["computer\tas\tthe\toperative\tmodel\tof\tmind,\tforgetting\tthat,\tin\treality,\tthe\tbrain's wetware\tis\tawash\tin\ta\tmessy,\tpulsating\tpuddle\tof\tneurochemicals,\tnothing\tlike the\tsanitized,\torderly\tsilicon\tthat\thas\tspawned\tthe\tguiding\tmetaphor\tfor\tmind. The\tpredominant\tmodels\tamong\tcognitive\tscientists\tof\thow\tthe\tmind\tprocesses information\thave\tlacked\tan\tacknowledgment\tthat\trationality\tis\tguided\tby\u2014and can\tbe\tswamped\tby\u2014feeling.\tThe\tcognitive\tmodel\tis,\tin\tthis\tregard,\tan impoverished\tview\tof\tthe\tmind,\tone\tthat\tfails\tto\texplain\tthe\tSturm\tund\tDrang\tof feelings\tthat\tbrings\tflavor\tto\tthe\tintellect.\tIn\torder\tto\tpersist\tin\tthis\tview, cognitive\tscientists\tthemselves\thave\thad\tto\tignore\tthe\trelevance\tfor\ttheir\tmodels of\tmind\tof\ttheir\tpersonal\thopes\tand\tfears,\ttheir\tmarital\tsquabbles\tand professional\tjealousies\u2014the\twash\tof\tfeeling\tthat\tgives\tlife\tits\tflavor\tand\tits urgencies,\tand\twhich\tin\tevery\tmoment\tbiases\texactly\thow\t(and\thow\twell\tor poorly)\tinformation\tis\tprocessed. The\tlopsided\tscientific\tvision\tof\tan\temotionally\tflat\tmental\tlife\u2014which\thas guided\tthe\tlast\teighty\tyears\tof\tresearch\ton\tintelligence\u2014is\tgradually\tchanging\tas psychology\thas\tbegun\tto\trecognize\tthe\tessential\trole\tof\tfeeling\tin\tthinking. Rather\tlike\tthe\tSpockish\tcharacter\tData\tin\tStar\tTrek:\tThe\tNext\tGeneration, psychology\tis\tcoming\tto\tappreciate\tthe\tpower\tand\tvirtues\tof\temotions\tin\tmental life,\tas\twell\tas\ttheir\tdangers.\tAfter\tall,\tas\tData\tsees\t(to\this\town\tdismay,\tcould\the feel\tdismay),\this\tcool\tlogic\tfails\tto\tbring\tthe\tright\thuman\tsolution.\tOur\thumanity is\tmost\tevident\tin\tour\tfeelings;\tData\tseeks\tto\tfeel,\tknowing\tthat\tsomething essential\tis\tmissing.\tHe\twants\tfriendship,\tloyalty;\tlike\tthe\tTin\tMan\tin\tThe Wizard\tof\tOz,\the\tlacks\ta\theart.\tLacking\tthe\tlyrical\tsense\tthat\tfeeling\tbrings,\tData can\tplay\tmusic\tor\twrite\tpoetry\twith\ttechnical\tvirtuosity,\tbut\tnot\tfeel\tits\tpassion. The\tlesson\tof\tData's\tyearning\tfor\tyearning\titself\tis\tthat\tthe\thigher\tvalues\tof\tthe human\theart\u2014faith,\thope,\tdevotion,\tlove\u2014are\tmissing\tentirely\tfrom\tthe\tcoldly cognitive\tview.\tEmotions\tenrich;\ta\tmodel\tof\tmind\tthat\tleaves\tthem\tout\tis impoverished. When\tI\tasked\tGardner\tabout\this\temphasis\ton\tthoughts\tabout\tfeelings,\tor metacognition,\tmore\tthan\ton\temotions\tthemselves,\the\tacknowledged\tthat\the tended\tto\tview\tintelligence\tin\ta\tcognitive\tway,\tbut\ttold\tme,\t\\\"When\tI\tfirst\twrote about\tthe\tpersonal\tintelligences,\tI\twas\ttalking\tabout\temotion,\tespecially\tin\tmy notion\tof\tintrapersonal\tintelligence\u2014one\tcomponent\tis\temotionally\ttuning\tin\tto yourself.\tIt's\tthe\tvisceral-feeling\tsignals\tyou\tget\tthat\tare\tessential\tfor interpersonal\tintelligence.\tBut\tas\tit\thas\tdeveloped\tin\tpractice,\tthe\ttheory\tof multiple\tintelligence\thas\tevolved\tto\tfocus\tmore\ton\tmetacognition\\\"\u2014that\tis, awareness\tof\tone's\tmental\tprocesses\u2014\\\"rather\tthan\ton\tthe\tfull\trange\tof\temotional abilities.\\\" Even\tso,\tGardner\tappreciates\thow\tcrucial\tthese\temotional\tand\trelationship","Even\tso,\tGardner\tappreciates\thow\tcrucial\tthese\temotional\tand\trelationship abilities\tare\tin\tthe\trough-and-tumble\tof\tlife.\tHe\tpoints\tout\tthat\t\\\"many\tpeople with\tIQs\tof\t160\twork\tfor\tpeople\twith\tIQs\tof\t100,\tif\tthe\tformer\thave\tpoor intrapersonal\tintelligence\tand\tthe\tlatter\thave\ta\thigh\tone.\tAnd\tin\tthe\tday-to-day world\tno\tintelligence\tis\tmore\timportant\tthan\tthe\tinterpersonal.\tIf\tyou\tdon't\thave it,\tyou'll\tmake\tpoor\tchoices\tabout\twho\tto\tmarry,\twhat\tjob\tto\ttake,\tand\tso\ton.\tWe need\tto\ttrain\tchildren\tin\tthe\tpersonal\tintelligences\tin\tschool.\\\" CAN\tEMOTIONS\tBE\tINTELLIGENT? To\tget\ta\tfuller\tunderstanding\tof\tjust\twhat\tsuch\ttraining\tmight\tbe\tlike,\twe\tmust turn\tto\tother\ttheorists\twho\tare\tfollowing\tGardner's\tintellectual\tlead\u2014most notably\ta\tYale\tpsychologist,\tPeter\tSalovey,\twho\thas\tmapped\tin\tgreat\tdetail\tthe ways\tin\twhich\twe\tcan\tbring\tintelligence\tto\tour\temotions.12\tThis\tendeavor\tis\tnot new;\tover\tthe\tyears\teven\tthe\tmost\tardent\ttheorists\tof\tIQ\thave\toccasionally\ttried to\tbring\temotions\twithin\tthe\tdomain\tof\tintelligence,\trather\tthan\tseeing \\\"emotion\\\"\tand\t\\\"intelligence\\\"\tas\tan\tinherent\tcontradiction\tin\tterms.\tThus\tE.\tL. Thorndike,\tan\teminent\tpsychologist\twho\twas\talso\tinfluential\tin\tpopularizing\tthe notion\tof\tIQ\tin\tthe\t1920s\tand\t1930s,\tproposed\tin\ta\tHarper's\tMagazine\tarticle that\tone\taspect\tof\temotional\tintelligence,\t\\\"social\\\"\tintelligence\u2014the\tability\tto understand\tothers\tand\t\\\"act\twisely\tin\thuman\trelations\\\"\u2014was\titself\tan\taspect\tof\ta person's\tIQ.\tOther\tpsychologists\tof\tthe\ttime\ttook\ta\tmore\tcynical\tview\tof\tsocial intelligence,\tseeing\tit\tin\tterms\tof\tskills\tfor\tmanipulating\tother\tpeople\u2014getting them\tto\tdo\twhat\tyou\twant,\twhether\tthey\twant\tto\tor\tnot.\tBut\tneither\tof\tthese formulations\tof\tsocial\tintelligence\theld\tmuch\tsway\twith\ttheorists\tof\tIQ,\tand\tby 1960\tan\tinfluential\ttextbook\ton\tintelligence\ttests\tpronounced\tsocial\tintelligence a\t\\\"useless\\\"\tconcept. But\tpersonal\tintelligence\twould\tnot\tbe\tignored,\tmainly\tbecause\tit\tmakes\tboth intuitive\tand\tcommon\tsense.\tFor\texample,\twhen\tRobert\tSteinberg,\tanother\tYale psychologist,\tasked\tpeople\tto\tdescribe\tan\t\\\"intelligent\tperson,\\\"\tpractical\tpeople skills\twere\tamong\tthe\tmain\ttraits\tlisted.\tMore\tsystematic\tresearch\tby\tSternberg led\thim\tback\tto\tThorndike's\tconclusion:\tthat\tsocial\tintelligence\tis\tboth\tdistinct from\tacademic\tabilities\tand\ta\tkey\tpart\tof\twhat\tmakes\tpeople\tdo\twell\tin\tthe practicalities\tof\tlife.\tAmong\tthe\tpractical\tintelligences\tthat\tare,\tfor\tinstance,\tso highly\tvalued\tin\tthe\tworkplace\tis\tthe\tkind\tof\tsensitivity\tthat\tallows\teffective managers\tto\tpick\tup\ttacit\tmessages.13 In\trecent\tyears\ta\tgrowing\tgroup\tof\tpsychologists\thas\tcome\tto\tsimilar conclusions,\tagreeing\twith\tGardner\tthat\tthe\told\tconcepts\tof\tIQ\trevolved\taround a\tnarrow\tband\tof\tlinguistic\tand\tmath\tskills,\tand\tthat\tdoing\twell\ton\tIQ\ttests\twas","a\tnarrow\tband\tof\tlinguistic\tand\tmath\tskills,\tand\tthat\tdoing\twell\ton\tIQ\ttests\twas most\tdirectly\ta\tpredictor\tof\tsuccess\tin\tthe\tclassroom\tor\tas\ta\tprofessor\tbut\tless and\tless\tso\tas\tlife's\tpaths\tdiverged\tfrom\tacademe.\tThese\tpsychologists\u2014 Sternberg\tand\tSalovey\tamong\tthem\u2014have\ttaken\ta\twider\tview\tof\tintelligence, trying\tto\treinvent\tit\tin\tterms\tof\twhat\tit\ttakes\tto\tlead\tlife\tsuccessfully.\tAnd\tthat line\tof\tenquiry\tleads\tback\tto\tan\tappreciation\tof\tjust\thow\tcrucial\t\\\"personal\\\"\tor emotional\tintelligence\tis. Salovey\tsubsumes\tGardner's\tpersonal\tintelligences\tin\this\tbasic\tdefinition\tof emotional\tintelligence,\texpanding\tthese\tabilities\tinto\tfive\tmain\tdomains:14 \t 1.\tKnowing\tone's\temotions.\tSelf-awareness\u2014recognizing\ta\tfeeling\tas\tit happens\t\u2014is\tthe\tkeystone\tof\temotional\tintelligence.\tAs\twe\twill\tsee\tin\tChapter 4,\tthe\tability\tto\tmonitor\tfeelings\tfrom\tmoment\tto\tmoment\tis\tcrucial\tto psychological\tinsight\tand\tself-understanding.\tAn\tinability\tto\tnotice\tour\ttrue feelings\tleaves\tus\tat\ttheir\tmercy.\tPeople\twith\tgreater\tcertainty\tabout\ttheir feelings\tare\tbetter\tpilots\tof\ttheir\tlives,\thaving\ta\tsurer\tsense\tof\thow\tthey\treally feel\tabout\tpersonal\tdecisions\tfrom\twhom\tto\tmarry\tto\twhat\tjob\tto\ttake. 2.\tManaging\temotions.\tHandling\tfeelings\tso\tthey\tare\tappropriate\tis\tan\tability that\tbuilds\ton\tself-awareness.\tChapter\t5\twill\texamine\tthe\tcapacity\tto\tsoothe oneself,\tto\tshake\toff\trampant\tanxiety,\tgloom,\tor\tirritability\u2014and\tthe consequences\tof\tfailure\tat\tthis\tbasic\temotional\tskill.\tPeople\twho\tare\tpoor\tin\tthis ability\tare\tconstantly\tbattling\tfeelings\tof\tdistress,\twhile\tthose\twho\texcel\tin\tit\tcan bounce\tback\tfar\tmore\tquickly\tfrom\tlife's\tsetbacks\tand\tupsets. 3.\tMotivating\toneself.\tAs\tChapter\t6\twill\tshow,\tmarshaling\temotions\tin\tthe service\tof\ta\tgoal\tis\tessential\tfor\tpaying\tattention,\tfor\tself-motivation\tand mastery,\tand\tfor\tcreativity.\tEmotional\tself-control\u2014delaying\tgratification\tand stifling\timpulsiveness\u2014underlies\taccomplishment\tof\tevery\tsort.\tAnd\tbeing\table to\tget\tinto\tthe\t\\\"flow\\\"\tstate\tenables\toutstanding\tperformance\tof\tall\tkinds.\tPeople who\thave\tthis\tskill\ttend\tto\tbe\tmore\thighly\tproductive\tand\teffective\tin\twhatever they\tundertake. 4.\tRecognizing\temotions\tin\tothers.\tEmpathy,\tanother\tability\tthat\tbuilds\ton emotional\tself-awareness,\tis\tthe\tfundamental\t\\\"people\tskill.\\\"\tChapter\t7\twill investigate\tthe\troots\tof\tempathy,\tthe\tsocial\tcost\tof\tbeing\temotionally\ttone-deaf, and\tthe\treasons\tempathy\tkindles\taltruism.\tPeople\twho\tare\tempathic\tare\tmore attuned\tto\tthe\tsubtle\tsocial\tsignals\tthat\tindicate\twhat\tothers\tneed\tor\twant.\tThis","makes\tthem\tbetter\tat\tcallings\tsuch\tas\tthe\tcaring\tprofessions,\tteaching,\tsales,\tand management. 5.\tHandling\trelationships.\tThe\tart\tof\trelationships\tis,\tin\tlarge\tpart,\tskill\tin managing\temotions\tin\tothers.\tChapter\t8\tlooks\tat\tsocial\tcompetence\tand incompetence,\tand\tthe\tspecific\tskills\tinvolved.\tThese\tare\tthe\tabilities\tthat undergird\tpopularity,\tleadership,\tand\tinterpersonal\teffectiveness.\tPeople\twho excel\tin\tthese\tskills\tdo\twell\tat\tanything\tthat\trelies\ton\tinteracting\tsmoothly\twith others;\tthey\tare\tsocial\tstars. \t Of\tcourse,\tpeople\tdiffer\tin\ttheir\tabilities\tin\teach\tof\tthese\tdomains;\tsome\tof\tus may\tbe\tquite\tadept\tat\thandling,\tsay,\tour\town\tanxiety,\tbut\trelatively\tinept\tat soothing\tsomeone\telse's\tupsets.\tThe\tunderlying\tbasis\tfor\tour\tlevel\tof\tability\tis, no\tdoubt,\tneural,\tbut\tas\twe\twill\tsee,\tthe\tbrain\tis\tremarkably\tplastic,\tconstantly learning.\tLapses\tin\temotional\tskills\tcan\tbe\tremedied:\tto\ta\tgreat\textent\teach\tof these\tdomains\trepresents\ta\tbody\tof\thabit\tand\tresponse\tthat,\twith\tthe\tright\teffort, can\tbe\timproved\ton. IQ\tAND\tEMOTIONS\tINTELLIGENCE:\tPURE\tTYPES IQ\tand\temotional\tintelligence\tare\tnot\topposing\tcompetencies,\tbut\trather\tseparate ones.\tWe\tall\tmix\tintellect\tand\temotional\tacuity;\tpeople\twith\ta\thigh\tIQ\tbut\tlow emotional\tintelligence\t(or\tlow\tIQ\tand\thigh\temotional\tintelligence)\tare,\tdespite the\tstereotypes,\trelatively\trare.\tIndeed,\tthere\tis\ta\tslight\tcorrelation\tbetween\tIQ and\tsome\taspects\tof\temotional\tintelligence\u2014though\tsmall\tenough\tto\tmake\tclear these\tare\tlargely\tindependent\tentities. Unlike\tthe\tfamiliar\ttests\tfor\tIQ,\tthere\tis,\tas\tyet,\tno\tsingle\tpaper-and-pencil\ttest that\tyields\tan\t\\\"emotional\tintelligence\tscore\\\"\tand\tthere\tmay\tnever\tbe\tone. Although\tthere\tis\tample\tresearch\ton\teach\tof\tits\tcomponents,\tsome\tof\tthem,\tsuch as\tempathy,\tare\tbest\ttested\tby\tsampling\ta\tperson's\tactual\tability\tat\tthe\ttask\u2014for example,\tby\thaving\tthem\tread\ta\tperson's\tfeelings\tfrom\ta\tvideo\tof\ttheir\tfacial expressions.\tStill,\tusing\ta\tmeasure\tfor\twhat\the\tcalls\t\\\"ego\tresilience\\\"\twhich\tis quite\tsimilar\tto\temotional\tintelligence\t(it\tincludes\tthe\tmain\tsocial\tand\temotional competences),\tJack\tBlock,\ta\tpsychologist\tat\tthe\tUniversity\tof\tCalifornia\tat Berkeley,\thas\tmade\ta\tcomparison\tof\ttwo\ttheoretical\tpure\ttypes:\tpeople\thigh\tin IQ\tversus\tpeople\thigh\tin\temotional\taptitudes.15\tThe\tdifferences\tare\ttelling. The\thigh-IQ\tpure\ttype\t(that\tis,\tsetting\taside\temotional\tintelligence)\tis\talmost\ta","caricature\tof\tthe\tintellectual,\tadept\tin\tthe\trealm\tof\tmind\tbut\tinept\tin\tthe\tpersonal world.\tThe\tprofiles\tdiffer\tslightly\tfor\tmen\tand\twomen.\tThe\thigh-IQ\tmale\tis typified\u2014no\tsurprise\u2014by\ta\twide\trange\tof\tintellectual\tinterests\tand\tabilities.\tHe is\tambitious\tand\tproductive,\tpredictable\tand\tdogged,\tand\tuntroubled\tby\tconcerns about\thimself.\tHe\talso\ttends\tto\tbe\tcritical\tand\tcondescending,\tfastidious\tand inhibited,\tuneasy\twith\tsexuality\tand\tsensual\texperience,\tunexpressive\tand detached,\tand\temotionally\tbland\tand\tcold. By\tcontrast,\tmen\twho\tare\thigh\tin\temotional\tintelligence\tare\tsocially\tpoised, outgoing\tand\tcheerful,\tnot\tprone\tto\tfearfulness\tor\tworried\trumination.\tThey have\ta\tnotable\tcapacity\tfor\tcommitment\tto\tpeople\tor\tcauses,\tfor\ttaking responsibility,\tand\tfor\thaving\tan\tethical\toutlook;\tthey\tare\tsympathetic\tand\tcaring in\ttheir\trelationships.\tTheir\temotional\tlife\tis\trich,\tbut\tappropriate;\tthey\tare comfortable\twith\tthemselves,\tothers,\tand\tthe\tsocial\tuniverse\tthey\tlive\tin. Purely\thigh-IQ\twomen\thave\tthe\texpected\tintellectual\tconfidence,\tare\tfluent\tin expressing\ttheir\tthoughts,\tvalue\tintellectual\tmatters,\tand\thave\ta\twide\trange\tof intellectual\tand\taesthetic\tinterests.\tThey\talso\ttend\tto\tbe\tintrospective,\tprone\tto anxiety,\trumination,\tand\tguilt,\tand\thesitate\tto\texpress\ttheir\tanger\topenly\t(though they\tdo\tso\tindirectly). Emotionally\tintelligent\twomen,\tby\tcontrast,\ttend\tto\tbe\tassertive\tand\texpress their\tfeelings\tdirectly,\tand\tto\tfeel\tpositive\tabout\tthemselves;\tlife\tholds\tmeaning for\tthem.\tLike\tthe\tmen,\tthey\tare\toutgoing\tand\tgregarious,\tand\texpress\ttheir feelings\tappropriately\t(rather\tthan,\tsay,\tin\toutbursts\tthey\tlater\tregret);\tthey\tadapt well\tto\tstress.\tTheir\tsocial\tpoise\tlets\tthem\teasily\treach\tout\tto\tnew\tpeople;\tthey are\tcomfortable\tenough\twith\tthemselves\tto\tbe\tplayful,\tspontaneous,\tand\topen\tto sensual\texperience.\tUnlike\tthe\twomen\tpurely\thigh\tin\tIQ,\tthey\trarely\tfeel\tanxious or\tguilty,\tor\tsink\tinto\trumination. These\tportraits,\tof\tcourse,\tare\textremes\u2014all\tof\tus\tmix\tIQ\tand\temotional intelligence\tin\tvarying\tdegrees.\tBut\tthey\toffer\tan\tinstructive\tlook\tat\twhat\teach\tof these\tdimensions\tadds\tseparately\tto\ta\tperson's\tqualities.\tTo\tthe\tdegree\ta\tperson has\tboth\tcognitive\tand\temotional\tintelligence,\tthese\tpictures\tmerge.\tStill,\tof\tthe two,\temotional\tintelligence\tadds\tfar\tmore\tof\tthe\tqualities\tthat\tmake\tus\tmore fully\thuman.","4 Know\tThyself \t A\tbelligerent\tsamurai,\tan\told\tJapanese\ttale\tgoes,\tonce\tchallenged\ta\tZen\tmaster to\texplain\tthe\tconcept\tof\theaven\tand\thell.\tBut\tthe\tmonk\treplied\twith\tscorn, \\\"You're\tnothing\tbut\ta\tlout\u2014I\tcan't\twaste\tmy\ttime\twith\tthe\tlikes\tof\tyou!\\\" His\tvery\thonor\tattacked,\tthe\tsamurai\tflew\tinto\ta\trage\tand,\tpulling\this\tsword from\tits\tscabbard,\tyelled,\t\\\"I\tcould\tkill\tyou\tfor\tyour\timpertinence.\\\" \\\"That,\\\"\tthe\tmonk\tcalmly\treplied,\t\\\"is\thell.\\\" Startled\tat\tseeing\tthe\ttruth\tin\twhat\tthe\tmaster\tpointed\tout\tabout\tthe\tfury\tthat had\thim\tin\tits\tgrip,\tthe\tsamurai\tcalmed\tdown,\tsheathed\this\tsword,\tand\tbowed, thanking\tthe\tmonk\tfor\tthe\tinsight. \\\"And\tthat,\\\"\tsaid\tthe\tmonk,\t\\\"is\theaven.\\\" The\tsudden\tawakening\tof\tthe\tsamurai\tto\this\town\tagitated\tstate\tillustrates\tthe crucial\tdifference\tbetween\tbeing\tcaught\tup\tin\ta\tfeeling\tand\tbecoming\taware\tthat you\tare\tbeing\tswept\taway\tby\tit.\tSocrates's\tinjunction\t\\\"Know\tthyself\tspeaks\tto this\tkeystone\tof\temotional\tintelligence:\tawareness\tof\tone's\town\tfeelings\tas\tthey occur. It\tmight\tseem\tat\tfirst\tglance\tthat\tour\tfeelings\tare\tobvious;\tmore\tthoughtful reflection\treminds\tus\tof\ttimes\twe\thave\tbeen\tall\ttoo\toblivious\tto\twhat\twe\treally felt\tabout\tsomething,\tor\tawoke\tto\tthese\tfeelings\tlate\tin\tthe\tgame.\tPsychologists use\tthe\trather\tponderous\tterm\tmetacognition\tto\trefer\tto\tan\tawareness\tof\tthought process,\tand\tmetamood\tto\tmean\tawareness\tof\tone's\town\temotions.\tI\tprefer\tthe term\tself-awareness,\tin\tthe\tsense\tof\tan\tongoing\tattention\tto\tone's\tinternal\tstates.1 In\tthis\tself-reflexive\tawareness\tmind\tobserves\tand\tinvestigates\texperience\titself, including\tthe\temotions.2 This\tquality\tof\tawareness\tis\takin\tto\twhat\tFreud\tdescribed\tas\tan\t\\\"evenly hovering\tattention,\\\"\tand\twhich\the\tcommended\tto\tthose\twho\twould\tdo psychoanalysis.\tSuch\tattention\ttakes\tin\twhatever\tpasses\tthrough\tawareness\twith impartiality,\tas\tan\tinterested\tyet\tunreactive\twitness.\tSome\tpsychoanalysts\tcall\tit the\t\\\"observing\tego,\\\"\tthe\tcapacity\tof\tself-awareness\tthat\tallows\tthe\tanalyst\tto","monitor\this\town\treactions\tto\twhat\tthe\tpatient\tis\tsaying,\tand\twhich\tthe\tprocess\tof free\tassociation\tnurtures\tin\tthe\tpatient.3 Such\tself-awareness\twould\tseem\tto\trequire\tan\tactivated\tneocortex, particularly\tthe\tlanguage\tareas,\tattuned\tto\tidentify\tand\tname\tthe\temotions\tbeing aroused.\tSelf-awareness\tis\tnot\tan\tattention\tthat\tgets\tcarried\taway\tby\temotions, overreacting\tand\tamplifying\twhat\tis\tperceived.\tRather,\tit\tis\ta\tneutral\tmode\tthat maintains\tself-reflectiveness\teven\tamidst\tturbulent\temotions.\tWilliam\tStyron seems\tto\tbe\tdescribing\tsomething\tlike\tthis\tfaculty\tof\tmind\tin\twriting\tof\this\tdeep depression,\ttelling\tof\ta\tsense\t\\\"of\tbeing\taccompanied\tby\ta\tsecond\tself\u2014a wraithlike\tobserver\twho,\tnot\tsharing\tthe\tdementia\tof\this\tdouble,\tis\table\tto\twatch with\tdispassionate\tcuriosity\tas\this\tcompanion\tstruggles.\\\"4 At\tits\tbest,\tself-observation\tallows\tjust\tsuch\tan\tequanimous\tawareness\tof passionate\tor\tturbulent\tfeelings.\tAt\ta\tminimum,\tit\tmanifests\titself\tsimply\tas\ta slight\tstepping-back\tfrom\texperience,\ta\tparallel\tstream\tof\tconsciousness\tthat\tis \\\"meta\\\":\thovering\tabove\tor\tbeside\tthe\tmain\tflow,\taware\tof\twhat\tis\thappening rather\tthan\tbeing\timmersed\tand\tlost\tin\tit.\tIt\tis\tthe\tdifference\tbetween,\tfor example,\tbeing\tmurderously\tenraged\tat\tsomeone\tand\thaving\tthe\tself-reflexive thought\t\\\"This\tis\tanger\tI'm\tfeeling\\\"\teven\tas\tyou\tare\tenraged.\tIn\tterms\tof\tthe neural\tmechanics\tof\tawareness,\tthis\tsubtle\tshift\tin\tmental\tactivity\tpresumably signals\tthat\tneocortical\tcircuits\tare\tactively\tmonitoring\tthe\temotion,\ta\tfirst\tstep in\tgaining\tsome\tcontrol.\tThis\tawareness\tof\temotions\tis\tthe\tfundamental emotional\tcompetence\ton\twhich\tothers,\tsuch\tas\temotional\tself-control,\tbuild. Self-awareness,\tin\tshort,\tmeans\tbeing\t\\\"aware\tof\tboth\tour\tmood\tand\tour thoughts\tabout\tthat\tmood,\\\"\tin\tthe\twords\tof\tJohn\tMayer,\ta\tUniversity\tof\tNew Hampshire\tpsychologist\twho,\twith\tYale's\tPeter\tSalovey,\tis\ta\tcoformulator\tof\tthe theory\tof\temotional\tintelligence.5\tSelf-awareness\tcan\tbe\ta\tnonreactive, nonjudgmental\tattention\tto\tinner\tstates.\tBut\tMayer\tfinds\tthat\tthis\tsensibility\talso can\tbe\tless\tequanimous;\ttypical\tthoughts\tbespeaking\temotional\tself-awareness include\t\\\"I\tshouldn't\tfeel\tthis\tway,\\\"\t\\\"I'm\tthinking\tgood\tthings\tto\tcheer\tup,\\\"\tand, for\ta\tmore\trestricted\tself-awareness,\tthe\tfleeting\tthought\t\\\"Don't\tthink\tabout\tit\\\"\tin reaction\tto\tsomething\thighly\tupsetting. Although\tthere\tis\ta\tlogical\tdistinction\tbetween\tbeing\taware\tof\tfeelings\tand acting\tto\tchange\tthem,\tMayer\tfinds\tthat\tfor\tall\tpractical\tpurposes\tthe\ttwo\tusually go\thand-in-hand:\tto\trecognize\ta\tfoul\tmood\tis\tto\twant\tto\tget\tout\tof\tit.\tThis recognition,\thowever,\tis\tdistinct\tfrom\tthe\tefforts\twe\tmake\tto\tkeep\tfrom\tacting on\tan\temotional\timpulse.\tWhen\twe\tsay\t\\\"Stop\tthat!\\\"\tto\ta\tchild\twhose\tanger\thas led\thim\tto\thit\ta\tplaymate,\twe\tmay\tstop\tthe\thitting,\tbut\tthe\tanger\tstill\tsimmers. The\tchild's\tthoughts\tare\tstill\tfixated\ton\tthe\ttrigger\tfor\tthe\tanger\u2014\\\"But\the\tstole","The\tchild's\tthoughts\tare\tstill\tfixated\ton\tthe\ttrigger\tfor\tthe\tanger\u2014\\\"But\the\tstole my\ttoy!\\\"\u2014and\tthe\tanger\tcontinues\tunabated.\tSelf-awareness\thas\ta\tmore powerful\teffect\ton\tstrong,\taversive\tfeelings:\tthe\trealization\t\\\"This\tis\tanger\tI'm feeling\\\"\toffers\ta\tgreater\tdegree\tof\tfreedom\u2014not\tjust\tthe\toption\tnot\tto\tact\ton\tit, but\tthe\tadded\toption\tto\ttry\tto\tlet\tgo\tof\tit. Mayer\tfinds\tthat\tpeople\ttend\tto\tfall\tinto\tdistinctive\tstyles\tfor\tattending\tto\tand dealing\twith\ttheir\temotions:6 \t \u2022\tSelf-aware.\tAware\tof\ttheir\tmoods\tas\tthey\tare\thaving\tthem,\tthese\tpeople understandably\thave\tsome\tsophistication\tabout\ttheir\temotional\tlives.\tTheir clarity\tabout\temotions\tmay\tundergird\tother\tpersonality\ttraits:\tthey\tare autonomous\tand\tsure\tof\ttheir\town\tboundaries,\tare\tin\tgood\tpsychological\thealth, and\ttend\tto\thave\ta\tpositive\toutlook\ton\tlife.\tWhen\tthey\tget\tinto\ta\tbad\tmood,\tthey don't\truminate\tand\tobsess\tabout\tit,\tand\tare\table\tto\tget\tout\tof\tit\tsooner.\tIn\tshort, their\tmindfulness\thelps\tthem\tmanage\ttheir\temotions. \u2022\tEngulfed.\tThese\tare\tpeople\twho\toften\tfeel\tswamped\tby\ttheir\temotions\tand helpless\tto\tescape\tthem,\tas\tthough\ttheir\tmoods\thave\ttaken\tcharge.\tThey\tare mercurial\tand\tnot\tvery\taware\tof\ttheir\tfeelings,\tso\tthat\tthey\tare\tlost\tin\tthem\trather than\thaving\tsome\tperspective.\tAs\ta\tresult,\tthey\tdo\tlittle\tto\ttry\tto\tescape\tbad moods,\tfeeling\tthat\tthey\thave\tno\tcontrol\tover\ttheir\temotional\tlife.\tThey\toften feel\toverwhelmed\tand\temotionally\tout\tof\tcontrol. \u2022\tAccepting.\tWhile\tthese\tpeople\tare\toften\tclear\tabout\twhat\tthey\tare\tfeeling, they\talso\ttend\tto\tbe\taccepting\tof\ttheir\tmoods,\tand\tso\tdon't\ttry\tto\tchange\tthem. There\tseem\tto\tbe\ttwo\tbranches\tof\tthe\taccepting\ttype:\tthose\twho\tare\tusually\tin good\tmoods\tand\tso\thave\tlittle\tmotivation\tto\tchange\tthem,\tand\tpeople\twho, despite\ttheir\tclarity\tabout\ttheir\tmoods,\tare\tsusceptible\tto\tbad\tones\tbut\taccept them\twith\ta\tlaissez-faire\tattitude,\tdoing\tnothing\tto\tchange\tthem\tdespite\ttheir distress\u2014a\tpattern\tfound\tamong,\tsay,\tdepressed\tpeople\twho\tare\tresigned\tto\ttheir despair. THE\tPASSIONATE\tAND\tTHE INDIFFERENT Imagine\tfor\ta\tmoment\tthat\tyou're\ton\tan\tairplane\tflying\tfrom\tNew\tYork\tto\tSan Francisco.\tIt's\tbeen\ta\tsmooth\tflight,\tbut\tas\tyou\tapproach\tthe\tRockies\tthe\tpilot's","Francisco.\tIt's\tbeen\ta\tsmooth\tflight,\tbut\tas\tyou\tapproach\tthe\tRockies\tthe\tpilot's voice\tcomes\tover\tthe\tplane\tintercom.\t\\\"Ladies\tand\tgentlemen,\tthere's\tsome turbulence\tahead.\tPlease\treturn\tto\tyour\tseats\tand\tfasten\tyour\tseat-belts.\\\"\tAnd then\tthe\tplane\thits\tthe\tturbulence,\twhich\tis\trougher\tthan\tyou've\tever\tendured\u2014 the\tairplane\tis\ttossed\tup\tand\tdown\tand\tside\tto\tside\tlike\ta\tbeach\tball\tin\tthe\twaves. The\tquestion\tis,\twhat\tdo\tyou\tdo?\tAre\tyou\tthe\tkind\tof\tperson\twho\tburies yourself\tin\tyour\tbook\tor\tmagazine,\tor\tcontinues\twatching\tthe\tmovie,\ttuning\tout the\tturbulence?\tOr\tare\tyou\tlikely\tto\ttake\tout\tthe\temergency\tcard\tand\treview\tthe precautions,\tor\twatch\tthe\tflight\tattendants\tto\tsee\tif\tthey\tshow\tsigns\tof\tpanic,\tor strain\tto\thear\tthe\tengines\tto\tsee\tif\tthere's\tanything\tworrisome? Which\tof\tthese\tresponses\tcomes\tmore\tnaturally\tto\tus\tis\ta\tsign\tof\tour\tfavored attentional\tstance\tunder\tduress.\tThe\tairplane\tscenario\titself\tis\tan\titem\tfrom\ta psychological\ttest\tdeveloped\tby\tSuzanne\tMiller,\ta\tpsychologist\tat\tTemple University,\tto\tassess\twhether\tpeople\ttend\tto\tbe\tvigilant,\tattending\tcarefully\tto every\tdetail\tof\ta\tdistressing\tpredicament,\tor,\tin\tcontrast,\tdeal\twith\tsuch\tanxious moments\tby\ttrying\tto\tdistract\tthemselves.\tThese\ttwo\tattentional\tstances\ttoward distress\thave\tvery\tdifferent\tconsequences\tfor\thow\tpeople\texperience\ttheir\town emotional\treactions.\tThose\twho\ttune\tin\tunder\tduress\tcan,\tby\tthe\tvery\tact\tof attending\tso\tcarefully,\tunwittingly\tamplify\tthe\tmagnitude\tof\ttheir\town\treactions \u2014especially\tif\ttheir\ttuning\tin\tis\tdevoid\tof\tthe\tequanimity\tof\tself-awareness.\tThe result\tis\tthat\ttheir\temotions\tseem\tall\tthe\tmore\tintense.\tThose\twho\ttune\tout,\twho distract\tthemselves,\tnotice\tless\tabout\ttheir\town\treactions,\tand\tso\tminimize\tthe experience\tof\ttheir\temotional\tresponse,\tif\tnot\tthe\tsize\tof\tthe\tresponse\titself. At\tthe\textremes,\tthis\tmeans\tthat\tfor\tsome\tpeople\temotional\tawareness\tis overwhelming,\twhile\tfor\tothers\tit\tbarely\texists.\tConsider\tthe\tcollege\tstudent who,\tone\tevening,\tspotted\ta\tfire\tthat\thad\tbroken\tout\tin\this\tdorm,\twent\tto\tget\ta fire\textinguisher,\tand\tput\tthe\tfire\tout.\tNothing\tunusual\u2014except\tthat\ton\this\tway to\tget\tthe\textinguisher\tand\tthen\ton\tthe\tway\tback\tto\tthe\tfire,\the\twalked\tinstead\tof running.\tThe\treason?\tHe\tdidn't\tfeel\tthere\twas\tany\turgency. This\tstory\twas\ttold\tto\tme\tby\tEdward\tDiener,\ta\tUniversity\tof\tIllinois\tat\tUrbana psychologist\twho\thas\tbeen\tstudying\tthe\tintensity\twith\twhich\tpeople\texperience their\temotions.7\tThe\tcollege\tstudent\tstood\tout\tin\this\tcollection\tof\tcase\tstudies\tas one\tof\tthe\tleast\tintense\tDiener\thad\tever\tencountered.\tHe\twas,\tessentially,\ta\tman without\tpassions,\tsomeone\twho\tgoes\tthrough\tlife\tfeeling\tlittle\tor\tnothing,\teven about\tan\temergency\tlike\ta\tfire. By\tcontrast,\tconsider\ta\twoman\tat\tthe\topposite\tend\tof\tDiener's\tspectrum.\tWhen she\tonce\tlost\ther\tfavorite\tpen,\tshe\twas\tdistraught\tfor\tdays.\tAnother\ttime\tshe\twas so\tthrilled\ton\tseeing\tan\tad\tfor\ta\tbig\tsale\ton\twomen's\tshoes\tat\tan\texpensive\tstore","so\tthrilled\ton\tseeing\tan\tad\tfor\ta\tbig\tsale\ton\twomen's\tshoes\tat\tan\texpensive\tstore that\tshe\tdropped\twhat\tshe\twas\tdoing,\thopped\tin\ther\tcar,\tand\tdrove\tthree\thours\tto the\tstore\tin\tChicago. Diener\tfinds\tthat\twomen,\tin\tgeneral,\tfeel\tboth\tpositive\tand\tnegative\temotions more\tstrongly\tthan\tdo\tmen.\tAnd,\tsex\tdifferences\taside,\temotional\tlife\tis\tricher for\tthose\twho\tnotice\tmore.\tFor\tone\tthing,\tthis\tenhanced\temotional\tsensitivity means\tthat\tfor\tsuch\tpeople\tthe\tleast\tprovocation\tunleashes\temotional\tstorms, whether\theavenly\tor\thellish,\twhile\tthose\tat\tthe\tother\textreme\tbarely\texperience any\tfeeling\teven\tunder\tthe\tmost\tdire\tcircumstances. THE\tMAN\tWITHOUT\tFEELINGS Gary\tinfuriated\this\tfianc\u00e9e,\tEllen,\tbecause\teven\tthough\the\twas\tintelligent, thoughtful,\tand\ta\tsuccessful\tsurgeon,\tGary\twas\temotionally\tflat,\tcompletely unresponsive\tto\tany\tand\tall\tshows\tof\tfeeling.\tWhile\tGary\tcould\tspeak\tbrilliantly of\tscience\tand\tart,\twhen\tit\tcame\tto\this\tfeelings\u2014even\tfor\tEllen\u2014he\tfell\tsilent. Try\tas\tshe\tmight\tto\telicit\tsome\tpassion\tfrom\thim,\tGary\twas\timpassive, oblivious.\t\\\"I\tdon't\tnaturally\texpress\tmy\tfeelings,'\tGary\ttold\tthe\ttherapist\the\tsaw at\tEllen's\tinsistence.\tWhen\tit\tcame\tto\temotional\tlife,\the\tadded,\t\\\"I\tdon't\tknow what\tto\ttalk\tabout;\tI\thave\tno\tstrong\tfeelings,\teither\tpositive\tor\tnegative.\\\" Ellen\twas\tnot\talone\tin\tbeing\tfrustrated\tby\tGary's\taloofness;\tas\the\tconfided\tto his\ttherapist,\the\twas\tunable\tto\tspeak\topenly\tabout\this\tfeelings\twith\tanyone\tin\this life.\tThe\treason:\tHe\tdid\tnot\tknow\twhat\the\tfelt\tin\tthe\tfirst\tplace.\tSo\tfar\tas\the could\ttell,\the\thad\tno\tangers,\tno\tsadnesses,\tno\tjoys.8 As\this\town\ttherapist\tobserves,\tthis\temotional\tblankness\tmakes\tGary\tand others\tlike\thim\tcolorless,\tbland:\t\\\"They\tbore\teverybody.\tThat's\twhy\ttheir\twives send\tthem\tinto\ttreatment.\\\"\tGary's\temotional\tflatness\texemplifies\twhat psychiatrists\tcall\talexithymia,\tfrom\tthe\tGreek\ta-fox\t\\\"lack,\\\"\tlexis\tfor\t\\\"word,\\\"\tand thymos\tfor\t\\\"emotion.\\\"\tSuch\tpeople\tlack\twords\tfor\ttheir\tfeelings.\tIndeed,\tthey seem\tto\tlack\tfeelings\taltogether,\talthough\tthis\tmay\tactually\tbe\tbecause\tof\ttheir inability\tto\texpress\temotion\trather\tthan\tfrom\tan\tabsence\tof\temotion\taltogether. Such\tpeople\twere\tfirst\tnoticed\tby\tpsychoanalysts;\tpuzzled\tby\ta\tclass\tof\tpatients who\twere\tuntreatable\tby\tthat\tmethod\tbecause:\tthey\treported\tno\tfeelings,\tno fantasies,\tand\tcolorless\tdreams\u2014in\tshort,\tno\tinner\temotional\tlife\tto\ttalk\tabout\tat all.9\tThe\tclinical\tfeatures\tthat\tmark\talexithymics\tinclude\thaving\tdifficulty describing\tfeelings\u2014their\town\tor\tanyone\telse's\u2014and\ta\tsharply\tlimited","emotional\tvocabulary.10\tWhat's\tmore,\tthey\thave\ttrouble\tdiscriminating\tamong emotions\tas\twell\tas\tbetween\temotion\tand\tbodily\tsensation,\tso\tthat\tthey\tmight tell\tof\thaving\tbutterflies\tin\tthe\tstomach,\tpalpitations,\tsweating,\tand\tdizziness\u2014 but\tthey\twould\tnot\tknow\tthey\tare\tfeeling\tanxious. \\\"They\tgive\tthe\timpression\tof\tbeing\tdifferent,\talien\tbeings,\thaving\tcome\tfrom an\tentirely\tdifferent\tworld,\tliving\tin\tthe\tmidst\tof\ta\tsociety\twhich\tis\tdominated by\tfeelings,\\\"\tis\tthe\tdescription\tgiven\tby\tDr.\tPeter\tSifneos,\tthe\tHarvard psychiatrist\twho\tin\t1972\tcoined\tthe\tterm\talexithymia.11\tAlexithymics\trarely\tcry, for\texample,\tbut\tif\tthey\tdo\ttheir\ttears\tare\tcopious.\tStill,\tthey\tare\tbewildered\tif asked\twhat\tthe\ttears\tare\tall\tabout.\tOne\tpatient\twith\talexithymia\twas\tso\tupset after\tseeing\ta\tmovie\tabout\ta\twoman\twith\teight\tchildren\twho\twas\tdying\tof\tcancer that\tshe\tcried\therself\tto\tsleep.\tWhen\ther\ttherapist\tsuggested\tthat\tperhaps\tshe\twas upset\tbecause\tthe\tmovie\treminded\ther\tof\ther\town\tmother,\twho\twas\tin\tactuality dying\tof\tcancer,\tthe\twoman\tsat\tmotionless,\tbewildered\tand\tsilent.\tWhen\ther therapist\tthen\tasked\ther\thow\tshe\tfelt\tat\tthat\tmoment,\tshe\tsaid\tshe\tfelt\t\\\"awful,\\\" but\tcouldn't\tclarify\ther\tfeelings\tbeyond\tthat.\tAnd,\tshe\tadded,\tfrom\ttime\tto\ttime she\tfound\therself\tcrying,\tbut\tnever\tknew\texactly\twhat\tshe\twas\tcrying\tabout.12 And\tthat\tis\tthe\tnub\tof\tthe\tproblem.\tIt\tis\tnot\tthat\talexithymics\tnever\tfeel,\tbut that\tthey\tare\tunable\tto\tknow\u2014and\tespecially\tunable\tto\tput\tinto\twords\u2014 precisely\twhat\ttheir\tfeelings\tare.\tThey\tare\tutterly\tlacking\tin\tthe\tfundamental skill\tof\temotional\tintelligence,\tself-awareness\u2014knowing\twhat\twe\tare\tfeeling\tas emotions\troil\twithin\tus.\tAlexithymics\tbelie\tthe\tcommon-sense\tnotion\tthat\tit\tis perfectly\tself-evident\twhat\twe\tare\tfeeling:\tthey\thaven't\ta\tclue.\tWhen\tsomething \u2014or\tmore\tlikely,\tsomeone\u2014does\tmove\tthem\tto\tfeeling,\tthey\tfind\tthe\texperience baffling\tand\toverwhelming,\tsomething\tto\tavoid\tat\tall\tcosts.\tFeelings\tcome\tto them,\twhen\tthey\tcome\tat\tall,\tas\ta\tbefuddling\tbundle\tof\tdistress;\tas\tthe\tpatient who\tcried\tat\tthe\tmovie\tput\tit,\tthey\tfeel\t\\\"awful,\\\"\tbut\tcan't\tsay\texactly\twhich\tkind of\tawful\tit\tis\tthey\tfeel. This\tbasic\tconfusion\tabout\tfeelings\toften\tseems\tto\tlead\tthem\tto\tcomplain\tof vague\tmedical\tproblems\twhen\tthey\tare\tactually\texperiencing\temotional\tdistress \u2014a\tphenomenon\tknown\tin\tpsychiatry\tas\tsomaticizing,\tmistaking\tan\temotional ache\tfor\ta\tphysical\tone\t(and\tdifferent\tfrom\ta\tpsychosomatic\tdisease,\tin\twhich emotional\tproblems\tcause\tgenuine\tmedical\tones).\tIndeed,\tmuch\tof\tthe psychiatric\tinterest\tin\talexithymics\tis\tin\tweeding\tthem\tout\tfrom\tamong\tthose who\tcome\tto\tdoctors\tseeking\thelp,\tfor\tthey\tare\tprone\tto\tlengthy\u2014and\tfruitless\u2014 pursuit\tof\ta\tmedical\tdiagnosis\tand\ttreatment\tfor\twhat\tis\tactually\tan\temotional problem.","While\tno\tone\tcan\tas\tyet\tsay\tfor\tsure\twhat\tcauses\talexithymia,\tDr.\tSifneos proposes\ta\tdisconnection\tbetween\tthe\tlimbic\tsystem\tand\tthe\tneocortex, particularly\tits\tverbal\tcenters,\twhich\tfits\twell\twith\twhat\twe\tare\tlearning\tabout the\temotional\tbrain.\tPatients\twith\tsevere\tseizures\twho\thad\tthat\tconnection surgically\tsevered\tto\trelieve\ttheir\tsymptoms,\tnotes\tSifneos,\tbecame\temotionally flat,\tlike\tpeople\twith\talexithymia,\tunable\tto\tput\ttheir\tfeelings\tinto\twords\tand suddenly\tdevoid\tof\tfantasy\tlife.\tIn\tshort,\tthough\tthe\tcircuits\tof\tthe\temotional brain\tmay\treact\twith\tfeelings,\tthe\tneocortex\tis\tnot\table\tto\tsort\tout\tthese\tfeelings and\tadd\tthe\tnuance\tof\tlanguage\tto\tthem.\tAs\tHenry\tRoth\tobserved\tin\this\tnovel Call\tIt\tSleep\tabout\tthis\tpower\tof\tlanguage,\t\\\"If\tyou\tcould\tput\twords\tto\twhat\tyou felt,\tit\twas\tyours.\\\"\tThe\tcorollary,\tof\tcourse,\tis\tthe\talexithymic's\tdilemma:\thaving no\twords\tfor\tfeelings\tmeans\tnot\tmaking\tthe\tfeelings\tyour\town. IN\tPRAISE\tOF\tGUT\tFEELING Elliot's\ttumor,\tgrowing\tjust\tbehind\this\tforehead,\twas\tthe\tsize\tof\ta\tsmall\torange; surgery\tremoved\tit\tcompletely.\tAlthough\tthe\tsurgery\twas\tdeclared\ta\tsuccess, afterward\tpeople\twho\tknew\thim\twell\tsaid\tthat\tElliot\twas\tno\tlonger\tElliot\u2014he had\tundergone\ta\tdrastic\tpersonality\tchange.\tOnce\ta\tsuccessful\tcorporate\tlawyer, Elliot\tcould\tno\tlonger\thold\ta\tjob.\tHis\twife\tleft\thim.\tSquandering\this\tsavings\tin fruitless\tinvestments,\the\twas\treduced\tto\tliving\tin\ta\tspare\tbedroom\tat\this\tbrother's home. There\twas\ta\tpuzzling\tpattern\tto\tElliot's\tproblem.\tIntellectually\the\twas\tas bright\tas\tever,\tbut\the\tused\this\ttime\tterribly,\tgetting\tlost\tin\tminor\tdetails;\the seemed\tto\thave\tlost\tall\tsense\tof\tpriority.\tReprimands\tmade\tno\tdifference;\the\twas fired\tfrom\ta\tsuccession\tof\tlegal\tjobs.\tThough\textensive\tintellectual\ttests\tfound nothing\twrong\twith\tElliot's\tmental\tfaculties,\the\twent\tto\tsee\ta\tneurologist anyway,\thoping\tthat\tdiscovery\tof\ta\tneurological\tproblem\tmight\tget\thim\tthe disability\tbenefits\tto\twhich\the\tfelt\the\twas\tentitled.\tOtherwise\tthe\tconclusion seemed\tto\tbe\tthat\the\twas\tjust\ta\tmalingerer. Antonio\tDamasio,\tthe\tneurologist\tElliot\tconsulted,\twas\tstruck\tby\tone\telement missing\tfrom\tElliot's\tmental\trepertoire:\tthough\tnothing\twas\twrong\twith\this logic,\tmemory,\tattention,\tor\tany\tother\tcognitive\tability,\tElliot\twas\tvirtually oblivious\tto\this\tfeelings\tabout\twhat\thad\thappened\tto\thim.13\tMost\tstrikingly, Elliot\tcould\tnarrate\tthe\ttragic\tevents\tof\this\tlife\twith\tcomplete\tdispassion,\tas though\the\twere\tan\tonlooker\tto\tthe\tlosses\tand\tfailures\tof\this\tpast\u2014without\ta\tnote","of\tregret\tor\tsadness,\tfrustration\tor\tanger\tat\tlife's\tunfairness.\tHis\town\ttragedy brought\thim\tno\tpain;\tDamasio\tfelt\tmore\tupset\tby\tElliot's\tstory\tthan\tdid\tElliot himself. The\tsource\tof\tthis\temotional\tunawareness,\tDamasio\tconcluded,\twas\tthe removal,\talong\twith\tthe\tbrain\ttumor,\tof\tpart\tof\tElliot's\tprefrontal\tlobes.\tIn\teffect, the\tsurgery\thad\tsevered\tties\tbetween\tthe\tlower\tcenters\tof\tthe\temotional\tbrain, especially\tthe\tamygdala\tand\trelated\tcircuits,\tand\tthe\tthinking\tabilities\tof\tthe neocortex.\tElliot's\tthinking\thad\tbecome\tcomputerlike,\table\tto\tmake\tevery\tstep\tin the\tcalculus\tof\ta\tdecision,\tbut\tunable\tto\tassign\tvalues\tto\tdiffering\tpossibilities. Every\toption\twas\tneutral.\tAnd\tthat\toverly\tdispassionate\treasoning,\tsuspected Damasio,\twas\tthe\tcore\tof\tElliot's\tproblem:\ttoo\tlittle\tawareness\tof\this\town feelings\tabout\tthings\tmade\tElliot's\treasoning\tfaulty. The\thandicap\tshowed\tup\teven\tin\tmundane\tdecisions.\tWhen\tDamasio\ttried\tto choose\ta\ttime\tand\tdate\tfor\tthe\tnext\tappointment\twith\tElliot,\tthe\tresult\twas\ta muddle\tof\tindecisiveness:\tElliot\tcould\tfind\targuments\tfor\tand\tagainst\tevery\tdate and\ttime\tthat\tDamasio\tproposed,\tbut\tcould\tnot\tchoose\tamong\tthem.\tAt\tthe rational\tlevel,\tthere\twere\tperfectly\tgood\treasons\tfor\tobjecting\tto\tor\taccepting virtually\tevery\tpossible\ttime\tfor\tthe\tappointment.\tBut\tElliot\tlacked\tany\tsense\tof how\the\tfelt\tabout\tany\tof\tthe\ttimes.\tLacking\tthat\tawareness\tof\this\town\tfeelings, he\thad\tno\tpreferences\tat\tall. One\tlesson\tfrom\tElliot's\tindecisiveness\tis\tthe\tcrucial\trole\tof\tfeeling\tin navigating\tthe\tendless\tstream\tof\tlife's\tpersonal\tdecisions.\tWhile\tstrong\tfeelings can\tcreate\thavoc\tin\treasoning,\tthe\tlack\tof\tawareness\tof\tfeeling\tcan\talso\tbe ruinous,\tespecially\tin\tweighing\tthe\tdecisions\ton\twhich\tour\tdestiny\tlargely depends:\twhat\tcareer\tto\tpursue,\twhether\tto\tstay\twith\ta\tsecure\tjob\tor\tswitch\tto one\tthat\tis\triskier\tbut\tmore\tinteresting,\twhom\tto\tdate\tor\tmarry,\twhere\tto\tlive, which\tapartment\tto\trent\tor\thouse\tto\tbuy\u2014and\ton\tand\ton\tthrough\tlife.\tSuch decisions\tcannot\tbe\tmade\twell\tthrough\tsheer\trationality;\tthey\trequire\tgut\tfeeling, and\tthe\temotional\twisdom\tgarnered\tthrough\tpast\texperiences.\tFormal\tlogic alone\tcan\tnever\twork\tas\tthe\tbasis\tfor\tdeciding\twhom\tto\tmarry\tor\ttrust\tor\teven what\tjob\tto\ttake;\tthese\tare\trealms\twhere\treason\twithout\tfeeling\tis\tblind. The\tintuitive\tsignals\tthat\tguide\tus\tin\tthese\tmoments\tcome\tin\tthe\tform\tof limbic-driven\tsurges\tfrom\tthe\tviscera\tthat\tDamasio\tcalls\t\\\"somatic\tmarkers\\\"\u2014 literally,\tgut\tfeelings.\tThe\tsomatic\tmarker\tis\ta\tkind\tof\tautomatic\talarm,\ttypically calling\tattention\tto\ta\tpotential\tdanger\tfrom\ta\tgiven\tcourse\tof\taction.\tMore\toften than\tnot\tthese\tmarkers\tsteer\tus\taway\tfrom\tsome\tchoice\tthat\texperience\twarns\tus against,\tthough\tthey\tcan\talso\talert\tus\tto\ta\tgolden\topportunity.\tWe\tusually\tdo\tnot,","at\tthat\tmoment,\trecall\twhat\tspecific\texperiences\tformed\tthis\tnegative\tfeeling;\tall we\tneed\tis\tthe\tsignal\tthat\ta\tgiven\tpotential\tcourse\tof\taction\tcould\tbe\tdisastrous. Whenever\tsuch\ta\tgut\tfeeling\trises\tup,\twe\tcan\timmediately\tdrop\tor\tpursue\tthat avenue\tof\tconsideration\twith\tgreater\tconfidence,\tand\tso\tpare\tdown\tour\tarray\tof choices\tto\ta\tmore\tmanageable\tdecision\tmatrix.\tThe\tkey\tto\tsounder\tpersonal decision-making,\tin\tshort:\tbeing\tattuned\tto\tour\tfeelings. PLUMBING\tTHE\tUNCONSCIOUS Elliot's\temotional\tvacuity\tsuggests\tthat\tthere\tmay\tbe\ta\tspectrum\tof\tpeople's ability\tto\tsense\ttheir\temotions\tas\tthey\thave\tthem.\tBy\tthe\tlogic\tof\tneuroscience,\tif the\tabsence\tof\ta\tneural\tcircuit\tleads\tto\ta\tdeficit\tin\tan\tability,\tthen\tthe\trelative strength\tor\tweakness\tof\tthat\tsame\tcircuit\tin\tpeople;\twhose\tbrains\tare\tintact should\tlead\tto\tcomparable\tlevels\tof\tcompetence\tin\tthat\tsame\tability.\tIn\tterms\tof the\trole\tof\tprefrontal\tcircuits\tin\temotional\tattunement,\tthis\tsuggests\tthat\tfor neurological\treasons\tsome\tof\tus\tmay\tmore\teasily\tdetect\tthe\tstirring\tof\tfear\tor\tjoy than\tdo\tothers,\tand\tso\tbe\tmore\temotionally\tself-aware. It\tmay\tbe\tthat\ta\ttalent\tfor\tpsychological\tintrospection\thinges\ton\tthis\tsame circuitry.\tSome\tof\tus\tare\tnaturally\tmore\tattuned\tto\tthe\temotional\tmind's\tspecial symbolic\tmodes:\tmetaphor\tand\tsimile,\talong\twith\tpoetry,\tsong,\tand\tfable,\tare\tall cast\tin\tthe\tlanguage\tof\tthe\theart.\tSo\ttoo\tare\tdreams\tand\tmyths,\tin\twhich\tloose associations\tdetermine\tthe\tflow\tof\tnarrative,\tabiding\tby\tthe\tlogic\tof\tthe emotional\tmind.\tThose\twho\thave\ta\tnatural\tattunement\tto\ttheir\town\theart's\tvoice \u2014the\tlanguage\tof\temotion\u2014are\tsure\tto\tbe\tmore\tadept\tat\tarticulating\tits messages,\twhether\tas\ta\tnovelist,\tsongwriter,\tor\tpsychotherapist.\tThis\tinner attunement\tshould\tmake\tthem\tmore\tgifted\tin\tgiving\tvoice\tto\tthe\t\\\"wisdom\tof\tthe unconscious\\\"\u2014the\tfelt\tmeanings\tof\tour\tdreams\tand\tfantasies,\tthe\tsymbols\tthat embody\tour\tdeepest\twishes. Self-awareness\tis\tfundamental\tto\tpsychological\tinsight;\tthis\tis\tthe\tfaculty\tthat much\tof\tpsychotherapy\tmeans\tto\tstrengthen.\tIndeed,\tHoward\tGardner's\tmodel for\tintrapsychic\tintelligence\tis\tSigmund\tFreud,\tthe\tgreat\tmapper\tof\tthe\tpsyche's secret\tdynamics.\tAs\tFreud\tmade\tclear,\tmuch\tof\temotional\tlife\tis\tunconscious; feelings\tthat\tstir\twithin\tus\tdo\tnot\talways\tcross\tthe\tthreshold\tinto\tawareness. Empirical\tverification\tof\tthis\tpsychological\taxiom\tcomes,\tfor\tinstance,\tfrom experiments\ton\tunconscious\temotions,\tsuch\tas\tthe\tremarkable\tfinding\tthat people\tform\tdefinite\tlikings\tfor\tthings\tthey\tdo\tnot\teven\trealize\tthey\thave\tseen before.\tAny\temotion\tcan\tbe\u2014and\toften\tis\u2014unconscious.","before.\tAny\temotion\tcan\tbe\u2014and\toften\tis\u2014unconscious. The\tphysiological\tbeginnings\tof\tan\temotion\ttypically\toccur\tbefore\ta\tperson\tis consciously\taware\tof\tthe\tfeeling\titself.\tFor\texample,\twhen\tpeople\twho\tfear snakes\tare\tshown\tpictures\tof\tsnakes,\tsensors\ton\ttheir\tskin\twill\tdetect\tsweat breaking\tout,\ta\tsign\tof\tanxiety,\tthough\tthey\tsay\tthey\tdo\tnot\tfeel\tany\tfear.\tThe sweat\tshows\tup\tin\tsuch\tpeople\teven\twhen\tthe\tpicture\tof\ta\tsnake\tis\tpresented\tso rapidly\tthat\tthey\thave\tno\tconscious\tidea\tof\twhat,\texactly,\tthey\tjust\tsaw,\tlet\talone that\tthey\tare\tbeginning\tto\tget\tanxious.\tAs\tsuch\tpreconscious\temotional\tstirrings continue\tto\tbuild,\tthey\teventually\tbecome\tstrong\tenough\tto\tbreak\tinto awareness.\tThus\tthere\tare\ttwo\tlevels\tof\temotion,\tconscious\tand\tunconscious. The\tmoment\tof\tan\temotion\tcoming\tinto\tawareness\tmarks\tits\tregistering\tas\tsuch in\tthe\tfrontal\tcortex.14 Emotions\tthat\tsimmer\tbeneath\tthe\tthreshold\tof\tawareness\tcan\thave\ta\tpowerful impact\ton\thow\twe\tperceive\tand\treact,\teven\tthough\twe\thave\tno\tidea\tthey\tare\tat work.\tTake\tsomeone\twho\tis\tannoyed\tby\ta\trude\tencounter\tearly\tin\tthe\tday,\tand then\tis\tpeevish\tfor\thours\tafterward,\ttaking\taffront\twhere\tnone\tis\tintended\tand snapping\tat\tpeople\tfor\tno\treal\treason.\tHe\tmay\twell\tbe\toblivious\tto\this continuing\tirritability\tand\twill\tbe\tsurprised\tif\tsomeone\tcalls\tattention\tto\tit, though\tit\tstews\tjust\tout\tof\this\tawareness\tand\tdictates\this\tcurt\treplies.\tBut\tonce that\treaction\tis\tbrought\tinto\tawareness\u2014once\tit\tregisters\tin\tthe\tcortex\u2014he\tcan evaluate\tthings\tanew,\tdecide\tto\tshrug\toff\tthe\tfeelings\tleft\tearlier\tin\tthe\tday,\tand change\this\toutlook\tand\tmood.\tIn\tthis\tway\temotional\tself-awareness\tis\tthe building\tblock\tof\tthe\tnext\tfundamental\tof\temotional\tintelligence:\tbeing\table\tto shake\toff\ta\tbad\tmood.","5 Passion's\tSlaves Thou\thas\tbeen\t.\t.\t. A\tman\tthat\tFortune's\tbuffets\tand\trewards Has\ttaken\twith\tequal\tthanks.\t...\tGive\tme\tthat\tman That\tis\tnot\tpassion's\tslave,\tand\tI\twill\twear\thim In\tmy\theart's\tcore,\taye,\tin\tmy\theart\tof\thearts As\tI\tdo\tthee..\t.. \u2014HAMLET\tTO\tHIS\tFRIEND\tHORATIO \t A\tsense\tof\tself-mastery,\tof\tbeing\table\tto\twithstand\tthe\temotional\tstorms\tthat\tthe buffeting\tof\tFortune\tbrings\trather\tthan\tbeing\t\\\"passion's\tslave,\\\"\thas\tbeen\tpraised as\ta\tvirtue\tsince\tthe\ttime\tof\tPlato.\tThe\tancient\tGreek\tword\tfor\tit\twas sophrosyne,\t\\\"care\tand\tintelligence\tin\tconducting\tone's\tlife;\ta\ttempered\tbalance and\twisdom,\\\"\tas\tPage\tDuBois,\ta\tGreek\tscholar,\ttranslates\tit.\tThe\tRomans\tand the\tearly\tChristian\tchurch\tcalled\tit\ttemperantia,\ttemperance,\tthe\trestraining\tof emotional\texcess.\tThe\tgoal\tis\tbalance,\tnot\temotional\tsuppression:\tevery\tfeeling has\tits\tvalue\tand\tsignificance.\tA\tlife\twithout\tpassion\twould\tbe\ta\tdull\twasteland of\tneutrality,\tcut\toff\tand\tisolated\tfrom\tthe\trichness\tof\tlife\titself.\tBut,\tas\tAristotle observed,\twhat\tis\twanted\tis\tappropriate\temotion,\tfeeling\tproportionate\tto circumstance.\tWhen\temotions\tare\ttoo\tmuted\tthey\tcreate\tdullness\tand\tdistance; when\tout\tof\tcontrol,\ttoo\textreme\tand\tpersistent,\tthey\tbecome\tpathological,\tas\tin immobilizing\tdepression,\toverwhelming\tanxiety,\traging\tanger,\tmanic\tagitation. Indeed,\tkeeping\tour\tdistressing\temotions\tin\tcheck\tis\tthe\tkey\tto\temotional well-being;\textremes\u2014emotions\tthat\twax\ttoo\tintensely\tor\tfor\ttoo\tlong\u2014 undermine\tour\tstability.\tOf\tcourse,\tit\tis\tnot\tthat\twe\tshould\tfeel\tonly\tone\tkind\tof emotion;\tbeing\thappy\tall\tthe\ttime\tsomehow\tsuggests\tthe\tblandness\tof\tthose smiley-face\tbadges\tthat\thad\ta\tfaddish\tmoment\tin\tthe\t1970s.\tThere\tis\tmuch\tto\tbe said\tfor\tthe\tconstructive\tcontribution\tof\tsuffering\tto\tcreative\tand\tspiritual\tlife; suffering\tcan\ttemper\tthe\tsoul.","Downs\tas\twell\tas\tups\tspice\tlife,\tbut\tneed\tto\tbe\tin\tbalance.\tIn\tthe\tcalculus\tof the\theart\tit\tis\tthe\tratio\tof\tpositive\tto\tnegative\temotions\tthat\tdetermines\tthe\tsense of\twell-being\u2014at\tleast\tthat\tis\tthe\tverdict\tfrom\tstudies\tof\tmood\tin\twhich hundreds\tof\tmen\tand\twomen\thave\tcarried\tbeepers\tthat\treminded\tthem\tat\trandom times\tto\trecord\ttheir\temotions\tat\tthat\tmoment.1\tIt\tis\tnot\tthat\tpeople\tneed\tto\tavoid unpleasant\tfeelings\tto\tfeel\tcontent,\tbut\trather\tthat\tstormy\tfeelings\tnot\tgo unchecked,\tdisplacing\tall\tpleasant\tmoods.\tPeople\twho\thave\tstrong\tepisodes\tof anger\tor\tdepression\tcan\tstill\tfeel\ta\tsense\tof\twell-being\tif\tthey\thave\ta countervailing\tset\tof\tequally\tjoyous\tor\thappy\ttimes.\tThese\tstudies\talso\taffirm the\tindependence\tof\temotional\tfrom\tacademic\tintelligence,\tfinding\tlittle\tor\tno relationship\tbetween\tgrades\tor\tIQ\tand\tpeople's\temotional\twell-being. Just\tas\tthere\tis\ta\tsteady\tmurmur\tof\tbackground\tthoughts\tin\tthe\tmind,\tthere\tis\ta constant\temotional\thum;\tbeep\tsomeone\tat\tsix\tA.M.\tor\tseven\tP.M.\tand\the\twill always\tbe\tin\tsome\tmood\tor\tother.\tOf\tcourse,\ton\tany\ttwo\tmornings\tsomeone\tcan have\tvery\tdifferent\tmoods;\tbut\twhen\tpeople's\tmoods\tare\taveraged\tover\tweeks\tor months,\tthey\ttend\tto\treflect\tthat\tperson's\toverall\tsense\tof\twell-being.\tIt\tturns\tout that\tfor\tmost\tpeople,\textremely\tintense\tfeelings\tare\trelatively\trare;\tmost\tof\tus fall\tinto\tthe\tgray\tmiddle\trange,\twith\tmild\tbumps\tin\tour\temotional\troller\tcoaster. Still,\tmanaging\tour\temotions\tis\tsomething\tof\ta\tfull-time\tjob:\tmuch\tof\twhat\twe do\u2014especially\tin\tour\tfree\ttime\u2014is\tan\tattempt\tto\tmanage\tmood.\tEverything from\treading\ta\tnovel\tor\twatching\ttelevision\tto\tthe\tactivities\tand\tcompanions\twe choose\tcan\tbe\ta\tway\tto\tmake\tourselves\tfeel\tbetter.\tThe\tart\tof\tsoothing\tourselves is\ta\tfundamental\tlife\tskill;\tsome\tpsychoanalytic\tthinkers,\tsuch\tas\tJohn\tBowlby and\tD.\tW.\tWinnicott,\tsee\tthis\tas\tone\tof\tthe\tmost\tessential\tof\tall\tpsychic\ttools. The\ttheory\tholds\tthat\temotionally\tsound\tinfants\tlearn\tto\tsoothe\tthemselves\tby treating\tthemselves\tas\ttheir\tcaretakers\thave\ttreated\tthem,\tleaving\tthem\tless vulnerable\tto\tthe\tupheavals\tof\tthe\temotional\tbrain. As\twe\thave\tseen,\tthe\tdesign\tof\tthe\tbrain\tmeans\tthat\twe\tvery\toften\thave\tlittle or\tno\tcontrol\tover\twhen\twe\tare\tswept\tby\temotion,\tnor\tover\twhat\temotion\tit\twill be.\tBut\twe\tcan\thave\tsome\tsay\tin\thow\tlong\tan\temotion\twill\tlast.\tThe\tissue\tarises not\twith\tgarden-variety\tsadness,\tworry,\tor\tanger;\tnormally\tsuch\tmoods\tpass with\ttime\tand\tpatience.\tBut\twhen\tthese\temotions\tare\tof\tgreat\tintensity\tand\tlinger past\tan\tappropriate\tpoint,\tthey\tshade\tover\tinto\ttheir\tdistressing\textremes\u2014 chronic\tanxiety,\tuncontrollable\trage,\tdepression.\tAnd,\tat\ttheir\tmost\tsevere\tand intractable,\tmedication,\tpsychotherapy,\tor\tboth\tmay\tbe\tneeded\tto\tlift\tthem. In\tthese\ttimes,\tone\tsign\tof\tthe\tcapacity\tfor\temotional\tself-regulation\tmay\tbe recognizing\twhen\tchronic\tagitation\tof\tthe\temotional\tbrain\tis\ttoo\tstrong\tto\tbe overcome\twithout\tpharmacologic\thelp.\tFor\texample,\ttwo\tthirds\tof\tthose\twho","overcome\twithout\tpharmacologic\thelp.\tFor\texample,\ttwo\tthirds\tof\tthose\twho suffer\tfrom\tmanic-depression\thave\tnever\tbeen\ttreated\tfor\tthe\tdisorder.\tBut lithium\tor\tnewer\tmedications\tcan\tthwart\tthe\tcharacteristic\tcycle\tof\tparalyzing depression\talternating\twith\tmanic\tepisodes\tthat\tmix\tchaotic\telation\tand grandiosity\twith\tirritation\tand\trage.\tOne\tproblem\twith\tmanic-depression\tis\tthat while\tpeople\tare\tin\tthe\tthroes\tof\tmania\tthey\toften\tfeel\tso\toverly\tconfident\tthat they\tsee\tno\tneed\tfor\thelp\tof\tany\tkind\tdespite\tthe\tdisastrous\tdecisions\tthey\tare making.\tIn\tsuch\tsevere\temotional\tdisorders\tpsychiatric\tmedication\toffers\ta\ttool for\tmanaging\tlife\tbetter. But\twhen\tit\tcomes\tto\tvanquishing\tthe\tmore\tusual\trange\tof\tbad\tmoods,\twe\tare left\tto\tour\town\tdevices.\tUnfortunately,\tthose\tdevices\tare\tnot\talways\teffective\u2014 at\tleast\tsuch\tis\tthe\tconclusion\treached\tby\tDiane\tTice,\ta\tpsychologist\tat\tCase Western\tReserve\tUniversity,\twho\tasked\tmore\tthan\tfour\thundred\tmen\tand women\tabout\tthe\tstrategies\tthey\tused\tto\tescape\tfoul\tmoods,\tand\thow\tsuccessful those\ttactics\twere\tfor\tthem.2 Not\teveryone\tagrees\twith\tthe\tphilosophical\tpremise\tthat\tbad\tmoods\tshould\tbe changed;\tthere\tare,\tTice\tfound,\t\\\"mood\tpurists,\\\"\tthe\t5\tpercent\tor\tso\tof\tpeople who\tsaid\tthey\tnever\ttry\tto\tchange\ta\tmood\tsince,\tin\ttheir\tview,\tall\temotions\tare \\\"natural\\\"\tand\tshould\tbe\texperienced\tjust\tas\tthey\tpresent\tthemselves,\tno\tmatter how\tdispiriting.\tAnd\tthen\tthere\twere\tthose\twho\tregularly\tsought\tto\tget\tinto unpleasant\tmoods\tfor\tpragmatic\treasons:\tphysicians\twho\tneeded\tto\tbe\tsomber\tto give\tpatients\tbad\tnews;\tsocial\tactivists\twho\tnurtured\ttheir\toutrage\tat\tinjustice\tso as\tto\tbe\tmore\teffective\tin\tbattling\tit;\teven\ta\tyoung\tman\twho\ttold\tof\tworking\tup his\tanger\tto\thelp\this\tlittle\tbrother\twith\tplayground\tbullies.\tAnd\tsome\tpeople were\tpositively\tMachiavellian\tabout\tmanipulating\tmoods\u2014witness\tthe\tbill collectors\twho\tpurposely\tworked\tthemselves\tinto\ta\trage\tin\torder\tto\tbe\tall\tthe firmer\twith\tdeadbeats.3\tBut\tthese\trare\tpurposive\tcultivations\tof\tunpleasantness aside,\tmost\teveryone\tcomplained\tof\tbeing\tat\tthe\tmercy\tof\ttheir\tmoods.\tPeople's track\trecords\tat\tshaking\tbad\tmoods\twere\tdecidedly\tmixed. THE\tANATOMY\tOF\tRAGE? Say\tsomeone\tin\tanother\tcar\tcuts\tdangerously\tclose\tto\tyou\tas\tyou\tare\tdriving\ton the\tfreeway.\tIf\tyour\treflexive\tthought\tis\t\\\"That\tson\tof\ta\tbitch!\\\"\tit\tmatters immensely\tfor\tthe\ttrajectory\tof\trage\twhether\tthat\tthought\tis\tfollowed\tby\tmore thoughts\tof\toutrage\tand\trevenge:\t\\\"He\tcould\thave\thit\tme!\tThat\tbastard\u2014I\tcan't let\thim\tget\taway\twith\tthat!\\\"\tYour\tknuckles\twhiten\tas\tyou\ttighten\tyour\thold\ton the\tsteering\twheel,\ta\tsurrogate\tfor\tstrangling\this\tthroat.\tYour\tbody\tmobilizes\tto fight,\tnot\trun\u2014leaving\tyou\ttrembling,\tbeads\tof\tsweat\ton\tyour\tforehead,\tyour","fight,\tnot\trun\u2014leaving\tyou\ttrembling,\tbeads\tof\tsweat\ton\tyour\tforehead,\tyour heart\tpounding,\tthe\tmuscles\tin\tyour\tface\tlocked\tin\ta\tscowl.\tYou\twant\tto\tkill\tthe guy.\tThen,\tshould\ta\tcar\tbehind\tyou\thonk\tbecause\tyou\thave\tslowed\tdown\tafter the\tclose\tcall,\tyou\tare\tapt\tto\texplode\tin\trage\tat\tthat\tdriver\ttoo.\tSuch\tis\tthe\tstuff of\thypertension,\treckless\tdriving,\teven\tfreeway\tshootings. Contrast\tthat\tsequence\tof\tbuilding\trage\twith\ta\tmore\tcharitable\tline\tof\tthought toward\tthe\tdriver\twho\tcut\tyou\toff:\t\\\"Maybe\the\tdidn't\tsee\tme,\tor\tmaybe\the\thad some\tgood\treason\tfor\tdriving\tso\tcarelessly,\tsuch\tas\ta\tmedical\temergency.\\\"\tThat line\tof\tpossibility\ttempers\tanger\twith\tmercy,\tor\tat\tleast\tan\topen\tmind,\tshort- circuiting\tthe\tbuildup\tof\trage.\tThe\tproblem,\tas\tAristotle's\tchallenge\tto\thave\tonly appropriate\tanger\treminds\tus,\tis\tthat\tmore\toften\tthan\tnot\tour\tanger\tsurges\tout\tof control.\tBenjamin\tFranklin\tput\tit\twell:\t\\\"Anger\tis\tnever\twithout\ta\treason,\tbut seldom\ta\tgood\tone.\\\" There\tare,\tof\tcourse,\tdifferent\tkinds\tof\tanger.\tThe\tamygdala\tmay\twell\tbe\ta main\tsource\tof\tthe\tsudden\tspark\tof\trage\twe\tfeel\tat\tthe\tdriver\twhose\tcarelessness endangers\tus.\tBut\tthe\tother\tend\tof\tthe\temotional\tcircuitry,\tthe\tneocortex,\tmost likely\tfoments\tmore\tcalculated\tangers,\tsuch\tas\tcool-headed\trevenge\tor\toutrage\tat unfairness\tor\tinjustice.\tSuch\tthoughtful\tangers\tare\tthose\tmost\tlikely,\tas\tFranklin put\tit,\tto\t\\\"have\tgood\treasons\\\"\tor\tseem\tto. Of\tall\tthe\tmoods\tthat\tpeople\twant\tto\tescape,\trage\tseems\tto\tbe\tthe\tmost intransigent;\tTice\tfound\tanger\tis\tthe\tmood\tpeople\tare\tworst\tat\tcontrolling. Indeed,\tanger\tis\tthe\tmost\tseductive\tof\tthe\tnegative\temotions;\tthe\tself-righteous inner\tmonologue\tthat\tpropels\tit\talong\tfills\tthe\tmind\twith\tthe\tmost\tconvincing arguments\tfor\tventing\trage.\tUnlike\tsadness,\tanger\tis\tenergizing,\teven exhilarating.\tAnger's\tseductive,\tpersuasive\tpower\tmay\tin\titself\texplain\twhy some\tviews\tabout\tit\tare\tso\tcommon:\tthat\tanger\tis\tuncontrollable,\tor\tthat,\tat\tany rate,\tit\tshould\tnot\tbe\tcontrolled,\tand\tthat\tventing\tanger\tin\t\\\"catharsis\\\"\tis\tall\tto\tthe good.\tA\tcontrasting\tview,\tperhaps\ta\treaction\tagainst\tthe\tbleak\tpicture\tof\tthese other\ttwo,\tholds\tthat\tanger\tcan\tbe\tprevented\tentirely.\tBut\ta\tcareful\treading\tof research\tfindings\tsuggests\tthat\tall\tthese\tcommon\tattitudes\ttoward\tanger\tare misguided,\tif\tnot\toutright\tmyths.4 The\ttrain\tof\tangry\tthoughts\tthat\tstokes\tanger\tis\talso\tpotentially\tthe\tkey\tto\tone of\tthe\tmost\tpowerful\tways\tto\tdefuse\tanger:\tundermining\tthe\tconvictions\tthat\tare fueling\tthe\tanger\tin\tthe\tfirst\tplace.\tThe\tlonger\twe\truminate\tabout\twhat\thas\tmade us\tangry,\tthe\tmore\t\\\"good\treasons\\\"\tand\tself-justifications\tfor\tbeing\tangry\twe\tcan invent.\tBrooding\tfuels\tanger's\tflames.\tBut\tseeing\tthings\tdifferently\tdouses\tthose flames.\tTice\tfound\tthat\treframing\ta\tsituation\tmore\tpositively\twas\tone\tof\tthe most\tpotent\tways\tto\tput\tanger\tto\trest.","most\tpotent\tways\tto\tput\tanger\tto\trest. The\tRage\t\\\"Rush\\\" That\tfinding\tsquares\twell\twith\tthe\tconclusions\tof\tUniversity\tof\tAlabama psychologist\tDolf\tZillmann,\twho,\tin\ta\tlengthy\tseries\tof\tcareful\texperiments,\thas taken\tprecise\tmeasure\tof\tanger\tand\tthe\tanatomy\tof\trage.5\tGiven\tthe\troots\tof anger\tin\tthe\tfight\twing\tof\tthe\tfight-or-flight\tresponse,\tit\tis\tno\tsurprise\tthat Zillmann\tfinds\tthat\ta\tuniversal\ttrigger\tfor\tanger\tis\tthe\tsense\tof\tbeing endangered.\tEndangerment\tcan\tbe\tsignaled\tnot\tjust\tby\tan\toutright\tphysical threat\tbut\talso,\tas\tis\tmore\toften\tthe\tcase,\tby\ta\tsymbolic\tthreat\tto\tself-esteem\tor dignity:\tbeing\ttreated\tunjustly\tor\trudely,\tbeing\tinsulted\tor\tdemeaned,\tbeing frustrated\tin\tpursuing\tan\timportant\tgoal.\tThese\tperceptions\tact\tas\tthe\tinstigating trigger\tfor\ta\tlimbic\tsurge\tthat\thas\ta\tdual\teffect\ton\tthe\tbrain.\tOne\tpart\tof\tthat surge\tis\ta\trelease\tof\tcatecholamines,\twhich\tgenerate\ta\tquick,\tepisodic\trush\tof energy,\tenough\tfor\t\\\"one\tcourse\tof\tvigorous\taction,\\\"\tas\tZillmann\tputs\tit,\t\\\"such\tas in\tfight\tor\tflight.\\\"\tThis\tenergy\tsurge\tlasts\tfor\tminutes,\tduring\twhich\tit\treadies\tthe body\tfor\ta\tgood\tfight\tor\ta\tquick\tflight,\tdepending\ton\thow\tthe\temotional\tbrain sizes\tup\tthe\topposition. Meanwhile,\tanother\tamygdala-driven\tripple\tthrough\tthe\tadrenocortical\tbranch of\tthe\tnervous\tsystem\tcreates\ta\tgeneral\ttonic\tbackground\tof\taction\treadiness, which\tlasts\tmuch\tlonger\tthan\tthe\tcatecholamine\tenergy\tsurge.\tThis\tgeneralized adrenal\tand\tcortical\texcitation\tcan\tlast\tfor\thours\tand\teven\tdays,\tkeeping\tthe emotional\tbrain\tin\tspecial\treadiness\tfor\tarousal,\tand\tbecoming\ta\tfoundation\ton which\tsubsequent\treactions\tcan\tbuild\twith\tparticular\tquickness.\tIn\tgeneral,\tthe hair-trigger\tcondition\tcreated\tby\tadrenocortical\tarousal\texplains\twhy\tpeople\tare so\tmuch\tmore\tprone\tto\tanger\tif\tthey\thave\talready\tbeen\tprovoked\tor\tslightly irritated\tby\tsomething\telse.\tStress\tof\tall\tsorts\tcreates\tadrenocortical\tarousal, lowering\tthe\tthreshold\tfor\twhat\tprovokes\tanger.\tThus\tsomeone\twho\thas\thad\ta hard\tday\tat\twork\tis\tespecially\tvulnerable\tto\tbecoming\tenraged\tlater\tat\thome\tby something\u2014the\tkids\tbeing\ttoo\tnoisy\tor\tmessy,\tsay\u2014that\tunder\tother circumstances\twould\tnot\tbe\tpowerful\tenough\tto\ttrigger\tan\temotional\thijacking. Zillmann\tcomes\tto\tthese\tinsights\ton\tanger\tthrough\tcareful\texperimentation.\tIn a\ttypical\tstudy,\tfor\texample,\the\thad\ta\tconfederate\tprovoke\tmen\tand\twomen\twho had\tvolunteered\tby\tmaking\tsnide\tremarks\tabout\tthem.\tThe\tvolunteers\tthen watched\ta\tpleasant\tor\tupsetting\tfilm.\tLater\tthe\tvolunteers\twere\tgiven\tthe\tchance to\tretaliate\tagainst\tthe\tconfederate\tby\tgiving\tan\tevaluation\tthey\tthought\twould be\tused\tin\ta\tdecision\twhether\tor\tnot\tto\thire\thim.\tThe\tintensity\tof\ttheir\tretaliation was\tdirectly\tproportional\tto\thow\taroused\tthey\thad\tgotten\tfrom\tthe\tfilm\tthey\thad","was\tdirectly\tproportional\tto\thow\taroused\tthey\thad\tgotten\tfrom\tthe\tfilm\tthey\thad just\twatched;\tthey\twere\tangrier\tafter\tseeing\tthe\tunpleasant\tfilm,\tand\tgave\tthe worst\tratings.","Anger\tBuilds\ton\tAnger Zillmann's\tstudies\tseem\tto\texplain\tthe\tdynamic\tat\twork\tin\ta\tfamiliar\tdomestic drama\tI\twitnessed\tone\tday\twhile\tshopping.\tDown\tthe\tsupermarket\taisle\tdrifted the\temphatic,\tmeasured\ttones\tof\ta\tyoung\tmother\tto\ther\tson,\tabout\tthree:\t\\\"Put\t... it\t...\tback!\\\" \\\"But\tI\twant\tit!\\\"\the\twhined,\tclinging\tmore\ttightly\tto\ta\tNinja\tTurtles\tcereal\tbox. \\\"Put\tit\tback!\\\"\tLouder,\ther\tanger\ttaking\tover. At\tthat\tmoment\tthe\tbaby\tin\ther\tshopping\tcart\tseat\tdropped\tthe\tjar\tof\tjelly\tshe had\tbeen\tmouthing.\tWhen\tit\tshattered\ton\tthe\tfloor\tthe\tmother\tyelled,\t\\\"That's\tit!\\\" and,\tin\ta\tfury,\tslapped\tthe\tbaby,\tgrabbed\tthe\tthree-year-old's\tbox\tand\tslammed\tit onto\tthe\tnearest\tshelf,\tscooped\thim\tup\tby\tthe\twaist,\tand\trushed\tdown\tthe\taisle, the\tshopping\tcart\tcareening\tperilously\tin\tfront,\tthe\tbaby\tnow\tcrying,\ther\tson,\this legs\tdangling,\tprotesting,\t\\\"Put\tme\tdown,\tput\tme\tdown!\\\" Zillmann\thas\tfound\tthat\twhen\tthe\tbody\tis\talready\tin\ta\tstate\tof\tedginess,\tlike the\tmother's,\tand\tsomething\ttriggers\tan\temotional\thijacking,\tthe\tsubsequent emotion,\twhether\tanger\tor\tanxiety,\tis\tof\tespecially\tgreat\tintensity.\tThis\tdynamic is\tat\twork\twhen\tsomeone\tbecomes\tenraged.\tZillmann\tsees\tescalating\tanger\tas\t\\\"a sequence\tof\tprovocations,\teach\ttriggering\tan\texcitatory\treaction\tthat\tdissipates slowly.\\\"\tIn\tthis\tsequence\tevery\tsuccessive\tanger-provoking\tthought\tor perception\tbecomes\ta\tminitrigger\tfor\tamygdala-driven\tsurges\tof\tcatecholamines, each\tbuilding\ton\tthe\thormonal\tmomentum\tof\tthose\tthat\twent\tbefore.\tA\tsecond comes\tbefore\tthe\tfirst\thas\tsubsided,\tand\ta\tthird\ton\ttop\tof\tthose,\tand\tso\ton;\teach wave\trides\tthe\ttails\tof\tthose\tbefore,\tquickly\tescalating\tthe\tbody's\tlevel\tof physiological\tarousal.\tA\tthought\tthat\tcomes\tlater\tin\tthis\tbuildup\ttriggers\ta\tfar greater\tintensity\tof\tanger\tthan\tone\tthat\tcomes\tat\tthe\tbeginning.\tAnger\tbuilds\ton anger;\tthe\temotional\tbrain\theats\tup.\tBy\tthen\trage,\tunhampered\tby\treason,\teasily erupts\tin\tviolence. At\tthis\tpoint\tpeople\tare\tunforgiving\tand\tbeyond\tbeing\treasoned\twith;\ttheir thoughts\trevolve\taround\trevenge\tand\treprisal,\toblivious\tto\twhat\tthe consequences\tmay\tbe.\tThis\thigh\tlevel\tof\texcitation,\tZillmann\tsays,\t\\\"fosters\tan illusion\tof\tpower\tand\tinvulnerability\tthat\tmay\tinspire\tand\tfacilitate\taggression\\\" as\tthe\tenraged\tperson,\t\\\"failing\tcognitive\tguidance,\\\"\tfalls\tback\ton\tthe\tmost primitive\tof\tresponses.\tThe\tlimbic\turge\tis\tascendant;\tthe\trawest\tlessons\tof\tlife's brutality\tbecome\tguides\tto\taction.","Balm\tfor\tAnger Given\tthis\tanalysis\tof\tthe\tanatomy\tof\trage,\tZillmann\tsees\ttwo\tmain\tways\tof intervening.\tOne\tway\tof\tdefusing\tanger\tis\tto\tseize\ton\tand\tchallenge\tthe\tthoughts that\ttrigger\tthe\tsurges\tof\tanger,\tsince\tit\tis\tthe\toriginal\tappraisal\tof\tan\tinteraction that\tconfirms\tand\tencourages\tthe\tfirst\tburst\tof\tanger,\tand\tthe\tsubsequent reappraisals\tthat\tfan\tthe\tflames.\tTiming\tmatters;\tthe\tearlier\tin\tthe\tanger\tcycle\tthe more\teffective.\tIndeed,\tanger\tcan\tbe\tcompletely\tshort-circuited\tif\tthe\tmitigating information\tcomes\tbefore\tthe\tanger\tis\tacted\ton. The\tpower\tof\tunderstanding\tto\tdeflate\tanger\tis\tclear\tfrom\tanother\tof Zillmann's\texperiments,\tin\twhich\ta\trude\tassistant\t(a\tconfederate)\tinsulted\tand provoked\tvolunteers\twho\twere\triding\tan\texercise\tbike.\tWhen\tthe\tvolunteers were\tgiven\tthe\tchance\tto\tretaliate\tagainst\tthe\trude\texperimenter\t(again,\tby giving\ta\tbad\tevaluation\tthey\tthought\twould\tbe\tused\tin\tweighing\this\tcandidacy for\ta\tjob)\tthey\tdid\tso\twith\tan\tangry\tglee.\tBut\tin\tone\tversion\tof\tthe\texperiment another\tconfederate\tentered\tafter\tthe\tvolunteers\thad\tbeen\tprovoked,\tand\tjust before\tthe\tchance\tto\tretaliate;\tshe\ttold\tthe\tprovocative\texperimenter\the\thad\ta phone\tcall\tdown\tthe\thall.\tAs\the\tleft\the\tmade\ta\tsnide\tremark\tto\ther\ttoo.\tBut\tshe took\tit\tin\tgood\tspirits,\texplaining\tafter\the\tleft\tthat\the\twas\tunder\tterrible pressures,\tupset\tabout\this\tupcoming\tgraduate\torals.\tAfter\tthat\tthe\tirate volunteers,\twhen\toffered\tthe\tchance\tto\tretaliate\tagainst\tthe\trude\tfellow,\tchose not\tto;\tinstead\tthey\texpressed\tcompassion\tfor\this\tplight. Such\tmitigating\tinformation\tallows\ta\treappraisal\tof\tthe\tanger-provoking events.\tBut\tthere\tis\ta\tspecific\twindow\tof\topportunity\tfor\tthis\tde-escalation. Zillmann\tfinds\tit\tworks\twell\tat\tmoderate\tlevels\tof\tanger;\tat\thigh\tlevels\tof\trage\tit makes\tno\tdifference\tbecause\tof\twhat\the\tcalls\t\\\"cognitive\tincapacitation\\\"\u2014in other\twords,\tpeople\tcan\tno\tlonger\tthink\tstraight.\tWhen\tpeople\twere\talready highly\tenraged,\tthey\tdismissed\tthe\tmitigating\tinformation\twith\t\\\"That's\tjust\ttoo bad!\\\"\tor\t\\\"the\tstrongest\tvulgarities\tthe\tEnglish\tlanguage\thas\tto\toffer,\\\"\tas Zillmann\tput\tit\twith\tdelicacy.","Cooling\tDown Once\twhen\tI\twas\tabout\t13,\tin\tan\tangry\tfit,\tI\twalked\tout\tof\tthe\thouse\tvowing I\twould\tnever\treturn.\tIt\twas\ta\tbeautiful\tsummer\tday,\tand\tI\twalked\tfar\talong lovely\tlanes,\ttill\tgradually\tthe\tstillness\tand\tbeauty\tcalmed\tand\tsoothed\tme, and\tafter\tsome\thours\tI\treturned\trepentant\tand\talmost\tmelted.\tSince\tthen when\tI\tam\tangry,\tI\tdo\tthis\tif\tI\tcan,\tand\tfind\tit\tthe\tbest\tcure. \t The\taccount\tis\tby\ta\tsubject\tin\tone\tof\tthe\tvery\tfirst\tscientific\tstudies\tof\tanger, done\tin\t1899.6\tIt\tstill\tstands\tas\ta\tmodel\tof\tthe\tsecond\tway\tof\tde-escalating anger:\tcooling\toff\tphysiologically\tby\twaiting\tout\tthe\tadrenal\tsurge\tin\ta\tsetting where\tthere\tare\tnot\tlikely\tto\tbe\tfurther\ttriggers\tfor\trage.\tIn\tan\targument,\tfor instance,\tthat\tmeans\tgetting\taway\tfrom\tthe\tother\tperson\tfor\tthe\ttime\tbeing. During\tthe\tcooling-off\tperiod,\tthe\tangered\tperson\tcan\tput\tthe\tbrakes\ton\tthe\tcycle of\tescalating\thostile\tthought\tby\tseeking\tout\tdistractions.\tDistraction,\tZillmann finds,\tis\ta\thighly\tpowerful\tmood-altering\tdevice,\tfor\ta\tsimple\treason:\tIt's\thard\tto stay\tangry\twhen\twe're\thaving\ta\tpleasant\ttime.\tThe\ttrick,\tof\tcourse,\tis\tto\tget anger\tto\tcool\tto\tthe\tpoint\twhere\tsomeone\tcan\thave\ta\tpleasant\ttime\tin\tthe\tfirst place. Zillmann's\tanalysis\tof\tthe\tways\tanger\tescalates\tand\tde-escalates\texplains many\tof\tDiane\tTice's\tfindings\tabout\tthe\tstrategies\tpeople\tcommonly\tsay\tthey use\tto\tease\tanger.\tOne\tsuch\tfairly\teffective\tstrategy\tis\tgoing\toff\tto\tbe\talone while\tcooling\tdown.\tA\tlarge\tproportion\tof\tmen\ttranslate\tthis\tinto\tgoing\tfor\ta drive\u2014a\tfinding\tthat\tgives\tone\tpause\twhen\tdriving\t(and,\tTice\ttold\tme,\tinspired her\tto\tdrive\tmore\tdefensively).\tPerhaps\ta\tsafer\talternative\tis\tgoing\tfor\ta\tlong walk;\tactive\texercise\talso\thelps\twith\tanger.\tSo\tdo\trelaxation\tmethods\tsuch\tas deep\tbreathing\tand\tmuscle\trelaxation,\tperhaps\tbecause\tthey\tchange\tthe\tbody's physiology\tfrom\tthe\thigh\tarousal\tof\tanger\tto\ta\tlow-arousal\tstate,\tand\tperhaps\ttoo because\tthey\tdistract\tfrom\twhatever\ttriggered\tthe\tanger.\tActive\texercise\tmay cool\tanger\tfor\tsomething\tof\tthe\tsame\treason:\tafter\thigh\tlevels\tof\tphysiological activation\tduring\tthe\texercise,\tthe\tbody\trebounds\tto\ta\tlow\tlevel\tonce\tit\tstops. But\ta\tcooling-down\tperiod\twill\tnot\twork\tif\tthat\ttime\tis\tused\tto\tpursue\tthe\ttrain of\tanger-inducing\tthought,\tsince\teach\tsuch\tthought\tis\tin\titself\ta\tminor\ttrigger\tfor more\tcascades\tof\tanger.\tThe\tpower\tof\tdistraction\tis\tthat\tit\tstops\tthat\tangry\ttrain of\tthought.\tIn\ther\tsurvey\tof\tpeople's\tstrategies\tfor\thandling\tanger,\tTice\tfound that\tdistractions\tby\tand\tlarge\thelp\tcalm\tanger:\tTV,\tmovies,\treading,\tand\tthe\tlike","that\tdistractions\tby\tand\tlarge\thelp\tcalm\tanger:\tTV,\tmovies,\treading,\tand\tthe\tlike all\tinterfere\twith\tthe\tangry\tthoughts\tthat\tstoke\trage.\tBut,\tTice\tfound,\tindulging in\ttreats\tsuch\tas\tshopping\tfor\toneself\tand\teating\tdo\tnot\thave\tmuch\teffect;\tit\tis\tall too\teasy\tto\tcontinue\twith\tan\tindignant\ttrain\tof\tthought\twhile\tcruising\ta\tshopping mall\tor\tdevouring\ta\tpiece\tof\tchocolate\tcake. To\tthese\tstrategies\tadd\tthose\tdeveloped\tby\tRedford\tWilliams,\ta\tpsychiatrist\tat Duke\tUniversity\twho\tsought\tto\thelp\thostile\tpeople,\twho\tare\tat\thigher\trisk\tfor heart\tdisease,\tto\tcontrol\ttheir\tirritability.7\tOne\tof\this\trecommendations\tis\tto\tuse self-awareness\tto\tcatch\tcynical\tor\thostile\tthoughts\tas\tthey\tarise,\tand\twrite\tthem down.\tOnce\tangry\tthoughts\tare\tcaptured\tthis\tway,\tthey\tcan\tbe\tchallenged\tand reappraised,\tthough,\tas\tZillmann\tfound,\tthis\tapproach\tworks\tbetter\tbefore\tanger has\tescalated\tto\trage.","The\tVentilation\tFallacy As\tI\tsettle\tinto\ta\tNew\tYork\tCity\tcab,\ta\tyoung\tman\tcrossing\tthe\tstreet\tstops\tin front\tof\tthe\tcab\tto\twait\tfor\ttraffic\tto\tclear.\tThe\tdriver,\timpatient\tto\tstart,\thonks, motioning\tfor\tthe\tyoung\tman\tto\tmove\tout\tof\tthe\tway.\tThe\treply\tis\ta\tscowl\tand an\tobscene\tgesture. \\\"You\tson\tof\ta\tbitch!\\\"\tthe\tdriver\tyells,\tmaking\tthreatening\tlunges\twith\tthe\tcab by\thitting\tthe\taccelerator\tand\tbrake\tat\tthe\tsame\ttime.\tAt\tthis\tlethal\tthreat,\tthe young\tman\tsullenly\tmoves\taside,\tbarely,\tand\tsmacks\this\tfist\tagainst\tthe\tcab\tas\tit inches\tby\tinto\ttraffic.\tAt\tthis,\tthe\tdriver\tshouts\ta\tfoul\tlitany\tof\texpletives\tat\tthe man. As\twe\tmove\talong\tthe\tdriver,\tstill\tvisibly\tagitated,\ttells\tme,\t\\\"You\tcan't\ttake any\tshit\tfrom\tanyone.\tYou\tgotta\tyell\tback\u2014at\tleast\tit\tmakes\tyou\tfeel\tbetter!\\\" Catharsis\u2014giving\tvent\tto\trage\u2014is\tsometimes\textolled\tas\ta\tway\tof\thandling anger.\tThe\tpopular\ttheory\tholds\tthat\t\\\"it\tmakes\tyou\tfeel\tbetter.\\\"\tBut,\tas Zillmann's\tfindings\tsuggest,\tthere\tis\tan\targument\tagainst\tcatharsis.\tIt\thas\tbeen made\tsince\tthe\t1950s,\twhen\tpsychologists\tstarted\tto\ttest\tthe\teffects\tof\tcatharsis experimentally\tand,\ttime\tafter\ttime,\tfound\tthat\tgiving\tvent\tto\tanger\tdid\tlittle\tor nothing\tto\tdispel\tit\t(though,\tbecause\tof\tthe\tseductive\tnature\tof\tanger,\tit\tmay\tfeel satisfying).8\tThere\tmay\tbe\tsome\tspecific\tconditions\tunder\twhich\tlashing\tout\tin anger\tdoes\twork:\twhen\tit\tis\texpressed\tdirectly\tto\tthe\tperson\twho\tis\tits\ttarget, when\tit\trestores\ta\tsense\tof\tcontrol\tor\trights\tan\tinjustice,\tor\twhen\tit\tinflicts \\\"appropriate\tharm\\\"\ton\tthe\tother\tperson\tand\tgets\thim\tto\tchange\tsome\tgrievous activity\twithout\tretaliating.\tBut\tbecause\tof\tthe\tincendiary\tnature\tof\tanger,\tthis may\tbe\teasier\tto\tsay\tthan\tto\tdo.9 Tice\tfound\tthat\tventilating\tanger\tis\tone\tof\tthe\tworst\tways\tto\tcool\tdown: outbursts\tof\trage\ttypically\tpump\tup\tthe\temotional\tbrain's\tarousal,\tleaving\tpeople feeling\tmore\tangry,\tnot\tless.\tTice\tfound\tthat\twhen\tpeople\ttold\tof\ttimes\tthey\thad taken\ttheir\trage\tout\ton\tthe\tperson\twho\tprovoked\tit,\tthe\tnet\teffect\twas\tto\tprolong the\tmood\trather\tthan\tend\tit.\tFar\tmore\teffective\twas\twhen\tpeople\tfirst\tcooled down,\tand\tthen,\tin\ta\tmore\tconstructive\tor\tassertive\tmanner,\tconfronted\tthe person\tto\tsettle\ttheir\tdispute.\tAs\tI\tonce\theard\tChogyam\tTrungpa,\ta\tTibetan teacher,\treply\twhen\tasked\thow\tbest\tto\thandle\tanger:\t\\\"Don't\tsuppress\tit.\tBut\tdon't act\ton\tit.\\\" SOOTHING\tANXIETY:\tWHAT,\tME\tWORRY? Oh,\tno!\tThe\tmuffler\tsounds\tbad.\t.\t.\t.\tWhat\tif\tI\thave\tto\ttake\tit\tto\tthe\tshop?...\tI","Oh,\tno!\tThe\tmuffler\tsounds\tbad.\t.\t.\t.\tWhat\tif\tI\thave\tto\ttake\tit\tto\tthe\tshop?...\tI can't\tafford\tthe\texpense....\tI'd\thave\tto\tdraw\tthe\tmoney\tfrom\tJamie's\tcollege fund..\tWhat\tif\tI\tcan't\tafford\this\ttuition?...\tThat\tbad\tschool\treport\tlast\tweek.... What\tif\this\tgrades\tgo\tdown\tand\the\tcan't\tget\tinto\tcollege?...\tMuffler\tsounds bad.\t.\t.\t. \t And\tso\tthe\tworrying\tmind\tspins\ton\tin\tan\tendless\tloop\tof\tlow-grade melodrama,\tone\tset\tof\tconcerns\tleading\ton\tto\tthe\tnext\tand\tback\tagain.\tThe above\tspecimen\tis\toffered\tby\tLizabeth\tRoemer\tand\tThomas\tBorkovec, Pennsylvania\tState\tUniversity\tpsychologists,\twhose\tresearch\ton\tworrying\u2014the heart\tof\tall\tanxiety\u2014has\traised\tthe\ttopic\tfrom\tneurotic's\tart\tto\tscience.10\tThere is,\tof\tcourse,\tno\thitch\twhen\tworry\tworks;\tby\tmulling\tover\ta\tproblem\u2014that\tis, employing\tconstructive\treflection,\twhich\tcan\tlook\tlike\tworrying\u2014a\tsolution\tcan appear.\tIndeed,\tthe\treaction\tthat\tunderlies\tworry\tis\tthe\tvigilance\tfor\tpotential danger\tthat\thas,\tno\tdoubt,\tbeen\tessential\tfor\tsurvival\tover\tthe\tcourse\tof evolution.\tWhen\tfear\ttriggers\tthe\temotional\tbrain,\tpart\tof\tthe\tresulting\tanxiety fixates\tattention\ton\tthe\tthreat\tat\thand,\tforcing\tthe\tmind\tto\tobsess\tabout\thow\tto handle\tit\tand\tignore\tanything\telse\tfor\tthe\ttime\tbeing.\tWorry\tis,\tin\ta\tsense,\ta rehearsal\tof\twhat\tmight\tgo\twrong\tand\thow\tto\tdeal\twith\tit;\tthe\ttask\tof\tworrying\tis to\tcome\tup\twith\tpositive\tsolutions\tfor\tlife's\tperils\tby\tanticipating\tdangers\tbefore they\tarise. The\tdifficulty\tis\twith\tchronic,\trepetitive\tworries,\tthe\tkind\tthat\trecycle\ton\tand on\tand\tnever\tget\tany\tnearer\ta\tpositive\tsolution.\tA\tclose\tanalysis\tof\tchronic worry\tsuggests\tthat\tit\thas\tall\tthe\tattributes\tof\ta\tlow-grade\temotional\thijacking: the\tworries\tseem\tto\tcome\tfrom\tnowhere,\tare\tuncontrollable,\tgenerate\ta\tsteady hum\tof\tanxiety,\tare\timpervious\tto\treason,\tand\tlock\tthe\tworrier\tinto\ta\tsingle, inflexible\tview\tof\tthe\tworrisome\ttopic.\tWhen\tthis\tsame\tcycle\tof\tworry intensifies\tand\tpersists,\tit\tshades\tover\tthe\tline\tinto\tfull-blown\tneural\thijackings, the\tanxiety\tdisorders:\tphobias,\tobsessions\tand\tcompulsions,\tpanic\tattacks.\tIn each\tof\tthese\tdisorders\tworry\tfixates\tin\ta\tdistinct\tfashion;\tfor\tthe\tphobic, anxieties\trivet\ton\tthe\tfeared\tsituation;\tfor\tthe\tobsessive,\tthey\tfixate\ton preventing\tsome\tfeared\tcalamity;\tin\tpanic\tattacks,\tthe\tworries\tcan\tfocus\ton\ta fear\tof\tdying\tor\ton\tthe\tprospect\tof\thaving\tthe\tattack\titself. In\tall\tthese\tconditions\tthe\tcommon\tdenominator\tis\tworry\trun\tamok.\tFor example,\ta\twoman\tbeing\ttreated\tfor\tobsessive-compulsive\tdisorder\thad\ta\tseries of\trituals\tthat\ttook\tmost\tof\ther\twaking\thours:\tforty-five-minute\tshowers\tseveral","times\tdaily,\twashing\ther\thands\tfor\tfive\tminutes\ttwenty\tor\tmore\ttimes\ta\tday.\tShe would\tnot\tsit\tdown\tunless\tshe\tfirst\tswabbed\tthe\tseat\twith\trubbing\talcohol\tto sterilize\tit.\tNor\twould\tshe\ttouch\ta\tchild\tor\tan\tanimal\u2014both\twere\t\\\"too\tdirty.\\\"\tAll these\tcompulsions\twere\tstirred\tby\ther\tunderlying\tmorbid\tfear\tof\tgerms;\tshe worried\tconstantly\tthat\twithout\ther\twashing\tand\tsterilizing\tshe\twould\tcatch\ta disease\tand\tdie.11 A\twoman\tbeing\ttreated\tfor\t\\\"generalized\tanxiety\tdisorder\\\"\u2014the\tpsychiatric nomenclature\tfor\tbeing\ta\tconstant\tworrier\u2014responded\tto\tthe\trequest\tto\tworry aloud\tfor\tone\tminute\tthis\tway: \t I\tmight\tnot\tdo\tthis\tright.\tThis\tmay\tbe\tso\tartificial\tthat\tit\twon't\tbe\tan indication\tof\tthe\treal\tthing\tand\twe\tneed\tto\tget\tat\tthe\treal\tthing.\t.\t.\t.\tBecause if\twe\tdon't\tget\tat\tthe\treal\tthing,\tI\twon't\tget\twell.\tAnd\tif\tI\tdon't\tget\twell\tI'll never\tbe\thappy.\t12 \t In\tthis\tvirtuoso\tdisplay\tof\tworrying\tabout\tworrying,\tthe\tvery\trequest\tto\tworry for\tone\tminute\thad,\twithin\ta\tfew\tshort\tseconds,\tescalated\tto\tcontemplation\tof\ta lifelong\tcatastrophe:\t\\\"I'll\tnever\tbe\thappy.\\\"\tWorries\ttypically\tfollow\tsuch\tlines,\ta narrative\tto\toneself\tthat\tjumps\tfrom\tconcern\tto\tconcern\tand\tmore\toften\tthan\tnot includes\tcatastrophizing,\timagining\tsome\tterrible\ttragedy.\tWorries\tare\talmost always\texpressed\tin\tthe\tmind's\tear,\tnot\tits\teye\u2014that\tis,\tin\twords,\tnot\timages\u2014a fact\tthat\thas\tsignificance\tfor\tcontrolling\tworry. Borkovec\tand\this\tcolleagues\tbegan\tto\tstudy\tworrying\tper\tse\twhen\tthey\twere trying\tto\tcome\tup\twith\ta\ttreatment\tfor\tinsomnia.\tAnxiety,\tother\tresearchers\thave observed,\tcomes\tin\ttwo\tforms:\tcognitive,\tor\tworrisome\tthoughts,\tand\tsomatic, the\tphysiological\tsymptoms\tof\tanxiety,\tsuch\tas\tsweating,\ta\tracing\theart,\tor muscle\ttension.\tThe\tmain\ttrouble\twith\tinsomniacs,\tBorkovec\tfound,\twas\tnot\tthe somatic\tarousal.\tWhat\tkept\tthem\tup\twere\tintrusive\tthoughts.\tThey\twere\tchronic worriers,\tand\tcould\tnot\tstop\tworrying,\tno\tmatter\thow\tsleepy\tthey\twere.\tThe\tone thing\tthat\tworked\tin\thelping\tthem\tget\tto\tsleep\twas\tgetting\ttheir\tminds\toff\ttheir worries,\tfocusing\tinstead\ton\tthe\tsensations\tproduced\tby\ta\trelaxation\tmethod.\tIn short,\tthe\tworries\tcould\tbe\tstopped\tby\tshifting\tattention\taway. Most\tworriers,\thowever,\tcan't\tseem\tto\tdo\tthis.\tThe\treason,\tBorkovec\tbelieves, has\tto\tdo\twith\ta\tpartial\tpayoff\tfrom\tworrying\tthat\tis\thighly\treinforcing\tto\tthe habit.\tThere\tis,\tit\tseems,\tsomething\tpositive\tin\tworries:\tworries\tare\tways\tto\tdeal","habit.\tThere\tis,\tit\tseems,\tsomething\tpositive\tin\tworries:\tworries\tare\tways\tto\tdeal with\tpotential\tthreats,\twith\tclangers\tthat\tmay\tcome\tone's\tway.\tThe\twork\tof worrying\u2014when\tit\tsucceeds\u2014is\tto\trehearse\twhat\tthose\tdangers\tare,\tand\tto reflect\ton\tways\tto\tdeal\twith\tthem.\tBut\tworry\tdoesn't\twork\tall\tthat\twell.\tNew solutions\tand\tfresh\tways\tof\tseeing\ta\tproblem\tdo\tnot\ttypically\tcome\tfrom worrying,\tespecially\tchronic\tworry.\tInstead\tof\tcoming\tup\twith\tsolutions\tto\tthese potential\tproblems,\tworriers\ttypically\tsimply\truminate\ton\tthe\tdanger\titself, immersing\tthemselves\tin\ta\tlow-key\tway\tin\tthe\tdread\tassociated\twith\tit\twhile staying\tin\tthe\tsame\trut\tof\tthought.\tChronic\tworriers\tworry\tabout\ta\twide\trange\tof things,\tmost\tof\twhich\thave\talmost\tno\tchance\tof\thappening;\tthey\tread\tdangers into\tlife's\tjourney\tthat\tothers\tnever\tnotice. Yet\tchronic\tworriers\ttell\tBorkovec\tthat\tworrying\thelps\tthem,\tand\tthat\ttheir worries\tare\tself-perpetuating,\tan\tendless\tloop\tof\tangst-ridden\tthought.\tWhy should\tworry\tbecome\twhat\tseems\tto\tamount\tto\ta\tmental\taddiction?\tOddly,\tas Borkovec\tpoints\tout,\tthe\tworry\thabit\tis\treinforcing\tin\tthe\tsame\tsense\tthat superstitions\tare.\tSince\tpeople\tworry\tabout\tmany\tthings\tthat\thave\ta\tvery\tlow probability\tof\tactually\toccurring\u2014a\tloved\tone\tdying\tin\ta\tplane\tcrash,\tgoing bankrupt,\tand\tthe\tlike\u2014there\tis,\tto\tthe\tprimitive\tlimbic\tbrain\tat\tleast,\tsomething magical\tabout\tit.\tLike\tan\tamulet\tthat\twards\toff\tsome\tanticipated\tevil,\tthe\tworry psychologically\tgets\tthe\tcredit\tfor\tpreventing\tthe\tdanger\tit\tobsesses\tabout.","The\tWork\tof\tWorrying She\thad\tmoved\tto\tLos\tAngeles\tfrom\tthe\tMidwest,\tlured\tby\ta\tjob\twith\ta publisher.\tBut\tthe\tpublisher\twas\tbought\tby\tanother\tsoon\tafter,\tand\tshe\twas left\twithout\ta\tjob.\tTurning\tto\tfreelance\twriting,\tan\terratic\tmarketplace,\tshe found\therself\teither\tswamped\twith\twork\tor\tunable\tto\tpay\ther\trent.\tShe\toften had\tto\tration\tphone\tcalls,\tand\tfor\tthe\tfirst\ttime\twas\twithout\thealth\tinsurance. This\tlack\tof\tcoverage\twas\tparticularly\tdistressing:\tshe\tfound\therself catastrophizing\tabout\ther\thealth,\tsure\tevery\theadache\tsignaled\ta\tbrain\ttumor, picturing\therself\tin\tan\taccident\twhenever\tshe\thad\tto\tdrive\tsomewhere.\tShe often\tfound\therself\tlost\tin\ta\tlong\treverie\tof\tworry,\ta\tmedley\tof\tdistress.\tBut, she\tsaid,\tshe\tfound\ther\tworries\talmost\taddictive. Borkovec\tdiscovered\tanother\tunexpected\tbenefit\tto\tworrying.\tWhile\tpeople are\timmersed\tin\ttheir\tworried\tthoughts,\tthey\tdo\tnot\tseem\tto\tnotice\tthe\tsubjective sensations\tof\tthe\tanxiety\tthose\tworries\tstir\u2014the\tspeedy\theartbeat,\tthe\tbeads\tof sweat,\tthe\tshakiness\u2014and\tas\tthe\tworry\tproceeds\tit\tactually\tseems\tto\tsuppress some\tof\tthat\tanxiety,\tat\tleast\tas\treflected\tin\theart\trate.\tThe\tsequence\tpresumably goes\tsomething\tlike\tthis:\tThe\tworrier\tnotices\tsomething\tthat\ttriggers\tthe\timage of\tsome\tpotential\tthreat\tor\tdanger;\tthat\timagined\tcatastrophe\tin\tturn\ttriggers\ta mild\tattack\tof\tanxiety.\tThe\tworrier\tthen\tplunges\tinto\ta\tlong\tseries\tof\tdistressed thoughts,\teach\tof\twhich\tprimes\tyet\tanother\ttopic\tfor\tworry;\tas\tattention continues\tto\tbe\tcarried\talong\tby\tthis\ttrain\tof\tworry,\tfocusing\ton\tthese\tvery thoughts\ttakes\tthe\tmind\toff\tthe\toriginal\tcatastrophic\timage\tthat\ttriggered\tthe anxiety.\tImages,\tBorkovec\tfound,\tare\tmore\tpowerful\ttriggers\tfor\tphysiological anxiety\tthan\tare\tthoughts,\tso\timmersion\tin\tthoughts,\tto\tthe\texclusion\tof catastrophic\timages,\tpartially\talleviates\tthe\texperience\tof\tbeing\tanxious.\tAnd,\tto that\textent,\tthe\tworry\tis\talso\treinforced,\tas\ta\thalfway\tantidote\tto\tthe\tvery\tanxiety it\tevoked. But\tchronic\tworries\tare\tself-defeating\ttoo\tin\tthat\tthey\ttake\tthe\tform\tof stereotyped,\trigid\tideas,\tnot\tcreative\tbreakthroughs\tthat\tactually\tmove\ttoward solving\tthe\tproblem.\tThis\trigidity\tshows\tup\tnot\tjust\tin\tthe\tmanifest\tcontent\tof worried\tthought,\twhich\tsimply\trepeats\tmore\tor\tless\tthe\tsame\tideas\tover\tand over.\tBut\tat\ta\tneurological\tlevel\tthere\tseems\tto\tbe\ta\tcortical\trigidity,\ta\tdeficit\tin the\temotional\tbrain's\tability\tto\trespond\tflexibly\tto\tchanging\tcircumstance.\tIn short,\tchronic\tworry\tworks\tin\tsome\tways,\tbut\tnot\tin\tother,\tmore\tconsequential ones:\tit\teases\tsome\tanxiety,\tbut\tnever\tsolves\tthe\tproblem. The\tone\tthing\tthat\tchronic\tworriers\tcannot\tdo\tis\tfollow\tthe\tadvice\tthey\tare","The\tone\tthing\tthat\tchronic\tworriers\tcannot\tdo\tis\tfollow\tthe\tadvice\tthey\tare most\toften\tgiven:\t\\\"Just\tstop\tworrying\\\"\t(or,\tworse,\t\\\"Don't\tworry\u2014be\thappy\\\"). Since\tchronic\tworries\tseem\tto\tbe\tlow-grade\tamygdala\tepisodes,\tthey\tcome unbidden.\tAnd,\tby\ttheir\tvery\tnature,\tthey\tpersist\tonce\tthey\tarise\tin\tthe\tmind.\tBut after\tmuch\texperimentation,\tBorkovec\tdiscovered\tsome\tsimple\tsteps\tthat\tcan help\teven\tthe\tmost\tchronic\tworrier\tcontrol\tthe\thabit. The\tfirst\tstep\tis\tself-awareness,\tcatching\tthe\tworrisome\tepisodes\tas\tnear\ttheir beginning\tas\tpossible\u2014ideally,\tas\tsoon\tas\tor\tjust\tafter\tthe\tfleeting\tcatastrophic image\ttriggers\tthe\tworry-anxiety\tcycle.\tBorkovec\ttrains\tpeople\tin\tthis\tapproach by\tfirst\tteaching\tthem\tto\tmonitor\tcues\tfor\tanxiety,\tespecially\tlearning\tto\tidentify situations\tthat\ttrigger\tworry,\tor\tthe\tfleeting\tthoughts\tand\timages\tthat\tinitiate\tthe worry,\tas\twell\tas\tthe\taccompanying\tsensations\tof\tanxiety\tin\tthe\tbody.\tWith practice,\tpeople\tcan\tidentify\tthe\tworries\tat\tan\tearlier\tand\tearlier\tpoint\tin\tthe anxiety\tspiral.\tPeople\talso\tlearn\trelaxation\tmethods\tthat\tthey\tcan\tapply\tat\tthe moment\tthey\trecognize\tthe\tworry\tbeginning,\tand\tpractice\tthe\trelaxation\tmethod daily\tso\tthey\twill\tbe\table\tto\tuse\tit\ton\tthe\tspot,\twhen\tthey\tneed\tit\tthe\tmost. The\trelaxation\tmethod,\tthough,\tis\tnot\tenough\tin\titself.\tWorriers\talso\tneed\tto actively\tchallenge\tthe\tworrisome\tthoughts;\tfailing\tthis,\tthe\tworry\tspiral\twill keep\tcoming\tback.\tSo\tthe\tnext\tstep\tis\tto\ttake\ta\tcritical\tstance\ttoward\ttheir assumptions:\tIs\tit\tvery\tprobable\tthat\tthe\tdreaded\tevent\twill\toccur?\tIs\tit necessarily\tthe\tcase\tthat\tthere\tis\tonly\tone\tor\tno\talternative\tto\tletting\tit\thappen? Are\tthere\tconstructive\tsteps\tto\tbe\ttaken?\tDoes\tit\treally\thelp\tto\trun\tthrough\tthese same\tanxious\tthoughts\tover\tand\tover? This\tcombination\tof\tmindfulness\tand\thealthy\tskepticism\twould,\tpresumably, act\tas\ta\tbrake\ton\tthe\tneural\tactivation\tthat\tunderlies\tlow-grade\tanxiety.\tActively generating\tsuch\tthoughts\tmay\tprime\tthe\tcircuitry\tthat\tcan\tinhibit\tthe\tlimbic driving\tof\tworry;\tat\tthe\tsame\ttime,\tactively\tinducing\ta\trelaxed\tstate\tcounters\tthe signals\tfor\tanxiety\tthe\temotional\tbrain\tis\tsending\tthroughout\tthe\tbody. Indeed,\tBorkovec\tpoints\tout,\tthese\tstrategies\testablish\ta\ttrain\tof\tmental activity\tthat\tis\tincompatible\twith\tworry.\tWhen\ta\tworry\tis\tallowed\tto\trepeat\tover and\tover\tunchallenged,\tit\tgains\tin\tpersuasive\tpower;\tchallenging\tit\tby contemplating\ta\trange\tof\tequally\tplausible\tpoints\tof\tview\tkeeps\tthe\tone\tworried thought\tfrom\tbeing\tnaively\ttaken\tas\ttrue.\tEven\tsome\tpeople\twhose\tworrying\tis serious\tenough\tto\tqualify\tfor\ta\tpsychiatric\tdiagnosis\thave\tbeen\trelieved\tof\tthe worrying\thabit\tthis\tway. On\tthe\tother\thand,\tfor\tpeople\twith\tworries\tso\tsevere\tthey\thave\tflowered\tinto phobia,\tobsessive-compulsive\tdisorder,\tor\tpanic\tdisorder,\tit\tmay\tbe\tprudent\u2014","indeed,\ta\tsign\tof\tself-awareness\u2014to\tturn\tto\tmedication\tto\tinterrupt\tthe\tcycle.\tA retraining\tof\tthe\temotional\tcircuitry\tthrough\ttherapy\tis\tstill\tcalled\tfor,\thowever, in\torder\tto\tlessen\tthe\tlikelihood\tthat\tanxiety\tdisorders\twill\trecur\twhen medication\tis\tstopped.13","MANAGING\tMELANCHOLY The\tsingle\tmood\tpeople\tgenerally\tput\tmost\teffort\tinto\tshaking\tis\tsadness;\tDiane Tice\tfound\tthat\tpeople\tare\tmost\tinventive\twhen\tit\tcomes\tto\ttrying\tto\tescape\tthe blues.\tOf\tcourse,\tnot\tall\tsadness\tshould\tbe\tescaped;\tmelancholy,\tlike\tevery\tother mood,\thas\tits\tbenefits.\tThe\tsadness\tthat\ta\tloss\tbrings\thas\tcertain\tinvariable effects:\tit\tcloses\tdown\tour\tinterest\tin\tdiversions\tand\tpleasures,\tfixes\tattention\ton what\thas\tbeen\tlost,\tand\tsaps\tour\tenergy\tfor\tstarting\tnew\tendeavors\u2014at\tleast\tfor the\ttime\tbeing.\tIn\tshort,\tit\tenforces\ta\tkind\tof\treflective\tretreat\tfrom\tlife's\tbusy pursuits,\tand\tleaves\tus\tin\ta\tsuspended\tstate\tto\tmourn\tthe\tloss,\tmull\tover\tits meaning,\tand,\tfinally,\tmake\tthe\tpsychological\tadjustments\tand\tnew\tplans\tthat will\tallow\tour\tlives\tto\tcontinue. Bereavement\tis\tuseful;\tfull-blown\tdepression\tis\tnot.\tWilliam\tStyron\trenders an\teloquent\tdescription\tof\t\\\"the\tmany\tdreadful\tmanifestations\tof\tthe\tdisease,\\\" among\tthem\tself-hatred,\ta\tsense\tof\tworthlessness,\ta\t\\\"dank\tjoylessness\\\"\twith \\\"gloom\tcrowding\tin\ton\tme,\ta\tsense\tof\tdread\tand\talienation\tand,\tabove\tall,\ta stifling\tanxiety.\\\"14\tThen\tthere\tare\tthe\tintellectual\tmarks:\t\\\"confusion,\tfailure\tof mental\tfocus\tand\tlapse\tof\tmemories,\\\"\tand,\tat\ta\tlater\tstage,\this\tmind\t\\\"dominated by\tanarchic\tdistortions,\\\"\tand\t\\\"a\tsense\tthat\tmy\tthought\tprocesses\twere\tengulfed by\ta\ttoxic\tand\tunnameable\ttide\tthat\tobliterated\tany\tenjoyable\tresponse\tto\tthe living\tworld.\\\"\tThere\tare\tthe\tphysical\teffects:\tsleeplessness,\tfeeling\tas\tlistless\tas\ta zombie,\t\\\"a\tkind\tof\tnumbness,\tan\tenervation,\tbut\tmore\tparticularly\tan\todd fragility,\\\"\talong\twith\ta\t\\\"fidgety\trestlessness.\\\"\tThen\tthere\tis\tthe\tloss\tof\tpleasure: \\\"Food,\tlike\teverything\telse\twithin\tthe\tscope\tof\tsensation,\twas\tutterly\twithout savor.\\\"\tFinally,\tthere\twas\tthe\tvanishing\tof\thope\tas\tthe\t\\\"gray\tdrizzle\tof\thorror\\\" took\ton\ta\tdespair\tso\tpalpable\tit\twas\tlike\tphysical\tpain,\ta\tpain\tso\tunendurable that\tsuicide\tseemed\ta\tsolution. In\tsuch\tmajor\tdepression,\tlife\tis\tparalyzed;\tno\tnew\tbeginnings\temerge.\tThe very\tsymptoms\tof\tdepression\tbespeak\ta\tlife\ton\thold.\tFor\tStyron,\tno\tmedication or\ttherapy\thelped;\tit\twas\tthe\tpassing\tof\ttime\tand\tthe\trefuge\tof\ta\thospital\tthat finally\tcleared\taway\tthe\tdespondency.\tBut\tfor\tmost\tpeople,\tespecially\tthose\twith less\tsevere\tcases,\tpsychotherapy\tcan\thelp,\tas\tcan\tmedication\u2014Prozac\tis\tthe treatment\tof\tthe\thour,\tbut\tthere\tare\tmore\tthan\ta\tdozen\tother\tcompounds\toffering some\thelp,\tespecially\tfor\tmajor\tdepression. My\tfocus\there\tis\tthe\tfar\tmore\tcommon\tsadness\tthat\tat\tits\tupper\tlimits becomes,\ttechnically\tspeaking,\ta\t\\\"subclinical\tdepression\\\"\u2014that\tis,\tordinary melancholy.\tThis\tis\ta\trange\tof\tdespondency\tthat\tpeople\tcan\thandle\ton\ttheir\town,","melancholy.\tThis\tis\ta\trange\tof\tdespondency\tthat\tpeople\tcan\thandle\ton\ttheir\town, if\tthey\thave\tthe\tinternal\tresources.\tUnfortunately,\tsome\tof\tthe\tstrategies\tmost often\tresorted\tto\tcan\tbackfire,\tleaving\tpeople\tfeeling\tworse\tthan\tbefore.\tOne such\tstrategy\tis\tsimply\tstaying\talone,\twhich\tis\toften\tappealing\twhen\tpeople\tare feeling\tdown;\tmore\toften\tthan\tnot,\thowever,\tit\tonly\tadds\ta\tsense\tof\tloneliness and\tisolation\tto\tthe\tsadness.\tThat\tmay\tpartly\texplain\twhy\tTice\tfound\tthe\tmost popular\ttactic\tfor\tbattling\tdepression\tis\tsocializing\u2014going\tout\tto\teat,\tto\ta ballgame\tor\tmovie;\tin\tshort,\tdoing\tsomething\twith\tfriends\tor\tfamily.\tThat\tworks well\tif\tthe\tnet\teffect\tis\tto\tget\tthe\tperson's\tmind\toff\this\tsadness.\tBut\tit\tsimply prolongs\tthe\tmood\tif\the\tuses\tthe\toccasion\tjust\tto\tmull\tover\twhat\tput\thim\tin\tthe funk. Indeed,\tone\tof\tthe\tmain\tdeterminants\tof\twhether\ta\tdepressed\tmood\twill\tpersist or\tlift\tis\tthe\tdegree\tto\twhich\tpeople\truminate.\tWorrying\tabout\twhat's\tdepressing us,\tit\tseems,\tmakes\tthe\tdepression\tall\tthe\tmore\tintense\tand\tprolonged.\tIn depression,\tworry\ttakes\tseveral\tforms,\tall\tfocusing\ton\tsome\taspect\tof\tthe depression\titself\u2014how\ttired\twe\tfeel,\thow\tlittle\tenergy\tor\tmotivation\twe\thave, for\tinstance,\tor\thow\tlittle\twork\twe're\tgetting\tdone.\tTypically\tnone\tof\tthis reflection\tis\taccompanied\tby\tany\tconcrete\tcourse\tof\taction\tthat\tmight\talleviate the\tproblem.\tOther\tcommon\tworries\tinclude\t\\\"isolating\tyourself\tand\tthinking about\thow\tterrible\tyou\tfeel,\tworrying\tthat\tyour\tspouse\tmight\treject\tyou\tbecause you\tare\tdepressed,\tand\twondering\twhether\tyou\tare\tgoing\tto\thave\tanother sleepless\tnight,\\\"\tsays\tStanford\tpsychologist\tSusan\tNolen-Hoeksma,\twho\thas studied\trumination\tin\tdepressed\tpeople.15 Depressed\tpeople\tsometimes\tjustify\tthis\tkind\tof\trumination\tby\tsaying\tthey\tare trying\tto\t\\\"understand\tthemselves\tbetter\\\";\tin\tfact,\tthey\tare\tpriming\tthe\tfeelings\tof sadness\twithout\ttaking\tany\tsteps\tthat\tmight\tactually\tlift\ttheir\tmood.\tThus\tin therapy\tit\tmight\tbe\tperfectly\thelpful\tto\treflect\tdeeply\ton\tthe\tcauses\tof\ta depression,\tif\tthat\tleads\tto\tinsights\tor\tactions\tthat\twill\tchange\tthe\tconditions\tthat cause\tit.\tBut\ta\tpassive\timmersion\tin\tthe\tsadness\tsimply\tmakes\tit\tworse. Rumination\tcan\talso\tmake\tthe\tdepression\tstronger\tby\tcreating\tconditions\tthat are,\twell,\tmore\tdepressing.\tNolen-Hoeksma\tgives\tthe\texample\tof\ta\tsaleswoman who\tgets\tdepressed\tand\tspends\tso\tmany\thours\tworrying\tabout\tit\tthat\tshe\tdoesn't get\taround\tto\timportant\tsales\tcalls.\tHer\tsales\tthen\tdecline,\tmaking\ther\tfeel\tlike\ta failure,\twhich\tfeeds\ther\tdepression.\tBut\tif\tshe\treacted\tto\tdepression\tby\ttrying\tto distract\therself,\tshe\tmight\twell\tplunge\tinto\tthe\tsales\tcalls\tas\ta\tway\tto\tget\ther mind\toff\tthe\tsadness.\tSales\twould\tbe\tless\tlikely\tto\tdecline,\tand\tthe\tvery experience\tof\tmaking\ta\tsale\tmight\tbolster\ther\tself-confidence,\tlessening\tthe depression\tsomewhat. Women,\tNolen-Hoeksma\tfinds,\tare\tfar\tmore\tprone\tto\truminate\twhen\tthey\tare","Women,\tNolen-Hoeksma\tfinds,\tare\tfar\tmore\tprone\tto\truminate\twhen\tthey\tare depressed\tthan\tare\tmen.\tThis,\tshe\tproposes,\tmay\tat\tleast\tpartly\texplain\tthe\tfact that\twomen\tare\tdiagnosed\twith\tdepression\ttwice\tas\toften\tas\tare\tmen.\tOf\tcourse, other\tfactors\tmay\tcome\tinto\tplay,\tsuch\tas\twomen\tbeing\tmore\topen\tto\tdisclosing their\tdistress\tor\thaving\tmore\tin\ttheir\tlives\tto\tbe\tdepressed\tabout.\tAnd\tmen\tmay drown\ttheir\tdepression\tin\talcoholism,\tfor\twhich\ttheir\trate\tis\tabout\ttwice\tthat\tof women. Cognitive\ttherapy\taimed\tat\tchanging\tthese\tthought\tpatterns\thas\tbeen\tfound\tin some\tstudies\tto\tbe\ton\ta\tpar\twith\tmedication\tfor\ttreating\tmild\tclinical\tdepression, and\tsuperior\tto\tmedication\tin\tpreventing\tthe\treturn\tof\tmild\tdepression.\tTwo strategies\tare\tparticularly\teffective\tin\tthe\tbattle.16\tOne\tis\tto\tlearn\tto\tchallenge\tthe thoughts\tat\tthe\tcenter\tof\trumination\u2014to\tquestion\ttheir\tvalidity\tand\tthink\tof\tmore positive\talternatives.\tThe\tother\tis\tto\tpurposely\tschedule\tpleasant,\tdistracting events. One\treason\tdistraction\tworks\tis\tthat\tdepressing\tthoughts\tare\tautomatic, intruding\ton\tone's\tstate\tof\tmind\tunbidden.\tEven\twhen\tdepressed\tpeople\ttry\tto suppress\ttheir\tdepressing\tthoughts,\tthey\toften\tcannot\tcome\tup\twith\tbetter alternatives;\tonce\tthe\tdepressive\ttide\tof\tthought\thas\tstarted,\tit\thas\ta\tpowerful magnetic\teffect\ton\tthe\ttrain\tof\tassociation.\tFor\texample,\twhen\tdepressed\tpeople were\tasked\tto\tunscramble\tjumbled\tsix-word\tsentences,\tthey\twere\tmuch\tbetter\tat figuring\tout\tthe\tdepressing\tmessages\t(\\\"The\tfuture\tlooks\tvery\tdismal\\\")\tthan\tthe upbeat\tones\t(\\\"The\tfuture\tlooks\tvery\tbright\\\").17 The\ttendency\tfor\tdepression\tto\tperpetuate\titself\tshades\teven\tthe\tkinds\tof distractions\tpeople\tchoose.\tWhen\tdepressed\tpeople\twere\tgiven\ta\tlist\tof\tupbeat\tor ponderous\tways\tto\tget\ttheir\tminds\toff\tsomething\tsad,\tsuch\tas\tthe\tfuneral\tof\ta friend,\tthey\tpicked\tmore\tof\tthe\tmelancholy\tactivities.\tRichard\tWenzlaff,\tthe University\tof\tTexas\tpsychologist\twho\tdid\tthese\tstudies,\tconcludes\tthat\tpeople who\tare\talready\tdepressed\tneed\tto\tmake\ta\tspecial\teffort\tto\tget\ttheir\tattention\ton something\tthat\tis\tcompletely\tupbeat,\tbeing\tcareful\tnot\tto\tinadvertently\tchoose something\u2014a\ttearjerker\tmovie,\ta\ttragic\tnovel\u2014that\twill\tdrag\ttheir\tmood\tdown again. Mood-lifters Imagine\tthat\tyou're\tdriving\ton\tan\tunfamiliar,\tsteep,\tand\twinding\troad through\tfog.\tSuddenly\ta\tcar\tpulls\tout\tof\ta\tdriveway\tonly\ta\tfew\tfeet\tin\tfront of\tyou,\ttoo\tclose\tfor\tyou\tto\tstop\tin\ttime.\tYour\tfoot\tslams\tthe\tbrake\tto\tthe floor\tand\tyou\tgo\tinto\ta\tskid,\tyour\tcar\tsliding\tinto\tthe\tside\tof\tthe\tother\tone. You\tsee\tthat\tthe\tcar\tis\tfull\tof\tyoungsters,\ta\tcarpool\ton\tthe\tway\tto\tpreschool","You\tsee\tthat\tthe\tcar\tis\tfull\tof\tyoungsters,\ta\tcarpool\ton\tthe\tway\tto\tpreschool \u2014just\tbefore\tthe\texplosion\tof\tglass\tshattering\tand\tmetal\tbending\tinto\tmetal. Then,\tout\tof\tthe\tsudden\tsilence\tafter\tthe\tcollision,\tyou\thear\ta\tchorus\tof crying.\tYou\tmanage\tto\trun\tto\tthe\tother\tcar,\tand\tsee\tthat\tone\tof\tthe\tchildren is\tlying\tmotionless.\tYou\tare\tflooded\twith\tremorse\tand\tsadness\tover\tthis tragedy.... \t Such\theart-wrenching\tscenarios\twere\tused\tto\tget\tvolunteers\tupset\tin\tone\tof Wenzlaff\ts\texperiments.\tThe\tvolunteers\tthen\ttried\tto\tkeep\tthe\tscene\tout\tof\ttheir minds\twhile\tthey\tjotted\tnotes\tabout\tthe\tstream\tof\ttheir\tthoughts\tfor\tnine minutes.\tEach\ttime\tthe\tthought\tof\tthe\tdisturbing\tscene\tintruded\tinto\ttheir\tminds, they\tmade\ta\tcheck\tmark\tas\tthey\twrote.\tWhile\tmost\tpeople\tthought\tabout\tthe upsetting\tscene\tless\tand\tless\tas\ttime\twent\ton,\tthose\tvolunteers\twho\twere\tmore depressed\tactually\tshowed\ta\tpronounced\tincrease\tin\tintruding\tthoughts\tof\tthe scene\tas\ttime\tpassed,\tand\teven\tmade\toblique\treferences\tto\tit\tin\tthe\tthoughts\tthat were\tsupposed\tto\tbe\tdistractions\tfrom\tit. What's\tmore,\tthe\tdepression-prone\tvolunteers\tused\tother\tdistressing\tthoughts to\tdistract\tthemselves.\tAs\tWenzlaff\ttold\tme,\t\\\"Thoughts\tare\tassociated\tin\tthe mind\tnot\tjust\tby\tcontent,\tbut\tby\tmood.\tPeople\thave\twhat\tamounts\tto\ta\tset\tof bad-mood\tthoughts\tthat\tcome\tto\tmind\tmore\treadily\twhen\tthey\tare\tfeeling\tdown. People\twho\tget\tdepressed\teasily\ttend\tto\tcreate\tvery\tstrong\tnetworks\tof association\tbetween\tthese\tthoughts,\tso\tthat\tit\tis\tharder\tto\tsuppress\tthem\tonce some\tkind\tof\tbad\tmood\tis\tevoked.\tIronically,\tdepressed\tpeople\tseem\tto\tuse\tone depressing\ttopic\tto\tget\ttheir\tminds\toff\tanother,\twhich\tonly\tstirs\tmore\tnegative emotions.\\\" Crying,\tone\ttheory\tholds,\tmay\tbe\tnature's\tway\tof\tlowering\tlevels\tof\tthe\tbrain chemicals\tthat\tprime\tdistress.\tWhile\tcrying\tcan\tsometimes\tbreak\ta\tspell\tof sadness,\tit\tcan\talso\tleave\tthe\tperson\tstill\tobsessing\tabout\tthe\treasons\tfor\tdespair. The\tidea\tof\ta\t\\\"good\tcry\\\"\tis\tmisleading:\tcrying\tthat\treinforces\trumination\tonly prolongs\tthe\tmisery.\tDistractions\tbreak\tthe\tchain\tof\tsadness-maintaining thinking;\tone\tof\tthe\tleading\ttheories\tof\twhy\telectroconvulsive\ttherapy\tis effective\tfor\tthe\tmost\tsevere\tdepressions\tis\tthat\tit\tcauses\ta\tloss\tof\tshort-term memory\u2014patients\tfeel\tbetter\tbecause\tthey\tcan't\tremember\twhy\tthey\twere\tso sad.\tAt\tany\trate,\tto\tshake\tgarden-variety\tsadness,\tDiane\tTice\tfound,\tmany people\treported\tturning\tto\tdistractions\tsuch\tas\treading,\tTV\tand\tmovies,\tvideo games\tand\tpuzzles,\tsleeping,\tand\tdaydreams\tsuch\tas\tplanning\ta\tfantasy\tvacation.","games\tand\tpuzzles,\tsleeping,\tand\tdaydreams\tsuch\tas\tplanning\ta\tfantasy\tvacation. Wenzlaff\twould\tadd\tthat\tthe\tmost\teffective\tdistractions\tare\tones\tthat\twill\tshift your\tmood\u2014an\texciting\tsporting\tevent,\ta\tfunny\tmovie,\tan\tuplifting\tbook.\t(A note\tof\tcaution\there:\tSome\tdistractors\tin\tthemselves\tcan\tperpetuate\tdepression. Studies\tof\theavy\tTV\twatchers\thave\tfound\tthat,\tafter\twatching\tTV,\tthey\tare generally\tmore\tdepressed\tthan\tbefore\tthey\tstarted!) Aerobic\texercise,\tTice\tfound,\tis\tone\tof\tthe\tmore\teffective\ttactics\tfor\tlifting mild\tdepression,\tas\twell\tas\tother\tbad\tmoods.\tBut\tthe\tcaveat\there\tis\tthat\tthe mood-lifting\tbenefits\tof\texercise\twork\tbest\tfor\tthe\tlazy,\tthose\twho\tusually\tdo not\twork\tout\tvery\tmuch.\tFor\tthose\twith\ta\tdaily\texercise\troutine,\twhatever\tmood- changing\tbenefits\tit\toffers\twere\tprobably\tstrongest\twhen\tthey\tfirst\ttook\tup\tthe exercise\thabit.\tIn\tfact,\tfor\thabitual\texercisers\tthere\tis\ta\treverse\teffect\ton\tmood: they\tstart\tto\tfeel\tbad\ton\tthose\tdays\twhen\tthey\tskip\ttheir\tworkout.\tExercise\tseems to\twork\twell\tbecause\tit\tchanges\tthe\tphysiological\tstate\tthe\tmood\tevokes: depression\tis\ta\tlow-arousal\tstate,\tand\taerobics\tpitches\tthe\tbody\tinto\thigh\tarousal. By\tthe\tsame\ttoken,\trelaxation\ttechniques,\twhich\tput\tthe\tbody\tinto\ta\tlow-arousal state,\twork\twell\tfor\tanxiety,\ta\thigh-arousal\tstate,\tbut\tnot\tso\twell\tfor\tdepression. Each\tof\tthese\tapproaches\tseems\tto\twork\tto\tbreak\tthe\tcycle\tof\tdepression\tor anxiety\tbecause\tit\tpitches\tthe\tbrain\tinto\ta\tlevel\tof\tactivity\tincompatible\twith\tthe emotional\tstate\tthat\thas\thad\tit\tin\tits\tgrip. Cheering\toneself\tup\tthrough\ttreats\tand\tsensual\tpleasures\twas\tanother\tfairly popular\tantidote\tto\tthe\tblues.\tCommon\tways\tpeople\tsoothed\tthemselves\twhen depressed\tranged\tfrom\ttaking\thot\tbaths\tor\teating\tfavorite\tfoods,\tto\tlistening\tto music\tor\thaving\tsex.\tBuying\toneself\ta\tgift\tor\ttreat\tto\tget\tout\tof\ta\tbad\tmood\twas particularly\tpopular\tamong\twomen,\tas\twas\tshopping\tin\tgeneral,\teven\tif\tonly window-shopping.\tAmong\tthose\tin\tcollege,\tTice\tfound\tthat\teating\twas\tthree times\tas\tcommon\ta\tstrategy\tfor\tsoothing\tsadness\tamong\twomen\tthan\tmen;\tmen, on\tthe\tother\thand,\twere\tfive\ttimes\tas\tlikely\tto\tturn\tto\tdrinking\tor\tdrugs\twhen they\tfelt\tdown.\tThe\ttrouble\twith\tovereating\tor\talcohol\tas\tantidotes,\tof\tcourse,\tis that\tthey\tcan\teasily\tbackfire:\teating\tto\texcess\tbrings\tregret;\talcohol\tis\ta\tcentral nervous\tsystem\tdepressant,\tand\tso\tonly\tadds\tto\tthe\teffects\tof\tdepression\titself. A\tmore\tconstructive\tapproach\tto\tmood-lifting,\tTice\treports,\tis\tengineering\ta small\ttriumph\tor\teasy\tsuccess:\ttackling\tsome\tlong-delayed\tchore\taround\tthe house\tor\tgetting\tto\tsome\tother\tduty\tthey've\tbeen\twanting\tto\tclear\tup.\tBy\tthe same\ttoken,\tlifts\tto\tself-image\talso\twere\tcheering,\teven\tif\tonly\tin\tthe\tform\tof getting\tdressed\tup\tor\tputting\ton\tmakeup. One\tof\tthe\tmost\tpotent\u2014and,\toutside\ttherapy,\tlittle\tused\u2014antidotes\tto depression\tis\tseeing\tthings\tdifferently,\tor\tcognitive\treframing.\tIt\tis\tnatural\tto","bemoan\tthe\tend\tof\ta\trelationship\tand\tto\twallow\tin\tself-pitying\tthoughts\tsuch\tas the\tconviction\tthat\t\\\"this\tmeans\tI'll\talways\tbe\talone,\\\"\tbut\tit's\tsure\tto\tthicken\tthe sense\tof\tdespair.\tHowever,\tstepping\tback\tand\tthinking\tabout\tthe\tways\tthe relationship\twasn't\tso\tgreat,\tand\tways\tyou\tand\tyour\tpartner\twere\tmismatched\u2014 in\tother\twords,\tseeing\tthe\tloss\tdifferently,\tin\ta\tmore\tpositive\tlight\u2014is\tan antidote\tto\tthe\tsadness.\tBy\tthe\tsame\ttoken,\tcancer\tpatients,\tno\tmatter\thow serious\ttheir\tcondition,\twere\tin\tbetter\tmoods\tif\tthey\twere\table\tto\tbring\tto\tmind another\tpatient\twho\twas\tin\teven\tworse\tshape\t(\\\"I'm\tnot\tso\tbad\toff\u2014at\tleast\tI\tcan walk\\\");\tthose\twho\tcompared\tthemselves\tto\thealthy\tpeople\twere\tthe\tmost depressed.18\tSuch\tdownward\tcomparisons\tare\tsurprisingly\tcheering:\tsuddenly what\thad\tseemed\tquite\tdispiriting\tdoesn't\tlook\tall\tthat\tbad. Another\teffective\tdepression-lifter\tis\thelping\tothers\tin\tneed.\tSince\tdepression feeds\ton\truminations\tand\tpreoccupations\twith\tthe\tself,\thelping\tothers\tlifts\tus\tout of\tthose\tpreoccupations\tas\twe\tempathize\twith\tpeople\tin\tpain\tof\ttheir\town. Throwing\toneself\tinto\tvolunteer\twork\u2014coaching\tLittle\tLeague,\tbeing\ta\tBig Brother,\tfeeding\tthe\thomeless\u2014was\tone\tof\tthe\tmost\tpowerful\tmood-changers\tin Tice's\tstudy.\tBut\tit\twas\talso\tone\tof\tthe\trarest. Finally,\tat\tleast\tsome\tpeople\tare\table\tto\tfind\trelief\tfrom\ttheir\tmelancholy\tin turning\tto\ta\ttranscendent\tpower.\tTice\ttold\tme,\t\\\"Praying,\tif\tyou're\tvery\treligious, works\tfor\tall\tmoods,\tespecially\tdepression.\\\" REPRESSORS:\tUPBEAT\tDENIAL \\\"He\tkicked\this\troommate\tin\tthe\tstomach\t.\t.\t.\\\"\tthe\tsentence\tbegins.\tIt\tends,\t\\\"... but\the\tmeant\tto\tturn\ton\tthe\tlight.\\\" That\ttransformation\tof\tan\tact\tof\taggression\tinto\tan\tinnocent,\tif\tslightly implausible,\tmistake\tis\trepression\tcaptured\tin\tvivo.\tIt\twas\tcomposed\tby\ta\tcollege student\twho\thad\tvolunteered\tfor\ta\tstudy\tof\trepressors,\tpeople\twho\thabitually and\tautomatically\tseem\tto\tblot\temotional\tdisturbance\tfrom\ttheir\tawareness.\tThe beginning\tfragment\t\\\"He\tkicked\this\troommate\tin\tthe\tstomach\t.\t.\t.\\\"\twas\tgiven\tto this\tstudent\tas\tpart\tof\ta\tsentence-completion\ttest.\tOther\ttests\tshowed\tthat\tthis small\tact\tof\tmental\tavoidance\twas\tpart\tof\ta\tlarger\tpattern\tin\this\tlife,\ta\tpattern\tof tuning\tout\tmost\temotional\tupset.\t19\tWhile\tat\tfirst\tresearchers\tsaw\trepressors\tas\ta prime\texample\tof\tthe\tinability\tto\tfeel\temotion\u2014cousins\tof\talexithymics,\tperhaps \u2014current\tthinking\tsees\tthem\tas\tquite\tproficient\tin\tregulating\temotion.\tThey have\tbecome\tso\tadept\tat\tbuffering\tthemselves\tagainst\tnegative\tfeelings,\tit seems,\tthat\tthey\tare\tnot\teven\taware\tof\tthe\tnegativity.\tRather\tthan\tcalling\tthem","repressors,\tas\thas\tbeen\tthe\tcustom\tamong\tresearchers,\ta\tmore\tapt\tterm\tmight\tbe unflappables. Much\tof\tthis\tresearch,\tdone\tprincipally\tby\tDaniel\tWeinberger,\ta\tpsychologist now\tat\tCase\tWestern\tReserve\tUniversity,\tshows\tthat\twhile\tsuch\tpeople\tmay seem\tcalm\tand\timperturbable,\tthey\tcan\tsometimes\tseethe\twith\tphysiological upsets\tthey\tare\toblivious\tto.\tDuring\tthe\tsentence-completion\ttest,\tvolunteers were\talso\tbeing\tmonitored\tfor\ttheir\tlevel\tof\tphysiological\tarousal.\tThe repressors'\tveneer\tof\tcalm\twas\tbelied\tby\tthe\tagitation\tof\ttheir\tbodies:\twhen faced\twith\tthe\tsentence\tabout\tthe\tviolent\troommate\tand\tothers\tlike\tit,\tthey\tgave all\tthe\tsigns\tof\tanxiety,\tsuch\tas\ta\tracing\theart,\tsweating,\tand\tclimbing\tblood pressure.\tYet\twhen\tasked,\tthey\tsaid\tthey\tfelt\tperfectly\tcalm. This\tcontinual\ttuning-out\tof\temotions\tsuch\tas\tanger\tand\tanxiety\tis\tnot uncommon:\tabout\tone\tperson\tin\tsix\tshows\tthe\tpattern,\taccording\tto\tWeinberger. In\ttheory,\tchildren\tmight\tlearn\tto\tbecome\tunflappable\tin\tany\tof\tseveral\tways. One\tmight\tbe\tas\ta\tstrategy\tfor\tsurviving\ta\ttroubling\tsituation\tsuch\tas\thaving\tan alcoholic\tparent\tin\ta\tfamily\twhere\tthe\tproblem\titself\tis\tdenied.\tAnother\tmight\tbe having\ta\tparent\tor\tparents\twho\tare\tthemselves\trepressors\tand\tso\tpass\ton\tthe example\tof\tperennial\tcheerfulness\tor\ta\tstiff\tupper\tlip\tin\tthe\tface\tof\tdisturbing feelings.\tOr\tthe\ttrait\tmay\tsimply\tbe\tinherited\ttemperament.\tWhile\tno\tone\tcan say\tas\tyet\tjust\thow\tsuch\ta\tpattern\tbegins\tin\tlife,\tby\tthe\ttime\trepressors\treach adulthood\tthey\tare\tcool\tand\tcollected\tunder\tduress. The\tquestion\tremains,\tof\tcourse,\tas\tto\tjust\thow\tcalm\tand\tcool\tthey\tactually are.\tCan\tthey\treally\tbe\tunaware\tof\tthe\tphysical\tsigns\tof\tdistressing\temotions,\tor are\tthey\tsimply\tfeigning\tcalm?\tThe\tanswer\tto\tthat\thas\tcome\tfrom\tclever research\tby\tRichard\tDavidson,\ta\tUniversity\tof\tWisconsin\tpsychologist\tand\tan early\tcollaborator\twith\tWeinberger.\tDavidson\thad\tpeople\twith\tthe\tunflappable pattern\tfree-associate\tto\ta\tlist\tof\twords,\tmost\tneutral,\tbut\tseveral\twith\thostile\tor sexual\tmeanings\tthat\tstir\tanxiety\tin\talmost\teveryone.\tAnd,\tas\ttheir\tbodily reactions\trevealed,\tthey\thad\tall\tthe\tphysiological\tsigns\tof\tdistress\tin\tresponse\tto the\tloaded\twords,\teven\tthough\tthe\twords\tthey\tassociated\tto\talmost\talways showed\tan\tattempt\tto\tsanitize\tthe\tupsetting\twords\tby\tlinking\tthem\tto\tan\tinnocent one.\tIf\tthe\tfirst\tword\twas\t\\\"hate,\\\"\tthe\tresponse\tmight\tbe\t\\\"love.\\\" Davidson's\tstudy\ttook\tadvantage\tof\tthe\tfact\tthat\t(in\tright-handed\tpeople)\ta\tkey center\tfor\tprocessing\tnegative\temotion\tis\tin\tthe\tright\thalf\tof\tthe\tbrain,\twhile\tthe center\tfor\tspeaking\tis\tin\tthe\tleft.\tOnce\tthe\tright\themisphere\trecognizes\tthat\ta word\tis\tupsetting,\tit\ttransmits\tthat\tinformation\tacross\tthe\tcorpus\tcallosum,\tthe great\tdivide\tbetween\tthe\tbrain's\thalves,\tto\tthe\tspeech\tcenter,\tand\ta\tword\tis spoken\tin\tresponse.\tUsing\tan\tintricate\tarrangement\tof\tlenses,\tDavidson\twas\table","spoken\tin\tresponse.\tUsing\tan\tintricate\tarrangement\tof\tlenses,\tDavidson\twas\table to\tdisplay\ta\tword\tso\tthat\tit\twas\tseen\tin\tonly\thalf\tof\tthe\tvisual\tfield.\tBecause\tof the\tneural\twiring\tof\tthe\tvisual\tsystem,\tif\tthe\tdisplay\twas\tto\tthe\tleft\thalf\tof\tthe visual\tfield,\tit\twas\trecognized\tfirst\tby\tthe\tright\thalf\tof\tthe\tbrain,\twith\tits sensitivity\tto\tdistress.\tIf\tthe\tdisplay\twas\tto\tthe\tright\thalf\tof\tthe\tvisual\tfield,\tthe signal\twent\tto\tthe\tleft\tside\tof\tthe\tbrain\twithout\tbeing\tassessed\tfor\tupset. When\tthe\twords\twere\tpresented\tto\tthe\tright\themisphere,\tthere\twas\ta\tlag\tin\tthe time\tit\ttook\tthe\tunflappables\tto\tutter\ta\tresponse\u2014but\tonly\tif\tthe\tword\tthey\twere responding\tto\twas\tone\tof\tthe\tupsetting\tones.\tThey\thad\tno\ttime\tlag\tin\tthe\tspeed of\ttheir\tassociations\tto\tneutral\twords.\tThe\tlag\tshowed\tup\tonly\twhen\tthe\twords were\tpresented\tto\tthe\tright\themisphere,\tnot\tto\tthe\tleft.\tIn\tshort,\ttheir unflappableness\tseems\tdue\tto\ta\tneural\tmechanism\tthat\tslows\tor\tinterferes\twith the\ttransfer\tof\tupsetting\tinformation.\tThe\timplication\tis\tthat\tthey\tare\tnot\tfaking their\tlack\tof\tawareness\tabout\thow\tupset\tthey\tare;\ttheir\tbrain\tis\tkeeping\tthat information\tfrom\tthem.\tMore\tprecisely,\tthe\tlayer\tof\tmellow\tfeeling\tthat\tcovers over\tsuch\tdisturbing\tperceptions\tmay\twell\tbe\tdue\tto\tthe\tworkings\tof\tthe\tleft prefrontal\tlobe.\tTo\this\tsurprise,\twhen\tDavidson\tmeasured\tactivity\tlevels\tin\ttheir prefrontal\tlobes,\tthey\thad\ta\tdecided\tpredominance\tof\tactivity\ton\tthe\tleft\u2014the center\tfor\tgood\tfeeling\u2014and\tless\ton\tthe\tright,\tthe\tcenter\tfor\tnegativity. These\tpeople\t\\\"present\tthemselves\tin\ta\tpositive\tlight,\twith\tan\tupbeat\tmood,\\\" Davidson\ttold\tme.\t\\\"They\tdeny\tthat\tstress\tis\tupsetting\tthem\tand\tshow\ta\tpattern\tof left\tfrontal\tactivation\twhile\tjust\tsitting\tat\trest\tthat\tis\tassociated\twith\tpositive feelings.\tThis\tbrain\tactivity\tmay\tbe\tthe\tkey\tto\ttheir\tpositive\tclaims,\tdespite\tthe underlying\tphysiological\tarousal\tthat\tlooks\tlike\tdistress.\\\"\tDavidson's\ttheory\tis that,\tin\tterms\tof\tbrain\tactivity,\tit\tis\tenergy-demanding\twork\tto\texperience distressing\trealities\tin\ta\tpositive\tlight.\tThe\tincreased\tphysiological\tarousal\tmay be\tdue\tto\tthe\tsustained\tattempt\tby\tthe\tneural\tcircuitry\tto\tmaintain\tpositive feelings\tor\tto\tsuppress\tor\tinhibit\tany\tnegative\tones. In\tshort,\tunflappableness\tis\ta\tkind\tof\tupbeat\tdenial,\ta\tpositive\tdissociation\u2014 and,\tpossibly,\ta\tclue\tto\tneural\tmechanisms\tat\tplay\tin\tthe\tmore\tsevere dissociative\tstates\tthat\tcan\toccur\tin,\tsay,\tpost-traumatic\tstress\tdisorder.\tWhen\tit is\tsimply\tinvolved\tin\tequanimity,\tsays\tDavidson,\t\\\"it\tseems\tto\tbe\ta\tsuccessful strategy\tfor\temotional\tself-regulation\\\"\tthough\twith\tan\tunknown\tcost\tto\tself- awareness.","6 The\tMaster\tAptitude \t Just\tonce\tin\tmy\tlife\thave\tI\tbeen\tparalyzed\tby\tfear.\tThe\toccasion\twas\ta calculus\texam\tduring\tmy\tfreshman\tyear\tin\tcollege\tfor\twhich\tI\tsomehow\thad managed\tnot\tto\tstudy.\tI\tstill\tremember\tthe\troom\tI\tmarched\tto\tthat\tspring morning\twith\tfeelings\tof\tdoom\tand\tforeboding\theavy\tin\tmy\theart.\tI\thad\tbeen in\tthat\tlecture\thall\tfor\tmany\tclasses.\tThis\tmorning,\tthough,\tI\tnoticed\tnothing through\tthe\twindows\tand\tdid\tnot\tsee\tthe\thall\tat\tall.\tMy\tgaze\tshrank\tto\tthe patch\tof\tfloor\tdirectly\tin\tfront\tof\tme\tas\tI\tmade\tmy\tway\tto\ta\tseat\tnear\tthe door.\tAs\tI\topened\tthe\tblue\tcover\tof\tmy\texam\tbook,\tthere\twas\tthe\tthump\tin my\tears\tof\theartbeat,\tthere\twas\tthe\ttaste\tof\tanxiety\tin\tthe\tpit\tof\tmy\tstomach. I\tlooked\tat\tthe\texam\tquestions\tonce,\tquickly.\tHopeless.\tFor\tan\thour\tI stared\tat\tthat\tpage,\tmy\tmind\tracing\tover\tthe\tconsequences\tI\twould\tsuffer. The\tsame\tthoughts\trepeated\tthemselves\tover\tand\tover,\ta\ttape\tloop\tof\tfear and\ttrembling.\tI\tsat\tmotionless,\tlike\tan\tanimal\tfrozen\tin\tmid-move\tby curare.\tWhat\tstrikes\tme\tmost\tabout\tthat\tdreadful\tmoment\twas\thow constricted\tmy\tmind\tbecame.\tI\tdid\tnot\tspend\tthe\thour\tin\ta\tdesperate\tattempt to\tpatch\ttogether\tsome\tsemblance\tof\tanswers\tto\tthe\ttest.\tI\tdid\tnot\tdaydream. I\tsimply\tsat\tfixated\ton\tmy\tterror,\twaiting\tfor\tthe\tordeal\tto\tfinish.1 \t That\tnarrative\tof\tan\tordeal\tby\tterror\tis\tmy\town;\tit\tis\tto\tthis\tday\tfor\tme\tthe\tmost convincing\tevidence\tof\tthe\tdevastating\timpact\tof\temotional\tdistress\ton\tmental clarity.\tI\tnow\tsee\tthat\tmy\tordeal\twas\tmost\tlikely\ta\ttestament\tto\tthe\tpower\tof\tthe emotional\tbrain\tto\toverpower,\teven\tparalyze,\tthe\tthinking\tbrain. The\textent\tto\twhich\temotional\tupsets\tcan\tinterfere\twith\tmental\tlife\tis\tno\tnews to\tteachers.\tStudents\twho\tare\tanxious,\tangry,\tor\tdepressed\tdon't\tlearn;\tpeople who\tare\tcaught\tin\tthese\tstates\tdo\tnot\ttake\tin\tinformation\tefficiently\tor\tdeal\twith it\twell.\tAs\twe\tsaw\tin\tChapter\t5,\tpowerful\tnegative\temotions\ttwist\tattention toward\ttheir\town\tpreoccupations,\tinterfering\twith\tthe\tattempt\tto\tfocus","toward\ttheir\town\tpreoccupations,\tinterfering\twith\tthe\tattempt\tto\tfocus elsewhere.\tIndeed,\tone\tof\tthe\tsigns\tthat\tfeelings\thave\tveered\tover\tthe\tline\tinto the\tpathological\tis\tthat\tthey\tare\tso\tintrusive\tthey\toverwhelm\tall\tother\tthought, continually\tsabotaging\tattempts\tto\tpay\tattention\tto\twhatever\tother\ttask\tis\tat hand.\tFor\tthe\tperson\tgoing\tthrough\tan\tupsetting\tdivorce\u2014or\tthe\tchild\twhose parents\tare\u2014the\tmind\tdoes\tnot\tstay\tlong\ton\tthe\tcomparatively\ttrivial\troutines\tof the\twork\tor\tschool\tday;\tfor\tthe\tclinically\tdepressed,\tthoughts\tof\tself-pity\tand despair,\thopelessness\tand\thelplessness,\toverride\tall\tothers. When\temotions\toverwhelm\tconcentration,\twhat\tis\tbeing\tswamped\tis\tthe mental\tcapacity\tcognitive\tscientists\tcall\t\\\"working\tmemory,\\\"\tthe\tability\tto\thold\tin mind\tall\tinformation\trelevant\tto\tthe\ttask\tat\thand.\tWhat\toccupies\tworking memory\tcan\tbe\tas\tmundane\tas\tthe\tdigits\tthat\tcompose\ta\ttelephone\tnumber\tor\tas complicated\tas\tthe\tintricate\tplot\tlines\ta\tnovelist\tis\ttrying\tto\tweave\ttogether. Working\tmemory\tis\tan\texecutive\tfunction\tpar\texcellence\tin\tmental\tlife,\tmaking possible\tall\tother\tintellectual\tefforts,\tfrom\tspeaking\ta\tsentence\tto\ttackling\ta knotty\tlogical\tproposition.2\tThe\tprefrontal\tcortex\texecutes\tworking\tmemory\u2014 and,\tremember,\tis\twhere\tfeelings\tand\temotions\tmeet.3\tWhen\tthe\tlimbic\tcircuitry that\tconverges\ton\tthe\tprefrontal\tcortex\tis\tin\tthe\tthrall\tof\temotional\tdistress,\tone cost\tis\tin\tthe\teffectiveness\tof\tworking\tmemory:\twe\tcan't\tthink\tstraight,\tas\tI discovered\tduring\tthat\tdread\tcalculus\texam. On\tthe\tother\thand,\tconsider\tthe\trole\tof\tpositive\tmotivation\u2014the\tmarshaling\tof feelings\tof\tenthusiasm,\tzeal,\tand\tconfidence\u2014in\tachievement.\tStudies\tof Olympic\tathletes,\tworld-class\tmusicians,\tand\tchess\tgrand\tmasters\tfind\ttheir unifying\ttrait\tis\tthe\tability\tto\tmotivate\tthemselves\tto\tpursue\trelentless\ttraining routines.4\tAnd,\twith\ta\tsteady\trise\tin\tthe\tdegree\tof\texcellence\trequired\tto\tbe\ta world-class\tperformer,\tthese\trigorous\ttraining\troutines\tnow\tincreasingly\tmust begin\tin\tchildhood.\tAt\tthe\t1992\tOlympics,\ttwelve-year-old\tmembers\tof\tthe Chinese\tdiving\tteam\thad\tput\tin\tas\tmany\ttotal\tlifetime\tpractice\tdives\tas\thad members\tof\tthe\tAmerican\tteam\tin\ttheir\tearly\ttwenties\u2014the\tChinese\tdivers started\ttheir\trigorous\ttraining\tat\tage\tfour.\tLikewise,\tthe\tbest\tviolin\tvirtuosos\tof the\ttwentieth\tcentury\tbegan\tstudying\ttheir\tinstrument\tat\taround\tage\tfive; international\tchess\tchampions\tstarted\ton\tthe\tgame\tat\tan\taverage\tage\tof\tseven, while\tthose\twho\trose\tonly\tto\tnational\tprominence\tstarted\tat\tten.\tStarting\tearlier offers\ta\tlifetime\tedge:\tthe\ttop\tviolin\tstudents\tat\tthe\tbest\tmusic\tacademy\tin Berlin,\tall\tin\ttheir\tearly\ttwenties,\thad\tput\tin\tten\tthousand\ttotal\thours'\tlifetime practice,\twhile\tthe\tsecond-tier\tstudents\taveraged\taround\tseventy-five\thundred hours. What\tseems\tto\tset\tapart\tthose\tat\tthe\tvery\ttop\tof\tcompetitive\tpursuits\tfrom","What\tseems\tto\tset\tapart\tthose\tat\tthe\tvery\ttop\tof\tcompetitive\tpursuits\tfrom others\tof\troughly\tequal\tability\tis\tthe\tdegree\tto\twhich,\tbeginning\tearly\tin\tlife, they\tcan\tpursue\tan\tarduous\tpractice\troutine\tfor\tyears\tand\tyears.\tAnd\tthat doggedness\tdepends\ton\temotional\ttraits\u2014enthusiasm\tand\tpersistence\tin\tthe\tface of\tsetbacks\u2014above\tall\telse. The\tadded\tpayoff\tfor\tlife\tsuccess\tfrom\tmotivation,\tapart\tfrom\tother\tinnate abilities,\tcan\tbe\tseen\tin\tthe\tremarkable\tperformance\tof\tAsian\tstudents\tin American\tschools\tand\tprofessions.\tOne\tthorough\treview\tof\tthe\tevidence suggests\tthat\tAsian-American\tchildren\tmay\thave\tan\taverage\tIQ\tadvantage\tover whites\tof\tjust\ttwo\tor\tthree\tpoints.5\tYet\ton\tthe\tbasis\tof\tthe\tprofessions,\tsuch\tas law\tand\tmedicine,\tthat\tmany\tAsian-Americans\tend\tup\tin,\tas\ta\tgroup\tthey\tbehave as\tthough\ttheir\tIQ\twere\tmuch\thigher\u2014the\tequivalent\tof\tan\tIQ\tof\t110\tfor Japanese-Americans\tand\tof\t120\tfor\tChinese-Americans.\t6\tThe\treason\tseems\tto be\tthat\tfrom\tthe\tearliest\tyears\tof\tschool,\tAsian\tchildren\twork\tharder\tthan\twhites. Sanford\tDorenbusch,\ta\tStanford\tsociologist\twho\tstudied\tmore\tthan\tten\tthousand high-school\tstudents,\tfound\tthat\tAsian-Americans\tspent\t40\tpercent\tmore\ttime doing\thomework\tthan\tdid\tother\tstudents.\t\\\"While\tmost\tAmerican\tparents\tare willing\tto\taccept\ta\tchild's\tweak\tareas\tand\temphasize\tthe\tstrengths,\tfor\tAsians, the\tattitude\tis\tthat\tif\tyou're\tnot\tdoing\twell,\tthe\tanswer\tis\tto\tstudy\tlater\tat\tnight, and\tif\tyou\tstill\tdon't\tdo\twell,\tto\tget\tup\tand\tstudy\tearlier\tin\tthe\tmorning.\tThey believe\tthat\tanyone\tcan\tdo\twell\tin\tschool\twith\tthe\tright\teffort.\\\"\tIn\tshort,\ta\tstrong cultural\twork\tethic\ttranslates\tinto\thigher\tmotivation,\tzeal,\tand\tpersistence\u2014an emotional\tedge. To\tthe\tdegree\tthat\tour\temotions\tget\tin\tthe\tway\tof\tor\tenhance\tour\tability\tto think\tand\tplan,\tto\tpursue\ttraining\tfor\ta\tdistant\tgoal,\tto\tsolve\tproblems\tand\tthe like,\tthey\tdefine\tthe\tlimits\tof\tour\tcapacity\tto\tuse\tour\tinnate\tmental\tabilities,\tand so\tdetermine\thow\twe\tdo\tin\tlife.\tAnd\tto\tthe\tdegree\tto\twhich\twe\tare\tmotivated\tby feelings\tof\tenthusiasm\tand\tpleasure\tin\twhat\twe\tdo\u2014or\teven\tby\tan\toptimal degree\tof\tanxiety\u2014they\tpropel\tus\tto\taccomplishment.\tIt\tis\tin\tthis\tsense\tthat emotional\tintelligence\tis\ta\tmaster\taptitude,\ta\tcapacity\tthat\tprofoundly\taffects\tall other\tabilities,\teither\tfacilitating\tor\tinterfering\twith\tthem. IMPULSE\tCONTROL:\tTHE\tMARSHMALLOW\tTEST Just\timagine\tyou're\tfour\tyears\told,\tand\tsomeone\tmakes\tthe\tfollowing\tproposal: If\tyou'll\twait\tuntil\tafter\the\truns\tan\terrand,\tyou\tcan\thave\ttwo\tmarshmallows\tfor\ta treat.\tIf\tyou\tcan't\twait\tuntil\tthen,\tyou\tcan\thave\tonly\tone\u2014but\tyou\tcan\thave\tit right\tnow.\tIt\tis\ta\tchallenge\tsure\tto\ttry\tthe\tsoul\tof\tany\tfour-year-old,\ta\tmicrocosm of\tthe\teternal\tbattle\tbetween\timpulse\tand\trestraint,\tid\tand\tego,\tdesire\tand\tself-","of\tthe\teternal\tbattle\tbetween\timpulse\tand\trestraint,\tid\tand\tego,\tdesire\tand\tself- control,\tgratification\tand\tdelay.\tWhich\tof\tthese\tchoices\ta\tchild\tmakes\tis\ta\ttelling test;\tit\toffers\ta\tquick\treading\tnot\tjust\tof\tcharacter,\tbut\tof\tthe\ttrajectory\tthat\tchild will\tprobably\ttake\tthrough\tlife. There\tis\tperhaps\tno\tpsychological\tskill\tmore\tfundamental\tthan\tresisting impulse.\tIt\tis\tthe\troot\tof\tall\temotional\tself-control,\tsince\tall\temotions,\tby\ttheir very\tnature,\tlead\tto\tone\tor\tanother\timpulse\tto\tact.\tThe\troot\tmeaning\tof\tthe\tword emotion,\tremember,\tis\t\\\"to\tmove.\\\"\tThe\tcapacity\tto\tresist\tthat\timpulse\tto\tact,\tto squelch\tthe\tincipient\tmovement,\tmost\tlikely\ttranslates\tat\tthe\tlevel\tof\tbrain function\tinto\tinhibition\tof\tlimbic\tsignals\tto\tthe\tmotor\tcortex,\tthough\tsuch\tan interpretation\tmust\tremain\tspeculative\tfor\tnow. At\tany\trate,\ta\tremarkable\tstudy\tin\twhich\tthe\tmarshmallow\tchallenge\twas posed\tto\tfour-year-olds\tshows\tjust\thow\tfundamental\tis\tthe\tability\tto\trestrain\tthe emotions\tand\tso\tdelay\timpulse.\tBegun\tby\tpsychologist\tWalter\tMischel\tduring the\t1960s\tat\ta\tpreschool\ton\tthe\tStanford\tUniversity\tcampus\tand\tinvolving mainly\tchildren\tof\tStanford\tfaculty,\tgraduate\tstudents,\tand\tother\temployees,\tthe study\ttracked\tdown\tthe\tfour-year-olds\tas\tthey\twere\tgraduating\tfrom\thigh school.7 Some\tfour-year-olds\twere\table\tto\twait\twhat\tmust\tsurely\thave\tseemed\tan endless\tfifteen\tto\ttwenty\tminutes\tfor\tthe\texperimenter\tto\treturn.\tTo\tsustain themselves\tin\ttheir\tstruggle\tthey\tcovered\ttheir\teyes\tso\tthey\twouldn't\thave\tto stare\tat\ttemptation,\tor\trested\ttheir\theads\tin\ttheir\tarms,\ttalked\tto\tthemselves, sang,\tplayed\tgames\twith\ttheir\thands\tand\tfeet,\teven\ttried\tto\tgo\tto\tsleep.\tThese plucky\tpreschoolers\tgot\tthe\ttwo-marshmallow\treward.\tBut\tothers,\tmore impulsive,\tgrabbed\tthe\tone\tmarshmallow,\talmost\talways\twithin\tseconds\tof\tthe experimenter's\tleaving\tthe\troom\ton\this\t\\\"errand.\\\" The\tdiagnostic\tpower\tof\thow\tthis\tmoment\tof\timpulse\twas\thandled\tbecame clear\tsome\ttwelve\tto\tfourteen\tyears\tlater,\twhen\tthese\tsame\tchildren\twere\ttracked down\tas\tadolescents.\tThe\temotional\tand\tsocial\tdifference\tbetween\tthe\tgrab-the- marshmallow\tpreschoolers\tand\ttheir\tgratification-delaying\tpeers\twas\tdramatic. Those\twho\thad\tresisted\ttemptation\tat\tfour\twere\tnow,\tas\tadolescents,\tmore socially\tcompetent:\tpersonally\teffective,\tself-assertive,\tand\tbetter\table\tto\tcope with\tthe\tfrustrations\tof\tlife.\tThey\twere\tless\tlikely\tto\tgo\tto\tpieces,\tfreeze,\tor regress\tunder\tstress,\tor\tbecome\trattled\tand\tdisorganized\twhen\tpressured;\tthey embraced\tchallenges\tand\tpursued\tthem\tinstead\tof\tgiving\tup\teven\tin\tthe\tface\tof difficulties;\tthey\twere\tself-reliant\tand\tconfident,\ttrustworthy\tand\tdependable; and\tthey\ttook\tinitiative\tand\tplunged\tinto\tprojects.\tAnd,\tmore\tthan\ta\tdecade\tlater, they\twere\tstill\table\tto\tdelay\tgratification\tin\tpursuit\tof\ttheir\tgoals.","they\twere\tstill\table\tto\tdelay\tgratification\tin\tpursuit\tof\ttheir\tgoals. The\tthird\tor\tso\twho\tgrabbed\tfor\tthe\tmarshmallow,\thowever,\ttended\tto\thave fewer\tof\tthese\tqualities,\tand\tshared\tinstead\ta\trelatively\tmore\ttroubled psychological\tportrait.\tIn\tadolescence\tthey\twere\tmore\tlikely\tto\tbe\tseen\tas\tshying away\tfrom\tsocial\tcontacts;\tto\tbe\tstubborn\tand\tindecisive;\tto\tbe\teasily\tupset\tby frustrations;\tto\tthink\tof\tthemselves\tas\t\\\"bad\\\"\tor\tunworthy;\tto\tregress\tor\tbecome immobilized\tby\tstress;\tto\tbe\tmistrustful\tand\tresentful\tabout\tnot\t\\\"getting enough\\\";\tto\tbe\tprone\tto\tjealousy\tand\tenvy;\tto\toverreact\tto\tirritations\twith\ta\tsharp temper,\tso\tprovoking\targuments\tand\tfights.\tAnd,\tafter\tall\tthose\tyears,\tthey\tstill were\tunable\tto\tput\toff\tgratification. What\tshows\tup\tin\ta\tsmall\tway\tearly\tin\tlife\tblossoms\tinto\ta\twide\trange\tof social\tand\temotional\tcompetences\tas\tlife\tgoes\ton.\tThe\tcapacity\tto\timpose\ta delay\ton\timpulse\tis\tat\tthe\troot\tof\ta\tplethora\tof\tefforts,\tfrom\tstaying\ton\ta\tdiet\tto pursuing\ta\tmedical\tdegree.\tSome\tchildren,\teven\tat\tfour,\thad\tmastered\tthe\tbasics: they\twere\table\tto\tread\tthe\tsocial\tsituation\tas\tone\twhere\tdelay\twas\tbeneficial,\tto pry\ttheir\tattention\tfrom\tfocusing\ton\tthe\ttemptation\tat\thand,\tand\tto\tdistract themselves\twhile\tmaintaining\tthe\tnecessary\tperseverance\ttoward\ttheir\tgoal\u2014the two\tmarshmallows. Even\tmore\tsurprising,\twhen\tthe\ttested\tchildren\twere\tevaluated\tagain\tas\tthey were\tfinishing\thigh\tschool,\tthose\twho\thad\twaited\tpatiently\tat\tfour\twere\tfar superior\tas\tstudents\tto\tthose\twho\thad\tacted\ton\twhim.\tAccording\tto\ttheir\tparents' evaluations,\tthey\twere\tmore\tacademically\tcompetent:\tbetter\table\tto\tput\ttheir ideas\tinto\twords,\tto\tuse\tand\trespond\tto\treason,\tto\tconcentrate,\tto\tmake\tplans\tand follow\tthrough\ton\tthem,\tand\tmore\teager\tto\tlearn.\tMost\tastonishingly,\tthey\thad dramatically\thigher\tscores\ton\ttheir\tSAT\ttests.\tThe\tthird\tof\tchildren\twho\tat\tfour grabbed\tfor\tthe\tmarshmallow\tmost\teagerly\thad\tan\taverage\tverbal\tscore\tof\t524 and\tquantitative\t(or\t\\\"math\\\")\tscore\tof\t528;\tthe\tthird\twho\twaited\tlongest\thad average\tscores\tof\t610\tand\t652,\trespectively\u2014a\t210-point\tdifference\tin\ttotal score.8 At\tage\tfour,\thow\tchildren\tdo\ton\tthis\ttest\tof\tdelay\tof\tgratification\tis\ttwice\tas powerful\ta\tpredictor\tof\twhat\ttheir\tSAT\tscores\twill\tbe\tas\tis\tIQ\tat\tage\tfour;\tIQ becomes\ta\tstronger\tpredictor\tof\tSAT\tonly\tafter\tchildren\tlearn\tto\tread.9\tThis suggests\tthat\tthe\tability\tto\tdelay\tgratification\tcontributes\tpowerfully\tto intellectual\tpotential\tquite\tapart\tfrom\tIQ\titself.\t(Poor\timpulse\tcontrol\tin childhood\tis\talso\ta\tpowerful\tpredictor\tof\tlater\tdelinquency,\tagain\tmore\tso\tthan IQ.10\t)\tAs\twe\tshall\tsee\tin\tPart\tFive,\twhile\tsome\targue\tthat\tIQ\tcannot\tbe\tchanged and\tso\trepresents\tan\tunbendable\tlimitation\ton\ta\tchild's\tlife\tpotential,\tthere\tis","ample\tevidence\tthat\temotional\tskills\tsuch\tas\timpulse\tcontrol\tand\taccurately reading\ta\tsocial\tsituation\tcan\tbe\tlearned. What\tWalter\tMischel,\twho\tdid\tthe\tstudy,\tdescribes\twith\tthe\trather\tinfelicitous phrase\t\\\"goal-directed\tself-imposed\tdelay\tof\tgratification\\\"\tis\tperhaps\tthe\tessence of\temotional\tself-regulation:\tthe\tability\tto\tdeny\timpulse\tin\tthe\tservice\tof\ta\tgoal, whether\tit\tbe\tbuilding\ta\tbusiness,\tsolving\tan\talgebraic\tequation,\tor\tpursuing\tthe Stanley\tCup.\tHis\tfinding\tunderscores\tthe\trole\tof\temotional\tintelligence\tas\ta meta-ability,\tdetermining\thow\twell\tor\thow\tpoorly\tpeople\tare\table\tto\tuse\ttheir other\tmental\tcapacities. FOUL\tMOODS,\tFOULED\tTHINKING I\tworry\tabout\tmy\tson.\tHe\tjust\tstarted\tplaying\ton\tthe\tvarsity\tfootball\tteam,\tso he's\tbound\tto\tget\tan\tinjury\tsometime.\tIt's\tso\tnerve-wracking\tto\twatch\thim play\tthat\tI've\tstopped\tgoing\tto\this\tgames.\tI'm\tsure\tmy\tson\tmust\tbe disappointed\tthat\tI'm\tnot\twatching\thim\tplay,\tbut\tit's\tsimply\ttoo\tmuch\tfor\tme to\ttake. \t The\tspeaker\tis\tin\ttherapy\tfor\tanxiety;\tshe\trealizes\tthat\ther\tworry\tis\tinterfering with\tleading\tthe\tkind\tof\tlife\tshe\twould\tlike.11\tBut\twhen\tit\tcomes\ttime\tto\tmake\ta simple\tdecision,\tsuch\tas\twhether\tto\twatch\ther\tson\tplay\tfootball,\ther\tmind\tfloods with\tthoughts\tof\tdisaster.\tShe\tis\tnot\tfree\tto\tchoose;\ther\tworries\toverwhelm\ther reason. As\twe\thave\tseen,\tworry\tis\tthe\tnub\tof\tanxiety's\tdamaging\teffect\ton\tmental performance\tof\tall\tkind.\tWorry,\tof\tcourse,\tis\tin\tone\tsense\ta\tuseful\tresponse\tgone awry\u2014an\toverly\tzealous\tmental\tpreparation\tfor\tan\tanticipated\tthreat.\tBut\tsuch mental\trehearsal\tis\tdisastrous\tcognitive\tstatic\twhen\tit\tbecomes\ttrapped\tin\ta\tstale routine\tthat\tcaptures\tattention,\tintruding\ton\tall\tother\tattempts\tto\tfocus\telsewhere. Anxiety\tundermines\tthe\tintellect.\tIn\ta\tcomplex,\tintellectually\tdemanding,\tand high-pressure\ttask\tsuch\tas\tthat\tof\tair\ttraffic\tcontrollers,\tfor\texample,\thaving chronically\thigh\tanxiety\tis\tan\talmost\tsure\tpredictor\tthat\ta\tperson\twill\teventually fail\tin\ttraining\tor\tin\tthe\tfield.\tThe\tanxious\tare\tmore\tlikely\tto\tfail\teven\tgiven superior\tscores\ton\tintelligence\ttests,\tas\ta\tstudy\tof\t1,790\tstudents\tin\ttraining\tfor air\ttraffic\tcontrol\tposts\tdiscovered.12\tAnxiety\talso\tsabotages\tacademic performance\tof\tall\tkinds:\t126\tdifferent\tstudies\tof\tmore\tthan\t36,000\tpeople\tfound that\tthe\tmore\tprone\tto\tworries\ta\tperson\tis,\tthe\tpoorer\ttheir\tacademic","performance,\tno\tmatter\thow\tmeasured\u2014grades\ton\ttests,\tgrade-point\taverage,\tor achievement\ttests.13 When\tpeople\twho\tare\tprone\tto\tworry\tare\tasked\tto\tperform\ta\tcognitive\ttask such\tas\tsorting\tambiguous\tobjects\tinto\tone\tof\ttwo\tcategories,\tand\tnarrate\twhat\tis going\tthrough\ttheir\tmind\tas\tthey\tdo\tso,\tit\tis\tthe\tnegative\tthoughts\u2014\\\"I\twon't\tbe able\tto\tdo\tthis,\\\"\t\\\"I'm\tjust\tno\tgood\tat\tthis\tkind\tof\ttest,\\\"\tand\tthe\tlike\u2014that\tare found\tto\tmost\tdirectly\tdisrupt\ttheir\tdecision-making.\tIndeed,\twhen\ta\tcomparison group\tof\tnonworriers\twas\tasked\tto\tworry\ton\tpurpose\tfor\tfifteen\tminutes,\ttheir ability\tto\tdo\tthe\tsame\ttask\tdeteriorated\tsharply.\tAnd\twhen\tthe\tworriers\twere given\ta\tfifteen-minute\trelaxation\tsession\u2014which\treduced\ttheir\tlevel\tof\tworrying \u2014before\ttrying\tthe\ttask,\tthey\thad\tno\tproblem\twith\tit.14 Test\tanxiety\twas\tfirst\tstudied\tscientifically\tin\tthe\t1960s\tby\tRichard\tAlpert, who\tconfessed\tto\tme\tthat\this\tinterest\twas\tpiqued\tbecause\tas\ta\tstudent\this\tnerves often\tmade\thim\tdo\tpoorly\ton\ttests,\twhile\this\tcolleague,\tRalph\tHaber,\tfound\tthat the\tpressure\tbefore\tan\texam\tactually\thelped\thim\tto\tdo\tbetter.15\tTheir\tresearch, among\tother\tstudies,\tshowed\tthat\tthere\tare\ttwo\tkinds\tof\tanxious\tstudents:\tthose whose\tanxiety\tundoes\ttheir\tacademic\tperformance,\tand\tthose\twho\tare\table\tto\tdo well\tdespite\tthe\tstress\u2014or,\tperhaps,\tbecause\tof\tit.16\tThe\tirony\tof\ttest\tanxiety\tis that\tthe\tvery\tapprehension\tabout\tdoing\twell\ton\tthe\ttest\tthat,\tideally,\tcan motivate\tstudents\tlike\tHaber\tto\tstudy\thard\tin\tpreparation\tand\tso\tdo\twell\tcan sabotage\tsuccess\tin\tothers.\tFor\tpeople\twho\tare\ttoo\tanxious,\tlike\tAlpert,\tthe pretest\tapprehension\tinterferes\twith\tthe\tclear\tthinking\tand\tmemory\tnecessary\tto study\teffectively,\twhile\tduring\tthe\ttest\tit\tdisrupts\tthe\tmental\tclarity\tessential\tfor doing\twell. The\tnumber\tof\tworries\tthat\tpeople\treport\twhile\ttaking\ta\ttest\tdirectly\tpredicts how\tpoorly\tthey\twill\tdo\ton\tit.17\tThe\tmental\tresources\texpended\ton\tone\tcognitive task\u2014the\tworrying\u2014simply\tdetract\tfrom\tthe\tresources\tavailable\tfor\tprocessing other\tinformation;\tif\twe\tare\tpreoccupied\tby\tworries\tthat\twe're\tgoing\tto\tflunk\tthe test\twe're\ttaking,\twe\thave\tthat\tmuch\tless\tattention\tto\texpend\ton\tfiguring\tout\tthe answers.\tOur\tworries\tbecome\tself-fulfilling\tprophecies,\tpropelling\tus\ttoward\tthe very\tdisaster\tthey\tpredict. People\twho\tare\tadept\tat\tharnessing\ttheir\temotions,\ton\tthe\tother\thand,\tcan\tuse anticipatory\tanxiety\u2014about\tan\tupcoming\tspeech\tor\ttest,\tsay\u2014to\tmotivate themselves\tto\tprepare\twell\tfor\tit,\tthereby\tdoing\twell.\tThe\tclassical\tliterature\tin psychology\tdescribes\tthe\trelationship\tbetween\tanxiety\tand\tperformance, including\tmental\tperformance,\tin\tterms\tof\tan\tupside-down\tU.\tAt\tthe\tpeak\tof\tthe inverted\tU\tis\tthe\toptimal\trelationship\tbetween\tanxiety\tand\tperformance,\twith\ta","inverted\tU\tis\tthe\toptimal\trelationship\tbetween\tanxiety\tand\tperformance,\twith\ta modicum\tof\tnerves\tpropelling\toutstanding\tachievement.\tBut\ttoo\tlittle\tanxiety\u2014 the\tfirst\tside\tof\tthe\tU\u2014brings\tabout\tapathy\tor\ttoo\tlittle\tmotivation\tto\ttry\thard enough\tto\tdo\twell,\twhile\ttoo\tmuch\tanxiety\u2014the\tother\tside\tof\tthe\tU\u2014sabotages any\tattempt\tto\tdo\twell. A\tmildly\telated\tstate\u2014hypomania,\tas\tit\tis\ttechnically\tcalled\u2014seems\toptimal for\twriters\tand\tothers\tin\tcreative\tcallings\tthat\tdemand\tfluidity\tand\timaginative diversity\tof\tthought;\tit\tis\tsomewhere\ttoward\tthe\tpeak\tof\tthat\tinverted\tU.\tBut\tlet that\teuphoria\tget\tout\tof\tcontrol\tto\tbecome\toutright\tmania,\tas\tin\tthe\tmood\tswings of\tmanic-depressives,\tand\tthe\tagitation\tundermines\tthe\tability\tto\tthink cohesively\tenough\tto\twrite\twell,\teven\tthough\tideas\tflow\tfreely\u2014indeed,\tmuch too\tfreely\tto\tpursue\tany\tone\tof\tthem\tfar\tenough\tto\tproduce\ta\tfinished\tproduct. Good\tmoods,\twhile\tthey\tlast,\tenhance\tthe\tability\tto\tthink\tflexibly\tand\twith more\tcomplexity,\tthus\tmaking\tit\teasier\tto\tfind\tsolutions\tto\tproblems,\twhether intellectual\tor\tinterpersonal.\tThis\tsuggests\tthat\tone\tway\tto\thelp\tsomeone\tthink through\ta\tproblem\tis\tto\ttell\tthem\ta\tjoke.\tLaughing,\tlike\telation,\tseems\tto\thelp people\tthink\tmore\tbroadly\tand\tassociate\tmore\tfreely,\tnoticing\trelationships\tthat might\thave\teluded\tthem\totherwise\u2014a\tmental\tskill\timportant\tnot\tjust\tin creativity,\tbut\tin\trecognizing\tcomplex\trelationships\tand\tforeseeing\tthe consequences\tof\ta\tgiven\tdecision. The\tintellectual\tbenefits\tof\ta\tgood\tlaugh\tare\tmost\tstriking\twhen\tit\tcomes\tto solving\ta\tproblem\tthat\tdemands\ta\tcreative\tsolution.\tOne\tstudy\tfound\tthat\tpeople who\thad\tjust\twatched\ta\tvideo\tof\ttelevision\tbloopers\twere\tbetter\tat\tsolving\ta puzzle\tlong\tused\tby\tpsychologists\tto\ttest\tcreative\tthinking.18\tIn\tthe\ttest\tpeople are\tgiven\ta\tcandle,\tmatches,\tand\ta\tbox\tof\ttacks\tand\tasked\tto\tattach\tthe\tcandle\tto a\tcorkboard\twall\tso\tit\twill\tburn\twithout\tdripping\twax\ton\tthe\tfloor.\tMost\tpeople given\tthis\tproblem\tfall\tinto\t\\\"functional\tfixedness,\\\"\tthinking\tabout\tusing\tthe objects\tin\tthe\tmost\tconventional\tways.\tBut\tthose\twho\thad\tjust\twatched\tthe funny\tfilm,\tcompared\tto\tothers\twho\thad\twatched\ta\tfilm\ton\tmath\tor\twho exercised,\twere\tmore\tlikely\tto\tsee\tan\talternative\tuse\tfor\tthe\tbox\tholding\tthe tacks,\tand\tso\tcome\tup\twith\tthe\tcreative\tsolution:\ttack\tthe\tbox\tto\tthe\twall\tand\tuse it\tas\ta\tcandle\tholder. Even\tmild\tmood\tchanges\tcan\tsway\tthinking.\tIn\tmaking\tplans\tor\tdecisions people\tin\tgood\tmoods\thave\ta\tperceptual\tbias\tthat\tleads\tthem\tto\tbe\tmore expansive\tand\tpositive\tin\ttheir\tthinking.\tThis\tis\tpartly\tbecause\tmemory\tis\tstate- specific,\tso\tthat\twhile\tin\ta\tgood\tmood\twe\tremember\tmore\tpositive\tevents;\tas\twe think\tover\tthe\tpros\tand\tcons\tof\ta\tcourse\tof\taction\twhile\tfeeling\tpleasant, memory\tbiases\tour\tweighing\tof\tevidence\tin\ta\tpositive\tdirection,\tmaking\tus\tmore likely\tto\tdo\tsomething\tslightly\tadventurous\tor\trisky,\tfor\texample.","likely\tto\tdo\tsomething\tslightly\tadventurous\tor\trisky,\tfor\texample. By\tthe\tsame\ttoken,\tbeing\tin\ta\tfoul\tmood\tbiases\tmemory\tin\ta\tnegative direction,\tmaking\tus\tmore\tlikely\tto\tcontract\tinto\ta\tfearful,\toverly\tcautious decision.\tEmotions\tout\tof\tcontrol\timpede\tthe\tintellect.\tBut,\tas\twe\tsaw\tin\tChapter 5,\twe\tcan\tbring\tout-of-control\temotions\tback\tinto\tline;\tthis\temotional competence\tis\tthe\tmaster\taptitude,\tfacilitating\tall\tother\tkinds\tof\tintelligence. Consider\tsome\tcases\tin\tpoint:\tthe\tbenefits\tof\thope\tand\toptimism,\tand\tthose soaring\tmoments\twhen\tpeople\toutdo\tthemselves. \t PANDORA'S\tBOX\tAND\tPOLLYANNA:\tTHE\tPOWER\tOF POSITIVE\tTHINKING \t College\tstudents\twere\tposed\tthe\tfollowing\thypothetical\tsituation: \t Although\tyou\tset\tyour\tgoal\tof\tgetting\ta\tB,\twhen\tyour\tfirst\texam\tscore,\tworth 30%\tof\tyour\tfinal\tgrade\tis\treturned,\tyou\thave\treceived\ta\tD.\tIt\tis\tnow\tone week\tafter\tyou\thave\tlearned\tabout\tthe\tD\tgrade.\tWhat\tdo\tyou\tdo?19 \t Hope\tmade\tall\tthe\tdifference.\tThe\tresponse\tby\tstudents\twith\thigh\tlevels\tof hope\twas\tto\twork\tharder\tand\tthink\tof\ta\trange\tof\tthings\tthey\tmight\ttry\tthat\tcould bolster\ttheir\tfinal\tgrade.\tStudents\twith\tmoderate\tlevels\tof\thope\tthought\tof several\tways\tthey\tmight\tup\ttheir\tgrade,\tbut\thad\tfar\tless\tdetermination\tto\tpursue them.\tAnd,\tunderstandably,\tstudents\twith\tlow\tlevels\tof\thope\tgave\tup\ton\tboth counts,\tdemoralized. The\tquestion\tis\tnot\tjust\ttheoretical,\thowever.\tWhen\tC.\tR.\tSnyder,\tthe University\tof\tKansas\tpsychologist\twho\tdid\tthis\tstudy,\tcompared\tthe\tactual academic\tachievement\tof\tfreshman\tstudents\thigh\tand\tlow\ton\thope,\the discovered\tthat\thope\twas\ta\tbetter\tpredictor\tof\ttheir\tfirst-semester\tgrades\tthan were\ttheir\tscores\ton\tthe\tSAT,\ta\ttest\tsupposedly\table\tto\tpredict\thow\tstudents\twill fare\tin\tcollege\t(and\thighly\tcorrelated\twith\tIQ).\tAgain,\tgiven\troughly\tthe\tsame range\tof\tintellectual\tabilities,\temotional\taptitudes\tmake\tthe\tcritical\tdifference. Snyder's\texplanation:\t\\\"Students\twith\thigh\thope\tset\tthemselves\thigher\tgoals","and\tknow\thow\tto\twork\thard\tto\tattain\tthem.\tWhen\tyou\tcompare\tstudents\tof equivalent\tintellectual\taptitude\ton\ttheir\tacademic\tachievements,\twhat\tsets\tthem apart\tis\thope.\\\"20 As\tthe\tfamiliar\tlegend\thas\tit,\tPandora,\ta\tprincess\tof\tancient\tGreece,\twas\tgiven a\tgift,\ta\tmysterious\tbox,\tby\tgods\tjealous\tof\ther\tbeauty.\tShe\twas\ttold\tshe\tmust never\topen\tthe\tgift.\tBut\tone\tday,\tovercome\tby\tcuriosity\tand\ttemptation,\tPandora lifted\tthe\tlid\tto\tpeek\tin,\tletting\tloose\tin\tthe\tworld\tthe\tgrand\tafflictions\u2014disease, malaise,\tmadness.\tBut\ta\tcompassionate\tgod\tlet\ther\tclose\tthe\tbox\tjust\tin\ttime\tto capture\tthe\tone\tantidote\tthat\tmakes\tlife's\tmisery\tbearable:\thope. Hope,\tmodern\tresearchers\tare\tfinding,\tdoes\tmore\tthan\toffer\ta\tbit\tof\tsolace amid\taffliction;\tit\tplays\ta\tsurprisingly\tpotent\trole\tin\tlife,\toffering\tan\tadvantage\tin realms\tas\tdiverse\tas\tschool\tachievement\tand\tbearing\tup\tin\tonerous\tjobs.\tHope, in\ta\ttechnical\tsense,\tis\tmore\tthan\tthe\tsunny\tview\tthat\teverything\twill\tturn\tout\tall right.\tSnyder\tdefines\tit\twith\tmore\tspecificity\tas\t\\\"believing\tyou\thave\tboth\tthe will\tand\tthe\tway\tto\taccomplish\tyour\tgoals,\twhatever\tthey\tmay\tbe.\\\" People\ttend\tto\tdiffer\tin\tthe\tgeneral\tdegree\tto\twhich\tthey\thave\thope\tin\tthis sense.\tSome\ttypically\tthink\tof\tthemselves\tas\table\tto\tget\tout\tof\ta\tjam\tor\tfind ways\tto\tsolve\tproblems,\twhile\tothers\tsimply\tdo\tnot\tsee\tthemselves\tas\thaving\tthe energy,\tability,\tor\tmeans\tto\taccomplish\ttheir\tgoals.\tPeople\twith\thigh\tlevels\tof hope,\tSnyder\tfinds,\tshare\tcertain\ttraits,\tamong\tthem\tbeing\table\tto\tmotivate themselves,\tfeeling\tresourceful\tenough\tto\tfind\tways\tto\taccomplish\ttheir objectives,\treassuring\tthemselves\twhen\tin\ta\ttight\tspot\tthat\tthings\twill\tget\tbetter, being\tflexible\tenough\tto\tfind\tdifferent\tways\tto\tget\tto\ttheir\tgoals\tor\tto\tswitch goals\tif\tone\tbecomes\timpossible,\tand\thaving\tthe\tsense\tto\tbreak\tdown\ta formidable\ttask\tinto\tsmaller,\tmanageable\tpieces. From\tthe\tperspective\tof\temotional\tintelligence,\thaving\thope\tmeans\tthat\tone will\tnot\tgive\tin\tto\toverwhelming\tanxiety,\ta\tdefeatist\tattitude,\tor\tdepression\tin the\tface\tof\tdifficult\tchallenges\tor\tsetbacks.\tIndeed,\tpeople\twho\tare\thopeful evidence\tless\tdepression\tthan\tothers\tas\tthey\tmaneuver\tthrough\tlife\tin\tpursuit\tof their\tgoals,\tare\tless\tanxious\tin\tgeneral,\tand\thave\tfewer\temotional\tdistresses. OPTIMISM:\tTHE\tGREAT\tMOTIVATOR Americans\twho\tfollow\tswimming\thad\thigh\thopes\tfor\tMatt\tBiondi,\ta\tmember\tof the\tU.S.\tOlympic\tTeam\tin\t1988.\tSome\tsportswriters\twere\ttouting\tBiondi\tas likely\tto\tmatch\tMark\tSpitz's\t1972\tfeat\tof\ttaking\tseven\tgold\tmedals.\tBut\tBiondi finished\ta\theartbreaking\tthird\tin\this\tfirst\tevent,\tthe\t200-meter\tfreestyle.\tIn\this next\tevent,\tthe\t100-meter\tbutterfly,\tBiondi\twas\tinched\tout\tfor\tthe\tgold\tby"]
Search
Read the Text Version
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
- 97
- 98
- 99
- 100
- 101
- 102
- 103
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- 109
- 110
- 111
- 112
- 113
- 114
- 115
- 116
- 117
- 118
- 119
- 120
- 121
- 122
- 123
- 124
- 125
- 126
- 127
- 128
- 129
- 130
- 131
- 132
- 133
- 134
- 135
- 136
- 137
- 138
- 139
- 140
- 141
- 142
- 143
- 144
- 145
- 146
- 147
- 148
- 149
- 150
- 151
- 152
- 153
- 154
- 155
- 156
- 157
- 158
- 159
- 160
- 161
- 162
- 163
- 164
- 165
- 166
- 167
- 168
- 169
- 170
- 171
- 172
- 173
- 174
- 175
- 176
- 177
- 178
- 179
- 180
- 181
- 182
- 183
- 184
- 185
- 186
- 187
- 188
- 189
- 190
- 191
- 192
- 193
- 194
- 195
- 196
- 197
- 198
- 199
- 200
- 201
- 202
- 203
- 204
- 205
- 206
- 207
- 208
- 209
- 210
- 211
- 212
- 213
- 214
- 215
- 216
- 217
- 218
- 219
- 220
- 221
- 222
- 223
- 224
- 225
- 226
- 227
- 228
- 229
- 230
- 231
- 232
- 233
- 234
- 235
- 236
- 237
- 238
- 239
- 240
- 241
- 242
- 243
- 244
- 245
- 246
- 247
- 248
- 249
- 250
- 251
- 252
- 253
- 254
- 255
- 256
- 257
- 258
- 259
- 260
- 261
- 262
- 263
- 264
- 265
- 266
- 267
- 268
- 269
- 270
- 271
- 272
- 273
- 274
- 275
- 276
- 277
- 278
- 279
- 280
- 281
- 282
- 283
- 284
- 285
- 286
- 287
- 288
- 289
- 290
- 291
- 292
- 293
- 294
- 295
- 296
- 297
- 298
- 299
- 300
- 301
- 302
- 303
- 304
- 305
- 306
- 307
- 308
- 309
