The Love Hypothesis (1)

["She\u2019s\tsuch\ta\tweirdo.\tI\tadore\ther. \u201cHey,\t you\t sure\t you\u2019re\t going\t to\t be\t fine,\t away\t from\t Alex\t for\t the\t next\t few months?\u201d\t I\t feel\t a\t little\t guilty\t for\t taking\t her\t away\t from\t her\t boyfriend.\t When\t I was\ttwenty-two,\tif\tsomeone\thad\tasked\tme\tto\tbe\tapart\tfrom\tTim\tfor\tmonths,\tI\u2019d have\twalked\tinto\tthe\tsea.\tThen\tagain,\thindsight\thas\tproven\tbeyond\tdoubt\tthat\tI was\ta\tcomplete\tidiot,\tand\tRoc\u00edo\tseems\tpretty\tenthused\tfor\tthe\topportunity.\tShe plans\tto\tapply\tto\tJohns\tHopkins\u2019s\tneuro\tprogram\tin\tthe\tfall,\tand\tthe\tNASA\tline on\ther\tCV\twon\u2019t\thurt.\tShe\teven\thugged\tme\twhen\tI\tinvited\ther\tto\tcome\talong\u2014a moment\tof\tweakness\tI\u2019m\tsure\tshe\tdeeply\tregrets. \u201cFine?\tAre\tyou\tkidding?\u201d\tShe\tlooks\tat\tme\tlike\tI\u2019m\tinsane.\t\u201cThree\tmonths\tin Texas,\tdo\tyou\tknow\thow\tmany\ttimes\tI\u2019ll\tget\tto\tsee\tLa\tLlorona?\u201d \u201cLa\t.\t.\t.\twhat?\u201d She\trolls\ther\teyes\tand\tpops\tin\ther\tAirPods.\t\u201cYou\treally\tknow\tnothing\tabout famed\tfeminist\tghosts.\u201d I\tbite\tback\ta\tsmile\tand\tturn\tback\tto\tthe\twindow.\tIn\t1905,\tDr.\tCurie\tdecided to\tinvest\ther\tNobel\tPrize\tmoney\tinto\thiring\ther\tfirst\tresearch\tassistant.\tI\twonder if\tshe,\ttoo,\tended\tup\tworking\twith\ta\tmildly\tterrifying,\tCthulhu-worshipping\temo girl.\t I\t stare\t at\t the\t clouds\t until\t I\u2019m\t bored,\t and\t then\t I\t take\t my\t phone\t out\t of\t my pocket\t and\t connect\t to\t the\t complimentary\t in-flight\t Wi-Fi.\t I\t glance\t at\t Roc\u00edo, making\tsure\tthat\tshe\u2019s\tnot\tpaying\tattention\tto\tme,\tand\tangle\tmy\tscreen\taway. I\u2019m\tnot\ta\tvery\tsecretive\tperson,\tmostly\tout\tof\tlaziness:\tI\trefuse\tto\ttake\ton\tthe cognitive\t labor\t of\t tracking\t lies\t and\t omissions.\t I\t do,\t however,\t have\t one\t secret. One\t single\t piece\t of\t information\t that\t I\u2019ve\t never\t shared\t with\t anyone\u2014not\t even my\t sister.\t Don\u2019t\t get\t me\t wrong,\t I\t trust\t Reike\t with\t my\t life,\t but\t I\t also\t know\t her well\t enough\t to\t picture\t the\t scene:\t she\t is\t wearing\t a\t flowy\t sundress\t and\t flirting with\ta\tScottish\tshepherd\tshe\tmet\tin\ta\ttrattoria\ton\tthe\tAmalfi\tCoast.\tThey\tdecide to\tdo\tthe\tshrooms\tthey\tjust\tpurchased\tfrom\ta\tBelarusian\tfarmer,\tand\tmid-trip\tshe accidentally\tblurts\tout\tthe\tone\tthing\tshe\u2019s\tbeen\texpressly\tforbidden\tto\trepeat:\ther twin\t sister,\t Bee,\t runs\t one\t of\t the\t most\t popular\t and\t controversial\t accounts\t on Academic\t Twitter.\t The\t Scottish\t shepherd\u2019s\t cousin\t is\t a\t closeted\t men\u2019s\t rights activist\t who\t sends\t me\t a\t dead\t possum\t in\t the\t mail\t and\t rats\t me\t out\t to\t his\t insane friends,\tand\tI\tget\tfired. No,\tthank\tyou.\tI\tlove\tmy\tjob\t(and\tpossums)\ttoo\tmuch\tfor\tthis.","I\t created\t @WhatWouldMarieDo\t during\t my\t first\t semester\t of\t grad\t school.\t I was\t teaching\t a\t neuroanatomy\t class\t and\t decided\t to\t give\t my\t students\t an anonymous\t mid-semester\t survey\t to\t ask\t for\t honest\t feedback\t on\t how\t to\t improve the\t course.\t What\t I\t got\t was\t .\t .\t .\t not\t that.\t I\t was\t told\t that\t my\t lectures\t would\t be more\tinteresting\tif\tI\tdelivered\tthem\tnaked.\tThat\tI\tshould\tgain\tsome\tweight,\tget\ta boob\t job,\t stop\t dying\t my\t hair\t \u201cunnatural\t colors,\u201d\t get\t rid\t of\t my\t piercings.\t I\t was even\t given\t a\t phone\t number\t to\t call\t if\t I\t was\t \u201cever\t in\t the\t mood\t for\t a\t ten-inch dick.\u201d\t(Yeah,\tright.) The\tmessages\twere\tpretty\tappalling,\tbut\twhat\tsent\tme\tsobbing\tin\ta\tbathroom stall\t was\t the\t reactions\t of\t the\t other\t students\t in\t my\t cohort\u2014Tim\t included.\t They laughed\t the\t comments\t off\t as\t harmless\t pranks\t and\t dissuaded\t me\t from\t reporting them\t to\t the\t department\t chair,\t telling\t me\t that\t I\u2019d\t be\t making\t a\t stink\t about nothing. They\twere,\tof\tcourse,\tall\tmen. (Seriously:\tWhy\tare\tmen?) That\t night\t I\t fell\t asleep\t crying.\t The\t following\t day,\t I\t got\t up,\t wondered\t how many\tother\twomen\tin\tSTEM\tfelt\tas\talone\tas\tI\tdid,\tand\timpulsively\tdownloaded Twitter\t and\t made\t @WhatWouldMarieDo.\t I\t slapped\t on\t a\t poorly\t photoshopped pic\t of\t Dr.\t Curie\t wearing\t sunglasses\t and\t a\t one-line\t bio:\t Making\t the\t periodic table\t girlier\t since\t 1889\t (she\/her).\t I\t just\t wanted\t to\t scream\t into\t the\t void.\t I honestly\t didn\u2019t\t think\t that\t anyone\t would\t even\t see\t my\t first\t Tweet.\t But\t I\t was wrong. @WhatWouldMarieDo\tWhat\twould\tDr.\tCurie,\tfirst\tfemale\tprofessor\tat\tLa\tSorbonne, do\tif\tone\tof\ther\tstudents\tasked\ther\tto\tdeliver\ther\tlectures\tnaked? @198888\tShe\twould\tshorten\this\thalf-life. @annahhhh\tRAT\tHIM\tOUT\tTO\tPIERRE!!! @emily89\tPut\tsome\tpolonium\tin\this\tpants\tand\twatch\this\tdick\tshrivel. @bioworm55\tNuke\thim\tNUKE\tHIM @lucyinthesea\tHas\tthis\thappened\tto\tyou?\tGod\tI\u2019m\tso\tsorry.\tOnce\ta\tstudent\tsaid something\tabout\tmy\tass\tand\tit\twas\tso\tgross\tand\tno\tone\tbelieved\tme.","Over\t half\t a\t decade\t later,\t after\t a\t handful\t of\t Chronicle\t of\t Higher\t Education nods,\t a\t New\t York\t Times\t article,\t and\t about\t a\t million\t followers,\t WWMD\t is\t my happy\t place.\t What\u2019s\t best\t is,\t I\t think\t the\t same\t is\t true\t for\t many\t others.\t The account\t has\t evolved\t into\t a\t therapeutic\t community\t of\t sorts,\t used\t by\t women\t in STEM\tto\ttell\ttheir\tstories,\texchange\tadvice,\tand\t.\t.\t.\tbitch. Oh,\twe\tbitch.\tWe\tbitch\ta\tlot,\tand\tit\u2019s\tglorious. @BiologySarah\tHey,\t@WhatWouldMarieDo\tif\tshe\tweren\u2019t\tgiven\tauthorship\ton\ta project\tthat\twas\toriginally\ther\tidea\tand\tthat\tshe\tworked\ton\tfor\tover\tone\tyear?\tAll other\tauthors\tare\tmen,\tbecause\t*of\tcourse*\tthey\tare. \u201cYikes.\u201d\tI\tscrunch\tmy\tface\tand\tquote-tweet\tSarah. Marie\twould\tslip\tsome\tradium\tin\ttheir\tcoffee.\tAlso,\tshe\twould\tconsider\treporting\tthis to\ther\tinstitution\u2019s\tOffice\tof\tResearch\tIntegrity,\tmaking\tsure\tto\tdocument\tevery\tstep of\tthe\tprocess\t\u2665 I\thit\tsend,\tdrum\tmy\tfingers\ton\tthe\tarmrest,\tand\twait.\tMy\tanswers\tare\tnot\tthe main\tattraction\tof\tthe\taccount,\tnot\tin\tthe\tleast.\tThe\treal\treason\tpeople\treach\tout to\tWWMD\tis\t.\t.\t. Yep.\tThis.\tI\tfeel\tmy\tgrin\twiden\tas\tthe\treplies\tstart\tcoming\tin. @DrAllixx\tThis\thappened\tto\tme,\ttoo.\tI\twas\tthe\tonly\twoman\tand\tonly\tPOC\tin\tthe author\tlineup\tand\tmy\tname\tsuddenly\tdisappeared\tduring\trevisions.\tDM\tif\tu\twant\tto chat,\tSarah. @AmyBernard\tI\tam\ta\tmember\tof\tthe\tWomen\tin\tScience\tAssociation,\tand\twe\thave advice\tfor\tsituations\tlike\tthis\ton\tour\twebsite\t(they\u2019re\tsadly\tcommon)! @TheGeologician\tGoing\tthrough\tthe\tsame\tsituation\trn\t@BiologySarah.\tI\tdid\treport\tit to\tORI\tand\tit\u2019s\tstill\tunfolding\tbut\tI\u2019m\thappy\tto\ttalk\tif\tyou\tneed\tto\tvent. @SteveHarrison\tDude,\tbreaking\tnews:\tyou\u2019re\tlying\tto\tyourself.\tYour\tcontributions aren\u2019t\tVALUABLE\tenough\tto\twarrant\tauthorship.\tYour\tteam\tdid\tyou\ta\tfavor\tletting\tyou tag\talong\tfor\ta\twhile\tbut\tif\tyou\u2019re\tnot\tsmart\tenough,\tyou\u2019re\tOUT.\tNot\teverything\tis about\tbeing\ta\twoman,\tsometimes\tyou\u2019re\tjust\tA\tLOSER","It\t is\t a\t truth\t universally\t acknowledged\t that\t a\t community\t of\t women\t trying\t to mind\ttheir\town\tbusiness\tmust\tbe\tin\twant\tof\ta\trandom\tman\u2019s\topinion. I\u2019ve\t long\t learned\t that\t engaging\t with\t basement-dwelling\t STEMlords\t who come\tonline\tlooking\tfor\ta\tfight\tis\tnever\ta\tgood\tidea\u2014the\tlast\tthing\tI\twant\tis\tto provide\t free\t entertainment\t for\t their\t fragile\t egos.\t If\t they\t want\t to\t blow\t off\t some steam,\t they\t can\t buy\t a\t gym\t membership\t or\t play\t third-person-shooter\t video games.\tLike\tnormal\tpeople. I\t make\t to\t hide\t @SteveHarrison\u2019s\t delightful\t contribution\t but\t notice\t that someone\thas\treplied\tto\thim. @Shmacademics\tYeah,\tMarie,\tsometimes\tyou\u2019re\tjust\ta\tloser.\tSteve\twould\tknow. I\tchuckle. @WhatWouldMarieDo\tAw,\tSteve.\tDon\u2019t\tbe\ttoo\thard\ton\tyourself. @Shmacademics\tHe\tis\tjust\ta\tboy,\tstanding\tin\tfront\tof\ta\tgirl,\tasking\ther\tto\tdo\ttwice\tas much\twork\tas\the\tever\tdid\tin\torder\tto\tprove\tthat\tshe\u2019s\tworthy\tof\tbecoming\ta\tscientist. @WhatWouldMarieDo\tSteve,\tyou\told\tromantic. @SteveHarrison\tFuck\tyou.\tThis\tridiculous\tpush\tfor\twomen\tin\tSTEM\tis\truining\tSTEM. People\tshould\tget\tjobs\tbecause\tthey\u2019re\tgood\tNOT\tBECAUSE\tTHEY\tHAVE\tVAGINAS. But\tnow\tpeople\tfeel\tlike\tthey\thave\tto\thire\twomen\tand\tthey\tget\tjobs\tover\tmen\twho are\tMORE\tQUALIFIED.\tThis\tis\tthe\tend\tof\tSTEM\tAND\tIT\u2019S\tWRONG. @WhatWouldMarieDo\tI\tcan\tsee\tyou\u2019re\tupset\tabout\tthis,\tSteve. @Shmacademics\tThere,\tthere. Steve\tblocks\tboth\tof\tus,\tand\tI\tchuckle\tagain,\tdrawing\ta\tcurious\tglance\tfrom Roc\u00edo.\t @Shmacademics\t is\t another\t hugely\t popular\t account\t on\t Academic Twitter,\t and\t by\t far\t my\t favorite.\t He\t mostly\t tweets\t about\t how\t he\t should\t be writing,\t makes\t fun\t of\t elitism\t and\t ivory-tower\t academics,\t and\t points\t out\t bad\t or biased\tscience.\tI\twas\tinitially\ta\tbit\tdistrustful\tof\thim\u2014his\tbio\tsays\t\u201che\/him,\u201d\tand we\tall\tknow\thow\tcis\tmen\ton\tthe\tinternet\tcan\tbe.\tBut\the\tand\tI\tended\tup\tforming an\t alliance\t of\t sorts.\t When\t the\t STEMlords\t take\t offense\t at\t the\t sheer\t idea\t of","women\t in\t STEM\t and\t start\t pitchforking\t in\t my\t mentions,\t he\t helps\t me\t ridicule them\t a\t little.\t I\u2019m\t not\t sure\t when\t we\t started\t direct\t messaging,\t when\t I\t stopped being\tafraid\tthat\the\twas\tsecretly\ta\tretired\tGamergater\tout\tto\tdoxx\tme,\tor\twhen\tI began\t considering\t him\t a\t friend.\t But\t a\t handful\t of\t years\t later,\t here\t we\t are, chatting\t about\t half\t a\t dozen\t different\t things\t a\t couple\t of\t times\t a\t week,\t without having\t even\t exchanged\t real\t names.\t Is\t it\t weird,\t knowing\t that\t Shmac\t had\t lice three\ttimes\tin\tsecond\tgrade\tbut\tnot\twhich\ttime\tzone\the\tlives\tin?\tA\tbit.\tBut\tit\u2019s also\tliberating.\tPlus,\thaving\topinions\tonline\tcan\tbe\tvery\tdangerous.\tThe\tinternet is\ta\tsea\tfull\tof\tcreepy,\tcybercriminal\tfish,\tand\tif\tMark\tZuckerberg\tcan\tcover\this laptop\t webcam\t with\t a\t piece\t of\t tape,\t I\t reserve\t the\t right\t to\t keep\t things\t painfully anonymous. The\tflight\tattendant\toffers\tme\ta\tglass\tof\twater\tfrom\ta\ttray.\tI\tshake\tmy\thead, smile,\tand\tDM\tShmac. Marie:\tI\tthink\tSteve\tdoesn\u2019t\twant\tto\tplay\twith\tus\tanymore. Shmac:\tI\tthink\tSteve\twasn\u2019t\theld\tenough\tas\ta\ttadpole. Marie:\tLol! Shmac:\tHow\u2019s\tlife? Marie:\tGood!\tCool\tnew\tproject\tstarting\tnext\tweek.\tMy\tticket\taway\tfrom\tmy\tgross\tboss Shmac:\tI\thope\tso.\tCan\u2019t\tbelieve\tdude\u2019s\tstill\taround. Marie:\tThe\tpower\tof\tconnections.\tAnd\tinertia.\tWhat\tabout\tyou? Shmac:\tWork\u2019s\tinteresting. Marie:\tGood\tinteresting? Shmac:\tPoliticky\tinteresting.\tSo,\tno. Marie:\tI\u2019m\tafraid\tto\task.\tHow\u2019s\tthe\trest? Shmac:\tWeird. Marie:\tDid\tyour\tcat\tpoop\tin\tyour\tshoe\tagain? Shmac:\tNo,\tbut\tI\tdid\tfind\ta\ttomato\tin\tmy\tboot\tthe\tother\tday. Marie:\tSend\tpics\tnext\ttime!\tWhat\u2019s\tgoing\ton? Shmac:\tNothing,\treally. Marie:\tOh,\tcome\ton! Shmac:\tHow\tdo\tyou\teven\tknow\tsomething\u2019s\tgoing\ton? Marie:\tYour\tlack\tof\texclamation\tpoints! Shmac:\t!!!!!!!11!!1!!!!!","Marie:\tShmac. Shmac:\tFYI,\tI\u2019m\tsighing\tdeeply. Marie:\tI\tbet.\tTell\tme! Shmac:\tIt\u2019s\ta\tgirl. Marie:\tOoooh!\tTell\tme\tEVERYTHING!!!!!!!11!!1!!!!! Shmac:\tThere\tisn\u2019t\tmuch\tto\ttell. Marie:\tDid\tyou\tjust\tmeet\ther? Shmac:\tNo.\tShe\u2019s\tsomeone\tI\u2019ve\tknown\tfor\ta\tlong\ttime,\tand\tnow\tshe\u2019s\tback. Shmac:\tAnd\tshe\tis\tmarried. Marie:\tTo\tyou? Shmac:\tDepressingly,\tno. Shmac:\t Sorry\u2014we\u2019re\t restructuring\t the\t lab.\t Gotta\t go\t before\t someone\t destroys\t a\t 5\t mil piece\tof\tequipment.\tTalk\tlater. Marie:\tSure,\tbut\tI\u2019ll\twant\tto\tknow\teverything\tabout\tyour\taffair\twith\ta\tmarried\twoman Shmac:\tI\twish. It\u2019s\tnice\tto\tknow\tthat\tShmac\tis\talways\ta\tclick\taway,\tespecially\tnow\tthat\tI\u2019m flying\tinto\tthe\tWardass\u2019s\tfrosty,\tunwelcoming\tlap. I\t switch\t to\t my\t email\t app\t to\t check\t if\t Levi\t has\t finally\t answered\t the\t email\t I sent\tthree\tdays\tago.\tIt\twas\tjust\ta\tcouple\tof\tlines\u2014Hey,\tlong\ttime\tno\tsee,\tI\tlook forward\tto\tworking\ttogether\tagain,\twould\tyou\tlike\tto\tmeet\tto\tdiscuss\tBLINK\tthis weekend?\u2014but\the\tmust\thave\tbeen\ttoo\tbusy\tto\treply.\tOr\ttoo\tfull\tof\tcontempt.\tOr both. Ugh. I\tlean\tback\tagainst\tthe\theadrest\tand\tclose\tmy\teyes,\twondering\thow\tDr.\tCurie would\t deal\t with\t Levi\t Ward.\t She\u2019d\t probably\t hide\t some\t radioactive\t isotopes\t in his\tpockets,\tgrab\tpopcorn,\tand\twatch\tnuclear\tdecay\twork\tits\tmagic. Yep,\tsounds\tabout\tright. After\ta\tfew\tminutes,\tI\tfall\tasleep.\tI\tdream\tthat\tLevi\tis\tpart\tarmadillo:\this\tskin glows\t a\t faint,\t sallow\t green,\t and\t he\u2019s\t digging\t a\t tomato\t out\t of\t his\t boot\t with\t an expensive\t piece\t of\t equipment.\t Even\t with\t all\t of\t that,\t the\t weirdest\t thing\t about him\tis\tthat\the\u2019s\tfinally\tbeing\tnice\tto\tme. \u2014","WE\u2019RE\t PUT\t UP\t in\t small\t furnished\t apartments\t in\t a\t lodging\t facility\t just\t outside\t the Johnson\t Space\t Center,\t only\t a\t couple\t of\t minutes\t from\t the\t Sullivan\t Discovery Building,\t where\t we\u2019ll\t be\t working.\t I\t can\u2019t\t believe\t how\t short\t my\t commute\t is going\tto\tbe. \u201cBet\tyou\u2019ll\tstill\tmanage\tto\tbe\tlate\tall\tthe\ttime,\u201d\tRoc\u00edo\ttells\tme,\tand\tI\tglare\tat her\t while\t unlocking\t my\t door.\t It\u2019s\t not\t my\t fault\t if\t I\u2019ve\t spent\t a\t sizable\t chunk\t of my\tformative\tyears\tin\tItaly,\twhere\ttime\tis\tbut\ta\tpolite\tsuggestion. The\tplace\tis\tconsiderably\tnicer\tthan\tthe\tapartment\tI\trent\u2014maybe\tbecause\tof the\traccoon\tincident,\tprobably\tbecause\tI\tbuy\t90\tpercent\tof\tmy\tfurniture\tfrom\tthe as-is\t bargain\t corner\t at\t Ikea.\t It\t has\t a\t balcony,\t a\t dishwasher,\t and\u2014huge improvement\ton\tmy\tquality\tof\tlife\u2014a\ttoilet\tthat\tflushes\t100\tpercent\tof\tthe\ttimes I\tpush\tthe\tlever.\tTruly\tparadigm\tshifting.\tI\texcitedly\topen\tand\tclose\tevery\tsingle cupboard\t(they\u2019re\tall\tempty;\tI\u2019m\tnot\tsure\twhat\tI\texpected),\ttake\tpictures\tto\tsend Reike\tand\tmy\tcoworkers,\tstick\tmy\tfavorite\tMarie\tCurie\tmagnet\tto\tthe\tfridge\t(a picture\t of\t her\t holding\t a\t beaker\t that\t says\t \u201cI\u2019m\t pretty\t rad\u201d),\t hang\t my hummingbird\tfeeder\ton\tthe\tbalcony,\tand\tthen\t.\t.\t. It\u2019s\tstill\tonly\ttwo-thirty\tp.m.\tUgh. Not\t that\t I\u2019m\t one\t of\t those\t people\t who\t hates\t having\t free\t time.\t I\t could\t easily spend\tfive\tsolid\thours\tnapping,\trewatching\tan\tentire\tseason\tof\tThe\tOffice\twhile eating\tTwizzlers,\tor\tmoving\tto\tstep\t2\tof\tthe\tcouch-to-5K\tplan\tI\u2019m\tstill\tvery\t.\t.\t. okay,\t sort\t of\t committed\t to.\t But\t I\t am\t here!\t In\t Houston!\t Near\t the\t Space\t Center! About\tto\tstart\tthe\tcoolest\tproject\tof\tmy\tlife! It\u2019s\tFriday,\tand\tI\u2019m\tnot\tdue\tto\tcheck\tin\tuntil\tMonday,\tbut\tI\u2019m\tbrimming\twith nervous\tenergy.\tSo\tI\ttext\tRoc\u00edo\tto\task\twhether\tshe\twants\tto\tcheck\tout\tthe\tSpace Center\twith\tme\t(No.)\tor\tto\tgrab\tdinner\ttogether\t(I\tonly\teat\tanimal\tcarcasses.). She\u2019s\tso\tmean.\tI\tlove\ther. My\tfirst\timpression\tof\tHouston\tis:\tbig.\tClosely\tfollowed\tby:\thumid,\tand\tthen by:\thumidly\tbig.\tIn\tMaryland,\tremnants\tof\tsnow\tstill\tcling\tto\tthe\tground,\tbut\tthe Space\tCenter\tis\talready\tlush\tand\tgreen,\ta\tmix\tof\topen\tspaces\tand\tlarge\tbuildings and\told\tNASA\taircraft\ton\tdisplay.\tThere\tare\tfamilies\tvisiting,\twhich\treminds\tme a\tlittle\tof\tan\tamusement\tpark.\tI\tcan\u2019t\tbelieve\tI\u2019m\tgoing\tto\tbe\tseeing\trockets\ton my\tway\tto\twork\tfor\tthe\tnext\tthree\tmonths.\tIt\tsure\tbeats\tthe\tperv\tcrossing\tguard who\tworks\ton\tthe\tNIH\tcampus.","The\tDiscovery\tBuilding\tis\ton\tthe\toutskirts\tof\tthe\tcenter.\tIt\u2019s\twide,\tfuturistic, and\tthree-storied,\twith\tglass\twalls\tand\ta\tcomplicated-looking\tstair\tsystem\tI\tcan\u2019t quite\t figure\t out.\t I\t step\t inside\t the\t marble\t hall,\t wondering\t if\t my\t new\t office\t will have\t a\t window.\t I\u2019m\t not\t used\t to\t natural\t light;\t the\t sudden\t intake\t of\t vitamin\t D might\tkill\tme. \u201cI\u2019m\tBee\tK\u00f6nigswasser.\u201d\tI\tsmile\tat\tthe\treceptionist.\t\u201cI\u2019m\tstarting\twork\there on\tMonday,\tand\tI\twas\twondering\tif\tI\tcould\ttake\ta\tlook\taround?\u201d He\tgives\tme\tan\tapologetic\tsmile.\t\u201cI\tcan\u2019t\tlet\tyou\tin\tif\tyou\tdon\u2019t\thave\tan\tID badge.\tThe\tengineering\tlabs\tare\tupstairs\u2014high-security\tareas.\u201d Right.\tYes.\tThe\tengineering\tlabs.\tLevi\u2019s\tlabs.\tHe\u2019s\tprobably\tup\tthere,\thard\tat work.\tEngineering.\tLabbing.\tNot\tanswering\tmy\temails. \u201cNo\tproblem,\tthat\u2019s\tunderstandable.\tI\u2019ll\tjust\u2014\u201d \u201cDr.\tK\u00f6nigswasser?\tBee?\u201d I\tturn\taround.\tThere\tis\ta\tblond\tyoung\tman\tbehind\tme.\tHe\u2019s\tnonthreateningly handsome,\tmedium\theight,\tsmiling\tat\tme\tlike\twe\u2019re\told\tfriends\teven\tthough\the doesn\u2019t\tlook\tfamiliar.\t\u201c\t.\t.\t.\tHi?\u201d \u201cI\tdidn\u2019t\tmean\tto\teavesdrop,\tbut\tI\tcaught\tyour\tname,\tand\t.\t.\t.\tI\u2019m\tGuy.\tGuy Kowalsky?\u201d The\tname\tclicks\timmediately.\tI\tbreak\tinto\ta\tgrin.\t\u201cGuy!\tIt\u2019s\tso\tnice\tto\tmeet you\t in\t person.\u201d\t When\t I\t was\t first\t notified\t of\t BLINK,\t Guy\t was\t my\t point\t of contact\tfor\tlogistics\tquestions,\tand\the\tand\tI\temailed\tback\tand\tforth\ta\tfew\ttimes. He\u2019s\t an\t astronaut\u2014an\t actual\t astronaut!\u2014working\t on\t BLINK\t while\t he\u2019s grounded.\tHe\tseemed\tso\tfamiliar\twith\tthe\tproject,\tI\tinitially\tassumed\the\u2019d\tbe\tmy co-lead. He\tshakes\tmy\thand\twarmly.\t\u201cI\tlove\tyour\twork!\tI\u2019ve\tread\tall\tyour\tarticles\u2014 you\u2019ll\tbe\tsuch\tan\tasset\tto\tthe\tproject.\u201d \u201cLikewise.\tI\tcan\u2019t\twait\tto\tcollaborate.\u201d If\tI\tweren\u2019t\tdehydrated\tfrom\tthe\tflight,\tI\u2019d\tprobably\ttear\tup.\tI\tcannot\tbelieve that\t this\t man,\t this\t nice,\t pleasant\t man\t who\t has\t given\t me\t more\t positive interactions\tin\tone\tminute\tthan\tDr.\tWardass\tdid\tin\tone\tyear,\tcould\thave\tbeen\tmy co-lead.\t I\t must\t have\t pissed\t off\t some\t god.\t Zeus?\t Eros?\t Must\t be\t Poseidon. Shouldn\u2019t\thave\tpeed\tin\tthe\tBaltic\tSea\tduring\tmy\tmisspent\tyouth. \u201cWhy\tdon\u2019t\tI\tshow\tyou\taround?\tYou\tcan\tcome\tin\tas\tmy\tguest.\u201d\tHe\tnods\tto the\treceptionist\tand\tgestures\tat\tme\tto\tfollow\thim.","\u201cI\twouldn\u2019t\twant\tto\ttake\tyou\taway\tfrom\t.\t.\t.\tastronauting?\u201d \u201cI\u2019m\t between\t missions.\t Giving\t you\t a\t tour\t beats\t debugging\t any\t day.\u201d\t He shrugs,\tsomething\tboyishly\tcharming\tabout\thim.\tWe\u2019ll\tget\talong\tgreat,\tI\talready know\tit. \u201cHave\tyou\tlived\tin\tHouston\tlong?\u201d\tI\task\tas\twe\tstep\tinto\tthe\televator. \u201cAbout\teight\tyears.\tCame\tto\tNASA\tright\tout\tof\tgrad\tschool.\tApplied\tfor\tthe Astronaut\tCorps,\tdid\tthe\ttraining,\tthen\ta\tmission.\u201d\tI\tdo\tsome\tmath\tin\tmy\thead.\tIt would\tput\thim\tin\this\tmid-thirties,\tolder\tthan\tI\tinitially\tthought.\t\u201cThe\tpast\ttwo\tor so,\t I\t worked\t on\t BLINK\u2019s\t precursor.\t Engineering\t the\t structure\t of\t the\t helmet, figuring\t out\t the\t wireless\t system.\t But\t we\t got\t to\t a\t point\t where\t we\t needed\t a neurostimulation\texpert\ton\tboard.\u201d\tHe\tgives\tme\ta\twarm\tsmile. \u201cI\t cannot\t wait\t to\t see\t what\t we\t cook\t up\t together.\u201d\t I\t also\t cannot\t wait\t to\t find out\twhy\tLevi\twas\tgiven\tthe\tlead\tof\tthis\tproject\tover\tsomeone\twho\thas\tbeen\ton\tit for\tfive\tyears.\tIt\tjust\tseems\tunfair.\tTo\tGuy\tand\tto\tme. The\televator\tdoors\topen,\tand\the\tpoints\tto\ta\tquaint-looking\tcaf\u00e9\tin\tthe\tcorner. \u201cThat\t place\t over\t there\u2014amazing\t sandwiches,\t worst\t coffee\t in\t the\t world.\t You hungry?\u201d \u201cNo,\tthanks.\u201d \u201cYou\tsure?\tIt\u2019s\ton\tme.\tThe\tegg\tsandwiches\tare\talmost\tas\tgood\tas\tthe\tcoffee is\tbad.\u201d \u201cI\tdon\u2019t\treally\teat\teggs.\u201d \u201cLet\tme\tguess,\ta\tvegan?\u201d I\t nod.\t I\t try\t hard\t to\t break\t the\t stereotypes\t that\t plague\t my\t people\t and\t not\t use the\t word\t \u201cvegan\u201d\t in\t my\t first\t three\t meetings\t with\t a\t new\t acquaintance,\t but\t if they\u2019re\tthe\tones\tto\tmention\tit,\tall\tbets\tare\toff. \u201cI\t should\t introduce\t you\t to\t my\t daughter.\t She\t recently\t announced\t that\t she won\u2019t\t eat\t animal\t products\t anymore.\u201d\t He\t sighs.\t \u201cLast\t weekend\t I\t poured\t regular milk\t in\t her\t cereal\t figuring\t she\t wouldn\u2019t\t know\t the\t difference.\t She\t told\t me\t that her\tlegal\tteam\twill\tbe\tin\ttouch.\u201d \u201cHow\told\tis\tshe?\u201d \u201cJust\tturned\tsix.\u201d I\tlaugh.\t\u201cGood\tluck\twith\tthat.\u201d I\t stopped\t having\t meat\t at\t seven,\t when\t I\t realized\t that\t the\t delicious\t pollo nuggets\t my\t Sicilian\t grandmother\t served\t nearly\t every\t day\t and\t the\t cute\t galline","grazing\t about\t the\t farm\t were\t more\t .\t .\t .\t connected\t than\t I\t originally\t suspected. Stunning\tplot\ttwist,\tI\tknow.\tReike\twasn\u2019t\tnearly\tas\tdistraught:\twhen\tI\tfrantically explained\tthat\t\u201cPigs\thave\tfamilies,\ttoo.\tA\tmom\tand\ta\tdad\tand\tsiblings\tthat\twill miss\t them,\u201d\t she\t just\t nodded\t thoughtfully\t and\t said,\t \u201cWhat\t you\u2019re\t saying\t is,\t we should\t eat\t the\t whole\t family?\u201d\t I\t went\t fully\t vegan\t a\t couple\t of\t years\t later. Meanwhile,\t my\t sister\t has\t made\t it\t her\t life\u2019s\t goal\t to\t eat\t enough\t animal\t products for\ttwo.\tTogether\twe\temit\tone\tnormal\tperson\u2019s\tcarbon\tfootprint. \u201cThe\t engineering\t labs\t are\t down\t this\t hallway,\u201d\t Guy\t says.\t The\t space\t is\t an interesting\tmix\tof\tglass\tand\twood,\tand\tI\tcan\tsee\tinside\tsome\tof\tthe\trooms.\t\u201cA\tbit cluttered,\tand\tmost\tpeople\tare\toff\ttoday\u2014we\u2019re\tshuffling\taround\tequipment\tand reorganizing\t the\t space.\t We\u2019ve\t got\t lots\t of\t ongoing\t projects,\t but\t BLINK\u2019s everyone\u2019s\tfavorite\tchild.\tThe\tother\tastronauts\tpop\tby\tevery\tonce\tin\ta\twhile\tjust to\task\thow\tmuch\tlonger\tit\twill\tbe\tuntil\ttheir\tfancy\tswag\tis\tready.\u201d I\tgrin.\t\u201cFor\treal?\u201d \u201cYep.\u201d Making\tfancy\tswag\tfor\tastronauts\tis\tmy\tliteral\tjob\tdescription.\tI\tcan\tadd\tit\tto my\tLinkedIn\tprofile.\tNot\tthat\tanyone\tuses\tLinkedIn. \u201cThe\tneuroscience\tlabs\u2014your\tlabs\u2014will\tbe\ton\tthe\tright.\tThis\tway\tthere\tare \u2014\u201d\tHis\tphone\trings.\t\u201cSorry\u2014mind\tif\tI\ttake\tit?\u201d \u201cNot\tat\tall.\u201d\tI\tsmile\tat\this\tbeaver\tphone\tcase\t(\u201cNature\u2019s\tEngineer\u201d)\tand\tlook away. I\t wonder\t whether\t Guy\t would\t think\t I\u2019m\t lame\t if\t I\t snapped\t a\t few\t pictures\t of the\tbuilding\tfor\tmy\tfriends.\tI\tdecide\tthat\tI\tcan\tlive\twith\tthat,\tbut\twhen\tI\ttake\tout my\tphone,\tI\thear\ta\tnoise\tfrom\tdown\tthe\thallway.\tIt\u2019s\tsoft\tand\tchirpy,\tand\tsounds a\tlot\tlike\ta\t.\t.\t. \u201cMeow.\u201d I\tglance\tback\tat\tGuy.\tHe\u2019s\tbusy\texplaining\thow\tto\tput\ton\tMoana\tto\tsomeone very\tyoung,\tso\tI\tdecide\tto\tinvestigate.\tMost\tof\tthe\trooms\tare\tdeserted,\tlabs\tfull of\tlarge,\tabstruse\tequipment\tthat\tlooks\tlike\tit\tbelongs\tto\t.\t.\t.\twell.\tNASA.\tI\thear male\tvoices\tsomewhere\tin\tthe\tbuilding,\tbut\tno\tsign\tof\tthe\u2014 \u201cMeow.\u201d I\tturn\taround.\tA\tfew\tfeet\taway,\tstaring\tat\tme\twith\ta\tcurious\texpression,\tis\ta beautiful\tyoung\tcalico.","\u201cAnd\t who\t might\t you\t be?\u201d\t I\t slowly\t hold\t out\t my\t hand.\t The\t kitten\t comes closer,\tdelicately\tsniffs\tmy\tfingers,\tand\tgives\tme\ta\twelcoming\theadbutt. I\t laugh.\t \u201cYou\u2019re\t such\t a\t sweet\t girl.\u201d\t I\t squat\t down\t to\t scratch\t her\t under\t her chin.\tShe\tnips\tmy\tfinger,\ta\tplayful\tlove\tbite.\t\u201cAren\u2019t\tyou\tthe\tmost\tpurr-fect\tlittle baby?\tI\tfeel\tso\tfur-tunate\tto\thave\tmet\tyou.\u201d She\tgives\tme\ta\tdisdainful\tlook\tand\tturns\taway.\tI\tthink\tshe\tunderstands\tpuns. \u201cCome\ton,\tI\twas\tjust\tkitten.\u201d\tAnother\toutraged\tglare.\tThen\t she\tjumps\ton\ta nearby\t cart,\t piled\t ceiling-high\t with\t boxes\t and\t heavy,\t precarious-looking equipment.\t\u201cWhere\tare\tyou\tgoing?\u201d I\tsquint,\ttrying\tto\tfigure\tout\twhere\tshe\tdisappeared,\tand\tthat\u2019s\twhen\tI\trealize it.\t The\t piece\t of\t equipment?\t The\t precarious-looking\t one?\t It\t actually\t is precarious.\t And\t the\t cat\t poked\t it\t just\t enough\t to\t dislodge\t it.\t And\t it\u2019s\t falling\t on my\thead. Right. About. Now. I\thave\tless\tthan\tthree\tseconds\tto\tmove\taway.\tWhich\tis\ttoo\tbad,\tbecause\tmy entire\tbody\tis\tsuddenly\tmade\tof\tstone,\tunresponsive\tto\tmy\tbrain\u2019s\tcommands.\tI stand\t there,\t terrified,\t paralyzed,\t and\t close\t my\t eyes\t as\t a\t jumbled\t chaos\t of thoughts\ttwists\tthrough\tmy\thead.\tIs\tthe\tcat\tokay?\tAm\tI\tgoing\tto\tdie?\tOh\tGod,\tI am\t going\t to\t die.\t Squashed\t by\t a\t tungsten\t anvil\t like\t Wile\t E.\t Coyote.\t I\t am\t a twenty-first\t century\t Pierre\t Curie,\t about\t to\t get\t my\t skull\t crushed\t by\t a\t horse- drawn\t cart.\t Except\t that\t I\t have\t no\t chair\t in\t the\t physics\t department\t of\t the University\t of\t Paris\t to\t leave\t to\t my\t lovely\t spouse,\t Marie.\t Except\t that\t I\t have barely\t done\t a\t tenth\t of\t all\t the\t science\t I\t meant\t to\t do.\t Except\t that\t I\t wanted\t so many\tthings\tand\tI\tnever\toh\tmy\tGod\tany\tsecond\tnow\u2014 Something\tslams\tinto\tmy\tbody,\tshoving\tme\taside\tand\tinto\tthe\twall. Everything\tis\tpain. For\ta\tcouple\tof\tseconds.\tThen\tthe\tpain\tis\tover,\tand\teverything\tis\tnoise:\tmetal clanking\t as\t it\t plunges\t to\t the\t floor,\t horrified\t screaming,\t a\t shrill\t \u201cmeow\u201d somewhere\t in\t the\t distance,\t and,\t closer\t to\t my\t ear\t .\t .\t .\t someone\t is\t panting.\t Less than\tan\tinch\tfrom\tme. I\topen\tmy\teyes,\tgasping\tfor\tbreath,\tand\t.\t.\t. Green.","All\t I\t can\t see\t is\t green.\t Not\t dark,\t like\t the\t grass\t outside;\t not\t dull,\t like\t the pistachios\tI\thad\ton\tthe\tplane.\tThis\tgreen\tis\tlight,\tpiercing,\tintense.\tFamiliar,\tbut hard\tto\tplace,\tnot\tunlike\u2014 Eyes.\t I\u2019m\t looking\t up\t into\t the\t greenest\t eyes\t I\u2019ve\t ever\t seen.\t Eyes\t that\t I\u2019ve seen\t before.\t Eyes\t surrounded\t by\t wavy\t black\t hair\t and\t a\t face\t that\u2019s\t angles\t and sharp\tedges\tand\tfull\tlips,\ta\tface\tthat\u2019s\toffensively,\timperfectly\thandsome.\tA\tface attached\t to\t a\t large,\t solid\t body\u2014a\t body\t that\t is\t pinning\t me\t to\t the\t wall,\t a\t body made\tof\ta\tbroad\tchest\tand\ttwo\tthighs\tthat\tcould\tmoonlight\tas\tredwoods.\tEasily. One\t is\t slotted\t between\t my\t legs\t and\t it\u2019s\t holding\t me\t up.\t Unyielding.\t This\t man even\tsmells\tlike\ta\tforest\u2014and\tthat\tmouth.\tThat\tmouth\tis\tstill\tbreathing\theavily on\t top\t of\t me,\t probably\t from\t the\t effort\t of\t whisking\t me\t off\t from\t under\t seven hundred\tpounds\tof\tmechanical\tengineering\ttools,\tand\u2014 I\tknow\tthat\tmouth. Levi. Levi. I\t haven\u2019t\t seen\t Levi\t Ward\t in\t six\t years.\t Six\t blessed,\t blissful\t years.\t And\t now here\the\tis,\tpushing\tme\tinto\ta\twall\tin\tthe\tmiddle\tof\tNASA\u2019s\tSpace\tCenter,\tand\the looks\t.\t.\t.\the\tlooks\t.\t.\t. \u201cLevi!\u201d\tsomeone\tyells.\tThe\tclanking\tgoes\tsilent.\tWhat\twas\tmeant\tto\tfall\thas settled\ton\tthe\tfloor.\t\u201cAre\tyou\tokay?\u201d Levi\tdoesn\u2019t\tmove,\tnor\tdoes\the\tlook\taway.\tHis\tmouth\tworks,\tand\tso\tdoes\this throat.\tHis\tlips\tpart\tto\tsay\tsomething,\tbut\tno\tsound\tcomes\tout.\tInstead\ta\thand,\tat once\trushed\tand\tgentle,\treaches\tup\tto\tcup\tmy\tface.\tIt\u2019s\tso\tlarge,\tI\tfeel\tperfectly cradled.\t Engulfed\t in\t green,\t cozy\t warmth.\t I\t whimper\t when\t it\t leaves\t my\t skin,\t a plaintive,\t involuntary\t sound\t from\t deep\t in\t my\t throat,\t but\t I\t stop\t when\t I\t realize that\t it\u2019s\t only\t shifting\t to\t the\t back\t of\t my\t skull.\t To\t the\t hollow\t of\t my\t collarbone. To\tmy\tbrow,\tpushing\tback\tmy\thair. It\u2019s\t a\t cautious\t touch.\t Pressing\t but\t delicate.\t Lingering\t but\t urgent.\t As\t though he\t is\t studying\t me.\t Trying\t to\t make\t sure\t that\t I\u2019m\t all\t in\t one\t piece.\t Memorizing me. I\t lift\t my\t eyes,\t and\t for\t the\t first\t time\t I\t notice\t the\t deep,\t unmasked\t concern\t in Levi\u2019s\teyes. His\tlips\tmove,\tand\tI\tthink\tthat,\tmaybe\u2014is\the\tmouthing\tmy\tname?\tOnce,\tand then\tagain?\tLike\tit\u2019s\tsome\tkind\tof\tprayer?","\u201cLevi?\tLevi,\tis\tshe\u2014\u201d My\teyelids\tfall\tclosed,\tand\teverything\tgoes\tdark.","Photo\tcourtesy\tof\tthe\tauthor Ali\tHazelwood\tis\ta\tmultipublished\tauthor\u2014alas,\tof\tpeer-reviewed\tarticles\tabout brain\tscience,\tin\twhich\tno\tone\tmakes\tout\tand\tthe\tever\tafter\tis\tnot\talways\thappy. Originally\t from\t Italy,\t she\t lived\t in\t Germany\t and\t Japan\t before\t moving\t to\t the United\t States\t to\t pursue\t a\t Ph.D.\t in\t neuroscience.\t She\t recently\t became\t a professor,\t which\t absolutely\t terrifies\t her.\t When\t Ali\t is\t not\t at\t work,\t she\t can\t be found\t running,\t eating\t cake\t pops,\t or\t watching\t sci-fi\t movies\t with\t her\t two\t feline overlords\t(and\ther\tslightly-less-feline\thusband). CONNECT\tONLINE AliHazelwood.com \tEverSoAli \tAliHazelwood","","What\u2019s\tnext\ton your\treading\tlist? Discover\tyour\tnext great\tread! \t Get\tpersonalized\tbook\tpicks\tand\tup-to-date\tnews\tabout\tthis author. Sign\tup\tnow."]