Liberty 21

Valentina Benderski Redemption This monotonous splashing, This monogammic* humming Of the archaic tune Of the unceasing waves One and only conductor Orion keeps on playing In the infernal darkness Like in starry cascade. I came up to Nereus In search of inspiration. The Moon – ‘Sun of the nightfall’ Poured its glowing light On repolished and shiny Sandy parquet work beneath And kept watching me walking Through the one-eye lorgnette. It was me, who the only Did not pray the rosary At the night of the Pesach. At the Nature concert I put on summer coat Trying pallium instead, As an actress in drama Of firstborn Lilith. * Monogammic – within one musical scale. 201

Либерти: Valentina Benderski Although Orion shone up With its tri-star charisma And a living nebula Меssiеr-42 And ozone of Nereus At this shank of the evening Had redeemed all the wrongness Of the day, I’d passed through. 202

Либерти: Valentina Benderski Parallels Tel-Aviv is embathing its body, Wrapped in lacy cloudy welt, With the tune of the frisky poppling Into bosom of mild South night. Orion, the lead singer, appeared In the sky, watching us from above, Splashing out star musical scale, Starting practicing opera lines. In a year or five or a hundred Requiem will be sung those days Over the constellation of sontia Of Ukranian unhampered land. Nenka’ll* cry out her bitter tears Hiding her pain inside the palm. And will rise from the ashes by little Though weak, rising her banner high. And new hundreds of thousands will rise And will clean up their dear own home, Which was blotted by a shabby hobo Narrow-minded Kremlin majordomo. Thoughts keep on crisscrossing parallels In the halcyon peace of the sky, And the minstrel starlings are embracing Palm groves waiting for them a long while. Beetroot cheeks of the sky sweetly blush up In a waiting for dream and delight. Sprouts are filling out with vigour. Spring is eagerly waiting for Love. * Nenka – Mother Ukraine. 203

Liudmila Lazebnaya True friend needs no orders Some recollections of my childhood and my dog Pop Visit Charlik came to us at the dead of autumn that very year when should I stay home? It’s time for school! Mom, without thinking about this gift another time, though. So, one morning, when my Granny and I were at home alone, someone climbed up our porch. Granny went on drinking her tea, smacking her toothless mouth, sighing, and paid no notice to the intruder. I approached her and whispered: ‘Gran, oh, Gran! Do you here someone walking and making noise out there?’ Granny sipped her tea loudly from the saucer, looking up at me, and said: ‘It’s just wind.’ ‘Can the wind growl?’ ‘It can howl, love.’ Suddenly ‘the wind’ started roaring. I was scared and crawled quickly under the bed to boggle the- re I I have!’ I thought. ‘Mila, come on, get out and come along! Look, what a ‘pop visit’ we have here!’ she said in a loud voice. pane, saw a tiny puppy, completely soaked, trembling from whimpered from time to time. I approached Granny boldly. 204

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘Has he come to me? Let’s keep him!’ me bringing home either kittens, or puppies. She loved order and cared for our health a lot. But Granny looked at the puppy and me and said: ‘We both shall pay for this! But can we throw the guest out? Look, what snow is there! Poor thing will freeze to death! Come in, Charlie Chaplin!’ Later I learned why she had called him such name. The puppy had a funny innocent muzzle, thin, crooked paws and a black spot under the nose, looking like moustache. Granny wiped puppy’s fur and muzzle with a piece of cloth, poured him some warm milk and added a small loaf of bread. The puppy had his meal, stretched, yawned and rested himself on the rug at the doorway. Granny was petting him and smiling and I was waiting patiently for the permission to play with him after his nap. I was sitting on the sofa among the cushions and had a chat in whisper with my dolls, also waiting for a new friend. While Granny was clicking her knitting needles making something and smiling, watching him above her spectacle frames. Charlik soon lay beside Granny’s arm-chair and I was allowed to play with him. I remember him sniffing me moving his little nose and spitting funnily. ‘He likes you,’ Granny said. ‘Look how he spits! Dogs show affection this way. You’ll make great friends!’ And so we did... First Stride A dog and a girl, whose life became much more exciting since steps, wagging his tail with joy. I wondered how it happened that he had been recently so small while I was big, but then the New Year came and he changed while I remained the same. 205

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘Why has he grown so fast?’ I asked Granny and got another answer each time. Once she said, that he had been eating porridge quickly and licking his bowl until is shined, and another time the answer was that he drinks cod-liver oil without disgust. And once the answer was the following: ‘He’s a dog, a true human friend. He hurries to grow up to help with the household, return favor and play with you without fear that you may hurt him.’ I was happy to get any answer and felt delighted and cozy hea- ring Granny’s words. I wanted to hug Charlik tight and bring to my room, as I used to do a couple of month before, pet him and dress in jackets and hats. No way! Charlik resisted hard and did not let hug him. He would twist out of my arms and sprang, sticking his tongue out, wagging his tail like a huge feather, cheerfully and lively. Granny once told me a story, that Dog was the first animal that came to serve Human, swore allegiance and promised to help him hunting, defend from enemies and warm up from cold. I listened to her with great attention and wondered how Charlik and I would hunt together and after whom. Long-expected spring came and it became sunny and warm outside. The snow grew darker melting in the Sun, turning into puddles. Thaw holes shone up. Charlik and I decided to have a stride while Granny was busy and parents and brothers were out. I quickly put on my fashionable red rubber boots, a cap and a coat and we went to the river. Huge ice-plates we passing in a rush hitting one another with a loud crash, while the water did not bi- cker but roared, coming out through narrow holes under the ice, as if someone had opened a thousand of taps at a time. I was standing at the bank watching the roaring waters and could not take my eyes away. At least, I thought so. The flow was so strong that if someone would like to sing, as I would sing from time to time, pretending myself a stage actress, no sound might be heard. But I thought I was singing wonderful- 206

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ly, because I was doing it very loudly. So loud I was, that Granny used to say: – Azokhn vey! Af ale soynim guezukt! And she used to smile, wiping her eyes watching me. Only later I found out that she used to say: “I really wish that all Granny another time, and that moment my loyal friend and I went for a walk for the first time, so to say, we went ‘hunting’. So, the water roared and seethed. Suddenly a snow plate under my feet cracked so loud, as if someone hit it with a large axe from beneath. I failed to realize anything, but Charlik grabbed me with his teeth by the coat and dragged fiercely from the water. Having fallen on the hard snow, covered with black ice, and I hurt my cheek and both hands. ‘Are you crazy?!’ I shouted. ‘Don’t you see that a person is in deep thinking?! How dared you to grab me like this? I scratched my hands! And my cheek hurts!’ But Charlik just snarled in his doggish language, licking my face and making fuss around, insisting on going away from the dangerous spot as soon as possible. After pottering and grizzling for a while I rose. Frankly speaking, I was not a cry-baby at all. What’s the use crying if not a single soul except myself and my dog hears me? I cleaned my trousers from snow and ice flakes with a last-year sage and rushed up the path. Suddenly something crushed and grumbled behind me. Having turned round, I noticed a large part of a snow bank where I had recently stood, crashed into the river and rapidly went down the stream, slipping on the side. ‘Well, float then!’ I said to the ice and stepped out after my canine friend. It was our first real adventure, which could have been kept se- cret used to be our neighbor and kept sitting by the window due to her illness. She watched the whole scene from her ‘observation point’ 207

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya and informed my parents later. Certainly, Mom told me off and forbade leaving home alone, without Granny or brothers, until the young grass appeared. But since Charlik received a title of ‘handy and necessary creature’ in my Mom’s mind. It seemed to me, he would share this with his ‘comrades’, other dogs in the neigh- borhood. Each sunny day they would gather on the clearing befo- re our house, stretch on the ground, while Charlik watched them from his favorite spot, which was a huge pile of sand. Charlik and Granny Mina So unusual our world is! There are joy and sorrow, delight and pain at the same time, there is everything one needs. How can one become a Human if not? That’s it! Not only good events shape and train one’s character. A real Human nature is being hardened like steel during the whole life, by going through sufferings, and staying grounded at the time of luck and success. This fact we used to discuss with Granny Mina. She became grand-mother in her fifty-two. Despite some han- kering , bro- ken dreams and other ‘life gifts’ listed alphabetically, existing in a wise book, called ‘Medical encyclopedia’, Granny used to find reasons to speculate over various subjects and make enthusiastic conclusions. She could not stand long women’s patters and refu- sed to tell about the period when she turned from a respectful fa- mily girl into an old woman in her thirties. I would not trouble her resting soul with those recollections child- hood and adolescent years and thrown into Vorkutlag hell due to, at first sight, banal reasons, which had been her nationality and a ‘public enemy’ husband. ‘If not for Sonya, I’d never stay with you now and would have been buried there!’ she used to say, showing that she refused to discuss that time, which was called ‘there’ in our family. 208

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya Granny managed to save her joyful character, and any edu- cated man of today could be jealous to her sharp mind. As she was the eldest in the family, all of us looked up at her unwillingly and followed her example in behavior, way of communication, what to say and what better not to. Certainly, it was allowed to think over and discuss any interesting subject. ‘The thought goes first, the word always follows’ was the unspoken law of our fa- mily, which Granny had fixed. By the way, she was directly in- volved into my puppy’s treatment. She taught him to behave him- self and act wisely, Charlik was listening attentively, watching her and sighing. ‘You’re such a silly child! Just wait, I’ll strike you at the part, where your back legs grow, and you’ll think then, if you can gnaw anything! You’ll get your ‘sleeper’ and stop frightening hens! You just wait!’ However, she never punished the dog. Nevertheless, either her talks He used to play, walk and idle with me, whilst he used to learn how to become a ‘a good dog, deserving to stay in the masters’ house not only in cold or rainy days but also in the good days of sum- mer. Once she allowed Charlik to come inside in a rainy day and lie down on the rug before the fire. I was pretending to be an artist, because Dad had brought me water colors and a drawing book from the city. I loved the present so much and supposed that Dad had noticed my painting talent, so I must have started to paint right away to become a good painter, because the one who hesita- tes is lost. I was painting my pet and Granny sitting in her favorite arm- chair with a large old book, written in strange letters, to my mind. She would read it more and more often lately. Later I learned that it was a book of Jewish prayers. Our Granny supposed that one should pray in Yiddish according to special prayer-books, where 209

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya short petitions to Jewish Mother were collected. It was hard to overestimate the power of those prayers accompanied by a pure tear (‘mame’ in Yiddish). It could pull down the strongest wall between Jews and Good Lord. She used to say it to Sonya, but Sonya had her own opinion about the ‘connections above’. Such a pity, that so much was lost and forgotten and even mo- re had lacked attention during our life! There is a tendency now to return to the roots. I think it is worth doing. A human, who knows nothing about their kin, without respect to their ancestors and national traditions, is like a tree without roots. with snow outdoors. The wind was tearing off the last leaves and throwing it into the pedestrians, windows and stuffing them into the holes and corners. On the contrary it was cozy and warm insi- de. Suddenly Charlik shook, sprang and rushed to the door with a loud bark. ‘What’ up?’ Granny put on her thick knitted sherpa jacket and hurried after the dog to the street, while he ran at full fling to the neighboring house. ‘Where’re you going? What have you smel- led?’ Granny was hurrying for dear life, and I also decided to dress up and follow them. Hardly had I come out, jumped down the stairs, next but one as usual, because I found it boring to descend normally, a loud crack and slam reached my ears. A huge old ash branch fell from a great height on the neighbors’ porch, unable to bear the weight of wet snow covering its sprouts and leaves. Granny did not manage to dodge so the upper branches rapidly and unexpectedly fell upon her. I screamed of fear and rushed towards her at full fling. At the same time Charlik turned and ran for help, too. He went on coming up and grabbing the branches with his teeth, trying to rescue Granny from the captivity. Having reached Granny, I was crying and sobbing. The wind was tearing my unbuttoned coat down; the snow was smacking me into the face and piercing my eyes and did not let me get a lungful of 210

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya fresh air. I was trying tooth and nail to take the branches off my Granny, but I was too little and failed. ‘Gra-a-any-y-y! I’m almost there! Don’t die, plee-e-ease, dear Granny!’ I was screaming with great fear, having noticed a tiny trace of blood streaming from her nose. Charlik managed to crawl underneath and started to lick Gran- ny’s face and arm, crushed down with a thick ash brunch. I was crying and twitching the branches trying to break those, which I was able to break. Thanks God, it was just an ash! Its wood is quite fragile. I managed to break some, which had covered Gran- ny's face. I dug wet snow and my hands were frozen with cold and disobeyed. I had forgotten my mittens and there were han- ging from the coat sleeves. Finally Granny recovered her senses and made an effort to free herself. That very moment the neigh- bors’ door flashed open and Uncle Paul appeared at the doorstep. He was frightened, however, approached quickly and turned a huge knot aside to let Granny and Charlik free. ‘ ?’ Granny rested upon his arm and rose with an effort, shaking herself off the small sprouts and snow. I grabbed her by the jacket and cried out loud, smearing tears across my face. ‘It was long since I’ve decided to cut this ash down,’ Uncle Paul sputtered out. ‘Yet did not get around to! How are you? Do you feel your back and legs well?’ Granny nodded. ‘Holy God! Today is the anniversary of the bad day several years ago when a tree fell upon me at logging camp! It seems, my time hasn’t come yet!’ she said in a low voice, resting on Uncle Paul’s arm. died.’ Granny stopped dead and whispered, flinging her arms. 211

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘ dog called me. I was thinking if anything could happen while y- ou’re away, working. Maria could not rise by herself. And here the brunch came! Poor Maria! I failed to part with you!’ Granny went on lamenting. I realized that something really wrong had happened to the Granny’s best friend, Maria, even worse than the fact that we had been paralyzed for several years and could only wink or cry, when Granny and I had paid her visits. Granny rose to the porch accompanied by Uncle Paul and then turned to me and said: ‘Go home, sweetie, and I’ll stay. Don’t cry, love, I’m alive, everything is well. Look, Dad is coming back from work. Don’t be afraid. And thank you,’ she addressed Charlik. ‘Such a clever and devoted dog you are! You’ve saved my arm. If you did not crawl under the brunch, it would crash me to death.’ Charlik was sitting near the doorstep, and his fur rose on his crest. ‘Can you see Death?’ asked Uncle Paul in a low voice, having squatted down on his haunches before Charlik and added: ‘Tell her, that she must leave. My mother is enough for her today!’ It was so strange to see big and strong Uncle Paul crying. And late at night Granny told my parents about the trouble at neigh- bors’, how Charlik had sensed something wrong, how the branch had fallen and how my pet and I had come to rescue her from un- der the snow and knots. ‘A bad picture it would be – Mina lying under the tree!’ Gran- ny rhymed and went on: ‘She’s growing a good kind brave girl. She was not afraid, did not let me alone and went on struggling. And such a clever dog and such a devoted friend Charlik is! A true friend needs no orders. He’s ready to help risking his own life!’ she added in the end. The room was so silent that the creak of logs in the fireplace and the tick of the clock. Mom was sobbing quietly, wiping her eyes with her apron and Dad was resting beside her, petting Char- lik on the head and shoulders. My brothers and I were happy, that 212

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya everything went off all right, our Granny was safe and sound and were, certainly, proud of Charlik. Such a thing happened with us once. Charlik and Shimon, the Ragman Sometimes I observe the amount of my belongings and think, that I need this and that, this stuff I have got as a birthday present, this one I bought myself God knows why. In the mean time people did not use to have so many things. Household tools existed in numbers, but not clothes, shoes or other stuff. We used to lead a more modest life, earned less and the goals were different. Jewelry, evening gowns and fur-coats were not bare necessities, so we did not use to buy them. Worn- out things out of use were not taken away but given to a ragman in exchange for something else, such deficit ones as knife sets and scissors, iron jar caps, pins and needles, knitting stuff, woo- len and mohair threads. In summer ragmen also offered various fruit and last-year honey. Each Friday he used to pass the streets of our village driving an old and absolutely indifferent dobbin and shouted out loud: ‘Altezakhen. Getting this for that!’ All children liked this old Jew, despite the fact that he used to threaten them with a small whip with a shorn carved handle. This whip he used to keep in the cart, at his foot. The horse did not need beating up for speeding, it knew its business perfectly well, but when the old man took out his ‘weapon’ hurriedly and show- ed them to the boys, following his cart, it funnily rounded its eyes, opened its mouth and turned its head to see what its master was going to do. Instead of speeding up it stopped dead. It all looked very strange. One Friday, while Charlik and I were playing under the big bird-cherry tree, we heard the cart creak and the same creaky old man’s voice: 213

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘Getting this for that!’ Charlik , lying as usual his muzzle upon his paws, rose one ear , rushed out of the garden. The ragman had just approached our house, when Charlik ran out, barking loudly. ‘Azokhenvey!’ the old man shouted and sprang into the cart with agility of a youth. ‘Ale tzen zoln dir aroysfaln!* Take your Hitler away!’ Granny Mina went out for the call and, standing on the top of the stairs, ordered loudly and firmly: ‘Come!’ Charlik, having understood, that he had done something chil- dishly stupid, laid back his ears, bent his head and jogged re- luctantly towards Granny, wagging his tail, while the woman went on scolding him: ‘I’ve told you hundred times, that you are a respectable dog. being!’ The ragman shook his head, but he was not angry with Gran- ny. They had known each other for a long time and he got her special humor quite well. ‘ in order fascist at home? You’d better come out and relax near the gates!’ These words acted strangely upon my Granny. ‘You, old shlomiel!***’ She turned away and slammed the terrace door. Granny knew her value very well and did not like such ‘jokes’, and the old man drove with his dobbin further on, keeping calling people out. That * Let all your teeth go off! (curse, Yiddish). ** Meathead (Yiddish). *** Bugger (Yiddish). 214

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya time he was changing useless stuff or some food excesses like vegetables, fresh eggs, milk and butter for ripe tasty sloe fruit. I loved sloe jam and juice, but fresh ripe fruit I loved even mo- re. Also I liked so much ‘shooting’ its seed into the target, squee- zing it, slippery from juice, between the thumb and the forefinger. It was such a funny game, until I had hit my brother into the eye, while playing. But it’s another story. And now Charlik was lying sad on the grass near the porch and I was sitting on the bench nearby and learned to weave a bas- ket from the willow branches, which I had picked at the river bank. The branches would break, because I did not know that ti- me that pealed willow must be soaked in salty water before work, so that it would become soft, plastic osier. ‘Live and learn,’ Gran- ny used to say and added: ‘And end up a fool!’ It grew hotter and hotter, swallows rushed here and there, twit- ting. A couple of boys ran past our house, then a group of elder ones rode bicycles, discussing something funny and boasting their youths’ deeds. The ragman stopped before the neighbors’ house and showed his goods to women and children surrounding him. Suddenly one of the boys shouted out loud: ‘Hey, man, how much is the sloe at your stall? Hey, man, can I stall your balls?’ The old man sprang up, grabbed his whip and shouted, sha- king it in the air: ‘You just try!’ I had no idea what had happened, but women and boys burst out laughing, and the old man hit his dobbin with reins and drove away, swearing like a trooper. Granny went out again and addressed Charlik: ‘Good God! Feeling bad, eh? Shame on you, Chaplin! When will you get smarter? You’ve jumped out, frightened the old man, and he spoiled my mood in return! What in the hell did you need from him?’ 215

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya Charlik looked at Granny ashamed, then turned to me and sig- hed deeply. Sometime later he disappeared and Granny supposed that he had turmoil of guilt. That very evening the ragman was returning from the neighbo- ring village and the road ran past our house. He started calling out from the distance. ‘Goodmen!’ Dad went out to ask if he needed any help, and the old man explained: “Your dog had almost swallowed me in the morning, but then helped a lot! My cart lost a wheel, and the forge was a far cry. How could I leave my stuff without care? Then – lo! Your dog was watching me from the gorge, as if he’d been following me! And I’m like – ‘sorry for being rude to you, fellow! Anything can happen out of fear! Will you look after my stuff while I’m out to the village? Don’t let anyone approach!’ I left at my own peril and risk and when I was back – what did I see? My cart and my horse were there, and your dog lying upon the cart, keeping vigil. Such a clever dog you have! He feels everything right! Such a good fellow! Here’s some treat for the work for your kids from old Shimon’ the ragman said, smiling and handed out a bowl full of ripe, large sloe. So happy I was! It was the first salary of my best friend as Dad mentioned, and Charlik found a new friend in the face of old rag- man. Charlik and Sonya Days changed days, weeks passed and finally august came and it was necessary to visit school three times a week. These visits were called ‘preparation’. I seldom walked there, as we lived qui- te far away, so Mom cycled me to school, which was great. She put me on the frame, with a pillow attached to it or wrapped into a coat in advance, to make me comfortable. Later Dad attached 216

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya an additional seat there, so we could have a long a happy ride. But I wanted to drive the bicycle myself. ‘Mom, let it go! Let me drive it for you!’ I begged but Mom pretended being deaf. Dad, on the contrary, let me ‘hold the wheel’, when we were cycling together. He always heard what I used to say! Our Mom adhered to her principles, yet she had never been spiteful and told us off. She used to get on us with her moral teaching, as my brother put it. I loved Mom so much, she was very beautiful and smelled nicely with flower soap. During our trips she was always afraid to fall, accidentally run Charlik over or drop me, as the handlebar used to turn currently here and there. Certainly, I did my best to catch hold of it and help her but Mom was nervous and demanded me to stop. Despite that my dog was always at my side, jogging before the bicycle, showing the way and paying absolutely no attention to our ride. He was preoccupi- ed with watching around, for instance, neighboring dogs, who would spring out from under the gates barking loudly and sho- wing their teeth. However they used to flee away soon, although stronger and more self-confident than any of them. Bigger dogs used to bark loudly and gruffly at the back yards. Charlik accom- panied us with pride, as it used to be his main guty. From time to time Granny asked us to visit her old friend from the village next to ours, Grandma Sonya, however everyone else ‘almost advanced age’, dressed up in strange clothes and used to tie up her grey curly hair with a shawl, whirled up in a reed in a manner that it would break loose and tremble on the wind like a September spider net. Sonya was ‘too educated for the locals’, as Granny used to say. As the latter, she knew several foreign langu- ages, but that was not all. She could multiply and divide multidi- git numbers and had a lot of various skills, but she also had some quirk, because she was afraid of dogs to death. Charlik realized it 217

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya as soon as they got acquainted. He was a ‘very smart one’, as Dad out it, and a «shnorer»*, as Granny put it, because he could easily gain the affection of a human, he was interested in. A year after the First she took his suspiciously, as any reserved lonely old lady, but little by little she got used to him and even started to appreci- ate his presence. If one managed to ride or walk past Sonya’s house without troubling them both, one could easily them passing time in the garden. Sonya was doing her job and he was lying next to her favorite bench under the old lime tree, which she used to call a funny name of «aunteralindan»**. But it happened much later. At the beginning Sonya paid no interest to our Charlik and protested sharply against his ‘garden invasions’. One of such events I would like to describe this time. It happened in August, Granny Mina backed pancakes and, ha- ving packed some gifts into a small sack, told Mom: ‘Ann, we should bring «blinche»*** to Sonya.’ I should say, Granny had never asked anyone about anything, but she spoke the way that no one would dare to refuse. She was the eldest in the house, but used to threaten us with ‘Mom’s au- thority’. So, having packed everything needed, Mom put me on her bicycle and off we went. Sonya, having noticed us in the dis- tance, shut the gates quickly and was waiting, leaning against the fence. ‘ and see – he would bite someone and you’ll be guilty!’ ‘Don’t speak silly things,’ Mom hurried to reason her, jumping down from the bicycle, trying to keep balance and me at the same time. ‘Charlik is a wise dog, he never eats people.’ * Rogue (Yiddish). ** Under the lime trees (Yiddish). *** Pancakes (Yiddish). **** Beast (Yiddish). 218

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘You don’t know life yet, dear girl, everyone eats people,’ Sonya insisted fixing her eyes on yawning Charlik, who showed clearly complete indifference. As if trying to persuade Sonya: ‘Calm down, I’m full today’ and then lay down to rest right befo- re her gates. ‘Here’s some treat for you for tea,’ Mom said, handing her the sack. Charlik licked his lips, stuck out his tongue and went on lying down resting his pretty head on his stretched out forelegs, wag- ging his tail. Suddenly Sonya shook her head and said: ‘Look at him! Do you like pancakes, too, Puppy? I don’t bla- me you, I’m worried. If you bite someone, you’ll be jailed. And there’s no life in jail. I used to love dogs when I was younger, but Vorkutlag swept this love away, as simple dust.’ Charlik covered his muzzle with his right paw and Sonya could not help laughing. ‘Lo! Such a clever dog! It’s not fair to call him ‘just a dog’!’ Charlik grew even bolder, rose at his hind legs and out his fo- relegs upon the gates. ‘He’s still young, but he’ll go to school with me. The school will start soon!’ I said. It was true. Charlik and I went to school and grew cleverer and cleverer. When Sonya would see us, she would ask: ‘Are you still studying? Haven’t finished yet?’ I answered that it was still a long way to go, but showed how Charlik could count from one to three, if one showed him an exact number of apples or pears, but with burgers it went even better. Sonya enjoyed those performances a lot and she used to grant us with something, saying with a cute look: ‘From each according to his abilities, to each according to his work!’ I liked those words so much, that once repeated them before classroom plants, when I was only seven. However, she called 219

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya my father to school and had a long talk with him. That time I learned that not only the skill of ‘good speech’ was important, but also the skill of ‘good keeping silent’. Granny realized immedia- tely which way the wind blows, so we had to take a break in our performances with Charlik and visits to Sonya. I could not get why I was not allowed to come to her place to warm up on my to ‘must not’. Moreover, she had promised to tell me interesting sto- ries about ghouls, when I would grow a bit older. I could not stand waiting, on the on hand, but could not disobey Dad, on the other. So we met ‘on the bench’, as she put it. When we were re- turning from school and she happened to be out, a dozen of minu- tes of such ‘chats on the bench’ were enough make her face shine up with a smile. This ban did not last long, though, as Dad suppo- sed that lack of communication with a wise person could spoil my character. He might have seen nothing wrong in the fact that Sonya loved me so much. And it was true that she loved Charlik and me wholeheartedly. Once I remember her telling Granny Mi- na: ‘You know, my dear, I feel that your naughty monkey Milka and her domestic demon got into my heart, though I thought there’s no place there for joy and happiness’. Granny hugged her delicately by the waist by the arm as by a large wing, as only she could do, and said: ‘I was right, you see! Feelings have no age. There’s time for anything – time to love and time to suffer!’ After that Granny talked with Dad and he finally lifted a ban to my communication with Sonya. Dad did not have to follow the teacher’s order so vigorously. At least I thought that way. Sonya was good and kind-hearted. As Granny said, the teacher was a ‘weak sprout of civilization, in comparison to her. By the way, Sonya wrote poems in French in the right frame of mood, but never read them to anyone and put them down into a thick notebook, sawn from several thinner ones. 220

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya She passed away two years later, and once Granny said, loo- king at Sonya’s photo: ‘Oh, vey, Sonya, Sonya! Ghouls of Vorkutlagе broke the ro- se!’ Dreams do Come True! Russian winter is wonderful! It’s my favorite season not only because snow and frost transform the whole world around but also because everyone is waiting for a miracle, dreams coming of them celebrate Christmas, the other New Year, the third Hanuk- kah. Holiday is in the air. So really unexpected events, looking like magic, tend to happen these days. Being just seven years old children presents. I was waiting for presents and miracles. I had never written letters to Santa, but once draw a picture, which I hid a secret place so none of my relatives could come across it by chance. I wanted to discover, if Santa really exists. Charlik was my best friend but could neither write, nor draw, so I decided to ask a present for him by myself. I draw a small kitten with a beautiful ribbon around the neck. Why so? Because Charlik reacted very cheerfully to cats, every time trying to catch them up and suggest running together. But all those cats very a- lien and did not share Charlik’s feelings and refused to make friends with the dog. They jumped up on the fence or on the tree, hissed angrily or meowed rawly, waving tails from side to side. Charlik had already lost hope, that he could meet a ‘friendly fur- ball’ to play with. Then holidays came. Mom and Granny were busy for several evenings, making a ‘snow flake’ costume for our school event. I had learned a verse by heart and tried to imagine, how I would look in my costume. I did not even wonder why I needed exactly 221

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya this one, as long as the teacher had said so, it must have been right. Everything went on well until my brother said: ‘A Snow flake must be blond.’ I was upset, lost inspiration to wear my costume and go to the party at all. But I had no idea how I would explain to my Mom that I did not want to go. My dark hair could not become blond by any means. The girl in a Snow flake costume had yellow hair, because the white color looked strange, as if the girl accidentally turned grey, so I had to paint the hair yellow. So I hid my picture and waited my dream to come true one night of the New Year eve. The holiday morning came; Mom prepared my white tights, shoes, decorated with white cloth, lametta flowers and new-year toy beads, my dress and my head-band, also decorated with la- metta and beads. Unusual white cloth, attached to my head-band and embroidered with shiny stars, caught my eye. We were short of time, as usual, so we had to hurry up. Mom collected my new-year costume, wrapped it with white sheet to protect from wind and snow, and we went to the school party. My mood left much to be desired. Charlik was running in front and even did not turn to look at us. ‘There,’ I thought, ‘even Charlik is not interested in my fee- lings! All the girls in our class, who also had to play Snowflakes, were fair, and only I was a ‘black sheep’!’ Finally we reached school and entered the classroom, where there had been other boys and girls, already dressed for the party. Snowflakes looked like one another, fair, with big white bows on their heads. The teacher showed us to the dressing room. So little time was left before the beginning! Mom calmly laid out our things, took off my clothes and ca- , which included five stiffly starched skirts, embroidered by stars and ornaments, resembling frost design on the window, attached white cloth to my head, having carefully arranged my curls, and 222

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya only then put on the head-band. She puffed my face and then brought me to the large mirror. Oh, my! A miraculously beautiful fairy-girl looked at me from the glass! An unforgettable feeling overwhelmed me. That girl was me, but she had none of my dark curls, and she had a beautiful Granny’s brooch with a blue stone on the forehead! I did not know that time that it was a pure sap- phire, but who cares? The teacher looked at me, smiled and I rea- lized how beautiful she was with a smile! We had a magical party and Santa was absolutely real, as well as his grand-daughter, Snow Girl. She spoke as Galina, a girl from the neighborhood, but there are a lot of similar people in the world, and similar voices as well. When the party was nearly over, Santa complimented all the children for verses, songs and dances, and said that his holiday would have been much less happy is Snow Girl had not have so cheerful and beautiful friends Snowflakes. Then he took me on his arms and said: ‘I like this one the best. Why don’t we take her to the North Pole?’ ‘No way, dear Santa! I can’t go with you! I’m not a real Snow- flake, I’m a school girl! And I can’t leave Charlik alone!’ Everyone laughed out loud and Santa said: ‘Good girl! One can’t forget bosom friends!’ When we came back home, I was delighted. My dream had come true! I did not manage to learn, if the miracles happened and good magicians existed or Mom and Granny had seen my picture by chance. But I had no time to speculate, because there was holiday and fun! I decided to share the present, which I had got from Santa, with others. So I put the package with sweets and brought home from the forest on the sleigh and set up in the mi- ddle of the living room. Granny Mina had her own opinion on the subject of the New Year celebration but she kept it to herself. Good mood and happy people around were of greater importance. 223

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya Charlik stayed outside this time and seemed to wait for his dream to come true. As long as we had not got the cat, I came to a conclusion that it was better to make up a wish by one’s own wit- hout relying on someone else, even a friend. So I’ve been follo- wing this idea since then. And you? When a Goat is Your Bosom Friend Sometimes it happens that days do not resemble one another, yet, time passes in its stride and there is nothing memorable left. However, every once in a while some recollection pops up and one smiles or becomes sad and start to unravel a mystery, being excited by the recollections of dear people and places. So many wonders a human memory keeps! Curious, but I am going to tell you quite another story, which corresponds to the saying: ‘A person is known by his friends’. And I could not help smiling. That is to say, however, people keep saying that we do not choose friends; I myself think quite the opposite. Not only people seek for a more comfortable, interesting and helpful com- pany, but also animals do. When I was in the second form, I made a lot of friends. Mom did not appreciate that much, worrying they could distract me from studies, while Dad backed me, being sure that respect and popularity among peers was a good sign of a personal all-round development. So my popularity grew. Extra activities took place at school every day, such as helping the fallen behind or hobby clubs, and I had lots of hobbies. My dog took my enthusiasm to ‘socially useful work’ with patience and killed the time on his own choice. Not far from the school yard, where Charlik used to lie or sit up with his favorite bone treat, which he used to hide skillfully and smartly each time in another place, there was a clearing, whe- re two cheerful goats, Tosya and Rose, were feeding from spring 224

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya to autumn. They both belonged to an elderly teacher and each year they had little goatlings. I have to admit, these little ones, as all kids all over the world, were funny, cheerful and curious. That time was not of exception. A young goatling, called Shu- rik, had been running around and playing there since the begin- ning of May. That Shurik was a real enfant terrible so his mother goat would always worry and shouted at him, ordering to obey. However, Shurik was self-sure and bold beyond his years. The long and short of it, he was a goat. May was always a month of fun for the school children, but also a month of bid duties. We had too many things to do! It was marks, but the sun was tempting to have a walk in the street. The spring had come and everything was growing, so all last year’s grass and flowers must have been taken away to let new sprouts take a start and refresh the eye. So much there was to do, not only at school, but also at home. Should the old leaves before in the school yard and garden be cleared out? Yes, they should. Also flowers should be planted in the school yard, the paths should be swept, dead limbs, broken by the last year wind, should be picked up and piled up, as they would be burnt in a parting camp fire af- ter the Farewell Bell party. Such was the life those days. I would tell you about this another time, and this time I would like to say, that I was so busy at school, that my poor Charlik was about to get upset, but then decided to find a friend and his choice fell on Shurik. Shurik, as any little goat, showed remarkable curiosity and boldness, when he lopped to the place where Charlik used to lie, waiting for me, for the first time. Charlik had been watching Shu- rik with great interest for several days so far, but was not willing to make the first step. Perhaps, he had such character or was stop- ped by constant and weariless vigil of the mother goat. And now he was lucky! 225

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya Shurik was loping on the grass in a strange sideways manner, kicking up his back legs, turning his head with tiny, nearly born horns, to the sides and sometimes gave out: ‘Baa!’ Charlik lifted his head, wagged his tail and stuck out his tongue, watching the goatling in a friendly manner. The goatling approached very clo- se, jumped up to the Lenin monument, rose at his back legs and started to tap dance on the pedestal by his forelegs. Charlik rose and went up to him, sniffed the air and licked Shurik’ nose. Shu- rik was not afraid, bent his head and showed his horns to Charlik. Charlik licked them, too. Then Shurik grew even bolder, jumped head low. It seemed that his horns were itching, Charlik realized that and scratched them with curiosity and care. The goat was be- ating up and down and throwing out warnings and threats to both of them, but none of them paid attention. Having fulfilled his cu- riosity and understood that Charlik would do him no harm, the little goat became extremely bold. Having chewed some grass on the go and run around the dog, the goatling lay down and fell as- leep. I have no idea, what each of them was thinking of, but a very everyone noticed that Charlik had found a friend and started to spend a lot of time with the goats. Tosya and Rose finally accep- ted that fact, and their mistress was very happy, that her pets had found a ‘safe custody’. In the end of summer Granny Mina suggested buying the goat- ling, as she had found out that the mistress was going to sell him. Mom was dead against this offer, as she always hated goats. Dad joked that the offer sounds interesting, as the family would have one goat more. Finally Mom won the battle and was very proud of that, saying: ‘Mina Euphraimovna, what if your beloved Charlik would make friends with a pig?’ 226

Либерти: Liudmila Lazebnaya ‘Charlik is a clever dog,’ Granny contradicted. ‘He would ne- ver keep company with pigs. And as for making friends with a goat… Goats are always better than pigs.’ Since then several month had passed, but the goatling Shurik still lived with his mistress, mother goat and aunt goat. Charlik visited him daily and spend time with pleasure, playing catch-up or just lying down and lazing in the sun. Shurik grew up goat. Horns on his head did not look funny any longer, but , spreading his forelegs apart, and froze in trembling expectation, taking delight in caresses and care, which Charlik manifested, licking his horns. Many people kept joking about this unusual friendship, but no one dared to trouble goats, feeding peacefully on the clearing. September came and we went to school again. First days of the new school year we had to tell or write a story about summer ho- lidays. I wrote mine about our diversion with Charlik during sum- mer days, his cheerful new friend and that the fact did not irritate me but quite the opposite. The end of my short essay was: ‘It’s so great, when your bosom friend is a goat!’ 227

Julia Kashtanova Anti-romance painkiller Everyone has an intension to love – That’s the habit of people’s hearts, Drinking poison from the Sacred cup, All fears leaving behind, Sending to hell all neighbors and rumors, Singing songs throughout the day… But when I hear those sounds of music, I turn quickly away. This world is full of winds of change, But the changes are all above. When I am down I descend from the tower To fight for someone’s other love. When I am happy I’m used to play cards With friends in the next-door pub… But when I hear the sounds of music, My heart will never turn up. My little kingdom is never down and out, There’s no one from whom to defend. Citizens are all happy and quiet, There is peace without an end, Love and Life moving shoulder to shoulder Almost ten centuries back. But when I hear the sounds of this music I need something to crack. 228

Либерти: Julia Kashtanova My friends keep tell me: “Stop doing it crazy, Leave that to the selfish fools! Playing this game is always amazing But not always “fast and lose”! Dive in the feeling, with nothing to wait for And nothing you’ll have to regret…“ But when I hear the sounds of this music I do my best to forget. On the edge of the Woods, in the Emerald town My Ariel is ready to rise. I’ll put in a pledge mighty Ring and the crown And would go to conquer the stars. Let your dragons fly, let your cruisers fight – You’re unable to catch me up: I have just one and single heart, You have no right to break it apart! Everyone has an intension to love And to live the life in the full swing. And I’m sitting here, writing stupidities And give them to children to sing, Tell each other what should never be told, Idling throughout the day… And I turn down my sounds of music To walk my own personal way. 229

Либерти: Julia Kashtanova Dream I looked out of the window at night. There was snowing and cold. The skies were sorrowful and the land lonely and bold. I was alone, the light has gone, I asked but there was no ray of sun. So I felt nothing. What should I ask for? The following day is the same as the day before. My mind fell asleep, along with my heart. As I saw no more door to start… Where is my way? Where is it going to? What are we for? What’s here for me and you? So many questions in so lonely times… So who calls my name above the skies? I was asleep… or almost gone? The days were rolling by. The snow was covering my house from the heavy sky. My mind was off, nothing impressed I was vanishing from the world of blessed… But what happened? What has changed? Someone appeared and everything rearranged. He touched my hair, brought the ray of light He woke my mind up from sorrows behind. There is my way. But where is it going to? What is this all for? What’s here for me and you? So many questions in so lonely times. Who calls my name from beneath the skies? What is it all for? I’m no longer blue. The ray is shining to me from you. 230

Либерти: Julia Kashtanova My mind is singing at the top of the tunes. I’m no longer lonely, my heart is anew. Two worlds of mine In the darkness of lonely place, there’s one single ray. It’s not the ray of the outcome, it’s the lamp on my way. I’m standing before the hall of the awaiting crowd. But do they really want to know what I’m talking about? I am taking the simple tunes and the song goes by, They are screaming and shouting, and about to cry. It’s the world of my glory and of my spirits and mind… But there is something other then, always hidden behind. When I’m changing my clothes and descend from the stage, People don’t recognize me – not my face, not my age. People just keep not knowing me, when I’m passing along… Do I really change so much? What world do I belong? I am watching the ray of light, streetlamps count my days. I am always at challenge, with my personal trace. Shiny image of rocky string is confusing and wrong… What’s the matter, what’s left behind of this beautiful song? Who am I? What am I about? Switch off the light! I want to hide out! Let me show me real in reality show! I am tired to play the role! Let them see and let them know Which I belong to… 231

Либерти: Julia Kashtanova Runaway When you go to a faraway land, Strolling down the road, Riding your horse, whip in your hand, Ruling down your boat, Down the hills and down the mountains, Where the Silence live, Up the river, to sea waters, Ready to forgive. If you want to get away from your fate and lie Ask me how not to let your hope die. Run, run, run… As far as you go, as quick as you can. If you want to escape from your fate and your life Then run (before the sun) In the skies and in the waters, In the empty lands You meet people, but they don’t know, They can only guess. Why d’you need to run for shelter, What you are looking for, What dark sorrows and misgivings You have met before. That you had never felt love in your burning blood. They never know and never ask about. Go, go, go! Trust what you’ve seen, do as you know. Don’t change your way, don’t stop day after day While you’re alone (under rain or snow) But you’re still a human being, 232

Либерти: Julia Kashtanova Your heart’s not from rock So you’re running while you’re living From the secret clock. You believe that fairy-tale ends In the happy way, You’re afraid that she would touch you, Carry you away… Fly to battles from creations from worlds and lives, But alone you can’t make your own paradise. Hey, hey, hey! In darkness of night you run for the day, Being scared to smell your real life and running Far away (and I say) Run, run, run… *** Don’t wake me up – I want to see dreams of you, Don’t wake me up – I want to watch them with you, Touching your hair so soft like a shy new breeze, Feeling your hugs that make me be happy and at ease. Watching your face, young and full of strength Dive in your eyes like rivers of eternal length Bathing in passion that your loving hands will share Closing my eyes thinking that you are always there… Don’t wake me up – even if you are not to stay, Wake me up only at brink of the endless day, Day that we stay side by side for the long way run, Always together beneath the moon and the sun… 233

Vladimir Chikurov Cultural and Educational foundation «The Idea of Light» present «The 3rd Millennium Pivot», as a beacon of personal, social and international welfare in the new era. The 3rd Millennium Pivot Global Evolutionary Idea Our soul is a top of our consciousness, and our supe- rior “Self” is a peak of the individual sense. To reach this peak is the greatest achievement and delight in our lives. Introduction At present our Universe is changing rapidly in the sphere of being. Thus, all the mankind, each person or nation is changing spring warmth melts winter snow, wakes up sleeping seed and so all the living beings start acting anew. Universal energies of XXI century wake up our souls, mind and feelings in the social environment and offer them to explore a completely new way of life and philosophy. Spring warmth wakes up seeds of nature and let them grow almost the same way. The only difference is that the natural growth goes on automatically, while any human soul has got freedom of choice either to let one’s soul seed to spread its petals or choke soul sensibility down with obsolete habits and views. 234

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov Chapter 1 New Time To put it short, our human essence consists of several guises need to develop and reach harmony. However, the latest centu- ries, according to Universal reasons, only body and intellect have been activated within people from cradle to tomb. No one has knows how Soul is developing. Only in the XXI century, such Cosmic energies starter to turn up on the Earth, which gave us a possibility to activate the superi- or brain divisions and study new abilities of our reason. Thus, at present all smart people have got a possibility to get in touch with new dimensions of Global Cosmic Reason and grow further, at a higher evolutionary level. Extension of Knowledge Some luminance, unknown to the scientists earlier, appeared in the centre of our galaxy and simultaneously irradiated all the centrums of living cells on the Earth. All existing substance was pierced by this new galactic glow and this glow united all the Space into a single sentient organism. Thus, each of us started to activate their superior brain divisi- ons and we got an opportunity to turn from logical reasoning to a much faster multidimensional mental figurativeness, in other words, from the personality development to a higher level of soul development. Those reasonable people, who trusted their ‘superior self’, are already reconstructing their way of life, social relations and the whole world formation. However, there is some complexity, because souls of different matureness are born on the Earth and their ‘awakening’ happen 235

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov differently. Some people activate their superior brain divisions in their early age, other do it during their growing up and for the third ones this moment happens only at the brink of a new life. Those, who has been activating their souls during their life, open up their inner eye and they get access to entire heavenly knowledge, which includes science, faith, philosophy and culture, function together within the ray of light. At this stage meanings, essences and fulfillment of the terms change. For example, the term ‘knowledge’ in the glowing soul dimension stop epitomizing the course of events and is replaced here by a more substantial one, ‘awareness’. Mental Activity Our life is multidimensional, multi-layer and consisting of not only material and physical particles but also of psychic, mental and spiritual spheres of life. The more delicate our inner percepti- on is, the stronger we feel vital micro- and macro-cosmic flows. Our mind becomes rough in the big cities and in fake and techni- cal environment so the human brain exercises only 5% of its abi- lities. Delicate perception is blocked and stays asleep, because there are no possibilities to study divine wisdom and feel comple- tely happy within urban fuss. To achieve real prosperity at least three conditions must be fulfilled. First, one has to come up from the technomatrix to the living nature as often as possible and let all our inner senses open up with the help of the expansion of the perception of space. Then our mental sphere may grow not only intellectually, but start to glow as a sphere of light in many dimensions and fill up with new natural sensibility. Next, superior brain activity depends on the type of speech which a person is using. All world languages derived from one single stem and once had come out of the entire sunshine. Step by 236

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov step, they became ‘rainbow colours’ and lost its connection with the entire heavenly wisdom. Only Russian language preserved more or less completely this connection with ancient, ‘one-for- a human soul. That’s why all sophists, who studied Russian langu- age and its ‘feelings’ can activate their ‘superior self’ easier and increase their mental activity. And finally, one should support by all means the creation of the collective intelligence field, collective friendship and collabo- ration, where mental activity of each participant of this creative process rises fast. Nest-dolls When the glow of our spiritual knowledge grow out of our in- tellectual personality secrets of nature star to disclose. We start to see, how the Universe first unites separate molecules into cells, then separate cells into organs, then organs into bodies and, final- ly, bodies into societies. During the building up of a new unit from several living persons a higher level of understanding ap- pears. This way the understanding comes, that Life is a tabernacle of Consciousness and all its value belongs in there. All stages of evolution of the Earth, starting from monocelled beings and up to high mammals are created, so that their consci- ousness could grow and develop. Thus, each child in the human society first realizes oneself as a living organism. Then, years later, they develop their intellect and start perceiving themselves as personalities. In the adulthood ma- ture people activate their superior brain divisions and start to per- ceive themselves as ‘souls’. Physical body is treated as a part of terrestrial environment mother’s approval. Intellectual personality is treated as a part of society, this personality would care about close people and seeks 237

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov for motherland’s approval. Heavenly soul is treated as a sparkle of cosmic consciousness and cares about the masses and seeks for mother Universe’s approval. Physical body is a container for Personality, while Personality in its turn is a container for Soul. These nest-dolls are connected, nesting one another, but at the same time have their own reac- tions, desires and degrees of integrity. Intellect collects signals from all the spheres like a biocomputer and makes its individual choice, which one to prefer. Thus, for divine growth and delight expansion, a person has to live their life in several dimensions at once, such as physical, per- sonal and spiritual, which means terrestrial, lunar and solar. Chapter 2 Human soul is developing and feels happy when this person lives their life more honestly, sensibly and honorably each day. Technosphere Universe around encourages our multilayer essence from the very cradle to move from physical development to personal one well. by souls and the word ‘human’ was equal to ‘soul’ or ‘cosmic one’ always existed in Russian culture. When a baby was born into a family everyone knew that a new soul was born into the holy world. Everyone helped a sparkle of Cosmic Consciousness to bring up their physical body, develop their personality and start to ful- fill their intent among the ‘soulful nation’. Russian language still contains such idioms as ‘live according to the soul and conscien- 238

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov - ulful person’, ‘not a soul in the street’ and so on. The entire life of our great ancestor was highlighted from crad- le to tomb by soulful goals and emotions. The soul was the main purpose and modus for the whole life, that’s why social life in Russia always centered around the heart and soul glowing. People were distinguished as heartless, chicken-hearted, hearty or soulful and open-hearted or whole souled. Inner spiritual glow and feeling was, in some way, activated all around the world. It granted all nations common feeling of ethics and let them feel international collaboration. turns down its sources of energies on the Earth for a while so pe- ople start to individualize. Those times spiritual glow inside of us shuts down and our delicate feelings close up. Human masses gradually loses touch with nature and Universe and gathers in big cities, where the environment only for personal intellectual deve- lopment is created. Instead of solar soul knowledge people tend to use intellectual iridal rationality. They start to perceive the world in fragments and through the prism of rational illusions and fake environment is being formed. Direct connection with the entire ROD of all Universes is lost and people start to elaborate gods and religions. The Entire know- ledge is divided into parts and the tradition of spiritual collabora- tion is transformed into the tradition of intellectual competition. Each personality tends to perceive itself as a ‘social unit’, not a ‘cosmic’ one. Nations tend to separate from one another and praise their individuality. Separate family clans single out from the nation. Separate individuals single out from those clans. Re- cently even an intellect itself has started to separate from the whole personality, flying out into the AR. As a result, techno civilizations and dead governmental bu- reaucratic structure, a digital monster, gets out of its alive mas- ter’s hand and starts to devour the life on the planet. 239

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov Global Evolutionary Idea In the beginning of the 3rd millennium not only the façade of our life, but also the very human nature and human relationships started to change. While earlier all the attention was paid to the intellectual development, intellectual personality had rights and was building the ‘intellectual society’, these days we are focused on the ‘soul development’ after the activation of broad and supe- rior self. We give our soul more rights and keep building spiritual society. We exploit technologies for life’s sake, and life for consciousness development’s sake, and consciousness in its turn for spiritual evolution’s sake. Thus, the guiding light for contem- porary society development is a global evolutionary idea, which can be described as: Happiness and essence of human life is in the knowledge enlarging and mental creativity of soul and conscience evolution. In other words, the main idea of human existence, its hig- hest goal, delight and meaning of life is in enlarging of know- ledge and mental creative evolution of Soul and Conscience, like Entire cosmic reason sparkle. It moves from low selfish individual inventions to highly moral collective creations for education and sensible cosmically evolutionized society. Chapter 3 In the Old era female personalities chose part- ners, with whom they could survive. In the New era female souls will choose those, with whom they can evolutionize spiritually. Cosmic Justice Global cosmic consciousness brings up individual soul spark- les on the planet first, than it tries to gather them into local soulful creative communities and it desires to highlight the whole Earth 240

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov with the beams of the entire soulful humanity in the end. How- ever, the real civilization is separated into layers of biological. Social and ‘soul’ imparity as a Washington pie. But while ‘soul’ one needs some connotation. It means that young, mature and advanced souls, being on different stages of development, are personifying on the Earth. One of them just needs to form a good family, another needs to enlarge their knowledge to create a col- laboration, yet another needs to serve the nation, and finally the forth id able to serve the whole humanity. At the same time, unlike the case of social imparity, no hard struggle appears in the case of spiritual evolutionary imparity. On the contrary, each senior soul creates a supportive environment for the younger ones. So, Cosmic Soul justice means not to equa- te material profit of the rich and the poor but to provide all souls with equal advantages of creative development, regardless of their family status, material recourses or power. Thus, children of a farmer and agricultural minister, a corporal and a general, a mason or a PhD have equal access to higher edu- cation, social positions and receive the same sentence for crimes in Soulful society. They are estimated only according to the deve- lopment of their souls. Overwhelming Modus It is early morning. A group of soul mates have gathered for practicing perception expansion at a calm suburb, at the bank of blossom smells sweet. We are looking at the horizon and watch the calm and majestic sunrise. We feel and understand Mother Earth’s space flight and how rays of the Sun caress it. We smile, hold arms out wide and open our hearts up to the Heaven’s sensi- bility and Natural grace. Our knowledge is enlarging, embracing the whole globe along with the sunlight and we start feeling as a part of the Sentient cos- mic movement. 241

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov All our essence is resonating with the Divine creation and we keep accomplishing the overwhelming modus, which we have been putting into effect for many years so far. «New Cosmic era wakes up human souls and leads us the sa- me understanding of the goal of our birth here, on Earth. People understand better the wholeness of Life, Consciousness and Love all around the world treat one another as themselves. Every morning we start with a kind smile, a grateful look at the sky and wishing each other hearty happiness. We recognize ourselves as immortal sparkles of Entire Cosmic Reason. And when we unite our souls a collective glow surrounds us and the environment around starts blooming. Global community changes happily and noble and honest crea- tors come into power. The whole world financial and political stricture surrenders to the Soul rulers and act for the sake of the humanity. Russian language becomes the language of Soul evolu- tion and all friendly countries unite into the single ROD-praising world. The bases of the common evolutionary idea are studied in the how to activate their soul to provide benefit to the environment since early age. Mass media declare the best and most honorable human traits. Selfishness surrenders to friendship, love and creati- ve collaboration anywhere around. Terrestrial industry restructure in eco-friendly way and Nature restores its former grace rapidly. State councils form all over the world and take care of the evolu- tion and infrastructural welfare on their territory. Clan councils take care of the life conditions there. People’s assemblies stay above and take care of Consciousness welfare of their people and Soul councils unite them all into the Integrity of Friendship. Citizens leave the big cities and some of them constantly move to the nature to speed up their spiritual evolution. 242

Либерти: Vladimir Chikurov Friendship, conscience and honor became a common part of our ordinary life. Ethics got its common sense and we think over the consequences of our not for years and decades ahead but for the next incarnation. Worldwide spiritual activation led to the maintenance of the entire evolutionary idea, faith and ethics. Through spiritual colla- boration the fame of united ROD of all universes started to show up. The more our soul resonates with heavens the more our hap- piness and eternity is growing. Cheer!» Soul creators all over the world, unite for achieving global evolutionary delight! 243

Ilana Gorodissky Mountain Ridges An uncertain step Brought me to the desert To achieve a long-awaited peace, To dry out pain On the rocky ridge, Grasp frustration into the fist. There is heat above, There is stone below, Golden ridges are all around. They stretch to the sky, Being all alone Like an old thorn inside my heart. I called out from caves For the peace and heard Only echoes deep in the ditch. And the land around Lots of traces covered By those ones, who were passing here. And the ridges know All those ones, who fled From the fuss and the pain for here. They stretch to the sky, Being all alone Like my own ethereal dream. 244

Либерти: Ilana Gorodissky Do forgive my rush, Hot and golden land! I am coming back empty again. And I should have looked For the peace and quiet In another, remote land. Ridges were upset, Calling me by name Crying out: ‘I shall repay!’ They stretch to the sky, Being all alone Like my love of the fatal day. 245

Либерти: Ilana Gorodissky First Pain The string of time is torn and lying down, The clock hands froze, nailed to clock-face. It’s far away or, maybe, even farther, My shelter for my tiresome pleasance. I’m rushing here and there in my daily Routine and studies, work, without stop. And every time I pasture* in the gulley My pain and soul on my long way forward. Primary pain is torturing in secret My heart in days of parting but in void. And flesh is gradually decaying under pressure Of shiny crown with divine ‘thou’ word. I’ll never be the same you used to know me, The ice and rock are inside like in doom. I see no joy of life, all feelings vanished And horrors rule me with a hand of gloom. It’s often said, no man is indispensable And there’s no eternal, bookish love. So why are you eternally and certainly More precious for me than all other ones? Brief interactions come up for some moment Before my eyes in broken mirror glass. That scar would never heal being uncovered And that first pain would never ever pass! * Hint to the first and second name of the sweetheart. 246

Либерти: Ilana Gorodissky Morning Tea Well-infused morning tea (with three heavy spoonfuls of sugar) Along with coming dawn After night of the madness of body Is too bitter for me. And I am set too far from the one Whom a foreign unknown Girl in a bet accidentally won. All this was yesterday. He filled me in the fashionable bar On his own accord With a milkshake, which was called ‘Orgasm’. I was relishing him With my eyes before friends without scruple As a healing potion Which had granted the winds to my mind. He has tested the fruit Which grew ripe on a heavyweight branch As a matter-of-fact Simply offering a morning tea. And the flight interrupted Because poor one dared to confess That he only desired An immediate pleasure of me. Something is luring him in a secret remote terrene, So he left just a fruit, an ‘Orgasm’ and a tea cup for me. 247

Либерти: Ilana Gorodissky Play, Saxophone, Play! Play, saxophone, play! Let my soul split into pieces! Under this pouring rain You are my only tavern joy! Lemon sinks in the cup And the fuddle comes closer and closer. I will listen to music Played by you and with you alone. Freshness comes with the night, World is washed by a teardrop of heaven. Those tears tell you About my impossible love. Cry, heart, but do keep silent! Please, don’t tire by long hollow phrases! For the one who motions me With the finger, I’m going to sing. And I will soon depart For the search of the happiness desired. It is not just a tune Of a sax in a quieten pub. I see light, which’s still there It’s ignorant to my adultery. But my moment will come With the one, who will be only mine. 248

Либерти: Ilana Gorodissky Local Kindergarten Rain is dripping on the roof of the local kindergarten, Frightening out all the kids, who were digging in the sand. But they know nothing of I was unaware too about That in short period of time they’ll be living far away. In the West there’s no such thing like a good pastoral childhood, It has sunk, has disappeared in the computer gaming world. Life pace’s speeding on and on, price of common life is rising And adulthood comes too soon, innocence is wearing out. But without pseudo grief and, it seems, without sorrow They sometimes keep looking back, native-born of sandy lanes. Their world, which gave them birth, has soaked through with neglect poison And the future world alone keeps filling their hearts and brains. Who would dare to return to those grey, mortary landscapes, Which an old snap-shot device had once captured once for all? Who would dare to stand by me and to share my vigilance Looking sadly at the rain dripping down on and on? Autumn falling leaves descend on the local kindergarten, Other children took their turn digging up its wet, dump sand. God them blesses not to search luck and flickering welfare In the alien far-away, miles from their motherland. 249

Vera Sytnik An Encounter I met a girl today, who looked like you. She was sitting in the corner of a small confectionary not far from Manezh and chatting cheerfully to a fashionably dressed curly youngster. He wore tight blue jeans, short-sleeve colorful shirt with parrot print, black pointed shoes and a belt with a huge shiny key holder in the shape of a baseball bat. Despite the high quality of the clothes, which looked pretty new, their noisy colors and novelty only admitted the lack of taste of the owner, giving over a back countryman. ‘Students from the outskirts’ I thought, watching the girl with blouse with a long row of small buttons on the back and long loo- se trousers of the same color, wrapping legs in light fabric shoes, suited this day the best way. It was extremely hot, unusually for with wet hair. And light fabric attracted the sight. I thought, that she must feel quite cool, as her pale marble-skin face and see- mingly plain look made an impression of freshness. Fashionable clothes and shoes of her ‘stylish’ companion emphasized her shi- ny image even stronger. I was dressed in a formal suit, which I wished to take off when I would reach the hotel. There I was going after having a business meeting, but then decided to drop in this cafe to cool down under the conditioner and have a coffee with a cake. Eleven o’clock was the best time for a snack. The meeting, which had brought me to Moscow after a five-year’s break, was successful, so I was free till next evening and could have a stroll and remember student’s ages, if not for this awful heat. Having noticed my surprise, peop- le answered that high temperatures were normal those days, the weather changed dramatically as everywhere else. Europe also 250