The Collection:The Struggles of Young Women_PDF Version

We just ate, how was she already hungry? I shook my head. \"Come on, you can't let one bad thing ruin your day.\" That was funning since it was coming from the girl who throws a fit each time Samuel, her boyfriend who was visiting friends in England, missed one of their Skype sessions. Her relationship was still sailing smoothly despite the distance, yet I was a few minutes away from my boyfriend and our ship was trying to dodge obstacle after obstacle. •~• My older brother, one of two, joined me on the couch. \"What are you trying to do? Break the thing?\" He asked with a chuckle. I groaned at the dip on the couch. I didn’t appreciate the low altitude. \"Someone's in a bad mood.\" He said handing me a gummy bear. \"Thanks.\" I muttered. Gummy bears were my favorite. \"Weren't you going out with Henry tonight?\" he asked. Those boys kept better track of my life than I did. \"We were,\" I sighed. \"But then there was a change in plans.\" As much as I hated talking to my siblings

about my relationships, especially my brother, I found talking to them about it was easier than hiding it from them. It kept them from prying because they were already aware of what was going on. \"By who? Him?\" he asked. I nodded. \"Is his mom sick?\" \"No.\" \"His dad?\" \"No.\" \"Then I don't see why there's a change in plans.\" He said crossing his arms. My brothers were hard, real hard on the guys who showed any interest in me. \"I dunno, he had something to do with Carter and Justin.\" I said bitterly. He always had something to do with them, his agenda didn't have time for me anymore. \"And he had something to do with you too.\" He said irritated. \"I'm tired of this dude treating you like this.\"

\"Treating me like what?\" \"Treating you like you're plan B or something when you should be plan A. He's always canceling on you. You get dressed up and wait on him only to be called and told that there's been a change in plans.\" He said grimacing. He had a point. \"What am I supposed to do about it?\" It's not like I haven't talked to him about because I have but it wasn't sinking in. \"Dump him. He doesn't deserve you. You should be a priority!\" He said hitting the couch’s arm. \"And I am!\" \"Are you really?” he asked cocking his head to the left side. A man who keeps breaking dates with you does not see you as a priority.\" He said seriously.\"And you should always be a priority.\" 

81. After We Marry Each time I think about how Jordan and I met; it amazes me that we've made it this far. It was a set up done by mutual friends. I thought those never worked out or didn’t last. We were both told we'd be hanging out altogether. We would start the afternoon with an early dinner then later go to an outdoor concert. But when we both got to the restaurant, we received texts from each of them saying them they weren't coming become something came up. That's when we know we've been duped. \"There's no point in letting a good date go to waste,\" he said shrugging. Like a gentleman, he pulled out a chair for me. I'm severely allergic to cheese but somehow a piece, a strand, or a drop of it ended up in my food. I don't know if it due to cross-contamination or something else but as soon as I ate it, my immune system was quick to respond. First came a sensation that made me nauseated. I excused myself then left him at the table to head to the bathroom. Next came the lightheadedness and the stomach cramps. And then I was rushing to the

emergency room, not once did he leave my side or squirm in disgust. That's when I knew I had something special. Our second date was planned and that time I didn't get sick. Samuel came along too. Jordan got stuck babysitting at the last minute, so we decided to go to the zoo. It was then I saw how great he was with children, patient and loving and kind and sweet. His little brother adored him and soon, so did I. ••• \"How do you guys do it?\" she asked. The girls were on one side on the couch and I sat by myself on the other. Tonight, it was our night to get away from our men and be among other women. Nina's fiancé was coming to town tonight to perform and in two hours so that's where we were heading. \"Do what?\" I asked laughing. \"You guys are no different than when you weren't married yet.\" said Jenay like it was appalling. Her scientific brain was looking for a million reasons why that was unexpected.

\"Why would we be different?\" I asked weirdly. \"The only thing that's different are the rings,” I held up my hand, wiggling my fingers for an added effect. “My finger is no longer bare, and neither is his.\" On my finger was a 14k white gold ring with a round cut. It was so simple but so gorgeous like me. \"You know how some couples get,\" Faith said. \"You're together then you get married and everything is ruined.\" She was speaking from experience. Her and Patrick's marriage was still sailing through some rough seas. \"Well,\" I said chewing my gum. \"We love each other and are devoted to making this work.\" I loved Jordan and he loved me, we both wanted to be together. When things got tough, we kept that in mind. \"Doesn't every couple?\" asked Jenay. \"No, they say that, but they don't show it. Sometimes we can make a big deal out of nothing.\" I said shrugging. \"Like the first time Jordan went out and came home an hour later than when he said, I nearly freaked.\" I said, wincing at my immaturity. It was childish now that I think about it, but I was scared, and it was all new to me. Not every woman cared if a

man is married or not, she will go after him relentlessly. \"What did he do?\" asked Faith shoving her mouth with popcorn. \"You know Jordan, he laughed at me like it was the funniest thing he's ever seen. Then I started laughing because I really was tripping then he told me why he was late and that was it.\" He stopped to give a man a jump, his car broke down and he helped him. \"See now if that was Micah, he would've been sleeping on the couch.\" said Nina sucking her teeth. \"Which isn't fair, he might but not have meant to be late. Things come up. We can’t control everything.\" I said shrugging my shoulders. \"You've got to learn to trust your man.\" I trusted mine with my life. I truly believed he would never do anything to purposely hurt me. \"Patrick never wants to take pictures with me,\" Faith said frustratedly. \"Like am I too ugly or something?\" \"You know your beautiful Fay,\" Nina said rolling her eyes. \"That's not why, that poor boy doesn't like his face all over your Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

You tend to go overboard. Ty and I post like what, once or twice a week yet you post every hour.\" \"I get bored,\" she said shrugging. “Don’t you take pictures with Jordan?\" she asked me. \"All the time but I don't post everything, I know how he doesn't really like them, but he accepts because I do. It's all about balance guys.\" Once in a while, his face comes up on my feed but not always. There were some moments that were private and intimate, I kept those to myself. It was only for us, not the entire world. Then there were fun and silly moments I wanted to share with family and friends. \"And he lets you go on his phone, doesn't he?\" asked Nina. \"Micah's phone has a password on almost everything. It's like he Nina-proofed it.\" She groaned aloud. \"Why wouldn't he?\" I asked. We didn't hide anything from each other, there wasn't a thing I didn't know about him and him about me. \"He's got nothing to hide and I trust him. Sometimes he does keep it away from me because he says I mess up his games. He says I don't know how to play them, but I do.\" I said rolling my eyes.

\"You two are just too perfect,\" said Faith. \"Life isn't fair sometimes.\" \"We're not perfect,\" I said laughing thinking of just how imperfect we were. \"Not by a long shot.\" I added with a smile on my face as I sipped my green tea. That was enough tea spilling for today. The love Jordan and I developed before we were married was just as important afterwards Love is truly the core of one’s marriage, it's what keeps it going like a well-oiled machine.

82. The End \"Thanks.\" I said handing the book back to my older sister. It was hers in the first place, but she let me read it thinking it would help me. High school was tough, each day I endured, the more and more down I felt. The more ugly, stupid, unwanted, stressed, alone, incompetent, and unlovable I felt. But this book made me feel beautiful, a sense of belonging, a sense of unity, smart, wanted, and calm. \"What did you think? “she asked. \"It was amazing.\" I said breathlessly. \"All the stories, they were just amazing and the people who write them were just incredibly talented.\" I was still in awe even though I finished the book two days ago. \"I honestly thought I was the only one who felt these things and who had these thoughts.\" \"Learn anything new?\" she asked looking at me briefly as we waited under the red light. \"Where do I start?\" \"Anywhere you want,\" she chuckled. \"We've got time to kill.\"

\"Everyone has their dragons including me. They’re scary and can be ferocious but if Disney movies have taught me anything, it's that they can be beaten! My dragons will not define me or dictate my life... I won't let them.\" \"I'm not letting a lot of things define me! Like my color, my mocha skin color. It's about time I've shown it some love because it's the only skin I've got and it's not going anywhere... but how I see it will be changing.\" I said. \"It's beautiful. Despite how dark it is, the stretch marks that cover part of it, it's beautiful and no one can tell me differently. I'm proud to call it mine.\" \"Mom and dad's divorce was hard, bouncing back between homes was crazy and frustrating especially since all I wanted was to be with dad.\" I said sighing. \"You got to escape all the craziness, but I was stuck behind. Dad accepts me for who am I am, he doesn't force me to be something I'm not. Nothing is ever good for her; her favorite phrase is 'You could do better'.\" I sighed. \"Every night I'd go to sleep wondering why am I never good enough?\" I drummed my fingers on my legs. \"But the truth is I am,\" I said smiling sadly. \"I'm never going to be good enough for people and that's fine because I've

only got to be good enough for me! At the end of the day, that's what counts right?\" \"Right!\" she said pumping her fist in the air. \"And I don't care what mom says, she can tell me 'Never marry a Haitian man ' for as long as she wants but it's my choice! No one is going to take that from me or stop me from marrying whatever race, color, or ethnicity that I want. Those things don't even matter to me, who he is, his personality and how he treats me does.\" \"Right on sister.\" Sometimes it could be so confusing living in this state. One minute it's sunny out and the next it's pouring like crazy. \"Turn on your signal! Why is that so hard? It's not rocket science people!\" she yelled frustratedly. Floridians liked to turn on their signals as much as northerns liked to obey speed limits. Not at all. \"Have you made a choice yet?\" she asked calming down. \"On what?\" I asked opening my bag of Doritos. I gave up eating chips for a year after Alexis Sinclair

called me a fat pig! But if liking to actually eat food, digest it and enjoy it makes me a fat pig, so be it! I wasn't going to let her, or anyone stop me from enjoying food, it was meant to be eaten! And if anything, I'd be a fantastic and beautiful fat pig! If I was going to be changing what I eat or my weight, I was going to be doing it for me! \"College? Your major? Hopefully one of the two.\" \"Oh that,\" I said sourly. \"I still have some undeclared choice's and that used to bug me a lot. It still does but not as much. Don't worry, I've got some choices on the table but I'm not ready to pick just yet and now I know that's okay. Not everyone is expected to know what they want to do with their lives at 18.\" \"I mean you didn't,\" I said pointing at her. \"And you're doing great.\" My sister has always had that go-getter attitude, which is why back in high school when they didn't accept her on the cheer team (although she was good) at a time when a black cheerleader was unheard of, she did something about it. That's how she found her love for cheer and now she teaches cheer back at her former high school and to a little kid's group during the summer. She loves it and has no regrets although it took her time and a few bumps to get there.

\"Your phone has been dinging for the past twenty minutes, who keeps texting you?\" she asked. \"It's not a text, someone just tagged me in a photo.\" I said opening it up to find an old picture of my friends and I. Underneath were the captions: \"Can't believe I've known these amazing people since ninth grade! We were practically babies and now we're about to be graduated grown women in a few months!\" I showed her the picture. \"I'm glad you guys managed to stay friends through everything you've been through like, growing up, puberty and periods, and all that stuff that comes with getting older. Your friendship game is strong!\" \"Who posted it?\" she asked. \"Naomi.\"  \"Of course, that girl is like a social media guru.\" She chuckled. She didn't hate social media, but my sister used it sparingly. Once in a while she caught up with her high school friends or posted pictures of her and her boyfriend who is now her fiancée. Naomi was always called the prettiest of all of us. Her Asian background granted her with beauty, soft

small hands, a perfect small figure, slanted ovals eyes that guys never stopped looking into. And her long black hair was enchanting in all its silkiness. \"I used to think she had it all.\" I said softly. \"Why?\" \"Because she's pretty,\" I said like it was obvious. \"I mean have you seen her face?\" \"It pretty gorgeous.\" She admitted. \"But so is yours.\" \"Thanks.\" I said. \"Surprisingly, I used to think only overweight girls had issues.\" I said. \"Man was I wrong,\" I added just thinking of the stories I read too.\" \"They aren’t? “asked sister feigning surprise. \"You know that,\" I said rolling my eyes at her theatrics. \"Pretty girl issues.\" I said. \"They're real. If someone would've told me that I probably would laugh in their face... but reading about it is different. I never thought calling someone skinny could be so insulting to them.\" \"We berate people for being too big then do the same thing if they're too small. We make fun of them

if they have a butt then laugh at them if they don't. We shun them if they don't have a pretty face and judge them if we do, sometimes start from just their names. There's really is no winning in the society we live in. But I'm going to try to do my part and think before I say something because a compliment to me isn't a compliment to everyone. Compliments don't always have to be based on the physical.\" When I showed that one story about pretty girls to Naomi, she burst into tears because she said that was her life in a nutshell. I never would've imagined how the compliments we gave her about her clothes, face, and body bothered her. We chose to compliment the physical instead of congratulating her on a dance performance or a test she aced. She said she felt like all we cared about was the outside and if she were to lose it all tomorrow, she'd be no one and she'd have nothing. \"I guess you never really know what someone is going through.\" \"Nope, you never do. Even when you think you do you don't, sometimes we never really know what we're going through and it's our body and our life.\"

\"Deep.\" \"I can be a deep person.\" She said. \"Why else do you think Jonathan is marrying me?\" She said. \"It's not just for my looks.\" \"And it's not for your jokes either.\" I said laughing. \"Are you nervous about getting married in a couple of days?\" \"Yea!\" She said. \"Are you crazy? What's not to worry about?\" she asked sighing. \"I'm just scared I'm going to be left at the alter if he gets cold feet.\" \"Don't worry, Jonathan wouldn't try that.\" I said comfortingly. \"He knows we all know where he lives and works. Anyways, the guy loves you and you love him. You're going to be a beautiful bride; he's going to be a handsome groom and I'm going to be a gorgeous bridesmaid.\" \"That's really messed up that you're going to be gorgeous and I'm going to beautiful.\" She laughed. \"I think we should switch.\" \"Fine,\" I said begrudgingly.  \"You can be gorgeous but only because it's your day.\"

\"Thanks, I can always count you.\" She said sarcastically. \"So, do you ever plan on getting married someday when you meet that special someone?\" \"Yes.\" I said honestly. \"Isn't that the ultimate goal when you're in a relationship?\" I asked but then again. \"Well, I know not everyone sees it that way, unfortunately, but I do. It's one of my goals because I believe in marriage. I hope to meet someone someday using traditional methods then after we date for some time, I want to tie the knot and begin starting a family.\" \"You make it sound easy.\" \"I know it isn't,\" I said. \"That book was filled with broken tears and broken relationships and broken marriages.\" \"Being married can be hard at times and just because you’re married to a doctor, a celebrity, or maybe a former criminal,\" I said as she looked at me weirdly. \"Doesn't make it easier or harder. Marriage takes work, effort and understanding but when you truly love each other, and care for each other, you'll make it work through the good and bad days.\" I said.

\"When the time is right, I'll be ready to make that commitment.\" But first I've got to get over my fear of commitment.\" I said. \"Oh!” I said remembering another point, “And I learned that when I'm getting married to my future husband, he and I are going to have to have a long talk before we marry.\" \"But that's not for another ten years or so, right?\" she asked. \"Sure, keep thinking that.\" I chuckled as I patted her shoulder comfortingly. Little did she knew that there was this Russian guy I met while studying for midterms. We've been chatting ever since and there was a connection. I wasn't afraid to embark on something new anymore, there was nothing wrong with dating outside your race! We both couldn't help but sing along when Justin Timberlake’s song cry me a river came on. ”We sang out of tune but for some reason, the lyrics had a different effect on me. I turned down the volume just a bit. \"What are you doing girl?\" she asked. \"That's my jam and my future husband.\" \"You're engaged, remembered?\"

\"And? He's not hubby yet, there's still hope for me and JT.\" \"Except that's he married,\" I said rolling my eyes. \"When we were little, I remember you never cried. Didn't you ever feel like crying sometimes? Especially when mom and dad's argument got heated?\" \"All the time.\" \"So why didn't you cry?\" \"I thought it would mean I was weak and overly sensitive. Mom never cried so I thought I should do the same.\" \"And then I thought I should do the same too,\" I said having an epiphany. I've been imitating my mom and my sister all these years. \"We can't do that anymore.\" I said determinedly. \"You have no idea, but the power of tears is something no one should underestimate. Cry till your tear ducts are dry, don't hold it end. You see what happens sometimes when people underestimate the force of restrained water. Just when you least expect it, it breaks the dams open.\" I

said. \"Don't be stubborn and leave them close or it will force its way out.\" \"We are strong and independent women, shedding tears, and sobbing until our heart aches won't stop that! And if anyone tries to ask me 'why I'm not married' or you then rudely tries to answer the question by saying we've got unapproachable written all over us or we’re too clingy, or too talkative, “I shook my head as I blew some stream. \"Ignore them because they obviously don't have more to do than stalk your love life or lack of it.” The area was getting more and more familiar! My thoughts were only confirmed when she parked the car. \"We're at grandma's already?\" I asked shocked. She lived about two hours away! She must've hit every green light or something. \"Time flies when you get to talking.\" She chuckled. \"But before we end and surprise everyone, I want to tell you something.\" She said. She had my attention, I used to think badly of my older sister. People were always comparing me to her like I was her shadow, like she was the prettier one, the nicer one and the smarter one.

But I know differently now, she was my big sister and she loved me and wanted to protect me and help me navigate this crazy journey called growing up. There was no reason to try and break away from, it's not like I could if I wanted, but I needed her just like I know she needs me. \"You know Kiarra, it doesn't matter how many times you fall but what you choose to do after. Are you going to have a pity party in the dirt or are you going to rise and triumph because you aren't going to reach it from down there,\" she said pointing down below. \"It's always up there.\" She said smiling as we looked above. \"I want to rise and triumph.\" I said softly. \"Good, that's what I thought you'd say.\" She said smiling at me before digging into her life-size purse. That thing has everything you could ever need. \"That's why I brought you this.\" \"The Collection: Overcoming The Struggles Of Young Women.\" I read aloud. \"There's another one?\" I asked excitedly. \"Yeah, I think you'll like it too. It's for all those women like you who wish to triumph.\"

Thanks for reading  The Collection Kiarra is a young African American woman perfecting her craft while unleashing imaginative hopes, dreams, and struggles into her diverse works. Through the inspiration of the many works she has read in the past, she strives to instill hope, humor, and a healthy dose of reality into each story she writes. Her greatest learning method is through reading. She believes reading to explore different perspectives helps her and others understand the world around us. With each book she writes, she wants to teach her audience that there is more to people than what we know or what we think we know. She sincerely hopes you enjoyed this collection and go one to explore her other works!