["Olive\t opened\t her\t mouth\t to\u2014to\t do\t what,\t precisely?\t To\t defend\t Adam?\t He was\ta\tdick.\tShe\thad\tseen\thim\tbe\ta\tdick.\tIn\tfull\taction.\tMaybe\tnot\trecently,\tand maybe\t not\t to\t her,\t but\t if\t she\u2019d\t wanted\t to\t count\t on\t her\t fingers\t the\t number\t of acquaintances\twho\u2019d\tended\tup\tin\ttears\tbecause\tof\thim,\twell\t.\t.\t.\tShe\twould\tneed both\ther\thands,\tand\tthen\ther\ttoes.\tMaybe\tborrow\tsome\tof\tChase\u2019s,\ttoo. \u201cDid\the\tsay\twhy,\tat\tleast?\tWhat\tyou\thave\tto\tchange?\u201d \u201cEverything.\t He\t wants\t me\t to\t change\t my\t control\t condition\t and\t add\t another one,\twhich\tis\tgoing\tto\tmake\tthe\tproject\tten\ttimes\tmore\ttime-consuming.\tAnd\tthe way\the\tsaid\tit,\this\tair\tof\tsuperiority\u2014he\tis\tso\tarrogant.\u201d Well.\t It\t was\t no\t news,\t really.\t Olive\t scratched\t her\t temple,\t trying\t not\t to\t sigh. \u201cIt\t sucks.\t I\u2019m\t sorry,\u201d\t she\t repeated\t once\t more,\t at\t a\t loss\t for\t anything\t better\t and genuinely\tfeeling\tfor\tGreg. \u201cYeah,\t well.\u201d\t He\t stood\t and\t walked\t around\t his\t bench,\t coming\t to\t a\t stop\t in front\tof\tOlive.\t\u201cYou\tshould\tbe.\u201d She\tfroze.\tSurely\tshe\tmust\thave\tmisheard.\t\u201cExcuse\tme?\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\this\tgirlfriend.\u201d \u201cI\t.\t.\t.\u201d\tReally\tam\tnot.\tBut.\tEven\tif\tshe\thad\tbeen.\t\u201cGreg,\tI\u2019m\tonly\tdating\thim. I\tam\tnot\thim.\tHow\twould\tI\thave\tanything\tto\tdo\twith\u2014\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re\tfine\twith\tall\tof\tthis.\tWith\thim\tacting\tlike\tthat\u2014like\tan\tasshole\ton\ta power\t trip.\t You\t don\u2019t\t give\t a\t shit\t about\t the\t way\t he\t treats\t everyone\t in\t the program,\totherwise\tyou\twouldn\u2019t\tbe\table\tto\tstomach\tbeing\twith\thim.\u201d At\this\ttone,\tshe\ttook\ta\tstep\tback. Chase\t lifted\t his\t hands\t in\t a\t peacekeeping\t gesture,\t coming\t to\t stand\t between them.\t\u201cHey,\tnow.\tLet\u2019s\tnot\u2014\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tnot\tthe\tone\twho\tfailed\tyou,\tGreg.\u201d \u201cMaybe.\tBut\tyou\tdon\u2019t\tcare\tthat\thalf\tof\tthe\tdepartment\tlives\tin\tterror\tof\tyour boyfriend,\teither.\u201d Olive\t felt\t anger\t bubbling\t up.\t \u201cThat\t is\t not\t true.\t I\t am\t able\t to\t separate\t my professional\trelationships\tand\tmy\tpersonal\tfeelings\tfor\thim\u2014\u201d \u201cBecause\tyou\tdon\u2019t\tgive\ta\tshit\tabout\tanyone\tbut\tyourself.\u201d \u201cThat\tis\tunfair.\tWhat\tam\tI\tsupposed\tto\tdo?\u201d \u201cGet\thim\tto\tstop\tfailing\tpeople.\u201d \u201cGet\t him\u2014\u201d\t Olive\t sputtered.\t \u201cGreg,\t how\t is\t this\t a\t rational\t response\t for\t you to\thave\tabout\tAdam\u2019s\tfailing\tyou\u2014\u201d","\u201cAh.\tAdam,\tis\tit?\u201d She\tgritted\ther\tteeth.\t\u201cYes.\tAdam.\tWhat\tshould\tI\tcall\tmy\tboyfriend\tto\tbetter please\tyou?\tProfessor\tCarlsen?\u201d \u201cIf\t you\t were\t a\t half-decent\t ally\t to\t any\t of\t the\t grads\t in\t the\t department,\t you would\tjust\tdump\tyour\tfucking\tboyfriend.\u201d \u201cHow\u2014\tDo\tyou\teven\trealize\thow\tlittle\tsense\tyou\tare\t.\t.\t.\u201d No\treason\tto\tfinish\ther\tsentence,\tsince\tGreg\twas\tstorming\tout\tof\tthe\tlab\tand slamming\t the\t door\t behind\t him,\t clearly\t uninterested\t in\t anything\t Olive\t might have\t wanted\t to\t add.\t She\t ran\t a\t hand\t down\t her\t face,\t unsettled\t by\t what\t had\t just happened. \u201cHe\u2019s\tnot\t.\t.\t.\the\tdoesn\u2019t\treally\tmean\tit.\tNot\tabout\tyou,\tat\tleast,\u201d\tChase\tsaid while\tscratching\this\thead.\tA\tnice\treminder\tthat\the\u2019d\tbeen\tstanding\tthere,\tin\tthe room,\t for\t the\t entirety\t of\t this\t conversation.\t Front-row\t seat.\t It\t was\t going\t to\t take maybe\t fifteen\t minutes\t before\t everyone\t in\t the\t program\t knew\t about\t it.\t \u201cGreg needs\t to\t graduate\t in\t the\t spring\t with\t his\t wife.\t So\t that\t they\t can\t find\t postdocs together.\tThey\tdon\u2019t\twant\tto\tlive\tapart,\tyou\tknow.\u201d She\t nodded\u2014she\t hadn\u2019t\t known,\t but\t she\t could\t imagine.\t Some\t of\t her\t anger dissipated.\t \u201cYeah,\t well.\u201d\t Being\t horrible\t to\t me\t isn\u2019t\t going\t to\t make\t his\t thesis work\tgo\tany\tfaster,\tshe\tdidn\u2019t\tadd. Chase\t sighed.\t \u201cIt\u2019s\t not\t personal.\t But\t you\t have\t to\t understand\t that\t it\u2019s\t weird for\t us.\t Because\t Carlsen\t .\t .\t .\t Maybe\t he\t wasn\u2019t\t on\t any\t of\t your\t committees,\t but you\tmust\tknow\tthe\tkind\tof\tguy\the\tis,\tright?\u201d She\twas\tunsure\thow\tto\trespond. \u201cAnd\t now\t you\t guys\t are\t dating,\t and\t .\t .\t .\u201d\t Chase\t shrugged\t with\t a\t nervous smile.\t\u201cIt\tshouldn\u2019t\tbe\ta\tmatter\tof\ttaking\tsides,\tbut\tsometimes\tit\tcan\tfeel\tlike\tit, you\tknow?\u201d Chase\u2019s\t words\t lingered\t for\t the\t rest\t of\t the\t day.\t Olive\t thought\t about\t them\t as she\t ran\t her\t mice\t through\t her\t experimental\t protocols,\t and\t then\t later\t while\t she tried\t to\t figure\t out\t what\t to\t do\t with\t those\t two\t outliers\t that\t made\t her\t findings tricky\tto\tinterpret.\tShe\tmulled\tit\tover\twhile\tbiking\thome,\thot\twind\twarming\ther cheeks\t and\t ruffling\t her\t hair,\t and\t while\t eating\t two\t slices\t of\t the\t saddest\t pizza ever.\t Malcolm\t had\t been\t on\t a\t health\t kick\t for\t weeks\t now\t (something\t about cultivating\t his\t gut\t microbiome)\t and\t refused\t to\t admit\t that\t cauliflower\t crust\t did not\ttaste\tgood.","Among\t her\t friends,\t Malcolm\t and\t Jeremy\t had\t had\t unpleasant\t dealings\t with Adam\t in\t the\t past,\t but\t after\t the\t initial\t shock\t they\t didn\u2019t\t seem\t to\t hold\t Olive\u2019s relationship\t with\t him\t against\t her.\t She\t hadn\u2019t\t concerned\t herself\t too\t much\t with the\tfeelings\tof\tother\tgrads.\tShe\thad\talways\tbeen\ta\tbit\tof\ta\tloner,\tand\tfocusing\ton the\t opinion\t of\t people\t she\t barely\t interacted\t with\t seemed\t like\t a\t wasteful\t use\t of time\t and\t energy.\t Still,\t maybe\t there\t was\t a\t glimmer\t of\t truth\t in\t what\t Greg\t had said.\t Adam\t had\t been\t anything\t but\t a\t jerk\t to\t Olive,\t but\t did\t accepting\t his\t help while\the\tacted\thorribly\ttoward\ther\tfellow\tgrads\tmake\ther\ta\tbad\tperson? Olive\tlay\ton\ther\tunmade\tbed,\tlooking\tup\tat\tthe\tglow-in-the-dark\tstars.\tIt\thad been\t more\t than\t two\t years\t since\t she\u2019d\t borrowed\t Malcolm\u2019s\t stepladder\t and carefully\t stuck\t them\t on\t the\t ceiling;\t the\t glue\t was\t starting\t to\t give\t out,\t and\t the large\tcomet\tin\tthe\tcorner\tby\tthe\twindow\twas\tgoing\tto\tfall\toff\tany\tday.\tWithout letting\t herself\t think\t it\t through\t too\t much,\t she\t rolled\t out\t of\t bed\t and\t rummaged inside\tthe\tpockets\tof\ther\tdiscarded\tjeans\tuntil\tshe\tfound\ther\tcell\tphone. She\t hadn\u2019t\t used\t Adam\u2019s\t number\t since\t he\u2019d\t given\t it\t to\t her\t a\t few\t days\t ago \u2014\u201cIf\tanything\tcomes\tup\tor\tyou\tneed\tto\tcancel,\tjust\tgive\tme\ta\tcall.\tIt\u2019s\tquicker than\t an\t email.\u201d\t When\t she\t tapped\t the\t blue\t icon\t under\t his\t name\t a\t white\t screen popped\tup,\ta\tblank\tslate\twith\tno\thistory\tof\tprevious\tmessages.\tIt\tgave\tOlive\tan odd\t rush\t of\t anxiety,\t so\t much\t so\t that\t she\t typed\t the\t text\t with\t one\t hand\t while biting\tthe\tthumbnail\ton\tthe\tother. Olive:\tDid\tyou\tjust\tfail\tGreg? Adam\t was\t never\t on\t his\t phone.\t Never.\t Whenever\t Olive\t had\t been\t in\t his company,\tshe\u2019d\tnot\tseen\thim\tcheck\tit\teven\tonce\u2014even\tthough\twith\ta\tlab\tas\tbig as\t his\t he\t probably\t got\t about\t thirty\t new\t emails\t every\t minute.\t Truth\t was,\t she didn\u2019t\t even\t know\t that\t he\t owned\t a\t cell\t phone.\t Maybe\t he\t was\t a\t weird\t modern- day\t hippie\t and\t hated\t technology.\t Maybe\t he\u2019d\t given\t her\t his\t office\t landline number,\tand\tthat\u2019s\twhy\the\u2019d\ttold\ther\tto\tcall\thim.\tMaybe\the\tdidn\u2019t\tknow\thow\tto text,\twhich\tmeant\tthat\tOlive\twas\tnever\tgoing\tto\tget\tan\tanswer\tfrom\u2014 Her\tpalm\tvibrated. Adam:\tOlive? It\toccurred\tto\ther\tthat\twhen\tAdam\thad\tgiven\ther\this\tnumber,\tshe\u2019d\tneglected to\t give\t hers\t in\t return.\t Which\t meant\t that\t he\t had\t no\t way\t of\t knowing\t who\t was texting\t him\t now,\t and\t the\t fact\t that\t he\u2019d\t guessed\t correctly\t revealed\t an\t almost preternatural\tintuition.","Damn\thim. Olive:\tYup.\tMe. Olive:\tDid\tyou\tfail\tGreg\tCohen?\tI\tran\tinto\thim\tafter\this\tmeeting.\tHe\twas\tvery\tupset. At\tme.\tBecause\tof\tyou.\tBecause\tof\tthis\tstupid\tthing\twe\u2019re\tdoing. There\twas\ta\tpause\tof\ta\tminute\tor\tso,\tin\twhich,\tOlive\treflected,\tAdam\tmight very\twell\tbe\tcackling\tevilly\tat\tthe\tidea\tof\tall\tthe\tpain\the\u2019d\tcaused\tGreg.\tThen\the answered: Adam:\tI\tcan\u2019t\tdiscuss\tother\tgrads\u2019\tdissertation\tmeetings\twith\tyou. Olive\t sighed,\t exchanging\t a\t loaded\t look\t with\t the\t stuffed\t fox\t Malcolm\t had gotten\ther\tfor\tpassing\ther\tqualifying\texaminations. Olive:\tI\u2019m\tnot\tasking\tyou\tto\ttell\tme\tanything.\tGreg\talready\ttold\tme.\tNot\tto\tmention\tthat I\u2019m\tthe\tone\ttaking\tthe\theat\tfor\tit,\tsince\tI\u2019m\tyour\tgirlfriend. Olive:\t\u201dGirlfriend.\u201d Three\tdots\tappeared\tat\tthe\tbottom\tof\ther\tscreen.\tThen\tthey\tdisappeared,\tand then\tthey\tappeared\tagain,\tand\tthen,\tfinally,\tOlive\u2019s\tphone\tvibrated. Adam:\tCommittees\tdon\u2019t\tfail\tstudents.\tThey\tfail\ttheir\tproposals. She\tsnorted,\thalf\twishing\the\tcould\thear\ther. Olive:\tYeah,\twell.\tTell\tit\tto\tGreg. Adam:\t I\t have.\t I\t explained\t the\t weaknesses\t in\t his\t study.\t He\u2019ll\t revise\t his\t proposal accordingly,\tand\tthen\tI\u2019ll\tsign\toff\ton\this\tdissertation. Olive:\tSo\tyou\tadmit\tthat\tyou\tare\tthe\tone\tbehind\tthe\tdecision\tto\tfail\thim. Olive:\tOr,\twhatever.\tTo\tfail\this\tproposal. Adam:\tYes.\tIn\tits\tcurrent\tstate,\tthe\tproposal\tis\tnot\tgoing\tto\tproduce\tfindings\tof\tscientific value. Olive\t bit\t the\t inside\t of\t her\t cheek,\t staring\t at\t her\t phone\t and\t wondering\t if continuing\t this\t conversation\t was\t a\t terrible\t idea.\t If\t what\t she\t wanted\t to\t say\t was too\tmuch.\tThen\tshe\tremembered\tthe\tway\tGreg\thad\ttreated\ther\tearlier,\tmuttered, \u201cFuck\tit,\u201d\tand\ttyped: Olive:\tDon\u2019t\tyou\tthink\tthat\tmaybe\tyou\tcould\thave\tdelivered\tthat\tfeedback\tin\ta\tnicer\tway? Adam:\tWhy? Olive:\tBecause\tif\tyou\thad\tmaybe\the\twouldn\u2019t\tbe\tupset\tnow? Adam:\tI\tstill\tdon\u2019t\tsee\twhy. Olive:\tSeriously? Adam:\t It\u2019s\t not\t my\t job\t to\t manage\t your\t friend\u2019s\t emotions.\t He\u2019s\t in\t a\t Ph.D.\t program,\t not grade\t school.\t He\u2019ll\t be\t inundated\t by\t feedback\t he\t doesn\u2019t\t like\t for\t the\t rest\t of\t his\t life\t if\t he","pursues\tacademia.\tHow\the\tchooses\tto\tdeal\twith\tit\tis\this\town\tbusiness. Olive:\tStill,\tmaybe\tyou\tcould\ttry\tnot\tto\tlook\tlike\tyou\tenjoy\tdelaying\this\tgraduation. Adam:\t This\t is\t irrational.\t The\t reason\t his\t proposal\t needs\t to\t be\t modified\t is\t that\t in\t its current\t state\t it\u2019s\t setting\t him\t up\t for\t failure.\t Me\t and\t the\t rest\t of\t the\t committee\t are\t giving\t him feedback\t that\t will\t allow\t him\t to\t produce\t useful\t knowledge.\t He\t is\t a\t scientist\t in\t training:\t he should\tvalue\tguidance,\tnot\tbe\tupset\tby\tit. Olive\tgritted\ther\tteeth\tas\tshe\ttyped\ther\tresponses. Olive:\t You\t must\t know\t that\t you\t fail\t more\t people\t than\t anyone\t else.\t And\t your\t criticism\t is needlessly\tharsh.\tAs\tin,\timmediately-drop-out-of-grad-school-and-never-look-back\tharsh.\tYou must\tknow\thow\tgrads\tperceive\tyou. Adam:\tI\tdon\u2019t. Olive:\tAntagonistic.\tAnd\tunapproachable. And\tthat\twas\tsugarcoating\tit.\tYou\u2019re\ta\tdick,\tOlive\tmeant.\tExcept\tthat\tI\tknow you\t can\t not\t be,\t and\t I\t can\u2019t\t figure\t out\t why\t you\u2019re\t so\t different\t with\t me.\t I\u2019m absolutely\t nothing\t to\t you,\t so\t it\t doesn\u2019t\t make\t any\t sense\t that\t you\u2019d\t have\t a personality\ttransplant\tevery\ttime\tyou\u2019re\tin\tmy\tpresence. The\t three\t dots\t at\t the\t bottom\t of\t the\t screen\t bounced\t for\t ten\t seconds,\t twenty, thirty.\tA\twhole\tminute.\tOlive\treread\ther\tlast\ttext\tand\twondered\tif\tthis\twas\tit\u2014if she\u2019d\tfinally\tgone\ttoo\tfar.\tMaybe\the\twas\tgoing\tto\tremind\ther\tthat\tbeing\tinsulted over\t text\t at\t 9:00\t p.m.\t on\t a\t Friday\t night\t was\t not\t part\t of\t their\t fake-dating agreement. Then\ta\tblue\tbubble\tappeared,\tfilling\tup\ther\tentire\tscreen. Adam:\tI\u2019m\tdoing\tmy\tjob,\tOlive.\tWhich\tis\tnot\tto\tdeliver\tfeedback\tin\ta\tpleasant\tway\tor\tto make\t the\t department\t grads\t feel\t good\t about\t themselves.\t My\t job\t is\t to\t form\t rigorous researchers\twho\twon\u2019t\tpublish\tuseless\tor\tharmful\tcrap\tthat\twill\tset\tback\tour\tfield.\tAcademia\tis cluttered\t with\t terrible\t science\t and\t mediocre\t scientists.\t I\t couldn\u2019t\t care\t less\t about\t how\t your friends\tperceive\tme,\tas\tlong\tas\ttheir\twork\tis\tup\tto\tstandard.\tIf\tthey\twant\tto\tdrop\tout\twhen\ttold that\tit\u2019s\tnot,\tthen\tso\tbe\tit.\tNot\teveryone\thas\twhat\tit\ttakes\tto\tbe\ta\tscientist,\tand\tthose\twho\tdon\u2019t should\tbe\tweeded\tout. She\t stared\t at\t her\t phone,\t hating\t how\t unfeeling\t and\t callous\t he\t sounded.\t The problem\twas\u2014Olive\tunderstood\texactly\twhere\tGreg\twas\tcoming\tfrom,\tbecause she\u2019d\t been\t in\t similar\t situations.\t Perhaps\t not\t with\t Adam,\t but\t her\t overall experience\tin\tSTEM\tacademia\thad\tbeen\tpunctuated\tby\tself-doubt,\tanxiety,\tand\ta sense\t of\t inferiority.\t She\u2019d\t barely\t slept\t the\t two\t weeks\t before\t her\t qualifying exams,\t often\t wondered\t if\t her\t fear\t of\t public\t speaking\t was\t going\t to\t prevent\t her from\t having\t a\t career,\t and\t she\t was\t constantly\t terrified\t of\t being\t the\t stupidest person\tin\tthe\troom.\tAnd\tyet,\tmost\tof\ther\ttime\tand\tenergy\twas\tspent\ttrying\tto\tbe","the\t best\t possible\t scientist,\t trying\t to\t carve\t a\t path\t for\t herself\t and\t amount\t to something.\t The\t idea\t of\t someone\t dismissing\t her\t work\t and\t her\t feelings\t this coldheartedly\t cut\t deep,\t which\t is\t why\t her\t response\t was\t so\t immature,\t it\t was almost\tfetal. Olive:\tWell,\tfuck\tyou,\tAdam. She\t immediately\t regretted\t it,\t but\t for\t some\t reason\t she\t couldn\u2019t\t bring\t herself to\t send\t an\t apology.\t It\t wasn\u2019t\t until\t twenty\t minutes\t later\t that\t she\t realized\t that Adam\t wasn\u2019t\t going\t to\t reply.\t A\t warning\t popped\t up\t on\t the\t upper\t part\t of\t her screen,\tinforming\ther\tthat\ther\tbattery\twas\tat\t5\tpercent. With\ta\tdeep\tsigh,\tOlive\tstood\tup\tfrom\ther\tbed\tand\tlooked\taround\tthe\troom\tin search\tof\ther\tcharger. \u2014 \u201cNOW\tGO\tRIGHT.\u201d \u201cGot\t it.\u201d\t Malcolm\u2019s\t finger\t flicked\t the\t turn\t signal\t lever.\t A\t clicking\t sound filled\tthe\tsmall\tcar.\t\u201cGoing\tright.\u201d \u201cNo,\tdon\u2019t\tlisten\tto\tJeremy.\tTurn\tleft.\u201d Jeremy\tleaned\tforward\tand\tswatted\tAnh\u2019s\tarm.\t\u201cMalcolm,\ttrust\tme.\tAnh\thas never\tbeen\tto\tthe\tfarm.\tIt\u2019s\ton\tthe\tright.\u201d \u201cGoogle\tMaps\tsays\tleft.\u201d \u201cGoogle\tMaps\tis\twrong.\u201d \u201cWhat\tdo\tI\tdo?\u201d\tMalcolm\tmade\ta\tface\tin\tthe\trearview\tmirror.\t\u201cLeft?\tRight? Ol,\twhat\tdo\tI\tdo?\u201d In\t the\t back\t seat,\t Olive\t looked\t up\t from\t the\t car\t window\t and\t shrugged.\t \u201cTry right;\t if\t it\u2019s\t wrong,\t we\u2019ll\t just\t turn\t around.\u201d\t She\t shot\t Anh\t a\t quick,\t apologetic glance,\tbut\tshe\tand\tJeremy\twere\ttoo\tbusy\tmock-glaring\tat\teach\tother\tto\tnotice. Malcolm\tgrimaced.\t\u201cWe\u2019ll\tbe\tlate.\tGod,\tI\thate\tthese\tstupid\tpicnics.\u201d \u201cWe\t are,\t like\u201d\u2014Olive\t glanced\t at\t the\t car\u2019s\t clock\u2014\u201cone\t hour\t late,\t already.\t I think\t we\t can\t add\t ten\t minutes\t to\t that.\u201d\t I\t just\t hope\t there\u2019s\t some\t food\t left.\t Her stomach\t had\t been\t growling\t for\t the\t past\t two\t hours,\t and\t there\t was\t no\t way everyone\tin\tthe\tcar\thadn\u2019t\tnoticed. After\t her\t argument\t with\t Adam\t three\t days\t ago,\t she\u2019d\t been\t tempted\t to\t just skip\tthe\tpicnic.\tHole\therself\tup\tin\tthe\tlab\tand\tcontinue\twith\twhat\tshe\thad\tbeen doing\tthe\twhole\tweekend\u2014ignore\tthe\tfact\tthat\tshe\thad\ttold\thim\tto\tfuck\toff,\tand","with\t very\t little\t reason.\t She\t could\t use\t the\t time\t to\t work\t on\t Tom\u2019s\t report,\t which was\tproving\tto\tbe\ttrickier\tand\tmore\ttime-consuming\tthan\tshe\u2019d\tinitially\tthought \u2014probably\t because\t Olive\t couldn\u2019t\t forget\t how\t much\t was\t at\t stake\t and\t kept rerunning\tanalyses\tand\tagonizing\tover\tevery\tsingle\tsentence.\tBut\tshe\u2019d\tchanged her\tmind\tlast\tminute,\ttelling\therself\tthat\tshe\u2019d\tpromised\tAdam\tthat\tthey\u2019d\tput\ton a\tshow\tfor\tthe\tdepartment\tchair.\tIt\twould\tbe\tunfair\tof\ther\tto\tback\tout\tafter\the\u2019d done\tmore\tthan\this\tshare\tof\tthe\tdeal\twhen\tit\tcame\tto\tconvincing\tAnh. That\twas,\tof\tcourse,\tin\tthe\tvery\tunlikely\tcase\tthat\the\tstill\twanted\tanything\tto do\twith\tOlive. \u201cDon\u2019t\t worry,\t Malcolm,\u201d\t Anh\t said.\t \u201cWe\u2019ll\t get\t there\t eventually.\t If\t anyone asks,\t let\u2019s\t just\t say\t that\t a\t mountain\t lion\t attacked\t us.\t God,\t why\t is\t it\t so\t hot?\t I brought\t sunblock,\t by\t the\t way.\t SPF\t thirty\t and\t fifty.\t No\t one\t is\t going\t anywhere before\tputting\tit\ton.\u201d In\t the\t back\t seat\t Olive\t and\t Jeremy\t exchanged\t a\t resigned\t look,\t well acquainted\twith\tAnh\u2019s\tsunscreen\tobsession. The\t picnic\t was\t in\t full\t swing\t when\t they\t finally\t arrived,\t as\t crowded\t as\t most academic\tevents\twith\tfree\tfood.\tOlive\tmade\ta\tbeeline\tfor\tthe\ttables\tand\twaved\tat Dr.\t Aslan,\t who\t was\t sitting\t in\t the\t shade\t of\t a\t giant\t oak\t with\t other\t faculty members.\t Dr.\t Aslan\t waved\t back,\t no\t doubt\t pleased\t to\t note\t that\t her\t authority extended\t to\t commandeering\t her\t grads\u2019\t free\t time\t on\t top\t of\t the\t eighty\t hours\t a week\tthey\talready\tspent\tin\tthe\tlab.\tOlive\tsmiled\tweakly\tin\ta\tvaliant\tattempt\tnot to\t look\t resentful,\t grabbed\t a\t cluster\t of\t white\t grapes,\t and\t popped\t one\t into\t her mouth\twhile\tletting\ther\tgaze\twander\taround\tthe\tfields. Anh\t was\t right.\t This\t September\t was\t uncommonly\t hot.\t There\t were\t people everywhere,\t sitting\t on\t the\t lawn\t chairs,\t lying\t down\t in\t the\t grass,\t walking\t in\t and out\tof\tthe\tbarns\u2014all\tenjoying\tthe\tweather.\tA\tfew\twere\teating\tfrom\tplastic\tplates on\t folding\t tables\t close\t to\t the\t main\t house,\t and\t there\t were\t at\t least\t three\t games going\ton\u2014a\tversion\tof\tvolleyball\twith\tthe\tplayers\tstanding\tin\ta\tcircle,\ta\tsoccer match,\t and\t something\t that\t involved\t a\t Frisbee\t and\t over\t a\t dozen\t half-dressed dudes. \u201cWhat\t are\t they\t even\t playing?\u201d\t Olive\t asked\t Anh.\t She\t spotted\t Dr.\t Rodrigues tackle\t someone\t from\t immunology\t and\t looked\t back\t to\t the\t almost\t empty\t tables, cringing.\tSlim\tpickings\twas\tall\tthat\twas\tleft.\tOlive\twanted\ta\tsandwich.\tA\tbag\tof chips.\tAnything.","\u201cUltimate\t Frisbee,\t I\t think?\t I\t don\u2019t\t know.\t Did\t you\t put\t on\t sunblock?\t You\u2019re wearing\ta\ttank\ttop\tand\tshorts,\tso\tyou\treally\tshould.\u201d Olive\tbit\tinto\tanother\tgrape.\t\u201cYou\tAmericans\tand\tyour\tfake\tsports.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\t pretty\t sure\t there\t are\t Canadian\t tournaments\t of\t Ultimate\t Frisbee,\t too. You\tknow\twhat\u2019s\tnot\tfake?\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cMelanoma.\tPut\ton\tsome\tsunscreen.\u201d \u201cI\twill,\tMom.\u201d\tOlive\tsmiled.\t\u201cCan\tI\teat\tfirst?\u201d \u201cEat\twhat?\tThere\u2019s\tnothing\tleft.\tOh,\tthere\u2019s\tsome\tcorn\tbread\tover\tthere.\u201d \u201cOh,\tcool.\tPass\tit\tover.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t\t eat\t the\t corn\t bread,\t guys.\u201d\t Jeremy\u2019s\t head\t popped\t up\t between\t Olive and\tAnh.\t\u201cJess\tsaid\tthat\ta\tpharmacology\tfirst-year\tsneezed\tall\tover\tit.\tWhere\tdid Malcolm\tgo?\u201d \u201cParking\u2014\tHoly.\tShit.\u201d Olive\t looked\t up\t from\t her\t perusal\t of\t the\t table,\t alarmed\t by\t the\t urgency\t in Anh\u2019s\ttone.\t\u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cJust,\tholy\tshit.\u201d \u201cYeah,\twhat\u2014\u201d \u201cHoly\tshit.\u201d \u201cYou\tmentioned\tthat\talready.\u201d \u201cBecause\u2014holy\tshit.\u201d She\tglanced\taround,\ttrying\tto\tfigure\tout\twhat\twas\tgoing\ton.\t\u201cWhat\tis\u2014\tOh, there\u2019s\tMalcolm.\tMaybe\the\tfound\tsomething\tto\teat?\u201d \u201cIs\tthat\tCarlsen?\u201d Olive\t was\t already\t walking\t toward\t Malcolm\t to\t find\t something\t edible\t and skip\t the\t whole\t sunscreen\t nonsense\t altogether,\t but\t when\t she\t heard\t Adam\u2019s name,\tshe\tstopped\tdead\tin\ther\ttracks.\tOr\tmaybe\tit\twasn\u2019t\tAdam\u2019s\tname\tbut\tthe way\tAnh\twas\tsaying\tit.\t\u201cWhat?\tWhere?\u201d Jeremy\tpointed\tat\tthe\tUltimate\tFrisbee\tcrowd.\t\u201cThat\u2019s\thim,\tright?\tShirtless?\u201d \u201cHoly\tshit,\u201d\tAnh\trepeated,\ther\tvocabulary\tsuddenly\tpretty\tlimited,\tgiven\ther twentysomething\tyears\tof\teducation.\t\u201cIs\tthat\ta\tsix-pack?\u201d Jeremy\tblinked.\t\u201cMight\teven\tbe\tan\teight-pack.\u201d \u201cAre\t those\t his\t real\t shoulders?\u201d\t Anh\t asked.\t \u201cDid\t he\t have\t shoulder- enhancement\tsurgery?\u201d","\u201cThat\tmust\tbe\thow\the\tused\tthe\tMacArthur\tgrant,\u201d\tJeremy\tsaid.\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tthink shoulders\tlike\tthat\texist\tin\tnature.\u201d \u201cGod,\t is\t that\t Carlsen\u2019s\t chest?\u201d\t Malcolm\t leaned\t his\t chin\t over\t Olive\u2019s shoulder.\t \u201cWas\t that\t thing\t under\t his\t shirt\t while\t he\t was\t ripping\t my\t dissertation proposal\ta\tnew\tone?\tOl.\tWhy\tdidn\u2019t\tyou\tsay\tthat\the\twas\tshredded?\u201d Olive\t just\t stood\t there,\t rooted\t to\t the\t ground,\t arms\t dangling\t uselessly\t at\t her sides.\t Because\t I\t didn\u2019t\t know.\t Because\t I\t had\t no\t idea.\t Or\t maybe\t she\t had,\t a\t bit, from\t seeing\t him\t push\t that\t truck\t the\t other\t day\u2014though\t she\u2019d\t been\t trying\t to suppress\tthat\tparticular\tmental\timage. \u201cUnbelievable.\u201d\t Anh\t pulled\t Olive\u2019s\t hand\t toward\t herself,\t overturning\t it\t to squirt\t a\t healthy\t dose\t of\t lotion\t on\t her\t palm.\t \u201cHere,\t put\t this\t on\t your\t shoulders. And\tyour\tlegs.\tAnd\tyour\tface,\ttoo\u2014you\u2019re\tprobably\tat\thigh\trisk\tfor\tall\tsorts\tof skin\tstuff,\tFreckles\tMcFreckleface.\tJer,\tyou\ttoo.\u201d Olive\tnodded\tnumbly\tand\tbegan\tto\tmassage\tthe\tsunscreen\tinto\ther\tarms\tand thighs.\tShe\t breathed\t in\t the\tsmell\t of\tcoconut\t oil,\ttrying\t hard\tnot\t to\tthink\t about Adam\tand\tabout\tthe\tfact\tthat\the\treally\tdid\tlook\tlike\tthat.\tMostly\tfailing,\tbut\they. \u201cAre\tthere\tactual\tstudies?\u201d\tJeremy\tasked. \u201cMmm?\u201d\tAnh\twas\tpulling\ther\thair\tup\tin\ta\tbun. \u201cOn\tthe\tlink\tbetween\tfreckles\tand\tskin\tcancer.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow.\u201d \u201cFeels\tlike\tthere\twould\tbe.\u201d \u201cTrue.\tI\twanna\tknow\tnow.\u201d \u201cHold\ton.\tIs\tthere\tWi-Fi\there?\u201d \u201cOl,\tdo\tyou\thave\tinternet?\u201d Olive\t wiped\t her\t hands\t on\t a\t napkin\t that\t looked\t mostly\t unused.\t \u201cI\t left\t my phone\tin\tMalcolm\u2019s\tcar.\u201d She\tturned\ther\thead\taway\tfrom\tAnh\tand\tJeremy,\twho\twere\tnow\tstudying\tthe screen\t of\t Jeremy\u2019s\t iPhone,\t until\t she\t had\t a\t good\t view\t of\t the\t Ultimate\t Frisbee group\u2014fourteen\t men\t and\t zero\t women.\t It\t probably\t had\t to\t do\t with\t the\t general excess\tof\ttestosterone\tin\tSTEM\tprograms.\tAt\tleast\thalf\tthe\tplayers\twere\tfaculty or\t postdocs.\t Adam,\t of\t course,\t and\t Tom,\t and\t Dr.\t Rodrigues,\t and\t several\t others from\t pharmacology.\t All\t equally\t shirtless.\t Though,\t no.\t Not\t equal\t at\t all.\t There was\treally\tnothing\tequal\tabout\tAdam.","Olive\t wasn\u2019t\t like\t this.\t She\t really\t was\t not.\t She\t could\t count\t the\t number\t of guys\t she\u2019d\t been\t this\t viscerally\t attracted\t to\t on\t one\t hand.\t Actually\u2014on\t one finger.\t And\t at\t the\t moment\t said\t guy\t was\t running\t toward\t her,\t because\t Tom Benton,\tbless\this\theart,\thad\tjust\tthrown\tthe\tFrisbee\tway\ttoo\tclumsily,\tand\tit\twas now\tin\ta\tpatch\tof\tgrass\tapproximately\tten\tfeet\tfrom\tOlive.\tAnd\tAdam,\tshirtless Adam,\tjust\thappened\tto\tbe\tthe\tone\tclosest\tto\twhere\tit\tlanded. \u201cOh,\tcheck\tout\tthis\tpaper.\u201d\tJeremy\tsounded\texcited. \u201cKhalesi\t et\t al.,\t 2013.\t It\u2019s\t a\t meta-analysis.\t \u2018Cutaneous\t markers\t of\t photo- damage\t and\t risk\t of\t basal\t cell\t carcinoma\t of\t the\t skin.\u2019\t In\t Cancer\t Epidemiology, Biomarkers\t&\tPrevention.\u201d Jeremy\tfist-pumped.\t\u201cOlive,\tare\tyou\tlistening\tto\tthis?\u201d Nope.\t No,\t she\t was\t not.\t She\t was\t mostly\t trying\t to\t empty\t her\t brain,\t and\t her eyes,\ttoo.\tOf\ther\tfake\tboyfriend\tand\tthe\tsudden\twarm\tache\tin\ther\tstomach.\tShe just\twished\tshe\twere\telsewhere.\tThat\tshe\twere\ttemporarily\tblind\tand\tdeaf. \u201cHear\tthis:\tsolar\tlentigines\thad\tweak\tbut\tpositive\tassociations\twith\tbasal\tcell carcinoma,\twith\todds\tratios\taround\t1.5.\tOkay,\tI\tdon\u2019t\tlike\tthis.\tJeremy,\thold\tthe phone.\t I\u2019m\t giving\t Olive\t more\t sunscreen.\t Here\u2019s\t SPF\t fifty;\t it\u2019s\t probably\t what you\tneed.\u201d Olive\t tore\t her\t eyes\t from\t Adam\u2019s\t chest,\t now\t alarmingly\t close,\t and\t turned around,\tstepping\taway\tfrom\tAnh.\t\u201cWait.\tI\talready\tput\tsome\ton.\u201d \u201cOl,\u201d\t Anh\t told\t her,\t with\t that\t sensible,\t motherly\t tone\t she\t used\t whenever Olive\tslipped\tand\tconfessed\tthat\tshe\tmostly\tgot\ther\tveggie\tservings\tfrom\tfrench fries,\tor\tthat\tshe\twashed\ther\tcolors\tand\twhites\tin\tthe\tsame\tload.\t\u201cYou\tknow\tthe literature.\u201d \u201cI\tdo\tnot\tknow\tthe\tliterature,\tand\tneither\tdo\tyou,\tyou\tjust\tknow\tone\tline\tfrom one\tabstract\tand\u2014\u201d Anh\t grabbed\t Olive\u2019s\t hand\t again\t and\t poured\t half\t a\t gallon\t of\t lotion\t in\t it.\t So much\tof\tit\tthat\tOlive\thad\tto\tuse\ther\tleft\tpalm\tto\tprevent\tit\tfrom\tspilling\tover\u2014 until\tshe\twas\tjust\tstanding\tthere\tlike\tan\tidiot,\ther\thands\tcupped\tlike\ta\tbeggar\tas she\thalf\tdrowned\tin\tgoddamn\tsunscreen. \u201cHere\t you\t go.\u201d\t Anh\t smiled\t brightly.\t \u201cNow\t you\t can\t protect\t yourself\t from basal\tcell\tcarcinoma.\tWhich,\tfrankly,\tsounds\tawful.\u201d \u201cI\t.\t.\t.\u201d\tOlive\twould\thave\tface-palmed,\tif\tshe\u2019d\thad\tthe\tfreedom\tto\tmove\ther upper\t limbs.\t \u201cI\t hate\t sunscreen.\t It\u2019s\t sticky\t and\t it\t makes\t me\t smell\t like\t a\t pi\u00f1a","colada\tand\u2014this\tis\tway\ttoo\tmuch.\u201d \u201cJust\tput\ton\tas\tmuch\tas\tyour\tskin\twill\tabsorb.\tEspecially\taround\tthe\tfreckled areas.\tThe\trest,\tyou\tcan\tshare\twith\tsomeone.\u201d \u201cOkay.\t Anh,\t then,\t you\t take\t some.\t You\t too,\t Jeremy.\t You\u2019re\t a\t ginger,\t for God\u2019s\tsake.\u201d \u201cA\t redhead\t with\t no\t freckles,\t though.\u201d\t He\t smiled\t proudly,\t like\t he\u2019d\t created his\t genotype\t all\t on\t his\t own.\t \u201cAnd\t I\t already\t put\t on\t a\t ton.\t Thanks,\t babe.\u201d\t He leaned\tdown\tfor\ta\tbrief\tkiss\tto\tAnh\u2019s\tcheek,\twhich\talmost\tdevolved\tinto\ta\tmake- out\tsession. Olive\ttried\tnot\tto\tsigh.\t\u201cGuys,\twhat\tdo\tI\tdo\twith\tthis?\u201d \u201cJust\tfind\tsomeone\telse.\tWhere\tdid\tMalcolm\tgo?\u201d Jeremy\tsnorted.\t\u201cOver\tthere,\twith\tJude.\u201d \u201cJude?\u201d\tAnh\tfrowned. \u201cYeah,\tthat\tneuro\tfifth-year.\u201d \u201cThe\tMD-Ph.D.?\tAre\tthey\tdating\tor\u2014\u201d \u201cGuys.\u201d\tIt\ttook\tOlive\tall\tshe\thad\tnot\tto\tyell.\t\u201cI\thave\tno\tmobility.\tPlease,\tfix this\tsunscreen\tmess\tyou\tcreated.\u201d \u201cGod,\tOl.\u201d\tAnh\trolled\ther\teyes.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tso\tdramatic\tsometimes.\tHang\ton\u2014\u201d She\t waved\t at\t someone\t behind\t Olive,\t and\t when\t she\t spoke,\t her\t voice\t was\t much louder.\t\u201cHey,\tDr.\tCarlsen!\tHave\tyou\tput\ton\tsunscreen\tyet?\u201d In\tthe\tspan\tof\ta\tmicrosecond\tOlive\u2019s\tentire\tbrain\tburst\tinto\tflames\u2014and\tthen crumbled\t into\t a\t pile\t of\t ashes.\t Just\t like\t that,\t one\t hundred\t billion\t neurons,\t one thousand\tbillion\tglial\tcells,\tand\twho\tknew\thow\tmany\tmilliliters\tof\tcerebrospinal fluid,\t just\t ceased\t to\t exist.\t The\t rest\t of\t her\t body\t was\t not\t doing\t very\t well,\t either, since\t Olive\t could\t feel\t all\t her\t organs\t shut\t down\t in\t real\t time.\t From\t the\t very beginning\tof\ther\tacquaintance\twith\tAdam\tthere\thad\tbeen\tabout\tten\tinstances\tof Olive\t wishing\t to\t drop\t dead\t on\t the\t spot,\t for\t the\t earth\t to\t open\t and\t swallow\t her whole,\t for\t a\t cataclysm\t to\t hit\t and\t spare\t her\t from\t the\t embarrassment\t of\t their interactions.\t This\t time,\t though,\t it\t felt\t as\t though\t the\t end\t of\t the\t world\t might happen\tfor\treal. Don\u2019t\tturn\taround,\twhat\u2019s\tleft\tof\ther\tcentral\tnervous\tsystem\ttold\ther.\tPretend you\t didn\u2019t\t hear\t Anh.\t Will\t this\t into\t nonexistence.\t But\t it\t was\t impossible.\t There was\t this\t triangle\t of\t sorts,\t formed\t by\t Olive,\t and\t Anh\t in\t front\t of\t her,\t and\t Adam probably\u2014surely\u2014standing\tbehind\ther;\tit\twasn\u2019t\tas\tif\tOlive\thad\ta\tchoice.\tAny","choice.\t Especially\t when\t Adam,\t who\t couldn\u2019t\t possibly\t imagine\t the\t depraved direction\t of\t Anh\u2019s\t thoughts,\t who\t couldn\u2019t\t possibly\t see\t the\t bucketful\t of sunscreen\tthat\thad\ttaken\tresidence\tin\tOlive\u2019s\thands,\tsaid,\t\u201cNo.\u201d Well.\tShit. Olive\t spun\t around,\t and\t there\t he\t was\u2014sweaty,\t holding\t a\t Frisbee\t in\t his\t left hand,\tand\tso\tvery,\tvery\tshirtless.\t\u201cPerfect,\tthen!\u201d\tAnh\tsaid,\tsounding\tso\tchipper. \u201cOlive\thas\tway\ttoo\tmuch\tand\twas\twondering\twhat\tto\tdo\twith\tit.\tShe\u2019ll\tput\tsome on\tyou!\u201d No.\t No,\t no,\t no.\t \u201cI\t can\u2019t,\u201d\t she\t hissed\t at\t Anh.\t \u201cIt\t would\t be\t highly inappropriate.\u201d \u201cWhy?\u201d\t Anh\t blinked\t at\t her\t innocently.\t \u201cI\t put\t sunscreen\t on\t Jeremy\t all\t the time.\tLook\u201d\u2014she\tsquirted\tlotion\ton\ther\thand\tand\thaphazardly\tslapped\tit\tacross Jeremy\u2019s\tface\u2014\t\u201cI\tam\tputting\tsunscreen\ton\tmy\tboyfriend.\tBecause\tI\tdon\u2019t\twant him\tto\tget\tmelanoma.\tAm\tI\t\u2018inappropriate\u2019?\u201d Olive\twas\tgoing\tto\tmurder\ther.\tOlive\twas\tgoing\tto\tmake\ther\tlick\tevery\tdrop of\t this\t stupid\t sunscreen\t and\t watch\t her\t writhe\t in\t pain\t as\t she\t slowly\t died\t of oxybenzone\tpoisoning. Later,\t though.\t For\t now,\t Adam\t was\t looking\t at\t her,\t expression\t completely unreadable,\tand\tOlive\twould\thave\tapologized,\tshe\twould\thave\tcrawled\tunder\tthe table,\tshe\twould\thave\tat\tleast\twaved\tat\thim\u2014but\tall\tshe\tcould\tdo\twas\tstare\tand notice\tthat\teven\tthough\tthe\tlast\ttime\tthey\u2019d\ttalked\tshe\u2019d\tinsulted\thim,\the\tdidn\u2019t really\t seem\t angry.\t Just\t thoughtful\t and\t a\t little\t confused\t as\t he\t looked\t between Olive\u2019s\t face\t and\t the\t small\t lake\t of\t white\t goop\t that\t now\t lived\t in\t her\t hands, probably\ttrying\tto\tfigure\tout\tif\tthere\twas\ta\tway\tto\tget\tout\tof\tthis\tlatest\tshitshow \u2014and\tthen,\tfinally,\tjust\tgiving\tup\ton\tit. He\t nodded\t once,\t minutely,\t and\t turned\t around,\t the\t muscles\t in\t his\t back shifting\tas\the\tthrew\tDr.\tRodrigues\tthe\tFrisbee\tand\tyelled,\t\u201cI\u2019m\ttaking\tfive!\u201d Which,\t Olive\t assumed,\t meant\t that\t they\t were\t actually\t doing\t this.\t Of\t course they\t damn\t were.\t Because\t this\t was\t her\t life,\t and\t these\t were\t her\t poor,\t moronic, harebrained\tchoices. \u201cHey,\u201d\tAdam\tsaid\tto\ther\tonce\tthey\twere\tcloser.\tHe\twas\tlooking\tat\ther\thands, at\t the\t way\t she\t had\t to\t hold\t them\t in\t front\t of\t her\t body\t like\t a\t supplicant.\t Behind her,\tAnh\tand\tJeremy\twere\tno\tdoubt\togling\tthem.","\u201cHey.\u201d\t She\t was\t wearing\t flip-flops,\t and\t he\t had\t sneakers\t on,\t and\u2014he\t was always\ttall,\tbut\tright\tnow\the\ttowered\tover\ther.\tIt\tput\ther\teyes\tright\tin\tfront\tof\this pecs,\tand\t.\t.\t.\tNo.\tNope.\tNot\tdoing\tthat. \u201cCan\tyou\tturn\taround?\u201d He\t hesitated\t for\t a\t moment,\t but\t then\t he\t did,\t uncharacteristically\t obedient. Which\t ended\t up\t resolving\t none\t of\t Olive\u2019s\t problems,\t since\t his\t back\t was\t in\t no way\tless\tbroad\tor\timpressive\tthan\this\tchest. \u201cCan\tyou,\tum\t.\t.\t.\tduck\ta\tbit?\u201d Adam\t bent\t his\t head\t until\t his\t shoulders\t were\t .\t .\t .\t still\t abnormally\t high\t but somewhat\t easier\t to\t reach.\t As\t she\t lifted\t her\t right\t hand,\t some\t of\t the\t lotion dripped\t to\t the\t ground\u2014Where\t it\t belongs,\t she\t thought\t savagely\u2014and\t then\t she was\t doing\t it,\t this\t thing\t that\t she\t had\t never\t thought\t she\t would\t ever,\t ever\t do. Putting\tsunscreen\ton\tAdam\tCarlsen. It\t wasn\u2019t\t her\t first\t time\t touching\t him.\t Therefore,\t she\t shouldn\u2019t\t have\t been surprised\t by\t how\t hard\t his\t muscles\t were,\t or\t that\t there\t was\t no\t give\t to\t his\t flesh. Olive\t remembered\t the\t way\t he\u2019d\t pushed\t the\t truck,\t imagined\t that\t he\t could probably\t bench-press\t three\t times\t her\t weight,\t and\t then\t ordered\t herself\t to\t stop, because\t that\t was\t not\t an\t appropriate\t train\t of\t thought.\t Still,\t the\t issue\t remained that\tthere\twas\tnothing\tbetween\ther\thand\tand\this\tskin.\tHe\twas\thot\tfrom\tthe\tsun, his\t shoulders\t relaxed\t and\t immobile\t under\t her\t touch.\t Even\t in\t public,\t close\t as they\twere,\tit\tfelt\tlike\tsomething\tintimate\twas\thappening. \u201cSo.\u201d\tHer\tmouth\twas\tdry.\t\u201cThis\tmight\tbe\ta\tgood\ttime\tto\tmention\thow\tsorry\tI am\tthat\twe\tkeep\tgetting\tstuck\tin\tthese\tsituations.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tfine.\u201d \u201cI\treally\tam,\tthough.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\tyour\tfault.\u201d\tThere\twas\tan\tedge\tin\this\tvoice. \u201cAre\tyou\tokay?\u201d \u201cYep.\u201d\t He\t nodded,\t though\t the\t movement\t seemed\t taut.\t Which\t had\t Olive realizing\tthat\tmaybe\the\twas\tnot\tas\trelaxed\tas\tshe\u2019d\tinitially\tthought. \u201cHow\t much\t do\t you\t hate\t this,\t on\t a\t scale\t from\t one\t to\t \u2018correlation\t equals causation\u2019?\u201d He\tsurprised\ther\tby\tchuckling,\tthough\the\tstill\tsounded\tstrained.\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\thate it.\tAnd\tit\u2019s\tnot\tyour\tfault.\u201d \u201cBecause\tI\tknow\tthis\tis\tthe\tworst\tpossible\tthing,\tand\u2014\u201d","\u201cIt\tisn\u2019t.\tOlive.\u201d\tHe\tturned\ta\tbit\tto\tlook\ther\tin\tthe\teyes,\ta\tmix\tof\tamusement and\tthat\todd\ttension.\t\u201cThese\tthings\tare\tgoing\tto\tkeep\ton\thappening.\u201d \u201cRight.\u201d His\t fingers\t brushed\t softly\t against\t her\t left\t palm\t as\t he\t stole\t a\t bit\t of\t her sunscreen\tfor\this\tfront.\tWhich,\tall\tin\tall,\twas\tfor\tthe\tbest.\tShe\treally\tdidn\u2019t\twant to\tbe\tmassaging\tlotion\tinto\this\tchest\tin\tfront\tof\t70\tpercent\tof\ther\tPh.D.\tprogram \u2014not\t to\t mention\t her\t boss,\t since\t Dr.\t Aslan\t was\t probably\t watching\t them\t like\t a hawk.\tOr\tmaybe\tshe\twasn\u2019t.\tOlive\thad\tno\tintention\tof\tturning\taround\tto\tcheck. She\u2019d\t rather\t live\t in\t less-than-blissful\t ignorance.\t \u201cMostly\t because\t you\t hang\t out with\tsome\treally\tnosy\tpeople.\u201d She\t burst\t out\t laughing.\t \u201cI\t know.\t Believe\t me,\t I\u2019m\t really\t regretting befriending\t Anh\t right\t now.\t Kind\t of\t contemplating\t assassinating\t her,\t to\t tell\t the truth.\u201d She\tmoved\tto\this\tshoulder\tblades.\tHe\thad\ta\tlot\tof\tsmall\tmoles\tand\tfreckles, and\t she\t wondered\t exactly\t how\t inappropriate\t it\t would\t be\t if\t she\t played\t connect the\tdots\ton\tthem\twith\ther\tfingers.\tShe\tcould\tjust\timagine\tthe\tamazing\tpictures\tit would\treveal. \u201cBut\they,\tthe\tlong-term\tbenefits\tof\tsunscreen\thave\tbeen\tproven\tby\tscientists. And\tyou\tare\tpretty\tpale.\tHere,\tduck\ta\tbit\tmore,\tso\tI\tcan\tget\tyour\tneck.\u201d \u201cMmm.\u201d She\t walked\t around\t him\t to\t get\t to\t the\t front\t part\t of\t his\t shoulders.\t He\t was\t so big,\t she\t was\t going\t to\t have\t to\t use\t all\t this\t stupid\t lotion.\t Might\t even\t need\t to\t ask Anh\t for\t more.\t \u201cAt\t least\t the\t department\t chair\t is\t getting\t a\t show.\t And\t you\t look like\tyou\u2019re\thaving\tfun.\u201d He\t glanced\t pointedly\t at\t the\t way\t her\t hand\t was\t spreading\t sunscreen\t on\t his collarbone.\tOlive\u2019s\tcheeks\tburned.\t\u201cNo,\tI\tmean\u2014not\tbecause\tI\tam\t.\t.\t.\tI\tmeant, you\tlook\tlike\tyou\u2019re\thaving\ta\tgood\ttime\tplaying\tFrisbee.\tOr\twhatever.\u201d He\tmade\ta\tface.\t\u201cBeats\tchitchatting,\tfor\tsure.\u201d She\t laughed.\t \u201cThat\t makes\t sense.\t I\t bet\t that\u2019s\t why\t you\u2019re\t so\t fit.\t You\t played lots\t of\t sports\t growing\t up\t because\t it\t got\t you\t out\t of\t talking\t with\t people.\t It\t also explains\t why\t now\t that\t you\u2019re\t an\t adult\t your\t personality\t is\t so\u2014\u201d\t Olive\t stopped short. Adam\tlifted\tone\teyebrow.\t\u201cAntagonistic\tand\tunapproachable?\u201d Crap.\t\u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\tsay\tthat.\u201d","\u201cYou\tjust\ttyped\tit.\u201d \u201cI-I\u2019m\t sorry.\t I\u2019m\t very\t sorry.\t I\t didn\u2019t\t mean\t to\u2014\u201d\t She\t pressed\t her\t lips together,\tflustered.\tThen\tshe\tnoticed\tthat\tthe\tcorners\tof\this\teyes\twere\tcrinkling. \u201cDamn\tyou.\u201d She\t pinched\t him\t lightly\t on\t the\t underside\t of\t his\t arm.\t He\t yelped\t and\t smiled wider,\twhich\tmade\ther\twonder\twhat\the\twould\tdo\tif\tshe\tretaliated\tby\twriting\ther name\twith\tsunscreen\ton\this\tchest,\tjust\tenough\tfor\thim\tto\tonly\tget\ta\ttan\taround\tit. She\t tried\t to\t imagine\t his\t face\t after\t taking\t off\t his\t T-shirt,\t finding\t the\t five\t letters printed\ton\this\tflesh\tin\tthe\treflection\tof\this\tbathroom\tmirror.\tThe\texpression\the\u2019d make.\tWhether\the\u2019d\ttouch\tthem\twith\this\tfingertips. Crazy,\t she\t told\t herself.\t This\t whole\t thing,\t it\u2019s\t driving\t you\t crazy.\t So\t he\u2019s handsome,\tand\tyou\tfind\thim\tattractive.\tBig\tdeal.\tWho\tcares? She\t wiped\t her\t mostly\t lotion-free\t hands\t down\t the\t columns\t of\t his\t biceps\t and took\ta\tstep\tback.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tgood\tto\tgo,\tDr.\tAntagonistic.\u201d He\tsmelled\tof\tfresh\tsweat,\thimself,\tand\tcoconut.\tOlive\twasn\u2019t\tgoing\tto\tget\tto talk\t with\t him\t again\t until\t Wednesday,\t and\t why\t the\t thought\t came\t with\t an\t odd pang\tin\ther\tchest,\tshe\thad\tno\tclue. \u201cThanks.\tAnd\tthank\tAnh,\tI\tguess.\u201d \u201cMm.\tWhat\tdo\tyou\tthink\tshe\u2019ll\thave\tus\tdo\tnext\ttime?\u201d He\tshrugged.\t\u201cHold\thands?\u201d \u201cFeed\teach\tother\tstrawberries?\u201d \u201cGood\tone.\u201d \u201cMaybe\tshe\u2019ll\tup\ther\tgame.\u201d \u201cFake\twedding?\u201d \u201cFake-buy\ta\thouse\ttogether?\u201d \u201cFake-sign\tthe\tmortgage\tpaperwork?\u201d Olive\tlaughed,\tand\tthe\tway\the\tlooked\tat\ther,\tkind\tand\tcurious\tand\tpatient\t.\t.\t. she\tmust\tbe\thallucinating\tit.\tHer\thead\twas\tnot\tright.\tShe\tshould\thave\tbrought\ta sun\that. \u201cHey,\tOlive.\u201d She\t tore\t her\t gaze\t from\t Adam\u2019s\t and\t noticed\t Tom\t approaching.\t He,\t too,\t was shirtless,\tand\tclearly\tfit,\tand\thad\ta\tlarge\tnumber\tof\tabs\tthat\twere\tdefined\tenough to\t be\t easily\t counted.\t And\t yet,\t for\t some\t reason,\t it\t did\t absolutely\t nothing\t for Olive.","\u201cHi,\t Tom.\u201d\t She\t smiled,\t even\t though\t she\t was\t a\t little\t irritated\t by\t the interruption.\t\u201cLoved\tyour\ttalk\tthe\tother\tday.\u201d \u201cIt\twas\tgood,\twasn\u2019t\tit?\tDid\tAdam\ttell\tyou\tabout\tour\tchange\tof\tplans?\u201d She\ttilted\ther\thead.\t\u201cChange\tof\tplans?\u201d \u201cWe\u2019ve\t been\t making\t great\t progress\t on\t the\t grant,\t so\t we\u2019re\t going\t to\t Boston next\tweek\tto\tfinish\tsetting\tup\tstuff\ton\tthe\tHarvard\tside.\u201d \u201cOh,\tthat\u2019s\tgreat.\u201d\tShe\tturned\tto\tAdam.\t\u201cHow\tlong\twill\tyou\tbe\tgone?\u201d \u201cJust\ta\tfew\tdays.\u201d\tHis\ttone\twas\tquiet.\tOlive\tfelt\trelief\tthat\tit\twasn\u2019t\tgoing\tto be\tlonger.\tFor\tindiscernible\treasons. \u201cWould\tyou\tbe\table\tto\tsend\tme\tyour\treport\tby\tSaturday,\tOlive?\u201d\tTom\tasked. \u201cThen\t I\u2019ll\t have\t the\t weekend\t to\t look\t it\t over,\t and\t we\u2019ll\t discuss\t it\t while\t I\u2019m\t still here.\u201d Her\t brain\t exploded\t in\t a\t flurry\t of\t panic\t and\t bright\t red-alert\t signs,\t but\t she managed\t to\t keep\t her\t smile\t in\t place.\t \u201cYeah,\t of\t course.\t I\u2019ll\t send\t it\t to\t you\t on Saturday.\u201d\t Oh\t God.\t Oh\t God.\t She\t was\t going\t to\t have\t to\t work\t around\t the\t clock. She\twasn\u2019t\tgoing\tto\tget\tany\tsleep\tthis\tweek.\tShe\twas\tgoing\tto\thave\tto\tbring\ther laptop\t to\t the\t toilet\t and\t write\t while\t she\t peed.\t \u201cNo\t problem\t at\t all,\u201d\t she\t added, leaning\teven\tharder\tinto\ther\tlie. \u201cPerfect.\u201d\tTom\twinked\tat\ther,\tor\tmaybe\tjust\tsquinted\tin\tthe\tsun.\t\u201cYou\tgoing back\tto\tplay?\u201d\the\tasked\tAdam,\tand\twhen\tAdam\tnodded,\tTom\tspun\taround\tand headed\tback\tinto\tthe\tgame. Adam\t hesitated\t for\t just\t a\t second\t longer,\t then\t he\t nodded\t at\t Olive\t and\t left. She\ttried\thard\tnot\tto\tstare\tat\this\tback\tas\the\trejoined\this\tteam,\twhich\tseemed\tto be\t overjoyed\t to\t have\t him\t again.\t Clearly,\t sports\t were\t another\t thing\t Adam Carlsen\texcelled\tat\u2014unfairly\tso. She\tdidn\u2019t\teven\thave\tto\tcheck\tto\tknow\tthat\tAnh\tand\tJeremy\tand\tpretty\tmuch everyone\t else\t had\t been\t staring\t at\t them\t for\t the\t past\t five\t minutes.\t She\t fished\t a seltzer\tcan\tout\tof\tthe\tnearest\tcooler,\treminding\therself\tthat\tthis\twas\texactly\twhat they\twanted\tfrom\tthis\tarrangement,\tand\tthen\tfound\ta\tspot\tunder\tan\toak\ttree\tnext to\t her\t friends\u2014all\t this\t sunscreen\t fuss,\t and\t now\t they\t were\t sitting\t in\t the\t shade. Go\tfigure. She\twasn\u2019t\teven\tthat\thungry\tanymore,\ta\tsmall\tmiracle\tcourtesy\tof\thaving\tto apply\tsunscreen\tto\ther\tfake\tboyfriend\tvery\tpublicly.","\u201cSo,\t what\u2019s\t he\t like?\u201d\t Anh\t asked.\t She\t was\t lying\t down\t with\t her\t head\t on Jeremy\u2019s\t lap.\t Above\t her,\t Malcolm\t was\t staring\t at\t the\t Frisbee\t players,\t probably swooning\tover\thow\tpretty\tHolden\tRodrigues\tlooked\tin\tthe\tsun. \u201cMm?\u201d \u201cCarlsen.\tOh,\tactually\u201d\u2014Anh\tsmirked\u2014\u201cI\tmeant\tto\tsay\tAdam.\tYou\tcall\thim Adam,\tright?\tOr\tdo\tyou\tprefer\tDr.\tCarlsen?\tIf\tyou\tguys\trole-play\twith\tschoolgirl uniforms\tand\trulers,\tI\ttotally\twant\tto\thear\tabout\tit.\u201d \u201cAnh.\u201d \u201cYeah,\t how\t is\t Carlsen?\u201d\t Jeremy\t asked.\t \u201cI\u2019m\t assuming\t he\u2019s\t different\t with you\tthan\twith\tus.\tOr\tdoes\the\talso\ttell\tyou\trepeatedly\tthat\tthe\tfont\tfor\tthe\tlabels of\tyour\tx-\tand\ty-axis\tis\tirritatingly\tsmall?\u201d Olive\tsmiled\tinto\ther\tknees,\tbecause\tshe\tcould\ttotally\timagine\tAdam\tsaying that.\tCould\talmost\thear\this\tvoice\tin\ther\thead.\t\u201cNo.\tNot\tyet,\tat\tleast.\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s\the\tlike,\tthen?\u201d She\topened\ther\tmouth\tto\tanswer,\tthinking\tit\twould\tbe\teasy.\tOf\tcourse,\tit\twas everything\tbut.\t\u201cHe\u2019s\tjust\t.\t.\t.\tyou\tknow.\u201d \u201cWe\tdon\u2019t,\u201d\tAnh\tsaid.\t\u201cThere\tmust\tbe\tmore\tto\thim\tthan\tmeets\tthe\teye.\tHe\u2019s so\tmoody\tand\tnegative\tand\tangry\tand\u2014\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s\tnot,\u201d\tOlive\tinterrupted.\tAnd\tthen\tregretted\tit\ta\tlittle,\tbecause\tit\twasn\u2019t entirely\ttrue.\t\u201cHe\tcan\tbe.\tBut\the\tcan\tnot\tbe,\ttoo.\u201d \u201cIf\t you\t say\t so.\u201d\t Anh\t seemed\t unconvinced.\t \u201cHow\t did\t you\t even\t start\t dating? You\tnever\ttold\tme.\u201d \u201cOh.\u201d\tOlive\tlooked\taway\tand\tlet\ther\tgaze\twander.\tAdam\tmust\thave\tjust\tdone something\t noteworthy,\t because\t he\t and\t Dr.\t Rodrigues\t were\t exchanging\t a\t high five.\t She\t noticed\t Tom\t staring\t at\t her\t from\t the\t field\t and\t waved\t at\t him\t with\t a smile.\t\u201cUm,\twe\tjust\ttalked.\tAnd\tthen\tgot\tcoffee.\tAnd\tthen\t.\t.\t.\u201d \u201cHow\t does\t that\t even\t happen?\u201d\t Jeremy\t interrupted,\t clearly\t skeptical.\t \u201cHow does\tone\tdecide\tto\tsay\tyes\tto\ta\tdate\twith\tCarlsen?\tBefore\tseeing\thim\thalf-naked, anyway.\u201d You\tkiss\thim.\tYou\tkiss\thim,\tand\tthen,\tnext\tthing\tyou\tknow,\the\u2019s\tsaving\tyour ass\t and\t he\u2019s\t buying\t you\t scones\t and\t calling\t you\t a\t smart-ass\t in\t a\t weirdly affectionate\t tone,\t and\t even\t when\t he\u2019s\t being\t his\t moody\t asshole\t self,\t he\t doesn\u2019t seem\t to\t be\t that\t bad.\t Or\t bad\t at\t all.\t And\t then\t you\t tell\t him\t to\t fuck\t off\t over\t the phone\tand\tpossibly\truin\teverything.","\u201cHe\t just\t asked\t me\t out.\t And\t I\t said\t yes.\u201d\t Though\t it\t was\t obviously\t a\t lie. Someone\t with\t a\t Lancet\t publication\t and\t back\t muscles\t that\t defined\t would\t never ask\tsomeone\tlike\tOlive\tout. \u201cSo\tyou\tdidn\u2019t\tmeet\ton\tTinder?\u201d \u201cWhat?\tNo.\u201d \u201cBecause\tthat\u2019s\twhat\tpeople\tare\tsaying.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tnot\ton\tTinder.\u201d \u201cIs\tCarlsen?\u201d No.\tMaybe.\tYes?\tOlive\tmassaged\ther\ttemples.\t\u201cWho\u2019s\tsaying\tthat\twe\tmet\ton Tinder?\u201d \u201cActually,\t rumor\u2019s\t that\t they\t met\t on\t Craigslist,\u201d\t Malcolm\t said\t distractedly, waving\t at\t someone.\t She\t followed\t his\t gaze\t and\t noticed\t that\t he\t was\t staring\t at Holden\tRodrigues\u2014who\tappeared\tto\tbe\tsmiling\tand\twaving\tback. Olive\tfrowned.\tThen\tshe\tparsed\twhat\tMalcolm\thad\tjust\tsaid.\t\u201cCraigslist?\u201d Malcolm\tshrugged.\t\u201cNot\tsaying\tthat\tI\tbelieved\tit.\u201d \u201cWho\tare\tpeople?\tAnd\twhy\tare\tthey\teven\ttalking\tabout\tus?\u201d Anh\treached\tup\tto\tpat\tOlive\ton\tthe\tshoulder.\t\u201cDon\u2019t\tworry,\tthe\tgossip\tabout you\t and\t Carlsen\t died\t down\t after\t Dr.\t Moss\t and\t Sloane\t had\t that\t very\t public argument\tabout\tpeople\tdisposing\tof\tblood\tsamples\tin\tthe\tladies\u2019\trestroom.\tWell, for\tthe\tmost\tpart.\tHey.\u201d She\tsat\tup\tand\twrapped\tan\tarm\taround\tOlive,\tpulling\ther\tin\tfor\tan\tembrace. She\tsmelled\tlike\tcoconut.\tStupid,\tstupid\tsunscreen. \u201cChill.\t I\t know\t some\t people\t have\t been\t weird\t about\t this,\t but\t Jeremy\t and Malcolm\tand\tI\tare\tjust\thappy\tfor\tyou,\tOl.\u201d\tAnh\tsmiled\tat\ther\treassuringly,\tand Olive\tfelt\therself\trelax.\t\u201cMostly\tthat\tyou\u2019re\tfinally\tgetting\tlaid.\u201d","Chapter\tEight \tHYPOTHESIS:\tOn\ta\tLikert\tscale\tranging\tfrom\tone\tto\tten,\tJeremy\u2019s\ttiming\twill\tbe negative\tfifty,\twith\ta\tstandard\terror\tof\tthe\tmean\tof\tzero\tpoint\ttwo. Number\t thirty-seven\u2014salt-and-vinegar\t potato\t chips\u2014was\t sold\t out.\t It\t was frankly\tinexplicable:\tOlive\thad\tcome\tin\tat\t8:00\tp.m.,\tand\tthere\thad\tbeen\tat\tleast one\t bag\t left\t in\t the\t break\t room\u2019s\t vending\t machine.\t She\t distinctly\t remembered patting\t the\t back\t pocket\t of\t her\t jeans\t for\t quarters,\t and\t the\t feeling\t of\t triumph\t at finding\t exactly\t four.\t She\t recalled\t looking\t forward\t to\t that\t moment, approximately\t two\t hours\t later,\t by\t which\t time\t she\t estimated\t that\t she\u2019d\t have completed\texactly\ta\tthird\tof\ther\twork\tand\twould\tthus\tbe\table\tto\treward\therself with\t the\t indisputable\t best\t among\t the\t snacks\t that\t the\t fourth\t floor\t had\t to\t offer. Except\t that\t the\t moment\t had\t come,\t and\t there\t were\t no\t chips\t left.\t Which\t was\t a problem,\tbecause\tOlive\thad\talready\tinserted\ther\tprecious\tquarters\tinside\tthe\tcoin slot,\tand\tshe\twas\tvery\thungry. She\t selected\t number\t twenty-four\t (Twix)\u2014which\t was\t okay,\t though\t not\t her favorite\t by\t a\t long\t shot\u2014and\t listened\t to\t its\t dull,\t disappointing\t thud\t as\t it\t fell\t to the\t bottom\t shelf.\t Then\t she\t bent\t to\t pick\t it\t up,\t staring\t wistfully\t at\t the\t way\t the gold\twrapper\tshined\tin\ther\tpalm. \u201cI\t wish\t you\t were\t salt-and-vinegar\t chips,\u201d\t she\t whispered\t at\t it,\t a\t trace\t of resentment\tin\ther\tvoice. \u201cHere.\u201d \u201cAaah!\u201d\tShe\tstartled\tand\tinstantly\tturned\taround,\thands\tin\tfront\tof\ther\tbody and\t ready\t to\t defend\u2014possibly\t even\t to\t attack.\t But\t the\t only\t person\t in\t the\t break room\t was\t Adam,\t sitting\t on\t one\t of\t the\t small\t couches\t in\t the\t middle,\t looking\t at her\twith\ta\tbland,\tslightly\tamused\texpression.","She\t relaxed\t her\t pose\t and\t clutched\t her\t hands\t to\t her\t chest,\t willing\t her\t racing heartbeat\tto\tslow\tdown.\t\u201cWhen\tdid\tyou\tget\there?!\u201d \u201cFive\t minutes\t ago?\u201d\t He\t regarded\t her\t calmly.\t \u201cI\t was\t here\t when\t you\t came in.\u201d \u201cWhy\tdidn\u2019t\tyou\tsay\tsomething?\u201d He\ttilted\this\thead.\t\u201cI\tcould\task\tthe\tsame.\u201d She\t covered\t her\t mouth\t with\t her\t hand,\t trying\t to\t recover\t from\t the\t scare.\t \u201cI didn\u2019t\tsee\tyou.\tWhy\tare\tyou\tsitting\tin\tthe\tdark\tlike\ta\tcreep?\u201d \u201cLight\u2019s\t broken.\t As\t usual.\u201d\t Adam\t lifted\t his\t drink\u2014a\t bottle\t of\t Coke\t that hilariously\t read\t \u201cSeraphina\u201d\u2014and\t Olive\t remembered\t Jess,\t one\t of\t his\t grads, complaining\tabout\thow\tstrict\tAdam\twas\tabout\tbringing\tfood\tand\tdrinks\tinto\this lab.\tHe\tgrabbed\tsomething\tfrom\tthe\tcushion\tand\theld\tit\tout\tto\tOlive.\t\u201cHere.\tYou can\thave\tthe\trest\tof\tthe\tchips.\u201d Olive\tnarrowed\ther\teyes.\t\u201cYou.\u201d \u201cMe?\u201d \u201cYou\tstole\tmy\tchips.\u201d His\t mouth\t curved.\t \u201cSorry.\t You\t can\t have\t what\u2019s\t left.\u201d\t He\t peeked\t into\t the bag.\t\u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\thave\tmany,\tI\tdon\u2019t\tthink.\u201d She\thesitated\tand\tthen\tmade\ther\tway\tto\tthe\tcouch.\tShe\tdistrustfully\taccepted the\tsmall\tbag\tand\ttook\ta\tseat\tnext\tto\thim.\t\u201cThanks,\tI\tguess.\u201d He\tnodded,\ttaking\ta\tsip\tof\this\tdrink.\tShe\ttried\tnot\tto\tstare\tat\this\tthroat\tas\the tipped\this\thead\tback,\taverting\ther\teyes\tto\ther\tknees. \u201cShould\t you\t be\t having\t caffeine\t at\u201d\u2014Olive\t glanced\t at\t the\t clock\u2014\u201cten twenty-seven\tp.m.?\u201d\tCome\tto\tthink\tof\tit,\the\tshouldn\u2019t\tbe\thaving\tcaffeine\tat\tall, given\this\tbaseline\tshiny\tpersonality.\tAnd\tyet\tthe\ttwo\tof\tthem\tgot\tcoffee\ttogether every\tWednesday.\tOlive\twas\tnothing\tbut\tan\tenabler. \u201cI\tdoubt\tI\u2019ll\tbe\tsleeping\tmuch,\tanyway.\u201d \u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cI\tneed\tto\trun\ta\tset\tof\tlast-minute\tanalyses\tfor\ta\tgrant\tdue\ton\tSunday\tnight.\u201d \u201cOh.\u201d\t She\t leaned\t back,\t finding\t a\t more\t comfortable\t position.\t \u201cI\t thought\t you had\tminions\tfor\tthat.\u201d \u201cAs\t it\t turns\t out,\t asking\t your\t grads\t to\t pull\t an\t all-nighter\t for\t you\t is\t frowned upon\tby\tHR.\u201d \u201cWhat\ta\ttravesty.\u201d","\u201cTruly.\tWhat\tabout\tyou?\u201d \u201cTom\u2019s\t report.\u201d\t She\t sighed.\t \u201cI\u2019m\t supposed\t to\t send\t it\t to\t him\t tomorrow\t and there\u2019s\t a\t section\t that\t I\t just\t don\u2019t\t .\t .\t .\u201d\t She\t sighed\t again.\t \u201cI\u2019m\t rerunning\t a\t few analyses,\t just\t to\t make\t sure\t that\t everything\t is\t perfect,\t but\t the\t equipment\t I\u2019m working\twith\tis\tnot\texactly\t.\t.\t.\tugh.\u201d \u201cHave\tyou\ttold\tAysegul?\u201d Aysegul,\t he\u2019d\t said.\t Naturally.\t Because\t Adam\t was\t a\t colleague\t of\t Dr.\t Aslan, not\t her\t grad,\t and\t it\t made\t sense\t that\t he\u2019d\t think\t of\t her\t as\t Aysegul.\t It\t wasn\u2019t\t the first\ttime\the\u2019d\tcalled\ther\tthat;\tit\twasn\u2019t\teven\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tOlive\thad\tnoticed.\tIt was\tjust\thard\tto\treconcile,\twhen\tthey\twere\tsitting\talone\tand\ttalking\tquietly,\tthat Adam\twas\tfaculty\tand\tOlive\twas\tvery\tmuch\tnot.\tWorlds\tapart,\treally. \u201cI\t did,\t but\t there\u2019s\t no\t money\t to\t get\t anything\t better.\t She\u2019s\t a\t great\t mentor, but\t .\t .\t .\t last\t year\t her\t husband\t got\t sick\t and\t she\t decided\t to\t retire\t early,\t and sometimes\t it\t feels\t like\t she\u2019s\t stopped\t caring.\u201d\t Olive\t rubbed\t her\t temple.\t She could\t feel\t a\t headache\t coming\t up\t and\t had\t a\t long\t night\t ahead\t of\t her.\t \u201cAre\t you going\tto\ttell\ther\tI\ttold\tyou\tthat?\u201d \u201cOf\tcourse.\u201d She\tgroaned.\t\u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d \u201cMight\t also\t tell\t her\t about\t the\t kisses\t you\u2019ve\t been\t extorting,\t and\t the\t fake- dating\tscheme\tyou\troped\tme\tinto,\tand\tabove\tall\tabout\tthe\tsunscreen\u2014\u201d \u201cOh\t God.\u201d\t Olive\t hid\t her\t face\t in\t her\t knees,\t arms\t coming\t up\t to\t wrap\t around her\thead.\t\u201cGod.\tThe\tsunscreen.\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d\tHis\tvoice\tsounded\tmuffled\tfrom\tdown\there.\t\u201cYeah,\tthat\twas\t.\t.\t.\u201d \u201cAwkward?\u201d\t she\t offered,\t sitting\t back\t straight\t with\t a\t grimace.\t Adam\t was looking\telsewhere.\tShe\twas\tprobably\timagining\tit,\tthe\tway\the\twas\tflushing. He\tcleared\this\tthroat.\t\u201cAmong\tother\tthings.\u201d \u201cYep.\u201d\tIt\thad\tbeen\tother\tthings,\ttoo.\tA\tlot\tof\tthings\tthat\tshe\twas\tnot\tgoing\tto mention,\tbecause\ther\tother\tthings\twere\tsure\tto\tnot\tbe\this\tother\tthings.\tHis\tother things\twere\tprobably\t\u201cterrible\u201d\tand\t\u201charrowing\u201d\tand\t\u201cinvasive.\u201d\tWhile\thers\t.\t.\t. \u201cIs\tthe\tsunscreen\tgoing\tin\tthe\tTitle\tIX\tcomplaint?\u201d His\t mouth\t twitched.\t \u201cRight\t on\t the\t first\t page.\t Nonconsensual\t sunblock application.\u201d \u201cOh,\tcome\ton.\tI\tsaved\tyou\tfrom\tbasal\tcell\tcarcinoma.\u201d \u201cGroped\tunder\tSPF\tpretense.\u201d","She\t swatted\t him\t with\t her\t Twix,\t and\t he\t ducked\t a\t bit\t to\t avoid\t her,\t amused. \u201cHey,\tyou\twant\thalf\tof\tthis?\tSince\tI\tfully\tplan\tto\teat\twhat\u2019s\tleft\tof\tyour\tchips.\u201d \u201cNah.\u201d \u201cYou\tsure?\u201d \u201cCan\u2019t\tstand\tchocolate.\u201d Olive\t stared\t at\t him,\t shaking\t her\t head\t in\t disbelief.\t \u201cYou\t would,\t wouldn\u2019t you?\tHate\teverything\tthat\tis\tdelicious\tand\tlovely\tand\tcomforting.\u201d \u201cChocolate\u2019s\tdisgusting.\u201d \u201cYou\t just\t want\t to\t live\t in\t your\t dark,\t bitter\t world\t made\t of\t black\t coffee\t and plain\tbagels\twith\tplain\tcream\tcheese.\tAnd\toccasionally\tsalt-and-vinegar\tchips.\u201d \u201cThey\tare\tclearly\tyour\tfavorite\tchips\u2014\u201d \u201cNot\tthe\tpoint.\u201d \u201c\u2014and\tI\tam\tflattered\tthat\tyou\u2019ve\tmemorized\tmy\torders.\u201d \u201cIt\tdoes\thelp\tthat\tthey\u2019re\talways\tthe\tsame.\u201d \u201cAt\tleast\tI\u2019ve\tnever\tordered\tsomething\tcalled\ta\tunicorn\tFrappuccino.\u201d \u201cThat\twas\tso\tgood.\tIt\ttasted\tlike\tthe\trainbow.\u201d \u201cLike\tsugar\tand\tfood\tcoloring?\u201d \u201cMy\ttwo\tfavorite\tthings\tin\tthe\tuniverse.\tThank\tyou\tfor\tbuying\tit\tfor\tme,\tby the\t way.\u201d\t It\t had\t made\t for\t a\t nice\t fake-dating\t Wednesday\t treat\t this\t week,\t even though\t Olive\t had\t been\t so\t busy\t with\tTom\u2019s\t report\tthat\t she\thadn\u2019t\t been\table\t to exchange\tmore\tthan\ta\tcouple\tof\twords\twith\tAdam.\tWhich,\tshe\thad\tto\tadmit,\thad been\ta\tlittle\tdisappointing. \u201cWhere\u2019s\tTom\tby\tthe\tway,\twhile\tyou\tand\tI\tslave\tour\tFriday\tnight\taway?\u201d \u201cOut.\tOn\ta\tdate,\tI\tthink.\u201d \u201cOn\ta\tdate?\tDoes\this\tgirlfriend\tlive\there?\u201d \u201cTom\thas\tlots\tof\tgirlfriends.\tIn\tlots\tof\tplaces.\u201d \u201cBut\t are\t any\t of\t them\t fake?\u201d\t She\t beamed\t at\t him,\t and\t could\t tell\t that\t he\t was tempted\tto\tsmile\tback.\t\u201cWould\tyou\tlike\thalf\ta\tdollar,\tthen?\tFor\tthe\tchips?\u201d \u201cKeep\tit.\u201d \u201cGreat.\tBecause\tit\u2019s\tabout\ta\tthird\tof\tmy\tmonthly\tsalary.\u201d She\t actually\t managed\t to\t make\t him\t laugh,\t and\u2014it\t didn\u2019t\t just\t transform\t his face,\tit\tchanged\tthe\tentire\tspace\tthey\twere\tinhabiting.\tOlive\thad\tto\tconvince\ther lungs\tnot\tto\tstop\tworking,\tto\tkeep\ttaking\tin\toxygen,\tand\ther\teyes\tnot\tto\tget\tlost in\t the\t little\t lines\t at\t the\t corners\t of\t his\t eyes,\t the\t dimples\t in\t the\t center\t of\t his","cheeks.\t\u201cGlad\tto\thear\tthat\tgrad\tstudents\u2019\tstipends\thave\tnot\tincreased\tsince\tI\twas one.\u201d \u201cDid\tyou\tuse\tto\tlive\ton\tinstant\tramen\tand\tbananas\tduring\tyour\tPh.D.,\ttoo?\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tlike\tbananas,\tbut\tI\tremember\thaving\tlots\tof\tapples.\u201d \u201cApples\t are\t expensive,\t you\t fiscally\t irresponsible\t splurger.\u201d\t She\t tilted\t her head\tand\twondered\tif\tit\twas\tokay\tto\task\tthe\tone\tthing\tshe\u2019d\tbeen\tdying\tto\tknow. She\ttold\therself\tthat\tit\twas\tprobably\tinappropriate\u2014and\tthen\twent\tfor\tit\tanyway. \u201cHow\told\tare\tyou?\u201d \u201cThirty-four.\u201d \u201cOh.\t Wow.\u201d\t She\u2019d\t thought\t younger.\t Or\t older,\t maybe.\t She\u2019d\t thought\t he existed\t in\t an\t ageless\t dimension.\t It\t was\t so\t weird\t to\t hear\t a\t number.\t To\t have\t a year\tof\tbirth,\talmost\ta\twhole\tdecade\tbefore\thers.\t\u201cI\u2019m\ttwenty-six.\u201d\tOlive\twasn\u2019t sure\twhy\tshe\toffered\tup\tthe\tinformation,\tsince\the\thadn\u2019t\tasked.\t\u201cIt\u2019s\todd\tto\tthink that\tyou\tused\tto\tbe\ta\tstudent,\ttoo.\u201d \u201cIs\tit?\u201d \u201cYep.\tWere\tyou\tlike\tthis\tas\tan\tundergrad,\ttoo?\u201d \u201cLike\tthis?\u201d \u201cYou\tknow.\u201d\tShe\tbatted\ther\teyes\tat\thim.\t\u201cAntagonistic\tand\tunapproachable.\u201d He\t glared,\t but\t she\t was\t starting\t to\t not\t take\t that\t too\t seriously.\t \u201cI\t might\t have been\tworse,\tactually.\u201d \u201cI\t bet.\u201d\t There\t was\t a\t brief,\t comfortable\t silence\t as\t she\t sat\t back\t and\t began\t to tackle\t her\t bag\t of\t chips.\t It\t was\t all\t she\u2019d\t ever\t wanted\t from\t a\t vending\t machine snack.\t\u201cSo\tdoes\tit\tget\tbetter?\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cThis.\u201d\t She\t gestured\t inchoately\t around\t herself.\t \u201cAcademia.\t Does\t it\t get better,\tafter\tgrad\tschool?\tOnce\tyou\thave\ttenure?\u201d \u201cNo.\tGod,\tno.\u201d\tHe\tlooked\tso\thorrified\tby\tthe\tassumption,\tshe\thad\tto\tlaugh. \u201cWhy\tdo\tyou\tstick\taround,\tthen?\u201d \u201cUnclear.\u201d\t There\t was\t a\t flash\t of\t something\t in\t his\t eyes\t that\t Olive\t couldn\u2019t quite\t interpret,\t but\u2014nothing\t surprising\t about\t that.\t There\t was\t a\t lot\t about\t Adam Carlsen\t she\t didn\u2019t\t know.\t He\t was\t an\t ass,\t but\t with\t unexpected\t depths.\t \u201cThere\u2019s an\t element\t of\t sunk-cost\t fallacy,\t probably\u2014hard\t to\t step\t away,\t when\t you\u2019ve invested\t so\t much\t time\t and\t energy.\t But\t the\t science\t makes\t it\t worth\t it.\t When\t it works,\tanyway.\u201d","She\t hummed,\t considering\t his\t words,\t and\t remembered\t The\t Guy\t in\t the bathroom.\t He\u2019d\t said\t that\t academia\t was\t a\t lot\t of\t bucks\t for\t little\t bang,\t and\t that one\tneeded\ta\tgood\treason\tto\tstick\taround.\tOlive\twondered\twhere\the\twas\tnow.\tIf he\u2019d\tmanaged\tto\tgraduate.\tIf\the\tknew\tthat\the\u2019d\thelped\tsomeone\tmake\tone\tof\tthe hardest\tdecisions\tof\ttheir\tlife.\tIf\the\thad\tany\tidea\tthat\tthere\twas\ta\tgirl,\tsomewhere in\t the\t world,\t who\t thought\t about\t their\t random\t encounter\t surprisingly\t often. Doubtful. \u201cI\t know\t grad\t school\t is\t supposed\t to\t be\t miserable\t for\t everyone,\t but\t it\u2019s depressing\t to\t see\t tenured\t faculty\t here\t on\t a\t Friday\t night,\t instead\t of,\t I\t don\u2019t know,\twatching\tNetflix\tin\tbed,\tor\tgetting\tdinner\twith\ttheir\tgirlfriend\u2014\u201d \u201cI\tthought\tyou\twere\tmy\tgirlfriend.\u201d Olive\t smiled\t up\t at\t him.\t \u201cNot\t quite.\u201d\t But,\t since\t we\u2019re\t on\t the\t topic:\t why exactly\t don\u2019t\t you\t have\t one?\t Because\t it\u2019s\t getting\t harder\t and\t harder\t for\t me\t to figure\tthat\tone\tout.\tExcept\tthat\tmaybe\tyou\tjust\tdon\u2019t\twant\tone.\tMaybe\tyou\tjust want\tto\tbe\ton\tyour\town,\tlike\teverything\tabout\tyour\tbehavior\tsuggests,\tand\there\tI am,\tannoying\tthe\tshit\tout\tof\tyou.\tI\tshould\tjust\tpocket\tmy\tchips\tand\tmy\tcandy\tand go\t back\t to\t my\t stupid\t protein\t samples,\t but\t for\t some\t reason\t you\t are\t so comfortable\t to\t be\t around.\t And\t I\t am\t drawn\t to\t you,\t even\t though\t I\t don\u2019t\t know why. \u201cDo\tyou\tplan\tto\tstay\tin\tacademia?\u201d\the\tasked.\t\u201cAfter\tyou\tgraduate.\u201d \u201cYes.\tMaybe.\tNo.\u201d He\tsmiled,\tand\tOlive\tlaughed. \u201cUndecided.\u201d \u201cRight.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\t just\t .\t .\t .\t there\t are\t things\t that\t I\t love\t about\t it.\t Being\t in\t the\t lab,\t doing research.\t Coming\t up\t with\t study\t ideas,\t feeling\t that\t I\u2019m\t doing\t something meaningful.\tBut\tif\tI\tgo\tthe\tacademic\troute,\tthen\tI\u2019ll\talso\tneed\tto\tdo\ta\tlot\tof\tother things\tthat\tI\tjust\t.\t.\t.\u201d\tShe\tshook\ther\thead. \u201cOther\tthings?\u201d \u201cYeah.\t The\t PR\t stuff,\t mostly.\t Write\t grants\t and\t convince\t people\t to\t fund\t my research.\tNetwork,\twhich\tis\ta\tspecial\tkind\tof\thell.\tPublic\tspeaking,\tor\teven\tone- on-one\t situations\t where\t I\t have\t to\t impress\t people.\t That\u2019s\t the\t worst,\t actually.\t I hate\tit\tso\tmuch\u2014my\thead\texplodes\tand\tI\tfreeze\tand\teveryone\tis\tlooking\tat\tme ready\t to\t judge\t me\t and\t my\t tongue\t paralyzes\t and\t I\t start\t wishing\t that\t I\t was\t dead","and\t then\t that\t the\t world\t was\t dead\t and\u2014\u201d\t She\t noticed\t his\t smile\t and\t gave\t him\t a rueful\tlook.\t\u201cYou\tget\tthe\tgist.\u201d \u201cThere\t are\t things\t you\t can\t do\t about\t that,\t if\t you\t want.\t It\t just\t takes\t practice. Making\tsure\tyour\tthoughts\tare\torganized.\tStuff\tlike\tthat.\u201d \u201cI\t know.\t And\t I\t try\t to\t do\t that\u2014I\t did\t it\t before\t my\t meeting\t with\t Tom.\t And\t I still\tstammered\tlike\tan\tidiot\twhen\the\tasked\tme\ta\tsimple\tquestion.\u201d\tAnd\tthen\tyou helped\tme,\tordered\tmy\tthoughts,\tand\tsaved\tmy\tass,\twithout\teven\tmeaning\tto.\t\u201cI don\u2019t\tknow.\tMaybe\tmy\tbrain\tis\tbroken.\u201d He\tshook\this\thead.\t\u201cYou\tdid\tgreat\tduring\tthat\tmeeting\twith\tTom,\tespecially considering\t that\t you\t were\t forced\t to\t have\t your\t fake\t boyfriend\t sit\t next\t to\t you.\u201d She\t didn\u2019t\t point\t out\t that\t his\t presence\t had\t actually\t made\t things\t better.\t \u201cTom certainly\tseemed\timpressed,\twhich\tis\tno\tsmall\tfeat.\tAnd\tif\tanyone\tscrewed\tup,\tit was\tdefinitely\thim.\tI\u2019m\tsorry\the\tdid\tthat,\tby\tthe\tway.\u201d \u201cDid\twhat?\u201d \u201cForce\tyou\tto\ttalk\tabout\tyour\tpersonal\tlife.\u201d \u201cOh.\u201d\tOlive\tlooked\taway,\ttoward\tthe\tblue\tglow\tof\tthe\tvending\tmachine.\t\u201cIt\u2019s okay.\t It\u2019s\t been\t a\t while.\u201d\t She\t was\t surprised\t to\t hear\t herself\t continue.\t To\t feel herself\twanting\tto\tcontinue.\t\u201cSince\thigh\tschool,\treally.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s\t .\t .\t .\t young.\u201d\t There\t was\t something\t about\t his\t tone,\t maybe\t the evenness,\tmaybe\tthe\tlack\tof\tovert\tsympathy,\tthat\tshe\tfound\treassuring. \u201cI\twas\tfifteen.\tOne\tday\tmy\tmom\tand\tI\twere\tthere,\tjust\t.\t.\t.\tI\tdon\u2019t\teven\tknow. Kayaking.\t Thinking\t about\t getting\t a\t cat.\t Arguing\t over\t the\t way\t I\u2019d\t pile\t stuff\t on top\tof\tthe\ttrash\tcan\twhen\tit\twas\toverflowing\tand\tI\tdidn\u2019t\twant\tto\ttake\tit\tout.\tAnd next\tthing\tI\tknew\tshe\thad\ther\tdiagnosis,\tand\tthree\tweeks\tlater\tshe\u2019d\talready\u2014\u201d She\tcouldn\u2019t\tsay\tit.\tHer\tlips,\ther\tvocal\tfolds,\ther\theart,\tthey\tjust\twouldn\u2019t\tform the\t words.\t So\t she\t swallowed\t them.\t \u201cThe\t child\t welfare\t system\t couldn\u2019t\t figure out\twhere\tto\tsend\tme\tuntil\tI\tbecame\tof\tage.\u201d \u201cYour\tdad?\u201d She\tshook\ther\thead.\t\u201cNever\tin\tthe\tpicture.\tHe\u2019s\tan\tasshole,\taccording\tto\tmy mom.\u201d\t She\t laughed\t softly.\t \u201cThe\t never-takes-out-the-trash\t gene\t clearly\t came from\t his\t side\t of\t the\t family.\t And\t my\t grandparents\t had\t died\t when\t I\t was\t a\t kid, because\t apparently\t that\u2019s\t what\t people\t around\t me\t do.\u201d\t She\t tried\t to\t say\t it jokingly,\t she\t really\t tried.\t To\t not\t sound\t bitter.\t She\t thought\t she\t even\t succeeded. \u201cI\twas\tjust\t.\t.\t.\talone.\u201d","\u201cWhat\tdid\tyou\tdo?\u201d \u201cFoster\t home\t until\t sixteen,\t then\t I\t emancipated.\u201d\t She\t shrugged,\t hoping\t to brush\t off\t the\t memory.\t \u201cIf\t only\t they\u2019d\t caught\t it\t earlier,\t even\t just\t by\t a\t few months\u2014maybe\t she\u2019d\t be\t here.\t Maybe\t surgery\t and\t chemo\t would\t have\t actually done\tsomething.\tAnd\tI\t.\t.\t.\tI\twas\talways\tgood\tat\tscience\tstuff,\tso\tI\tthought\tthat the\tleast\tI\tcould\tdo\twas\t.\t.\t.\u201d Adam\tdug\tinto\this\tpockets\tfor\ta\tfew\tmoments\tand\theld\tout\ta\tcrumpled\tpaper napkin.\t Olive\t stared\t at\t it,\t confused,\t until\t she\t realized\t that\t her\t cheeks\t had somehow\tgrown\twet. Oh. \u201cAdam,\tdid\tyou\tjust\toffer\tme\ta\tused\ttissue?\u201d \u201cI\t.\t.\t.\tmaybe.\u201d\tHe\tpressed\this\tlips\ttogether.\t\u201cI\tpanicked.\u201d She\tchuckled\twetly,\taccepting\this\tgross\ttissue\tand\tusing\tit\tto\tblow\ther\tnose. They\u2019d\t kissed\t twice,\t after\t all.\t Why\t not\t share\t a\t bit\t of\t snot?\t \u201cI\u2019m\t sorry.\t I\u2019m usually\tnot\tlike\tthis.\u201d \u201cLike\twhat?\u201d \u201cWeepy.\tI\t.\t.\t.\tI\tshouldn\u2019t\ttalk\tabout\tthis.\u201d \u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cBecause.\u201d\t It\t was\t hard\t to\t explain,\t the\t mix\t of\t pain\t and\t affection\t that\t always resurfaced\twhen\tshe\ttalked\tabout\ther\tmother.\tIt\twas\tthe\treason\tshe\talmost\tnever did\tit,\tand\tthe\treason\tshe\thated\tcancer\tso\tmuch.\tNot\tonly\thad\tit\trobbed\ther\tof\tthe person\t she\t loved\t the\t most,\t but\t it\t had\t also\t turned\t the\t happiest\t memories\t of\t her life\tinto\tsomething\tbittersweet.\t\u201cIt\tmakes\tme\tweepy.\u201d He\t smiled.\t \u201cOlive,\t you\t can\t talk\t about\t it.\t And\t you\t should\t let\t yourself\t be weepy.\u201d She\thad\ta\tsense\tthat\the\treally\tmeant\tit.\tThat\tshe\tcould\thave\ttalked\tabout\ther mom\t for\t however\t long\t she\t liked,\t and\t he\t would\t have\t listened\t intently\t to\t every second\t of\t it.\t She\t wasn\u2019t\t sure\t she\t was\t ready\t for\t it,\t though.\t So\t she\t shrugged, changing\t the\t topic.\t \u201cAnyway,\t now\t here\t I\t am.\t Loving\t lab\t work\t and\t barely dealing\t with\t the\t rest\u2014abstracts,\t conferences,\t networking.\t Teaching.\t Rejected grants.\u201d\tOlive\tgestured\tin\tAdam\u2019s\tdirection.\t\u201cFailed\tdissertation\tproposals.\u201d \u201cIs\tyour\tlab\tmate\tstill\tgiving\tyou\ta\thard\ttime?\u201d Olive\twaved\ther\thand\tdismissively.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tnot\this\tfavorite\tperson,\tbut\tit\u2019s\tfine. He\u2019ll\t get\t over\t it.\u201d\t She\t bit\t into\t her\t lip.\t \u201cI\u2019m\t sorry\t about\t the\t other\t night.\t I\t was","rude.\tYou\thave\tevery\tright\tto\tbe\tmad.\u201d Adam\t shook\t his\t head.\t \u201cIt\u2019s\t okay.\t I\t understand\t where\t you\t were\t coming from.\u201d \u201cI\tdo\tget\twhat\tyou\u2019re\tsaying.\tAbout\tnot\twanting\tto\tform\ta\tnew\tgeneration\tof crappy\tmillennial\tscientists.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tbelieve\tI\u2019ve\tever\tused\tthe\texpression\t\u2018crappy\tmillennial\tscientists.\u2019\u2009\u201d \u201cBut\t FYI,\t I\t still\t think\t that\t you\t don\u2019t\t need\t to\t be\t that\t harsh\t when\t you\t give feedback.\tWe\tget\tthe\tgist\tof\twhat\tyou\u2019re\tsaying,\teven\tif\tyou\tgive\tcriticism\tmore nicely.\u201d He\tlooked\tat\ther\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime.\tThen\the\tnodded,\tonce.\t\u201cNoted.\u201d \u201cAre\tyou\tgoing\tto\tbe\tless\tharsh,\tthen?\u201d \u201cUnlikely.\u201d She\tsighed.\t\u201cYou\tknow,\twhen\tI\thave\tno\tmore\tfriends\tand\teveryone\thates\tme because\tof\tthis\tfake-dating\tthing,\tI\u2019ll\tbe\tsuper\tlonely\tand\tyou\tare\tgoing\tto\thave to\t hang\t out\t with\t me\t every\t day.\t I\u2019ll\t annoy\t you\t all\t the\t time.\t Is\t it\t really\t worth being\tmean\tto\tevery\tgrad\tin\tthe\tprogram?\u201d \u201cAbsolutely.\u201d She\tsighed\tagain,\tthis\ttime\twith\ta\tsmile,\tand\tlet\tthe\tside\tof\ther\thead\trest\ton his\t shoulder.\t It\t might\t have\t been\t a\t bit\t forward,\t but\t it\t felt\t natural\u2014maybe because\t they\t seemed\t to\t have\t a\t knack\t for\t getting\t themselves\t in\t situations\t that required\t PDA\t of\t some\t sort,\t maybe\t because\t of\t everything\t they\u2019d\t been\t talking about,\tmaybe\tbecause\tof\tthe\thour\tof\tthe\tnight.\tAdam\t.\t.\t.\twell,\the\tdidn\u2019t\tact\tas\tif he\tminded.\tHe\twas\tjust\tthere,\tquiet,\trelaxed,\twarm\tand\tsolid\tthrough\tthe\tcotton of\this\tblack\t shirt\tunder\t her\ttemple.\t It\tfelt\tlike\t a\tlong\t time\t before\t he\tbroke\t the silence. \u201cI\u2019m\t not\t sorry\t for\t asking\t Greg\t to\t revise\t his\t proposal.\t But\t I\t am\t sorry\t that\t I created\t a\t situation\t that\t led\t him\t to\t take\t it\t out\t on\t you.\t That\t as\t long\t as\t this continues,\tit\tmight\thappen\tagain.\u201d \u201cWell,\t I\t am\t sorry\t about\t the\t texts\t I\t sent,\u201d\t she\t said\t again.\t \u201cAnd\t you\u2019re\t fine. Even\tif\tyou\u2019re\tantagonistic\tand\tunapproachable.\u201d \u201cGood\tto\thear.\u201d \u201cI\t should\t go\t back\t to\t the\t lab.\u201d\t She\t sat\t up,\t one\t hand\t coming\t to\t massage\t the base\tof\ther\tneck.\t\u201cMy\tdisastrous\tblotting\tis\tnot\tgoing\tto\tfix\titself.\u201d","Adam\t blinked,\t and\t there\t was\t a\t gleam\t in\t his\t eyes,\t as\t if\t he\t hadn\u2019t\t thought she\u2019d\tleave\tso\tsoon.\tAs\tif\the\u2019d\thave\tliked\tfor\ther\tto\tstay.\t\u201cWhy\tdisastrous?\u201d She\t groaned.\t \u201cIt\u2019s\t just\t .\t .\t .\u201d\t She\t reached\t for\t her\t phone\t and\t tapped\t on\t the home\tbutton,\tpulling\tup\ta\tpicture\tof\ther\tlast\tWestern\tblot.\t\u201cSee?\u201d\tShe\tpointed\tat the\ttarget\tprotein.\t\u201cThis\u2014it\tshouldn\u2019t\t.\t.\t.\u201d He\tnodded,\tthoughtful.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tsure\tthe\tstarting\tsample\twas\tgood?\tAnd\tthe gel?\u201d \u201cYep,\tnot\trunny,\tor\tdried\tout.\u201d \u201cIt\tlooks\tlike\tthe\tantibody\tmight\tbe\tthe\tproblem.\u201d She\tlooked\tup\tat\thim.\t\u201cYou\tthink\tso?\u201d \u201cYep.\t I\u2019d\t check\t the\t dilution\t and\t the\t buffer.\t If\t not\t that,\t it\t might\t also\t be\t a wonky\t secondary\t antibody.\t Come\t by\t my\t lab\t if\t it\t still\t doesn\u2019t\t work;\t you\t can borrow\tours.\tSame\tfor\tother\tpieces\tof\tequipment\tor\tsupplies.\tIf\tthere\u2019s\tanything you\tneed,\tjust\task\tmy\tlab\tmanager.\u201d \u201cOh,\twow.\tThank\tyou.\u201d\tShe\tsmiled.\t\u201cNow\tI\u2019m\tactually\ta\tbit\tsorry\tthat\tI\tcan\u2019t have\t you\t on\t my\t dissertation\t committee.\t Perhaps\t rumors\t of\t your\t cruelty\t have been\tgreatly\texaggerated.\u201d His\tmouth\ttwitched.\t\u201cMaybe\tyou\tjust\tpull\tout\tthe\tbest\tin\tme?\u201d She\tgrinned.\t\u201cThen\tmaybe\tI\tshould\tstick\taround.\tJust,\tyou\tknow,\tto\tsave\tthe department\tfrom\tyour\tterrible\tmoods?\u201d He\t glanced\t at\t the\t picture\t of\t the\t failed\t Western\t blot\t in\t her\t hand.\t \u201cWell,\t it doesn\u2019t\tlook\tlike\tyou\u2019re\tgoing\tto\tgraduate\tanytime\tsoon.\u201d She\thalf\tlaughed,\thalf\tgasped.\t\u201cOh\tmy\tGod.\tDid\tyou\tjust\u2014?\u201d \u201cObjectively\u2014\u201d \u201cThis\tis\tthe\trudest,\tmeanest\tthing\u2014\u201d\tShe\twas\tlaughing.\tHolding\ther\tstomach as\tshe\twaved\ther\tfinger\tat\thim. \u201c\u2014based\ton\tyour\tblotting\u2014\u201d \u201c\u2014that\tanyone\tcould\tever\tsay\tto\ta\tPh.D.\tstudent.\tEver.\u201d \u201cI\tthink\tI\tcan\tfind\tmeaner\tthings.\tIf\tI\treally\tput\tmyself\tto\tit.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re\t done.\u201d\t She\t wished\t she\t weren\u2019t\t smiling.\t Then\t maybe\t he\u2019d\t take\t her seriously\t instead\t of\t just\t looking\t at\t her\t with\t that\t patient,\t amused\t expression. \u201cSeriously.\tIt\twas\tnice\twhile\tit\tlasted.\u201d\tShe\tmade\tto\tstand\tand\tleave\tindignantly, but\the\tgrabbed\tthe\tsleeve\tof\ther\tshirt\tand\tgently\ttugged\tat\tit\tuntil\tshe\twas\tsitting","down\t again,\t next\t to\t him\t on\t the\t narrow\t couch\u2014maybe\t even\t a\t little\t closer\t than before.\tShe\tcontinued\tglaring,\tbut\the\tregarded\ther\tblandly,\tclearly\tunperturbed. \u201cThere\u2019s\t nothing\t bad\t about\t taking\t more\t than\t five\t years\t to\t graduate,\u201d\t he offered\tin\ta\tconciliatory\ttone. Olive\t huffed.\t \u201cYou\t just\t want\t me\t to\t stay\t around\t forever.\t Until\t you\t have\t the biggest,\tfattest,\tstrongest\tTitle\tIX\tcase\tto\tever\texist.\u201d \u201cThat\t was\t my\t plan\t all\t along,\t in\t fact.\t The\t one\t and\t only\t reason\t I\t kissed\t you out\tof\tthe\tblue.\u201d \u201cOh,\t shut\t up.\u201d\t She\t ducked\t her\t chin\t into\t her\t chest,\t biting\t into\t her\t lip\t and hoping\t he\t wouldn\u2019t\t notice\t her\t grinning\t like\t the\t idiot\t she\t was.\t \u201cHey,\t can\t I\t ask you\tsomething?\u201d Adam\t looked\t at\t her\t expectantly,\t like\t he\t seemed\t to\t a\t lot\t lately,\t so\t she continued,\ther\ttone\tsofter\tand\tquieter. \u201cWhy\tare\tyou\treally\tdoing\tthis?\u201d \u201cDoing\twhat?\u201d \u201cThe\t fake\t dating.\t I\t understand\t that\t you\t want\t to\t look\t like\t you\u2019re\t not\t a\t flight risk,\t but\t .\t .\t .\t Why\t aren\u2019t\t you\t really\t dating\t someone?\t I\t mean,\t you\u2019re\t not\t that bad.\u201d \u201cHigh\tpraise.\u201d \u201cNo,\tcome\ton,\twhat\tI\tmeant\twas\t.\t.\t.\tBased\ton\tyour\tfake-dating\tbehavior,\tI\u2019m sure\t that\t a\t lot\t of\t women\t .\t .\t .\t well,\t some\t women\t would\t love\t to\t real-date\t you.\u201d She\tbit\tinto\ther\tlip\tagain,\tplaying\twith\tthe\thole\tthat\twas\topening\tup\ton\tthe\tknee of\ther\tjeans.\t\u201cWe\u2019re\tfriends.\tWe\tweren\u2019t\twhen\twe\tstarted,\tbut\twe\tare\tnow.\tYou can\ttell\tme.\u201d \u201cAre\twe?\u201d She\tnodded.\tYes.\tYes,\twe\tare.\tCome\ton.\t\u201cWell,\tyou\tdid\tjust\tbreak\tone\tof\tthe sacred\t tenets\t of\t academic\t friendships\t by\t mentioning\t my\t graduation\t timeline. But\t I\u2019ll\t forgive\t you\t if\t you\t tell\t me\t if\t this\t is\t really\t better\t for\t you\t than\t .\t .\t .\t you know,\tgetting\ta\treal\tgirlfriend.\u201d \u201cIt\tis.\u201d \u201cReally?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d\tHe\tseemed\thonest.\tHe\twas\thonest.\tAdam\twas\tnot\ta\tliar;\tOlive\twould bet\ther\tlife\ton\tit.","\u201cWhy,\t though?\t Do\t you\t enjoy\t the\t sunscreen-mediated\t fondling?\t And\t the opportunity\tto\tdonate\thundreds\tof\tyour\tdollars\tto\tthe\tcampus\tStarbucks?\u201d He\t smiled\t faintly.\t And\t then\t he\t wasn\u2019t\t smiling\t anymore.\t Not\t looking\t at\t her, either,\tbut\tsomewhere\tin\tthe\tdirection\tof\tthe\tcrumpled\tplastic\twrapper\tthat\tshe\u2019d tossed\ton\tthe\ttable\ta\tfew\tminutes\tgo. He\tswallowed.\tShe\tcould\tsee\this\tjaw\twork. \u201cOlive.\u201d\tHe\ttook\ta\tdeep\tbreath.\t\u201cYou\tshould\tknow\tthat\u2014\u201d \u201cOh\tmy\tGod!\u201d They\t both\t startled,\t Olive\t considerably\t more\t so\t than\t Adam,\t and\t turned toward\t the\t entrance.\t Jeremy\t stood\t there,\t one\t hand\t dramatically\t clutching\t his sternum.\t\u201cYou\tguys\tscared\tthe\tshit\tout\tof\tme.\tWhat\tare\tyou\tdoing\tsitting\tin\tthe dark?\u201d What\t are\t you\t doing\t here?\t Olive\t thought\t ungraciously.\t \u201cJust\t chatting,\u201d\t she said.\t Though\t it\t didn\u2019t\t seem\t like\t a\t good\t descriptor\t of\t what\t was\t going\t on.\t And yet,\tshe\tcouldn\u2019t\tput\ther\tfinger\ton\twhy. \u201cYou\t scared\t me,\u201d\t Jeremy\t repeated\t once\t more.\t \u201cAre\t you\t working\t on\t your report,\tOl?\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d\t She\t stole\t a\t quick\t glance\t at\t Adam,\t who\t was\t motionless\t and expressionless\t next\t to\t her.\t \u201cJust\t taking\t a\t quick\t break.\t I\t was\t about\t to\t go\t back, actually.\u201d \u201cOh,\t cool.\t Me\t too.\u201d\t Jeremy\t smiled,\t pointing\t in\t the\t direction\t of\t his\t lab.\t \u201cI need\t to\t go\t isolate\t a\t bunch\t of\t virgin\t fruit\t flies.\t Before\t they\u2019re\t not\t virgins anymore,\t you\t know?\u201d\t He\t wiggled\t his\t eyebrows,\t and\t Olive\t had\t to\t force\t out\t a small,\t unconvincing\t laugh.\t She\t usually\t enjoyed\t his\t sense\t of\t humor.\t Usually. Now\t she\t just\t wished\t .\t .\t .\t She\t wasn\u2019t\t sure\t what\t she\t wished.\t \u201cYou\t coming\t with, Ol?\u201d No,\t I\u2019m\t fine\t right\t here,\t actually.\t \u201cSure.\u201d\t Reluctantly,\t she\t stood.\t Adam\t did the\tsame,\tgathering\ttheir\twrappers\tand\this\tempty\tbottle\tand\tsorting\tthem\tin\tthe recycling\tbins. \u201cHave\ta\tgood\tnight,\tDr.\tCarlsen,\u201d\tJeremy\tsaid\tfrom\tthe\tentrance.\tAdam\tjust nodded\t at\t him,\t a\t touch\t curtly.\t The\t set\t of\t his\t eyes\t was\t yet\t again\t impossible\t to decipher. I\t guess\t that\u2019s\t it,\t then,\t she\t thought.\t Where\t the\t weight\t in\t her\t chest\t had\t come from,\t she\t had\t no\t clue.\t She\t was\t probably\t just\t tired.\t Had\t eaten\t too\t much,\t or\t not","enough. \u201cSee\t you,\t Adam.\t Right?\u201d\t she\t murmured\t before\t he\t could\t head\t for\t the entrance\t and\t leave\t the\t room.\t Her\t voice\t was\t pitched\t low\t enough\t that\t Jeremy couldn\u2019t\t possibly\t have\t heard\t her.\t Maybe\t Adam\t hadn\u2019t,\t either.\t Except\t that\t he paused\t for\t a\t moment.\t And\t then,\t when\t he\t walked\t past\t her,\t she\t had\t the impression\tof\tknuckles\tbrushing\tagainst\tthe\tback\tof\ther\thand. \u201cGood\tnight,\tOlive.\u201d","Chapter\tNine \tHYPOTHESIS:\tThe\tmore\tI\tmention\tan\tattachment\tin\tan\temail,\tthe\tless\tlikely\tI\twill be\tto\tactually\tinclude\tsaid\tattachment. SATURDAY,\t6:34\tp.m. FROM:\[email protected] TO:\[email protected] SUBJECT:\tRe:\tReport\ton\tPancreatic\tCancer\tStudy Hi\tTom, Here\tis\tthe\treport\tyou\tasked\tfor,\twith\ta\tdetailed\tdescription\tof\twhat\tI\thave\tdone\tso\tfar,\tas well\tas\tmy\tthoughts\ton\tfuture\tdirections\tand\tthe\tresources\tI\twill\tneed\tto\texpand.\tI\u2019m excited\tto\thear\tyour\tthoughts\ton\tmy\twork! Sincerely, Olive SATURDAY,\t6:35\tp.m. FROM:\[email protected] TO:\[email protected] SUBJECT:\tRe:\tReport\ton\tPancreatic\tCancer\tStudy Hi\tTom, Oops,\tforgot\tthe\tattachment. Sincerely, Olive Today,\t3:20\tp.m. FROM:\[email protected] TO:\[email protected] SUBJECT:\tRe:\tReport\ton\tPancreatic\tCancer\tStudy","Olive, Done\treading\tthe\treport.\tDo\tyou\tthink\tyou\tcould\tcome\tover\tto\tAdam\u2019s\tto\tchat\tabout\tit? Maybe\ttomorrow\tmorning\t(Tue)\tat\tnine?\tAdam\tand\tI\twill\tbe\tleaving\tfor\tBoston\ton\tWed afternoon. TB Olive\u2019s\theart\tbeat\tfaster\u2014whether\tat\tthe\tidea\tof\tbeing\tin\tAdam\u2019s\thome\tor\tat the\t thought\t of\t getting\t her\t answer\t from\t Tom,\t she\t wasn\u2019t\t sure.\t She\t immediately texted\tAdam. Olive:\tTom\tjust\tinvited\tme\tto\tyour\tplace\tto\ttalk\tabout\tthe\treport\tI\tsent\thim.\tWould\tit\tbe okay\tif\tI\tcame\tover? Adam:\tOf\tcourse.\tWhen? Olive:\tTomorrow\tat\t9\ta.m.\tWill\tyou\tbe\thome? Adam:\tProbably.\tThere\tare\tno\tbike\tlanes\tto\tmy\thouse.\tDo\tyou\tneed\ta\tride?\tI\tcan\tpick\tyou up. She\tthought\tabout\tit\tfor\ta\tfew\tmoments\tand\tdecided\tthat\tshe\tliked\tthe\tidea\ta little\ttoo\tmuch. Olive:\tMy\troommate\tcan\tdrive\tme,\tbut\tthanks\tfor\toffering. \u2014 MALCOLM\t DROPPED\t HER\t off\t in\t front\t of\t a\t beautiful\t Spanish\t colonial\t house\t with stucco\t walls\t and\t arched\t windows\t and\t refused\t to\t back\t out\t of\t the\t driveway\t until Olive\tagreed\tto\tslide\ta\tcan\tof\tpepper\tspray\tin\ther\tbackpack.\tShe\twalked\tover\tthe brick-tile\t path\t and\t up\t to\t the\t entrance,\t marveling\t at\t the\t green\t of\t the\t yard\t and\t at the\t cozy\t atmosphere\t of\t the\t porch.\t She\t was\t about\t to\t ring\t the\t doorbell\t when\t she heard\ther\tname. Adam\t was\t behind\t her,\t bathed\t in\t sweat\t and\t clearly\t just\t back\t from\t his morning\t run.\t He\t was\t wearing\t sunglasses,\t shorts,\t and\t a\t Princeton\t Undergrad Mathletes\tT-shirt\tthat\tstuck\tto\this\tchest.\tOut\tof\tthe\tensemble,\tthe\tonly\tnonblack items\twere\tthe\tAirPods\tin\this\tears,\tpeeking\tthrough\tthe\tdamp\twaves\tof\this\thair. She\t felt\t her\t cheeks\t curve\t into\t a\t smile,\t trying\t to\t imagine\t what\t he\t was\t listening to.\t Probably\t Coil,\t or\t Kraftwerk.\t The\t Velvet\t Underground.\t A\t TED\t Talk\t on water-efficient\tlandscaping.\tWhale\tnoises. She\t would\t have\t given\t a\t huge\t chunk\t of\t her\t salary\t in\t exchange\t for\t five minutes\t alone\t with\t his\t phone,\t just\t to\t mess\t with\t his\t playlist.\t Add\t Taylor\t Swift,","Beyonc\u00e9,\t maybe\t some\t Ariana.\t Broaden\t his\t horizons.\t She\t couldn\u2019t\t see\t his\t eyes behind\tthe\tdark\tlenses,\tbut\tshe\tdidn\u2019t\tneed\tto.\tHis\tmouth\thad\tcurved\tas\tsoon\tas he\u2019d\tnoticed\ther,\this\tsmile\tslight\tbut\tdefinitely\tthere. \u201cYou\tokay?\u201d\the\tasked. Olive\trealized\tthat\tshe\u2019d\tbeen\tstaring.\t\u201cUm,\tyeah.\tSorry.\tYou?\u201d He\tnodded.\t\u201cDid\tyou\tfind\tthe\thouse\tall\tright?\u201d \u201cYes.\tI\twas\tjust\tabout\tto\tknock.\u201d \u201cNo\t need.\u201d\t He\t passed\t her\t and\t opened\t the\t door\t for\t her,\t waiting\t until\t she\u2019d stepped\tinside\tto\tclose\tit\tafter\tthem.\tShe\tcaught\ta\twhiff\tof\this\tscent\u2014sweat\tand soap\tand\tsomething\tdark\tand\tgood\u2014and\twondered\tanew\tat\thow\tfamiliar\tit\thad become\tto\ther.\t\u201cTom\u2019s\tprobably\tthis\tway.\u201d Adam\u2019s\t place\t was\t light,\t spacious,\t and\t simply\t furnished.\t \u201cNo\t taxidermied animals?\u201d\tshe\tasked\tunder\ther\tbreath. He\t was\t clearly\t about\t to\t flip\t her\t off\t when\t they\t found\t Tom\t in\t the\t kitchen, typing\ton\this\tlaptop.\tHe\tlooked\tup\tat\ther\tand\tgrinned\u2014which,\tshe\thoped,\twas\ta good\tsign. \u201cThanks\t for\t coming,\t Olive.\t I\t wasn\u2019t\t sure\t I\u2019d\t have\t time\t to\t go\t to\t campus before\tleaving.\tSit\tdown,\tplease.\u201d\tAdam\tdisappeared\tfrom\tthe\troom,\tprobably\tto go\t shower,\t and\t Olive\t felt\t her\t heart\t pick\t up.\t Tom\t had\t made\t his\t decision.\t Her destiny\twas\tgoing\tto\tbe\tdefined\tby\tthe\tnext\tfew\tminutes. \u201cCan\t you\t clarify\t a\t couple\t of\t things\t for\t me?\u201d\t he\t asked,\t turning\t his\t laptop toward\t her\t and\t pointing\t at\t one\t of\t the\t figures\t she\u2019d\t sent.\t \u201cTo\t make\t sure\t I understand\tyour\tprotocols\tcorrectly.\u201d When\tAdam\tcame\tback\ttwenty\tminutes\tlater,\thair\tdamp\tand\twearing\tone\tof his\t ten\t million\t black\t Henleys\t that\t were\t all\t a\t tiny\t bit\t different\t and\t yet\t still managed\tto\tfit\thim\tin\tthe\tmost\tirritatingly\tperfect\tway,\tshe\twas\tjust\twrapping\tup an\texplanation\tof\ther\tRNA\tanalyses.\tTom\twas\ttaking\tnotes\ton\this\tlaptop. \u201cWhenever\tyou\tguys\tare\tdone,\tI\tcan\tgive\tyou\ta\tride\tback\tto\tcampus,\tOlive,\u201d Adam\toffered.\t\u201cI\tneed\tto\tdrive\tin,\tanyway.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re\tdone,\u201d\tTom\tsaid,\tstill\ttyping.\t\u201cShe\u2019s\tall\tyours.\u201d Oh.\t Olive\t nodded\t and\t gingerly\t stood\t up.\t Tom\t hadn\u2019t\t given\t her\t an\t answer yet.\t He\u2019d\t asked\t lots\t of\t interesting,\t smart\t questions\t about\t her\t project,\t but\t he hadn\u2019t\ttold\ther\twhether\the\twanted\tto\twork\twith\ther\tnext\tyear.\tDid\tit\tmean\tthat the\t answer\t was\t a\t no,\t but\t he\u2019d\t rather\t not\t communicate\t it\t to\t Olive\t in\t her","\u201cboyfriend\u2019s\u201d\thome?\tWhat\tif\the\u2019d\tnever\treally\tthought\tthat\ther\twork\twas\tworth funding?\t What\t if\t he\u2019d\t just\t been\t faking\t it\t because\t Adam\t was\t his\t friend?\t Adam had\tsaid\tthat\tTom\twasn\u2019t\tlike\tthat,\tbut\twhat\tif\the\u2019d\tbeen\twrong\tand\tnow\u2014 \u201cYou\tready\tto\tgo?\u201d\tAdam\tasked.\tShe\tgrabbed\ther\tbackpack,\ttrying\tto\tcollect herself.\tShe\twas\tfine.\tThis\twas\tfine.\tShe\tcould\tcry\tabout\tthis\tlater. \u201cSure.\u201d\t She\t rocked\t once\t on\t her\t heels,\t giving\t Tom\t one\t last\t look.\t Sadly,\t he seemed\ttaken\twith\this\tlaptop.\t\u201cBye,\tTom.\tIt\twas\tnice\tto\tmeet\tyou.\tHave\ta\tsafe trip\thome.\u201d \u201cLikewise,\u201d\t he\t said,\t not\t even\t glancing\t at\t her.\t \u201cI\t had\t lots\t of\t interesting conversations.\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d\t It\t must\t have\t been\t the\t section\t on\t genome-based\t prognostics,\t she thought,\tfollowing\tAdam\tout\tof\tthe\troom.\tShe\u2019d\tsuspected\tit\twas\ttoo\tweak,\tbut she\u2019d\t been\t stupid\t and\t she\u2019d\t sent\t the\t report\t anyway.\t Stupid,\t stupid,\t stupid.\t She should\t have\t beefed\t it\t up.\t The\t most\t important\t thing\t now\t was\t to\t avoid\t crying until\tshe\twas\u2014 \u201cAnd,\tOlive,\u201d\tTom\tadded. She\tpaused\tunder\tthe\tdoorframe\tand\tlooked\tback\tat\thim.\t\u201cYes?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll\t see\t you\t next\t year\t at\t Harvard,\t right?\u201d\t His\t gaze\t finally\t slid\t up\t to\t meet hers.\t\u201cI\thave\tthe\tperfect\tbench\tset\taside\tfor\tyou.\u201d Her\t heart\t detonated.\t It\t absolutely\t exploded\t with\t joy\t in\t her\t chest,\t and\t Olive felt\ta\tviolent\twave\tof\thappiness,\tpride,\tand\trelief\tall\twash\tover\ther.\tIt\tcould\thave easily\tknocked\ther\tto\tthe\tfloor,\tbut\tby\tsome\tmiracle\tof\tbiology\tshe\tmanaged\tto stay\tupright\tand\tsmile\tat\tTom. \u201cI\tcan\u2019t\twait,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\tvoice\tthick\twith\thappy\ttears.\t\u201cThank\tyou\tso\tmuch.\u201d He\t gave\t her\t a\t wink\t and\t one\t last\t smile,\t kind\t and\t encouraging.\t Olive\t barely managed\t to\t wait\t until\t she\t was\t outside\t to\t fist-pump,\t then\t jump\t around\t a\t few times,\tthen\tfist-pump\tagain. \u201cYou\tall\tdone?\u201d\tAdam\tasked. She\tturned\taround,\tremembering\tthat\tshe\twasn\u2019t\talone.\tHis\tarms\twere\tfolded on\t his\t chest,\t fingers\t drumming\t against\t his\t biceps.\t There\t was\t an\t indulgent expression\t in\t his\t eyes,\t and\u2014she\t should\t have\t been\t embarrassed,\t but\t she\t just couldn\u2019t\thelp\tit.\tOlive\tthrew\therself\tat\thim\tand\thugged\this\ttorso\tas\ttight\tas\tshe could.\t She\t closed\t her\t eyes\t when,\t after\t a\t few\t seconds\t of\t hesitation,\t he\t wrapped his\tarms\taround\ther.","\u201cCongratulations,\u201d\t he\t whispered\t softly\t against\t her\t hair.\t Just\t like\t that\t Olive was\ton\tthe\tverge\tof\ttears\tall\tover\tagain. Once\t they\t were\t in\t Adam\u2019s\t car\u2014a\t Prius,\t to\t exactly\t no\t one\u2019s\t surprise\u2014and driving\tto\tcampus,\tshe\tfelt\tso\thappy\tshe\tcouldn\u2019t\tpossibly\tbe\tquiet. \u201cHe\u2019ll\ttake\tme.\tHe\tsaid\the\u2019ll\ttake\tme.\u201d \u201cHe\u2019d\tbe\tan\tidiot\tnot\tto.\u201d\tAdam\twas\tsmiling\tsoftly.\t\u201cI\tknew\the\twould.\u201d \u201cHad\t he\t told\t you?\u201d\t Her\t eyes\t widened.\t \u201cYou\t knew,\t and\t you\t didn\u2019t\t even\t tell me\u2014\u201d \u201cHe\thadn\u2019t.\tWe\thaven\u2019t\tdiscussed\tyou.\u201d \u201cOh?\u201d\tShe\ttilted\ther\thead,\tturning\taround\tin\tthe\tcar\tseat\tto\tbetter\tlook\tat\thim. \u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cUnspoken\tagreement.\tIt\tmight\tbe\ta\tconflict\tof\tinterest.\u201d \u201cRight.\u201d\t Sure.\t It\t made\t sense.\t Close\t friend\t and\t girlfriend.\t Fake\t girlfriend, actually. \u201cCan\tI\task\tyou\tsomething?\u201d She\tnodded. \u201cThere\tare\tlots\tof\tcancer\tlabs\tin\tthe\tUS.\tWhy\tdid\tyou\tchoose\tTom\u2019s?\u201d \u201cWell,\tI\tsort\tof\tdidn\u2019t.\tI\temailed\tseveral\tpeople\u2014two\tof\twhom\tare\tat\tUCSF, which\t is\t much\t closer\t than\t Boston.\t But\t Tom\t was\t the\t only\t one\t who\t answered.\u201d She\tleaned\ther\thead\tagainst\tthe\tseat.\tIt\toccurred\tto\ther\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime\tthat\tshe was\t going\t to\t have\t to\t leave\t her\t life\t for\t an\t entire\t year.\t Her\t apartment\t with Malcolm,\t her\t nights\t spent\t with\t Anh.\t Adam,\t even.\t She\t immediately\t pushed\t the thought\t away,\t not\t ready\t to\t entertain\t it.\t \u201cWhy\t do\t professors\t never\t answer students\u2019\temails,\tby\tthe\tway?\u201d \u201cBecause\t we\t get\t approximately\t two\t hundred\t a\t day,\t and\t most\t of\t them\t are iterations\t of\t \u2018why\t do\t I\t have\t a\t C\t minus?\u2019\u2009\u201d\t He\t was\t quiet\t for\t a\t moment.\t \u201cMy advice\t for\t the\t future\t is\t to\t have\t your\t adviser\t reach\t out,\t instead\t of\t doing\t it yourself.\u201d She\tnodded\tand\tstored\taway\tthe\tinformation.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tglad\tHarvard\tworked\tout, though.\t It\u2019s\t going\t to\t be\t amazing.\t Tom\t is\t such\t a\t big\t name,\t and\t the\t amount\t of work\t I\t can\t do\t in\t his\t lab\t is\t limitless.\t I\u2019ll\t be\t running\t studies\t twenty-four\t seven, and\tif\tthe\tresults\tare\twhat\tI\tthink\tthey\u2019ll\tbe,\tI\u2019ll\tbe\table\tto\tpublish\tin\thigh-impact journals\tand\tprobably\tget\ta\tclinical\ttrial\tstarted\tin\tjust\ta\tfew\tyears.\u201d\tShe\tfelt\thigh on\tthe\tprospect.\t\u201cHey,\tyou\tand\tI\tnow\thave\ta\tcollaborator\tin\tcommon,\ton\ttop\tof","being\texcellent\tfake-dating\tpartners!\u201d\tA\tthought\toccurred\tto\ther.\t\u201cWhat\tis\tyour and\tTom\u2019s\tbig\tgrant\tabout,\tanyway?\u201d \u201cCell-based\tmodels.\u201d \u201cOff-lattice?\u201d He\tnodded. \u201cWow.\tThat\u2019s\tcool\tstuff.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\t the\t most\t interesting\t project\t I\u2019m\t working\t on,\t for\t sure.\t Got\t the\t grant\t at the\tright\tmoment,\ttoo.\u201d \u201cWhat\tdo\tyou\tmean?\u201d He\t was\t silent\t for\t a\t beat\t while\t he\t switched\t lanes.\t \u201cIt\u2019s\t different\t from\t my other\tgrants\u2014mostly\tgenetic\tstuff.\tWhich\tis\tinteresting,\tdon\u2019t\tget\tme\twrong,\tbut after\tten\tyears\tresearching\tthe\tsame\texact\tthing,\tI\twas\tin\ta\trut.\u201d \u201cYou\tmean\t.\t.\t.\tbored?\u201d \u201cTo\tdeath.\tI\tbriefly\tconsidered\tgoing\tinto\tindustry.\u201d Olive\t gasped.\t Switching\t from\t academia\t to\t industry\t was\t considered\t the ultimate\tbetrayal. \u201cDon\u2019t\tworry.\u201d\tAdam\tsmiled.\t\u201cTom\tsaved\tthe\tday.\tWhen\tI\ttold\thim\tI\twasn\u2019t enjoying\t research\t anymore,\t we\t brainstormed\t some\t new\t directions,\t found something\twe\twere\tboth\tenthusiastic\tabout,\tand\twrote\tthe\tgrant.\u201d Olive\tfelt\ta\tsudden\tsurge\tof\tgratitude\ttoward\tTom.\tNot\tonly\twas\the\tgoing\tto rescue\t her\t project,\t but\t he\t was\t the\t reason\t Adam\t was\t still\t around.\t The\t reason she\u2019d\t gotten\t the\t opportunity\t to\t know\t him.\t \u201cIt\t must\t be\t nice\t to\t be\t excited\t about work\tagain.\u201d \u201cIt\t is.\t Academia\t takes\t a\t lot\t from\t you\t and\t gives\t back\t very\t little.\t It\u2019s\t hard\t to stick\taround\twithout\ta\tgood\treason\tto\tdo\tso.\u201d She\t nodded\t absentmindedly,\t thinking\t that\t the\t words\t sounded\t familiar.\t Not just\tthe\tcontent,\tbut\tthe\tdelivery,\ttoo.\tNot\tsurprising,\tthough:\tit\twas\texactly\twhat The\t Guy\t in\t the\t bathroom\t had\t told\t her\t all\t those\t years\t ago.\t Academia\u2019s\t a\t lot\t of bucks\t for\t very\t little\t bang.\t What\t matters\t is\t whether\t your\t reason\t to\t be\t in academia\tis\tgood\tenough. Suddenly,\tsomething\tclicked\tin\ther\tbrain. The\t deep\t voice.\t The\t blurry\t dark\t hair.\t The\t crisp,\t precise\t way\t of\t talking. Could\tThe\tGuy\tin\tthe\tbathroom\tand\tAdam\tbe\t.\t.\t.","No.\t Impossible.\t The\t Guy\t was\t a\t student\u2014though,\t had\t he\t explicitly\t said\t so? No.\tNo,\twhat\the\u2019d\tsaid\twas\tThis\tis\tmy\tlab\u2019s\tbathroom\tand\tthat\the\u2019d\tbeen\tthere for\t six\t years,\t and\t he\t hadn\u2019t\t answered\t when\t she\u2019d\t asked\t about\t his\t dissertation timeline,\tand\u2014 Impossible.\tImprobable.\tInconceivable. Just\tlike\teverything\telse\tabout\tAdam\tand\tOlive. Oh\tGod.\tWhat\tif\tthey\u2019d\treally\tmet\tyears\tago?\tHe\tprobably\tdidn\u2019t\tremember, anyway.\t Surely.\t Olive\t had\t been\t no\t one.\t Still\t was\t no\t one.\t She\t thought\t about asking\t him,\t but\t why?\t He\t had\t no\t idea\t that\t a\t five-minute\t conversation\t with\t him had\tbeen\tthe\texact\tpush\tOlive\tneeded.\tThat\tshe\u2019d\tthought\tabout\thim\tfor\tyears. Olive\tremembered\ther\tlast\twords\tto\thim\u2014Maybe\tI\u2019ll\tsee\tyou\tnext\tyear\u2014and oh,\t if\t only\t she\u2019d\t known.\t She\t felt\t a\t surge\t of\t something\t warm\t and\t soft\t in\t the squishy\tpart\tof\therself\tthat\tshe\tguarded\tmost\tcarefully.\tShe\tlooked\tat\tAdam,\tand it\tswelled\teven\tlarger,\teven\tstronger,\teven\thotter. You,\tshe\tthought.\tYou.\tYou\tare\tjust\tthe\tmost\u2014 The\tworst\u2014 The\tbest\u2014 Olive\tlaughed,\tshaking\ther\thead. \u201cWhat?\u201d\the\tasked,\tpuzzled. \u201cNothing.\u201d\t She\t grinned\t at\t him.\t \u201cNothing.\t Hey,\t you\t know\t what?\t You\t and\t I should\tgo\tget\tcoffee.\tTo\tcelebrate.\u201d \u201cCelebrate\twhat?\u201d \u201cEverything!\t Your\t grant.\t My\t year\t at\t Harvard.\t How\t great\t our\t fake\t dating\t is going.\u201d It\twas\tprobably\tunfair\tof\ther\tto\task,\tsince\tthey\twere\tnot\tdue\tfor\tfake-dating coffee\t until\t tomorrow.\t But\t the\t previous\t Wednesday\t had\t lasted\t just\t a\t few\t short minutes,\t and\t since\t Friday\t night,\t there\t had\t been\t about\t thirty\t times\t when\t Olive had\tto\tforcibly\tremove\ther\tphone\tfrom\ther\thands\tto\tavoid\ttexting\thim\tthings\the couldn\u2019t\t possibly\t care\t about.\t He\t didn\u2019t\t need\t to\t know\t that\t he\t was\t right\t and\t the problem\t with\t her\t Western\t blot\t had\t been\t the\t antibody.\t There\t was\t no\t way\t he\u2019d have\tanswered\ther\tif\ton\tSaturday\tat\t10:00\tp.m.,\twhen\tshe\u2019d\tbeen\tdying\tto\tknow if\the\twas\tin\this\toffice,\tshe\thad\tsent\tthat\tHey,\twhat\tare\tyou\tup\tto?\tmessage\tthat she\u2019d\t written\t and\t deleted\t twice.\t And\t she\t was\t glad\t she\u2019d\t ended\t up\t chickening out\tof\tforwarding\thim\tthat\tOnion\tarticle\ton\tsun-safety\ttips.","It\twas\tprobably\tunfair\tof\ther\tto\task,\tand\tyet\ttoday\twas\ta\tmomentous\tday,\tand she\tfound\therself\twanting\tto\tcelebrate.\tWith\thim. He\tbit\tthe\tinside\tof\this\tcheek,\tlooking\tpensive.\t\u201cWould\tit\tbe\tactual\tcoffee,\tor chamomile\ttea?\u201d \u201cDepends.\tWill\tyou\tgo\tall\tmoody\ton\tme?\u201d \u201cI\twill\tif\tyou\tget\tpumpkin\tstuff.\u201d She\trolled\ther\teyes.\t\u201cYou\thave\tno\ttaste.\u201d\tHer\tphone\tpinged\twith\ta\treminder. \u201cOh,\twe\tshould\tgo\tto\tFluchella,\ttoo.\tBefore\tcoffee.\u201d A\tvertical\tline\tappeared\tbetween\this\tbrows.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tafraid\tto\task\twhat\tthat\tis.\u201d \u201cFluchella,\u201d\t Olive\t repeated,\t though\t it\t was\t clearly\t not\t helpful,\t judging\t from how\tthe\tline\tbisecting\this\tforehead\tdeepened.\t\u201cMass\tflu\tvaccination\tfor\tfaculty, staff,\tand\tstudents.\tAt\tno\tcharge.\u201d Adam\tmade\ta\tface.\t\u201cIt\u2019s\tcalled\tFluchella?\u201d \u201cYep,\tlike\tthe\tfestival.\tCoachella?\u201d Adam\twas\tclearly\tnot\tfamiliar. \u201cDon\u2019t\t you\t get\t university\t emails\t about\t this\t stuff?\t There\u2019ve\t been\t at\t least five.\u201d \u201cI\thave\ta\tgreat\tspam\tfilter.\u201d Olive\t frowned.\t \u201cDoes\t it\t block\t Stanford\t emails,\t too?\t Because\t it\t shouldn\u2019t.\t It might\tend\tup\tfiltering\tout\timportant\tmessages\tfrom\tadmin\tand\tstudents\tand\u2014\u201d Adam\tarched\tone\teyebrow. \u201cOh.\tRight.\u201d Don\u2019t\tlaugh.\tDon\u2019t\tlaugh.\tHe\tdoesn\u2019t\tneed\tto\tknow\thow\tmuch\the\tmakes\tyou laugh. \u201cWell,\twe\tshould\tgo\tget\tour\tflu\tshots.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tgood.\u201d \u201cYou\tgot\tone\talready?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\tpretty\tsure\tit\u2019s\tmandatory\tfor\teveryone.\u201d The\t set\t of\t Adam\u2019s\t shoulders\t clearly\t broadcasted\t that\t he\t was,\t in\t fact,\t not everyone.\t\u201cI\tnever\tget\tsick.\u201d \u201cI\tdoubt\tit.\u201d \u201cYou\tshouldn\u2019t.\u201d \u201cHey,\tthe\tflu\tis\tmore\tserious\tthan\tyou\tmight\tthink.\u201d","\u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\tthat\tbad.\u201d \u201cIt\tis,\tespecially\tfor\tpeople\tlike\tyou.\u201d \u201cLike\tme?\u201d \u201cYou\tknow\t.\t.\t.\tpeople\tof\ta\tcertain\tage.\u201d His\t mouth\t twitched\t as\t he\t turned\t into\t the\t campus\t parking\t lot.\t \u201cYou\t smart- ass.\u201d \u201cCome\t on.\u201d\t She\t leaned\t forward,\t poking\t his\t biceps\t with\t her\t index\t finger. They\t had\t touched\t so\t much\t at\t this\t point.\t In\t public,\t and\t alone,\t and\t a\t mixture\t of the\t two.\t It\t didn\u2019t\t feel\t weird.\t It\t felt\t good\t and\t natural,\t like\t when\t Olive\t was\t with Anh,\tor\tMalcolm.\t\u201cLet\u2019s\tgo\ttogether.\u201d He\tdidn\u2019t\tbudge,\tparallel\tparking\tin\ta\tspot\tthat\twould\thave\ttaken\tOlive\tabout two\thours\tof\tmaneuvering\tto\tfit\tinto.\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\thave\ttime.\u201d \u201cYou\tjust\tagreed\tto\tgo\tget\tcoffee.\tYou\tmust\thave\tsome\ttime.\u201d He\t finished\t parking\t in\t less\t than\t a\t minute\t and\t pressed\t his\t lips\t together.\t Not answering\ther. \u201cWhy\t don\u2019t\t you\t want\t to\t get\t the\t shot?\u201d\t She\t studied\t him\t suspiciously.\t \u201cAre you\tsome\tkind\tof\tanti-vaxxer?\u201d Oh,\tif\tlooks\tcould\tkill. \u201cOkay.\u201d\tShe\tfurrowed\ther\tbrow.\t\u201cThen\twhy?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\tworth\tthe\thassle.\u201d\tWas\the\tfidgeting\ta\tlittle?\tWas\the\tbiting\tthe\tinside of\this\tlip? \u201cIt\tliterally\ttakes\tten\tminutes.\u201d\tShe\treached\tfor\thim,\ttugging\tat\tthe\tsleeve\tof his\t shirt.\t \u201cYou\t get\t there,\t they\t scan\t your\t university\t badge.\t They\t give\t you\t the shot.\u201d\t She\t felt\t his\t muscles\t tense\t under\t her\t fingertips\t as\t she\t said\t the\t last\t word. \u201cEasy\tpeasy,\tand\tthe\tbest\tpart\tis,\tyou\tdon\u2019t\tget\tthe\tflu\tfor\ta\twhole\tyear.\tTotally \u2014\tOh.\u201d\tOlive\tcovered\ther\tmouth\twith\ther\thand. \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cOh\tmy\tGod.\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cAre\tyou\u2014\tOh,\tAdam.\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cAre\tyou\tafraid\tof\tneedles?\u201d He\twent\tstill.\tCompletely\timmobile.\tHe\twasn\u2019t\tbreathing\tanymore.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tnot afraid\tof\tneedles.\u201d","\u201cIt\u2019s\tokay,\u201d\tshe\tsaid,\tmaking\ther\ttone\tas\treassuring\tas\tpossible. \u201cI\tknow,\tsince\tI\u2019m\tnot\u2014\u201d \u201cThis\tis\ta\tsafe\tspace\tfor\tyou\tand\tyour\tfear\tof\tneedles.\u201d \u201cThere\tis\tno\tfear\tof\u2014\u201d \u201cI\tget\tit,\tneedles\tare\tscary.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s\tnot\u2014\u201d \u201cYou\tare\tallowed\tto\tbe\tscared.\u201d \u201cI\tam\tnot,\u201d\the\ttold\ther,\ta\tlittle\ttoo\tforcefully,\tand\tthen\tturned\taway,\tclearing his\tthroat\tand\tscratching\tthe\tside\tof\this\tneck. Olive\tpressed\ther\tlips\ttogether,\tand\tthen\tsaid,\t\u201cWell,\tI\tused\tto\tbe\tscared.\u201d He\tlooked\tat\ther,\tcurious,\tso\tshe\tcontinued. \u201cAs\ta\tchild.\tMy\t.\t.\t.\u201d\tShe\thad\tto\tclear\ther\tthroat.\t\u201cMy\tmother\twould\thave\tto hold\tme\tin\ta\tbear\thug\tevery\ttime\tI\tneeded\ta\tshot,\tor\tI\u2019d\tthrash\taround\ttoo\tmuch. And\t she\t had\t to\t bribe\t me\t with\t ice\t cream,\t but\t the\t problem\t was\t that\t I\t wanted\t it immediately\tafter\tmy\tshot.\u201d\tShe\tlaughed.\t\u201cSo\tshe\u2019d\tbuy\tan\tice\tcream\tsandwich before\t the\t doctor\u2019s\t appointment,\t and\t by\t the\t time\t I\t was\t ready\t to\t eat,\t it\u2019d\t be\t all melted\tin\ther\tpurse\tand\tmake\ta\thuge\tmess\tand\t.\t.\t.\u201d Dammit.\tShe\twas\tweepy,\tagain.\tIn\tfront\tof\tAdam,\tagain. \u201cShe\tsounds\tlovely,\u201d\tAdam\tsaid. \u201cShe\twas.\u201d \u201cAnd\tto\tbe\tclear,\tI\u2019m\tnot\tafraid\tof\tneedles,\u201d\the\trepeated.\tThis\ttime,\this\ttone was\twarm\tand\tkind.\t\u201cThey\tjust\tfeel\t.\t.\t.\tdisgusting.\u201d She\t sniffled\t and\t looked\t up\t at\t him.\t The\t temptation\t to\t hug\t him\t was\t almost irresistible.\tBut\tshe\u2019d\talready\tdone\tthat\ttoday,\tso\tshe\tmade\tdo\twith\tpatting\thim on\tthe\tarm.\t\u201cAww.\u201d He\tpinned\ther\twith\ta\twithering\tlook.\t\u201cDon\u2019t\taww\tme.\u201d Adorable.\t He\t was\t adorable.\t \u201cNo,\t really,\t they\t are\t gross.\t Stuff\t pokes\t at\t you, and\tthen\tyou\tbleed.\tThe\tfeeling\tof\tit\u2014yikes.\u201d She\tgot\tout\tof\tthe\tcar\tand\twaited\tfor\thim\tto\tdo\tthe\tsame.\tWhen\the\tjoined\ther, she\tsmiled\tat\thim\treassuringly. \u201cI\tget\tit.\u201d \u201cYou\tdo?\u201d\tHe\tdidn\u2019t\tseem\tconvinced. \u201cYep.\tThey\u2019re\thorrible.\u201d He\twas\tstill\ta\tlittle\tdistrustful.\t\u201cThey\tare.\u201d","\u201cAnd\tscary.\u201d\tShe\twrapped\ther\thand\taround\this\telbow\tand\tbegan\tto\tpull\thim in\tthe\tdirection\tof\tthe\tFluchella\ttent.\t\u201cStill,\tyou\tneed\tto\tget\tover\tit.\tFor\tscience. I\u2019m\ttaking\tyou\tto\tget\ta\tflu\tshot.\u201d \u201cI\u2014\u201d \u201cThis\tis\tnonnegotiable.\tI\u2019ll\thold\tyour\thand,\tduring.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tneed\tyou\tto\thold\tmy\thand.\tSince\tI\u2019m\tnot\tgoing.\u201d\tExcept\tthat\the\twas going.\tHe\tcould\thave\tplanted\this\tfeet\tand\tstood\this\tground,\tand\the\twould\thave turned\tinto\tan\timmovable\tobject;\tOlive\twould\thave\thad\tno\tway\tof\tdragging\thim anywhere.\tAnd\tyet. She\tlet\ther\thand\tslide\tdown\tto\this\twrist\tand\tlooked\tup\tat\thim.\t\u201cYou\tso\tare.\u201d \u201cPlease.\u201d\tHe\tlooked\tpained.\t\u201cDon\u2019t\tmake\tme.\u201d He\twas\tso\tadorable.\t\u201cIt\u2019s\tfor\tyour\town\tgood.\tAnd\tfor\tthe\tgood\tof\tthe\telderly people\t who\t might\t come\t in\t any\t proximity\t to\t you.\t Even\t more\t elderly\t than\t you, that\tis.\u201d He\tsighed,\tdefeated.\t\u201cOlive.\u201d \u201cCome\ton.\tMaybe\twe\u2019re\tlucky\tand\tthe\tchair\twill\tspot\tus.\tAnd\tI\u2019ll\tbuy\tyou\tan ice\tcream\tsandwich\tafterward.\u201d \u201cWill\tI\tbe\tpaying\tfor\tthis\tice\tcream\tsandwich?\u201d\tHe\tsounded\tresigned\tnow. \u201cLikely.\t Actually,\t scratch\t that,\t you\t probably\t don\u2019t\t like\t ice\t cream\t anyway, because\t you\t don\u2019t\t enjoy\t anything\t that\u2019s\t good\t in\t life.\u201d\t She\t kept\t on\t walking, pensively\t chewing\t on\t her\t lower\t lip.\t \u201cMaybe\t the\t cafeteria\t has\t some\t raw broccoli?\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tdeserve\tthis\tverbal\tabuse\ton\ttop\tof\tthe\tflu\tshot.\u201d She\tbeamed.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tsuch\ta\ttrooper.\tEven\tthough\tthe\tbig\tbad\tneedle\tis\tout\tto get\tyou.\u201d \u201cYou\t are\t a\t smart-ass.\u201d\t And\t yet,\t he\t didn\u2019t\t resist\t when\t she\t continued\t to\t pull him\tbehind\ther. It\twas\tten\ton\tan\tearly-September\tmorning,\tthe\tsun\talready\tshining\ttoo\tbright and\ttoo\thot\tthrough\tthe\tcotton\tof\tOlive\u2019s\tshirt,\tthe\tsweetgum\tleaves\tstill\ta\tdeep green\t and\t showing\t no\t sign\t of\t turning.\t It\t felt\t different\t from\t the\t past\t few\t years, this\tsummer\tthat\tdidn\u2019t\tseem\tto\twant\tto\tend,\tthat\twas\tstretched\tfull\tand\tripe\tpast the\t beginning\t of\t the\t semester.\t Undergrads\t must\t have\t been\t either\t dozing\t off\t in their\tmidmorning\tclasses\tor\tstill\tasleep\tin\tbed,\tbecause\tfor\tonce\tthat\tharried\tair of\t chaos\t that\t always\t coated\t the\t Stanford\t campus\t was\t missing.\t And\t Olive\u2014","Olive\t had\t a\t lab\t for\t next\t year.\t Everything\t she\u2019d\t worked\t toward\t since\t fifteen,\t it was\tfinally\tgoing\tto\thappen. Life\tdidn\u2019t\tget\tmuch\tbetter\tthan\tthis. She\tsmiled,\tsmelling\tthe\tflower\tbeds\tand\thumming\ta\ttune\tunder\ther\tbreath\tas she\t and\t Adam\t walked\t quietly,\t side\t by\t side.\t As\t they\t made\t their\t way\t across\t the quad,\ther\tfingers\tslid\tdown\tfrom\this\twrist\tand\tclosed\taround\this\tpalm.","Chapter\tTen \tHYPOTHESIS:\tIf\tI\tfall\tin\tlove,\tthings\twill\tinvariably\tend\tpoorly. The\t knockout\t mouse\t had\t been\t hanging\t from\t a\t wire\t for\t a\t length\t of\t time\t that should\thave\tbeen\timpossible,\tconsidering\thow\tit\thad\tbeen\tgenetically\tmodified. Olive\t frowned\t at\t it\t and\t pressed\t her\t lips\t together.\t It\t was\t missing\t crucial\t DNA. All\t the\t hanging-from-a-wire\t proteins\t had\t been\t erased.\t There\t was\t no\t way\t it could\t hold\t on\t for\t this\t long.\t It\t was\t the\t whole\t point\t of\t knocking\t out\t its\t stupid genes\u2014 Her\tphone\tlit\tup,\tand\tthe\tcorner\tof\ther\teye\tdarted\tto\tits\tscreen.\tShe\twas\table to\tread\tthe\tname\tof\tthe\tsender\t(Adam)\tbut\tnot\tthe\tcontent\tof\tthe\tmessage.\tIt\twas 8:42\t on\t Wednesday,\t which\t immediately\t had\t her\t worried\t that\t he\t might\t want\t to cancel\ttheir\tfake\tdate.\tMaybe\the\tthought\tthat\tbecause\the\u2019d\tlet\tOlive\tpick\tout\tan ice\tcream\tsandwich\tfor\thim\tyesterday\tafter\tFluchella\t(which\tshe\tmay\tor\tmay\tnot have\t ended\t up\t eating\t herself)\t they\t didn\u2019t\t need\t to\t meet\t today.\t Maybe\t she shouldn\u2019t\thave\tforced\thim\tto\tsit\ton\ta\tbench\twith\ther\tand\trecount\tthe\tmarathons they\thad\trun,\tand\tpossibly\tshe\thad\tcome\toff\tas\tannoying\twhen\tshe\u2019d\tstolen\this phone,\tdownloaded\ther\tfavorite\trunning\tapp,\tand\tthen\tfriended\therself\ton\tit.\tHe had\tseemed\tto\tbe\tenjoying\thimself,\tbut\tmaybe\the\thadn\u2019t\tbeen. Olive\tglanced\tat\ther\tgloved\thands,\tand\tthen\tback\tat\ther\tmouse,\twho\twas\tstill holding\ton\tto\tthe\twire. \u201cDude,\t stop\t trying\t so\t hard.\u201d\t She\t kneeled\t until\t she\t was\t at\t eye\t level\t with\t the cage.\t The\t mouse\t kicked\t around\t with\t its\t little\t legs,\t its\t tail\t flopping\t back\t and forth.\t \u201cYou\u2019re\t supposed\t to\t be\t bad\t at\t this.\t And\t I\u2019m\t supposed\t to\t write\t a dissertation\t about\t how\t bad\t you\t are.\t And\t then\t you\t get\t a\t chunk\t of\t cheese,\t and\t I","get\t a\t real\t job\t that\t pays\t real\t money\t and\t the\t joy\t of\t saying\t \u2018I\u2019m\t not\t that\t kind\t of doctor\u2019\twhen\tsomeone\tis\thaving\ta\tstroke\ton\tmy\tairplane.\u201d The\t mouse\t squeaked\t and\t let\t go\t of\t the\t wire,\t flopping\t on\t the\t floor\t of\t the testing\tcage\twith\ta\tthud. \u201cThat\u2019ll\tdo\tit.\u201d\tShe\tquickly\tgot\trid\tof\ther\tgloves\tand\tunlocked\ther\tphone\twith her\tthumb. Adam:\tMy\tarm\thurts. She\tinitially\tthought\tthat\the\twas\tgiving\ther\ta\treason\twhy\tthey\tcouldn\u2019t\tmeet up.\tThen\tshe\tremembered\twaking\tup\tand\trubbing\ther\town\tachy\tarm. Olive:\tFrom\tthe\tflu\tshot? Adam:\tIt\u2019s\treally\tpainful. She\tgiggled.\tShe\ttruly\thad\tnot\tthought\tshe\twas\tthe\ttype\tto,\tbut\there\tshe\twas, covering\ther\tmouth\twith\ther\thand\tand\t.\t.\t.\tyes,\tgiggling\tlike\ta\tfool\tin\tthe\tmiddle of\tthe\tlab.\tHer\tmouse\twas\tstaring\tup\tat\ther,\tits\ttiny\tred\teyes\ta\tmix\tof\tjudgment and\tsurprise.\tOlive\thastily\tturned\taway\tand\tlooked\tback\tat\ther\tphone. Olive:\tOh,\tAdam.\tI\u2019m\tso\tsorry. Olive:\tShould\tI\tcome\tover\tand\tkiss\tit\tbetter? Adam:\tYou\tnever\tsaid\tit\twould\thurt\tso\tbad. Olive:\t As\t someone\t once\t told\t me,\t it\u2019s\t not\t my\t job\t to\t work\t on\t your\t emotion\t regulation skills. Adam\u2019s\t answer\t was\t one\t single\t emoji\t (a\t yellow\t hand\t with\t a\t raised\t middle finger),\t and\t Olive\u2019s\t cheeks\t pulled\t with\t how\t hard\t she\t was\t grinning.\t She\t was about\tto\treply\twith\ta\tkiss\temoji\twhen\ta\tvoice\tinterrupted\ther. \u201cGross.\u201d She\tlooked\tup\tfrom\ther\tphone.\tAnh\tstood\tin\tthe\tlab\u2019s\tentrance,\tsticking\tout her\ttongue. \u201cHey.\tWhat\tare\tyou\tdoing\there?\u201d \u201cBorrowing\tgloves.\tAnd\tbeing\tgrossed\tout.\u201d Olive\tfrowned.\t\u201cWhy?\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re\t out\t of\t the\t small\t size.\u201d\t Anh\t stepped\t inside,\t rolling\t her\t eyes. \u201cHonestly,\t they\t never\t buy\t enough\t because\t I\u2019m\t the\t only\t woman\t in\t the\t lab,\t but it\u2019s\tnot\tlike\tI\tdon\u2019t\tgo\tthrough\tgloves\tas\tfast\tas\u2014\u201d \u201cNo,\twhy\tare\tyou\tgrossed\tout?\u201d","Anh\t made\t a\t face\t and\t plucked\t two\t purple\t gloves\t from\t Olive\u2019s\t stash. \u201cBecause\tof\thow\tin\tlove\tyou\tare\twith\tCarlsen.\tIs\tit\tokay\tif\tI\ttake\ta\tfew\tpairs?\u201d \u201cWhat\t are\t you\u2014\u201d\t Olive\t blinked\t at\t her,\t still\t clutching\t her\t phone.\t Was\t Anh going\tcrazy?\t\u201cI\u2019m\tnot\tin\tlove\twith\thim.\u201d \u201cUh-huh,\t sure.\u201d\t Anh\t finished\t stuffing\t her\t pockets\t with\t gloves\t and\t then looked\t up,\t finally\t noticing\t Olive\u2019s\t distressed\t expression.\t Her\t eyes\t widened. \u201cHey,\t I\t was\t kidding!\t You\u2019re\t not\t gross.\t I\t probably\t look\t the\t same\t when\t I\u2019m texting\tJeremy.\tAnd\tit\u2019s\tactually\tvery\tsweet,\thow\tgone\tyou\tare\tfor\thim\u2014\u201d \u201cBut\tI\u2019m\tnot.\tGone.\u201d\tOlive\twas\tstarting\tto\tpanic.\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\u2014It\u2019s\tjust\u2014\u201d Anh\t pressed\t her\t lips\t together,\t as\t if\t biting\t back\t a\t smile.\t \u201cOkay.\t If\t you\t say so.\u201d \u201cNo,\tI\u2019m\tserious.\tWe\u2019re\tjust\u2014\u201d \u201cDude,\tit\u2019s\tokay.\u201d\tAnh\u2019s\ttone\twas\treassuring\tand\ta\tlittle\temotional.\t\u201cIt\u2019s\tjust, you\u2019re\tso\tamazing.\tAnd\tspecial.\tAnd\thonestly,\tmy\tfavorite\tperson\tin\tthe\twhole world.\t But\t sometimes\t I\t get\t worried\t that\t no\t one\t but\t Malcolm\t and\t me\t will\t ever get\tto\texperience\thow\tincredible\tyou\tare.\tWell,\tuntil\tnow.\tNow\tI\u2019m\tnot\tworried anymore,\t because\t I\u2019ve\t seen\t you\t and\t Adam\t together,\t at\t the\t picnic.\t And\t in\t the parking\tlot.\tAnd\t.\t.\t.\tevery\tother\ttime,\treally.\tYou\u2019re\tboth\tcrazy\tin\tlove,\tand\tover the\t moon\t about\t it.\t It\u2019s\t cute!\t Except\t that\t first\t night,\u201d\t she\t added,\t pensive.\t \u201cI maintain\tthat\twas\tpretty\tawkward.\u201d Olive\t stiffened.\t \u201cAnh,\t it\u2019s\t not\t like\t that.\t We\u2019re\t just\t .\t .\t .\t dating.\t Casually. Hanging\tout.\tGetting\tto\tknow\teach\tother.\tWe\u2019re\tnot\t.\t.\t.\u201d \u201cOkay,\t sure.\t If\t you\t say\t so.\u201d\t Anh\t shrugged,\t clearly\t not\t believing\t a\t word\t of what\tOlive\twas\tsaying.\t\u201cHey,\tI\tgotta\tgo\tback\tto\tmy\tbacterial\tculture.\tI\u2019ll\tcome bug\tyou\twhen\tI\u2019m\ton\tbreak,\tokay?\u201d Olive\tnodded\tslowly,\twatching\ther\tfriend\u2019s\tback\tas\tshe\theaded\tfor\tthe\tdoor. Olive\u2019s\theart\tskipped\ta\tbeat\twhen\tAnh\tpaused\tand\tturned\taround,\ther\texpression suddenly\tserious. \u201cOl.\t I\t just\t want\t you\t to\t know\t that\t .\t .\t .\t I\t was\t very\t worried\t about\t you\t getting hurt\t from\t my\t dating\t Jeremy.\t But\t now\t I\u2019m\t not\t anymore.\t Because\t I\t know\t what you\treally\tlook\tlike\twhen\tyou\t.\t.\t.\tWell.\u201d\tAnh\tgave\ther\ta\tsheepish\tgrin.\t\u201cI\twon\u2019t say\tit,\tif\tyou\tdon\u2019t\twant\tme\tto.\u201d She\t left\t with\t a\t wave\t of\t her\t hand,\t and\t Olive\t stood\t frozen,\t watching\t the doorframe\t long\t past\t the\t moment\t Anh\t had\t disappeared.\t Then\t she\t lowered\t her","gaze\tto\tthe\tfloor,\tslumped\ton\tthe\tstool\tbehind\ther,\tand\tthought\tone\tsingle\tthing: Shit. \u2014 IT\t WASN\u2019T\t THE\t end\t of\t the\t world.\t These\t things\t happened.\t Even\t the\t best\t of\t people developed\t crushes\u2014Anh\t had\t said\t love,\t oh\t God,\t she\t had\t said\t love\u2014on\t the person\tthey\twere\tfake-dating.\tIt\tdidn\u2019t\tmean\tanything. Except\tthat:\tFuck.\tFuck,\tfuck,\tfuck. Olive\t locked\t the\t door\t of\t her\t office\t behind\t her\t and\t plopped\t herself\t into\t a chair,\t hoping\t today\t wouldn\u2019t\t be\t the\t one\t time\t in\t the\t semester\t that\t her\t office mates\tdecided\tto\tshow\tup\tbefore\t10:00\ta.m. It\t was\t all\t her\t fault.\t Her\t stupid\t doing.\t She\t had\t known,\t she\t had\t known,\t that she\u2019d\t begun\t to\t find\t Adam\t attractive.\t She\t had\t known\t almost\t from\t the\t very beginning,\tand\tthen\tshe\u2019d\tstarted\ttalking\twith\thim,\tshe\u2019d\tstarted\tgetting\tto\tknow him\teven\tthough\tit\twas\tnever\tpart\tof\tthe\tplan,\tand\u2014damn\thim\tto\thell\tfor\tbeing so\tdifferent\tfrom\twhat\tshe\u2019d\texpected.\tFor\tmaking\ther\twant\tto\tbe\twith\thim\tmore and\t more.\t Damn\t him.\t It\t had\t been\t there,\t staring\t at\t Olive\t for\t the\t past\t few\t days, and\tshe\thadn\u2019t\tnoticed.\tBecause\tshe\twas\tan\tidiot. She\t stood\t abruptly\t and\t dug\t into\t her\t pocket\t for\t her\t phone,\t pulling\t up Malcolm\u2019s\tcontact. Olive:\tWe\thave\tto\tmeet. Bless\tMalcolm,\tbecause\tit\ttook\thim\tfewer\tthan\tfive\tseconds\tto\tanswer. Malcolm:\tLunch?\tI\u2019m\tabout\tto\tdig\tinto\tthe\tneuromuscular\tjunction\tof\ta\tjuvenile\trat. Olive:\tI\tneed\tto\ttalk\tto\tyou\tNOW. Olive:\tPlease. Malcolm:\tStarbucks.\tIn\t10. \u2014 \u201cI\tTOLD\tYOU\tso.\u201d Olive\tdidn\u2019t\tbother\tlifting\ther\tforehead\tfrom\tthe\ttable.\t\u201cYou\tdidn\u2019t.\u201d \u201cWell,\t maybe\t I\t didn\u2019t\t say,\t \u2018Hey,\t don\u2019t\t do\t this\t fake-dating\t shit\t because you\u2019re\tgoing\tto\tfall\tfor\tCarlsen,\u2019\tbut\tI\tdid\tsay\tthat\tthe\twhole\tidea\twas\tidiotic\tand a\t car\t wreck\t waiting\t to\t happen\u2014which\t I\t believe\t encompasses\t the\t current situation.\u201d","Malcolm\t was\t sitting\t across\t from\t her,\t by\t the\t window\t of\t the\t crowded\t coffee shop.\t Around\t them\t students\t chatted,\t laughed,\t ordered\t drinks\u2014rudely\t unaware of\tthe\tsudden\tmaelstrom\tin\tOlive\u2019s\tlife.\tShe\tpushed\tup\tfrom\tthe\tcold\tsurface\tof the\ttable\tand\tpressed\ther\tpalms\tinto\ther\teyes,\tnot\tquite\tready\tto\topen\tthem\tyet. She\t might\t never\t be\t ready\t again.\t \u201cHow\t could\t this\t happen?\t I\t am\t not\t like\t this. This\t is\t not\t me.\t How\t could\t I\u2014and\t Adam\t Carlsen,\t of\t everyone.\t Who\t is\t into Adam\tCarlsen?\u201d Malcolm\t snorted.\t \u201cEveryone,\t Ol.\t He\u2019s\t a\t tall,\t broody,\t sullen\t hunk\t with\t a genius\tIQ.\tEveryone\tlikes\ttall,\tbroody,\tsullen\thunks\twith\tgenius\tIQs.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t!\u201d \u201cClearly\tyou\tdo.\u201d She\tsqueezed\ther\teyes\tshut\tand\twhimpered.\t\u201cHe\u2019s\treally\tnot\tthat\tsullen.\u201d \u201cOh,\the\tis.\tJust,\tyou\tdon\u2019t\tnotice,\tbecause\tyou\u2019re\thalfway\tgone\tfor\thim.\u201d \u201cI\tam\tnot\u2014\u201d\tShe\tsmacked\ther\tforehead.\tRepeatedly.\t\u201cShit.\u201d He\t leaned\t forward\t and\t grabbed\t her\t hand,\t his\t skin\t dark\t and\t warm\t against hers.\t\u201cHey,\u201d\the\ttold\ther,\tvoice\tpitched\tto\ta\tcomforting\ttone.\t\u201cSettle\tdown.\tWe\u2019ll figure\t it\t out.\u201d\t He\t even\t tacked\t on\t a\t smile.\t Olive\t loved\t him\t so\t much\t in\t that moment,\teven\twith\tall\tthe\tI\ttold\tyou\tsos.\t\u201cFirst\tof\tall,\thow\tbad\tis\tit?\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow.\tIs\tthere\ta\tscale?\u201d \u201cWell,\tthere\tis\tliking,\tand\tthere\tis\tliking.\u201d She\tshook\ther\thead,\tfeeling\tutterly\tlost.\t\u201cI\tjust\tlike\thim.\tI\twant\tto\tspend\ttime with\thim.\u201d \u201cOkay,\tthat\tdoesn\u2019t\tmean\tanything.\tYou\talso\twant\tto\tspend\ttime\twith\tme.\u201d She\tgrimaced,\tfeeling\therself\tblush\tscarlet.\t\u201cNot\tquite\tlike\tthat.\u201d Malcolm\twas\tquiet\tfor\ta\tbeat.\t\u201cI\tsee.\u201d\tHe\tknew\thow\tbig\tof\ta\tdeal\tthis\twas\tfor Olive.\t They\u2019d\t talked\t about\t it\t multiple\t times\u2014how\t rare\t it\t was\t for\t her\t to experience\tattraction,\tespecially\tsexual\tattraction.\tIf\tthere\twas\tsomething\twrong with\ther.\tIf\ther\tpast\thad\tstunted\ther\tin\tsome\tway. \u201cGod.\u201d\t She\t just\t wanted\t to\t retreat\t inside\t her\t hoodie\t like\t a\t turtle\t until\t it\t all went\t away.\t Go\t run\t a\t race.\t Start\t writing\t her\t dissertation\t proposal.\t Anything\t but deal\twith\tthis.\t\u201cIt\twas\tthere,\tand\tI\tdidn\u2019t\tfigure\tit\tout.\tI\tjust\tthought\the\twas\tsmart and\t attractive\t and\t that\t he\t had\t a\t nice\t smile\t and\t that\t we\t could\t be\t friends\t and\u2014\u201d She\trubbed\ther\tpalms\tinto\ther\teye\tsockets,\twishing\tshe\tcould\tgo\tback\tand\terase her\tlife\tchoices.\tThe\tentire\tpast\tmonth.\t\u201cDo\tyou\thate\tme?\u201d","\u201cMe?\u201d\tMalcolm\tsounded\tsurprised. \u201cYes.\u201d \u201cNo.\tWhy\twould\tI\thate\tyou?\u201d \u201cBecause\t he\u2019s\t been\t horrible\t to\t you,\t made\t you\t throw\t out\t a\t ton\t of\t data.\t It\u2019s just\u2014with\tme\the\u2019s\tnot\u2014\u201d \u201cI\tknow.\tWell,\u201d\the\tamended,\twaving\this\thand,\t\u201cI\tdon\u2019t\tknow\tknow.\tBut\tI\tcan believe\the\u2019s\tdifferent\twith\tyou\tthan\twhen\the\twas\tin\tmy\tdamn\tgraduate\tadvisory committee.\u201d \u201cYou\thate\thim.\u201d \u201cYeah\u2014I\t hate\t him.\t Or\t .\t .\t .\t I\t dislike\t him.\t But\t you\t don\u2019t\t have\t to\t dislike\t him because\tI\tdo.\tThough\tI\tdo\treserve\tthe\tright\tto\tcomment\ton\tyour\tabysmal\ttaste\tin men.\tEvery\tother\tday\tor\tso.\tBut,\tOl,\tI\tsaw\tyou\tguys\tat\tthe\tpicnic.\tHe\tdefinitely wasn\u2019t\t interacting\t with\t you\t like\t he\t does\t with\t me.\t Plus,\t you\t know,\u201d\t he\t added begrudgingly,\t\u201che\u2019s\tnot\tnot\thot.\tI\tcan\tsee\twhy\tyou\u2019d\thit\tthat.\u201d \u201cThis\tis\tnot\twhat\tyou\tsaid\twhen\tI\tfirst\ttold\tyou\tabout\tthe\tfake\tdating.\u201d \u201cNo,\tbut\t I\u2019m\t trying\t to\t be\t supportive\t here.\t You\t weren\u2019t\t in\t love\t with\t him\t at the\ttime.\u201d She\tgroaned.\t\u201cCan\twe\tplease\tnot\tuse\tthat\tword?\tEver\tagain?\tIt\tseems\ta\tlittle premature.\u201d \u201cSure.\u201d\t Malcolm\t brushed\t nonexistent\t dust\t off\t his\t button-down.\t \u201cWay\t to bring\ta\trom-com\tto\tlife,\tby\tthe\tway.\tSo,\thow\tare\tyou\tgoing\tto\tbreak\tthe\tnews?\u201d She\tmassaged\ther\ttemple.\t\u201cWhat\tdo\tyou\tmean?\u201d \u201cWell,\t you\t have\t a\t thing\t for\t him,\t and\t you\t two\t are\t friendly.\t I\u2019m\t assuming you\u2019re\t planning\t to\t inform\t him\t of\t your\t .\t .\t .\t feelings?\t Can\t I\t use\t the\t word \u2018feelings\u2019?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cWhatever.\u201d\tHe\trolled\this\teyes.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tgoing\tto\ttell\thim,\tright?\u201d \u201cOf\t course\t not.\u201d\t She\t snorted\t out\t a\t laugh.\t \u201cYou\t can\u2019t\t tell\t the\t person\t you\u2019re fake-dating\tthat\tyou\u201d\u2014her\tbrain\tscanned\titself\tfor\tthe\tcorrect\tword,\tdidn\u2019t\tfind it,\t and\t then\t stumbled\t on\u2014\u201clike\t them.\t It\u2019s\t just\t not\t done.\t Adam\t will\t think\t I orchestrated\tthis.\tThat\tI\twas\tafter\thim\tall\talong.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s\tridiculous.\tYou\tdidn\u2019t\teven\tknow\thim\tat\tthe\ttime.\u201d \u201cMaybe\t I\t did,\t though.\t Do\t you\t remember\t the\t guy\t I\t told\t you\t about,\t who helped\t me\t decide\t about\t grad\t school?\t The\t one\t I\t met\t in\t the\t bathroom\t over\t my","interview\tweekend?\u201d Malcolm\tnodded. \u201cHe\tmight\thave\tbeen\tAdam.\tI\tthink.\u201d \u201cYou\tthink?\tYou\tmean\tyou\tdidn\u2019t\task\thim?\u201d \u201cOf\tcourse\tnot.\u201d \u201cWhy\t\u2018of\tcourse\u2019?\u201d \u201cBecause\tmaybe\tit\twasn\u2019t\thim.\tAnd\tif\the\twas,\the\tclearly\tdoesn\u2019t\tremember, or\the\u2019d\thave\tmentioned\tit\tweeks\tago.\u201d He\thadn\u2019t\tbeen\tthe\tone\twearing\texpired\tcontacts,\tafter\tall. Malcolm\t rolled\t his\t eyes.\t \u201cListen,\t Olive,\u201d\t he\t said\t earnestly,\t \u201cI\t need\t you\t to consider\t something:\t What\t if\t Adam\t likes\t you,\t too?\t What\t if\t he\t wants\t something more?\u201d She\tlaughed.\t\u201cThere\tis\tno\tway.\u201d \u201cWhy\tnot?\u201d \u201cBecause.\u201d \u201cBecause\twhat?\u201d \u201cBecause\the\u2019s\thim.\tHe\u2019s\tAdam\tCarlsen,\tand\tI\t.\t.\t.\u201d\tShe\ttrailed\toff.\tNo\tneed to\tcontinue.\tAnd\tI\u2019m\tme.\tI\tam\tnothing\tspecial. Malcolm\twas\tquiet\tfor\ta\tlong\tmoment.\t\u201cYou\thave\tno\tidea,\tdo\tyou?\u201d\tHis\ttone was\tsad.\t\u201cYou\u2019re\tgreat.\tYou\u2019re\tbeautiful,\tand\tloving.\tYou\u2019re\tindependent,\tand\ta genius\t scientist,\t and\t selfless,\t and\t loyal\u2014hell,\t Ol,\t look\t at\t this\t ridiculous\t mess you\t created\t just\t so\t your\t friend\t could\t date\t the\t guy\t she\t likes\t without\t feeling guilty.\tThere\u2019s\tno\tway\tCarlsen\thasn\u2019t\tnoticed.\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d\tShe\twas\tresolute.\t\u201cDon\u2019t\tget\tme\twrong,\tI\tdo\tthink\the\tlikes\tme,\tbut\the thinks\tof\tme\tas\ta\tfriend.\tAnd\tif\tI\ttell\thim\tand\the\tdoesn\u2019t\twant\tto\t.\t.\t.\u201d \u201cTo\t what?\t Doesn\u2019t\t want\t to\t fake-date\t you\t anymore?\t It\u2019s\t not\t like\t you\t have much\tto\tlose.\u201d Maybe\t not.\t Maybe\t all\t the\t talking,\t and\t those\t looks\t Adam\t gave\t her,\t and\t him shaking\this\thead\twhen\tshe\tordered\textra\twhipped\tcream;\tthe\tway\the\tlet\thimself be\tteased\tout\tof\this\tmoods;\tthe\ttexts;\thow\the\tseemed\tto\tbe\tso\tat\tease\twith\ther,\tso noticeably\t different\t from\t the\t Adam\t Carlsen\t she\t used\t to\t be\t half-scared\t of\u2014 maybe\tall\tof\tthat\twas\tnot\tmuch.\tBut\tshe\tand\tAdam\twere\tfriends\tnow,\tand\tthey could\tremain\tfriends\teven\tpast\tSeptember\ttwenty-ninth.\tOlive\u2019s\theart\tsank\tat\tthe thought\tof\tgiving\tup\tthe\tpossibility\tof\tit.\t\u201cI\tdo,\tthough.\u201d"]
Search
Read the Text Version
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
- 97
- 98
- 99
- 100
- 101
- 102
- 103
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- 109
- 110
- 111
- 112
- 113
- 114
- 115
- 116
- 117
- 118
- 119
- 120
- 121
- 122
- 123
- 124
- 125
- 126
- 127
- 128
- 129
- 130
- 131
- 132
- 133
- 134
- 135
- 136
- 137
- 138
- 139
- 140
- 141
- 142
- 143
- 144
- 145
- 146
- 147
- 148
- 149
- 150
- 151
- 152
- 153
- 154
- 155
- 156
- 157
- 158
- 159
- 160
- 161
- 162
- 163
- 164
- 165
- 166
- 167
- 168
- 169
- 170
- 171
- 172
- 173
- 174
- 175
- 176
- 177
- 178
- 179
- 180
- 181
- 182
- 183
- 184
- 185
- 186
- 187
- 188
- 189
- 190
- 191
- 192
- 193
- 194
- 195
- 196
- 197
- 198
- 199
- 200
- 201
- 202
- 203
- 204
- 205
- 206
- 207
- 208
- 209
- 210
- 211
- 212
- 213
- 214
- 215
- 216
- 217
- 218
- 219
- 220
- 221
- 222
- 223
- 224
- 225
- 226
- 227
- 228
- 229
- 230
- 231
- 232
- 233
- 234
- 235
- 236
- 237
- 238
- 239
- 240
- 241
- 242
- 243
- 244
- 245
- 246
- 247
- 248
- 249
- 250
- 251
- 252
- 253
- 254
- 255
- 256
- 257
- 258
- 259
- 260
- 261
- 262
- 263
- 264
- 265
- 266
- 267
- 268
- 269
- 270
- 271
- 272
- 273
- 274
- 275
- 276
- 277
- 278
- 279
- 280
- 281
- 282
- 283
- 284
- 285
- 286
- 287
- 288
- 289
- 290
- 291
- 292
- 293
- 294
- 295
- 296
- 297
- 298
- 299
- 300
- 301
- 302
- 303
- 304
- 305
- 306
- 307
- 308
- 309
- 310
- 311
- 312
- 313
- 314
- 315
- 316
