Safia: Sure.1 Yusuf: You probably have many questions for me too. I’m more than happy toanswer them Hamza: Get to the point.124 Yusuf: Right. I was wondering how regular your Salah was8-Long pause whilst I tried to make a sentence without sounding stupid- Safia: Other than my occasional battles to wake for Fajr, I would consider myselfquite regular. You?7 Yusuf: Same, although I don’t have much of a problem with waking up for Fajr29I was relieved to hear that. One of the reasons I wanted to get married was to relyon someone to wake me for Fajr.81 Yusuf: I’d also like to point out that my family’s not very rich. I mean, we’re well offbut we keep an eye on where our money goes Safia: I’m not materialistic. And that’s good. I heard a saying; you should use moneylike you use a toilet – Only when you need to.83 Yusuf: That’s a nice way of putting it lol30Before I could overthink what I was writing and start feeling embarrassed, I heardHamza’s voice downstairs. He should have warned me about this so I could at leastbe prepared to answer Yusuf’s questions. I went down and motioned for Hamza tocome to the next room for a little chat.“You could have told me about this!” I said waving my phone in his face. “Look atme, I’m a wreck! I’m sweating! I think I smell.”“You always smell. Why are you so nervous?” Hamza grinned sheepishly.32“I never smell! And I don’t know, maybe because I suddenly spoke to my possiblefuture spouse?” I replied sarcastically.“But isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” Obviously Hamza wouldn’t understand.
“With a little warning!”“You stress too much.” That was undeniable. I did stress a lot and it annoyed myloved ones so much.“Tis true.” I sighed.“Your cheeks have gone pink.” Hamza told me. Really? My cheeks were pink?“I never go pink.” Blushing was one thing I could never do. My cheeks just neverchanged colour. Unless I was sick, then they went pale. I’d tried many times to pinchthem to make them go red, but always failed. The most colour I ever got on my facewas a very light pink nose.50“You like him!” Hamza teased. That was absurd. I just shook my head and ranupstairs. I did like him but not in the way Hamza was implying. Or was it in that way?Was that even possible? Was it okay if I did like him? I felt so confused!
Chapter 12.Yusuf's POVIt was time to speak to my mum. I was rather dreading it knowing that Safia wasn'treally mum's ideal daughter in law. But I had formed persuasive arguments in mymind and I felt ready to put them into use. I was waiting for my mum's drama tofinish; it wasn't a good idea to interrupt her whilst she was watching her drama. Sheusually told us off if we disturbed her.19I heard my phone making that sound telling me I have a message. In the last twodays, whenever I heard this sound I felt weirdly excited thinking it might be Safia.She didn’t speak much due to her shyness; she mostly answered my questions andhad Hamza asking her questions. I checked my phone and involuntarily smiled seeingit was indeed Safia who had sent a message.7 Safia: Asalamu’alaykum. I just wanted to ask, what are your reasons for agreeingnot to see me before the Nikah? (If we get married). You know my reasons.I had been waiting for this question. I didn't want to be completely honest with herand it made me feel a little guilty. I didn't know how I was to explain to Safia that Isaw a girl in a navy blue hijab and hoped it might be her. But then I decided whethershe was that girl or not, I liked her personality. I also knew she was decent looking,whichever girl she was. Yusuf: Wa’alykumsalaahm. You have a cool personality. Is that a sufficient enoughanswer?I wanted to add, people who are good on the inside are always beautiful on theoutside. It's all a matter of perception. I didn't say that because one, she wasn't mywife yet and two, Hamza was reading. I don't think he'd appreciate me calling hissister pretty even though it was an assumption. Hamza: Safia's blushing. 117 Safia: No I'm not! And yes that is a sufficient enough answer. Hamza: I'm receiving death threats from Safia for telling you she’s blushing. Shesaid she will rip out my rib cage and stab me with it.95
I began laughing. My mum snapped her head towards me in annoyance putting herfinger on her lips telling me to be quiet. Hamza: Now she just attacked me for telling u what she said to me. A word of adviceYusuf... Be careful. Safia may seem nice n sweet but if u annoy her, u may end upwith a couple of bruises. I now have one on my thigh caused by Safia's elbow.33I bit my lip and covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Safia really wascrazy, in a good way. I put my head back and closed my eyes praying that everythingwent smoothly. I really did find Safia compatible with myself. I had begun doingIstikhara (prayer for divine guidance) and was still awaiting a clear sign. A part of mefelt like this whole conversation and getting to know each other was a sign. But Ididn't feel satisfied enough. I wanted a sign that felt a little stronger, like an easyapproval from my mum.5Finally the annoying music played on the TV snapping me out of my conversationwith Allah. My mum's drama was over and I could speak to her. My mum got upfrom her seat.\"Mum, I need to speak to you.\"\"Later Yusuf, Javed's going to be home soon and I need to prepare dinner for him\"\"But it’s really important.\"\"Fine.\" Mum sat back down. \"You have five minutes.\"\"Mum.\" I cleared my throat. \"You know Safia.\" I whispered fearing my mum'sreaction. My mum rolled her eyes. \"She didn't get engaged that day. They rejectedthe guy, or maybe it was the other way around. Not sure. But the point is, she's notgetting married to him. I know her brother and through what he says about Safia,she seems like a very nice person.\"\"Obviously her brother will praise her. Yusuf, I'm sorry but I don't think she wouldbe able to keep you happy \"\"Why not?\"\"She's not very pretty and she's quite boring. She has no idea how to dress-\"55
\"Mum stop, please. I don't care whether she's pretty or knows how to dress. Shecertainly isn't boring, you don't even know her. Please mum, get to know her. Iassure you, you'll like her. And when you do, we can go to her house and ask herdad for her hand in marriage.\" My mum shook her head.\"No Yusuf. You're young. You don't understand. She won't be able to keep you happyin the long term.\"\"How do you know? Mum, she's religious, smart, funny, she makes delicious food,she can take care of children well, and she can take care of you! I know you're notfond of what you claim as old fashioned ways but she's different. She's workingtowards a career but she values her family. She's aware of her priorities. She willhelp you around the house.\" Safia herself had told me this. She had said that a wifeshould take care of her house. She was reminding me of what Sheikh Khalid Yasinwas saying in Saturday's talk and explained how she completely agreed with him.She also said that a man should also do some housework too because the ProphetMuhammad (Peace be upon him) used to sew and clean his own clothes. I reallyadmired the things she said.\"You mean, she will cook and clean?\" My mum asked thoughtfully.72\"Yes mum, she can help.\" I hoped my mum wasn't planning on using her as a servant.A moment later, my mum responded.13\"Okay, we'll go around her house this weekend.\"\"YES!\" I shouted and hugged my mum. She tried to wiggle away but I hugged hertighter. \"Thank you!\" I grinned.5\"But you have to give me the choice of accepting or rejecting her.\"4\"Of course! But if you reject her, you must give a valid reason.\" My mum let out asigh.\"We'll see.\" She replied and got up. “How do you even know her that well?” My mumasked turning to face me.“I’ve spoken to her through her brother.”“Hmm. I’ll go see for myself whether what you say is true.”\"So are we going Sunday?\" I asked hopeful.
\"Why not Saturday?\"\"I have to paint Maryam's room.\"\"You can do that on Sunday. We're going Saturday; I want to get it over and donewith.\" I nodded feeling uneasy at mum saying she wanted it 'over and done with.'This was my life, not a task. But out of respect, I stayed silent.8I went upstairs to my room, the place which was my escape. I looked aroundwondering what it would be like to share my room with a girl. My feelings were verymixed. A part of me couldn’t wait to have someone in my life, someone who willlove me, someone who I could confide in. Another part of me felt like I would begiving up my space and freedom. But when I thought of Safia, I almost wanted togive up my space and freedom. If she really was the way I imagined her to be, thenlife would be so blissful. I took out my phone and phoned Hamza to tell him we’d becoming over on Saturday.4“Asalamu’alaykum.”“Wa’alaykumsalaam! Safia and I were just talking about you.” Hamza said as soon ashe picked up the phone.“Liar! You were talking about him!” I heard Safia shout. Hamza had probably beenteasing her for days now.9“That’s very flattering.” I responded. “I wanted to ask, have you spoken to yourfamily yet?”“We’re waiting for uncle Yahya to come. Then we’re going to tell them.”“Oh okay. I’ve spoken to my mum. We’re coming Saturday in’sha’allah.”“That’s great! Let me just tell Safia.” Hamza moved the phone away slightly but Iheard him say, “They’re coming Saturday.” Then there was a pause and mumblingthat I couldn’t make out. “Isn’t that a good thing though?” Some more mumbling.“Okay.” Hamza put his phone against his ear again. “She’s saying it’s too soon.”“We’re not getting married on Saturday, my mum’s just coming to see her and talkto your parents.” Hamza took the phone away from his ear again. This time he musthave covered it with his hands because I couldn’t make out his mumbling either. Afew seconds later, he spoke again.1“Saturday’s fine. Look forward to seeing you.”
“You too. Asalamu’alaykum.”“Wa’alaykumsalaam.” I hung up and felt a happy feeling rush through me. Finally, Iwas getting closer to marriage. I just prayed this worked out. My mind began toponder on the possibility of seeing Safia in her house, accidentally of course. MaybeSaturday I would find out whether Safia was the girl in the navy blue hijab.27---------- For those who asked or are getting confused with the characters, here's a list withnames and ages. You don't have to remember all the characters. Some just pop upfrom time to time.2Safia – 20 years old. In second year of university.Safia’s family:Hamza – 22 years old. Safia’s brother.6Hafsa – 19 years old. Safia’s cousin.4Safia’s mum and dad – 45 to 50 years old.Uncle Yahya and Aunty Asma – Around 40 years old.Aisha – 26 years old. Safia’s older sister.Aisha’s children: Musa (6 years old), Sara (4 years old), Zidan (9 months)Zayna – 16 years old. Safia’s younger sister.3Amaan – 14 years old. Safia’s younger brother.1Faiza – 17 years old. Safia’s cousin/Hafsa’s younger sister.Samiya – 13 years old. Safia’s cousin/Hafsa’s younger sister.3Safia’s friends:Amy – 21 years old. German convert.1Layla – 21 years old. 1Yusuf – 23 years old. Just finished his Alim course. Has started training to become aplumber.5
Yusuf’s family:Aunt Juweria/Aunt Jerry – Around 45 years old. Yusuf’s mum.15Yusuf’s dad – 45 to 50 years old.3Javed – 25 years old. Yusuf’s brother.2Maryam – 15 years old. Yusuf’s sister.
Chapter 13.Safia’s POVSaturdays were becoming very eventful. I had grown a little more confident whenmessaging Yusuf. We were still asking each other lots of questions. I felt I knew himquite well and he never ceased to impress me. My family was also very happy aboutYusuf which made me feel really good about what was going on. That was untilSaturday actually came.2\"Hafsa, I'm not ready.\" I moaned.5\"That's what you said last time!\" Hafsa huffed.3\"Yeah, but this time I really mean it. I think I wanted a love story instead of amarriage. I got my cute little story and that's enough for me.\" Hafsa rolled her eyesand flicked me on my forehead. \"Ow! What was that for?\" I asked flicking her back.\"Hey! You have no right to flick me. You,\" she flicked me again, \"deserved to beflicked,\" and again, \"because your dream is finally coming true and you're freakingout.\" When she flicked me again, I grabbed her finger and bit it. Then we got into aflicking and biting fight. 12\"Stop! Flicking! Me!\" I shouted. \"Ow! You got my eye!\" I cried holding my flicked eye.Hafsa gasped.1\"I'm so sorry! Here let me take a look.\" After I'd recovered, I'd forgotten why I wasstressed. Then the sound coming from my phone reminded me. I grabbed my phoneand saw it was just good luck wishes from Layla. Disappointed it wasn't Yusuf, I putmy phone down and turned towards Hafsa.5\"As I was saying before, I don't think I'm ready.\"\"I know you like him by the way you just pounced on your phone and then lookeddisappointed and tossed it to the side. If that was Yusuf who sent a message, youreyes would go really shiny.\"\"Really? My eyes go shiny? Cool.\" I thought for a while. \"I like him but I'm not readyfor a marriage. I'm scared I might die as soon as he looks into my eyes.\"4\"Don't worry. If you die, there are plenty of other girls for him.\"62
\"Hafsa!\" I shot her an angry look throwing a tissue box at her. It was the closest thingto me.3\"See, you already can't bear thinking of him with anyone else.\" She laughed.5\"He is not the problem. The problem is, how am I going to survive being married tosomeone? I'm going to have to try to look pretty all the time even when I'm sick.And what am I going to do if I get sick? I'm sure he wouldn't be happy with his wifein bed coughing up phlegm all day. That's really unattractive.\"18\"Marriage isn't about being attractive all the time. I mean, if he got sick, would yousuddenly regret marrying him? Besides, people get sick all the time and their lovedones take care of them. Think about women when they're carrying babies and areat their most unattractive point in their lives. Yet their husbands seem to look atthem with even more love and concern than before.\"17\"You sound so much like me.\" I told Hafsa and she mocked a disgusted look on herface.\"It wasn't my intention to sound like an annoying preachy granny.\"\"I do not sound like an annoying preachy granny!\" I was thinking of a witty replywhen Amaan came in.\"Mum told me to tell you that your pasties might be burning.\" Oh no! I forgot allabout my pasties! I jumped off my bed and ran down at the speed of lightening. Iopened the oven and to my relief, they were okay. A little browner than I preferred,but okay.16\"Yusuf sent me a text, they'll be here in 10 minutes.\" Hamza informed me and all mystress and nerves rushed back. I felt like crying. I took my pasties out and let themcool while I went upstairs to get ready. I was going to meet Aunt Jerry again today,but under completely different circumstances.I opened up my wardrobe and started to go through my abayas. Faiza came andasked if I needed help. She was really good with modest fashion. She went throughmy abayas and picked out a maroon one and matched it with a creamy colouredblazer. It wasn't what I would have gone for but I trusted Faiza. She handed me amatching scarf and I was still feeling unsure. But when I tried it all on, I had to giveFaiza a huge hug. It actually looked nice and relieved my stress a little.7\"Thank you!\" I said squeezing her.
\"Of course you can. Let me just serve this.\" I put food on the dining table and textedHamza to come and collect food for the men who were sitting in the living room. Ipassed the food over to him at the door and heard a slightly deep voice talking aboutCCTVs in masjids. I was sure it was Yusuf's. But just to double check, I asked Hamza.He confirmed it was Yusuf and did a weird thing with his eyebrows to tease me. Irolled my eyes and walked back to Maryam. I poured her some food, all the whileYusuf's voice playing in my mind. I imagined that voice saying Safia and tried my bestto stop myself from grinning.27\"What's so funny?\" Maryam asked as I handed her food over to her.\"Nothing.\" At this, I found it harder to contain my smile.2\"Is it something to do with Yusuf?\" She asked teasing. I lost control and the grinspread across my face making Maryam laugh. \"I like you.\" She said as she took herfirst mouthful. That just made my smile even wider.\"How is it?\" I asked.\"Mmm! Did you make this?\" I nodded. \"Yusuf's right! Your food is delicious.\" I lookeddown shyly hearing Yusuf had complimented me to his sister. \"You're acting like ashy bride already.\" Maryam teased again and we both laughed.One by one, Zayna, Hafsa, Faiza and Samiya joined us. We all connected withMaryam very quick and we felt like she was part of us. Time flew by and before weknew it, Aunt Jerry called Maryam telling her they were getting ready to go home.\"I don't want to go. You guys are so cool!\" She told us as we made our way to thedining room.\"We don't want you to go either!\" I replied.\"Safia, I really sincerely hope that you become my sister in law.\" I felt myself getteary as Maryam said this.\"If I marry Yusuf, it will only be to become your sister in law.\" She laughed and gaveme a hug.2\"I hope I see you soon in'sha'allah.\"\"As a bride.\" Hafsa chimed in. They began to laugh as I looked away feeling myselfget hot again.+
\"Let’s go Maryam.\" Aunt Jerry said and we had to tear ourselves apart from oneanother. I stood in the dining room whilst everyone left. I sighed a content sigh andthanked Allah for the wonderful day I had.
Chapter 14.Yusuf's POVI put my head in my hands hearing exactly what I expected from mum. The criticismof Safia had begun and it made me feel awful but I couldn't do anything about it.Every time I tried to speak up, I'd get told off.5\"What were you thinking Yusuf?\" I paused to think of an answer that would be politeand wouldn't get me into trouble.\"Mum, I told you before; she's a really good girl.\"\"There are lots of good girls in the world. What about Hafsa?\"52\"What?” I asked shocked that mum would even say that. “How could you think that?We went to their house for Safia not Hafsa. I want to marry Safia. Besides, how badwould it look if we go to their house for Safia and ask for Hafsa's hand instead. That'sreally not a nice thing to do, especially because the reasons you don't like Safia arereally unfair.\"15\"They are not unfair!\"\"You don't like her because of who she is on the outside. I don't care about that.\"\"Really? You don't care at all?\" I thought for a moment. I did care, everyone cares.We would all like to marry someone pleasing to our eyes. But it wasn't as importantas how one was on the inside. 3\"I think Safia's pretty.\" I hoped that this wouldn't count as a lie. I knew Safia wasn'tbad. I'd seen her and didn't think anything bad, whichever girl she was. Luckily theface of the girl in navy blue hijab was now also fading. My mum sighed, fed up withme.+\"I don't understand why you're so crazy about this girl. What is it about her?\"\"It's not only her. You do this every time. Every single time I find a girl who seemscompatible, you say no. So this time I got to know her before telling you,\" I hung myhead feeling slightly ashamed. \"And I really like her. I want you to have an openmind; I want you to like her. How can I marry someone if you don't approve?\" Mymum rolled her eyes. I took a deep breath and began speaking the sensitive truth.
\"I understand you don't like Safia's simplicity and shyness because you want adaughter in law you can show off. Don't worry, you can show off Javed's wife in thefuture, just like you show him off to everyone.\" I looked away, my heart breaking. Ihad just indirectly admitted my feelings to my mum for the first time. I wonderedwhether she would get the message and deny it.22\"I guess you're right.\" My mum shrugged. I took in a deep breath, disappointed thatmy mum didn't get the message. Or maybe she did but didn't care. My sad paranoidthoughts were seeping into my mind again when Maryam spoke.66\"So you'll accept her?\" She asked with a hopeful expression on her face. \"Yes, I waseavesdropping.\" She said replying to my frown.\"I didn't say that. I still think you can do better Yusuf. Isn't that right Maryam?\"\"No. I like Safia! I heard you talking about Hafsa too. She's cool but Safia's coolerbecause she actually likes Yusuf. And Hafsa wants Yusuf and Safia to get marriedtoo.\" I smiled up at Maryam, grateful for her help. All my sad thoughts went awayagain as I went over the words 'Safia likes Yusuf.' It made me even happier thatMaryam liked Safia. Maybe Maryam could finally have the sister she always dreamtof. Maybe I could finally stop being Maryam's sister. I tried my best to fulfil sisterduties for Maryam which meant taking her shopping without yawning, and listeningto her talk about school without falling asleep. Being sister like was boring, but Ididn't want Maryam to feel like she was missing out on anything.38\"Maryam, I think you should leave. You're too young; you don't know anything aboutmarriage.\" My mum told her.2\"Maybe I don't know about marriage but I know about Safia. I was there when youwere asking her questions. You didn't even try to get to know her. All you did wasask about whether she'll lose weight or wear makeup or go out with her friends-\"16\"What kind of questions are those?\" I asked horrified. I dropped my head in myhands again. What must Safia have been thinking about my family?6\"I asked what I needed to know.\" I wanted my mum to approve from her own willbut feeling defeated, I had no other choice but to tell her about the Istikhara I haddone.
\"Mum, you're going to have to accept Safia. A few days ago, after performingIstikhara, I had a dream. I had asked Allah in my prayer to show me a positive sign ifSafia was the one I should marry. Then I had a dream I was somewhere whereeverything was white and bright. You were there and a friend of mine along withSafia's brother Hamza.\" My mum looked confused. \"I read that if you have a dreamwith lots of light and brightness, it is a good sign from Allah. How can we denythat?\"14\"I've heard many times of positive signs from Istikhara but when the task is carriedout, everything goes wrong.\" I got up from my seat. I was feeling angry and guilty forthe anger was directed towards my mum. Whatever happened, I should not be angryat my mum, the one who gave birth to me.\"Mummy! This isn't fair!\" Maryam moaned. \"Yusuf wants to marry Safia, Safia wantsto marry Yusuf, Safia's a good girl and she would be the best sister in law. We mightnot be lucky enough to get a better chance.\" I was shocked at Maryam's outburstand her level of maturity.19\"I'll think about it.\" My mum said and I knew that ‘thinking about it’ meant no. Inodded put my jacket on to go for a walk. I needed to cool down.4I sat on a bench in the park near my local masjid, rubbing my hands together to keepthem warm. If mum didn't approve of Safia, what would I say to her and her family?I couldn't say, I can't marry you because my mum doesn’t think you're prettyenough. I had to convince my mum to accept but I had no idea how to. I triedeverything I could. I recited Surah Yasin and prayed to Allah with all my heart to helpme. By the time I was done, it was time for Isha. I went to the masjid and prayed,trying to concentrate as much as I could, fighting all the distractions inside my head.After I was done, I went home; hoping mum had changed her mind.\"Asalamu'alaykum.\" I said to no one in particular as I entered my house. My brothergrunted something incomprehensible in response. He looked a little lost and thenspoke as if voicing his thoughts.2\"I think her family quite like you.\"\"Thank you, but why that look on your face?\"\"I don't know. You seem to fit into their family more than ours.\"\"Ouch.\" I replied. That hurt.
\"No no, I didn't mean it like that.\" Javed said putting his hands up. \"I meant it in agood way. I think you did well. They’re just your type.\" I suddenly felt like I had anepiphany.1\"Talk to mum please! She listens to anything you say.\"\"Huh?\" I forgot he didn't know mum wanted to reject Safia.\"Mum's not a huge fan of Safia. But if you try and convince her that Safia's good forme, she'll listen.\"\"Get dad to talk to her.\" He said uninterested. I shook my head.6\"We both know that will never work. Dad's petrified of mum. Even if we do get himto talk to her, and I doubt we will, she won't listen to him.\" Javed thought for amoment.14\"Fine. But you owe me!\"2\"Thanks.\" I replied. I stood waiting.\"You want me to go now?\"\"Please?\"\"Wow you're eager. You owe me twice now.\"\"Okay Rumplestiltskin.\" I sat down and waited patiently as Javed went to the kitchento talk to mum.31It must have been 10 minutes, but it felt like forever when mum finally came out.She had a wooden spoon in her hand and for a second, I was scared she was goingto beat me.144\"Javed explained to me this situation with Safia. I accept her.\" My eyes widened insurprise. She had changed her mind so quickly.27\"Thank you!\" I said, getting up from my seat and wrapping my mum in my arms.\"Okay, okay. Get off, you're suffocating me.\" My mum said and I let her go with akiss on her head. She went back to the kitchen.14\"What did you say?\" I asked Javed. It was a wonder how he managed to persuademy mum of things the rest of us were incapable of.
\"You see Yusuf, you need to learn how to speak to mum. I said Safia's the traditionalsort so she will help mum with the housework. Then when she looked unsure, I tookher hands and told her she does so much for us that it's time she shares the burden.I painted a nice picture in mum's mind of her relaxing, not having to worry aboutdinner and her cleaning the house. I said a few other things and she agreed.\" Thismade me worried.28\"And that's why mum agreed? Because she thinks Safia will come and take over allthe house chores?\" Javed just shrugged.2\"You told me to convince her and I did.\" He sat down and I went into the kitchen totalk to mum.\"If I'm going to get married to Safia, she's going to be coming here as my wife mum,not a maid.\" My mum looked offended.4\"I know that! Am I not allowed to ask for my daughter in law to help me with housechores?\"\"Of course you are but I'm just saying if she's going to live with us, please don't putpressure on her. If you need anything to be done, just ask me like you always do.\"\"Roll your sleeves up, wash your hands and start measuring that flour.\" My mumsaid pointing to the packet of flour on the opposite counter. Either she was trying tochange the subject or she was showing that she agreed. Trying to be optimistic, Iwent with the latter. I smiled and began to roll my sleeves up.\"So mum, it's a definite yes?\" I asked.\"Yes.\" She replied and I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Chapter 15.Safia's POVThey wouldn't even wait till my holidays in April. Maybe that wasn't too bad becauseI had exams not so long after the April holidays. They wanted me to get married inthe week I have off during the term. They wanted to get me married in one littleweek. Yusuf said we could have our honeymoon during my April holidays which werefor 3 weeks. But this was still all too soon. In the past week, everything wasconfirmed. I was definitely going to marry Yusuf. Yusuf's mum had come around ourhouse again with Maryam and they gave me a ring. I doubted whether I was readyand every time I really thought about being married, I felt panicky. Maybe I broughtthis all on myself; well not maybe, I certainly brought this all on myself. I was so goingto fail my exams and if I didn't fail, I wasn't going to get good grades. 13 Safia: Don't expect me to pass my exams with good grades. That's if I pass.1I wrote to Yusuf and Hamza. Everything was going so fast and it seemed like realityhad only just started hitting me. They asked if I wanted the Nikah this soon and Istupidly nodded without thinking. My mum even asked me if I wanted to wait tillsummer but Maryam looked sad so I shook my head. Why didn’t I think? Oh yes,because I was still in shock. I didn’t really expect Aunt Jerry, whose name I found outwas Juweria, to accept me. The families agreed I could stay at home whenever Iwanted but my mum spoke to me in private explaining that I shouldn’t be at homeall the time just because they said I could be. And then she talked about being a wife,she even gave me some advice which I really thought I would never hear from mymum.31Although they had kindly agreed on letting me spend a lot of time at home forstudies, I understood I was going to be a wife and I was going to have to work on mymarriage. More work. I was going to have to balance university, marriage and a sociallife. Well, maybe not a social life, never really had one of those.14 Yusuf: Why wouldn’t you pass your exams? You're a smart girl2 Safia: Too much pressure.It probably wasn’t fair to be saying this to Yusuf. It wasn’this fault. Actually it was alittle, he suggested the date. I had gotten even more confident in our little groupchat. If I was going to be his wife, he should have known what he was going to haveto be dealing with.3
Hamza: Ignore Safia. She likes to complain when she's stressed.5\"Hamza! That's enough.\" I shouted at him. \"Why are you trying your absolute bestto embarrass me in front of man that could be my future husband?\"\"Correction. A man that will be your future husband. In'sha'allah.\" It still felt weirdadmitting that. Even though we had a mini party, which I guess you could call an‘engagement,’ my mind was elsewhere. Nothing felt real and I still didn't believe thatI was getting married. How could I be getting married so quickly? I had only knownof Yusuf's existence for a month! We had only another month before the Nikah.Unbelievable.21\"We can't be completely sure, especially with the things you say to him.\" I grabbeda cushion and hugged it sighing. \"How am I going to concentrate and get good gradeswhile fulfilling my wife duties?\" I asked.\"I think you may have gotten your answer.\" Hamza said holding up his phone to me. Yusuf: I don't know how much I can help but I can definitely try. I know Arabic andI have some knowledge on Islam6\"See? I think this marriage will be even better for your education. Yusuf's an alim,quite a clever one too and he knows a lot about whatever it is you're studying.\"10\"I guess. Let me ask him.\" Safia: Do you know much about the situation in Egypt and the Ummayad Caliphateand genitive, accusative and nominative cases?39\"I actually learnt about genitive, accusative and nominative cases last year. Justchecking if he knows what it is.\" I informed Hamza.\"What is it?\"\"Fatha, khasra and dhamma in terms of Arabic grammar.\" (Arabic vowels)69\"I'm confused but please don't try and explain further or I'm going to get bored.\" Iwas about to start explaining just to annoy Hamza when Yusuf replied. Yusuf: I do keep myself updated with Egyptian politics and I remember learningabout the Ummayads a few years ago. And I have a useful book on the Ummayads.I think I learnt Arabic quite similar to how you're learning it; I do know what genitive,accusative and nominative cases are.1
A feeling of relief swept through me. I could now get help from someone close tome rather than hanging around university longer than I wanted to, gathering sourcesthat could be of help. Maybe Allah had blessed me and the timing of marriage wasgood. I was still afraid of being distracted during my exam. I got distracted quite alot, all the time. Like at that moment when Hamza was talking to me and I was justfascinated by the way Allah had written our destinies. 1\"I'm going. You're not even listening to me.\" Hamza complained, pouting.1\"Well excuse me for reflecting on a life changing event which is going to behappening quite soon.\"\"You're not reacting how any of us expected you to. You're more relaxed than Ithought you'd be.\"\"That's because I can't think straight. I'm so used to getting lost in my mind andthinking about what a marriage would be like that I really can't believe that I'mactually getting married.\"\"Talk to Hafsa, I'm not sure what I should say.\" Hamza replied awkwardly. \"You'reweird.\" He said before walking away.17\"Indeed I am.\"Later that day, after lunch, my mum handed me a bridal magazine with a sad smileon her face. Zayna, Hafsa, Faiza, Samiya and auntie Asma sat around me. That'swhen it really truly hit me, I was getting married. Seeing their faces and theatmosphere in the air, it finally felt real. This time I couldn’t zone out like I usuallydid when this panicky feeling came. I had to face it and accept it. I was gettingmarried. I was getting married to a man who I had never seen. I dropped themagazine.\"I'm getting married.\" I said aloud in shock. \"I'm actually getting married.\" AlthoughI had kind of been thinking about it a lot but I still had trouble processing it. I beganto freak out.\"Well duh. Why else are you lost in your own world all the time?\" Faiza said teasingly.
\"Because I like to daydream. And I'm tired all the time. Uni is tiring. Oh no, uni istiring and now I'm getting married. Now I'm going to be even more tired and Yusufwon't like. Will he like me? Will he love me? What if he doesn't? What if I don't lovehim?\" I looked around to see everyone's shocked face. \"I don't want to get married!\"I cried.11\"Really? You don't want to get married?” Auntie Asma asked. She was about to saysomething wise, I could feel it from the tone of her voice. “Just take a moment andreflect on everything that would happen if you were to end things with Yusuf now.\"Auntie Asma said. I did exactly that. I closed my eyes and imagined what wouldhappened if everything ended with Yusuf. To be honest I'd be heartbroken, myfamily would be upset, his family would be upset, I'd lose my friendship withMaryam, Hamza would be furious and when I thought of how Yusuf would feel, mythoughts began to straighten out a little. He would be upset too, maybe even heartbroken. I liked Yusuf and he actually liked me, and we were getting married. But Iwas still petrified.\"Are you sure he'll like me?\" I asked.\"Safia, do you trust Allah?\" Auntie asked. I nodded. \"Then everything's going to beokay in'sha'allah.\"10\"In'sha'allah.\" I closed my eyes again and prayed the 4 Quls and ayat-ul-kursi (prayersfrom the Qur'an). I took deep breaths and felt a little calmer. I picked up the weddingmagazine and after a while, I got into the whole craze of choosing a dress. I reallyliked a blue one but Zayna said I'd suit the green one. I wanted to wear a white dressbut mum said I could wear one for my Walima. All the dresses were so expensive.My mum laughed when I told her that and she said that this was the normal price ofwedding dresses. She told me not to worry because apparently she and dad hadbeen saving for my wedding since I was around 10. I was so flattered and feltindebted to my mum. First she gave birth to me, then she raised me and now shewants to pay for my wedding. I would have protested but I didn't really have muchmoney of my own. Being a student at university made you broke. I worked one daya week on Wednesdays and that was only to pay for travel.86After about an hour, I had ripped out all the pages with the dresses I liked. My mumsaid we could pick one out after dinner or another day. We were all tired of choosinga wedding dress so we agreed we would continue with choosing the dress anotherday.1
That night I went to bed, the place where I completely lost myself in thoughts, I triedto imagine my wedding, my married life and Yusuf. I had Hamza describe him to me.According to Hamza, Yusuf was kind of tall, a bit skinny but had broad shoulders. Hiseyes were dark brown and small and his nose was smooth, a little round on the edge.That’s all Hamza said so I was imagining a guy I saw at the train station a couple ofweeks ago. He matched the description a little but he was chubby and clean shavenso in my mind, I made him slimmer, gave him a brown beard and I gave him Yusuf’svoice. That was strange thing for me to do but I needed to visualize Yusuf todaydream about him. Although most of my daydreams consisted of his voice.Sometimes I’d go over our conversation on my phone and reread all of his messagesin his voice. It was that night that I really began to feel excited. I was still petrified,but a part of me was becoming impatient to meet Yusuf. Just a month, I thought tomyself, just a month and I’m going to see him.
Chapter 16.Yusuf's POVI barely slept the night before the Nikah. Safia and I were getting married on Sundayand we had our Walima planned for Friday evening. We wanted the Nikah on aFriday, as it was Sunnah but the timing wasn’t very good because of Safia’suniversity. It would have made more sense to wait until the summer to get marriedbut the summer just seemed too far. Islamically, the sooner we got married, thebetter.69Safia's family planned the Nikah and my family planned the Walima. It was kind oftough trying to compromise with my mum. Of course she wanted to have anextravagant Nikah and Walima whereas I wanted something nice and simple. I knewSafia wanted something simple too. All in all, the planning wasn't too bad, except forthe issue of the number of guests. My mum was frustrated about me wanting toinvite no more than 50 to 60 guests. Out of those, I'd said to mum that she couldinvite 20 people. She had said 20 people were only around 4 families which wasnowhere near enough. I laughed and replied back saying if the family was like Safia's,then it would only be 1 family. She didn’t appreciate my humour and was still nothappy with me but she came around. 49I woke up on the day of my wedding after about a couple of hours of sleep. I onlymanaged to fall asleep after Fajr. Usually, I would have been exhausted but knowingthat the night that had just passed was my last night as an unmarried man made meboth scared and excited. My life was about to change, nothing would ever be thesame again. In a way that made me upset. My comfortable single life was over. Butit felt like it was about to be replaced with a better one. I'd been waiting for this dayfor so long and all my patience was about to be paid off. I jumped out of bed andshowered. I neatened my beard, shaving around the edges and trimming it a little. Iwas unsure of what to do after that. I came downstairs for breakfast.\"Asalaamu'alaykum.\" I said as I came down. Maryam got up from her seat andcrashed into me with a hug.6\"My brother's getting married today!\" She sang happily.\"Well congratulations to him.\" I replied laughing.
\"I made pancakes but they went a little wrong. They broke and aren't round butthey're still edible. I'm the last person to make you breakfast before you get married.Remember that.\" She told me as I sat down to eat. Maryam was the only one whowas fully sharing my joy. Of course everyone else was happy and looking forward toSafia moving in with us, but Maryam and I were extra happy.7\"What am I supposed to do after breakfast? When shall I wear my suit? Keep in mindthat I want to delay it as much as possible.\"\"Let me talk you through the day as far as I know. We have to get there by 4, andthen you get married when they say so, and then you see Safia when they say so andthen you go to the hall to eat when they say so.\"4\"Thank you for being so specific.\" I said sarcastically. I really didn’t know what I wassupposed to do. But I guess Maryam was right. I’d just have to go along with whatSafia’s family told me to do.\"You're welcome.\" I looked at the clock, I had 6 hours to get ready and get to Safia'shouse. That was too much time.\"We've got so long, what should we do?\" I asked.\"Mario Kart?\" I smiled and nodded. We were to play Mario Kart on my weddingday.30We played as Javed made his way to the living room. He woke up around noon likehe always did on days off.2“You’re such a kid Yusuf.” He said standing next to me as I sat on the floor engrossedin the game. “Are you sure you’re ready to get married?” Maryam spoke up for me.“I know Safia better than all of you and I know that when Safia comes, she’ll probablybe sitting here playing Mario Kart with Yusuf too.” I grinned at thought. “But I’ve gotto warn you, she’s competitive.” Javed scoffed and called for mum to bring hisbreakfast. Maryam and I played on the Wii until it was time for Zuhr.41
After that, time flew. I did my wudhu, went to the masjid, prayed and came home.Mum gave a pre wedding lecture in which she informed me of all the rules Safia hadto follow. I would have minded but Safia had asked me earlier to let her know of allthe rules of the house. Of course, all households were run differently. By the end,my mum paused before giving me a hug. I immediately hugged her back taking inthe moment. Mum rarely ever hugged me. After we pulled away, I saw tears in hereyes and I hugged her again, kissing her forehead. She pulled away blinking back hertears and told me she had to go and get ready.27Dad came next to give me his blessing. We had a brief conversation in which he toldme how happy he was with the man I had become. At least one of my parent’s wasproud of me. We then went to the masjid together for Asr salah. When we camehome, it was time for me to get dressed. I put on the uncomfortable suit and wefinally left for Safia's house. When we got to her house, weird things beganhappening in my stomach. It was probably caused by nerves mixed with excitement.As I got out of the car, I'd seen Maryam had knocked on the door which made myheart start beating fast. Mum called Maryam to stand back and I made my way totheir front yard. I got there as Uncle Yahya opened the door.\"Asalaamu'alaykum.\" We both said at the same time. He pulled me into a hug andpushed me inside telling my mum and Maryam to go to the kitchen. He told themthat Safia was still getting ready upstairs and that they could make their way to thehall soon with auntie Hajra, Safia's mum, and auntie Asma. 5I followed Uncle Yahya to the living room where all the men in the family weregathered. There were a few people I didn't recognize, cousins and family friends Iassumed.\"This is Yusuf.\" Uncle Yahya said, introducing me to the men I didn't recognize. Theygot up and shook my hands congratulating me.\"Where's Hamza?\" I asked Uncle Yahya.1\"He's in the hall helping to set everything up, not that there's much to do. Safiademanded simplicity.\" In some ways she was so much like me but in other ways, shewas completely different. She was more educated, ambitious, slightly crazy and shehad told me she was lazy and not a morning person at all. But none of that matteredto me. From everything I knew about Safia, she seemed like an amazing person.12
I sat making polite conversation with the people in the room when my dad told meit was time to go to the Masjid. Uncle Dawud, Safia’s dad, came downstairs, his eyesglazed with tears. He must have gone to get Safia’s permission for the marriage andhave her sign the papers. I shivered a little with nervousness, step one was complete.I was going to get married after Maghrib. During Maghrib salah, I was distracted soI had to try and focus extra hard. Then, when we were finished, we all sat down andit was time.2I had already given the mahr (groom's gift to bride) and tapped my foot waiting foreverything to begin. Uncle Dawud was staring at me intensely. That was probablyhis job, being Safia’s wali (father/representative). From the way he studied me, I wassuddenly frightened that he was going to speak out and stop the Nikah fromcontinuing. I was relieved when he smiled at me in approval. I snapped out of mythoughts when the imam began reciting the khutba in which he recited the threeverses of Taqwa (God-consciousness) and a couple of hadiths about marriage. Then,the imam began asking Uncle Dawud, my very near future father in law, the questionthat a wali was asked during a Nikah.7“Do you give consent to Safia Dawud’s marriage to Yusuf Suleiman for the agreedamount of marriage payment in the presence of two witnesses?” Uncle Dawudlooked a bit hesitant. My heart felt like it stopped for a moment, but then he gavehis consent. It must have been hard to get your daughter married. Uncle Dawudlooked a mixture of happy and sad. My heart beat then began to accelerate whenthe imam turned towards me. “Do you accept Safia Dawud in your marriage for theagreed amount of marriage payment?”16“I accept her in my marriage.” I said. I signed the papers the imam handed me. Hethen recited a du’a and with that, I was married. There was a roar of people laughingand congratulating each other as everyone came to hug me.1“You’re officially my brother in law now.” Hamza said grinning and giving me a bearhug.29Everything seemed blurred as I processed that I was married. Safia was now my wife.I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel but I now began to feel impatient to seeher. I wanted to see her and talk to her face to face. We made our way back to thehouse.“The women will be coming back from the hall soon, and then it’s our turn to go andeat.” Hamza told me.2
“When will I be able to see Safia? I asked.“When she comes back.” I sat counting every minute before her arrival. It was halfan hour of torture before a female voice finally shouted.“We’re back!” I shot up in my seat and looked over at Hamza. He did that weirdeyebrow thing teasingly and I slumped down back into the sofa, feelingembarrassed. I hoped nobody else saw that reaction. I wanted to see Safia!18A few more agonizing moments passed as I sat fidgeting with my hands.“Time to meet your wife.” I looked up to see Hamza’s cheeky face. I got up andfollowed him out of the door. We went upstairs and stopped before a room which Iguessed to be Safia’s. Hamza knocked.“Safia, Yusuf’s here. Are you ready?” He asked.42“Wait, let me get out first.” A woman’s voice said. As I waited, the image of the girlin the navy blue hijab came into my head again. I had tried to forget it so much butthere was a constant worry. That thing I felt when I saw her, I wanted to keep lookingat her. What if that girl was Hafsa? What if I got that feeling every time I saw Hafsa?The image of the girl was fading, but the remembrance of that feeling wasn’t. I shookmy head slightly, telling myself that Safia was wonderful and I was going to love her.But the worry remained.A girl came out of Safia’s room and scurried past us. Then Hamza motioned for meto go in. I looked down and entered the room. I heard Hamza close the door behindme while my gaze was still fixed on the ground. Then I took a deep breath and lookedup to see Safia properly for the first time.82--Author's note:I don't really know how a Nikah is performed. I've only ever seen the woman's side.If I've made any mistakes, please let me know so I can edit it. Thank you my awesomesisters and brothers.
Chapter 17.Safia's POV\"Seriously Safia? You can't get up early on your wedding day?\" Aisha said standingover me.35\"I know right! I've been trying to wake her since 9.\" Hafsa added.\"It's 10 o'clock and you have tons to do so for the last time GET UP!\" I turned in mybed hugging my duvet closer to me. \"Right, Sara, Musa, today you have mypermission to jump on the bed.\" Aisha said before I saw a couple of screaming kidsrun towards my bed and start jumping all over me.3\"Ow! This is not fair. I'm being abused on my wedding day!\" I sat up on my bed. 1\"Now go shower.\"\"Why the rush?\"\"Because you're a bride! You have to shower, then dry your hair. Then thehairdresser will come, then the make up lady, then you have to get dressed. There'sso much to do, so up, NOW!\"10\"I still don't understand the rush. I couldn't even sleep until about 4 and then I wasawake for about two hours after Fajr. At least let me have some breakfast.\" I wasn'teven hungry, I just wanted to delay my shower. I was feeling cold.'Fine. Go brush your teeth and I'll get your breakfast.\" The house was so noisy, likea real wedding house. I could feel everyone's excitement. I brushed my teeth andwashed my face. Hafsa brought a couple of muffins and milk to my room forbreakfast.4\"Two's too much, I do want to fit in my dress you know.\" I said holding up themuffins.\"One's for me.\" Hafsa snatched it out of my hand.1
\"I thought I was getting special treatment being the bride and all.\" Hafsa licked themuffin and handed it back to me. \"Gross.\" She shrugged and bit into it. I ate mymuffin complaining to Hafsa about how Amy couldn't make it. She had told me lastweek that she had university and she couldn't afford to miss any of her lecturesbecause it was her last year. She was going to be here through Skype but that wasn'tsatisfying for me. I wanted her here in person. As selfish as it sounds, wasn't mywedding more important than a couple of days of uni? It wasn't completely her fault,I did give her a short notice. Well, thank Allah for technology like a laptop with thingslike Skype. After I was done with breakfast, I went to shower. Then I told Hafsa todry my hair. Surely it was okay for me to get spoiled and pampered on my weddingday. Half way through Hafsa drying my hair I jumped up and squealed,4\"I'm getting married!\"\"How many times are you going to say that?\" Hafsa moaned. She was right, I'd beensaying this constantly for the past month. I sat back down for Hafsa to finish dryingmy hair with a silly grin on my face. I pictured how I was going to look as a bride.\"I hope I look good.\"\"You looked amazing with the dress on, I'm sure you'll look even more amazing withthe hair and make up to go with it.\"\"Hafsa, I'm so excited. I can't wait to see the mirror once I'm all decorated.\"\"I'm surprised you're not freaking out.\"\"That's because I'm not thinking of Pirate, I'm thinking about all the glamour of mywedding instead.\"4\"Pah, glamour. You refused to get a stage in the hall and you refused any decorationsthat had lights. That doesn't sound glamorous. As for Yusuf, you don't have to saypirate any more because he's going to be your husband in,\" Hafsa paused to checkthe time. \"6 or 7 hours.\"\"Don't talk about him. I told you thinking of him gives me a tummy ache.\"5\"That's worrying. Thinking of him should give you butterflies not a tummy ache.\"3\"It's from the nerves. Every time I think of him, I ask myself, what if he doesn't findme pretty? Then I feel panicky and want to stop this madness.\"
\"Your marriage is not madness Safia. And I am completely and utterly positive thathe will like what he sees when he sees you. I'm sure his eyes will pop out and thenyou'll have to lovingly stick them back in.\"13\"Hafsa, I don't know what you meant by that, but I'm taking it literally and the imageis highly disturbing.\" We began to laugh as she combed my hair. Then we waited forthe hairdresser to arrive. I ate some more and was told off for eating junk.Apparently, a bride doesn't make fish and chips for herself on her wedding day. So Imade it and I made some for Amaan and I sneaked up into my room with himfollowing me. Then we sat together and talked as we ate. I refused to talk aboutmyself and had Amaan to talk about himself and school. Even boys needed to havesomeone to talk to, who better than his sister.2\"Will this be the last time we talk like this?\" He asked me with sad eyes. I threw myarms around him.\"No! Of course not! I will always be here for you. No pirate can come between us.\"\"Pirate?\" I hadn't really told Amaan about the code names, he was too young.\"I mean, Yusuf.\" I said awkwardly.\"Oh! So this whole time you've been whispering about pirates to Hafsa you've beentalking about Yusuf?\"\"Not all the time, sometimes we're talking about Once Upon a Time or Pirates of theCaribbean or Peter Pan.\" I said nervously. Amaan was a smart child, I didn't wanthim to think I spoke about Yusuf as much as I actually did. In my defence, I only spokeabout Yusuf when Hamza and Hafsa prompted me to, which was often. And all I eversaid was 'he wrote this and I replied that.' And maybe I tried to read between thelines of his messages and break them apart and analyse them as if it were a piece ofliterary text. Now I could see why my family thought I was delusional.5\"Safi! The hairdresser's here!\" Aisha called.\"My name is SAFIA!\" Safi sounded like a boy's name to me. 19\"Whatever you say Safi. Can we come in?\"
\"Yeah.\" I said giving up. The hairdresser and Aisha came in and Amaan left. I askedthe hairdresser to let me pray Zuhr first so she patiently sat as my family put foodand drinks in front of her. When I was done, I saw that I had been joined by Hafsa,Faiza, Zayna, Samiya and Sara. All my girls sat around me while the hairdresserstarted on my hair. She began to pull at strands and do strange things to my precioushair.\"So I heard you didn't want any extensions?\" She asked.46\"Nope, not allowed in Islam.\"37\"Well you don't really need any so it's okay.\" She said and I felt quite proud of mythick hair. Hafsa and Zayna were sharing the iPad trying to look for some weddingnasheeds. 1\"How about Maher Zain-\"62\"No.\" I said before she could go any further. I had nothing against him but, I didn'treally like his songs. Maybe because I never actually tried to listen to them. But Iknew which nasheeds I liked and which nasheed artists I likes, I didn't needanymore.29\"You want us to put on Dawud Wharnsbey don't you?\" Hafsa asked exasperated.16\"You know me well little one.\" Hafsa rolled her eyes and clicked on a random DawudWharsnbey song. I began to sing along.1\"My Ummah, those who follow me, the future of their faith makes me worry till Icry. My brothers and sisters in Islam, will they be strong and carry on after Idie?\" Then tears began to well up in my eyes. This nasheed always had that effecton me. The way the Prophet (SAW) cried worrying for his Ummah and the futuregenerations. He cried for us. And here we were, ungrateful little things. If theProphet was to see us, what would he think? This was his Ummah and look at thestate we were in. Division and racism and pride and inequality. This wasn't what theProphet taught. A tear trickled down my eye and Hafsa stopped the nasheed.40\"I forgot that makes you cry every time.\"2\"It's good. We should cry at things like this.\" I responded.
\"What's that nasheed? It says Beautiful Story of Yusuf.\" Faiza said looking over to meand winking.\"It's about the prophet Yusuf. It's another nasheed which makes me well up withtears. It's about personal struggle and warfare.\"1\"Can I perform it for you?\" Sara asked. I laughed and nodded. Then the hairdressertold me off for moving my head. Sara cleared her throat before the performance.\"Oh its the beautiful story of Yusuf, so much to fill our lives. A lesson of forgivenessand brotherhood, you cannot...\" She had jumped straight into the chorus and hadforgotten what came next.5\"Compromise.\" That was all she knew and I was glad. The rest of the nasheed reallywas sad.\"Okay, time for some upbeat weddingy nasheeds.\" Zayna said getting a little fed upof me. She put on some nasheeds I didn't know of. I didn't like them that much butI remained silent. After what seemed like forever, the hairdresser finished my hair.1\"Do you want to take a look?\" She asked.\"No, I want to see everything all at once.\"\"What is it with you and not wanting to see things until the very last minute? Firstyour husband, now your hair.\" Faiza said and I couldn't help but laugh.4\"I don't know. I guess I like surprises. How does my hair look?\"1\"It honestly looks really good!\" \"Fantastic.\" \"So cute.\" Everyone spoke at once withbright eyes. I trusted them.\"Now, my make up?\" I asked.\"Yeah, the make up artist's coming.\" Aisha informed me. I went to get my laptop andsent Amy a message to turn her Skype on. Then when her face appeared, wegreeted each other excitedly.3\"I can't believe this is actually happening!\" She screamed. The doorbell rang.\"I think that might be the make up artist.\" A little while later, Layla walked into theroom and I left my bed to squeeze her into the biggest hug of her life.\"Safia! So good to see you! Your hair looks awesome!\"2
\"It only looks awesome because I'm awesome.\" I missed this girl. \"Tell me, how'slife? How's Sufyan?\" I asked winking.\"Sufyan and life are fine. You tell me, how's Yusuf?\" She winked back at me.\"I have no idea.\" It was true. We hadn't spoken as much as I thought we would inthe last month. It was probably because of this wedding planning. The last time Ireceived a message from him was yesterday afternoon saying 'see you tomorrowin'sha'allah.' That one message made me so scared that I hadn't replied back or eventended to my phone since.\"You're a bad wife.\"\"Hey, I'm not a wife yet. I've still got another few hours.\" We heard Amy call us.\"Safia! Layla! Stop neglecting me!\" We both laughed and sat with the laptop onLayla's lap. I told them I was going to pray before the make up lady came. When Iwas done, it wasn't long before she arrived. I ordered Samiya to put the laptop inthe corner of the room so Amy could see us and we could see her. The make up artistbegan to paint my face while the girls just chattered and laughed around me. ThenHafsa and Zayna entered dressed and ready.6\"You guys look so cute!\" I told them. That was the first time I got told off by the makeup artist. During that make up session, all the girls got ready. I got told off a lot forsmiling and talking. Every time I saw one of the girl's come dressed up, I had tocomment. Mum and auntie Asma came in to show their clothes off too. They lookedso yummy! I think by the end, the make up lady was fed up with me.5\"Done.\" She said sighing as she finished. The relief in her voice hurt a little but assoon as she left, I began to laugh.\"Turn to me Safia! I want to see your face!\" Amy said.\"Wait, let her finish her random outburst of laughter first.\" Hafsa replied.1\"I don't think she liked me.\" I said pointing to the door.\"You can't blame her.\"\"Hey, I'm the bride! Be nice to me! Anyway, how do I look?\" I asked batting myeyelashes. I walked to the laptop and bent down so Amy could see me properly.\"Amy? What do you think?\"
\"Beautiful!\" She replied after a gasp. I began to feel a little emotional.\"How long?\" I asked.\"You've got half an hour to get into your dress, that's enough time right?\"\"I think so.\" We were so wrong. Half an hour later, they were still trying to fix theembroidered scarf thing on my shoulders. I looked down at my dress and smiledhappily. Originally, I'd chosen a light blue colour with nice floral embroidery butHafsa found a darker, navy blue shade with a very similar design. At first, I wasn'ttoo sure of the colour but when I tried it on, I fell in love.43\"Why aren't you wearing any henna on your hands?\" Layla asked.\"Because it won't suit my white dress that I want to wear on my Walima and by thenthe henna will be orange or yellow.\"17\"I did do some henna on you though.\" Hafsa smiled cheekily. I gave her a warninglook. \"She asked me to make a design on her back, so I did.\"\"Ooh-\"\"Don't comment any further.\" I said to Layla before she could say something thatwas going to make me blush and sweat. I couldn't afford to sweat with all my thingson. \"It was a joke. It's fading now anyway. I think.\" After they set everything in place,it was time for jewellery. They placed everything on me as I just stood like a statue,afraid I'll ruin something if I moved.\"Now you're completely ready.\"\"Time for me to see myself?\" I asked. Everyone nodded. \"I'm going to close my eyesand you guys direct me to the mirror.\" I closed my eyes and felt hands on myshoulders pulling me somewhere. I opened my eyes, excited at what I might see.\"That's not funny. I asked you to direct me to a mirror not drag me in front of a wall.\"I said annoyed. The girls giggled which made me crack a little smile. I closed my eyesagain and was pulled towards the mirror. I opened my eyes and gasped. \"That's me?\"I squealed in disbelief.5\"You look stunning masha'allah.\" Hafsa complemented and everyone began tochatter in agreement.\"I think for the first time I might agree with you. I look quite good.\" I still couldn'tbelieve that was me. \"I look so different. I look like a bride.\"
\"No way! Really?\" Layla said sarcastically. That's when the day really started to feellike my wedding. We all played games and talked until there was a knock on thedoor. Everyone put their abayas and scarves and I got scared it might be a non-mehram. It wasn’t. First my mum and auntie Asma came. They greeted me and cried,showering me with compliments and blessings. Then they left. A little while afterthat, Hamza, Amaan and Musa came in. At first Hamza and Amaan looked shocked.Musa mimicked them and also looked shocked. Amaan hugged me andcongratulated me, not sure what else to do. Then Musa ran to me and threw hisarms around my waist. I bent down and gave him a kiss on his head. I got up andlooked around to see, Samiya, Zayna and Layla and deserted me. Even Amy wasn'ton the Skype screen any more. Amaan and Musa left before, Hamza hugged me andgave me a mumbled compliment. He looked a little emotional as he walked out thedoor, which made me want to call him back. But I didn't because right after he left,Uncle Yahya came. He raised his eyebrows showing he was surprised.9\"You look very nice masha'allah.\" He gave me a hug and left looking even moreemotional than Hamza. I was fighting back tears and had the girls that were left makeme laugh to stop any tears from escaping. It worked but I was worried because I wasstill waiting for my dad to come. I had to wait so long and I was getting impatient.When he opened the door I jumped off my bed and gave him a hug. He laughed andhugged me back. When I pulled away, he raised his eyebrows too, like uncle Yahya.Both of them had a similar way of showing when they were shocked or surprised.7\"Masha'allah, you look beautiful.\" He told me. I nodded a thank you, unable to speakknowing that my voice was going to crack. He talked for a while; all I did was nodand smile. Then he asked for my permission for the Nikah. I still couldn't get my voiceout, so I nodded silently, hoping that my nod was a sufficient enough answer. Thenhe handed me a paper to sign. I signed it with shaky hands, keeping my mind blank.I knew if I started to think, I'd over think and begin to panic. I handed the paper backto my dad and gave one of the biggest hugs I'd had given in a long time. He turnedaway without looking at me. When I looked back at Hafsa and Faiza, I saw they hadtears in their eyes too. I was now kind of half married.25\"No! You guys can't cry. You have to stop me from crying.\" Hafsa shook herself as ifshaking away all her emotion and said,\"This, Safia, is a special performance I put together for your wedding.\" Hafsa said, asshe began throwing her arms and legs everywhere. I laughed so hard I had tears.\"Stop! The whole point was to stop my tears.\" All three of us were doubled over.
“That was hilarious!” Amy said through Skype. I’d forgotten she was there. Hafsa’sface had turned a little red. She wasn’t close enough to Amy to act like that. Thismade me and Faiza laugh even more.“Safia, I forgot to put my laptop on charge and it’s about to die.” Amy said worriedly.“It’s okay. You can go. I’ll call you tonight.”“I doubt that. You’re going to be with Yusuf.” I looked away and blushed. “I’ll call yousome time tomorrow. You just enjoy the rest of the day.” I blew her a kiss and wesaid our goodbyes. I closed the laptop and was feeling sad. Suddenly the door flewopen.\"Maryam!\" I exclaimed stretching my arms out.\"Safia!\" We hugged each other. \"You look amazing!\" She told me. \"Masha'allah.\"\"You too!\" I told her. The rest of the girls came in. 1\"We've got to go to the hall to eat and meet other guests now.\" Samiya told me. 4\"Okay, let me pray Maghrib first.\" I told her. Everyone came to help me put my abayaon. \"Don't worry, I can do it.\" I said, touched by their effort. After struggling a bit, Ifelt defeated. \"Okay, one of you can help me.\" Maryam leapt to my side and beganhelping. We all prayed Maghrib together and made our way downstairs to a veryfancy car.4“Hamza told me Yusuf hired it for you. This is the car he’s going to take you homein.” Hafsa told me. Just thinking about my new ‘home’ made my tummy ache again.“So why are we riding to the hall in it?”“Because you’re the bride.”“All the men are at the masjid, who’s going to drive us?”8“Auntie Asma’s going to drive that car, Aisha’s going to drive that car,” She saidpointing to different decorated cars. “And one of Yusuf’s aunts is going to drive thisone. You, Maryam, Aunt Jerry and I are going in this beauty.” She said admiring thecar. Then a cute short woman came over to us, her heels clicking as she walked.“You must be Safia.” She said to me. I nodded. “Let’s go.”
I was so glad to be between Maryam and Hafsa on the journey. The whole time theywere whispering stupid things into my ears making me laugh. When we reached thehall, Hafsa and Maryam had to actually help me out of the car and inside the hallbecause of my heavy dress and heels.“These heels are killing me.” I complained.“They’re tiny!”“But they hurt.” I wasn't used to it.There was a fancy sofa against the wall. I guess it wasn't a stage so it was okay. I satdown and different people sat next to me taking pictures. I was so happy when Saracame and hugged me so tight I fell over. She got told off and was about to cry but Itold her she was the most beautiful princess in the room. That made her smile andshe hugged me again, lighter this time. Then her cute little dress got tangled in mine.Aisha was about to tell her off again when I held up my hand saying everything wasfine. When we untangled her dress from my embroidery. My dress was okay but itleft a little hole in hers. She didn't notice it thankfully otherwise she would havethrown a tantrum. When Zayna finally came, I couldn't keep it in much longer.“Where’s the food?” I asked her impatiently. “I'm hungry.”“You’re a bride, you’re not supposed to be hungry.”9“Being a bride doesn't mean you stop being a human for a day. Go ask when I caneat and then report back to me.” She did as she was told. As soon as the camerasstopped flashing and I was surrounded by my favourite people again, I checked myphone.1 Hamza: Congratulations! Ur officially married!14I let out a little scream.“What?” Someone asked.“I'm really married now. I'm not getting married, I am married!” They all starteddoing their own weird screams and awkwardly hugged me, careful not to ruinanything I was wearing. Then they gave each other nice comfortable hugs, not caringif it ruined the way they looked. “The pictures are over, why don’t I get a hug likethat?”1
“Because Yusuf still has to see you.” Faiza said in a happy voice. I took a deep breathand tried the same tactic that had helped me survive this far in the day. I was tryingto forget about it. I needed a distraction.“Food! Where’s the food?”6“Oh yeah, they’ll bring it over to you.” Zayna said. Wow, I was getting my foodbrought to me? I liked the sound of that. A short while later, there was delicioussteaming hot food placed in front of me. But my appetite had gone. The nerves ofseeing Yusuf for the first time were taking over. I was more worried about hisperception of me rather than what I was going to think of him. I nibbled on my fooda little then I waited for what was supposed to happen next. I didn't really know.Aisha came to me whilst I was zoned out thinking of Amy. I didn't get a picture withher. It was all that stupid ex fiancé and his family. That’s why she couldn't be herewith me today.10“Let me help you put your abaya on. We’re going back and then the men are goingto come and eat.” I got up and let Aisha dress me like I was a little child.I was taking deep breaths the whole way home.“We’re back!” Auntie Asma said to uncle Yahya who was standing outside the livingroom door waiting for us. He smiled at her and I could see how much he loved her.It just showed through his eyes. I wondered if Yusuf’s love for me would show likethat. I wondered if he would love me at all.“Safia, go upstairs and fix yourself a little, Yusuf’s coming to see you.” I nodded andlet everyone lead me to my room.Everyone was excited but me, I was just nervous. I took my abaya and hijab off. Aishaand Faiza brushed me down slightly.12“Perfect, let’s go.” Aisha said and they all left. I grabbed onto Layla’s arm becauseshe was the closest to me.“Don’t leave me yet.” I begged her. So she stayed in and we stood on silence.
The moment I'd been anticipating for so long now, was finally here. I heard a coupleof footsteps approaching, stopping right outside my door. I began to feel panickyagain. Layla tried to calm me down and fix a little piece of my hair. She was sayingcomforting words which I couldn't make out with all the noise in my mind. I wasabout to see my husband, the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.There was a knock on the door which made me jump.33\"Safia, Yusuf's here. Are you ready?\" Hamza asked. I shook my head viciously holdingeven tighter onto Layla's arm.\"I'm not ready! Help me.\" I whispered desperately to Layla.\"Wait, let me get out first.\" Layla said completely ignoring me.1\"Layla!\" I whisper shouted.2\"It's going to be fine.\" Layla promised as she shook her arm out of my grip and ranout of the room. I glanced at the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I still couldn'tbelieve that girl in the mirror was me. The sound of the door opening caused me tojump yet again.1That's when he stepped in. I froze. There he was, standing in front of me. My mindwas too full of thoughts to process anything. At first he stared at the ground, thenup at me. He just looked at me with a blank expression for a while. All sorts of voicesand sentences ran through my head. 'That's Yusuf.’ ‘He's nothing like I imaginedhim.’ ‘He doesn't like me.’ ‘Why is he looking at me like that?'6All my thoughts disappeared when he smiled at me. That was the first time myhusband smiled at me. I took in his looks. He was a fair man with nice small browneyes with a little glint in them. His nose was smooth and slightly rounded at the tip.I dared to look down to his lips. They were thin, with a very light pink colour,surrounded my soft brown hair. Above the lips was a very nice thin moustache andon his jaws and chin, was the beard I remembered. It looked even browner andsofter than when I had last seen it. I looked up at his eyes again and then above. Onhis head was dark brown hair which looked even softer than his beard. I immediatelyhad a temptation to stroke it. I tried to shake the feeling off as if it was a haram one,something I was so used to doing. But it then truly settled in my brain that this manwas my husband. I was allowed to stroke his hair. I looked at his face again. He wasn'toutstandingly handsome, but within a few seconds of his presence, I was alreadyseverely attracted to him.164
--Author's note:This is the longest chapter I have ever written. I'm so proud of myself. And it was anearly update! I'll update the next chapter as soon as I can in'sha'allah. Again, thankyou so much for reading, voting and all your lovely comments. Even the angrycomments are flattering, lol.
Chapter 18.Yusuf’s POV5There she was, standing still. Upon my eyes connecting with hers, all the worries ofthe navy blue and floral hijab girls disappeared. There was something about herwhich was stunning. I couldn’t even recognize her at first, but then, when I let myeyes wonder over her face a little, I knew it was her. I smiled seeing she was wearingnavy blue again. Her gaze tore away from my eyes and observed my every feature. Iwondered what she thought, I hoped she wasn’t disappointed.52I strode forward towards her. Her expression was one of nervousness and even alittle fear.2“So you’re Safia.” I drank in her appearance. She had beautifully shaped brown eyes.The nice plump outline of her face gave her some sort of youthful innocence. Herluscious lips were a dark shade of red. Immediately I was drawn in. “You’rebeautiful.” I didn’t just say because it was my duty to say so as a husband seeing hisbride for the first time, but because I really meant it. She blushed as she put herhead down, her nose going pink. I had that feeling again, from the first time I sawher. It wasn’t just her cute face, it was something else. Something about her mademe feel this way and I didn’t know what it was. I put my hand under her chin andslowly pulled it up and I felt her tense under my touch. She was so shy that it amusedme. I leaned in and pecked her forehead before I rested my forehead against hers.270“Are you okay?” I asked, my heart racing. She had gone even pinker than before andher breathing had changed. She just remained silent. “Aren’t you going to saysomething?” When she didn’t reply, I pulled back. I began to feel a little ashamed. Iwas acting too much on my emotions without thinking about what she wants. “I’msorry.” I said to her. She gave me a confused look. “Say something, please.” Shethought for a while, as if figuring out what to say.4“You look nice.” Is what she settled with. I tried to hold back my grin.23“Thank you.” I replied. I took a moment to just stare at her again. It was as if Allahhad rewarded me with this wonderful woman standing in front of me. “You talk alot more on whatsapp.” Hearing this, she bit back a smile.23“I’m sorry; I just don’t know what to say.” The way her lips moved when she spoke,it was adorable.16
“Tell me what you think of me.” I just wanted to sit and listen to her voice. I couldtell the question caught her off guard.“I think,” She paused to gather her thoughts. “You are a lot more confident thanhow I imagined you.” I laughed a little.1“Well one of us has to be otherwise this would be very awkward.”12“That’s true. And that was a compliment.” She clarified. “Men should be confident.But not cocky.” She still looked extremely nervous and shy, but it was good that I gother talking. I had expected her say unpredictable things and she was living up tothose expectations.1“So, how’s university?” I asked for the sake of continuing a conversation.5“You’re asking me about university on our wedding day? That’s the last thing I wantto think of.” I chuckled and took a step to stand closer to her. She became silentagain.3“I’m sorry, what would you like to talk about?” I pulled a bit of her fringe to the sideso I could see her eyes better. She was looking at my chest, probably to avoid mygaze. I put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. We both stayedquiet this time, with my arms wrapped around her. It was perfect, the scent of herhair, the way she dug her face into my shoulder, how she felt so warm. My phonebegan to vibrate and I had to pull away to answer it. I wasn’t very happy about that.It was Hamza.58“Dad told me to get you because the men are leaving for the hall to eat. I can’t comeand knock because all the girls have their ears pressed against the door.”129“What?”“Go and randomly open the door. They’re going to be so embarrassed.”11“Okay. Bye.”“Who was that?” Safia asked. I smiled and came close so my lips were near her ears.“It was Hamza, he said all the girls are at the door. I have to go but I want to catchthem on the way out.” I whispered so no one but Safia could hear me.2“Okay.” She whispered back.
“I’ll see you soon.” I gave her another peck on her forehead and left. Hamza hadinformed me correctly. As I opened the door, there were four girls with very guiltyexpressions on their faces. I recognized one of the girls as Hafsa, the girl in the floralscarf. I had forgotten what she looked like but remembered when she appeared infront of me at that moment. Another woman was holding Zidan, Safia’s nephew whowas with his dad all day.4“Excuse me.” I said to them and they all moved to the side. With one last glance atSafia, I walked away. The girls rushed in and closed the door behind them. I stopped,and then walked back towards the door. I wanted to see how sound proof the doorwas. That, and what Safia had to say about me.5“Zidan!” I heard Safia screaming. Then all the girls began asking questions all at once.“So what happened?”“You’re blushing, did you ki-““No they didn’t. It’s too early for that.”17“But look out how she’s blushing.”“Okay stop! All of you!” That was Safia speaking again. “No we did not… You know…Kiss. It is way too early. But I can tell you the best part.” She let out a little squeal.“He gave me the look.” Someone gasped happily.60“What look?” I couldn’t blame whoever asked this question. Even I was confused.5“The look.” Someone else tried to explain.“Huh?”“Erm… How shall I put it…” Safia said. “The look Gatsby gave Daisy.” I laughed as shequoted The Great Gatsby and walked away. I descended the stairs to see Hamzagreeting me with a raised eyebrow.34“What?” I asked.“I saw you leaning towards the door just now.”3“Don’t tell her.”13
“We’ll see. For now, let’s go.” I followed him and we drove in the hired car to thehall. As I sat in the car, I warned everyone about making a mess. I was going to betaking Safia home in the car in just a few hours. Just a few hours and she was goingto have another home, with me.“He’s already got that dreamy face on.” Javed teased from the back. I shot him aplayful glare as I looked out of the window. My mind was clouded with Safia andgratefulness to Allah for this day.8We went to the hall and I met some of my friends, some new guests and we atesome food. Nothing much happened. Once we were done with that, we left andheaded for the masjid to pray Isha. Then it was time to go back to Safia’s house. Allthe other guests had left by now, leaving family and close friends.4We entered the house and were told to wait for Safia to come down. Javed andTariq, not being Safia’s mahrams, were sitting inside the dining room drinking teawith my dad and uncle Dawud. Time went slow every time I waited for Safia. Shefinally came into the room with her girls surrounding her. That’s when I realized whatit was that I found so enchanting about Safia. She had, what I’d heard people say,noor (light) flowing from her. I didn’t really understand that statement before, butSafia made me understand it. It was as if she was so lovely and precious that she wasradiating a sense of light. I settled with the conclusion that this was the way Allahwished for me to perceive her. After all, everything I felt as a human was in thepower of Allah.58Everyone began demanding we take photos. I strongly refused but with everyoneopposing me, I had no choice but to give in. Safia stood beside me and everyone gottheir phones out. I didn’t know where to look and the flashes were confusing memore. I turned to my left at Safia who was smiling for the photos. She was clearlynew to this too as she was getting told off by her friend for not posing properly.There was so much noise in the room and I was sure no one would be able to hearme if I teased Safia a bit.2“Do you want a picture with me looking at you the way Gatsby looked at Daisy?” Iasked. I hadn’t planned to tell her I was eaves dropping but I couldn’t hide it fromher, it was fun to have something to tease her about. She looked at me with her eyeswide with shock.67“How do you know that?”
“I may or may not have been listening in on your conversation.” I awkwardlyscratched the back of my head, hoping she wouldn’t get mad. She just smiled andshook her head, facing the phones and cameras again.“Now can I have a picture with Zidan please?” Safia said moving away from me andsweeping Zidan into her arms. I watched as she held him and took pictures. Shemade him laugh so easily. She then sat on the sofa and motioned for Musa and Sarato sit beside her as she took pictures with them. Then, one by one, she took pictureswith everyone in the room, including my mum. She seemed to have forgotten I wasthere as she gave attention to each individual person in the room. I, on the otherhand, couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. The way she spoke and laughed witheveryone. She showed so much love and received a lot too. My mum came and satnext to me.3“She looks good today.” My mum said. That was probably the first compliment mymum had paid her. I was hoping this was the first of many. “Are you happy?” Mymum asked.3“I can’t recall being happier.” I replied honestly.“Good. Time to take her home?”“Okay.” My mum spoke to Safia’s mum who then spread the message. When itreached Safia, she didn’t look too thrilled. She replied something back to Hafsa, andthey nodded at each other. Then another whisper went around the room. Zaynabrought down Safia’s abaya and hijab. All the men began to leave and Uncle Yahyaasked me to follow.3We were standing outside to door, the men from the dining room joining us.“Take good care of her.” Hamza told me.“Of course.” I replied. A little while later, Safia came out dressed in her black abayaand hijab. Hamza and Hafsa ran upstairs and brought down a big suitcase.“Packed with love, from me and Layla.” Hafsa said, tapping the suitcase.3“Thank you.” Safia was close to tears. “No hugs, no crying, no goodbyes. I’ll be backsoon.” She said and everyone just nodded. Uncle Yahya picked up the suitcase and Iquickly took it out of his hands.3
“It’s okay, I’ve got it.” I took it to the car and stuffed it inside the boot. Safia washanded her handbag as her family walked her to the car. I opened the car door forher. Her dad kissed her head before she got in. I got in after her and saw she wasblinking back tears.5“I’ll be back soon.” She said rolling down the window, her voice cracking slightly.“Are you ready?” I asked turning the engine on. She nodded and waved as we beganto drive.The journey was a short one even though I took a longer route so my family reachedhome before me. They wanted to be home to greet her. Safia remained quiet thewhole way. I didn’t say anything, afraid she might cry. I parked in front of my house,got out of the car and rushed to the other side to open the door for Safia but I sawshe was already out too. I closed the door for her and locked the car. I slipped myfingers through hers and gripped her hand as I led her to her new home. Her handwas soft and small compared to mine. Maryam opened the door as I’d expected.21“Asalamu'alaykum and welcome!” She beamed and Safia grinned, replying to hersalaam. Maryam took Safia’s handbag and held her other hand. dragging her inside.She took us to the living room and ordered us to sit down. She sat next to Safia andbegan telling her everything she thought Safia needed to know.“So this is the living room. There’s the kitchen. There’s a bathroom here, past thekitchen and there’s one upstairs. The room where guests come and sit is next door.Yusuf will show you your room and I’ll show you mine. You’re welcome to come tomy room any time. We converted the loft into a bedroom for Javed, so don’t gothere obviously. And now the most interesting part,” Maryam pointed next to theTV. “That’s the Nitendo Wii. I hope you’ll play it with me.”“Of course. In’sha’allah.” Maryam and Safia continued to chat as I watched onceagain. Mum brought tea and biscuits for us.“Would you like dinner?”“No aunty, jazak’allah.”“Shouldn't you call her mum now?” I asked. I looked over at mum who didn’t looktoo happy. She uneasily nodded.19
“Okay mum.” Safia said shyly. Dad came and talked to Safia. They got on very well.Soon Safia, Maryam, Dad and I were all talking and laughing. This went on for a longtime before mum came in and told me to show Safia her new bedroom. I wasnervous leading her up the stairs so I could only imagine how scared and nervousshe must have been. When she was inside, I sent Maryam to accompany her as Iwent to get her suitcase out of the car. I came back and dumped it on the floor, itwas heavy. Maryam took it as a sign to leave and close the door on her way out.“Do you want to start unpacking or are you going to do that tomorrow?” I asked.“I need my pajamas so I’ll start today and finish tomorrow.” Her abaya and hijabwere off again. I sat on the bed as she bent down to open the suitcase. As sheopened it, the colour drained from her face. I peaked into the suitcase and saw someinappropriate pieces of clothing. She saw me and closed the suitcase with a thud.119“Hafsa and Layla think they're very funny.” She said, the colour of pink seepingthrough her nose and cheeks again. I stopped myself from laughing at theembarrassment on Safia’s face.4“Would you like me to give you some privacy?” I offered.“Yes please.” I got up to take my pajamas out. I opened the part of the new wardrobeI kept empty for her.“You can put your clothes in here.” I told her. I went to shower and get ready forbed.When I returned, there were some abayas on the bed and the inappropriate clotheshad been hidden. There was a panicked expression on Safia’s face.7“Are you okay?”“Hafsa and Layla didn’t pack my pajamas.” She said under her breath. “I have somejogging bottoms which I wear under my abayas, can I ask Maryam for a top.” Shemumbled. I tried not to laugh again. I opened up my wardrobe and found thesmallest shirt I had.15“Wear this.” She opened her mouth in protest but then closed it again. She thankedme as she sat in front of her dressing table and began to pull out the pins in her hair.“Here, let me help you.” Once we were done, her curled hair flowed out and reachedher waist. She turned around and looked so cute, still panicked and embarrassed.20
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