6 x 9 TEMPLATE The manuscript copy new headers 25-11-18

Chapter 5talking to one another. The nurses and Michelle obviously hada lot to talk about, I didn’t feel left out, I was with the girl Iwanted to be with more than anything in life and I knew howto handle myself in conversation, but I was still very young andobviously had a lot to learn. Suddenly, I started to feel a little uneasy, Michelle seemedso comfortable in this environment that I then began to feel leftout. The age differences. Then, just as suddenly I thought fuckthe age difference and launched myself into the conversations.This brought Michelle to my side and together we took over thewhole show, believe me, it was quite something. On the train back, Michelle said, “What a wonderful day,Roy. Thank you for getting me back to the tennis.” We cuddledup and soon arrived at our destination. As we left the station,she said, “Shall we end the day by going into the Fox for anhour and then going back to my place and do what we like todo.” “Sounds good to me,” I replied. Having satisfied our incredible sexual appetites for oneanother, we were lying on the bed, side by side. “Roy, do you ever think about our future together.” “Not really, I’m just enjoying our present.” “Yes, so am I, but, I’m sorry, I do worry about the differencein our ages” I went to speak but she cut in, “before you sayanything, just let me say I couldn’t love anyone else whileyou’re alive. You are everything to me my darling, you mustknow that by now but you are only 17, ok nearly 18. I don’texpect you to think too much about the future, but I am nearly25 and I can’t help sometimes thinking of where we are going.”Her lovely face was very serious and she was starting to go intothat little girl lost look, so I very quickly started to payattention. “When I’m 35 you will only be 28” 45

Chapter 5 “Well I can add up, so what.” “That’s not fair, you know what I mean, I’m going to wantchildren long before then, perhaps in a couple of years and Idon’t think it’s right that you should have to make thosedecisions at such a young age.” She now actually looked a bit depressed and worried, a lookI had never seen on her lovely face. She suddenly got up fromthe bed and quickly dressed. “Do you want a coffee?” “Yes please.” She made the coffee and we sat at the table. Seriousconversation to continue with our clothes on. She said, “Do you want children?” “With you yes. Now would you stand up please.” “Why?” “ I will tell you why, when you stand up”. She stood up and then I stood up and immediately wentdown on one knee and said, “Michelle, would you pleasemarry me and be my wife.” Her beautiful face looked stunned, she was going to saysomething but nothing came out, instead a smile slowly spreadacross her face, until it couldn’t spread any wider. She stoodthere saying nothing and then she nodded her head and said“Yes.” She came into my arms and I said, “Can we get undressed now?” So, we were unofficially engaged. We told our parents. Myparents were pleased. My mother idolised me, really. Shethought I was the bee’s knees. There was nothing I couldn’tachieve in my life. What was her nickname for me? You won’tbelieve it. Superman. As far as my mum was concerned, no girlwas good enough for me. When My mum met Michelle, shewas stunned by her beauty and her kindness and they both 46

Chapter 5agreed about one thing immediately. How much they bothloved me. My mum said lots of nice things about me andMichelle replied by saying even more nice things about me. Ithought they were going to create an appreciation society forRoy Prentice, perhaps they did. I was anxious to find out how Michelle’s Parents felt. Oneevening at Michelle’s place (I was spending most eveningsthere now.) we were sitting on the settee listening to somemusic, when Michelle turned the sound down and said, “My parents took the news of us getting married very well.They very definitely know by now, how much I love you andjust said, slightly sarcastically, it would be nice to meet youbefore the wedding.” “Well you arrange something and I will fit in.” Changing the subject, I said “Michelle, can you tell me howyou came to know about sexual stimulation and all thedifferent positions.” “Pardon,” “I’m not going to repeat it.” “No, and I’m not going to tell you.” “Well in that case, I’m not going to make love to you for thenext hour.” “OK” she said, “you win, sit down and I will tell you. First,I’m a nurse and nurses for some reason get together and talkabout sex and their own sexual exploits, in detail.” “Like what” “If you interrupt again, that’s it, I’m not going to tell you.Believe it or not but women talk about sex in greater detail thanmen and that’s why I know so much. They would say thingsand then I would go home and lay on my bed and try them out.Also, my mother told me quite a lot to. Different positions weremore down to experimenting with my ex-boyfriend who was 47

Chapter 528 to my 20, at the time. He was a doctor at the hospital andwas very experienced.” “So why did you break up?” She didn’t say anything for awhile and I had this strong feeling to take her in my arms andcomfort her but I wanted to know. “We were together for twoyears. The sex was pretty good but not in the same class as you.I never knew it could be that good until I had sex with you, alsowith you, after the actual sex it’s fantastic the way I feel. Likethere’s nowhere else in the universe I want to be, other thanlying beside my wonderful, strong gentle intelligent Roy. Ididn’t know it could be like that until it happened. Anyway,back to Sean, that was his name. I had a feeling that I was notthe only nurse he was fucking. I heard a few things and saw afew things that made me believe this. When I confronted him,he didn’t actually deny it. He also had this sort of aggressiveattitude that scared me a little and made me feel he was incontrol of me. I just didn’t want to continue to be with someonelike that, so, I ended the relationship.” “How did he take it” “Not very well, he made life difficult for me at the Hospital.I was in the process of asking for a transfer to another hospital,which was really the last resort as I had all my friends here andI like my apartment. Then suddenly he took a position atanother hospital and I haven’t heard about him since.” “Michelle, thank you for telling me that.” “That took half an hour, so I presume that I don’t have towait another half an hour. Can we make love now please?” We were going to visit Michele’s parents in Worcester. Wewould arrive there on the Friday and leave on the Monday. Iwas feeling nervous about it. Michelle was of course telling methat there was no need to feel nervous and everything wouldbe fine. We were going by British Rail and her dad would meet 48

Chapter 5us at the station. “Michelle, I don’t feel very confident aboutthis, you know. They will probably think of my age as astumbling block to everything.” “Don’t worry” she said, “Ihave told daddy that by the time I have knocked you intoshape, you’ll be ready for anything.” “Hah, hah” I replied. Shecame into my arms. “Darling don’t worry, my parents knowhow much I love you. They love me and they know that if theyever did anything to hurt you, they would lose me forever.” So, at 3pm we set of by train. A long journey but we werefortunate enough to have a carriage of our own, most of theway. We started off by reading our books, but soon got tired ofthem. So, we sat next to one another and had a cuddle and thena kiss, I then said to Michelle, “Would you mind taking your jeans down so I can fingeryour pussy.” “Oh, I don’t know about that, Oh OK…..would you mindtaking your trousers down so I can suck your cock.” I don’t remember two and half hours on a train ever goingso quick. We arrived at our destination feeling extremelyrelaxed. Her dad was waiting at the station, a tall distinguishedlooking man of about fifty years of age. He seemed veryrelaxed, although it might have been because I was veryrelaxed, all I do know is that I was feeling very happy. We madesmall talk and went to his car, A Rolls of course, they were veryfashionable at the time. We drove up to the house which wasimpressive: mock Tudor in about an acre of grounds, big drivein and drive out. The Mother came out to greet us, she lookeda bit younger than her husband. The younger sister was notthere but we were told she would be arriving later. The housewas furnished to a high standard, mainly antiques, lovelylounge and a very elegant dining room. There seemed to beplenty of bedrooms but they had prepared one, with an on- 49

Chapter 5suite bathroom for the both of us to be together, which was agood start. The father made a joke of the fact that he didn’t wantto hear creaking floor boards in the middle of the night and weall laughed with relief. The sister arrived later that day about6pm, she looked a lot like Michelle and acted like her too, sothat was OK, we got on well, in fact we all got on well, theywere very nice people. We settled in our bedroom and wentdownstairs at about 7.30pm. They had arranged a table at a local restaurant in the village.As it turned out, it was an excellent restaurant and we had alovely evening, far from being apprehensive about my age,they felt that it could perhaps even be an advantage. Theyknew, by talking to Michelle that I was very determined to besuccessful in life and provide well for my family. They werealso very relieved that she had now got over her ex-boyfriend.They had seen their daughter lose a lot of her self-confidenceand become depressed. Her father told me that the differencein Michelle since she had been with me was a wonder to beholdand the whole family would always be grateful to me for this,he said that they would back our marriage one hundredpercent, I was nearly crying with happiness and he could seethis. The whole weekend was the best time I had ever had in mylife. I had a good mother and father who brought me up well,but we were very poor and I had never sampled life like thisand it made me want more. Her dad even mentioned that heknew many people who ran their own businesses and althoughhe wouldn’t dream of sticking his nose in our affairs, therewould always be available, introductions to these people if Irequired them. Wowy, wow. In that respect, I had no qualms atall. Any help he could provide I would be grateful for, I didn’tsay that to him of course but it was good to know. The first 50

Chapter 5night we were there, we got into bed and laid down. I said, veryseriously “Michelle, I don’t think we should make love tonight,because it’s the first night in your parents’ home.” And I turnedover and away from her to go to sleep and waited. “Fuck off,” she said and grabbed my cock. “My god, I can’t take you anywhere.” Her family must have been surprised at the love Michelleand myself showed to one another, it really was powerful. Ithink by the end of the stay, they must have fully realised thatit was not possible for Michelle and me to ever be apart. Wesaid our goodbyes and they thanked me for making Michelletruly happy again. Mission accomplished; the stay couldn’t have gone better.On the train back we realised that we hadn’t realised just howmuch tension and stress we had been under on this visit to herparents. It was like a weight had been lifted of our shouldersand we were a stone lighter. We felt great, everyone was happyfor us. The train was due back at 5.30pm and we both had thenext day, Tuesday, off. Michelle turned to me and said, “Doyou know what I would like to do now” I said “No” She said,“Get pissed and then get fucked.” I never heard Michelle swear in conversation to anyone. Theonly time I ever heard her swear, was when we were alonetogether and only then when the conversation turned to sex.She probably felt that for me to hear such words, coming froma beautiful girl who looked like an angel was a turn on. Andshe was 100% right. I loved it. It turned me on when I wasalready being turned on and doubled the fucking turn on. Swearing is a part of my culture. Where I was brought upnearly everyone swore at one time or another, some, more thanothers. I loved most of those people. My target in life was to 51

Chapter 5materialistically improve myself, not to get away from thepeople, I loved them. When you are putting the written word onto paper, thereare situations where only a swear word will suffice. Forexample: He was a really bad man. He was a cunt.Also, in jokes. For example: the long drawn out version of the four-legged chicken. No, it’s OK I’m not going to fuckit. It starts with a man driving his car down a country road, helooks in his rear mirror and sees a chicken running behind him.He thinks, I’m going at about 50 miles an hour and this chickenis keeping up with me, not bad. So, he puts his foot down a littleand revs up to 60; looks in the mirror and the chicken is stillthere. Bligh me, and then he sees that the chicken has four legs.He thinks, I’ve had enough of this and speeds up to 80 mph.The chicken overtakes and goes past him like he’s standing still.Now he’s following the chicken and finding it hard to keep up.Suddenly, the chicken turns right and goes down a side road.The man thinks, do I turn right and follow the chicken or not.He thinks if I don’t follow, I will always wonder for the rest ofmy life, what it was all about. So, he turns right and follows thechicken. After about a mile he sees the chicken run into a farm andthen sees a farmhand. The farm is very run down and it doesn’tlook like they are doing very well. He drives over to thefarmhand, winds the window down and says, “Did you seethat four-legged chicken.” “Yes mate, his one of ours. You see,there is a gourmet restaurant in the village and it specialises inchicken drumsticks, so we thought that if we bred four leggedchickens, we would be able to supply them better.” “So, what 52

Chapter 5went wrong? because your farm doesn’t seem like its doing toowell.” The farmhand replied, “We could never catch them.” Now for some people that’s ok. But for others, by the timeyou get to the end. They are so bored out of their minds, thattheir eye balls are rolling around in their sockets and they lookat you in a strange way waiting for the punchline. It’s whenyou see this that you change the punchline to, “We could nevercatch the bastards.” And they always seem to laugh at that.Mind you, they could be laughing with blessed relief, that thejoke has finally come to an end!We were coming to an end of 1963. The month was September and there was a buzz in the air. The youth ofBritain were beginning to be heard, there was the sound ofrebellion in the country. The working-class boy had hadenough of the rich making all the rules and the poor being shiton. The Americans took all the girls and there wasn’t much left.Then came the music and the fashion explosion; generated, bythe working-class youth of Britain and the world changedovernight. No more, did you have to try and talk like one ofthose middle fucking class ponce´s. Now if you spoke cockneyor Liverpudlian, you were very with it and fashionable andgirls from all over the world started to visit London with onething in mind; to find the Beatles, the Rolling stones or anyother British pop group and when they found them; to befucked by them. And if they couldn’t find them, they then wentlooking for the ordinary working-class boy who looked andtalked like them. So, any working-class boy who had a grain ofcommon sense made the fuck sure he did look like them. Thisconsisted of wearing your hair down to your shoulders, flaredtrousers, tight fitting voile shirt, tight fitting jacket or shortleather jacket, both needing a shoe horn to help you to slide into 53

Chapter 5them and stack shoes that made you six inches taller. So,overnight you became slimmer and taller. Did it work? You canbet your life it did and just to cap it all, the contraceptive pillhad arrived and aids was nowhere in sight. Paradise hadarrived, for the poor working-class boy of England. To make the best of it, you had to take this lot to Londonand work in a Menswear boutique shop, preferably with thelatest sounds blasting out and the manager and hiscompatriots, all on marijuana. Then girls from all over theworld descended on you. The best shops for this were: theVillage Gate, the Squire shop, John Stephen, Lady Jane, (whereon the 11th May 1966. Police intervened after live models wereused as mannequins in the shop window, causing disruptionto traffic.) Lord John and Take six. The best streets wereCarnaby street, the Kings Road and Oxford Street. Me and Michelle decided to go to Carnaby Street to seewhat was going on and possibly, buy some clothes. We wentby British Rail to Victoria station and by underground toOxford Circus. We walked from there to Carnaby street, alovely sunny warm day. She was wearing dark brown tight-fitting cotton jeans, with a light green blouse with dark greenand white printed spots on, which showed her natural blondehair off perfectly. The blouse was very fine and soft and crossedover at a point that showed plenty of cleavage. Not much wasleft to the imagination, other than guarantying that two of themost beautiful tits in the world were underneath. Nipplesprotruding through the fine material showed she was notwearing a bra, I also knew that she wasn’t wearing any knickerseither. At home, she sometimes wore this blouse and nothingelse: to let me know that she wanted immediate sex. The first shop we went into was John Stephen. She pickedme out some dark brown stretch cotton jeans. Perfect. We then 54

Chapter 5went on to Lady Jane and she perused through the clothesthere. She chose a lovely loosely fitted light blue cotton dresswhich set her figure off perfectly and highlighted her lovelyblond hair with its natural curls. She asked me if I liked it. I saidit looked fantastic on her and then whispered in her ear. “Whenwe get home, wear only that and let me fuck you in it.” Shethought for a moment and then replied, “I can’t wait until weget home, come in to the fitting room and fuck me now, please.”We were in the fitting room fucking, sorry, making love, asquietly as we could, when the saleswoman said from outside “Is everything OK.” “Yes it’s a perfect fit.” Nice to have a girl who can think on her feet. One Saturday morning at Michelle’s apartment we decidedto go on a sort of lent of having no sex for the weekend. A fewdays before we had played a mixed doubles tournament andlost the deciding third set 7-5. We put this down to lack ofstamina. Suffice, ease up on the sex, return of stamina. At about2pm that afternoon we sat on the sofa watching TV; I had myarm around Michele giving her a loving cuddle. Suddenly herright, young, firm, beautifully shaped tit fell out of her blouse.“Oh dear” she said, “look at that.” I said “I am.” She went toput it away, I said, “Oh let me give the nipple a suck.” She said“No, I don’t think we should. It’s only been two hours since westarted the lent.” I replied, “I’m only going to suck your nipple,nothing else.” “Oh, OK then.” So, I started to suck her nippleand slightly massage her breast. “Ah Roy, that’s really lovely.”After a few minutes of this, her nipple had grown to twice thesize and gone a darker shade of pale, I mean brown. Michelle’sleft hand expertly pulled her light weight tracksuit trousersdown, she then slid her delicate fingers into her panties and 55

Chapter 5started fingering her pussy and bringing herself off. Fuck thetennis. I was practically living at Michelle’s apartment now. Somedays were bad days. She would come home feeling very down.The job really got to her. She would spend time describing tome the incredibly sad situations of some of the patients. Atthese times, I would cook some food for us, and make a cup oftea, no alcohol, and just listen. Hold her hand and listen andlisten. I was so grateful to be with her and to do anything Icould to soften her sadness. Those nights, we would go to bedearly, I would hold her hand and just be there, until she fellasleep. The following morning, I would get up early andquietly and prepare some breakfast for her. Anything to allowher to sleep as long as possible. There was a small desk in onecorner of the lounge, where she would study. She was studyingvarious courses set for her by the hospital. Her profession ofcourse was an ongoing learning process as she climbed theladder of promotion.She loved poetry, Blake, Keats, Rossetti, Dylan Thomas, John Betjeman and many others. Her two favourites by Betjeman,were, “A Subalterns Love-song” and “Death in Leamington.”And by Rossetti, “Remember. “DEATH IN LEAMINGTONShe died in the upstairs bedroomBy the light of the ev'ning starThat shone through the plate glass windowFrom over Leamington Spa 56

Chapter 5Beside her the lonely crochetLay patiently and unstirred,But the fingers that would have work'd itWere dead as the spoken word.And Nurse came in with the tea-thingsBreast high 'mid the stands and chairsBut Nurse was alone with her own little soul,And the things were alone with theirs.She bolted the big round window,She let the blinds unroll,She set a match to the mantle,She covered the fire with coal.And \"Tea!\" she said in a tiny voice\"Wake up! It's nearly five\"Oh! Chintzy, chintzy cheeriness,Half dead and half alive.Do you know that the stucco is peeling?Do you know that the heart will stop?From those yellow Italianate archesDo you hear the plaster drop?Nurse looked at the silent bedstead,At the gray, decaying face,As the calm of a Leamington ev'ning 57

Chapter 5Drifted into the place.She moved the table of bottlesAway from the bed to the wall;And tiptoeing gently over the stairsTurned down the gas in the hall.A SUBALTERNS LOVE-SONGMiss J. Hunter Dunn, Miss J. Hunter Dunn,Furnish'd and burnish'd by Aldershot sun,What strenuous singles we played after tea,We in the tournament - you against me!Love-thirty, love-forty, oh! weakness of joy,The speed of a swallow, the grace of a boy,With carefullest carelessness, gaily you won,I am weak from your loveliness, Joan Hunter Dunn.Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn,How mad I am, sad I am, glad that you won,The warm-handled racket is back in its press,But my shock-headed victor, she loves me no less.Her father's euonymus shines as we walk,And swing past the summer-house, buried in talk,And cool the verandah that welcomes us inTo the six-o'clock news and a lime-juice and gin.The scent of the conifers, sound of the bath, 58

Chapter 5The view from my bedroom of moss-dappled path,As I struggle with double-end evening tie,For we dance at the Golf Club, my victor and I.On the floor of her bedroom lie blazer and shorts,And the cream-coloured walls are be-trophied with sports,And westering, questioning settles the sun,On your low-leaded window, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn.The Hillman is waiting, the light's in the hall,The pictures of Egypt are bright on the wall,My sweet, I am standing beside the oak stairAnd there on the landing's the light on your hair.By roads \"not adopted\", by woodlanded ways,She drove to the club in the late summer haze,Into nine-o'clock Camberley, heavy with bellsAnd mushroomy, pine-woody, evergreen smells.Miss Joan Hunter Dunn, Miss Joan Hunter Dunn,I can hear from the car park the dance has begun,Oh! Surrey twilight! importunate band!Oh! strongly adorable tennis-girl's hand!Around us are Rovers and Austins afar,Above us the intimate roof of the car,And here on my right is the girl of my choice,With the tilt of her nose and the chime of her voice. 59

Chapter 5And the scent of her wrap, and the words never said,And the ominous, ominous dancing ahead.We sat in the car park till twenty to oneAnd now I'm engaged to Miss Joan Hunter Dunn.“A Subalterns Love Song” and “ Remember”, she knew byheart and often recited the whole poem to me by memory. Sheknew that if she said it to me properly that I would walk awayor turn my head so she would not see me crying. It was sobeautiful to hear these poems, that I have loved since I was achild and first heard in school when Mr Jones read them to theclass. To hear them recited just as they should be with themelancholy past memories, by the one you adored, was soemotionally severe, that I just had to cry with happiness andgratitude.REMEMBERRemember me when I am gone away,Gone far away into the silent land;When you can no more hold me by the hand,Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.Remember me when no more day by dayYou tell me of our future that you plann'd:Only remember me; you understandIt will be late to counsel then or pray.Yet if you should forget me for a whileAnd afterwards remember, do not grieve:For if the darkness and corruption leaveA vestige of the thoughts that once I had,Better by far you should forget and smileThan that you should remember and be sad. 60

Chapter 5My job at Hall Harding was going well and I had been promoted to a more responsible position, with moremoney. The proximity of everything was also very important.My home, Michelle’s apartment and our jobs, were all withinten minutes’ walk of each other. This was very advantageousfor a new relationship because it meant instead of spending alot of our time travelling, we spent that time together and gotto know one another much quicker. Sometimes we would have an argument. But it was morelike a comedy show. The minute, one of us became upset, theother would practically go down on their hands and knees andbeg for forgiveness. Sometimes the offender would have tohave their bum smacked. Michelle or me, whoever. Let me tellyou when you’re gently spanking a bum of the one you loveand the recipient is making little “ouch” noises, you wouldforgive them for anything in life. One Saturday afternoon, with the rain pouring downoutside, we were on the bed enjoying sex. I was laying on myback and Michelle was astride, sitting on my cock. Up anddown she went, her lovely firm tits bouncing up and down too,and every now and again she would caress her breasts and flingher head back in sexual desire and shout with pleasure, “ Ride him cowboy” If only we had, had mobile phones then. She slowlystopped bouncing and said, “Do you think I’m sexy” “ Beyond belief.” “Do you think my left breast is bigger than my right.” “ No, their perfect, exactly the same size.” 61

Chapter 5 “Mmm, but if they weren’t the same size would they stillturn you on……Ohh, ohh, all your love juices have just goneinto my pussy, you naughty boy.”Sometimes, we would go into Ruskin Park. Again, conveniently across the road. (The Park is situated onDenmark Hill in Camberwell, Lambeth, London, England. Itwas opened on 2 February 1907 with an area of 24 acres and in1910 a further 12 acres were added on the south side of thepark. It is named after John Ruskin, who lived near the park.)Now we lived near the park; we loved strolling around there.We also played tennis there: both of us were about the samestandard and when we played a game it was marvellous fun.For example, I would play a drop shot, she would move veryquickly to the ball and return it, I wouldn’t be able to take myeyes off her and she would win the point, “What are youdoing?” she would say. “I don’t know,” I would reply. “Oh,I’ve had enough of this” she would say and storm off to thelittle changing hut. “What have I done, you just won a point.”“I didn’t win it, you stopped playing. I’m good enough to winwithout you letting me, I mean it Roy, I’m really annoyed.”“Michelle, I swear I didn’t let you win, your too good for that.You know that I know that your too good for that.” “Why didyou stop playing then?” she said. “Because when you chasedthat ball down and I saw your determined face,” tears startedto roll down my cheeks, “and the way your figure stood inperfect balance to return, I was so in love with you I couldn’tmove.” “Come here” she said and took me in her arms and thensaid, “when you love one another like we do, it can be difficult.But it’s nice isn’t it.” We slowly walked home, along thepathway in the park, under the trees where the wind which 62

Chapter 5blew through them seemed to be making conversation. Tellingus, of all the young lovers that had passed this way before. We were invited to a party by one of Michelle’s friends, whowas also a nurse at Kings. Her apartment was off East Lane, notfar away, going towards the Elephant and Castle. When we arrived, the party was in full swing. A spaciousground floor apartment; about fifty people were there, a lot ofthem were nurses and doctors. The music was good and so wasthe vodka and tonic. We joined a group of people: John adoctor, Anabel a doctor, Elain a nurse, Dolly a doctor andothers. The conversation was interesting and most peopleseemed to know one another. Me and Michelle broke away acouple of times to dance but then seemed to come back to thesame group. As the evening drew on, I became more aware ofMichelle and John talking to each other. I heard him say “Yes,that’s OK, but what you have to understand is that you are notonly a very talented person but also a very, very beautiful girl.”I didn’t catch the rest, I was too busy digesting what he had justsaid, and I didn’t quite like the way he had said it. Then Dollyasked me to dance, Dolly was a very attractive lady herself,twenty fiveish and confident. The music slowed and we dancedclose, cheek to cheek as they say. “So you and Michelle arethinking of getting married” she said, I replied, “Not thinking,are.” We were now so close, that I was starting to get the hardon, so I said, “Thanks for the dance I’m going to have anotherdrink, do you want one?” She replied, “No thanks, I’ve still gotone” and re-joined the group. I sipped my drink and looked around. It was about11.30pm. The party was still very lively and more people hadcome. The group of people we had been with had split up,where was Michelle? Whenever you can’t find someone at aparty, there is always two places they will be, the bedroom or 63

Chapter 5the kitchen. Thankfully, I found her in the kitchen but wasconcerned that she was still talking to John. They were bothlooking at one another intensely and their conversation wasvery animated, was it the look of love, I couldn’t be sure, but Iintended to find out, I went over to them. “You look like twoyoung lovers” I said. Michelle replied, as quick as a flash, “Youmust be fucking joking, this man has always aggravated meand he’s fucking annoying me now. Roy let’s dance, so I canfeel your cock hard to my pussy and get that loving feeling backagain.” That’s my girl, I did what I was told and both mennever said a word.One summers evening, we had played tennis just the two of us, in Ruskin Park and decided to have a walk around.Michelle had read up on the park and was a mine ofinformation with regard to it. I have always loved the park andhave many good memories there. Below is information onRuskin park that you may find of interest and help you to knowof how we felt about it.(Ruskin Park is the flagship arboretum for the Borough ofLambeth with over forty species of different trees in the park,totalling about 600 trees. The borders of the park contain a widerange of shrubs that over the years have thickened to provide avaluable shelter for wildlife. Rhododendrons are plantedaround the stable block under a canopy of Silver Birch (Betulapendula). The remainder of the plantings are a mixture oflargely evergreen plants dominated by English natives such asYew (Taxus baccata), Holly (Ilex aquifolium), Ivy (Hederahelix) and Box (Buxus sempervirens). An interesting native isthe Butcher’s Broom (Ruscus aculeatus) growing around thestable block and duck pond. The leaves of this low-growing 64

Chapter 5evergreen are in fact flattened stems that in spring carry flowersin the centre. The small silver-leafed tree growing just by the gate at theKing’s College Hospital and Denmark Hill/Champion Parkroad junction is the Willow Leafed Pear (Pyrus salicifoliapendula), originally from Asia. This attractive ‘weeping’ treeproduces small inedible pear-like fruits. The very tall treenearby is a Grey Poplar (Populus canescens). The leaves havegrey-white furry undersides. These fast-growing trees have avery vigorous root system and sucker freely – look out for thesmall suckers growing up in the surrounding lawns. A fineyoung Cedar of Lebanon (Cedrus libani) has been plantednearby. At the Ferndene Road and Denmark Hill corner of the parkbeside the stable block, the path curves round past theMendelssohn sundial (see Features of Interest). At the back ofthe lawn beside the stable block is a large white Magnolia,which is striking when it flowers in late March into early April.In the lawn in front is an Indian Bean Tree (Catalpabignionoides). Due to vandalism, caused by a dog biting off thebark around the trunk, this tree has died, but a replacementIndian Bean tree was planted by volunteers in early 2010 in thelawn at the back of the portico. In winter it is covered with longpods up to 40 cm long, used by Native Americans in the past tomake flour. This is the last of all the park’s trees to come intoleaf, sometimes not until early June, and later that month it iscovered with large white flowers spotted with yellow andpurple. Near the magnolia, in a small dip in the ground, is aSweet Gum or Liquidamber (Liquidamber styraciflua), whoseleaves turn a stunning bright scarlet, red and purple in autumn.Also on this lawn are a variety of cherry trees, of which the 65

Chapter 5Friends contributed to the cost and planting; some have earlyblossom in January and February.) There was no wind, not even the slightest breeze,everything in the park was still. When you looked at the trees,it was like they were made of cardboard, not real, because ofthat special effect that is caused by no movement at all. Timehad stood still and we were the only two people in the world,we were certainly the only people in the park, I could see noone else. We stopped walking, dropped our tennis gear andfaced one another, holding hands. Not saying anything but justlooking into each other’s eyes. A single tear, slowly went downMichelle’s right cheek. I leaned forward and kissed it better.Then we fell into each other’s arms and stayed like that for awhile. We went over to the Fox on the Hill; bought some drinksand walked out to the garden and sat down, the evening wasstill warm and very pleasant. We chatted for a while and thenMichelle said, “How’s the job going at Hall Harding?” I replied, “Yes, it’s ok, I seem to be going in the right direction, youknow I was given a pay rise with more responsibility.” “Roy, if we are going to start a family when we are married,we will need all the money we can get, I can get paid maternityleave, but only for a while. I don’t want to put pressure on yourvery strong young shoulders,” she said with a face and smilethat was getting happier and happier, “but we have to thinkabout money.” I replied, “I agree, I know how you feel and what you want,marriage and two kids” she looked at me pensively. Icontinued, “and I’m also thinking about money, but what elsecan I do?” She said, “Well, there is a way we could get moremoney” I interrupted, “ No I’m sorry I’m not robbing a bank, 66

Chapter 5well I suppose I would, if you wanted me to.” She said, “Ohfuck this, let’s go home, I want my pussy sucked.” I said, “Nowwait a minute, you know that you’re going to get your pussysucked but go on, what were you going to say?” She looked atme wistfully for a while and said, “Now don’t take this thewrong way, I know you’re doing everything you can and I’mvery proud of you,” my God, I thought she’s good, she hascertainly learnt how to handle me. She continued, “but wouldyou mind if daddy helped you?” And she blushed. I had neverseen her blush before, I felt like she had put a spell on me. All Iknew was I wanted to marry this woman and have twochildren and live happily ever after. I said “Of course I don’tmind if your father has some ideas to help us. As you alreadyknow, me and your dad have talked about this and I told him,that any help like that, would be appreciated. I want to makeas much money as possible to provide us with everything wewant. You know, I come from a very poor family, I’ve seen myfather work himself nearly into the grave and for what,nothing. He was born poor and he will die poor. I will go alongwith nearly anything, if it means not ending up like that.” Just the faintest feeling, a slight move in my brain, that tinylittle seed of doubt, sown into my mind. Something I would nothave thought possible a few seconds before. Marriage and twokids at eighteen. Was that for me. No, not really. When we wentback and made love, I think she sensed something wasn’t quiteright. Can’t be sure, and I knew, that the minute I mentionedmy doubts, I was a goner. I never wanted kids: I’d seen my brothers friends choppeddown one by one by them and I had always thought, not forme. Up to now, we were having a great time; now all that wasabout to change, I never wanted kids, let alone at eighteen yearsof age. 67

Chapter 5 Then, in my mind, it all started to go downhill. I thoughteven if we part, it’s not all bad, I’ve learnt a lot in the past yearand also had a wonderful time. I’m only eighteen and have mywhole life in front of me. Then I thought of how much I lovedMichelle and wondered, how bad she would take it. Then Ithought of not seeing her again and realised that that, was notpossible. Two little girls like Michelle, would be paradise, eventwo little boys like her wouldn’t be too bad. Then a momentous feeling of love and joy, came into myheart and mind, it spread throughout my whole body and Iknew that she was the only one for me. A couple of days later, we were out with friends of Michelle.We were at a coffee bar where they played the latest sounds,opposite Camberwell green Park. There was six of us, me,another guy and four girls. Everyone was talking at once andwe were all laughing and having a good time, except, Michelle.She wasn’t miserable, but not quite keeping up, I was getting alittle bit worried about her. Not like her, still, it was a good dayand we all enjoyed one another’s company and I knew shereally liked these people and I could understand why. “Excuseus a minute” Michele said to everyone and took my arm andled me outside. “Roy, is everything ok, you don’t mind about my father doyou?” Before I could say anything, she carried on “I couldn’t ever imagine life now, without you. If you don’twant children, we don’t have to have them. You are all I want”and she started to cry and said, “I’m scared, why do we love one another so much” and then “I can’t live without you.” When she cries, I cry. So we areboth crying now. “What’s brought all this on” I said, she replied; 68

Chapter 5 “The other night, when we came back from the pub, after Ihad mentioned my dad getting you a job.” Fuck, she wasstarting to sob. “when we went back and made love, I felt youdidn’t love me anymore. You seemed different, like you weregoing to break of our engagement.” My mind was in overdrive,do I confess to her, my misgivings on family life or tell her sheis just imagining these feelings. An old saying came to mind,´what the heart don’t know, the heart don’t grieve.` Any case, Iwas totally over any misgivings now, so what was the point inaggravating this wonderful, amazing, stunning girl anymore. Isaid, “I loved you, before I ever met you. The only thing I wantin life is to marry you and have children with you. Can you justimagine, how much love we could give each other and thosechildren, the way we feel about one another. You said to meonce, when you love one another like we do, it can be difficult,but it’s nice isn’t it.” She replied, “I’m sorry, it’s just that when you are lucky enough to havea love like ours you start thinking it won’t last.” I said, “Well, when I start on your pussy tonight, I promise you,you will know how much I love you.” And from crying, shewent to laughing. Thank God. I thought, I will always begrateful to this woman for instilling in me this momentousfeeling of love, which I would not have thought was possiblefor someone like me. A revelation to the senses. We went back into the coffee bar, to be greeted by “a loverstiff,” “I didn’t hear you say anything disrespectful Roy,” “Is theengagement off?” etc. We all laughed and I looked at Michellewho was also laughing. She was back on track and so was I.Eventually the get together came to an end and we said ourfarewells. 69

Chapter 5 Michelle and me walked up Camberwell Road, pastRymans the men’s shirt shop on the left, across from there wasMaynard’s the sweet shop, next to that Kennedys’ the pie shop,further up on the same side was Woolworths and after that wasa marvellous bakery on the corner, where the proprietors, twolovely people, lived with their two children. A little girl andboy about 5 and 6 yrs. of age. From the age of seven I absolutelyloved going in there to buy a small homemade apple flan withfresh cream. Ah, those were the days. I remember walking down towards this bakery one day,with my mother when I was 5yrs. of age. Walking up towardsus was Freddie Mills, a very famous boxer at that time. Whenhe was within about twenty yards of us, his face brightened upand smiled. As he came nearer, he started to talk to my mum,who was a very attractive lady. “Oh what a lovely mum andchild” he said. He talked to her for a few minutes and then gaveme a shilling, which was quite a few bob in those days. He thensaid his goodbyes and as he continued his walk, turned andwaved to us and then carried on walking up the hill towardsRuskin Park. Just past the park were some lovely detachedhouses, not ostentatious but very classy and that is where helived. That was what it was like in them days. You could be in anewsagents or a café and talk to the England football captain orsome other famous sportsman. Now with all the moneyinvolved, they have to shut themselves away in their ivorytowers. Ok, so they have a great time but the quality of life isdiminished a little, too. Then where the road forked two ways, in the centre was TheOdeon Cinema. To the right in the fork of the road, wasColdharbour Lane, a hundred yards up there on the right, wasCrawford Road, where my home was, 8 Baldock House. To the 70

Chapter 5left of the fork in the road was Denmark Hill which led up toKings college hospital and further on to where Michelle lived.When we came to the fork in the road, Michelle said, “What alovely day, lets pop in and see your mum and dad.” Dad was working late shift, but mum was in. She hadpacked in the office cleaning, which she used to do morningand nights, a few years before. Mum opened the door andwhen she saw Michelle, her face lit up and they hugged oneanother. My mum absolutely adored Michelle and loved hercompany. I once heard mum talking to Michelle in anotherroom, saying “You know Michelle, your too good for Roy”which was stunning, because my mum thought that no one wasgood enough for me, until, Michelle came along. Michelle asusual, apologised for not popping in before now and mumchastised her. Pointing out that she only lived up the road andthen conceding that she had a tough job with difficult hours. Iknow I’ve said this many times, but I never met anyone whomet Michelle and didn’t love her. Michelle wore her heart onher sleeve. Her beauty was stunning, but with a childlikequality and when she talked to you with that little girl lost look,there was nothing else you could do, other, than be totallyinfatuated with her, and everybody was. We got back to Michelle’s apartment around seven pm. Shestarted to prepare some food and we chatted about the day.Washed, cleaned teeth and in bed by 10.30. She had to get upearly the next morning, so I had to follow suit and get down toher pussy early. Another marvellous night of sex and deepsleep. Basically, her father had suggested that there might be twoopenings with certain friends of his. She said, that her fatherbelieved I could be successful with either. He had spoken withme casually, a number of times by now and respected me 71

Chapter 5enough to have this confidence in me. Both opportunities werebased in Worcester, so, it would mean a fairly big upheaval.Totally new situation for me and Michelle would have totransfer to a hospital there. No real problem. We were youngenough to take it on and Michelle, like it or not, if she was goingto have children, then to be near her mum and dad was prettyessential. Then suddenly, out of the blue, something changed, veryslightly. Just the faintest of feelings in my mind. The shift wasso slight that I thought it was my imagination. I noticed it firstwhen we were making love, there was not quite the intensitythat there used to be but I put this down to the fact that everyrelationship eventually cools a little. Where she used to alwaysreach orgasm fully, she didn’t now always make it. In somerelationships, this would mean very little, but in ours it was adifferent story and I was confused. Because of Michell’s innateradiance, she couldn’t help attracting every man around her, sothere was always a certain unease on my part. When such a fearis combined with the feeling that you’re not being respondedto in the way you expect, things can get very edgy, very fast. She was also starting to come home later than usual, only ahalf hour or so, sometimes, an hour. She would say “I had tostay later, because so and so was not in today.” Which is areasonable explanation, but this had never happened before,well only once or twice, now it was every week. Life togetherwas still very good and I didn’t feel like saying any more aboutthis to her. One evening when she was later than usual I rangher ward and they put me through to Dolly the doctor I hadpreviously met at the party. She didn’t know where Michellewas but during the conversation mentioned that doctor SeanO’Donovan, who Michelle had, had her past difficultrelationship with, was now back at the hospital. We said our 72

Chapter 5goodbyes and I put the phone down. I was in a bad way. I saidto myself, “Don’t panic.” Which usually means, I’m going toreally fucking panic. I thought for a long time, until she camehome which was about an hour and half late. She said she hadto stay late again and was tired, she didn’t eat anything andwent to bed. We didn’t make love that night. A few nights later about six pm she rang me and said shewas going to be late, about a couple of hours. I went straightdown to the hospital, stood behind one of the cars outsidewhere I could have a clear view of the hospital gates, entrance,but could not be seen from them. After a while Michelle cameout with a man aged about 30ish. Tall, slim and good looking;dark hair and well dressed. She was smiling, both seemedhappy; they got into a car and drove off. I stood there for awhile and then decided to go to the Fox on the Hill to have adrink. Only one, not to drown my sorrows, only to think anddecide my next move. I sat at a table in the pub and decidedthat it was not possible to say nothing to her when she arrivedhome. I would tell her what I had seen and ask her to explainto me, what was going on. There would be no anger directed ather. I just wanted to know what was happening. I heard her coming up the landing stairs, key in the lock, shecame in. “Sorry I’m late darling, it’s been a long day, I’m justgoing to have a shower” and she went into the bathroom. She came into the sitting room and said “Have you eaten, I was going to make a sandwich. Do youwant one.” She was always hungry, after sex. I replied, “No thanks, I’m not hungry but I’ll have a cup of tea withyou.” I let her eat her sandwich in peace and even chatted toher, to let her digest it. I realised I was not angry with her. I wasconcerned for her and scared for me. We sat there talking aboutthe day. I looked at her beautiful face and as she bent over 73

Chapter 5talking to me, her lovely tits hanged heavy on her jumper. Herpussy, fleshy little clit, firm pussy lips and the pink underlay ofthem, surrounded by her little tight blond curly pubic hairs thatwent gingery into the soft pussy flesh that my mind knew byheart. I said, “What’s wrong love.” “What do you mean?” “When you were late the other night, I rang the hospitaland spoke to Dolly, she mentioned that Sean O’Donovan wasback at the Hospital.” I could see the panic come into her eyes,then it eased and she said, “So what, that’s not my fault, I can’t help it if he wants tocome back to the hospital.” I had no choice now, I had to be rough to get to talkingabout the situation. I said, “I went down to the hospital today and saw you come outwith him. You both seemed very happy together, then youarrive here two and half hours late and get straight under theshower. Now c’mon Michelle, what do you think I am an idiot,tell me, what the fucks going on? Don’t tell me any lies, youowe me enough to tell me the truth.” She put her face into her hands and then onto her lap. Shestayed like that crouched over for some minutes and thenstraitened up and looked at me. There were no tears, I didn’texpect any, her look was like a young child’s, who has beenfound out, raiding the goodie box. God, she looked sexy, Iwondered how I’d kept her for this long. At that moment, all Iwanted to do was get down to her pussy and start sucking. “Yes I have been seeing him.” “And he’s been fucking you.” She started to cry and said, “yes.” 74

Chapter 5 By this time I was getting the hard on and replied, “Thelucky fucker.” She gave me a quizzical look. I said, “So what doyou want to do?” She replied, “I don’t know.” So I said “Haveyou got enough energy left for us to have a good fuck,” shereplied, “I think so.” We both got up and started to kiss oneanother. It became very passionate and we were soon in bedwith me doing what I loved doing. Kissing and sucking herpussy, like she had taught me, we fucked the night away, solveproblems tomorrow. Very civilised. This type of arrangement went on for a couple of months. Igenuinely believe that Michelle loved it. She was very highlysexed and enjoyed finding out more about herself all the time.But of course, this type of arrangement couldn’t continue forever, because she wanted marriage and kids. Because she was older, OK, only by 5-6 years, but at 18 and24 it does make quite an age difference, especially when youarrive at this time of a relationship. When really, she had led.She had been leading and teaching me throughout therelationship and although I had taken over occasionally, shewas the front runner. Because of this I was truly grateful to her.I had learnt a lot from her and she was a really lovely person.Now she was in trouble. She was a lot older than me and shewas in trouble. Knowing how selfish I can be and how angry Ican be, I was surprised to find that I felt none of these emotionsand only love and concern for her. Michelle told me that he (Sean O’Donovan) was a changedman and she felt none of the intimidation from him that shehad before. The sex had always been good but he was nowmuch gentler and kinder. He was nearly thirty years of age and,wait for it, had been promoted to head of the division of hisprofession, at the hospital. Which meant he was now earningbig money. Say no more. I could see, obviously, where this was 75

Chapter 5going. I couldn’t compete. She never said this in so manywords, but that was basically it. I didn’t say anything, becauseit comes over like sour grapes, but thought ´a leopard neverchanges its spots.` Eventually we called it a day and parted. She had made herdecision and it was time to move on. I was back with mum anddad. I was in a bad way but only to be expected. Dad got methrough it and mum nearly finished me off, by always sayinghow much she loved Michelle. Everyone did. For a while, I hadthe situation, where if I went somewhere, people would bedisappointed that Michelle wasn’t with me. After Michelle, I never quite felt like that for someone everagain. I enjoyed sex, but I never ever had that 100% intensity oflove and climax again, that I experienced with Michelle.Our parting deadened something deep inside of me. That hope,for the perfect love.Don't think, that I'll get over youDon't know, if I can make it throughMy darkest days without you in my life and IDon't think, that I can face the painI'll never see your face againI close my eyes and wonder whenWill it ever endGet as close as we could beFelt that you could see through meYou read my mind you knew my lifeBecame a part of meTook for granted precious timeThought we had it on our sideBy some cruel twist of fate 76

Chapter 5I had to watch you fade awayWords, taken from ´Over you.` Album, Gabrielle Dad helped, he told me the only way to get through this wasto take one day at a time. Don’t think about anything exceptgetting through the present day. Not easy he said but trust me,I love you so much, I will get you through it. You must get through that one day. Then you will have gotthrough one day where she was not in your life. Then sevendays, then a month, then six months. You will never forget herbut you will eventually get used to living your life, without her.It’s all about habit. Good old dad. He had obviously been likethat, somewhere before. Some years later, I contacted Michelle’s father to see howshe was. Although life was now good for me, I would havebeen lying to myself, if I hadn’t thought, from time to time,about how life was treating her. I telephoned him at his antiqueshop. He was surprised but happy to hear from me. He wassuch a nice man but then the whole family was. That’s why theyhad, such a nice daughter like Michelle. We talked at somelength and he told me that after about a year, things started togo wrong. The aggressive behaviour of Sean O’Donovan hadstarted to raise its ugly head again and Michelle soon left him.She was in a bad state and they (mum and dad) got her backhome for a while until she was ok. She asked her father to findout, how I was and what I was doing and if it was possible toget back together again. Her dad employed a private detective,who reported my situation to them. My situation, made itimpossible for us to meet again, let alone get together. She isnow married with one child, a little girl, but getting divorced. 77

Chapter 5I've been alone for too long, I've been alone for too longAlways looking out for rainbows that's how I lived my lifeAlways searching for rainbows 'cos I want color in my lifeYou've been away for far too long and I've been alone for toolongI've been chasing your picture around the corners of my mindBut you keep getting farther, farther every timeWords, taken from ´alone.` Album, Gabrielle 78

6 Angela Frances Quinn *By now, I had, had enough of Hall Harding and decided to move on. I had a sequence of jobs too unimportant to mention. I remember one day, I was about nineteenyears of age, I went over to Oxford Street to interview for a job.It was in December and freezing cold. I arrived at nine am; theman said to come back at five pm. This was after he hadinterviewed all the other applicants. I walked around all day,Oxford St., Piccadilly, Regent St, Hyde Park and Knightsbridge.The only other thing that I could feel other than the cold wasmoney. Everyone around there had luxurious clothes, thewomen with their thick fur coats and the men with theirCrombie overcoats. I walked past the Dorchester Hotel andheld out my hand and clenched it, I could feel the money in theair. I went back at five pm and the man said “Oh I forgot allabout you. I gave the job to someone else.” It was time to getmy act together. New Year’s Eve. I was 19 years of age and going to enjoythe evening. I had arranged to meet a very nice girl at theLyceum ballroom in London. It was pouring of rain and I hadno umbrella as I walked down to Camberwell Green to catchthe number 36 bus to Victoria. It never came. After an hour orso I decided all was lost. No mobile phones then! Very wet andmiserable I walked back home. Dried myself, put another suiton and tried again. The rain had stopped, I had to forget about 79

Chapter 6the girl I was going to meet and decided to go to the StreathamLocarno which was an easier journey. The Locarno was a very big Edwardian building with largemarble pillars and an impressive staircase which swept downto the dance floor. A big dance floor, ten-piece band withsingers and several very attractive bars. An ideal place formeeting young ladies. My brothers were already there withtheir girlfriends and some other friends. I had a few drinks withthem and then decided to have a look around to see whatwomen were available. There was a fairly large area wherepeople stood and looked at the dance floor. The time was about11pm so there was a lot of people dancing but not more thanseven or eight actually watching. One caught my eyeimmediately, she looked about 17, slender and very beautifulwith long dark brown hair. This was the sixties and the dress she wore was very short.Legs to die for. Wowy, wow I went up to her and said “wouldyou like to dance?” Her whole person was facing the dancefloor, she only turned her head, looked me up and down andthen looked back at the dance floor before replying, “No thankyou.” I must admit her attitude did put me off, still I always didthe three asks. “Would you join me for a drink?” She turnedher head, looked me up and down and then looked back at thedance floor and said “No thanks.” I seriously thought aboutasking her for the third time but here we go “Would you like acigarette?” with the pack in my hand “Yes please” she said andnearly bit my hand of, as they say. “My names Roy” “My names Ann” “Would you like a drink to go with your cigarette” “Yes please.” 80

Chapter 6 Bingo we were on our way and life would never be the sameagain. From that day, even when things went wrong, theyalways turned out right. At this time I worked in a menswear shop, Morgan and Ball,in Victoria, London. I enjoyed going to work there because Iknew each day was going to be fun. The sales staff there werereal characters and we had a lot of laughs. One salesman there,Brian: a tall very camp man of about fifty, would be serving anold lady with socks, she would then ask for a different colour,he would say “Yes madam, I’ll just get that for you,” turn to getthe sock and at the same time with perfect timing say to us“silly old cow” and then turn and say “Ah, yes madam theseare the ones you want.” He would keep this up for about fifteenminutes and by that time we were all laughing. The oldercustomers loved him and would always ask for him. Paddy:Irish of course, was the tea boy aged forty one. Five foot three,slim as a rake and a total homosexual. Chris Bradbury: was atotal hetrosexual, his father was Egyptian and his motherEnglish. The manager Alaistair: was Irish, an articulate goodlooking man of forty seven who was also an alcoholic. Reddishhair with a fair complexion, he would sometimes disappear fortwo or three days; when this happened his lovely Irish wifewould come looking for him, bringing with her their fouryoung children. It would have been funny, if it hadn’t been sosad. Me and Ann became close friends with Chris and used togo out with him and his latest girlfriend, who, he would changeregularly every six months. He had an apartment in DerbyStreet which runs south from Curzon Street and is thereforevery convenient to all the good things in life. He’s grandfathergave him the lease, so he owned the apartment for the next 81

Chapter 6fifteen years. One of his girlfriend’s Jane was absolutelygorgeous, she had red hair and green eyes, beat that if you can. Another girlfriend who was also very attractive and wellmade with very big tits caused him some problems.Apparently, one evening while they were making love, withher on top in the ride him cowboy position, she got carriedaway, which is only to be expected in this position and tore theforeskin on his penis. He went from ecstasy to injury within asecond. I felt very sorry for him but secretly I felt he deservedit, because no one should be able to enjoy themselves like hedid. To say I was jealous of him was the understatement of theyear. Still, the penis made a full recovery and at the end of sixmonths, one girl left and another one arrived. Business asusual.I had been there for about a year, when my father became very ill and eventually died from lung cancer. The first timeI realised my father was ill was when one day I was outside ourflat and saw him walking up the road from his bus depo. Hewas clearly in trouble and out of breath. He climbed the stairsto the first floor of Baldock House and walked along towardsour flat, then he leaned on the front wall and cried. About sixweeks after, I was in our lounge when he came in pulling thecollar of his shirt away from his neck so to allow him to breathand said to mum, “Greta, I’m not going to die am I?” Shereplied “of course not Alf, sit down and I’ll make you a nicecup of tea.” I will always remember the night he died. It was about7pm, just getting dark, he couldn’t breathe so I rushed up toKings College Hospital at Hern Hill which was 5 minutes away.I ran into the reception and there were two nurses chatting to 82

Chapter 6one another. “My dad has cancer and he can’t breathe, he’sdying.” I said to them. “There is a phone box outside. You mustphone an ambulance from there.” (I’ve never met a nurse yet,that knew how to look after anybody. If you had ever been totheir homes, you’d know that they couldn’t even look afterthemselves.) Michelle was an exception to the rule, you alwaysget one now and again. I went to the phone box but there wasa man of about thirty in there. I knocked on the window andexplained the situation; he immediately said his goodbyes tothe person he was speaking too and let me make the call. After my dad died I took a week off: I felt very depressed.When I went back to work, they sacked me. They said they hadto find someone else but would give me a good reference. Thesalesman who had taken my place was quite an intelligentyoung man and offered to write a letter for me and send it toseveral shops in the west end: requesting a position on theirsales staff. I was bitter but he’s help made a difference. Also, now, Iwas with Ann and that made the biggest difference of all. Whenshe had come into my life it was like God was always on yourside, you just knew that whatever happened it was alwaysgoing to turn out good. And while I was with Ann it alwaysdid. With Ann I was able to achieve everything I had everwanted to achieve and I wanted a lot. Ann and I were slowly getting to know one another. Shespent a lot of time at 8 Baldock House. We had been togetherfor about 9 months and I obviously loved her very much, but,wasn’t sure at all about marriage. I was only twenty years ofage and quite frankly wanted to go with a lot more womenbefore ´I settled down´ as they say. As far as women areconcerned I’ve never settled down. I’m seventy years. of agenow and would still like to go with a different woman every 83

Chapter 6week, age 18- 35 maximum. But of course, I’m totally invisibleto this age of woman now. I never wanted children so marriagewas not important to me. I could sense Ann was not thinkinglike that, we had been together for nearly a year and now Annexpected some sort of commitment. One morning we were inbed together and had just made love. Ann laid back on the bedstill flushed and said, “I don’t know if I can take any more ofthis.” The love making was incredible. She seemed so slender,beautiful, vulnerable and unhappy that I didn’t think I couldtake much more either. In the afternoon, we went for a walkand as we passed Kings College hospital I asked Ann to marryme and she accepted. Although a part of me still wanted to gowith as many women as was humanly possible, the other partof me knew that Angela Frances Quinn was a beautiful, classy,intelligent lady who was a really good person. I realised thatsomeone like her only came along once in a lifetime and then,only if you were lucky. We had a white wedding at a Church in Clapham Junction.We had the reception back at my home Baldock House. Thatevening we left the reception and went to Victoria station to getthe train to Eastbourne for a three-day honeymoon, money wasshort. When we got to our train we were amazed to findwedding decorations all over it and suddenly all our friendscame out from nowhere and sprinkled confetti over us. I havealways wondered how they overtook our taxi and had time toput all those decorations up. We certainly appreciated it and itsone of those moments you always remember. Thanks. The hotel was adequate and it was nice to be alone, together,for ever! One night, after dinner, we went to a local nightclub.Ann went to the loo and as I waited for her, leaning backagainst a wall, arms crossed. Two very attractive girls came outof the loo and one came up and started snogging me. After 84

Chapter 6about a minute I gave her a gentle pat on the bum and sent heron her way and then after another minute or two Ann arrivedback. I thought mmm that’s interesting, perhaps married lifewill be ok. We lived at my mother’s flat for a while, but Ann and mumsoon started arguing in the kitchen, about the kitchen. So, wemoved out and found ourselves a one room apartment in SouthKensington, London. A bed, two chairs, a table and a tiny stove,all in one room, plus a shared bathroom. The rent was sixpounds a month which was a lot of money then but at least wewas in the middle of everything that was going on. One month, I was late with the rent, so the landlord askedme to take it round to his home in Eaton Square. The landlord,who was also the owner was a man in his late twenties. Uppercrust, but a nice enough person. When I arrived, he invited meinto his home, while he made out a receipt. A terraced house,three stories high and surprisingly spacious. The house’sinterior design and furniture was fantastic; beyond my younglower class imagination. The property in that area must havebeen worth a fortune. While I was there, he told me that when him and his wifefirst started out, they lived in the one room apartment that wewere living in. They lived there for the first two years, until theyhad filled the block with tenants. They then purchased anotherblock and shortly after, bought the house where they live now. Because of my work situation, financially we found itdifficult to live and soon fell behind with the rent again. So, wefound a cheaper place in Dulwich and as they say, did amoonlight flit. I did ring him and told him a fib. I told him thatAnn was pregnant and we had no choice other than to go backto her parents. He said I should have been more careful but toforget what I owed him and he genuinely wished us well. 85

Chapter 6Because of the circumstances, I thought that was very kind ofhim.Thurlow Park Road, Dulwich Village, South East London. Terraced house again, but we had the whole first floor andit was much cheaper. The landlady lived on the ground floor. Iremember watching the world cup final on the TV in ourkitchen, between England and Germany. It doesn’t get muchbetter than that. The landlady came up and complained aboutthe shouting and jumping up and down. Fair enough, I wasrather excited. The sitting room was carpeted wall to wall with a lovelythick red and black wool carpet. Me and Ann often made loveon it and very enjoyable it was too. One day, we were satisfyingour sexual needs when I spied out of the corner of my eye amoving object. A big black beetle. Then, once my eye hadgrown accustomed to its look I saw several more, no, a lotfucking more. Until you started to think was this a red andblack carpet after all. We started looking for somewhere else to live. At least meand Ann found out a bit more about one another, we bothdidn’t like spiders over a certain size. We looked at theproperty to rent section in the papers every day until one daywe saw a flat that seemed too good to be true. Mantilla Road,Tooting, SW17.Top floor of a three story, brand new block offlats and near, but far enough away from all amenities. Perfect.We both went around to the flat. A youngish woman answeredthe door holding a baby. “Oh, I’m so sorry, someone came tolook earlier and really liked it. So, we gave it to them.” she said.I said, “Could we just have a quick look, just to see what their 86

Chapter 6like, in case another one comes on the market.” She let us in andshowed us around. It was even better than we thought. When we had left the building Ann said, “What a shame, Ithought it was too good to be true.” I said, “Quick, give me thepaper, we haven’t lost anything yet, she hasn’t got anyauthority to give it to anyone.” We looked at the advert. Thetelephone number of the owner/landlord was there. Werushed down to the end of the road where there was atelephone box. I rang him and as luck would have it, heanswered. I said, “We have just viewed your flat and we reallylike it. It’s a lovely flat, it`s just what we want. Were bothprofessional people and have no children but the woman thatlives there said that she has given it to someone else, but youradvert says” and this ladies and gentlemen, is the bottom line,as they say. “that the first person to ring YOU will get it.” Hesaid “That’s right and you’re the first people to ring me, I`m aman of my word and I can promise you now, that you’ve gotit.” Although it was only a rented flat, it was newish and a nicesize. We felt like we had a proper home for the first time. Welived there for the next two years and really got our acttogether. When we got married I decided to do my weight training athome so I could spend more time with Ann, a few years latershe also started to do weight training. I bought some good RegParkes weights and of course they last forever. Ann boughtdumbbells more for a lady which was not Reg Parkes. Thismeant that me and Ann, weight trained together and playedtennis together, it doesn’t get much better than that. I did tellyou that I always liked things perfect. And so did Ann. That’salso what held our marriage together in later life when we hadthe usual difficulties that married couples go through. We 87

Chapter 6knew that if we went off with somebody else life would neverbe as perfect as we had it together plus our sexual compatibilitywas astounding. At this time I was at the height of my body building era andfairly bulky. In a suit I looked perhaps a stout man, I could havelooked a bit fat but when I stripped off you could see I waseleven and a half stone of solid muscles with very definedstomach muscles; I was training five nights a week. After Imarried Ann, I played a lot more tennis, three times a weektennis and three times a week weights. This reduced the bulkand defined the muscle more, so when I stripped off peoplewere surprised at how muscular I was. I then weighed ten stonenine pounds. At this time, me and Ann could not stop making love to oneanother. We would have sex first thing in the morning, beforewe got out of bed, then to work. Arrive back home andparticipate again, quick dinner and into bed as soon as possible,when the love making could go on nearly all night; weekends,at any given moment. I had to have a talk to her. I said, “Annwe have got to ease up on the love making, as it is starting toaffect my weight training.” She looked at me very attentivelyand replied, “Oh Roy, don’t be silly, come here and give me acuddle.” And we were at it again. I remember one day in particular when I never had thecorrect weight to do my squatting exercise. It was a long barwith weights on each end, you put the bar on your back andthen did Knees bends, which is called squatting. I used toperform this exercise at my club, but now wanted to do someat home. So I asked Ann if she would get onto my shouldersand be the weight. She had each wonderful beautiful thigh,because she had lovely legs, each side of my head, so the inside 88

Chapter 6of each thigh gently touched my ears while her pussy rested onthe back of my neck and her skirt went slightly over my head. I reached the ninth squat and all I could think of was thearoma of her pussy which was becoming stronger and stronger.Ann suddenly said, “Roy, I think I’m going to have an orgasm.”While still on my shoulders, I took her into the bedroom andgently plopped her on the bed. It was the first time I had neverachieved ten squats. 89

Chapter 6 90

7 Sulka *Six months before me and Ann married, while I was still at Morgan and Ball, I eventually found what I was looking for. Sulka, a shop in Bond Street: where I could learnabout the top end of the menswear business. This was a resultof the letters that had been sent out on my behalf from thesalesman who had replaced me at Morgan and Ball. On the firstday at Sulka’s, I discovered a friend of my brother John, whowas a salesman there. His name was Billie Sheehy and he didnot seem too pleased to see me. A cold wet windy day in February 1966. A long-delayedjourney on southern region to Victoria then the veryuncomfortable northern line underground and a twenty-minute walk to arrive at one of the most prestigious shops inthe world. Sulka menswear of New Bond Street. If you weren’ta millionaire/billionaire or very top celebrity, you would neverhad entered this shop. There would have been no point,everything cost a small fortune I had been a junior salesman there for about a year, learninghow to address and look after the rich and famous. A long shopwith glass cabinets and tables and chairs going along each side.Wood panelled walls and antique chandeliers. Upstairs theyhad a staff of approximately thirty people making shirts.Downstairs was the rest room where we had our tea break and 91

Chapter 7the accounts department run by Mr Bowman, a very severeman, with a staff of four girls. On the floor, we had five salesmen. Mr Woods who was themanager, Mr Oswald, in his late sixties spoke good French sowas worth being kept on for the French speaking customers,Ronnie Holland salesman and window dresser and Bill Sheehy,a very good and relaxed young salesman who couldcomfortably handle most situations, and me. That morningOssie, one of the other salesman (I’m not going to say whichone) and me were on the floor and the others were on their teabreak. A customer came into the shop; the other salesman waswith him very quickly. A purchase was made, the goodshanded over to the customer who gave cash to the salesman.The customer left the shop. The salesman casually walked overto Ossie, who had his head down writing and asked him wherehe was going for his holidays, at the same time he put the cashinto his inside pocket of his jacket; totally oblivious of mestanding in the corner of the shop behind a glass cabinet andtie stand. Until then I had never thought about stealing. One day on the shop floor we were introduced to a youngman of 18 yrs. of age and his father. The father owned a chainof top quality menswear shops up north and had brought hisson down to London, to get the best experience, at a top shoplike Sulka. He would be groomed for a couple of years atSulka`s before rejoining his dad up north and eventually takingover the family business. He was an exceptionally nice and well educated youngman, very good looking and everybody only had the highestregard for him. I was always very comfortable in my own skinbut I must admit that I did think, I wouldn’t mind being him,he really had everything. He had been at the shop for aboutnine months when one morning he didn’t turn up. Nor the next 92

Chapter 7morning. Later that day we were told that he had fallen in withfriends that had introduced him to drugs. The other evening hehad taken LSD and thought he could fly. So, had jumped offthe top of a very high building. One day I was on the shop floor looking out at the differenttypes of people walking by, there was such a range, tourists,city brokers, wealthy Arabs, in fact all the people who walkedalong New Bond Street looked wealthy. Oh there goes KennethMore the famous English actor and was that Terence Stampwho just went by, he looked a bit down: suppose he’s stillgetting over Jean Shrimpton, if you can ever get over someonelike her. When suddenly a young guy of about twenty fivecame running down Conduit Street, followed by an evenyounger policeman who was trying to catch him. Right on thecorner of where Conduit Street meets New Bond Street, he didand they fought, lefts and rights, putting the boot in wheneverpossible and really giving one another the business. No crowdsgathered around to watch in fact people crossed to the otherside of the street when going by so they wouldn’t receive apunch by mistake. They slugged it out for about five minutes and then theyoung guy hit the policeman with a terrific right hook and thepoliceman fell to the ground, the other man got on top of himand started to punch the young policeman in the face, left andright, left and right, the man was punching the policemanunmercifully. I really thought the policeman was done for andwas just beginning to think about what I should do, I couldn’twatch a young policeman beaten to death before my eyes.Then, somehow the policeman heaved the man off him andstruggled to his feet and then started to fight back with his ownrange of punches, he then miraculously got him in an arm lockand then handcuffed him. Then another policeman came and 93

Chapter 7they took the man away. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen,one minute the policeman was a goner and then he was incharge. There was a football pools syndicate at Sulka’s of eightpeople. When one of them dropped out, they asked me if Iwanted to replace him. I hesitated at first, simply because of theextra cost to my outgoings but then decided I would. The firstweek I joined we won eight thousand pounds, which splitbetween eight of us, gave me one thousand pounds. A smallfortune to a poor boy like me in the sixties. Me and Anndecided I would take some driving lessons and when I hadpassed my test we would buy a car. I failed my test and was sofed up that me and Ann decided to blow the lot on a two weekholiday in Tenerife. We chose the Europa Hotel in Playa de las Americas whichwas twelve stories high. The brochure said that the hotel hadexcellent tennis courts and that tennis players went thereregularly. So me and Ann took our tennis racquets along andwe were soon glad we had. The standard of tennis was goodand we really enjoyed playing there. Afterwards we wouldhave a drink with the players in the bar and in this way madea lot of friends quickly. The facilities and service at the hotelwere very good and because of the tennis buzz around theplace it created an air of classiness that was pleasant. Three years later the whole building collapsed, fifty peoplewere killed and over a hundred injured. Many years later whenme and Ann went back to Tenerife, we had a look around thereand saw that they had built another hotel on exactly the sameplace as where the Europe had been. A very luxurious five starGL establishment which instead of going up, the buildingswere much more spread out and only two stories high; no roomfor tennis courts! 94