00fd\t nhanh\t mi\u1ec7ng\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi,\u201d\t n\u1ebfu\t \u00f4ng\t c\u00f3\t m\u1ed9t\t th\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u1ee5\tm\u1ed9t\ttri\u1ec7u\t\u0111\u00f4\tla\t\u0111\u1ec3\tho\u00e0n\tt\u1ea5t,\t\u00f4ng\th\u1eb3n\t\u0111\u00e3\tkh\u00f4ng\t\u1edf\ttrong\tmotel\tn\u00e0y!\u201d 156\tA\tSTORY\tABOUT\tMARK\tTWAIN [Supposedly\ta\ttrue\tstory...] James\tMcNeill\tWhistler\t(whose\tmost\tfamous\tpainting\tis\tpopularly\tknown\tas \\\"Whistler\ts\tMother\\\")\tis\treported\tto\thave\tdisplayed\ta\tjust\tcompleted\tpainting to\tMark\tTwain.","Twain\t looked\t at\t the\t painting\t judiciously\t from\t a\t variety\t of\t angles\t and distances\twhile\tWhistler\twaited\timpatiently\tfor\tthe\tverdict. Finally,\tTwain\tleaned\tforward\tand,\tmaking\tan\terasing\tgesture\twith\this\thand, said,\t\\\"I\td\teradicate\tthat\tcloud\tif\tI\twere\tyou.\\\" Whistler\tcried\tout\tin\tagony,\t\\\"Careful!\tThe\tpaint\tis\tstill\twet.\\\" \\\"That\ts\tall\tright,\\\"\tTwain\tsaid\tcoolly,\t\\\"I\tm\twearing\tgloves.\\\" M\u1ed8T\tC\u00c2U\tCHUY\u1ec6N\tV\u1ec0\tMARK\tTWAIN [\u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c\tcho\tl\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e2u\tchuy\u1ec7n\tc\u00f3\tth\u1eadt\t\u2026\t] James\t McNeill\t Whistler\t (ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t c\u00f3\t b\u1ee9c\t tranh\t n\u1ed5i\t ti\u1ebfng\t nh\u1ea5t\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t bi\u1ebft\t r\u1ed9ng r\u00e3i\td\u01b0\u1edbi\tt\u00ean\tg\u1ecdi\t\u201cM\u1eb9\tc\u1ee7a\tWhistler\u201d)\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tk\u1ec3\tl\u1ea1i\tl\u00e0\t\u0111\u00e3\tcho\tMark\tTwain\txem m\u1ed9t\tb\u1ee9c\ttranh\tv\u1eeba\tho\u00e0n\tt\u1ea5t. Twain\tth\u1eadn\ttr\u1ecdng\tnh\u00ecn\tv\u00e0o\tb\u1ee9c\ttranh\tt\u1eeb\tnhi\u1ec1u\tg\u00f3c\t\u0111\u1ed9\tv\u00e0\tt\u1ea7m\tnh\u00ecn\tkh\u00e1c\tnhau trong\tl\u00fac\tWhistler\tki\u00ean\tnh\u1eabn\tch\u1edd\tnghe\tnh\u1eadn\tx\u00e9t. Cu\u1ed1i\tc\u00f9ng,\tTwain\tc\u00fai\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tv\u00e0\tl\u00e0m\tm\u1ed9t\t\u0111\u1ed9ng\tt\u00e1c\tx\u00f3a\tb\u1eb1ng\ttay,\tn\u00f3i:\u201dT\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd x\u00f3a\t\u0111\u00e1m\tm\u00e2y\t\u0111\u00f3\tn\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tanh.\u201d Whistlet\tth\u00e9t\tto\t\u0111au\t\u0111\u1edbn:\u201dC\u1ea9n\tth\u1eadn!\tB\u1ee9c\ttranh\tv\u1eabn\tc\u00f2n\t\u01b0\u1edbt.\u201d \u201cKh\u00f4ng\tsao\t\u0111\u00e2u,\u201d\tTwain\tn\u00f3i\t\u0111i\u1ec1m\tnhi\u00ean,\t\u201cT\u00f4i\t\u0111ang\tmang\tg\u0103ng\ttay.\u201d 157\tTHAT\u2019S\tHOW\tYOU\u2019RE\tGOING\tTO\tLOOK","When\t I\t went\t to\t get\t my\t driver\t s\t license\t renewed,\t our\t local\t motor-vehicle bureau\t was\t packed.\t The\t line\t inched\t along\t for\t almost\t an\t hour\t until\t the\t man ahead\tof\tme\tfinally\tgot\this\tlicense. He\t inspected\t his\t photo\t for\t a\t moment\t and\t commented\t to\t the\t clerk,\t \\\"I\t was standing\tin\tline\tso\tlong,\tI\tended\tup\tlooking\tpretty\tgrouchy\tin\tthis\tpicture.\\\" The\tclerk\tlooked\tat\this\tpicture\tclosely,\tand\treassured\thim,\t\\\"It\ts\tokay.\tThat\ts how\tyou\tre\tgoing\tto\tlook\twhen\tthe\tcops\tpull\tyou\tover\tanyway.\\\" \u0110\u00d3\tS\u1ebc\tL\u00c0\tD\u00c1NG\tV\u1eba\tC\u1ee6A\t\u00d4NG Khi\tt\u00f4i\t\u0111i\tthay\tm\u1edbi\tb\u1eb1ng\tl\u00e1i\txe\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tth\u00ec\tv\u0103n\tph\u00f2ng\tm\u00f4\tt\u00f4-xe\tc\u1ed9\tch\u1eadt\tn\u00edch. D\u00f2ng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111i\tt\u1eebng\tb\u01b0\u1edbc\ttrong\tg\u1ea7n\tm\u1ed9t\tgi\u1edd\tcho\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tkhi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tph\u00eda tr\u00ean\tt\u00f4i\tcu\u1ed1i\tc\u00f9ng\tl\u1ea5y\tb\u1eb1ng\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tta. \u00d4ng\tta\txem\tx\u00e9t\tk\u1ef9\tt\u1ea5m\th\u00ecnh\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u00ecnh\ttrong\tm\u1ed9t\tl\u00fac\tv\u00e0\tnh\u1eadn\tx\u00e9t\tv\u1edbi\tvi\u00ean\tth\u01b0 k\u00fd:\u201d\t T\u00f4i\t \u0111\u00e3\t \u0111\u1ee9ng\t x\u1ebfp\t h\u00e0ng\t qu\u00e1\t l\u00e2u,\t cu\u1ed1i\t c\u00f9ng\t t\u00f4i\t tr\u00f4ng\t c\u00f3\t v\u1ebb\t kh\u00e1\t c\u00e1u\t k\u1ec9nh trong\tt\u1ea5m\th\u00ecnh\tn\u00e0y.\u201d Vi\u00ean\tth\u01b0\tk\u00fd\tnh\u00ecn\tk\u1ef9\tb\u1ee9c\ttranh\tv\u00e0\ttr\u1ea5n\tan\t\u00f4ng\tta\t:\u201d\tKh\u00f4ng\tsao\t\u0111\u00e2u.\tD\u00f9\tsao\t\u0111i n\u1eefa\t\u0111\u00f3\ts\u1ebd\tl\u00e0\td\u00e1ng\tv\u1ebb\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tkhi\tc\u1ea3nh\ts\u00e1t\td\u1eabn\t\u00f4ng\t\u0111i.\u201d 158\tTHINKING\tOF\tBEER Thought\tthis\twas\tparticularly\tapt\tfor\tme\tand\tWednesday\tafternoons... Sometimes\twhen\tI\treflect\tback\ton\tall\tthe\tbeer\tI\tdrink\tI\tfeel\tashamed.","Then\tI\tlook\tinto\tthe\tglass\tand\tthink\tabout\tthe\tworkers\tin\tthe\tbrewery\tand\tall of\ttheir\thopes\tand\tdreams. If\tI\tdidn\tt\tdrink\tthis\tbeer,\tthey\tmight\tbe\tout\tof\twork\tand\ttheir\tdreams\twould be\t shattered.\t Then\t I\t say\t to\t myself,\t \\\"It\t is\t better\t that\t I\t drink\t this\t beer\t and\t let their\tdreams\tcome\ttrue\tthan\tbe\tselfish\tand\tworry\tabout\tmy\treputation.\\\" NGH\u0128\tV\u1ec0\tBIA Ngh\u0129\tv\u1ec1\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tn\u00e0y\t\u0111\u1eb7c\tbi\u1ec7t\tth\u00edch\th\u1ee3p\tv\u1edbi\tt\u00f4i\tv\u00e0\tnh\u1eefng\tbu\u1ed5i\tchi\u1ec1u\tth\u1ee9\tt\u01b0\t\u2026 Th\u1ec9nh\ttho\u1ea3ng\tkhi\tt\u00f4i\tngh\u0129\tl\u1ea1i\tv\u1ec1\tt\u1ea5t\tc\u1ea3\ts\u1ed1\tbia\tt\u00f4i\tu\u1ed1ng,\tt\u00f4i\tc\u1ea3m\tth\u1ea5y\tx\u1ea5u\th\u1ed5. Sau\t\u0111\u00f3\tt\u00f4i\tnh\u00ecn\tv\u00e0o\tc\u00e1i\tly\tv\u00e0\tngh\u0129\tv\u1ec1\tnh\u1eefng\tc\u00f4ng\tnh\u00e2n\ttrong\tnh\u00e0\tm\u00e1y\tbia\tv\u00e0 t\u1ea5t\tc\u1ea3\tnh\u1eefng\thy\tv\u1ecdng\tv\u00e0\tm\u01a1\t\u01b0\u1edbc\tc\u1ee7a\th\u1ecd. N\u1ebfu\tt\u00f4i\t\u0111\u00e3\tkh\u00f4ng\tu\u1ed1ng\tbia\tn\u00e0y,\th\u1ecd\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\t\u0111\u00e3\tb\u1ecb\tth\u1ea5t\tnghi\u1ec7p\tv\u00e0\tnh\u1eefng\t\u01b0\u1edbc\tm\u01a1 c\u1ee7a\th\u1ecd\t\u0111\u00e3\tb\u1ecb\ttan\tv\u1ee1.\tSau\t\u0111\u00f3\tt\u00f4i\tt\u1ef1\tnh\u1ee7:\u201d\tT\u1ed1t\th\u01a1n\tt\u00f4i\tu\u1ed1ng\tbia\tn\u00e0y\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u1ec3\tgi\u1ea5c m\u01a1\th\u1ecd\tth\u00e0nh\ts\u1ef1\tth\u1eadt\th\u01a1n\tl\u00e0\t\u00edch\tk\u1ef7\tv\u00e0\tlo\tngh\u0129\tv\u1ec1\tthanh\tdanh\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i.\u201d 159\tBUSSINESS\tAND\tFISHING One\t day\t a\t fisherman\t was\t lying\t on\t a\t beautiful\t beach,\t with\t his\t fishing\t pole propped\t up\t in\t the\t sand.\t He\t was\t enjoying\t the\t warmth\t of\t the\t afternoon\t sun and\tthe\tprospect\tof\tcatching\ta\tfish. About\t that\t time,\t a\t businessman\t came\t walking\t down\t the\t beach,\t trying\t to","relieve\tsome\tof\tthe\tstress\tof\this\tworkday.\tHe\tnoticed\tthe\tfisherman\tsitting\ton the\tbeach\tand\tdecided\tto\tfind\tout\twhy\tthis\tfisherman\twas\tfishing\tinstead\tof working\tharder\tto\tmake\ta\tliving\tfor\thimself\tand\this\tfamily. \\\"You\taren\tt\tgoing\tto\tcatch\tmany\tfish\tthat\tway,\\\"\tsaid\tthe\tbusinessman\tto\tthe fisherman,\t\\\"you\tshould\tbe\tworking\trather\tthan\tlying\ton\tthe\tbeach!\\\" The\tfisherman\tlooked\tup\tat\tthe\tbusinessman,\tsmiled\tand\treplied,\t\\\"And\twhat will\tmy\treward\tbe?\\\" \\\"Well,\tyou\tcan\tget\tbigger\tnets\tand\tcatch\tmore\tfish!\\\"\twas\tthe\tbusinessman\ts answer. \\\"And\tthen\twhat\twill\tmy\treward\tbe?\\\"\tasked\tthe\tfisherman,\tstill\tsmiling. The\tbusinessman\treplied,\t\\\"You\twill\tmake\tmoney\tand\tyou\tll\tbe\table\tto\tbuy\ta boat,\t which\t will\t then\t result\t in\t larger\t catches\t of\t fish!\\\"\t \\\"And\t then\t what\t will my\treward\tbe?\\\"\tasked\tthe\tfisherman\tagain. The\t businessman\t was\t beginning\t to\t get\t a\t little\t irritated\t with\t the\t fisherman\t s questions.\t \\\"You\t can\t buy\t a\t bigger\t boat,\t and\t hire\t some\t people\t to\t work\t for you!\\\"\the\tsaid. \\\"And\tthen\twhat\twill\tmy\treward\tbe?\\\"\trepeated\tthe\tfisherman. The\tbusinessman\twas\tgetting\tangry.\t\\\"Don\tt\tyou\tunderstand?\tYou\tcan\tbuild up\ta\tfleet\tof\tfishing\tboats,\tsail\tall\tover\tthe\tworld,\tand\tlet\tall\tyour\temployees catch\tfish\tfor\tyou!\\\" Once\tagain\tthe\tfisherman\tasked,\t\\\"And\tthen\twhat\twill\tmy\treward\tbe?\\\"","The\tbusinessman\twas\tred\twith\trage\tand\tshouted\tat\tthe\tfisherman,\t\\\"Don\tt\tyou understand\tthat\tyou\tcan\tbecome\tso\trich\tthat\tyou\twill\tnever\thave\tto\twork\tfor your\t living\t again!\t You\t can\t spend\t all\t the\t rest\t of\t your\t days\t sitting\t on\t this beach,\tlooking\tat\tthe\tsunset.\tYou\twon\tt\thave\ta\tcare\tin\tthe\tworld!\\\" The\tfisherman,\tstill\tsmiling,\tlooked\tup\tand\tsaid,\t\\\"And\twhat\tdo\tyou\tthink\tI\tm doing\tright\tnow?\\\" L\u00c0M\t\u0102N\tV\u00c0\tC\u00c2U\tC\u00c1 M\u1ed9t\tng\u00e0y\tkia,\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\t\u0111ang\tn\u1eb1m\ttr\u00ean\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u00e3i\tbi\u1ec3n\t\u0111\u1eb9p\tv\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u1ea7n c\u00e2u\tc\u1eafm\ttr\u00ean\tc\u00e1t.\t\u00d4ng\tta\t\u0111ang\th\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u00e1i\t\u1ea5m\t\u00e1p\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u1eb7t\ttr\u1eddi\tchi\u1ec1u\tv\u00e0\ts\u1ef1\tch\u1edd \u0111\u1ee3i\tb\u1eaft\tm\u1ed9t\tcon\tc\u00e1. V\u00e0o\tl\u00fac\t\u0111\u00f3,\tm\u1ed9t\tth\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\t\u0111i\txu\u1ed1ng\tb\u00e3i\tbi\u1ec3n,\tc\u1ed1\tg\u1eafng\tl\u00e0m\td\u1ecbu\t\u0111i\tph\u1ea7n\tn\u00e0o c\u01a1n\tstress\tc\u1ee7a\tng\u00e0y\tl\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c.\t\u00d4ng\tta\tch\u00fa\t\u00fd\tth\u1ea5y\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tng\u1ed3i tr\u00ean\tb\u00e3i\tbi\u1ec3n\tv\u00e0\tquy\u1ebft\t\u0111\u1ecbnh\tt\u00ecm\tra\tt\u1ea1i\tsao\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tn\u00e0y\t\u0111i\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tthay\tv\u00ec l\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c\tch\u0103m\tch\u1ec9\th\u01a1n\t\u0111\u1ec3\tki\u1ebfm\ts\u1ed1ng\tcho\tb\u1ea3n\tth\u00e2n\t\u00f4ng\tta\tv\u00e0\tgia\t\u0111\u00ecnh. \u201c\u00d4ng\ts\u1ebd\tkh\u00f4ng\tb\u1eaft\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tcon\tc\u00e1\tn\u00e0o\ttheo\tki\u1ec3u\t\u0111\u00f3,\u201d\tth\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\tn\u00f3i\tv\u1edbi\tng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00e2u\tc\u00e1,\t\u201c\u00f4ng\tn\u00ean\tl\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c\th\u01a1n\tl\u00e0\tn\u1eb1m\ttr\u00ean\tb\u00e3i\tbi\u1ec3n!\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tnh\u00ecn\tl\u00ean\tth\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia,\tm\u1ec9m\tc\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e1p:\u201dV\u00e0\tph\u1ea7n\tth\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0 g\u00ec?\u201d \u201c\u00c0,\t\u00f4ng\ts\u1ebd\tc\u00f3\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tnh\u1eefng\tt\u1ea5m\tl\u01b0\u1edbi\tl\u1edbn\th\u01a1n\tv\u00e0\tb\u1eaft\tnhi\u1ec1u\tc\u00e1\th\u01a1n!\u201d\tl\u00e0\tc\u00e2u\ttr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi\tc\u1ee7a\tth\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia. \u201cV\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tph\u1ea7n\tth\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tg\u00ec?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\th\u1ecfi\ttrong\tkhi\tv\u1eabn\tm\u1ec9m","c\u01b0\u1eddi. Th\u01b0\u01a1ng\t gia\t \u0111\u00e1p:\u201d\u00d4ng\t s\u1ebd\t l\u00e0m\t ra\t ti\u1ec1n\t v\u00e0\t \u00f4ng\t s\u1ebd\t c\u00f3\t th\u1ec3\t mua\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t m\u1ed9t\t chi\u1ebfc t\u00e0u,\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tk\u1ebft\tqu\u1ea3\tl\u00e0\tb\u1eaft\tnhi\u1ec1u\tc\u00e1\th\u01a1n\tn\u1eefa!\u201d\t\u201cV\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tph\u1ea7n\tth\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i l\u00e0\tg\u00ec?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tl\u1ea1i\th\u1ecfi. Th\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\tb\u1eaft\t\u0111\u1ea7u\th\u01a1i\tb\u1ef1c\tm\u00ecnh\tv\u1edbi\tnh\u1eefng\tc\u00e2u\th\u1ecfi\tc\u1ee7a\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1.\t\u201c\u00d4ng c\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tmua\tchi\u1ebfc\tt\u00e0u\tl\u1edbn\th\u01a1n,\tv\u00e0\tthu\u00ea\tm\u1ed9t\ts\u1ed1\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tl\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c\tcho\t\u00f4ng!\u201d\t\u00f4ng ta\tn\u00f3i. \u201cV\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tph\u1ea7n\tth\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tg\u00ec?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tl\u1eb7p\tl\u1ea1i. Th\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\ttr\u1edf\tn\u00ean\tgi\u1eadn\td\u1eef.\u201d\u00d4ng\tkh\u00f4ng\thi\u1ec3u\tsao?\t\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tx\u00e2y\td\u1ef1ng\tm\u1ed9t \u0111o\u00e0n\tt\u00e0u,\tch\u1ea1y\tkh\u1eafp\tth\u1ebf\tgi\u1edbi,\tv\u00e0\t\u0111\u1ec3\tt\u1ea5t\tc\u1ea3\tnh\u1eefng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tl\u00e0m\tc\u00f4ng\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tb\u1eaft c\u00e1\tcho\t\u00f4ng!\u201d M\u1ed9t\tl\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\th\u1ecfi:\u201dV\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tph\u1ea7n\tth\u01b0\u1edfng\tc\u1ee7a\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tg\u00ec?\u201d Th\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\t\u0111\u1ecf\tm\u1eb7t\tgi\u1eadn\td\u1eef\tv\u00e0\tth\u00e9t\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1eb7t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1:\u201d\t\u00d4ng\tkh\u00f4ng\thi\u1ec3u r\u1eb1ng\t\u00f4ng\ts\u1ebd\ttr\u1edf\tn\u00ean\tr\u1ea5t\tgi\u00e0u\tc\u00f3\t\u0111\u1ebfn\tn\u1ed7i\t\u00f4ng\ts\u1ebd\tkh\u00f4ng\tbao\tgi\u1edd\tph\u1ea3i\tl\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c ki\u1ebfm\ts\u1ed1ng\tn\u1eefa!\t\u00d4ng\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\td\u00f9ng\tnh\u1eefng\tng\u00e0y\tc\u00f2n\tl\u1ea1i\tng\u1ed3i\ttr\u00ean\tb\u00e3i\tbi\u1ec3n\tn\u00e0y, ng\u1eafm\tho\u00e0ng\th\u00f4n.\t\u00d4ng\ts\u1ebd\tkh\u00f4ng\tlo\tl\u1eafng\tg\u00ec\ttrong\tth\u1ebf\tgi\u1edbi\tn\u00e0y!\u201d V\u1eabn\tm\u1ec9m\tc\u01b0\u1eddi,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tc\u00e2u\tc\u00e1\tnh\u00ecn\tl\u00ean\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i:\u201dV\u00e0\t\u00f4ng\tngh\u0129\tg\u00ec\tv\u1ec1\tvi\u1ec7c t\u00f4i\t\u0111ang\tl\u00e0m\tl\u00fac\tn\u00e0y?\u201d 160\tWHAT\tDID\tHE\tUNDERSTAND? Two\tAmerican\twomen\tstopping\tat\tthe\tHotel\tin\tLisbon\twanted\tanother\tchair in\t their\t room.\t The\t steward\t who\t answered\t their\t ring\t could\t not\t understand","English. One\t of\t the\t women\t pointed\t to\t the\t only\t chair\t in\t the\t room,\t then\t tried pantomime,\tseating\therself\tin\tan\timaginary\tchair. With\t a\t knowing\t smile,\t the\t steward\t bowed\t and\t motioned\t for\t her\t to\t follow him.\t At\t the\t end\t of\t the\t corridor,\t he\t stopped,\t smiled,\t and\t bowed\t again,\t and pointed\ttriumphantly\tto\tthe\tdoor\tof\tthe\tLadies\tRoom. ANH\tTA\t\u0110\u00c3\tHI\u1ec2U\tG\u00cc? Hai\tph\u1ee5\tn\u1eef\tM\u1ef9\t\u1edf\tl\u1ea1i\tt\u1ea1i\tm\u1ed9t\tkh\u00e1ch\ts\u1ea1n\t\u1edf\tLisbon\tmu\u1ed1n\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1i\tgh\u1ebf\tn\u1eefa\ttrong ph\u00f2ng\th\u1ecd.\tNg\u01b0\u1eddi\tph\u1ee5c\tv\u1ee5\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi\t\u0111i\u1ec7n\ttho\u1ea1i\tkh\u00f4ng\thi\u1ec3u\tti\u1ebfng\tAnh.M\u1ed9t\ttrong hai\t ph\u1ee5\t n\u1eef\t ch\u1ec9\t v\u00e0o\t chi\u1ebfc\t gh\u1ebf\t duy\t nh\u1ea5t\t trong\t ph\u00f2ng,\t sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t c\u1ed1\t \u201cdi\u1ec5n\t k\u1ecbch c\u00e2m\u201d,\tt\u1ef1\tng\u1ed3i\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\tchi\u1ebfc\tgh\u1ebf\tt\u01b0\u1edfng\tt\u01b0\u1ee3ng. V\u1edbi\t m\u1ed9t\t n\u1ee5\t c\u01b0\u1eddi\t hi\u1ec3u\t bi\u1ebft,\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t ph\u1ee5c\t v\u1ee5\t c\u00fai\t ch\u00e0o\t v\u00e0\t ra\t hi\u1ec7u\t cho\t c\u00f4\t ta\t \u0111i theo\tanh\tta.T\u1edbi\tcu\u1ed1i\th\u00e0nh\tlang,\tanh\tta\td\u1eebng\tl\u1ea1i,\tm\u1ec9m\tc\u01b0\u1eddi,\tv\u00e0\tcu\u1ed1i\tch\u00e0o\tl\u1ea7n n\u1eefa,\tv\u00e0\thoan\th\u1ec9\tch\u1ec9\tv\u00e0o\tc\u00e1nh\tc\u1eeda\tph\u00f2ng\tv\u1ec7\tsinh\tn\u1eef. 161\tHOW\tDID\tTHE\tFLORIST\tDIFFUSE THE\tBUSINESSMAN\u2019S\tANGER? A\tnew\tbusiness\twas\topening\tand\tone\tof\tthe\towner\ts\tfriends\twanted\tto\tsend flowers\tfor\tthe\toccasion.\tThey\tarrived\tat\tthe\tnew\tbusiness\tsite\tand\tthe\towner read\t the\t card.\t It\t said,\t \\\"Rest\t in\t Peace.\\\"\t The\t owner\t was\t angry\t and\t called\t the florist\tto\tcomplain.\tHe\tlet\tthe\tflorist\tknow\tin\tno\tuncertain\tterms\thow\tangry he\twas\tabout\tthe\tobvious\tmistake.","The\t florist\t wisely\t diffused\t the\t man\t s\t anger\t when\t she\t calmly\t said,\t \\\"Sir,\t I\t m really\t sorry\t for\t the\t mistake,\t but\t just\t imagine\t this...\t somewhere\t there\t is\t a funeral\t taking\t place\t today,\t and\t they\t have\t flowers\t with\t a\t note\t saying, \\\"Congratulations\ton\tyour\tnew\tlocation!\\\" NG\u01af\u1edcI\tB\u00c1N\tHOA\tL\u00c0M\tGI\u1ea2M\tC\u01a0N\tGI\u1eacN\tD\u1eee\tC\u1ee6A\tTH\u01af\u01a0NG\tGIA NH\u01af\tTH\u1ebe\tN\u00c0O? M\u1ed9t\tth\u01b0\u01a1ng\tgia\tm\u1edf\tc\u1eeda\th\u00e0ng\tv\u00e0\tnh\u1eefng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u1ea1n\tc\u1ee7a\t\u00f4ng\tch\u1ee7\tmu\u1ed1n\tg\u1eedi\thoa trong\t d\u1ecbp\t n\u00e0y.Hoa\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t \u0111\u01b0a\t t\u1edbi\t \u0111i\u1ec3m\t kinh\t doanh\t m\u1edbi\t v\u00e0\t \u00f4ng\t ch\u1ee7\t \u0111\u1ecdc\t t\u1ea5m c\u1ea1c.\t Trong\t \u0111\u00f3\t vi\u1ebft:\u201d\t Y\u00ean\t ngh\u1ec9\t trong\t t\u0129nh\t l\u1eb7ng.\u201d\t \u00d4ng\t ch\u1ee7\t n\u1ed5i\t gi\u1eadn\t v\u00e0\t g\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\thoa\tt\u1edbi\t\u0111\u1ec3\tthan\tphi\u1ec1n.\u00d4ng\tta\tcho\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\thoa\tbi\u1ebft\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1ch\tqu\u1ea3 quy\u1ebft\tl\u00e0\t\u00f4ng\tta\tgi\u1eadn\td\u1eef\tnh\u01b0\tth\u1ebf\tn\u00e0o\tv\u1ec1\tc\u00e1i\tl\u1ed7i\tr\u00e0nh\tr\u00e0nh\tkia. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\thoa\tkh\u00f4n\tngoan\tl\u00e0m\tgi\u1ea3m\tc\u01a1n\tgi\u1eadn\tc\u1ee7a\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tkhi\tc\u00f4\tta \u0111i\u1ec1m\t t\u0129nh\t n\u00f3i:\u201dTh\u01b0a\t \u00f4ng,\t t\u00f4i\t th\u1eadt\t s\u1ef1\t l\u1ea5y\t l\u00e0m\t ti\u1ebfc\t v\u1ec1\t sai\t s\u00f3t\t n\u00e0y,\t nh\u01b0ng\t ch\u1ec9 c\u1ea7n\tt\u01b0\u1edfng\tt\u01b0\u1ee3ng\t\u0111i\u1ec1u\tn\u00e0y\t\u2026\t\u1edf\tn\u01a1i\tn\u00e0o\t\u0111\u00f3\tc\u00f3\tm\u1ed9t\t\u0111\u00e1m\ttang\tdi\u1ec5n\tra\th\u00f4m\tnay, v\u00e0\th\u1ecd\tnh\u1eadn\tv\u00f2ng\thoa\tv\u1edbi\td\u00f2ng\tch\u1eef\t:\u201dCh\u00fac\tm\u1eebng\t\u0111\u1ecba\t\u0111i\u1ec3m\tm\u1edbi\tc\u1ee7a\tb\u1ea1n!\u201d 162\tSTUDENTS\tAND\tTHE\tWAYS\tTHEY\tSAY \u201cGOOD\tMORNING\u201d When\tI\tfirst\tstarted\tcollege,\tthe\tDean\tcame\tin\tand\tsaid,\t\\\"Good\tMorning\\\"\tto all\t of\t us.\t When\t we\t echoed\t back\t to\t him,\t he\t responded\t \\\"Ah,\t you\t re Freshmen.\\\" He\texplained.\t\\\"When\tyou\twalk\tin\tand\tsay\tgood\tmorning,\tand\tthey\tsay\tgood morning\t back,\t it\t s\t Freshmen.\t When\t they\t put\t their\t newspapers\t down\t and open\t their\t books,\t it\t s\t Sophomores.\t When\t they\t look\t up\t so\t they\t can\t see\t the","instructor\tover\tthe tops\tof\tthe\tnewspapers,\tit\ts\tjuniors.\tWhen\tthey\tput\ttheir\tfeet\tup\ton\tthe\tdesks and\tkeep\treading,\tit\ts\tseniors.\\\" \\\"When\t you\t walk\t in\t and\t say\t good\t morning,\t and\t they\t write\t it\t down,\t it\t s graduate\tstudents.\\\" SINH\tVI\u00caN\tV\u00c0\tC\u00c1CH\tH\u1ecc\tN\u00d3I\t\u201cGOOD\tMORNING\u201d Khi\t t\u00f4i\t l\u1ea7n\t b\u1eaft\t \u0111\u1ea7u\t \u0111\u1ea1i\t h\u1ecdc,\t th\u1ea7y\t tr\u01b0\u1edfng\t khoa\t b\u01b0\u1edbc\t v\u00e0o\t v\u00e0\t n\u00f3i:\u201dXin\t ch\u00e0o\u201d v\u1edbi\tt\u1ea5t\tc\u1ea3\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i.\tKhi\tch\u00fang\tt\u00f4i\tl\u1eb7p\tl\u1ea1i\tl\u1eddi\t\u1ea5y\tv\u1edbi\tth\u1ea7y,\tth\u1ea7y\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi:\u201dA,\tc\u00e1c b\u1ea1n\tl\u00e0\tnh\u1eefng\tt\u00e2n\tsinh\tvi\u00ean.\u201d \u201cTh\u1ea7y\t gi\u1ea3i\t th\u00edch:\u201dKhi\t b\u1ea1n\t b\u01b0\u1edbc\t v\u00e0o\t v\u00e0\t n\u00f3i\t xin\t ch\u00e0o,\t v\u00e0\t sinh\t vi\u00ean\t n\u00f3i\t xin ch\u00e0o\ttr\u1edf\tl\u1ea1i\tth\u00ec\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tsinh\tvi\u00ean\tm\u1edbi.\tKhi\th\u1ecd\t\u0111\u1eb7t\tnh\u1eefng\tt\u1edd\tb\u00e1o\tc\u1ee7a\th\u1ecd\txu\u1ed1ng\tv\u00e0 l\u1eadt\ts\u00e1ch\tth\u00ec\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tsinh\tvi\u00ean\tn\u0103m\thai.\tKhi\th\u1ecd\tnh\u00ecn\tl\u00ean\tsao\tcho\tc\u00f3\tth\u1ec3\tnh\u00ecn\tth\u1ea5y gi\u1ea3ng\tvi\u00ean\tqua\t\u0111\u1ea7u\tnh\u1eefng\tt\u1edd\tb\u00e1o\tc\u1ee7a\th\u1ecd\tth\u00ec\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tsinh\tvi\u00ean\tn\u0103m\t\u00e1p\tch\u00f3t.\tKhi h\u1ecd\t\u0111\u1eb7t\tch\u00e2n\tl\u00ean\tb\u00e0n\tv\u00e0\tv\u1eabn\tti\u1ebfp\tt\u1ee5c\t\u0111\u1ecdc\tth\u00ec\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tsinh\tvi\u00ean\tn\u0103m\tcu\u1ed1i.\u201d \u201cKhi\tb\u1ea1n\tb\u01b0\u1edbc\tv\u00e0o\tv\u00e0\tn\u00f3i\txin\tch\u00e0o,\tv\u00e0\th\u1ecd\tvi\u1ebft\txu\u1ed1ng\tth\u00ec\t\u0111\u00f3\tl\u00e0\tsinh\tvi\u00ean\tt\u1ed1t nghi\u1ec7p.\u201d 163\tWHO\tWAS\tSURPRISED\t? The\tFather,\tpassing\tthru\tthe\tson\ts\tcollege\ttown\tlate\tone\tnight\ton\ta\tbusiness trip,\tthought\the\twould\tpay\ta\tsurprise\tvisit\tto\tthe\tboy. Arriving\t at\t the\t fraternity\t house,\t he\t knocked\t on\t the\t door.After\t several minutes\t of\t knocking,\t a\t sleepy\t voice\t drifted\t down\t from\t a\t second\t floor","window.\t\\\"Whaddya\twant?\\\" \\\"Does\tJimmy\tDuncan\tlive\there?\\\"\tasked\tthe\tfather. \\\"Yeah!\\\"\treplied\tthe\tvoice.\t\\\"Dump\thim\ton\tthe\tfront\tporch\tand\twe\tll\ttake\tcare of\thim\tin\tthe\tmorning.\\\" AI\tNG\u1ea0C\tNHI\u00caN? Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t cha,\t v\u00e0o\t m\u1ed9t\t \u0111\u00eam\t kia\t \u0111i\t qua\t th\u00e0nh\t ph\u1ed1\t \u0111\u1ea1i\t h\u1ecdc\t c\u1ee7a\t con\t trai\t nh\u00e2n chuy\u1ebfn\t\u0111i\tl\u00e0m\t\u0103n,\tngh\u0129\tr\u1eb1ng\t\u00f4ng\tta\ts\u1ebd\tg\u00e2y\tm\u1ed9t\tl\u1ea7n\tgh\u00e9\tth\u0103m\tng\u1ea1c\tnhi\u00ean\t\u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi\tcon\ttrai. \u0110\u1ebfn\t nh\u00e0\t h\u1ed9i\t nam\t sinh\t vi\u00ean\t \u0111\u1ea1i\t h\u1ecdc,\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t g\u00f5\t c\u1eeda.Sau\t m\u1ed9t\t v\u00e0i\t ph\u00fat,\t m\u1ed9t gi\u1ecdng\tng\u00e1i\tng\u1ee7\tv\u1ecdng\txu\u1ed1ng\tt\u1eeb\tc\u1eeda\ts\u1ed5\tt\u1ea7ng\thai.\t\u201cCh\u00fa\tmu\u1ed1n\t\u2026u\u1ed1n\u2026\tg\u00ec?\u201d \u201cJimmy\tDuncan\tc\u00f3\t\u1edf\t\u0111\u00e2y\tkh\u00f4ng?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tcha\th\u1ecfi. \u201cD\u1ea1\tc\u00f3!\u201d\tv\u1eabn\tgi\u1ecdng\t\u0111\u00f3\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi.\u201dH\u00e3y\tqu\u0103ng\tn\u00f3\txu\u1ed1ng\th\u00e8\ttr\u01b0\u1edbc\tr\u1ed3i\tt\u1ee5i\tch\u00e1u\ts\u1ebd lo\tcho\tn\u00f3\ts\u00e1ng\tmai.\u201d 164\tI\u2019M\tAFRAID\t\u2026 A\t robust-looking\t gentleman\t ate\t a\t fine\t meal\t at\t an\t expensive\t restaurant\t and topped\tit\toff\twith\tsome\tNapoleon\tbrandy,\tthen\the\tsummoned\tthe\theadwaiter. \\\"Do\tyou\trecall,\\\"\the\tasked\tpleasantly,\t\\\"how\ta\tyear\tago,\tI\tate\tjust\tsuch\ta\trepast here and\tthen,\tbecause\tI\tcouldn\tt\tpay\tfor\tit,\tyou\thad\tme\tthrown\tinto\tthe\tgutter\tlike a\tcommon\tbum?\\\"","\\\"I\tm\tvery\tsorry\tsir.\\\"\tbegan\tthe\tcontrite\theadwaiter. \\\"Oh,\t it\t s\t quite\t all\t right.\\\"\t said\t the\t guest,\t \\\"but\t I\t m\t afraid\t I\t ll\t have\t to\t trouble you\tagain...\\\" T\u00d4I\tE\tR\u1eb0NG\t\u2026 M\u1ed9t\tqu\u00fd\t\u00f4ng\tb\u1ec1\tngo\u00e0i\tc\u01b0\u1eddng\ttr\u00e1ng\t\u0103n\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u1eefa\tngon\tl\u00e0nh\ttrong\tm\u1ed9t\tnh\u00e0\th\u00e0ng \u0111\u1eaft\t ti\u1ec1n\t v\u00e0\t tr\u00e1ng\t mi\u1ec7ng\t v\u1edbi\t m\u1ed9t\t v\u00e0i\t ly\t r\u01b0\u1ee3u\t Napoleon,\t sau\t \u0111\u00f3\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t g\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t qu\u1ea3n\t l\u00fd.\u201d\u00d4ng\t c\u00f3\t nh\u1edb\t kh\u00f4ng,\u201d\t \u00f4ng\t ta\t h\u1ecfi\t m\u1ed9t\t c\u00e1ch\t th\u00e2n\t m\u1eadt,\t \u201csao\t \u0111\u00f3 m\u1ed9t\tn\u0103m\ttr\u01b0\u1edbc\t\u0111\u00e2y,\tt\u00f4i\td\u00f9ng\tch\u1ec9\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u1eefa\t\u0103n\tnh\u01b0\tth\u1ebf\tn\u00e0y\t\u1edf\t\u0111\u00e2y\tv\u00e0\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3,\tv\u00ec t\u00f4i\t kh\u00f4ng\t th\u1ec3\t tr\u1ea3\t ti\u1ec1n,\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111\u00e3\t qu\u0103ng\t t\u00f4i\t v\u00e0o\t r\u00e3nh\t n\u01b0\u1edbc\t nh\u01b0\t m\u1ed9t\t t\u00ean\t \u0103n\t m\u00e0y th\u01b0\u1eddng\tth\u1ea5y?\u201d \u201cT\u00f4i\tr\u1ea5t\tl\u1ea5y\tl\u00e0m\tbu\u1ed3n\tth\u01b0a\t\u00f4ng,\u201d\tvi\u00ean\tqu\u1ea3n\tl\u00fd\th\u1ed1i\th\u1eadn\tb\u1eaft\t\u0111\u1ea7u. \u201c\u1ed2,\tkh\u00f4ng\tsao\th\u1ebft.\u201d\tkh\u00e1ch\tn\u00f3i,\t\u201cnh\u01b0ng\tt\u00f4i\te\tr\u1eb1ng\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\tph\u1ea3i\tl\u00e0m\tphi\u1ec1n\t\u00f4ng l\u1ea7n\tn\u1eefa\u2026\u201d 165\tWRITE\tMORE\tLEGIBLY! An\t English\t teacher\t often\t wrote\t little\t notes\t on\t student\t essays.She\t was working\t late\t one\t night,\t and\t as\t the\t hours\t passed,\t her\t handwriting deteriorated. The\t next\t day\t a\t student\t came\t to\t her\t after\t class\t with\t his\t essay\t she\t had corrected.\t\\\"I\tcan\tt\tmake\tout\tthis\tcomment\tyou\twrote\ton\tmy\tpaper.\\\" The\tteacher\ttook\tthe\tpaper,\tand\tafter\tsquinting\tat\tit\tfor\ta\tminute,\tsheepishly","replied,\t\\\"It\tsays\tthat\tyou\tneed\tto\twrite\tmore\tlegibly!\\\" H\u00c3Y\tVI\u1ebeT\tD\u1ec4\t\u0110\u1eccC\tH\u01a0N! M\u1ed9t\tgi\u00e1o\tvi\u00ean\tti\u1ebfng\tAnh\tth\u01b0\u1eddng\tvi\u1ebft\tm\u1ed9t\t\u00edt\tghi\tch\u00fa\ttr\u00ean\tc\u00e1c\tb\u00e0i\tlu\u1eadn\tc\u1ee7a\th\u1ecdc sinh.\tM\u1ed9t\tbu\u1ed5i\tt\u00f4\u00ed\tc\u00f4\tta\tl\u00e0m\tvi\u1ec7c\ttr\u1ec5,\tv\u00e0\ttrong\tkhi\tth\u1eddi\tgian\ttr\u00f4i\tqua,\tch\u1eef\tvi\u1ebft c\u1ee7a\tc\u00f4\tta\td\u1ea7n\tth\u00e1u\t\u0111i. H\u00f4m\t sau\t m\u1ed9t\t sinh\t vi\u00ean\t \u0111i\t g\u1eb7p\t c\u00f4\t ta\t sau\t gi\u1edd\t h\u1ecdc\t v\u1edbi\t b\u00e0i\t lu\u1eadn\t c\u00f4\t ta\t \u0111\u00e3 s\u1eeda.\u201dEm\tkh\u00f4ng\tth\u1ec3\t\u0111\u1ecdc\t\u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\tl\u1eddi\tnh\u1eadn\tx\u00e9t\tc\u00f4\t\u0111\u00e3\tvi\u1ebft\ttr\u00ean\tb\u00e0i\tem.\u201d C\u00f4\tgi\u00e1o\tc\u1ea7m\tb\u00e0i\tvi\u1ebft,\tv\u00e0\tsau\tkhi\tnh\u00ecn\tqua\ttrong\tm\u1ed9t\tph\u00fat\tng\u01b0\u1ee3ng\tng\u00f9ng\ttr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi:\u201dD\u00f2ng\tch\u1eef\tvi\u1ebft\tr\u1eb1ng\tem\tc\u1ea7n\tph\u1ea3i\tvi\u1ebft\td\u1ec5\t\u0111\u1ecdc\th\u01a1n!\u201d 166\tWHY\u2019D\tI\tGET\tMY\tFACE\tSLAPPED? An\t old\t woman,\t a\t young\t woman,\t and\t Englishman,\t and\t an\t Irishman\t are travelling\t in\t the\t compartment\t of\t a\t train\t together\t across\t the\t British countryside.\tEach\tof\tthe\tfour\tof\tthem\tis\tignoring\tthe\tother\tthree. Suddenly,\tthe\ttrain\tenters\ta\ttunnel,\tand\tthe\tcompartment\tis\tthrown\tinto\tpitch blackness.\tOut\tof\tthe\tdarkness\tcomes\tthe\tsound\tof\ta\tkiss,\tthen\tthe\tsound\tof\ta slap. The\t train\t leaves\t the\t tunnel,\t and\t the\t travellers\t act\t as\t though\t nothing happened. The\told\twoman,\thowever,\tis\tthinking\tto\therself,\t\\\"Look\tat\tthat\tyoung\twoman","sitting\t there\t next\t to\t me,\t acting\t as\t if\t nothing\t happened.\t I\t KNOW\t the Englishman\tkissed\ther.\\\" The\t young\t woman\t is\t thinking\t to\t herself,\t \\\"Why\t would\t an\t Irishman\t kiss\t an old\tlady?\\\" The\t Englishman\t is\t thinking\t to\t himself,\t \\\"I\t didn\t t\t to\t anything!\t Why\t d\t I\t get MY\tface\tslapped?\\\" And\t the\t Irishman\t is\t thinking\t to\t himself,\t \\\"How\t do\t you\t like\t that?\t I\t kiss\t the back\tof\tmy\thand,\tslap\tan\tEnglishman\tin\tthe\tface\tand\tget\taway\twith\tit!\\\" T\u1ea0I\tSAO\tTA\tB\u1eca\tT\u00c1T\tV\u00c0O\tM\u1eb6T? M\u1ed9t\tb\u00e0\tl\u00e3o,\tm\u1ed9t\tph\u1ee5\tn\u1eef\ttr\u1ebb,\tv\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tAnh,\tv\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t Ai-len\t \u0111ang\t \u0111i\t trong\t c\u00f9ng\t m\u1ed9t\t ng\u0103n\t c\u1ee7a\t m\u1ed9t\t chuy\u1ebfn\t xe\t l\u1eeda\t b\u0103ng qua\t mi\u1ec1n\t \u0111\u1ed3ng\t qu\u00ea\t n\u01b0\u1edbc\t Anh.\t M\u1ed7i\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t trong\t s\u1ed1\t h\u1ecd\t \u0111\u1ec1u\t kh\u00f4ng\t quan\t t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn\tba\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tkia. \u0110\u1ed9t\tnhi\u00ean,\txe\tl\u1eeda\t\u0111i\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1ed9t\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\th\u1ea7m,\tv\u00e0\tng\u0103n\txe\tl\u1eeda\ttr\u1edf\tn\u00ean\tt\u1ed1i\t\u0111en\tnh\u01b0 m\u1ef1c.\tT\u1eeb\ttrong\tb\u00f3ng\tt\u1ed1i\tb\u1ed7ng\tv\u1ecdng\tra\t\u00e2m\tthanh\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u1ed9t\tn\u1ee5\th\u00f4n,\tsau\t\u0111\u00f3\tti\u1ebfng \u0111\u1ed9ng\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u1ed9t\tc\u00e1i\tt\u00e1t. Con\tt\u00e0u\tr\u1eddi\t\u0111\u01b0\u1eddng\th\u1ea7m,\tv\u00e0\tnh\u1eefng\tnh\u00e0\tdu\th\u00e0nh\tl\u00e0m\tnh\u01b0\tkh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tg\u00ec\tx\u1ea3y\tra. Tuy\t v\u1eady,\t b\u00e0\t l\u00e3o\t t\u1ef1\t ngh\u0129:\u201d\t Nh\u00ecn\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t ph\u1ee5\t n\u1eef\t tr\u1ebb\t kia\t ng\u1ed3i\t c\u1ea1nh\t ta,\t l\u00e0m\t nh\u01b0 kh\u00f4ng\tc\u00f3\tg\u00ec\tx\u1ea3y\tra.\tTA\tBI\u1ebeT\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tA\u00eang\tl\u00ea\tkia\t\u0111\u00e3\th\u00f4n\tc\u00f4\tta.\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tph\u1ee5\tn\u1eef\ttr\u1ebb\tt\u1ef1\tngh\u0129:\u201dT\u1ea1i\tsao\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\tAi-len\tl\u1ea1i\th\u00f4n\tm\u1ed9t\tb\u00e0\tl\u00e3o?\u201d","Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t A\u00eang\t l\u00ea\t t\u1ef1\t ngh\u0129:\u201dTa\t kh\u00f4ng\t l\u00e0m\t g\u00ec\t c\u1ea3!T\u1ea1i\t sao\t ta\t b\u1ecb\t t\u00e1t\t v\u00e0o m\u1eb7t?\u201d V\u00e0\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t Ai-len\t t\u1ef1\t ngh\u0129:\u201d\t L\u00e0m\t sao\t mi\t th\u00edch\t \u0111i\u1ec1u\t \u0111\u00f3\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c?\t Ta\t h\u00f4n\t mu\t b\u00e0n tay\tta,\tt\u00e1t\tv\u00e0o\tm\u1eb7t\tg\u00e3\tA\u00eang\tl\u00ea\tv\u00e0\tchu\u1ed3n\t\u0111i!\u201d 167\tTYPES\tOF\tBRA A\t man\t walks\t into\t the\t woman\t s\t section\t of\t a\t department\t store\t and\t tells\t the sales\tclerk\the\twants\tto\tbuy\ta\tbra\tfor\this\twife. \\\"What\ttype\tof\tbra?\\\"\tasked\tthe\tclerk \\\"Type?\\\"\tinquires\tthe\tman\t\\\"There\tis\tmore\tthan\tone\ttype?\\\" \\\"There\t are\t three\t types.\\\"\t replies\t the\t clerk\t \\\"The\t Catholic\t type,\t the\t Salvation Army\ttype,\tand\tthe\tBaptist\ttype.\tWhich\tone\tdo\tyou\tneed?\\\" Still\tconfused\tthe\tman\task\t\\\"What\tis\tthe\tdifference\tin\tthem?\\\" The\t clerk\t responds\t \\\"It\t is\t really\t very\t easy.\t The\t Catholic\t type\t supports\t the masses,\t the\t Salvation\t Army\t type\t lifts\t up\t the\t fallen\t and\t the\t Baptist\t type makes\tmountains\tout\tof\tmole\thills.\\\" NH\u1eeeNG\tKI\u1ec2U\t\u00c1O\tNG\u1ef0C M\u1ed9t\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t \u0111\u00e0n\t \u00f4ng\t \u0111i\t v\u00e0o\t gian\t ph\u1ee5\t n\u1eef\t c\u1ee7a\t m\u1ed9t\t c\u1eeda\t h\u00e0ng\t v\u00e0\t n\u00f3i\t v\u1edbi\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u00e1n\th\u00e0ng\t\u00f4ng\tta\tmu\u1ed1n\tmua\tm\u1ed9t\t\u00e1o\tng\u1ef1c\tcho\tv\u1ee3. \u201cKi\u1ec3u\t\u00e1o\tng\u1ef1c\tn\u00e0o?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tb\u00e1n\th\u00e0ng\th\u1ecfi.","\u201cKi\u1ec3u?\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\th\u1ecfi.\t\u201cC\u00f3\tnhi\u1ec1u\th\u01a1n\tm\u1ed9t\tki\u1ec3u?\u201d \u201cC\u00f3\tba\tki\u1ec3u.\u201d\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\ttr\u1ea3\tl\u1eddi.\t\u201cKi\u1ec3u\tThi\u00ean\tCh\u00faa\tGi\u00e1o,\tki\u1ec3u\t\u0110\u1ed9i\tQu\u00e2n C\u1ee9u\tT\u1ebf,\tv\u00e0\tki\u1ec3u\tgi\u00e1o\tph\u00e1i\tBaptist.\t\u00d4ng\tc\u1ea7n\tki\u1ec3u\tn\u00e0o?\u201d V\u1eabn\tc\u00f2n\tl\u00fang\tt\u00fang,\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\t\u0111\u00e0n\t\u00f4ng\th\u1ecfi:\u201dCh\u00fang\tkh\u00e1c\tnhau\tnh\u01b0\tth\u1ebf\tn\u00e0o?\u201d Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t b\u00e1n\t h\u00e0ng\t tr\u1ea3\t l\u1eddi:\u201dTh\u1ef1c\t s\u1ef1\t r\u1ea5t\t d\u1ec5.\t Ki\u1ec3u\t Thi\u00ean\t Ch\u00faa\t Gi\u00e1o\t c\u1ed5\t v\u0169\t cho nh\u1eefng\t \u0111\u00e1m\t \u0111\u00f4ng,\t ki\u1ec3u\t \u0110\u1ed9i\t Qu\u00e2n\t C\u1ee9u\t T\u1ebf\t n\u00e2ng\t cao\t nh\u1eefng\t c\u00e1i\t x\u1ec7\t xu\u1ed1ng\t v\u00e0 ki\u1ec3u\tgi\u00e1o\tph\u00e1i\tBaptist\tl\u00e0m\tcho\tnh\u1eefng\tc\u00e1i\tb\u00ecnh\tth\u01b0\u1eddng\th\u00f3a\tquan\ttr\u1ecdng.\u201d 168\tAN\tARGUMENT During\ta\tneighborhood\tparty\there,\tI\tgot\tinto\tan\targument\twith\tmy\tneighbor, Van,\t about\t presidential\t politics.\t Finally,\t he\t asked\t me\t why\t I\t was\t such\t a dedicated\tRepublican. I\ttold\thim\tthat\tmy\tFather\tand\tGrandFather\twere\tRepublicans\tbefore\tme\tand that\tI\twas\tcarrying\ton\tthe\tfamily\ttradition. \\\"That\t s\t it\t ?\\\"\t said\t my\t exasperated\t neighbor.\t \\\"What\t if\t your\t Father\t and GrandFather\thad\tbeen\thorse\tthieves\t?\\\" \\\"Well...\\\"\tI\treplied,\t\\\"I\tsuppose\tthen\tI\td\tbe\ta\tDemocrat\tlike\tyou.\\\" M\u1ed8T\tCU\u1ed8C\tTRANH\tC\u00c3I Trong\tb\u1eefa\tti\u1ec7c\tl\u00e1ng\tgi\u1ec1ng,\tt\u00f4i\ttranh\tc\u00e3i\tv\u1edbi\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tl\u00e1ng\tgi\u1ec1ng\tVan\tv\u1ec1\t\u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng\tch\u00ednh\ttr\u1ecb\ttranh\tc\u1eed\tt\u1ed5ng\tth\u1ed1ng.\tCu\u1ed1i\tc\u00f9ng\tanh\tta\th\u1ecfi\tt\u00f4i\tv\u00ec\tsao\tt\u00f4i\tl\u00e0\tm\u1ed9t","\u0111\u1ea3ng\tvi\u00ean\ttrung\tth\u00e0nh\tc\u1ee7a\t\u0111\u1ea3ng\tC\u1ed9ng\th\u00f2a\tnh\u01b0\tv\u1eady. T\u00f4i\t n\u00f3i\t v\u1edbi\t anh\t ta\t r\u1eb1ng\t cha\t t\u00f4i\t v\u00e0\t \u00f4ng\t n\u1ed9i\t t\u00f4i\t l\u00e0\t nh\u1eefng\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t C\u1ed9ng\t H\u00f2a tr\u01b0\u1edbc\tt\u00f4i\tv\u00e0\tr\u1eb1ng\tt\u00f4i\tti\u1ebfp\tt\u1ee5c\ttruy\u1ec1n\tth\u1ed1ng\tgia\t\u0111\u00ecnh. \u201cTh\u1ebf\t \u00e0?\u201d\t ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t h\u00e0ng\t x\u00f3m\t c\u00e1u\t ti\u1ebft\t n\u00f3i.\t \u201cN\u1ebfu\t cha\t b\u1ea1n\t v\u00e0\t \u00f4ng\t n\u1ed9i\t b\u1ea1n\t l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng\tt\u00ean\ttr\u1ed9m\tng\u1ef1a\tth\u00ec\tsao?\u201d \u201c\u00c0\u2026\u201d\tt\u00f4i\t\u0111\u00e1p,\t\u201ct\u00f4i\tcho\tl\u00e0\tt\u00f4i\ts\u1ebd\ttr\u1edf\tth\u00e0nh\tm\u1ed9t\tng\u01b0\u1eddi\tD\u00e2n\tch\u1ee7\tnh\u01b0\t\u00f4ng.\u201d 169\tDIVERT\tYOUR\tCOURSE This\tis\tthe\ttranscript\tof\tthe\tACTUAL\tradio\tconversation\tof\ta\tUS\tnaval\tship with\t Canadian\t authorities\t off\t the\t coast\t of\t Newfoundland\t in\t October\t 1995. Radio\tconversation\treleased\tby\tthe\tChief\tof\tNaval\tOperations 10-10-95. Canadians:\t Please\t divert\t your\t course\t 15\t degrees\t the\t South\t to\t avoid\t a collision. Americans:\t Recommend\t you\t divert\t your\t course\t 15\t degrees\t the\t North\t to avoid\ta\tcollision. Canadians:\t Negative.\t You\t will\t have\t to\t divert\t your\t course\t 15\t degrees\t to\t the South\tto\tavoid\ta\tcollision. Americans:\tThis\tis\tthe\tCaptain\tof\ta\tUS\tNavy\tship.\tI\tsay\tagain,\tdivert\tYOUR course.","Canadians:\tNo.\tI\tsay\tagain,\tyou\tdivert\tYOUR\tcourse. Americans:\t THIS\t IS\t THE\t AIRCRAFT\t CARRIER\t USS\t LINCOLN,\t THE SECOND\t LARGEST\t SHIP\t IN\t THE\t UNITED\t STATES\t ATLANTIC FLEET.\t WE\t ARE\t ACCOMPANIED\t BY\t THREE\t DESTROYERS,\t THREE CRUISERS\tAND\tNUMEROUS\tSUPPORT\tVESSELS.\tI\tDEMAND\tTHAT YOU\tCHANGE\tYOUR\tCOURSE\t15\tDEGREES\tNORTH,\tI\tSAY\tAGAIN, THAT\t S\t ONE\t FIVE\t DEGREES\t NORTH,\t OR\t COUNTER-MEASURES WILL\tBE\tUNDERTAKEN\tTO\tENSURE\tTHE\tSAFETY\tOF\tTHIS\tSHIP. Canadians:\tThis\tis\ta\tlighthouse.\tYour\tcall! \u0110\u1ed4I\tH\u01af\u1edaNG\tT\u00c0U\tCH\u1ea0Y \u0110\u00e2y\tl\u00e0\tb\u1ea3n\tghi\tm\u1ed9t\t\u0111o\u1ea1n\t\u0111\u1ed1i\ttho\u1ea1i\tv\u00f4\ttuy\u1ebfn\t\u0111i\u1ec7n\tC\u00d3\tTH\u1ef0C\tc\u1ee7a\tm\u1ed9t\tt\u00e0u\th\u1ea3i qu\u00e2n\t M\u1ef9\t v\u00e0\t nh\u00e0\t ch\u1ee9c\t tr\u00e1ch\t Cana\u0111a\t \u1edf\t ngo\u00e0i\t b\u1edd\t bi\u1ec3n\t Newfoundland\t v\u00e0o th\u00e1ng\t 10\t \u2013\t 1995.\u0110o\u1ea1n\t \u0111\u1ed1i\t tho\u1ea1i\t v\u00f4\t tuy\u1ebfn\t \u0111i\u1ec7n\t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\t t\u01b0\t l\u1ec7nh\t t\u00e1c\t chi\u1ebfn\t h\u1ea3i qu\u00e2n\t\u0111\u01b0a\tra\tv\u00e0o\t10\t\u2013\t10\t\u2013\t95. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tCana\u0111a:\u201d\tXin\th\u00e3y\tchuy\u1ec3n\th\u01b0\u1edbng\t\u0111i\t15\t\u0111\u1ed9\tph\u00eda\tnam\t\u0111\u1ec3\ttr\u00e1nh\tm\u1ed9t\tv\u1ee5 va\tch\u1ea1m. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\t M\u1ef9:\u0110\u1ec1\t ngh\u1ecb\t c\u00e1c\t \u00f4ng\t chuy\u1ec3n\t h\u01b0\u1edbng\t t\u00e0u\t 15\t \u0111\u1ed9\t ph\u00eda\t b\u1eafc\t \u0111\u1ec3\t tr\u00e1nh\t m\u1ed9t v\u1ee5\tva\tch\u1ea1m. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tCana\u0111a:\tPh\u1ea3n\t\u0111\u1ed1i.\tC\u00e1c\t\u00f4ng\ts\u1ebd\tph\u1ea3i\tchuy\u1ec3n\th\u01b0\u1edbng\tt\u00e0u\t15\t\u0111\u1ed9\tph\u00eda\tnam \u0111\u1ec3\ttr\u00e1nh\tm\u1ed9t\tv\u1ee5\tva\tch\u1ea1m. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi\tM\u1ef9:\u0110\u00e2y\tl\u00e0\tthuy\u1ec1n\ttr\u01b0\u1edfng\tt\u00e0u\tH\u1ea3i\tqu\u00e2n\tM\u1ef9.\tT\u00f4i\tnh\u1eafc\tl\u1ea1i:H\u00e3y\tchuy\u1ec3n h\u01b0\u1edbng\tt\u00e0u\tC\u1ee6A\tC\u00c1C\t\u00d4NG."]
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