The Kharisma Magazine - Premier Issue

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 2512. Thermic Effect of FoodThis fancy phrase is simply the name for energy used up as aresult of digesting and absorbing a meal. Different foods gothrough different metabolic pathways. Therefore, they useless or more energy to be metabolized.Take protein for example. The metabolic pathways forprotein are less efficient (meaning it spends more energy)than the metabolic pathways for carbs and fat. In otherwords, you have to put almost twice as much energy tometabolize protein as you do to carbohydrates.We can say that calories from protein are less fattening than (with vitamins, minerals, and fibre), while table sugar is halfcalories from carbs and fat because protein takes more glucose and half fructose (no nutrition). That means that theenergy to be metabolized. same 100 calories will have a different reaction in our body.3. Protein Kills Appetite 5. Empty CaloriesOne of the secrets to fat loss is the control of appetite. This is my favourite reason why a calorie is not a calorie. I loveAnd one of the tricks to taking control over appetite is focusing on the quality of food instead of quantity becauseto increase your intake of protein. Protein is the most of the nutritional value that each food has. Obviously, 100fulfilling macronutrient by far. I can tell you from personal calories of egg is not the same as 100 calories of processedexperience that when I don’t have animal protein (meat/ juice. You get it right?!chicken/fish/pork or eggs) with my lunch or dinner, I will behungry very soon. Real food (like kale) has vitamins, minerals, fibre, enzymes, phytonutrients, antioxidants, and possibly dozens of otherA study found that those who increased their protein intake chemical substances that we don’t even recognize yet. Onto 30% of calories, automatically started eating 441 fewer the other hand, processed juice has pretty much nothingcalories per day and lost 4.9 kg (11 lbs) in 12 weeks. And that but sugar. That is what we call EMPTY CALORIES. It isis without counting calories. It happened automatically due lacking nutrients. So, focusing on the quality of the foodto the different levels of satiety. One more reason why a over the number of calories is key to success when tryingcalorie is not a calorie. to be healthy.4. Different Molecular Structure Takeaway:Here is one of the most important conceptions that I would The most important message of this whole article is tolike you to understand. When we talk about sugar, we are not change your mindset when thinking about food. Forgettalking about just one molecule. We are talking about TWO: about calories! They are not that important. A few decadesglucose and fructose. Glucose can be metabolized in every ago, we didn’t know what a calorie was, but we were muchcell of our organism (every body’s tissue can burn glucose healthier than we are today, which shows us that we don’tfor energy). On the other hand, fructose is a completely have to know how many calories are in our meals.different molecule and it can only be metabolized by theliver in any significant amount. That means that 100 caloriesof glucose is going to have a different effect in the body whencompared to 100 calories of fructose.A good practical example is to take 100 calories of potatoand 100 calories of table sugar. Potato is purely glucoseINSIDE OUT About the Author: Bruno Da Gama is a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, Personal Trainer & Holistic Lifestyle Coach. He teaches his clients how to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for the Rest of their Lives. brazilianhealthnut.com

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 252 Giving Yourself the Gift of Self-Care WRITTEN BY COLLEEN ELLIOTT FROM THE

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINEYou may or may not be aware that the concept 253of self-care originated in the healthcare field. It is traditionally 2. Think daily, weekly, and monthlydefined as “any intentional actions you take to care for yourphysical, mental, and emotional health.” In essence, it is at self-care needsthe opposite end of the spectrum from being taken care of byothers, and puts the responsibility directly on us to take care To break the habit of thinking of self-care as an ‘only whenof our own needs. Self-care is understanding and meeting needed’ thing, I advise considering your daily, weekly, andyour own needs, prefaced by knowledge of self and giving monthly needs for self care. Daily self-care might look likeyourself permission to take care of yourself. prayer, journaling, stretching and movement, going to bed on time, or eating well. Weekly self-care might look like attendingWomen who prioritize self-care cope better with daily a spiritual celebration, going to therapy or a support group,stressors, are less on edge, more in-tune with their thoughts, spending time with family or friends, buying yourself someemotions, and body, and have a balanced perspective on life. flowers, sleeping in on your day off, or cooking yourself aThey understand that everything is not in their control and wonderful meal. Self-care on a monthly basis might look likethat they cannot control others; only how they themselves a massage or visit to a spa, a day spent in silence, a detox,show up. They see self-care as a precursor to being able to reading a book, or de-cluttering your space.effectively serve others and maintain healthy relationships,not simply another ‘good’ thing to do. They know that the only 3. Schedule your self-carething that truly stands between them and doing self-care isa decision. According to Parkinson’s Law, “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” So if we do not givePart of the reason self-care is not valued is because we ourselves permission and time to rejuvenate our minds,have been taught to rely on external factors such as our bodies, and spirits, naturally all the other things on our to-achievements in business, finance, relationships, career, do lists will simply fill that space. You may not have one hourfamily, education, etc. to feel good about ourselves. But when every day to exercise, so commit to a shorter period of timewe are over-reliant on external success, we run the risk of daily and do a longer session when you have more time. Weover-doing and over-giving to feel a sense of satisfaction often stop ourselves before we start because we make too bigand ultimately end up in burnout. It’s only when we reach of a commitment. Break your self-care activities into bite-burnout, overcome with stress, illness, or exhaustion, that size chunks so they can be easily fit into your day.we are encouraged to ‘ramp up’ the self-care. However, if weproactively practice self-care, we develop the ability to live 4. Combine your self-care withour best, healthiest lives despite the challenges we will face. other activitiesHere are some tips for easily and successfully integratingself-care into your life: Who said self-care has to be done alone! Make a date with someone special - a family member or friend - to do self-care1. Take a holistic approach to self care together. For example, take in a movie, take an exercise class together, enjoy a healthy meal, or go dancing. Keep in mind,Self-care involves mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual self-care does not always have to be an activity. It can alsohealth. Many of us are aware of the physical and emotional mean just taking time to be and do nothing! The key is to tuneneeds but often neglect spiritual and mental needs. It is easy in and understand what you need at any given time to beto overlook negative thoughts that begin creeping in until we your best.begin to feel despair. Begin to think of your self-care as morethan your feelings and your body. When done proactively, self-care is an empowered, intentional action that you will profit from exponentially. Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. To live your best life and have the energy to have a positive impact on the lives of others, you must make self-care a priority. A woman who takes her self-care seriously exudes self-worth and is an icon of self-possession.INSIDE OUT

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 254 4 Things You Need to Master to Become a “Go-To” Person in Your Niche! WRITTEN BY SOPHIE ARELI I wasn’t the main photographer. My camera and I had been hired for something else. Yet, so many kids and teens at the Sweet Sixteen kept coming up to me all night to have their pictures taken. Even though I was just starting out, I ended up being a “go to” photographer at the event. You may not be a photographer, but what I learned at that event can still apply to your business. Here are four things you need to do to become a “go to” person in your niche, even if you’re the new girl in town! FROM THE

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 255 1. Your personality needs to be inviting 3. Your knowledge needs to be up to I was born and raised in New York City so I can tell you that date, and in tune with your industry ice cream truck owners get a lot of business during the warm months there. However, no matter how much young I’ll let you in on a little secret. Before my camera and I adults like frozen treats, they do NOT like bad attitudes. I’ve would arrive at any event I was hired for, I would scroll overheard plenty of school kids advising their friends not through Pinterest and Google Images to see what other to go to certain vendors because of how poorly they were photographers were producing. Browsing through those treated. And, word of mouth travels fast! Something as photographs would keep me up to date on the kind of poses simple as, “Don’t buy from her because she’s grumpy!” can and shots that were trending at the moment. That’s not become a made-up story like, “Don’t buy from her because cheating; that’s researching and staying up to date on what’s she’s rude, her ice cream tastes nasty, and she doesn’t even popular in your industry at the moment. When you take the have a license!” time to get to know what’s trending in your niche, you will have a better understanding of what potential clients like Seriously. School kids are like that. And, guess what? Some and dislike. You’ll be able to create better content for your adults are like that, too! Do yourself a favour and learn website. And, when consumers ask you questions, they to master your emotions. As a photographer, I had to will be impressed with the way you seem to anticipate their understand that after a while, people get tired of smiling for needs. Comb through social media posts, youtube videos, the camera, and that’s okay. Your customers won’t always be magazines, newspapers, and even books in order to become smiling at you, but that doesn’t mean you have to take your savvy in topics relevant to your industry. That way when cues from them. Maintain your good manners and positive others ask you questions about what you do, you will always attitude anyway. How you treat others will determine be prepared to give interesting and informative answers. whether or not you get repeat customers and/or referrals. 4. Your website needs to embody the 2. Your appearance needs to match up three things we just went over with what you’re saying I’ve got some questions for you to think through: 1. What Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr have all taught experience are people getting when they go to your website? us that most people are attracted to images. Ads with 2. Is your online space inviting to your target market? 3. Are pictures and quotes that have been “prettied up” do much the pictures you have up on your site able to attract your better than ads without an image or plain words. Therefore, ideal clients? 4. Are you sharing valuable content about your your consumers will most likely meet your appearance niche in your blog posts? There have been times when I was before they meet your words. Keeping that in mind, your attracted to a brand on Instagram or Facebook, but then appearance needs to match up with the claims you make when I got to their website I was turned off or uninterested. in your business. Have you seen those Facebook ads that The brands had missed the mark in terms of making their promise to teach others how to generate six-figure incomes? sites user friendly, appealing, or knowledgeable. We have There’s nothing wrong with ads like that. However, some of to realize that there are tons of business websites out them aren’t very convincing. I just don’t understand how there for people to land on, and all it takes are low-quality someone making all that money can be wearing jeans and photos to make someone click off of your site and head on a sloppy t-shirt in their advertisement. People want to see over to someone else’s. When you take the time to update how money has elevated someone in an ad. So, how are they your photos and create an online experience that’s nice going to teach someone how to make their first $100,000 for others, people are more likely to stay and explore your with an appearance that’s similar to the person who wants website. An appealing website also makes it easier for to learn from them? As business owners, we must learn to consumers to feel good about sharing your content. Those look the part. When you invest in your appearance, your social media shares will add up and put you on the right words will hold more weight with consumers who see you path towards becoming a “go to” person in your niche! for the first time. Entrepreneur Nikki Elledge Brown has done a great job doing this. As someone who teaches others About the Author: Around the clock, Sophie Areli is a wife and mom how to write copy, she’s figured out a very creative way to to the world’s most amazing superheroes! In her spare time, Sophie make words attractive! is the CEO and founder of Your Podcast Show - a four month “GET IT DONE” experience designed to help introverted women in businessINSIDE OUT get seen,heard, and paid with their own podcast show and professional website. Visit Sophie online here: yourpodcastshow.com

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 256 Preventing Weight Gain While Travelling: A Practical Guide WRITTEN BY MILAN PERRY Summer is here, and vacation planning has been well underway for most. An interesting travel survey from Forbes stated that “women make 80% of the travel decisions and are expected to spend $125 billion this year on travel alone. The adventure traveller is no longer the 28-year-old male, but a 47-year-old female…and she wears a size 12”! Many busy, professional women like you may find that adopting principles of a healthy lifestyle can be quite a challenge, especially when your business consumes not just your time but most of your energy as well. Travel plans tend to be more stressful when you try to lose ‘a lot of weight’ within a short span of time leading up to your trip. Your normal, physical makeup doesn’t respond well to deprivation or starvation. The yo-yo diets, cleanses, and fasting wreak havoc on your digestive and nervous systems, and cause the reverse effect of retaining more weight than before you started. The truth is that none of these weight-loss methods are sustainable long-term. So what are some practical strategies and tips to use for healthy weight management while travelling on business, holiday, or vacation? FROM THE

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 257 Don’t Sauce It Up! Limit Your Red Wine Love Affair Once you do arrive at your hotel conference or resort, you Limiting travel weight gain can are famished! All you can think also mean limiting your alcohol about is getting those gorgeously intake. Vacation travel is not manicured hands around a heavy a ‘free pass’ to drink as if you — saucy — calorie-dripping will never drink again. Wine entrée oozing with loads of was originally produced as a butter and heavy crème. Many complement to the meal and was bistros and restaurants in exotic meant to be consumed with food, cities encourage heavy eating since plentiful drinking water and drinking for tourists, while was scarce in many European promoting menus featuring countries. “Food and wine that decadently rich cuisines. You’re grows together pairs together.” thinking, “Hey, why not indulge This simply means that if you a little? You only live once! When are eating a Spanish entrée in Rome…! After all, I am here to (vegetables, herbs, and spices enjoy myself—right? What’s the that are native to Spain), then harm?” Well (clichés aside), “the choose a vintage of wine from harm” shows up later—trust me! that region. This will regulate Your adventure has ended and you’re back at home in front your appetite as your palate will feel more satisfied. Wine of the mirror trying to figure out how to start all over again. has sugar and calories, so only have one 4 oz. glass per day. The other times, choose a beverage like sparking water with Look Before You Dine lime or tea. Always ‘look before you dine’. You can catch a sneak peek at Move That Body! the menu online to determine if the listed entrées are really conducive to a moderate calorie meal. That doesn’t mean you No one goes on vacations to exercise. But the one thing have to limit your selections to only the vegan or vegetarian that you absolutely can do while travelling is walk. Walking choices. Vacations are about exciting discoveries—so have is a therapeutic, heart-healthy, calorie-burning, muscle fun sampling some diverse foods. But you need to fight tone-defining, cardio-building, back-strengthening, fat- the natural impulse to ‘go ALL OUT’! Portion control and slimming, people-watching, exotic-locale-and-hidden- balance is always the key. gem-discovering best exercise ever! It can be done anywhere, any time, and with anyone. You can even start If you decide that the menu you found will destroy all your before your vacation and walk the airport terminal to burn efforts for weight loss, then pick another place to dine. Don’t off some calories. allow the natural tendency to be lazy and eat at whatever’s close by—this keeps you stuck in a ‘fat-food spiral’ that Now is the most wonderful time to set the stage for the rest of doesn’t cater to your healthy lifestyle. Don’t be influenced your life. SoNaturelle Wellness works with busy professional by the masses. Your family member/work colleague/friend women all over the world and can assist you with your will not have a problem with changing it up. Make a mental wellness goals. As with any change to your nutrition or affirmation that whatever decadent and rich food, drink, lifestyle habits, you should consult your physician or or dessert you decide to sample, it will only be one for the healthcare provider before making travel plans. day: a cheat-food reward for maintaining a healthy food regimen, or deciding to lose weight. Be sure not to choose a About the Author: Milan C. Perry is a Healthy Living Expert, Gourmet food that you were previously addicted to… “Know thyself.” Chef, and Founder of SoNaturelle Wellness, which features her highly acclaimed program, Chic Women Don’t Diet: Sophisticated HealthyINSIDE OUT Living for the Business Traveler Age 40+. She works with clients who yearn for a new experience in wellness transformation. Catch her latest post on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, connect with her on LinkedIn, view her videos on YouTube, or subscribe to her newsletter. To schedule a FREE 30-min discovery session with Milan, visit ‘Chic Women Don’t Diet’. sonaturellewellness.com

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 258 Lets Start a StressLess Revolution and Give Back to Life WRITTEN BY KARINA STEPHENS (PARTS OF THIS ARTICLE WERE TAKEN FROM THE BOOK, THE STRESSLESS REVOLUTION BY KARINA JOY STEPHENS) “We have to become the best version of ourselves we FROM THE can be; that is our sacred human contract.”—Albert Einstein How right you were, Mr. Einstein: to live the most ethical lives we can is the key to a kinder world. When we devote our lives to becoming the best version of ourselves, we undertake the most extraordinary adventure imaginable. Awareness is power. It provides us with the power to change. If we are not aware of why we do what we do even though we know what we know, how can we even think to make an impact on this world in our lifetime? Emotions and feelings are there to guide us home, to our inner home. Yet we tend to ignore or suppress the ones that make us feel less than great. We don’t like to go there because we fear what the answer may be. Purpose- based leaders are the ones that go there because they know that when you shine a light on the darkness it disappears. When we do the inner work, then the outer work is magnified. When we break through limiting beliefs and sabotaging habits, we have the key to unlock our genius. What used to stress us out no longer bothers us. We play a bigger game, and in doing so, we have the potential to create a larger impact on the world. The documentary Unity by director Shaun Monson explores humanity’s hopeful transformation from living by killing, into living by loving. It is a unique film about compassion for all beings, or all expressions of life going

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 259beyond all separation based on form and beyond perceiving body can literally heal your life. Our truth leads us to our divineopposites. potential. When we really, truly love ourselves and honour the truth of who we are, we break through whatever limits us.The world is calling us to wake up and step into our light; Creativity explodes, serendipity dances with synchronicity,to express the truth of who we are in the service of what we and life as we know it will never be the same again.are called to do. What if we didn’t let fear, stress, and fatigueslow us down? Where would you be if Our body aligns with its natural state - free ofyou had more than enough energy to What if toxicity, blocked from chronic stress, disease,make it through your day? And what if and stress - then the organs and systems havethat day involved you doing something a chance to completely recharge when resting.that helped heal our planet in some we didn’t let Then when you go about your day, your bodysmall but significant way?Imagine putting voice and action to fear, stress, can operate at optimal capacity, being fully awake, present, and charged with a magnifiedyour calling because you overcame and fatigue life-force, where all areas of life start to comethe struggle involved in reaching that into balance. We all want the same things: tocalling. Think of how amazing it will love and be loved, to matter, to feel worthy,feel when you achieve your desires and to be the best we can be; yet we let our thoughts get in the way of experiencing all ofslow us down?because you decided to become thebest possible version of yourself. this. We rush around trying to prove ourselves, and all we gain in the process is to feel like weWhen coming up with the name of the StressLess Revolution, are still not good enough. We race after this goal and that goal,I debated and pondered long and hard if revolution was all the time forgetting that the ultimate goal is to know peace,the correct word. To me, it felt more stressful rather than joy, and love.‘StressLess’. We create a revolution by change, by sayingenough is enough. When I meditated on this, what I felt was We live unconscious lives, moving with whatever pace societyrevolution needs to come from evolution. Meaning, we need dictates; but life has a different pace, and it’s here whereto evolve and grow and raise our vibration, and as we do, we you step off the treadmill and onto a road that will lead youbecome the empowered beings capable of creating change towards more happiness than you can imagine. This road isin this world. If anything, I think that what we have learnt by not governed by dictatorship; it is not fuelled with unkindnesstoday’s fast-food, fast-paced, ‘ASAP rat race’ is that it’s not and fear. This road is your road: you decide where it leads,really working for us. We are more stressed-out than ever you dictate the outcome, and you determine the elements itbefore. Our planet has never been in such a state of disease, is made up of. You get to decide how fast or how slow you goour animals are suffering, and I believe it has never been based on divine guidance.more important to wake up and do something. This road can be made up of untruths and fears, it can beAs we take the time to work on our inner world, our outer ruled by the ego, and based on the premise that this is the wayworld will alchemise. When your body is in alignment it’s always been done. Or it can be the road less travelled, thewith your life purpose, your purpose lines up with your one where truth lights your way, where there is only love, andlife. We become conscious leaders in our families, in our where choices made from grace and mercy result in a kinderneighbourhood, our community, and in our circle of world for all species.influence. It’s your choice: are you going to let stress, struggle, andMarianne Williamson once wrote, “I will go at the slowest fatigue keep you on the treadmill, always seeing the samepart of me.” That’s what conscious StressLess leaders do. things, never getting anywhere, just repeating the sameTheir lives are integrated with habits, rituals, and beliefs day every day? Or are you going to choose ease, joy, andthat minimise the stress in their lives, which, in turn, keeps abundance, living life at the Pace of Grace and create athem in the groove of life. Conscious communication with StressLess Revolution?your inner self will set you apart from everyone else for life.Being aware of your beliefs, your internal dialogue, your I pray you come and evolve with me xxthoughts and feelings, and the physical sensations in your Copyright 2016 Karina StephensINSIDE OUT About the Author: Kharina Stephens is a modern day alchemist, author of The StressLess Revolution, and creator of www.enrichretreat.com.

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 260 A Royal Elixir, Fit for a Queen The Brain Boosting and Beautifying Elixir That Will Help You to Burn More Fat, Balance Your Hormones, and Promote Youthful Longevity. WRITTEN BY BRYAN HARDY We’ve all been there, powering through our days and reaching for teas, coffees, and baked treats to stay energized and focused. Now, I’m all for things like green tea, black tea, coffee, or espresso if they work for you. But if you’re taking these with milk and sweeteners, and if you’re finding that you’re reliant on the stimulation in order to function, then you’re likely sabotaging your performance without even knowing it. My Beef with Milk There are a few problems with commercial and - especially - low fat dairy. The main ones are that most of us are sensitive or intolerant to either one or both of lactose (the main dairy sugar) or casein (a dairy protein). Therefore, even small amounts - although they might not cause very pronounced symptoms like gas or nausea - are still causing stress to your immune system, your gut, and your adrenal glands (the little glands that live atop your kidneys and produce stress and sex hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine, testosterone, and estrogen). FROM THE

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 261 Sweet Misery Safer Sweeteners> When it comes to sweeteners, be it table sugar, honey, or the We don’t have to deprive ourselves from sweet tastes either! more insidious artificial sweeteners like Splenda, Aspartame, Rather, we need to choose higher quality sweetner options Acesulfame Potassium, Sweet’n Low etc., we can do alot better. such as Stevia, Erythritol, Xylitol or Monk fruit extract, all This constant intake of sugar / artificial sweets stimulates of which have minimal impact on blood sugar and, thereby, insulin release and throws off the balance of healthy bacteria don’t contribute to the kind of issues associated with added which, over the long term, can contribute to issues like brain sugars or artificial sweeteners. fog, type II diabetes, weight gain, Alzheimer’s (a.k.a. type III diabetes) and countless other health challenges. Now that we’ve answered the why of this scenario, let’s get into the what and how with a delicious recipe that is sure to Happy Gut, Happy Brain satisfy and have you feeling like royalty. We know from modern science as well as ancient wisdom Raw Cacao and Cinnamon Coconut Elixir: that health begins in the gut, and that most of our Ingredients: neurotransmitters and “feel good” brain chemicals – such as dopamine and serotonin – are actually produced in the gut 1 tbsp raw cacao powder and are dependent on having low levels of inflammation and high levels of healthy gut bacteria. These two things are hard 1 tbsp cacao butter to maintain when we ingest excess refined sugars or artificial sweeteners on a regular basis. 1 tbsp full fat coconut milk or coconut oil or MCT Oil (start with 1 tsp and work up if you’ve never used MCT oils before) Rather than using these lower quality ingredients and short- changing our health, we can learn to create delicious, high 1/2 tsp Ceylon cinnamon (true cinnamon) – balances blood sugar / fat, and sugar-free concoctions that serve to balance our insulin and tastes great hormones and nourish our bodies, thereby allowing us to show up as our most vibrant, energetic, and powerful selves. 1 tsp maca powder – a energy, libido, and fertility enhancing The key is to include healthy fats in the absence of any sugar adaptogenic herb or sabotaging sweeteners. This trend has become popular through the Bulletproof Coffee craze that continues to spread 1 tbsp non-gmo soy or sunflower lecithin – helps digest fats and across the globe, yet it can be adapted to fit many different supports brain health tastes, teas, and types of fat. 1-2 tbsp collagen powder or 1 scoop of low carb (less than 5g of When we give our bodies a good dose of healthy fat without carbs) vegan protein powder the sugar, we help our metabolism to burn fat for fuel and maintain a healthy balance of hormones and energy. This Alcohol Free Liquid stevia to taste (2-5 drops, start with less than is one of the keys to effortless weight management, stable add more if needed, it’s very sweet!) energy, and radiant vitality that often gets overlooked in our busy, entrepreneurial lifestyles. Method: Combine all ingredients into blender with 8 oz of hot water or If you think you don’t have time to give yourself the high your favourite coffee, herbal or black tea and blend for 30-60 quality nutrition that you deserve, then I invite you to re- seconds (depending on the power of your blender). Although not examine your priorities and remember that your health is ideal, if you don’t have a blender you can combine everything in your greatest wealth. Without it you have nothing; it is upon an airtight travel mug and shake it vigorously until well mixed. this which your entire life and business is built upon. You will be left with a delicious, creamy, satisfying beverageINSIDE OUT that will keep you energized, focused, and feeling great for at least 2-3 hours. About the Author: Bryan Hardy is a Wellness Coach and Public Speaker who specializes in optimizing digestion and balancing blood sugar so that clients can feel, look, and perform at their best. He hosts a weekly podcast called Redefining Reality, and loves to educate and inspire through teaching, speaking, and the written word. He is a registered member of the Canadian Association of Natural Nutritional Practitioners, and sees clients online via Skype and in person throughout the Greater Toronto Area. Contact him at optimalhealth@ bryanhardy.ca for inquiries or to set up a free 30-minute call to discuss your health symptoms and goals. bryanhardy.ca

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 262 if it is true, b eifaituist i f u l , if it is honourable, if it is right, then claim it.

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 263- rob bell

welcome264 KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 }

652HOMESWEETHOME

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 266 We Create Our World from the Thoughts and Beliefs We Have WRITTEN BY DANIELLE ROSA HOME SWE

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 267From personal experience, I was taught that it was theoutside circumstances that needed to be looked at in orderto fix how we felt inside; but through my years of interiordesign, feng shui and spiritual practices, it all starts within.Your true heart’s desires!Sounds easy, but the reality is that so many of us getdistracted by what is going on in our lives, that even pickinga colour is difficult for them.The steps to creating a SPACE and LIFE that support you 3. Write lists of appreciation on four toinclude the following:- Declutter five topics you love: putting pen to paper helps you- Organization- Tidy/clean areas focus, and focusing on all that you have already in your life- Items that you love only brings more of that. So be prepared for a whole lot of- Items that function properly (if it’s broken, fix it or pass goodness to come your way, and fast!it along)- Pieces that feel good to all of your senses By putting yourself first, and placing focus on how you feel- Items that serve your CURRENT needs as your top priority, your next steps in your life or space become very clear.The results that will follow are clarity, focus, comfort, flow,ease, joy, love, appreciation, security, fulfillment, and peace. I no longer try to convince my clients to declutter their space first, because it’s usually a heavy - feeling task that everyoneWhen you have these main points taken care of, the avoids. When you start with with the simple practicesinspiration to keep your space supporting the best of listed above, organizing, decluttering, replacing items andyou comes naturally, and change or expansion in your life purchasing new ones, or hiring someone to do it for youis enjoyable, which reflects back into your space…it’s all becomes fun and easy.interconnected! If there is one thing that I would love for you to take awayA few simple practices that I love to recommend my clients from this article, it would be to clear your mind and thenuse to help “declutter” their lives and spaces are the follow- take the next steps that feel easy for you in your life and youring: space!1. 15 min of meditation first thing in the With all my love, Danielle Rosamorning: focus on deep breathing orlisten to a mediationvideo (my favourite is Abraham Hicks’ mediation CDs).2. Get outside no matter what theweather is like: this helps you connect back to yoursource/nature/the universe.ET HOME About the Author: Danielle Rosa is an empowerment coach and lifestyle expert helping individuals design and create the lives they love by fully embracing their environment, style, image, home and most importantly; creativity and desires. daniellerosa.com

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 268 here’s what k ni woanwt t: o can we lighten up a little?

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 269- elizabeth gilbert

270 GatherKHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 }

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KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 272 Giving Back in Relationships WRITTEN BY COLLEEN ELLIOTT R E L AT I O

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINEIn any relationship, whether personal or business, 273 you to give more at level three, more often. Think about it…there is giving and receiving. The level at which you are when was the last time you gave just because?operating in that relationship determines the extent to whichthat relationship will grow. According to Anthony Robbins, Giving back to others when we do not stand to benefit nowthere are three levels of relationships: or in the future will not only make us feel good, but also makes those we give to feel good. In personal relationshipsA level one relationship is one in which we give to get; we in particularly, unselfish giving is the fertile ground in whichare motivated to give because there is something we stand the roots of that relationship deepen and the relationship canto receive in return. This relationship is motivated by self- flourish. If you do not water that relationship, it withers andinterest and while a return is not guaranteed, we give because dies. To better understand what level of relationship you arewe think we will benefit. For example, operating at, examine why you give, who youyou do a favour for someone with the If you give to, and when you give.expectation that one day you will be Why do you give?repaid for that favour. If we do not do not • Are you motivated to give back to othersreceive what we expected in return, because you will receive something in return?we may feel used. water that • As a thank you for when someone does something for you?A level two relationship is one in relationship, • Or because you enjoy seeing a smile onwhich we give because we receive. another’s face?This relationship is premised on it withers Who do you give to?mutual benefit; there is reciprocity, • Do you give to people to whom you feelwith each person playing their part and dies. indebted?and contributing to the relationship in • Do you give to people you want toequal measure. However, there is a risk i m p re s s o r influence?that either party in this relationship • Do you give to people you feel obligated tomay stop giving because they no longer perceive mutual give to?benefit. For example, you donate to a charity in exchange for When do you give?a tax benefit or some other reward. • Is your giving motivated by what others have done for you (e.g. as a ‘thank you’)?A level three relationship is one where you give to others • Do you give only when the occasion calls for it (e.g. birthdays,because it feels good to do so. There is no hidden agenda or holidays)?explicit benefit motivating you to give. You are not worried • Do you give simply because you appreciate someone forabout getting recognition or getting a return on your who they are?investment, you simply give because you can. You anticipateand meet the needs of others not because of who they are to Giving is part and parcel of living your best life and havingyou, not because of what they do or because of obligation. You successful relationships. There is a freedom that comesare motivated by an altruistic desire to help. from having relationships where you don’t have to worry about whether or not you are receiving enough, where youIt is useful to look at the three levels in the context of giving are motivated to give of yourself to benefit another. Theseback, because most people give back because of self-interest level three relationships exude abundance thinking: the(level 1) and mutual benefit (level 2). My intention is to inspire understanding that you don’t need to get in order to give, that you trust and believe that you, too, will receive from unexpected sources. It takes a confident, bold, and purpose-NSHIPS driven woman to give freely of herself and make a difference in the lives of others just because. Now that’s iconic.

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 274 we travel, fosormeevoef ru,s to seek other places, other lives, other souls.

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KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 278 Travel Tips for Business Travel – Flying WRITTEN BY JOHN SOLAND G R E AT Image: iStock.com/andresr

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINETravelling by air is the fastest way to get to your 279 the air that won’t do much to satisfy your hunger.next scheduled meeting or conference, but it isn’t the 2. Check Out Rewards Programseasiest method of travel. Between the increased and addedfees mandated by airlines (yes, you’ll be paying for that tiny In addition to packing lightly and making healthy foodblanket) and security measures that seem to be more of a choices, you may want to look into joining rewards programheadache than a help, air travel can make even the hardiest of through your favourite airline or credit card company. Whilebusiness men and women want to pull their hair out. there may be a fee of some sort, you may be able to earn free miles and enjoy perks such as priority boarding and discountsOne of the best ways to learn the tips and tricks of business to use on meals and movies.travel is to talk to someone who’s learned from his or her 3. At the Airportmistakes over the years and has discovered the best ways todeal with the delays, rude or inconsid- Be sure you arrive at the airporterate passengers, and the lack of nu- ... you may be able early to ensure that you get throughtritionally healthy foods. If you don’t security, the waiting line for whichknow someone like this, then read on can seem to stretch on for milesfor a few quick tips on how to best han- to earn free miles during peak travel times throughoutdle your next business trip. the day. When you finally make it1. Before You Go and enjoy perks up to the security check point, be prepared to take off your shoes, belt,Packing lightly for a business trip, such as priority jewelry, and jacket or coat for X-raywhether you’ll be gone for two days boarding .... scanning. It might also be helpful toor a week, is a must. Choose clothing place your personal belongings in athat can be used multiple times. That specific order to be scanned so thatmight mean packing at least one jacket you avoid scrambling for items asand pair of pants or a skirt that match they pass through the x-ray machine.in colour, as well as a few button down For example, place your shoes first soshirts, polo shirts, or blouses. It’s also best to pack just one or they are first to exit the scanner.two pairs of shoes; many pairs of shoes can take up a lot ofroom in a carry-on or suitcase. Speaking of carry-on luggage, Before you board the plane, be sure to have exactly whatif you’re travelling for business, it’s in your best interest to fly you need for the flight (books, magazines, laptop, etc.) easilywith carry-on bags only that actually fit under the seat or in accessible in your carry-on bag. This will allow you to quicklythe overhead bin. Checking luggage can result in extra fees take these items out of your carry-on when you get to yourand there’s always the chance that your luggage could be lost seat and just as quickly put your bag under your seat oror delayed. This can spell disaster, particularly if you need to overhead, without holding up passengers behind you.prepare and dress for a presentation or meeting directly after 4. At Your Destinationyou arrive at your destination. Whether you end up in China or Cleveland, it’s importantBefore you leave for the airport, be sure to eat a protein- to make sure you develop a routine for eating and sleeping.packed but lightweight meal. The food choices in airports Block off an adequate amount of time to allow yourself tohave improved in recent years, but eating fat- and calorie- adjust to another time zone, use earplugs or noise-blockingladen foods may still be too tempting if you’re short on time headphones to help you rest in a loud hotel, and eat well-and hungry. Once you’ve passed through security, it can be balanced and nutritious meals and snacks. If you’re travellinghelpful to purchase a bottle of water and a piece of fruit, such for business, you want to look and feel your best. Take time toas a banana or an apple, to have as a snack. This will also help discover other ways to help you travel smarter.you avoid spending extravagantly on snacks or meals while inESCAPES About the Author: John Soland is an experienced writer who has written for a number of notable publications. As a lifestyle expert, Mr. Soland is able to offer advice and insight on a multitude of topics, including those pertaining to general wellness.

> 280KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } Travel Picks: Kharisma Approved 1 The Alexandra Resort The Alexandra Resort offers excellent value for a Turks and Caicos resort. The destination is renowned for its luxury vacation spots and expensive prices. But it is still possible to enjoy a beachfront getaway on Grace Bay Beach and stay in a lovely suite at an affordable rate when you choose the four-star Alexandra Resort. The resort’s suites are suited to families, couples, business travellers, and groups. A variety of floor plans are available to accommodate the budget and composition of your party. From studios with kitchenettes, to one- and two-bedroom suites with full kitchens, and the magnificent four-bedroom oceanfront penthouse, the Alexandra Resort can accommodate any level of comfort and style. This is truly a Turks and Caicos luxury resort that provides terrific flexibility for guests. For more details: www.alexandraresort.com G R E AT

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 281 > 2 Mothershouse MOTHERSHOUSE was designed by award winning architect Ron Shaw on Babalua Beach (1.5 mile long) adjacent to Grace Bay Beach in Turks & Caicos. It’s a visually stunning and child-friendly secluded retreat for your family and friends. The location is well suited and equipped for wedding parties, energy yoga weeks, or corporate events. Mothershouse is a large and gorgeous villa that can sleep up to 22 people! With five ensuite bedrooms, a unique octagonally shaped ensuite bunk bedroom (sleeping twelve), spacious dining area, large sun deck, and west facing sunset deck, the house can comfortably and privately accommodate all members of your family and guests. For more details: www.mothershouse.tcESCAPES

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 282 a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said jojen, the man who never Reads lives only one.

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KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 284 “Lending a voice to your words…” Thinking Audio Productions is the voice to your creativity by creating unique audiobooks out of your book. So, while you deliver unmatched creativity, we will get busy making it real! A GREAT BOOK IS AN INSPIRATION, BUT A STORY TOLD ALOUD - A LEGACY! Find out more at www.thinkingaudio.com

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KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 286 2 Top 10 Books To Design Your Life & Business By “Here are the top 10 books I’ve read “Think and Grow Rich ” that, in one way or another, have been By Napoleon Hill a signficant influence in my life”. This is about the science of - (Kharisma Aro, Editor-in-Chief) personal achievement — the philosophy of success. Image: Richard Kelly 1 “The Brand You 50 ” 4 By Tom Peters “The Game of Life and How To Play It” The book is what Peters calls By Florence Scovel Shinn a “50 List” of actionable steps Florence Scovel Shinn was an artist, author, and you can take to build your metaphysics teacher in New York in the early personal brand. Your personal part of the 20th century, whose remarkable brand is the “packaging,” your “product”, what you offer, your books were revolutionary for her time. By sharing real-life stories in The Game of reputation, and what you Life, Shinn illustrates how positive attitudes are known for. and affirmations invariably succeed in making one a winner in life - or able to control life’s 3 conditions and release abundance through “How to Win Friends & Influence People” knowledge of spiritual law. By Dale Carnegie THE READI How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15% to professional knowledge and 85% to “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people.” He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated.

5 { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE“The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9–5, Live Any- 287 where, and Join the New Rich” By Timothy Ferriss 7 Forget the old concept of retirement and the rest “The Alchemist”of the deferred-life plan — there is no need to wait By Paulo Coelhoand every reason not to, especially in unpredictable One of the best-selling books in history. economic times. Whether your dream is escaping The story of Santiago, the shepherd the rat race, experiencing high-end world travel, boy on a journey to realize his personal legend, has inspired people all over the earning a monthly five-figure income with zero world to live their dreams.management, or just living more and working less, The 4-Hour Workweek is the blueprint. 6 “Good to Great ” By Jim Collins This management book by Jim C. Collins describes how companies transition from being good companies to great companies, and how most companies fail to make the transition. 10 8 9 “Lifestyle Entrepreneur ” By Jesse Krieger “The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business ” Lifestyle Entrepreneur provides the reader with a By Josh Kaufman step-by-step framework A world-class business education in a single to turn their interests and volume. Learn the universal principles behind passions into products andevery successful business, then use these ideas to services that add value tomake more money, get more done, and have more others, while supporting a lifestyle of novelty and fun in your life and work. adventure. “Don’t Think Pink ” By Lisa Johnson and Andrea Learned Purchases by women now total trillions of dollars annually, accounting for 85% of all consumer expenditures. Reaching women, therefore, should be considered the number one priority for most businesses.NG LOUNGE

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 288 Featured Author: Danielle LaPorte Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah Winfrey’s inaugural Super Soul 100, a group who, in Oprah’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” LaPorte is the author of THE READI The Fire Starters Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul. The book has been translated into 8 languages, and has evolved into a yearly day planner and journal system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Her latest book, White Hot Truth launched in May 2017. Image: Catherine Just

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 289Fire walks and juice cleanses. Weekendretreats with egomaniac mystics. Miracle healings,shady Lightworkers, and therapists on speed dial. Somequestionable tantra teachers. Tea with the Dalai Lama. Thesaving grace of good girlfriends, and a spiritual devotionthat is anything but puritanical…With self-help adventures gone wrong and breakthroughsthat made it all right, Oprah SuperSoul 100 memberDanielle LaPorte cheerleads us - soul seekers - to tap ourown wisdom by having a good laugh, and maybe a good cry,at all the ways we’ve been trying to improve on our self-improvement. “Our fulfillment stems from our motives.” Danielle offers • Why “tolerance” as a so-called spiritual course of action a radical consideration for almost every goal-setter and can lead to insane loyalty and fool’s compassion—and how devotee. “It’s not how we seek spiritual growth; it’s why we self-help-inclined women are perfect mismatches for seek it.” narcissistic personalities. • Making our own medicine—from Psych 101, to functional We’re doing so many good things to develop ourselves— medicine, to the super woo woo...why we need to create but maybe we’re trying to get better for unhealthy reasons. wellness support systems that White Hot Truth is right on time for those of us who came are as complex as we are. of age in the New Age, or are about to, helping us see when • The sneaky self-hatred that drives even the most aware we’re bypassing our feelings, or falling for well-branded spiritual seekers, and how to “return to our fullness when dogma. we’ve slipped into our halfness.” • How to spot spiritual glamour, and the crucial difference This is a provocative call to be as discerning as we are between discernment and judgment. loving, and to finally realize that the best self-help is self- • Boundaries for spiritual people—the distinction between compassion. boundaries that maintain your freedom and barriers that Rooted in feminism and spiritual activism, Danielle takes a weigh you down. philosophical deep-dive into: • Conscious optimism: We’re all asking, “What can I do to help a hurting world?” The powerful place between being • The myths that we (inevitably) fall for on our way to Truth: overwhelmed by global problems and living a life of service, The Big Lies of Inadequacy, Authority, and Affiliation. daily. • The “Discipleshit” that happens when we give our power • How to tell a true teacher from a false prophet when social away—and the initiation of wresting it back. media has turned personal development into a form of • Faux freedoms: “If I’m ‘evolved,’ do I have to want an open entertainment. relationship?” • And thoughts on the complexity of forgiveness, a “Soul- “If I’m a feminist, do I have to like porn?” A smackdown perspective” on suffering, and what spiritual devotion gives on sacred sex teachings that go sideways and groupthink us in return. disguised as liberation. • The bravery of practicing deep positivity, vs. shallow >Danielle brings it home with the hottest Truth of all: You are “positive-think.” your own guru.NG LOUNGE

290 Featured Author: Danielle LaPorteWhite HotHighlights >KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } CHAPTER 1 THE CHURCH OFSELF-IMPROVEMENTWhen worship becomes work Being on stage a lot as a “motivational speaker,” I was sermonizing CHAPTER 5 about healthy boundaries and self-Love being a divine responsibility. FULL OF YOURSELF Most people seemed to think, Well, she doesn’t suffer fools. But behind the scenes I was suffering some serious foolishness. I took a lot of crap The curiosities of self-hatred, and thefrom lovers and other collaborators because I thought tolerance was the only guarantee of self-Love “spiritual” course of action, or non-action as was ...we’re missing the deeper dialogue when it comes to self-Lovethe case. I practiced being less attached to my wants and more attached and determination: Loving yourself, even when you do it most humbly, can attract some not-so-Loving responses. When you to my needs—but it was really hard to tell the difference. start to care more deeply about your own well-being, a whole I chose Freddie Mercury as my Spirit Animal. He helped. new set of inner—and outer—challenges will surface in your life. Self-respect can create conflict. Just get used it. The show must go on. ... …How to know that you Love yourself… You will Love more people, more deeply. This is the best part. Self-Love expands You can’t seek approval on your way to sovereignty. into Loving others. It’s so perfect, and beautiful, and right. Freedom is not something you need to earn. You’re not trying to attain your own sequestered happiness. Joy does not come from a checklist. You look into your heart and see that it’s connected to everyone else’s. You feel that mystical and palpable kinship, and youCHAPTER 2 want the same freedoms and fulfillment for others that youTHE REALLY BIG LIES want for yourself. The falsities we (inevitably, and necessarily) fall for on our way to Truth Wisdom is paradoxical. True wisdom usually holds and transcends opposing points of view. It knows that there is always an exception to the rule, that there is a time and place, that case-by-case is divine protocol...If you can comfortably hold your paradoxes, you’re going to be just fine. Because I’m suggesting that you: 1. Love yourself first and foremost, and...include the world in your Loving (and then get off your ass and be more selflessly engaged). 2. Raise your standards, and...be more flexible and accommodating. 3. Forgive, and...don’t forget. 4. Honour spiritual traditions, and...be your own guru. 5. Be open-hearted, and...have clear, strong boundaries. 6. Get real, and...be idealistic. 7. Be steadfast in your Truth, and...make all kinds of exceptions. 8. Have strong preferences, and...be easy to please. 9. Lead with your heart and your head. 10. Own your extraordinariness, and...your beautiful ordinariness. Because it’s up to you and we’re all in this together. And hey...we have all the time in the world, but this is urgent.

{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 291 CHAPTER 8 OPEN, GENTLE HEART. BIG FUCKING FENCE. Boundaries for spiritual people ...I saw the same boundary issues with my Soul Sisters as well. Otherwise remarkably powerful, get-shit-done women who couldn’t tell their adorable but freeloading brother that it was time to move out of the guest room and get a job; or the gorgeous and articulate friend who kept quiet about the tantra teacher who crossed the line with her; or the whip-smart entrepreneur who couldn’t put a “stop payment” on the check to the “socially responsible” consultant who gave her nearly fatal business advice. We were all so accustomed to directing our compassion outward that turning the tide of protective Love toward ourselves was discombobulating. We fought for causes,CHAPTER 6 for relationships, for our children, for our co-workers,YOU’RE SPECIAL— but it was terrifying to fight for ourselves.BUT NOT THAT SPECIALIn search of worth The need to feel special is a healthy human need. It means CHAPTER 9 we’re being seen and are loved for what’s seen. But when you READY TO FORGIVEcombine spirituality with an unchecked hunger to be “special,” youget spiritual glamour. And it’s some nasty, nefarious stuff. The complicated, gritty path to gracespiritual glamour (noun/verb): Forced or feigned forgiveness can derail the healing process…1. regarding your spirituality as a qualifcation for special treatment; Although we know that forgiveness is an experience of thesuperiority spirit, we might be tempted to yank it down from the ethers and2. New Age douche hammer it into a goal with a due date—make it an achievable task, get it over and done with. But forgiveness is usually anSpiritual glamour–pusses always find a way to insert their esoteric organic and utterly inefficient process. You can’t leap from hurtresumé into the conversation. “I’ve been meditating for twenty- to clarity, or from anger to absolution. You have to walk there,five years,” or “My work with the orphans...” or “Parmesan Yogi one revelatory, resentful, intentional step at a time.Wannawanda is a personal friend of mine and when I was yachtingwith him, he told me...” We get it. You’re buds with an EnlightenedMaster, so you must be special....On the ego’s role in spiritual growth: Befriending our ego is a step to ...................................................................................................................................................befriending our whole self. You’re an original. If we’re always lookingto see how “spiritual” others think we are, we will never tap the depths CHAPTER 10of our authentic selves. Their perceived opinions of us will be the THE SOUL OF SERVICE:greatest distractions to hearing and feeling our Truth. The desire toevolve must come from internal inspiration, not external motivation. Conscious optimism and giving from your fullness.................................................................................................................................................... ...according to a lot of spiritual perspectives, all is well in the Universe. Our enlightenment is inevitable. It’s all progress.CHAPTER 7: SUPER. HUMAN. I do believe that we will get to where we’re headed—to a more Choosing to really be here enlightened way of living and co-creating… I also believe that over-spiritualizing our global tragedies doesn’t heal them—it All of my research into ascetics and contemplatives had me thinking perpetuates them. And I believe in free will. So we have a choice: that ascension was The Great Spiritual Aim. That if I wasn’t developing stubborn ignorance can slow us down and make us take the long a super-consciousness, I was too ordinary, too human. Out of touch. way ’round to our destination, or we can make some radical And worse, out of favour with the invisible cosmic crew I was always shifts and get there with some efficiency. The Universe operates trying toearn points with. on free will—and that means that both ascension and devolution are options. It’s up to us. I do believe that upward is where we want to be heading—toward a higher point of view. I want to transcend my fears, ascend to unity, rise above the mundane. But I have to take the mundane with me on my way to the holy. Otherwise, I am not whole. Otherwise, I am leaving God behind....What I know in my bones is that for most of us, our greatest growthcomes from the black, mucky, fertile mess of relationships, when youdo the hard work of Loving someone the way they deserve tobe Loved.

292KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 16 YOU ARE THE GURU REGARDING SUFFERING The hottest truth of all Soul, pain, perspective ...I wasn’t at the ashram for long but, as it happens for me in any Let’s talk about the shame of suffering. It’s a New Age specialty; we situation of extreme restraint, I started feeling hornier than usual, self-helpers are experts at criticizing ourselves for manifesting, and craving other circumstantially illicit things—like a pack of attracting, and then having a less-than-Zen response to tough smokes and some Led Zeppelin cranked really loud. Oh woe. My times… After all the meditation,and therapy, and reiki, I mean, you’d mind was having a fairly predictable reaction to discipline, but so was my heart. It was becoming clear that I was not made for think I could get over this... this scene. When you didn’t get the gig that you hustled so hard to get, or the ...Your breakthroughs have more to do with your own power than person you want doesn’t want you; when there’s a diagnosis; when that of the expert or guru. Outside sources can be Soul resources— you suffer a near-unspeakable loss; and/or/but... You’ve been but not because THEY know something that you don’t. They are working soooo long for a breakthrough, then your “inner winner” merely showing you your own wisdom. Wisdom is built, not might sound like this: Fuck “everything happens for a reason.” bestowed. Fuck the “Divine plan.” And while we’re at it, Fuck all you power- of-positive-thinking people! Pain is pain. Loss is loss. Suffering is suffering. CHAPTER 12 ...How one Soul maps out its requirements for growth—through FAUX FREEDOMS pain or pleasure, ease or hardship—is unique, inexplicable, and entirely unknowable from an Earth-bound perspective. The When sacred sex goes sideways playing field called “Earth” is not level for everyone. This is exactly why some of the motivational self-help sermons do us an injustice. ...Between oppressive culturalization and the shifting Not everyone can “achieve it if they just believe it.” And to apply expressions of feminism, I get why Yoni Puja empowerment that theory over everyone with broad strokes is degrading to those workshops or an orgy at Burning Man might be appealing—truly in extreme situations of oppression, disenfranchisement, and healing, even. For some of us, getting greased and going wild is disability. exactly what we need to break the psychological chains ................................................................................................................................................ and move up our own evolutionary spiral. CHAPTER 17 I also understand why so many progressive, spiritually focused women DESIRE, REFINED think they might look like prudes if they demur on the free Love. It can be easy to feel ever-so-slightly shamed for not being “freer,” A broader view for creating reality as if they’re repressed just because they don’t want to go to the Proud and Powerful Pussy Power Summit and pair up with Perspectives on desire a guy they just met to find their orgasmic sweet spot. The Catholics: If you want it, you have to go through God to get it. Going wild isn’t necessarily freeing. The Buddhists: Your problem is that you want it. And restraint isn’t always restrictive. The Zen Buddhists: What’s to want? What is the modern goddess to do? The Hindus: You wanted that in your last life. The Capitalists: You gotta want it more than anyone else. The New Agers: Just keep telling the Universe how much you want it. CHAPTER 15 ........................................................................................................................................... DISCERNMENT IS EVERYTHING CHAPTER 18 When the negative serves the positive DEVOTION You can’t have the Light without the dark. It’s a primary function of I think you’re up for it metaphysical teachers to emphasize the power of the Light, but they can neglect to address the realities of dealing with the darkness. I When you give yourself credit for making it this far inlife, and for was at an angel workshop (don’t judge me), and a woman who was still being a Gentle Soul, then you’ll know the Truth of Love. When, mentioning some government conspiracy theories was hushed by in a courageously still moment you hear yourself say, “I have the workshop leader, “We can’t talk about negative things like that, everything I need right now,” then you’ll know the Truth of Faith. it gives it energy.” Please, if you can’t talk about whacky conspiracy theories at an angel reading workshop, then where can you talk And you’ll bring that shine to work with you. And to your causes, about them? and your Loving, and your collaborations with the Universe. You will not be fearless, but you will be certain of what matters most. ...Sometimes, you have to go right to the heart of an issue and call You will place your preferences on the altar of your life and say: This! THIS is what brings me joy. And with the heavenly madness people on their bullshit-making—which might not seem like a of Faith, you will live your Truth with the devotion it deserves. very “spiritual” thing to do. But let me tell you...opinions used May your beauty dawn on you. May your pure Faith light the way. for raising standards are sacred indeed... Being discerning is not May all be so blessed. the same as being judgmental. Discernment is big-minded and awake. Judgment is narrow-minded and operates in the dark. Slow down if you need to, but don’t ever stop. Discernment is our wisdom coming to life.

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KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 294 do one thing d eav eyr y that scares you.

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{ P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 297 GCUIITDYE: TORONTO We’re featuring our Top 5 in Dining, Accommodation, Spas, and Activities, and sharing our favourite thing about each one.

KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } 298 SAVOURY CITY 1. Maha’s In this issue, we are featuring our best in Egyptian cuisine tucked away in East Toronto. After 4 years, the brunch hot spot, Maha’s, on Greenwood just north of Gerrard Street, is still going strong with long lines of customers arriving everyday for their Egyptian cuisine. This is a family affair, with owner Maha Barsoom, her daughter, sous-chef Monika Wahba, and son Mark Wahba, whose dynamic roles make this restaurant warm and inviting. www.mahasbrunch.com > “Fasolia beda bel lama el mafrouma (white beans with ground beef) served with our famous White calrose vermicelli rice and our balady salad.” Images: Courtesy of Maha’s

> { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 } KHARISMA MAGAZINE 299 TOP L - R:Cairo Classic, Sunny Eggs and Foole, Honey Date Grilled Cheese and Pharaoh’s Shrimp Po ‘ Boy. Feast BOTTOM L - R: Sunny Eggs and Foole Honey Cardamom Latte

300 >KHARISMA MAGAZINE { P R E M I E R I S S U E 2 0 1 8 }AsparagusImage: Jennifer Gauld 2. George The tucked-away Parisian-style terrace is a gem for romantic dinners or solo dining. www.georgeonqueen.ca > 3. Canoe The view from Canoe is just breathtaking. www.canoerestaurantPrawn and Nettle ChowderImage: Cindy La