Allan_and_Barbara_Pease_-_Body_Language_The_Definitive_Book

The M ing were significantly greater in b other person than when the participoccurred much more frequently during suits demonstrate that the more socia often people will laugh and the long Humour Sells Karen Machleit, professor of market Cincinnati's College of Business Ad adding humour to advertisements incre humour makes it more likely that co advertiser's claims and increases source ad with a famous person becomes even The Permanent Down-Mouth The opposite to pulling up the corner happiness is pulling both corners d Down-Mouth expression. This is done unhappy, despondent, depressed, an nately, if a person holds these negati their lifetime, the corners of the mou nent down position. In later life, this can give a person a bulldog. Studies show that we s people who have this expression, giv and avoid them when they are walking over that the Down-Mouth has cre practisesmiling regularly, which will lookinglike an angry canine in later li more positive. It will also help you av dren and being thought of as a grump

Magic of Smiles and Laughter both situations involvingpant was alone. Laughter social interaction. These al a situation is, the moreger each laugh will last.ting at the University ofdministration, found thateases sales. She found that onsumers will accept an credibility, so that a funnyn more readily accepted.h rs of the mouth to show downward to show the e by the person who feelsngry or tense. Unfortu-ive emotions throughoututh will set into a perma- an appearance similar tostand further away fromve them less eye contact g towards us. If you dis-ept into your repertoire, not only help you avoidife, but will make you feelvoid frightening little chil- py old cow. 85

The Definitive Book of Bod The Down-Mouth facial feature. Our in with aSmiling Advice FoResearch by Marvin HBoston University has rmore in the presence offriendly and unfriendlywill smile only aroundtions. This research shows thboth social and businessappear to be subordinunsmiling men. Some peis the result of womensubordinate roles, but oeight weeks, baby girlsprobably inborn as oppois that smiling fits neatpacifiers and nurturers.authoritative as a man;look less authoritative.86

dy Language h expression can become a permanent ntuition tells us to stay away from those Down-Mouth expression.or WomenHecht and Marianne La France fromrevealed how subordinate people smile dominant and superior people, in bothy situations, whereas superior people subordinate people in friendly situa- hat women smile far more than men in s situations, which can make a womannate or weak in an encounter with eople claim that women's extra smiling historically being placed by men intoother research shows that by the age of smile far more than baby boys, so it's osed to learned. The likely explanationtly into women's evolutionary role as It doesn't mean a woman can't be as ; but the extra smiling can make her

The Ma Women's extra smiling is hardwired into the bSocial psychologist Dr Nancy Henleywoman's smile as 'her badge of appeused to placate a more powerful malthat, in social encounters, women sversus 67% for men and that womenreturn smiles from the opposite sex.photographs of women showing happwere rated for attractiveness by 257 rewith the sad expressions were considPictures of unsmiling women wereunhappiness while pictures of unsmilsign of dominance. The lessons hereless when dealing with dominant menthe amount of smiling that men do.more persuasive with women, they ncontexts.Laughter In LoveRobert Provine found that in courtshido most of the laughing and smilingthese contexts is used as a way of defully a couple is likely to bond in a rthe more he can make her laugh, thefind him. This is because the abilityperceived as a dominant trait and wmales, while males prefer subordinatround that a subordinate person will rior person and the superior person laugh - but without laughing himselfing his superiority.

agic of Smiles and Laughter s probably brain.y, at UCLA, described aeasement' and it is often le. Her research showed smile 87% of the timen are 26% more likely to An experiment using 15py, sad and neutral faces espondents. The womendered the least attractive. decoded as a sign of ling men were seen as a are for women to smilen in business or to mirror And if men want to beneed to smile more in all ip, it's also women whog, not men. Laughing in etermining how success-relationship. Simply put, more attractive she will to make others laugh iswomen prefer dominant te females. Provine also laugh to appease a supe-n will make subordinatesf — as a way of maintain- 87

The Definitive Book of Bod Studies show that wom and men are attracThis explains why havinwomen's priority list ofwoman says 'He's suchlaughing together' she ulaughing and he spent t From a man woman has a goo she tells jokes; itOn a deeper level, men sof being humorous andmen competing to tell thMany men also becomejoke-telling, especially wlaughing. Men are likelybut he isn't particularly fthe fact he has all the wmen to understand is thamost women. Fortunately88

dy Language men lough at men they're attracted to, cted to women who laugh at them.ng a sense of humour is near the top off what they look for in a man. When a a funny guy - we spent the whole night usually means that she spent the night the night making her laugh.n's perspective, saying that a od sense of humour doesn't mean t means she laughs at his jokes. seem to understand the attraction valued spend much of their time with otherhe best joke to enhance their own status. annoyed when one man dominates thewhen women are present and are also to think the joke-teller is not only a jerkfunny either, come to think of it - despitewomen in fits of laughter. The point forat humorous men look more attractive to y, you can learn to be humorous. How a woman sees a man: the picture on the left is how a woman perceives the man who d o e s n ' t make her laugh. Theright hand picture is how she sees him when he does make her laugh

The MSummaryWhen you smile att another person treturnthe smile, which causes positivethem, because of cause and effect. Sencounters will run more smoothly, lasitive outcomes and dramatically impyou make a point of regularly smilipoint where it becomes a habit. Evidence shows conclusively that smthe immune system, defend the bodisease, medicate the body, sell idemore friends and extend life. Humour

Magic of Smiles and Laughter they will almost always e feelings in both you and Studies prove that most st longer, have more pos-prove relationships when ing and laughing to the miles and laughter build ody against illness andeas, teach better, attract r heals. 89

ARM Holding the h feel more seArm Barrier SignaHiding behind a barrierearly age to protect oursobjects such as tables,whenever we found oursgrew older, this hidingand by the age of aboutiour to hide behind solidtightly across our chesarose. During our teensgesture less obvious bying the gesture with cro As we grow older, thepoint where we try to m90

Chapter 4M SIGNALS hands over the crotch makes men ecure when they feel threatened als r is a normal response we learn at an selves. As children, we hid behind solid , chairs, furniture and mother's skirt selves in a threatening situation. As we behaviour became more sophisticated t six, when it was unacceptable behav- id objects, we learned to fold our arms sts whenever a threatening situation s, we learned to make the crossed-arms relaxing our arms a little and combin- ossed legs. e arm-crossing gesture can evolve to the make it even less obvious to others. By

folding one or both arms across the that is an unconscious attempt to blo threat or undesirable circumstanc across the heart and lungs regions to p from being injured, so it's likely tha Monkeys and chimps also do it to p frontal attack. One thing's cert nervous, negative or defensive attitud fold his arms firmly on his chest, sho ened. Why Crossed Arms Can be D Research conducted in the United S Arms gesture has shown some worry volunteers was asked to attend a ser student was instructed to keep his unfolded and to take a casual, relaxed end of the lectures each student was and knowledge of the subject matter the lecturer was recorded. A second put through the same process, but instructed to keep their arms tightly f throughout the lectures. The results with the folded arms had learned and the group who kept its arms unfolded had a more critical opinion of the lec When you fold your ar credibility dramatically We conducted these same tests in 1during 6 different lectures and recorded These tests reveal that, when a listenerdoes he have more negative thoughts ab

Arm Signals chest, a barrier is formedock out what we perceiveces. The arms fold neatly protect these vital organsat arm-crossing is inborn.protect themselves from atain: when a person has ade, it's very likely he willowing that he feels threat-DetrimentalStates into the Crossed-ying results. A group ofries of lectures and each s legs uncrossed, armsd sitting position. At thes tested on his retention and his attitude towards group of volunteers wast these volunteers werefolded across their chestss showed that the groupd retained 38% less thand. The second group alsoctures and of the lecturer. rms your reduces.1989 with 1500 delegatesd almost identical results. r folds his arms, not onlybout the speaker, but he's 9I

The Definitive Book of Bodalso paying less attentioreason that training cenallow the attendees to leYes...But I'm Just 'Some people claim thbecause it's comfortablewhen you have the correa negative, defensive orcomfortable. If you'rearms will feel wrong. Remember that with amessage is also in the rece'comfortable' with yourstiffened, but studies havgestures is negative. So tyour arms under any circshow others you don't ag You may feel arm but others will tGender DifferencesMen's arms rotate slightslightly outwards. Theseto aim and throw morelbows give them a widbabies. One interestingtheir arms more open wattractive and are likelyaround aggressive or una92

dy Language on to what's being said. It's for thisntres should have chairs with arms toeave their arms uncrossed.'Comfortable' at they habitually cross their arms e. Any gesture will feel comfortableesponding attitude; that is, if you have nervous attitude, folded arms will feel having fun with your friends, foldedall body language, the meaning of the eiver, as well as the sender. You may feel arms crossed and your back and neckve shown that others' reactions to these the lesson here is clear - avoid crossing cumstances unless your intention is togree or don't want to participate.m-crossing is simply comfortable think you're not approachable. stly inwards while women's arms rotatee rotation differences have enabled men e accurately, while women's splayedder, more stable position for carrying difference is that women tend to keepwhen they are around men they find to fold their arms across their breasts attractive men.

Inwar men t wome armsCrossed-Arms-on-ChestBoth arms are folded together across thput a barrier between the person andthey don't like. There are many armwe'll discuss here the most common oCrossed-Arms-on-Chest is universalsame defensive or negative meaning acommonly seen among strangers in puor cafeteria lines, elevators or anywhertain or insecure. Crossed he's not you're n

Arm Signalsrd rotating arms allowto throw accurately;en's outward rotating make for better carryinghe chest as an attempt tod someone or somethingm-folding positions andones you're likely to see. and is decoded with thealmost everywhere. It isublic meetings, in queuesre that people feel uncer-d-Arms-on-Chest: coming out andnot coming in 93

The Definitive Book of BodyWe attended a meeting ofheld on the cutting downers sat to one side of t'greenies', sat on the othwith their arms crossed atincreased to 90% of thaddressed the audience, adid it when the 'greenies'will take an arms-foldedwhat they're hearing. Mtheir message to their audcrossed-arms position ofknow that this gesture memove their audience intochange their attitude from When you see someonereasonable to assume thawhich they disagree. It mof argument even thoughing with you. The fact isthan words. As long as som position, a negYour objective should betheir arms and to try to mposition. The attitude cataining the gesture forcesSolutionA simple but effective wation is to give the listensomething to do. Giving t94

Language our local council where a debate was of trees by developers. The develop- the room and their opponents, the her. About half those attending sat t the opening of the meeting and this he 'greenies' when the developers and almost 100% of the developers spoke. This shows how most peopled position when they disagree withMany speakers fail to communicate dience because they haven't seen the their listeners. Experienced speakerseans a good 'ice breaker' is needed too a more receptive position that willm negative to positive. e take the arms-crossed position, it'sat you may have said something withmay be pointless continuing your lineh the person could be verbally agree-s that body language is more honestmeone holds an arms-folded gative attitude will persist. to try to work out why they crossedmove the person into a more receptiveauses the gesture to occur and main- the attitude to remain.ay of breaking the arms-folded posi-ner something to hold or give them them a pen, book, brochure, sample

written test forces them to unfoldforward. This moves them into a mo therefore, a more open attitude. Askforward to look at a visual presentationtive means of opening the arms-foldedalso lean forward with your palms up ahave a question...what would you likeyour opinion?' You then sit or lean batheir turn to speak. By using your palmthem that you would like them to be opthat's what you're being. Why am I holding all these pens, penc asked the customer, who began to lo Xmas tree. I'll come to that later,' saSalespeople and negotiators are often tsafer not to proceed with the presentatiountil the prospect's reason for folding hMore often than not, buyers have hiddesalespeople never discover because thbuyer's arms-folded cluster, signalling thative about something.Reinforced Arm-CrossingIf a person has clenched fists as well acluster, called Fists-Clenched-Arm-Croswell as defensiveness. If it's combined w or clenched teeth and red face, a verbal couldhappen. A conciliatory approach what is causing it if the reason is notperson has an aggressive, attacking attit

Arm Signalsd their arms and leanore open position and, king someone to lean n can also be an effec- d position. You could and say, 'I can see you to know?' or, 'What'sack to indicate that it'sms you non-verbally tellpen and honest because cils and brochures?'ook like a decorated aid the negotiator. taught that it's usually on of a product or idea his arms is uncovered.en objections that mosthey missed seeing the hat he was feeling neg-as a full arm-cross, this ssed, shows hostility aswith a tight-lipped smilel or even physical attack h is needed to discover already apparent. This tude. 95

The Definitive Book of BodyArm-GrippingThe Double-Arm-Grip istightly gripping their uppavoid exposure of the frocan be gripped so tight twhite as blood circulationforting himself with a focommonly seen in doctowith first-time air travelshows a negative, restrainIn a courtroom, the claClenched-Arm-Crossed ptaken the Double-Arm-G96

y Language Fists-Clenched-Arms- Crossed shows a hostile attitude exists s characterised by the person's hands per arms to reinforce themselves and ont of the body. Sometimes the arms hat the fingers and knuckles can turn n is cut off. It's a person's way of com-orm of self-hugging. Arm-gripping is ors' and dentists' waiting rooms or llers who are waiting for lift-off. It ned attitude. The Double-Arm-Grip: feeling insecure and not buying what you're selling aimant may be seen using a Fists- pose while the defendant may haveGrip position.

The Boss vs The StaffStatus can influence arm-folding gesturmake his superiority felt by not foldineffect, 'I'm not afraid, so I'll keep my bble.' Let's say, for example, that at a cothe general manager is introduced toplaying greeted them with a Palm-Dowback from them - a yard away (1 methis side or behind his back in the Prinposition (superiority), or with one or b(non-involvement). He rarely folds his aas not to show the slightest hint of ner Conversely, after shaking hands wemployees may take full or partialbecause of their apprehension about bthe company's top person. Both the genew employees feel comfortable withclusters as each is signalling his status, rwhat happens when the general managand-coming male who is also a supereven signal that he is as important asThe likely outcome is that, after thedominant handshake, the younger execfold gesture with both thumbs pointing Thumb but he pretty c

Arm Signals res. A superior type can ng his arms, saying, in body open and vulnera- ompany social function, several new employees.wn handshake, he stands tre) - with his hands bynce Philip Palm-in-Palmboth hands in his pocket arms across his chest so rvousness.with the boss, the new arm-crossing positionsbeing in the presence of eneral manager and the their respective gesture relative to the other. But ger meets a young, up- rior type and who may s the general manager? two give each other a cutive may take an arm- g upwards. bs-Up: defensive, still thinks he's cool 97

The Definitive Book of BodThis gesture has the ashowing that he's feelinggestures with his thumbswe've already discussed,showing others we havfolded arms still gives a Someone who is feelinsame time will sit in a syside of their body is a petense muscle tone and lwhereas a person who itake an asymmetrical pdoesn't mirror the otherGetting theThumbWhen you're presentinThumbs-Up-Arms-Crosspresentation and is clussignals you can move comcommitment. On the othtation the other persoCrossed position and htrouble by attempting toquestions to try to uncsomeone says 'no' to achange their mind withoability to read body landecision before it is verbalternative course of act When you ca you can t98

dy Language arms-crossed plus both thumbs upg 'cool' and in control. As he talks, hes to emphasise points he is making, Asd, the thumbs-up gesture is a way of ve a self-confident attitude and the feeling of protection.ng defensive but also submissive at theymmetrical position, which means oneerfect mirror of the other. They display look as if they expect to be attackedis feeling defensive and dominant will pose, that is, one side of the bodyr.bs-Upng your case to someone and thesed appears towards the end of yourstered with other positive gestures, itomfortably into asking the person for a her hand, if at the close of the presen-on takes the Fists-Clenched-Arms-has a poker face, you can be invitingo get a 'yes'. It would be better to askcover the person's objections. When proposal, it can become difficult toout looking as if you're aggressive. Thenguage allows you to 'see' a negativebalised and gives you time to take antion.an see a 'no' before it's said, try a different approach.

People carrying weapons or wearing gestures because their weapo sufficient body protection. Police offic example, rarely cross their arms unles and they normally use the fist-clenched clearly that nobody is permitted to passHuggingYourselfWhen we were children our parentshugged us when we faced distressing oradults, we often attempt to recreatefeelings when we find ourselves in strethan take a full arm-cross gesture, whare fearful, women often substitute a suArm-Cross, where one arm swings acrtouch the other arm to form the barrierhugging herself. Partial arm barriers arwhere a person may be a stranger to thself-confidence. Any woman taking thiuation will usually claim she is just be Holding her moth when she Men use a partial arm barrier known a Yourself : it's commonly used by men

Arm Signalsg armour seldom use arm-on or armour provides cers who wear guns, for ss they are standing guardd position to communicates where they are standing. or carers embraced orr tense circumstances. As those same comforting essful situations. Ratherhich can tell everyone we ubtler version - a Partial- ross the body to hold or r and it looks as if she isre often seen in meetingshe group or is lacking inis position in a tense sit- ing 'comfortable'. herself likeher held here was a child as Holding-Hands-With-n who stand in front of a 99

The Definitive Book of Bodcrowd to receive an awardBroken Zipper Position itcan protect his 'crown jeof receiving a nasty fronIt's the same position mereceive social security benable feelings. It recreatesyour hand. Adolf Hitlersexual inadequacy he felt It's possible that evol100

dy Language d or give a speech. Also known as thet makes a man feel secure because heewels' and can avoid the consequencesntal blow. The Broken Zipper Positionen take in a line at a soup kitchen or tonefits and reveals their dejected, vulner- the feeling of having someone else hold used it regularly in public to mask thet because of having only one testicle. ution shortened men's arms to allow them to take this protective position because when our closest primate cousins, the chimpanzees, assume the same position their hands cross at their knees. Humans make a point of hiding the areas they think are their weakest or most vulnerable

How the Rich and Famous R their Insecurity People who are continually exposed t politicians, television personalities a don't want their audiences to detect unsure of themselves. They prefer to p trolled attitude when on display, apprehension leaks out in disguised fo in all arm-cross gestures, one arm swi body towards the other arm but inste one hand touches or holds on to a ha shirt cuff or object on or near their ot barrier is formed and the secure feelin Famous as nervo the rest Men wearing cufflinks are often seen adjusting them as they crossa room or dance floor where theyare in full view of others. TheCuff-Link-Adjust is the trade-mark of Prince Charles, who usesit to give himself a feeling ofsecurity any time he walks acrossan open space in full view ofeveryone.Prince Charles' Cuff-Link-Adjustrevealing his insecurities

Arm SignalsRevealto others, such as royalty,and movie stars, usually that they are nervous orproject a cool, calm, con-, but their anxiety ororms of arm-crossing. Asings across in front of theead of the arms crossing,andbag, bracelet, watch,'ther arm. Once again theng is achieved. people are justous in public as of us 101

The Definitive Book of BodYou would think that afscrutinised in public anroyals, such as Prince Cfeelings but his small arfeels just as insecure ascumstances. An anxious or self-coing the band on his watcclasping or rubbing his hon his cuff or using any gof his body. A favouriteinto a business meetingof the body. To the trainaway because they achattempt to disguise nervogestures is anywhere thaers, such as a man who cto dance or someone wh Women's use of disguthan men's because wombags or purses if theythemselves. Royals like Pof flowers when walkingClutch is Queen Elizabwould be carrying lipstictickets in her handbag. Inblanket when necessaryroyal watchers have recminders about when shefrom someone who is bo 02

dy Languagefter more than half a century of beingnd being confronted by large crowdsCharles, would be resistant to nervousrm-crossing behaviours reveal that he you or I would feel in the same cir-onscious man will also be seen adjust-ch, checking the contents of his wallet hands together, playing with a buttongesture that lets his arms cross in fronte of insecure businessmen is walking holding a briefcase or folder in frontned observer, these gestures are a give-hieve no real purpose except as anousness. A good place to observe theseat people walk past a group of onlook-crosses the dance floor to ask a womanho crosses a stage to receive an award. uised arm barriers is less noticeablemen can grasp onto things like hand- become self-conscious or unsure ofPrincess Anne regularly clutch a bunchg in public and the Flowers/Handbag-beth's favourite. It's unlikely that she ck, make-up, credit cards and theatre nstead, she uses it as a type of security and as a means of sending messages; corded 12 signals she sends to her wants to go, stop, leave or be rescuedoring her. Handbag used to form a barrier

One of the most common versions ofis to hold a glass or cup with two hhand to hold a glass but two hands a form an almost unnoticeable armgestures are used by almost everyonethat we're doing them. Flower g self-conscThe Coffee Cup BarrierOffering a refreshment during a negstrategy for gauging how the otheroffer. Where a person places their cutake a drink is a strong indicator ofconvinced or open to what you arereeling hesitant, unsure or negativhearing will place their cup to the opto form a single arm barrier. \"When ththey are hearing they place the cupshowing an open or accepting attitudThe arm barrier says 'no' She's n

Arm Signals f creating a subtle barrierhands. You need only oneallows the insecure personm barrier. These types ofe and few of us are aware rasping shows ciousness gotiation is an excellent person is receiving yourup immediately after theyf whether or not they are saying. Someone who isve about what they arepposite side of their body hey are accepting of what to the side of their bodyde.now open to your ideas 03

The Definitive Book of BodySitting with your elbows oof power and conveys adefeated individuals let thchair, so avoid this at alldefeated.The Power of TouchTouching a person with ywith your right hand can Researchers at the Univexperiment that became kThey placed a coin on thebehind a tree and waitedin and find it. When thiswould approach the subjemy coin in that phone boOnly 23% of the subjectsit back. In the second part of thethe phone booth but whpeople who took it, they tonot longer than three secThis time, 68% admittedrassed and said things likewho owned it...' Skilful elbow-touch times the chancThere are three reasons this considered a public spparts of the body; secondered acceptable in most coand third, a light, three-se104

Languageon the armrest of a chair is a position a strong, upright image. Humblehe arms drop inside the arms of the times unless your goal is to appearh your left hand while shaking hands create a powerful result. iversity of Minnesota conducted an known as 'The Phone Booth Test'. ledge of a telephone booth then hid for an unsuspecting subject to walk s happened, one of the researchers ect and say, 'Did you happen to seeooth? I need it to make another call.' admitted they had found it and gave e study, the coin was again placed inhen the researchers approached the ouched them lightly on the elbow for conds and inquired about the coin.d to having the coin, looked embar- e, 'I was looking around to try to see hing can give you up to three ce of getting what you wanthis technique works: first, the elbow pace and is far away from intimated, touching a stranger is not consid- ountries so it creates an impression;econd elbow touch creates a momen-

tary bond between two people. When iment for a television programme, werate varied from culture to culture dnormal touch frequency was in a example, with elbow touching, the coof Australians, 70% of English, 85%French and 22% of Italians. This resutouch works better in places where freqcultural norm. We have recordedbetween people in outdoor cafes in maregularly visit and noted 220 touches anhour in Paris, 25 touches an hour in SyYork and 0 per hour in London. ThisBritish or German your heritage, thetouch others and, therefore, the motouch will be on you. If you're of German or Brit you're an easier touch than eOverall, we found that women were fotouch another woman than was a manIn many places, touching a stranger abdid not produce the same positive rtouching the elbow and often receivTouching for more than three secondsresponse, with the person suddenlyhand to see what you are doing.Touch their Hand TooAnother study involved librarians whoto a borrower, lightly brushed the handing the book. Outside the library, the band asked questions about their impres

Arm Signalsn we replicated this exper- e found the coin return depending on what the particular place. Foroin was returned by 72%% of Germans, 50% ofult shows how the elbowquent touching is not the the touch frequencies any of the countries we n hour in Rome, 142 perydney, 4 per hour in New confirms that the moree less likely you are toore successful an elbow tish origin,everyone else. our times more likely ton to touch another man.bove or below the elbow results as with directly ved negative reactions. also received a negative looking down at youro, as they issued a book d of the person borrow-borrowers were surveyed ssions of the service the 105

The Definitive Book of Bodylibrary offered. Those whofavourably to all questionsthe name of the librarian.markets where customerswhen they received theirtomer reactions. The sconducted in the USA wtheir income from customing waitresses made 36%non-touching waitressesearnings by 22% regardle When you next meet sextend your left arm, giveas you shake, repeat theirrectly, and watch their reperson feel important, ithrough repetition. Elbow-and hand-touchiattention, reinforces aincreases your influence orable and creates positiveSummaryIt makes no difference howarms in front of the bodyis as much in the mind of tfold your arms because, foobserver will still unconsciideas. Make a decision noand in the following chaptproject a more positive, co106

Language o had been touched responded more s asked and were more likely to recall . Studies conducted in British super, s are lightly touched on the hand change show similar positive cus- same experiment has also beenwith waitresses who derive much ofmer tips. The elbow-and-hand touch-% more tips from male diners than and male waiters increased theiress of which sex they touched.someone new and you shake hands, a light touch on their elbow or hand r name to confirm you heard it cor-eaction. Not only does it make that it lets you remember their name ing — when done discreetly - grabs comment, underlines a concept,over others, makes you more memo- impressions on everyone. w you look at it, any crossing of the is seen as negative and the message the receiver as the sender. Even if youor example, you have a backache, an iously perceive you as closed to theirow to practise not crossing your arms ters we will show you what to do to onfident image.

Chapter 5 CULTURAL DIFFE How would a Brit, a Germa American interpret this geImagine this scene - you are inspectingsibility of purchasing it and you open aa woman sitting naked in a bathtub. Hthe surprised woman to react? A Britiswould cover her breasts with one handthe other, while a Swedish woman woutals. A Muslim woman would coverwoman would cover her knees and a SaWe Were Having Pizza at theAs we are writing this chapter, we are inat a conference on cultural differences. Ito Italy, we would have been shocked byAllcultures walk on the same side of theon the road. This means if you're BriAfrican or a New Zealander, you drive aconsequence is that you'd find the Italiainto you as you walk on the pavement be

ERENCESan or anesture?g a house with the pos-a bathroom door to see How would you expectsh or American womand and her genitals withuld cover only her geni- her face, a Sumatran amoan only her navel. Time n Venice, Italy speakingIf we had never travelledy what we'd experienced.e pavement as they drive itish, Australian, Southand walk to the left. Theans constantly bumpingecause, as they approach 107

The Definitive Book of Body Land you step to your left, tglasses in foreign countripavement collisions betweeother person's gaze to knowit's a novel way of meeting You'd also be stunned wgoodbye to an Italian but, i As I departed, the Italian I was tying m WAs you talk with local Itspace, continually grabbinyelling in fact, and soundinthings are a normal part onication. Not all things inTake the Cultural TeHow aware are you of cuTry this exercise — holdnumber five - do it now. Nyou're Anglo-Saxon, there'your middle and index fin94% chance you'll be holdEuropeans start counting wtwo on the index finger, thAnglo-Saxons count numbthe middle finger and finis Now look at the followidifferent meanings you cananswer, score one point ananswer. The answers are li108

Language they step to their right. Wearing sun- ies is the single biggest cause of en cultures because no one can see the w which way they intend to step. But g new and interesting foreigners. when you go to shake hands to say instead, you get a kiss on both cheeks. n man kissed me on both cheeks.my shoelaces at the time.WOODYALLEN talians, they seem to stand in your ng you, talking over the top of you, ng angry about everything. But these of everyday friendly Italian commu- all cultures mean the same things.estultural differences in body language? up your main hand to display theNow change it to the number two. If 's a 96% chance you'll be holding up ngers. If you're European, there's ading up your thumb and index finger. with the number one on the thumb,hree on the middle finger, and so on. ber one on the index finger, two on sh with five on the thumb. ing hand signals and see how manyn assign to each one. For each correct nd deduct one point for an incorrect isted at the bottom of the page.