Donene Preview

HEART OF A CHAMPION 33 reining. He also ran barrels and poles. He was very versatile, and very fun to ride. He would slide, spin, and make flying lead changes. Grandma said if I liked this horse, she would buy him for me. I enthusiastically agreed. Grandma bought Mr. Tommy Bars from Sonya Thomas. Sonya kept horses at Kelli and Paul’s indoor barn and offered to take me with her to Kelli and Paul’s after school some days. Naturally, I said yes. Each afternoon as the school bus got closer to my house I would be focused on our driveway, trying to look past our huge willow tree to see if could spot Sonya’s truck parked in our driveway. I knew that if she was there, she would take me with her to the barn. At Kelli and Paul’s, every day felt like the best day ever. Here I was, hanging out with guys who were on the college rodeo team, with inev- itable World Champion Paul Tierney, and Kelli, who I admired. And Sonya was helping me improve my horsemanship while I learned to ride Tommy Bars. I felt so special to be able to hang around the barn. The college guys were always joking, having fun, the Bee Gees and the Eagles playing on the radio. Yet they also took rodeo seriously and worked really hard. Boy, did I look up to Kelli. She was a National Champion, and a tough competitor who’d already done everything that I was aspiring to do. In my eyes, she was living the dream. I saw her as a very confident woman. The kind of person I wished to be one day. I was quiet and focused at the barn, soaking it all up like a sponge. We’d stay until 7 or 8 pm. When it was finally time, we’d get back into Sonya’s truck and drive home.

34 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU BEING A GOOD STUDENT WHO DO YOU INVEST YOUR TIME WITH? Throughout my life, I have been very fortunate to invest time with peo- ple who have inspired me, coached me, and called me up to be my best. These early days hanging out with exceptional ath- letes and Champions were huge in help- ing me along my path. Think about who you hang out with. Look for opportunities to be in situations where you are not the best, the smartest, the fastest, or the most creative. It’s in those situations where we learn, evolve and grow the most. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — JIM ROHN, AUTHOR AND MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

HEART OF A CHAMPION 35 “Just follow the clothespins.” At 14 years old, the summer of 1978 was my ‘summer of rodeos.’ I went to upwards of 20 Little Britches rodeos during a five-month period during the 1978 rodeo season. My goal was to become the National Little Britches World Cham- pion Goat Tail Tier. Dad and I almost always went to the events together. We hauled Domino around in the four-horse red Imperial Trailer, pulling it with my mom’s 1975 Buick Station Wagon. I thought of that trailer as my barn. I kept all my tack, saddles, and supplies organized and clean. It wasn’t much, but I took pride in it. When I wasn’t competing, I was practicing. My parents never had to tell me to practice, they never had to ask if I practiced. As a result, I had no social life. I didn’t play any after school sports or socialize much outside of school. But I was fine with that. At 14, I knew this is how I wanted to live—rodeoing every weekend, travelling to a different town, competing against tough competitors. What could be better? Dad would drive the station wagon, and I would sit in the back and sleep, read, or look out the back window and dream. The all-country station would play on the AM radio. Occasionally we’d stop and get gas and a pop to drink. Domino would stick his nose out the window of the trailer, like a dog enjoying the breeze. Dad and I didn’t talk much, but that was fine by me. I enjoyed being in my own thoughts, visualizing my rodeo runs. I also had certain mental practices that I would go through. For example, I would recite different phrases in my head, say my ABC’s, pray, hold my breath, and count. I did this type of thing a lot, over and over again. I would also make subtle hand movements over and over. I received a lot of comfort from doing these things, a calming release of sorts. I did not understand it, nor did I share it with anyone. In retro- spect, these were probably indicative of another issue, but I wouldn’t have to deal with that for a while yet.

36 DONENE TAYLOR When I wasn’t rodeoing, I was usually practicing at home. That summer, my parents decided I was old enough to be on my own during the day, so Justin and I didn’t have a babysitter, and I was allowed to saddle and ride my horses. My parents trusted me to be safe and follow directions, and for the most part, they were right. But one day I got careless. I’d been riding Tommy Bars, saddled, for over an hour and I got thirsty. I casually put my reins in the front door, with Tommy Bars outside. This was something I’d done before, a lazy way of keeping the horse nearby while I slipped inside the house. However, this time, Tommy Bars did not stay at the door, and in- stead he walked around to the backyard area. We had a clothesline hanging there, where we’d dry our clothes in the warm summer air. Tommy Bars walked under the clothesline and the wire in the line hit my saddle horn. Tommy Bars was spooked. He turned around suddenly, and the wire got wrapped around the saddle horn, creating tension and making a loud noise. He got very scared and bolted off in response. As he dashed away, he broke the large fence post right off, and ran down our little paved road, dragging the clothesline and the broken posts behind him. From inside the house I heard a sudden loud bang; it was the sound of the clothesline posts hitting the side of our house. Justin and I ran out. I ran to our old ‘69 Chevy truck. Even though I was only 14, and I’d only driven a little bit in the pasture, I was deter- mined to catch my horse. I was shaking as I hit the gas and began to drive the truck out the thirty-foot gate. With my basic driving skills, I rubbed up against the gate post. Suddenly, the truck died. Now what was I going to do? Then I looked out onto the road and saw Justin leading Tommy Bars back home. I leapt out of the truck. “How did you find him?” I yelled. Justin grinned. “I just followed the clothespins!”

HEART OF A CHAMPION 37 Justin had run to the neighbors down the road, where the horse had stopped. The neighbors scolded Justin, assuming he had tied the horse to the clothesline. Noble little brother that he was, Justin had taken one for the team, nodded along, and led the horse home. Luckily, Tommy Bars was fine—not a scratch on him. But I knew I couldn’t hide the mishap from my parents. I was devastated. I went inside and cried, chastising myself for my poor decision making. When Mom and Dad got home, we told them the whole story. They didn’t scold me. Instead, they laughed harder than I had seen them laugh for a long time. I never did anything like that again. I paid much closer attention to taking care of business, making sure my horses were safe, and doing things the right way—not the easy way. It was a great lesson.

38 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK WHAT ARE YOUR “CLOTHESPINS”? Sometimes the best lesson is found in a scary event that had all the capacities of going terribly wrong but for some reason didn’t. I’ve learned that these moments can be very good teachers. Listen to the whispers in your life. Don’t wait until you get hit upside the head. Find the lesson and then take the immediate action. When you make a mistake, trace the “clothespins” of your error. Ask yourself: Where did I go wrong? What can I learn from this? What will I do differently next time? “Whispers are always messages, and if you don’t hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don’t handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don’t handle the crisis, disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?” — OPRAH WINFREY, ENTREPRENEUR AND PHILANTHROPIST

HEART OF A CHAMPION 39 Feel What You Feel In 1978, Dad got a job as a Business Agent for the Ironworkers Union, that required us to move. My parents began to look for houses and sometimes I would tag along. Every time we pulled up to a place, I completely ignored the house and instead reviewed the landscape to see if it might be suitable for an arena and horses. If it wouldn’t work for horses, I was pretty quick to shoot it down. Ultimately, my parents decided that the town of Glenrock, Wyo- ming, twenty miles east of Casper, would be a great fit. The house they found sat on a dirt road, surrounded by five acres of flat ground. It was perfect to build barns and an arena on. We moved to Glenrock on Thanksgiving weekend, 1978. The horses all stayed in Rapid City and would stay and winter in the barn and arena there. Once we got the property fenced, and built an arena, and a small barn, we moved them back with us. The arena Dad built was huge: 150 feet x 300 feet. I loved that arena. I could set up my pole bending pattern, barrel pattern, and have plenty of room to lope circles, and tie goats. The town of Glenrock was a lot smaller than I was used to. It was around 1,500 people at the time. It wasn’t a rodeo culture town, either. I was a bit nervous about that, but on my first day at school, I heard some kids saying they were having a rodeo club meeting at a friend’s house. That fit in perfectly with my plan—to compete in high school rodeos, make it to Nationals, and then go onto college rodeo. I asked if I could come. The kids agreed. At 7 pm sharp, Dad drove me to the rodeo club. I was eager. But as the meeting progressed, I became more and more confused. The kids were just talking about setting up a dance. ‘Why aren’t they talking about rodeoing?’ I wondered. Then I realized: this was a rodeo club that didn’t rodeo. It dawned on me then that I was the only one in school with real rodeo goals. No one took rodeo seriously like I did.

40 DONENE TAYLOR It was clear that high school was not going to be a social time for me, just like all my previous years. Still, my first week of school I no- ticed a boy named Stan. He was cute and had a quiet confidence about him. It was clear that Stan was popular, but in a slightly different way. He wasn’t the football star, just a popular kind of kid who liked to have fun. He was nice, quiet and humble. I couldn’t help but to watch Stan in science class and Phys Ed, but I didn’t say a word to him. I wasn’t allowed to date, and my parents didn’t encourage me to socialize. They appreciated that I was quiet and focused, and they didn’t want any teenage drama. “Be a good girl,” they told me. “Boys will only jeopardize your rodeo.” I knew Stan and I wouldn’t date—but that didn’t stop me from thinking about him, paying attention to what he was doing at school and dreaming about a future with him. I would secretly doodle in my notebook: “Mrs. Stan Taylor,” and “Donene Taylor.” Nobody knew it. I had a crush. In February, the rodeo club put on the rodeo dance they’d been planning. I didn’t want to go but my family insisted that we all go to- gether—me, Mom, Dad, and Justin. Mom insisted that I wear my pink rodeo suit I’d worn in a Little Britches Rodeo ‘Queen Contest’ last August, even though it was now the middle of February. The suit fit snugger than it did in the summer. It was tight and uncomfortable. The other kids were wearing all wear- ing jeans and nice shirts. No one else was wearing a polyester suit. During the whole dance I silently fumed, standing awkwardly by my parents. One boy asked me to dance but I told him, “No thanks.” We left shortly after that. I was hot with embarrassment, angry with my parents for making me go to the dance. But I said, nothing. Dad suggested we go to the local pizza place for dinner. The mo- ment we walked in I saw him. Stan was in the kitchen. I didn’t know he worked there. Already feeling awkward and embarrassed in my pink

HEART OF A CHAMPION 41 rodeo suit, I slunk down into the booth, wishing I could disappear. The moment we got home I hurried to get out of the tight, ill- fitting suit. Then I realized I’d split the rear of my pants a couple of inches. I was humiliated, but I told myself I didn’t care. I said to myself: “I am going to rodeo. I don’t need friends. I don’t care if Stan likes me. I’m going to rodeo, and that is all that matters.” I stuffed my feelings down inside. Shortly after the rodeo dance catastrophe, I took out Mom’s bathroom scale and weighed myself. The scale read 101 pounds. “Okay,” I said to myself. “I will not let myself weigh more than that.” The next week I went to the drug store during my lunch break. There, I found an appetite suppressant called Ayds. I began taking them regularly and started skipping lunch. I became obsessed with working out, practicing, and restricting my calories. Occasionally I would fast for three days or go on strict diets with powders or shakes instead of food. To me, this was just one more facet of life where I needed to be disciplined. I thought restricting my food intake was a sign of strength. Mom and Dad knew I was dieting. They stopped buying me a lunch ticket for the school cafeteria and got me an exercise bike. The fact that they were so supportive of my efforts to lose weight was not surprising. I’d figured out Mom’s secret a while ago. It happened when Mom and I were watching a 20/20 episode on eating disorders, specif- ically about Bulimia. Suddenly her strange eating behaviors and thin- ness made sense. I thought ‘Oh my God, that’s her.’ When the show was over, she just murmured “hmm” to herself and walked off. She never said a thing about it. Neither did I.

42 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU A FEELINGS-STUFFER? For a long time, I stuffed my feelings down inside. It took me time to realize that stuffing my feelings was only robbing me of my ability to enjoy my journey in life and to stay focused on the present moment. If you find yourself stuffing or shut- ting down your emotions, look for ways to express yourself. Communica- tion is key for expressing feelings in a healthy way. This is a practice it may take time to learn, but it’s worth it. If communicating makes you un- comfortable, watch what you do when experiencing painful emotions. Are you giving yourself the chance to feel and express your feelings, or are you stuffing them down inside? “The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else feel comfortable.” — NICOLE LYONS, WRITER

HEART OF A CHAMPION 43 Get It out of Your Head and down on Paper One day, I was looking through the Western Horseman magazine and found a mail-order ad for a book by Jennifer Haynes called Champion- ship Roping and Goat Tying. Mom agreed to write a check for the book, and I filled out and mailed the order form the very next day. When the book arrived, I was completely enthralled. In particular, there was a passage on page 25 that grabbed me. Haynes wrote, “Don’t think that you have no chance of placing if you make a mistake. You always have a chance as long as you don’t quit and walk away... When you quit, you beat yourself.” I circled that passage and underlined it with a marker. I decided I wanted to write a book like Jennifer someday. Heck, I wanted to be just like Jennifer. She had won the World Championship in the Girls Rodeo Association (now the Women’s Professional Rodeo Association) for All-Around Cowgirl in 1977. In 1975, she won the National Intercollegiate Rodeo Association All-Around Champion- ship. The back cover of the book had a picture of Jennifer standing next to her horse and the trailer she won as a prize for winning the World Championship. I invested a lot of time into staring at that picture. I wanted that—all of it. I wanted to be a World Champion. I wanted to be a College Champion. I wanted to be tough like that. I wanted to travel to all the rodeos like that. I wanted to be in the record book. I wanted the prizes. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to win. I thought to myself, ‘I will do anything to have that. Whatever it takes.’ That summer, I did some babysitting to make some extra cash. One night, when the kids were asleep, I took out my notebook and made a list. On the list, I wrote down my five big goals: 1. Marry Stan 2. Become a World Champion Tie-Down Calf Roper.

44 DONENE TAYLOR 3. Write a book. 4. Become a coach. (To help others the way Kelli and Paul had helped me). 5. Qualify for the National Finals Rodeo in the Barrel Race. That list changed the course of my life.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 45 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK WHAT’S YOUR GOAL? Writing down that list of goals was one of the most powerful things I ever did. It’s one thing to have a general idea of what you want. It’s another to be able to write that thing down and see it on paper. Research shows that we become 42% more likely to achieve our goals, simply by writing them down on a reg- ular basis. I’ve since continued to build on the practice of writing out my goals. These days I don’t just make a list of my goals and forget about them, I carry a card with my Top 3 Goals with me every day. By doing so, I have a constant reminder of my goals and the process I must follow to achieve them. It’s a strong reminder to take the neces- sary steps to attain my goals. Goals are the oxygen to my dreams. “Goals are like magnets. They’ll attract the things that make them come true.” — ANTHONY ROBBINS, AUTHOR AND ENTREPRENEUR

46 DONENE TAYLOR Practice ‘til You Can’t Get It Wrong Over the summer of 1979, I enjoyed investing time with Kelli and Paul. One day Paul drove us from Rapid City to the barn where he and Kelli kept the horses and practiced. It was afternoon and Paul was singing along with the radio—Neil Diamond’s, “Forever in Blue Jeans.” I couldn’t believe it; here was Paul, a soon-to-be World Champion in the PRCA, singing one of my favorite songs. I was hooked. I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to be a Champion. After investing time with Kelli and Paul, I entered my first high school rodeo in Casper, Wyoming. I entered the barrels, poles, and goat tying events. I won nothing. Dad pointed out that my competitors’ skill levels were far superior to mine. He was right. I had to be competitive in high school in order to college rodeo, but I was not even close to placing. I took a look at the facts. I knew I wasn’t a good roper. I’d need a different horse to win in the barrels and poles, and my parents couldn’t afford that. I also knew that rodeoing was already a stressor on my fam- ily. Both my parents worked hard to support my dreams with their time and resources. I felt extra pressure to succeed, to prove I was worth it. ‘If I’m going to compete,’ I thought, ‘I better win.’ I decided to focus on goat tying. If I worked at it, I could get better. I had three Billy goats to practice on at home. During the summer, I would practice tying all three goats every day; one hour a piece. At 8 am every morning, I would get up, turn on the radio, catch one goat and practice tying him for an hour. Then I’d practice on the second goat for another hour, and so on. Each of my Billy goats had a solid set of horns. They were all strong, and pretty wild. One goat would meet me halfway up the ten-foot rope he was staked out on. I would run towards him and he would run to- wards me and he would lunge or butt me, and I would flank and tie him. That goat made me better equipped for when the goats were tough at the rodeos, and eventually, for tying calves. I had many bruises on my chest, arms, and legs from the goats

HEART OF A CHAMPION 47 hitting me. But I wore those bruises as a badge—I had earned them. My parents bought me a stopwatch. Did I ever love that stopwatch. Sometimes Justin would come out and time me. I would have him time how fast I got to the goat and blocked him, how fast I gathered, how fast I tied, and how fast I made the entire run. This practice helped me figure out what worked better, and how to do things faster. I loved be- ing able to see daily improvement, even in just hundredths of a second. After practicing each of my goats in the morning, I’d take a break for lunch, and then I’d ride all my horses and rope my dummy. In the evening I’d work out. Justin and I had set up a huge obstacle course in the sand-pasture and that became part of my exercise routine. We’d created jumps and things to carry and had a huge pile of sand we had to climb over and down. I thought it was a fun way to keep in shape. I practiced obsessively. I worked at it every single day, plus workouts, but I believed that if I was willing to work harder than any- one else, eventually I would get the payoff. And I desperately wanted to go to Nationals. The State High School Finals began June 20th in Buffalo, Wyo- ming. Dad, Grandma Lou, and I arrived on Wednesday. Mom and Justin would join us on the weekend. At that event, I was like a completely different goat tier. No one there remembered me from Casper, my first and only high school rodeo. They didn’t have a clue where this girl and her spotted pony came from. I made two solid, fast runs and qualified for the short round. I won fourth in the Average, but the National qualifiers are picked by the number of overall points and I didn’t have enough points. I came in fifth. I was disappointed, but also had a feeling of momentum. The next day, I immediately went back to my three hours a day goat tying prac- tice. I was just going to have to keep working hard and get even better. My horses always got Monday off, but I always practiced. No days off. I was driven. I continued to rodeo throughout that summer. At the Little

48 DONENE TAYLOR Britches rodeo in Riverton, Wyoming, I won the All-Around in the Senior Girls Division and received a saddle as an award. My confidence began to build. I started pulling into the rodeos knowing I would win. I wasn’t cocky, I just knew I would do well. I felt focused, yet free. Most of all, I was having fun. That fall, the high school rodeos began. I competed in three rodeos during September and October 1979, which counted for my Sopho- more year in 1980. I would be going to Yakima, Washington to the National High School Rodeo Finals next year. It was so exciting and validating. All those hours practicing was paying off. I knew I could only get better.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 49 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THE WORK? There is no quick fix or silver bullet that will help you achieve your goals. If you have a challenging goal, a worthy goal, it is going to be difficult. It is going to take a massive amount of time and a massive amount of work. However, in my experience, it will be worth it. Achieving goals is all about mak- ing small, smart, consistent choices each day that will help move you closer to where you want to be. Those small, smart, consistent choices are usually boring, mundane, unsexy, repetitive and they are usually done when no one else is watching or cheering you on. But it takes what it takes. It’s your choice. It’s in your hands. It’s up to you to do the work. So, the question is: Are you willing? “You can’t hire someone else to do your push-ups for you.” — JIM ROHN, AUTHOR AND MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

50 DONENE TAYLOR It’s Ok to Be the Odd Girl Out In October that year, my fellow students and I were given an assign- ment; we each had to give a demonstration speech in English class. I de- cided to do my speech on goat tying. On presentation day, Dad dropped me off at school and brought my goat with us. He staked the goat out in the grass, and the kids gath- ered around. I did my presentation outside, and when I was done, Dad came and got the goat and put him in the car. The kids probably thought I was crazy for bringing a goat to school, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t worried about being popular. I was only con- cerned with accomplishing my goals. Stan was in this class too. I thought, ‘Well, I’m sure that seals the deal for me. He’ll never want anything to do with me now.’ I told myself, ‘I just don’t care.’ But secretly, I did. One time, a group of kids in sophomore Phys Ed came up behind me. One of the biggest boys in class ran up to me from behind and jokingly grabbed me around the neck. I grabbed him and threw him over my shoulder and onto the gym mat in front of me. Another time, the guys were talking about one-arm push-ups. I bet each of them a dollar I could do ten one-arm push-ups. They agreed, and shortly after they all owed me a buck. Stan was around to witness this hi-jinx. Afterwards I thought, ‘Yep, another strike against me.’ It wasn’t the last time I’d risk being unpopular. And definitely not the last time I’d bet on myself.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 51 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK HOW MUCH WILL YOU CHOOSE TO CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? Looking back, I’m glad that I was willing to risk being unpopular in order to be my- self and pursue the goals that meant so much to me. I’ve had times in my life where I compared myself to others. It was in those times I was not honoring my journey and I was the least happy be- cause I was not grateful for, or celebrat- ing, the gifts I had to offer the world. We’re all on our own journey in life. It’s important to honor that within ourselves. I’ve found that things worked best for me when I didn’t try to be like everyone else and was willing to simply be myself. “You’ll turn out ordinary if you are not careful.” — ANN BRASHARES, AUTHOR

52 DONENE TAYLOR Focus on Fun, Not Failure In 1981, Domino and I won fourth overall in goat tying at the National High School Rodeo Finals in Douglas, Wyoming. I was on cloud nine. Absolutely elated. Just like the day Domino and I won the musical tires event, I thought there could never be a better day, ever! The competition that week had been fierce and elite, and I felt so validated. All my hours of hard work paid off. I’d never once thought I was practicing too much or that it wasn’t worth it. I believed in my plan. I believed in my pony. After that, I remained focused. I was the good girl my parents wanted me to be. I worked hard at school. And most of all, I was dedicated to rodeo. The following year, as a senior, I was committed to winning the National Championship. I’d had a good couple of years, had some wins under my belt, and I believed this must be my year to win Nationals. The big event finally arrived. I won fourth in the first round, but in the second round, I drew a long-legged goat. He was significantly taller than I was used to. My signature move at that time was to catch the goat’s hind legs while they were in the air, take them down to the ground and make the tie. No one else was doing it this way, but I had it down to a science. However, it did not work well on bigger goats, and that was the case here. I overestimated my capabilities and could not manipulate the bigger goat into position. I dropped the legs and he went wild. It took me 14 seconds to tie the goat down. I was embarrassed. My mom’s parents had driven to Douglas, Wy- oming from South Dakota to watch. Afterwards I was disgusted with myself, crying and miserable. I played the run over and over again in my mind, obsessing about my failure. We went back home, and I redirected my focus to the NLBRA Finals, a week-long event that takes place mid-August, just a few weeks after the high school Finals. This year they were in Colorado Springs, Colorado at Penrose Stadium.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 53 Dad and Justin accompanied me to the Finals. Once again, I was determined to win but this time I had a different mindset—I was more focused on having fun. We stayed in a motel during the week and kept the ponies at the fairgrounds. Events took place in the mornings and eve- nings, so with our excess time we played at Chuck E. Cheese every after- noon. By the end of the week, we’d played so many games and racked up so many tickets we won a checkerboard. Justin and I were having a blast. I overheard Dad talking to Mom from a payphone. “Donene really wants to win this,” he said. ‘That’s right,’ I thought. ‘I really do.’ I made my first run in the morning and my second round at night. The goats were once again longer-legged and bigger, so I did not catch the hind legs in the air—I went to the ground with them. I had learned my lesson. Domino and I qualified for the Top 10 Short Round on Saturday afternoon. We were setting second going into the short round. We’d come a long way from having run-a-ways in the pasture, competing in musical tires, 4-H horse shows, and Playdays. This was our last chance—it was down to the wire for us win a National Championship. Justin helped me warm Domino up and led us to the arena’s open gate. Domino was just as wound-up and crazy as ever. And we were off! The run was fast. I was 7.8 seconds—my fastest run ever on Domino. We won! Domino and I were the National Champions! I was proud of myself, and even more proud of Domino. I had come a long way in four years, and Domino had come with me. In the fall I’d be college rodeoing and Domino wouldn’t be cut out for those longer runs. This would be it for him at this level of compe- tition. I felt so grateful for my little pony. The next morning, I sat quietly at the awards ceremony with Dad and Justin. When they called my name, I walked up to the front of the room where the awards were all lined up and accepted my saddle and buckle. I had thought about this moment for a really long time. Inside,

54 DONENE TAYLOR I felt the excitement and jubilation, but on the outside, I was locked down—acting calm and cool. Dad carried the saddle out to the truck. He put it in the backseat of the truck, where it rode home next to Justin. I sat in the front seat of the truck and looked back at it nearly the whole 8-hour drive home. When we got back to the house, I weighed myself. 113 pounds. ‘This is the weight I need to be,’ I thought to myself. ‘This is the weight I will win at.’ I felt so happy. I was proud of all my hard work, and proud of my pony. But I was already thinking about what it would take to keep on winning.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 55 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU HAVING FUN? Having a mindset shift at the NLBRA Finals was instrumental in help- ing me accomplish my goal of winning a National Championship. I would like to say it was intentional, but it was not. We just had fun! Justin and I were busy play- ing, and that helped to keep my attitude positive and allowed me to detach my- self from the outcome. I had been treating all previous Fi- nals as a “Special Event.” I’ve since learned that when we make something “special” we place extra pressure on ourselves. We care too much and hold on too tightly to the outcome. How- ever, when we can let go of the outcome and keep things fun, we set ourselves up to perform freely, uninhibited and in a peak performance state. “When you have fun, it changes all the pressure into pleasure.” — KEN GRIFFEY SR. AND KEN GRIFFEY JR., FIRST FATHER-SON DUO TO PLAY TOGETHER IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

Chapter 3 It’s Always Darkest Just Before the Dawn I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. My college years weren’t what I thought they’d be. After I graduated high school in 1982, I wanted to go down south to college, or at the very least to community college a few hours from my home. I had always dreamed of being part of a strong women’s college rodeo team, but I struggled with the decision to leave home. To help me make my mind up, I took out a sheet of paper and drew a line down the middle of it. On the left side, I wrote out all the reasons

HEART OF A CHAMPION 57 I should go to a college away from home, and on the right side I wrote why I should stay home and go to the local college. The left side of the sheet of paper was full of the new opportunities and experiences I’d have, plus access to a rodeo coach who roped, and an indoor arena on the campus to ride in throughout the year. The right side of the paper had one item on it: Dad. The truth was, I didn’t believe I was even minimally equipped with the life skills I needed to leave home. When it came to navigating life outside the rodeo arena, I still felt like a little girl who relied on her dad for everything. Eventually, with an academic and rodeo scholarship as incentive, I chose to stay home and go to the local college—Casper College. Though it wasn’t exactly my original dream, I was excited. I was going to college rodeo, something I’d had my sights set on since the fifth grade. Unfortunately, when I got there, college wasn’t anything like I im- agined. I hated it. Every day I thought about quitting. The classes were hard, I didn’t know anyone, and I made no effort to make friends. I sat by myself, ate by myself, and practiced by myself. Nothing changed from high school. The isolation I felt was self-inflicted—I was scared to get outside of my bubble. The rodeo competition was also really tough. It felt like my fresh- man year in high school all over again. I didn’t make the College Na- tional Finals. I didn’t socialize, or go to bars, or spend time with boys. My parents had told me to work hard and keep my head down. “Be a good girl,” they reminded me. I finished my two years at Casper College; in order to finish my Bachelor of Science degree I now needed to enroll in a different college. At 20 years old, I choose to attend Chadron State College in Chadron, Nebraska—about three and a half hours from my parents. My college rodeo goals were still everything to me. I decorated my apartment with motivational posters and kept index cards with goals written on them. All I did was study hard, practice, and rodeo.

58 DONENE TAYLOR Meanwhile, I’d been gaining weight. Dad came to my apartment one day and filled my freezer with “Lean Cuisine” frozen meals. “Eat these,” he said. After that, I began exercising a lot and bought some weight loss supplements. I’d do whatever I needed in order to keep my weight in check. In my senior year I met my first boyfriend, “Darryl.” At first, the rela- tionship was new and exciting and moved along at a pretty fast pace. As I found myself getting deeper and deeper into the relationship, I didn’t like what I saw. Darryl would tell me what I could or couldn’t wear, who I could or couldn’t associate with, how I could or couldn’t spend my time. He pointed out things he didn’t like about my body. He was especially mean to me when he drank, and he drank a lot. He didn’t have any hobbies except drinking and socializing. I slowly realized I had gotten myself into a bad relationship. But somehow, I thought if I stuck it out, I could fix things; I could still be a “good girl.” In my senior year I qualified for the College Finals in goat tying. I won fourth in the first round and finished eighth in the Average. Some success, but not exactly what I’d imagined about all through high school. I received my Bachelor of Science in Education from Chadron State College and moved back to Glenrock, where I searched for a teaching position but settled on a job with the Internal Revenue Ser- vice. My relationship with Darryl continued to have its up and downs. During an upward moment, we went to the Courthouse and got married. I thought getting married would fix things. But it didn’t. Darryl got more verbally and physically abusive. He continued to be controlling and manipulative, and he’d make mean comments about my body. He couldn’t hold down a steady job and the finances were all up to me. I

HEART OF A CHAMPION 59 felt like my hands were tied. I knew getting a divorce is not what a “good girl” would do. I told myself, ‘I made my bed, now I must lie in it.’ I consoled myself with the thought, ‘I can change him!’ Meanwhile, I wasn’t riding my horse—he’d been turned out when I took my job at the IRS. I missed riding and competing with all my heart. It seemed like everything in my life was spinning out of control. One night by myself, I took comfort in food. I binged on ice cream, cereal, chips, and cookies, all while drinking diet soda. While the food was going down, it seemed to help. Bingeing took my mind off my problems and made me feel good. But the moment the food was gone, I had a sinking feeling. What I’d done felt catastrophic. I counted up all the cal- ories I had eaten; there was no way I could exercise all those calories off. I went to the bathroom and threw it all up in the toilet. I immedi- ately felt better—it was like an instant release of tension. I was hooked. After a while, I found a new job at a bank, but a couple years later the bank downsized, and my position was eliminated. In May of 1991, I found myself 27 years old, unemployed, and in a bad marriage. Looking back, it’s difficult not to call what happened next Divine Intervention. Since I was out of a job, Darryl went to work for his brother-in-law in Houston. I stayed in Glenrock and looked for a job nearby. Secretly, I did not feel safe moving down to Texas with him. I’d be on his turf. A few weeks later, I got a phone call 3 o’clock in the morning. There was a woman on the other line. I could hear him in the background; he was drunk. “He’s with me now,” the woman said. “He won’t be coming back.” “Good for you,” I said. “I’m really happy for you.” And I meant it. I hung up the phone. It rang again.

60 DONENE TAYLOR I took the phone off the hook. I started divorce proceedings shortly after the phone call. After filing, I drove over to my parents to deliver the news. I knew they’d be disap- pointed in me; getting divorced was not a “good girl” thing to do. But they took it better than I expected, and I moved back in with them. In a few months, I began a new job as an auto claims adjuster for State Farm. I wasn’t riding, wasn’t rodeoing, just working. Each night I went to bed thinking, ‘I will not throw up tomorrow.’ But my private vow never seemed to stick. The next day, after a violent binge-and-purge, I would vow to myself, ‘That’s it. Never, ever again.’ I went through this vicious cycle several times a day. I weighed 113 pounds. The same weight as when Domino and I won the goat tying championship, ten years earlier. I thought I had gotten pretty good at hiding my behavior. Then one night my mom came down to the basement to my bedroom. She was visibly upset. Her friend “May” had told her she thought I had an eating disorder. I stood there looking at her with a blank expression, waiting to hear what she had to say next. “If you are going to do that you need to be more careful,” Mom said. “Don’t embarrass me.” I said nothing. She headed back up the stairs. I felt relieved that we didn’t have to talk about it. I wasn’t mad at Mom for her response. In fact, I didn’t feel anything. I hadn’t felt any- thing for a really long time.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 61 After Darryl and I separated, I invested a lot of time in self-reflection. I was confused about a lot of things, but one thing I knew for certain: I did not want to repeat the mistakes I’d made with Darryl. I knew I needed to reevaluate my life. I was stuck in a destructive eating disorder; I was compulsively exercising—and now I was com- pulsively cleaning too. Yet I was determined to figure things out and make positive changes. I would head in the right direction, one day at a time. It took until October to get the divorce finalized. The day it was done, I got in my red Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme and drove straight to Stan Taylor’s house. Stan was packing his truck to go on a hunting trip. I told him I was divorced, and single, and that I’d like to go out with him sometime. He said he’d call me.

62 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU STUCK IN YOUR FAILURES? My twenties—and the failures and disappointments I experienced in that time—taught me a lot. Most importantly, I learned not to get too stuck in my failures and instead, keep moving forward. None of us are damaged goods. We always have a chance to begin again; we just need to get back up each time we fall down. Think about this: If I took a $100 bill and crumbled it up, would you still want it? If I took that same $100 bill and threw it in the manure pile and piled some more manure on it, would you still want it? I am going out on a limb here and say you would probably accept that $100. (I know I would.) When we make mistakes none of us become less valuable. We all are priceless. So, we must be willing to forgive ourselves and keep mov- ing forward. My past has helped develop me, but it does not define me or my future. Neither does yours. “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” — HENRY FORD, FOUNDER OF FORD MOTOR COMPANY

HEART OF A CHAMPION 63 “You just got scope bit.” Stan called me as soon as he got back from elk hunting with his friends. We started dating and had fun investing time together, mostly out- doors. We’d go hiking and look for antler sheds, or arrowheads. Stan took me places just outside of Glenrock that I’d never been to, and he taught me things I’d never tried before, like archery. I felt a bit challenged, but in a good way. I felt so safe and totally trusted him. Occasionally I got nerv- ous—like hiking in the summer when we had to be on the lookout for rattlesnakes. But I did it anyway. I didn’t want to be a scaredy-cat. After dating for about ten months, Stan took me on my first hunt. We left Glenrock early in the morning, so we could get a good start. We drove to Castle Gardens, a couple hours outside of Glenrock, in Fremont County. I had no idea what to expect or what to do. We talked it about and practiced shooting our guns, but it was still all new to me. Stan believed there was an antelope herd up over a nearby rocky ridge. We got really quiet as we stalked the antelope up the ridge. The sun had come up and it was cool and quiet. As we got halfway up, Stan dropped his body lower, towards the ground. I was copying everything he did. Before I know it, we were belly crawling over the rocks and sagebrush, trying to miss the little cacti. We inched our way up to the top and there was a herd of antelope and one buck antelope. My license was for a buck. “Get your gun ready and into position,” Stan whispered. I did so. “Do you see the buck?” I nodded. “Take your gun safe off.” I did. The buck was broadside. Stan told me to put the crosshairs right behind his shoulder, and I followed his instructions. I pulled the trigger. The buck instantly went down. The rest of the herd scattered. Stan was so excited. I was excited too, pleased that I did everything

64 DONENE TAYLOR right. We hiked down to the buck, with Stan leading the way and me trailing right behind him. Then I felt something wet rolling down my face. It was blood. When the gun had recoiled, the scope had hit me right above my right eye. I didn’t have a solid hold on the gun; I’d been holding it too loose. “You just got ‘scope bit,’” Stan said. “Don’t worry, it’s happened to me too.” Stan opened his fanny pack. He carefully cleaned my face and put a big band aid on it. Then he situated the buck, took out his camera, and took a picture of me next to it, holding his 30.06 gun. When we got back to Stan’s place, his friends started showing up. Stan’s place was a popular hangout. He made me feel pretty special, showing my antelope to the guys. They all said it was a good first an- telope, and they made me feel better as they shared their “scope bit” stories. One of Stan’s closest friends, Slugger, joked with me saying, “That scope bite will probably leave a permanent mark.” I shrugged. “Nothing a little Estée Lauder can’t take care of.” Stan made a beautiful horn plaque mount for me to have as a tro- phy. Later, Stan had the gun stock cut down on his 30.06 to fit me better and gave it to me as a gift. I enjoyed hunting, but secretly I was mostly in it to invest time with Stan.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 65 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK WHAT’S YOUR “SCOPE BIT” STORY? I’ve learned that getting outside my comfort zone can be hard and chal- lenging. It does not always go as planned. Sometimes we get “scope bit.” But it’s in these times we learn about ourselves. If we’re lucky, it’s in these times that our true friends show up and help us rally and give it another shot. And, if we’re really lucky, our friends will be vulner- able with us and share their own “scope bit” stories so we don’t feel so alone. If we’re willing to show up, and maybe even share the stories of our mistakes and failures, getting ‘scope bit’ can actually be a chance to learn, grow, and connect with others. “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” — BRENÉ BROWN, RESEARCH PROFESSOR AND AUTHOR

66 DONENE TAYLOR It’s Ok to Ask for Help Stan and I moved in together in January of 1993. A few months later, I began to feel unwell. I was queasy in the mornings and I realized I’d missed my period for a couple months. My periods were often irregular due to my compulsive exercise and bulimic practices, but this time I wondered if I was pregnant. I took the test. Positive. I was pregnant. I felt surprised, excited, scared, and anxious all at once. When delivering the news to Stan, I was very nervous and very seri- ous. I had no idea what he would say. We hadn’t talked about having children. But Stan was so happy about it. Everything was good! He later told me he’d thought I was going to break it off with him, I was so nervous. At the end of July, Stan and I decided to get married. First, we went to the mall and bought me a wedding ring. It was Black Hills gold with a diamond in the middle. We decided to keep the wedding small, just Stan and I at the church, with the pastor and our two witnesses, James Hintz (Slugger) and Chad Benson—two awesome guys we went to high school with. When it was all over, we went to the Shoreliner Bar and the guys had a beer, I had a soda, and we drove back home. It was just the way I wanted it. I felt so good while I was pregnant. A little queasy, but otherwise great. I felt hopeful, happy and grateful the entire time. Without any conscious effort or struggle, my eating disorder disap- peared. It was never on my mind. The doctor said to gain 30 pounds, and I gained 30 pounds on the dot. On January 21, 1994, I began having contractions at 6:00 am. At

HEART OF A CHAMPION 67 7:35 pm, Hunter was born. He was 7 lbs., 7 oz. Suddenly, everything changed. I was a mom. The first few months of motherhood were the hardest I’d ever had. I felt like I didn’t know what to do, and I questioned everything I did. I felt depressed, and I struggled, but I didn’t want anyone to know how hard it was. Not even Stan. Eventually I revealed to my doctor how I’d been feeling, and he suggested a counsellor. But I was ashamed. My parents had always talked negatively about such things; if someone sought out help, they’d be called “weak.” I thought I should be able to snap out of it, get it together, be tough, be Superwoman. My doctor followed-up a couple times, asking me whether I’d con- tacted Julie Fox, the counsellor he recommended. It took me weeks to finally do it. Meanwhile, I worked out a lot and started falling back into eating disorder mode. I didn’t want to go back to being bulimic—I truly loathed myself for doing it—so I decided I would severely restrict my calories instead. Within weeks I dropped all 30 pounds of baby weight, and then some. I was afraid of going to see Julie, but I was determined to be the best mom I could be for Hunter. I said to myself, ‘I am not going to Be My Mom. I am going to do everything different. I am going to break the cycle.’ Julie Fox wound up being a game-changer for me. She helped me get back on my feet. I had no idea then that she’d wind up being my counsellor for over two decades, playing an integral role in helping me through the many challenges that were yet to come.

68 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP? I’ve learned there is no shame, and no weakness in asking for profes- sional help with anything—especially mental health issues. It takes strength, courage, and forti- tude to seek out and work with a profes- sional, and it is worth it. That’s what was necessary for me to heal and get the strategies I needed to live a healthy and wholehearted life. Think about it: If we break an arm, we don’t hesitate to go to the doctor to get the proper professional medical care we need and deserve. We take the all the necessary steps to get rehabilitated and make a full recovery. Mental health issues should not be viewed any differently. “There isn’t anybody out there who doesn’t have a mental health issue, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or how to cope with relationships. Having OCD is not an embarrassment anymore – for me. Just know that there is help and your life could be better if you go out and seek the help.” — HOWIE MANDEL, COMEDIAN AND ACTOR

HEART OF A CHAMPION 69 Letting Go Is Hard On April 8th, 1994, the phone rang. It was Dad. As soon as I answered the phone, I knew something was wrong. I could hear that Dad was crying. He told me that Domino had died. I was shocked; I had no idea that Domino was doing poorly. Dad had never mentioned anything about it. Domino was at Dad’s property, and Dad asked if Stan could come and bury him. I called Stan, who got a backhoe, and buried Domino under a large Cottonwood tree. It was cold and snowy that day. Dom- ino had a horse blanket on him when he died, and Stan buried him with the blanket on. I was so sad; I couldn’t bring myself to go to the property for Dom- ino’s burial. I felt so guilty, since it had been months since I’d seen him. I knew that Dad took good care of him, but I still don’t understand why he didn’t warn me that he wasn’t well. I felt hurt. While Stan was taking care of Domino, I stayed at home with Hunter. I thought back to all the amazing times I had with Domino. I smiled and laughed thinking about how wound up and crazy he would act before we would compete. What a phenomenal pony he was. How important he was to me and my life. How I loved him. Tears dripped down my face as I took a moment to feel deeply grateful for my pony. I knew I’d given Domino my heart and he’d given me his. I just wish I’d had a chance to say goodbye. “Goodbye, Domino,” I whispered. I knew I’d always be his girl.

70 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU SAD TO SAY GOODBYE? There are not too many bonds in life that are more powerful and gen- uine than a girl and her pony. Letting go can be hard sometimes. In those moments, all we can do is feel our feelings, and be grateful for the times we’ve had. “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.” — DR. SEUSS, AUTHOR

HEART OF A CHAMPION 71 “Run down that dream.” In 1995, Hunter was just over a year and a half, and I was still working as an auto claims adjuster at State Farm. I was busy being a wife and mother. But I was feeling that old dream bubble up again in my heart. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop dreaming about competing— about one day, winning the World Championship in tie-down roping. In mid-August there was going to be a Women’s Professional Ro- deo in Douglas, Wyoming just 25 miles east of my home. It was a scheduled event of the Wyoming State Fair. I didn’t have a rodeo horse at the time, but I needed to get a rodeo fix, somehow. I figured I would go down and be a spectator, so I asked my employer for a vacation day. As I drove my red Oldsmobile into the fairgrounds, I could feel my heart start to pound, and my palms get sweaty. I hurried to find a place to park so that I wouldn’t miss a thing. I was amazed by the number of rodeo rigs that were already there. License plates were from all over: Texas, Oklahoma, Arizona, Kansas, Colorado, Nebraska, South Da- kota, Montana, New Mexico, Arkansas, and of course, Wyoming. I took a seat in the contestant’s bleachers. I heard the names being called, and it was as though everything I’d been reading about for years had finally come to life. All the women I admired in professional rodeo were there. I thought to myself, ‘I am here.’ Just being amongst them made me feel alive. As I sat in the bleachers, I looked over and saw one of my old friends, Tish Hier. Tish and I rodeoed together in Little Britches when we were younger, and we’d both rodeoed in college. “What are you doing these days?” she asked. I said, “Well, you know I’m working at State Farm…” “Are you rodeoing?” “No,” I admitted. “I haven’t rodeoed since ‘87.” Tish was up in the evening, performing in the tie-down roping. She and her friend Jamie were both rodeoing, and I could see they were having a good time. I could have been jealous but instead, I felt so

72 DONENE TAYLOR excited—like a spark had been lit. When the event was over, I headed home. The moment Stan got home from work, I said, “Hey, do you care if I go back and watch the evening performance?” Stan stayed with Hunter that night and I drove the 25 miles back to Douglas. That hadn’t been the plan, but I just had to go back. Once again, I felt completely in my element. I was so happy. I watched Tish rope her tie-down calf and took notice of how she held her slack. She caught that calf right out front. She stepped off, hold- ing her slack, and something happened within me. That image of Tish lit the fire. I felt a burning desire in my heart to be back in the game. As I sat, watching, I listened to the pro girls talk, laugh, and tell stories. I watched them come through the bleacher area wearing their World Champion buckles. I felt overwhelmed with the desire—the need—to be rodeoing like them. When I walked in the door at home that night, it was obvious: I was positively lit up inside. My dream had been in embers, but it finally got its spark. Stan could see it too. “Let’s get you a horse,” he said. “Let’s run down that dream.”

HEART OF A CHAMPION 73 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOUR HEART? This time in my life taught me the importance of listening to my heart and following the things that bring me joy. To listen to my heart, I get still and quiet, and see what comes up. If I really listen, the desires of my heart start to “bubble up.” Following my heart is when I am the most authentic, creative, and en- thusiastic. If I’m willing to listen, my heart won’t steer me wrong—and neither will yours. “Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World and it will one day return there.” — PAULO COELHO, AUTHOR OF THE ALCHEMIST

74 DONENE TAYLOR Fire Before You’re Ready I started researching horses right away. Though it was a long, slow pro- cess to find one, my search brought some invaluable surprises. While looking for a horse, I learned of a tie-down roping school in Powell, Wyoming. When I saw who was instructing the school, I could not believe it: Joe Beaver. Like any loyal rodeo fan, I followed all the great cowboys, especially the tie-down ropers, and Joe was a multiple time World Champion. I really wanted to go to that school, but I had a slight problem. I did not have a calf horse yet. Nonetheless, I was bound and determined to find a way to go to that school. I decided to think outside the box. I asked myself, “What can I do to get to that school even though I do not have my own horse, yet?” I decided to call the producer of the school and ask him if he knew of a calf horse for sale, or one I could lease for the school. He said he had a friend who was selling a horse and he was pretty sure his friend would allow me to rope a few calves on him during the school. I agreed. I just knew this was the calf horse for me and my search would be over. I was over-the-top excited: I was going to my first tie-down school. I believed it was just a short matter of time before I would run down this dream of mine. It was a cool, sunny day in late March when I arrived at the school. All the students, about 20 of us, milled around outside the barn. The producer announced that Joe could not make it but that an- other World Champion Tie-Down Roper would be teaching this school. He then introduced the 1990 Professional Rodeo Cowboys As- sociation (PRCA) World Champion and 1993 PRCA National Finals Average Champion, Troy Pruitt. I couldn’t believe it. I was going to learn from Troy Pruitt! What an amazing opportunity. We headed over to the barn to rope the roping dummies. Troy talked to us about roping and his experiences and ex- pectations for the school. Troy is 6’4” with a strong athletic build, and his confident voice carried into the entire barn. He looked me in the

HEART OF A CHAMPION 75 eye when he spoke to me. He had a presence about him, but not cocky. I hung onto every word. We got into groups of four and took turns roping the roping dum- mies on the ground. I was the only woman there, but I didn’t mind. We roped in the barn for a solid hour. Then, as it was warming up outside, we moved out to the outdoor arena where we practiced tying calves from the post. The process went something like this: the guys would bring up four or five calves from the catch pen and tie them along the fence. The calves were attached to a twenty-foot rope, spaced thirty feet apart. We got back into groups of four, and took turns running down the rope, practicing flanking and tying each calf. A couple of guys would help hold the calf straight. While one roper would get ready, the other roper would make a practice run. We all got a turn or two on each calf. Then we’d turn that calf loose—the guys would go back to the catch pen— and get a fresh calf. Basically, everyone would take a couple practice runs, and repeat. We did this for a few hours. This was the first real formal instruction I’d ever had tying calves. I was a clean slate. Sure, I’d watched a lot of tie-down calf roping, and I’d even competed in it, but this was the first formal instruction where I was learning the proper way to tie calves. It was hard. No doubt about it. The calves were heavy. I’m only 5’2”. I’m strong, but I’m not a man. Troy showed me how to nose the calf down. He demonstrated an alternative way to bring the calf onto his side, so I could tie-down larger calves. In Troy’s standard method, he began the run as normal, running down the rope, and blocking the calf in front of the calf’s chest with his left leg. He lifted the rope with his left hand, next to the calf’s neck. Meanwhile, he grabbed the flank with his right hand, rolled the calf up onto his thighs and took a step backwards, thus flanking the calf. The new technique was a bit different. In this case, he wrapped his left arm around the calf’s head and turned the calf’s head back, so his

76 DONENE TAYLOR nose faced his tail. Troy’s right hand still had a deep hold onto the flank. As he had the calf’s head and nose turned it gave him leverage. As he took a step or two backwards the calf fell onto his left side. This technique used leverage over strength and was performed as one fluid motion. Once the calf fell over onto his left side, Troy was ready to string the right front leg, gather both back legs, and tie with the piggin’ string. I’d never seen anyone doing this, ever. I knew from my goat tying experience that groundwork is everything, and I loved the idea of using leverage. It would allow me to stay competitive even if the calf weighed a lot or was really tall. I would no longer be a one-trick pony. I now had two different strategies for different situations. ‘This is my ticket,’ I thought. It was a tough morning. By the end of it, my hands were sore, and I was sweating. I’d even been kicked a few times. Yet I said nothing. I didn’t quit. I noticed everybody else was sweating and breathing hard too. Some guys were putting tape on their fingers because their hands and fingers were sore and blistered. Through it all, I listened attentively to every word Troy said. I took it all in, absorbing the lessons, watching intently, making mental notes. I didn’t visit with the guys. I wasn’t there to socialize; I was there to learn. At lunchtime, everyone dispersed. I went to the grocery story, got a loaf of bread, lunchmeat, mustard, and chips. I went back to my room and made two sandwiches and wolfed them down. Immediately after lunch, we saddled our horses and began putting the entire run together. We took turns, one at a time, roping from the roping box, and making a run. Troy was always so patient, positive, and encouraging as we each struggled to put a run altogether. He empha- sized proper technique instead of speed. “Today, it’s not how fast you can make a run,” he said. I liked that philosophy! I enjoyed focusing on doing the steps correctly, and I liked the hard work. When the day was done, I felt great. I was covered in sweat, dirt

HEART OF A CHAMPION 77 and a bit of my own blood. I washed my clothes in the motel laundry room and prepared for the next day. I was sore, the next day, but I’d never admit it. Some guys com- plained about soreness, and taped up their fingers, but not me. I was just as excited as the previous day. I focused on doing everything Troy told me to do. I was going to take home as much knowledge as I possibly could. The school wasn’t cheap—it cost $400, plus two nights in a motel room, and gas. Not to mention the horse I wanted to buy: his price tag was $5,500. Not a small amount of money. But I was investing in my dream. It was amazing to watch Troy. He tied like a machine. Never made a mistake. I had been around a couple pro ropers before, but I’d never seen anyone who was that solid, fast, and gave that much effort every time. He was not competing, he was teaching, and yet he gave his full effort, everything he had, each and every time. During the entire two-day school, I worked harder than ever before. I didn’t hold back. I wasn’t timid when tying. I didn’t let it bother me that I was the only girl. I just kept thinking, ‘I must learn this. I am going to figure this tying thing out.’ Over the five-hour drive home, the events of the past couple days kept running through my mind. What was said. What I saw. How Troy taught us. I had the distinct feeling that my life was about to change. I said to myself, ‘I am going to rodeo and tie-down calves.’ I was stiff and sore by the time I got home. My legs were covered in bruises, but I didn’t mind. It reminded me how hard I worked the past two days. I was dirty. I was happy. I was hooked.

78 DONENE TAYLOR DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK ARE YOU WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME? I’ve learned that sometimes I need to be willing to pull the trigger on an action even if I don’t have everything planned out and aligned perfectly. In or- der to do this, I’ve had to think outside the box, get outside my comfort zone, and to follow my instincts. Sometimes, when we’re willing to pull the trigger and go for it before everything is perfectly aligned, things somehow just work out. We meet the person we need to meet, we get the expe- rience we need in order to grow, or we take the next step we didn’t know existed. Have there been times when I pulled the trigger before I was ready, and it did not work out? Absolutely! But it was in those mistakes and failures the best thing happened: I learned. “Ready, fire, aim. Do it! Make it happen! Action counts. No one ever sat their way to success.” — TOM PETERS, AUTHOR

HEART OF A CHAMPION 79 Never Let Go of Your Dreams I had a great time at the school, but I still had a problem: I had no horse. The horse I rode at the school was nice, but he wasn’t a fit for me. Troy put me in touch with Brian Fulton, another PRCA Cham- pion who lived in Valentine, Nebraska. Brian invited me to his ranch to try out a calf horse. Right away I knew he was a fit. He was a way cool horse, and he clearly knew a lot more about tie-down roping than me. I bought that that little horse for $6,500, took him home, and fell in love with him. His name was Frenchman’s Favor. I called him, Tyger. I was eager to get back to my dream of winning the world. With Tyger, I worked away at things, getting a bit of help from Troy and Brian, and roping at home. I started competing at smaller rodeos, just getting some reps in with break-a-way roping and tie-down roping as well as goat tying. In August 1996, I entered my first WPRA rodeo, at our State Fair in Douglas. Once again, I used one of my vacation days to attend the rodeo. As I pulled in, I thought, ‘Last year I was a spectator but today I am entered.’ I arrived a little before 8 am to watch the slack, (the ‘overflow’ of contestants who aren’t performing in the main performance.) I wanted to see what the calves were like, and see what the barrier was set at, and strategize what start I would take that evening when I competed. I parked my red Oldsmobile and went to the rodeo office and paid my entry fees. I heard the announcer say names like JJ Hampton, Betty Gale Cooper-Ratliff, Jamie Marcum, Jeana Brooks, Lisa Gasperson. These were names that I recognized. ‘These are the girls that are win- ning,’ I thought. I was like a kid in a candy store, amazed by everything. All that I had read about and dreamed about over the years was coming to life. “I am here,” I said to myself. I was thrilled to be a part of the action.

80 DONENE TAYLOR The goat tying was my first event, and it was a tough one. I ended up splitting fifth and sixth, which meant I got a check for just over $100. I was excited about that. Then it was time to tie-down rope. I was in the same performance as Betty Gayle Cooper-Ratliff. Betty Gayle won eight World Cham- pionship titles in the WPRA. I was excited, not intimidated. I was ready to go. I’d been practicing, I’d been training, and I truly believed, with all my heart, that I was going to win. The chute opened. My little calf ran a bit to the right, but I plucked him off and got him caught. Tyger worked the rope flawlessly. I ran down the rope, flanked the calf, and tied him. My run was 16 seconds and I won fourth. Once again, I got a check. At the end of the day I thought, ‘There is never going to be a better day than today.’ There have been a few times in my life when I could say, “I’ve had such a great day that if I die today, then I am a happy girl.” That was one of them. That run is still on my highlight reel.

HEART OF A CHAMPION 81 DIGGING DEEPER – DO THE WORK WHAT’S YOUR DREAM REALLY TELLING YOU? I learned that my desire to run down this dream is more than just achieving the dream itself. This dream is a vehicle that will help me navigate where I need to go, so I can become who I am meant to be. “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.” — STEVE JOBS, CO-FOUNDER OF APPLE COMPUTER

82 DONENE TAYLOR Get Back on the Horse In August, I was pregnant again. I was very excited, and so was Stan. This time, I felt more competent. I knew without a doubt that I would continue rodeoing. Even being a mother of two with a full-time career, I never once questioned whether I would need to put my dreams on hold. The spark had been lit, and that last rodeo season was fanning it into flames. Roper was born on April 3, 1997, two weeks overdue. He was big- ger than his brother, weighing in at 8 lbs. 11 oz. We’d named Hunter after Stan’s passion—hunting. And now Roper was named after mine. I knew after I had Roper, I would be making a run for the Finals. I’d taken six months maternity leave, so I wasn’t going back to work until mid- September. My goal in that time was to take care of my boys, and rodeo. Six weeks after giving birth, I’d lost almost all the weight I’d gained during pregnancy. I was getting Tyger legged up and well-conditioned, Roper was thriving, and the doctor had given me his approval. I was all set and ready to rodeo. I bought my WPRA roping card. This would be my first year as a WPRA member. My first year as a professional. I would not miss a step. I loved that summer with my boys. Stan would take Hunter and Roper to the babysitters, Dottie and Freda, in the morning, while I worked out at our house. At 8 am, I’d rope with my dad for a few hours. I would pick up the boys before noon, and we’d go home, play, eat lunch, nap a little, and invest the rest of the day together. It was hard sometimes, trying to train with two little kids. I would try to lay them down in the afternoon, and it could be a struggle to get them both to take a nap at the same time. But I was persistent because if I could get them to lay down for a little bit then I could go lay down and visualize my 9-second tie-down roping runs. Of course, I didn’t actually have the skill set to do a 9-second run yet. But I chose to believe it was possible.