Allan_and_Barbara_Pease_-_Body_Language_The_Definitive_Book

EvMaking a decision FemaleWhen you've asked the listeners forstart Chin Stroking, their next gestutheir decision is negative or positive.stay quiet and watch their next gestuthe decision reached. For example, iflowed by crossed arms and legs andtheir chair, it's a fair bet the answer wilan early opportunity to resell the beperson verbalises 'no' and makes it har If the Chin Stroke is followed by leaopen or picking up your proposal or shave a 'yes' and can proceed as if youStalling ClustersSomeone who wears glasses sometimecluster by taking off their glasses andframe in the mouth instead of usingmaking their decision. A cigarette smsmoke. When a person puts a pen or a f

valuation and Deceit Signals version of Chin Stroking their decision and theyures will signal whether Your best strategy is toures, which will indicate f the Chin Stroke is fol- the person sits back in ll be 'no'. This gives you enefits before the other rder to reach agreement. aning forward with arms sample, chances are you have agreement. es follows an evaluation putting one arm of theg the Chin Stroke whenmoker will take a puff of finger in their mouth after 159

The Definitive Book of Body Lyou've asked for a decisionreassurance is needed. Thestall and not feel any urgen Sometimes boredom, evtures come in combinatioof the person's attitude. The next illustration shothe chin, and the hand mperson is evaluating the psimultaneously.When the listener beginshead begins to rest on theuation with the head suppbecomes uninterested.160

Language n, it's a signal that he is unsure and e object in the mouth allows him toncy in giving an immediate response. valuation and decision-making ges-ons, each showing different elements ows the evaluation gesture moved tomay also be stroking the chin. Thisproposition and drawing conclusions Evaluation/decision-making cluster to lose interest in the speaker, the hand. The next picture shows eval- ported by the thumb as the listener Evaluation, decision, boredom cluster

E Arnold Schwarzenegger dri point while the TV host thHead Rubbing and SlappingWhen you say someone 'gives you areferring to the ancient reaction o muscles on goosebumps your non-ex end to mak intimidating threatened or raising react when it's potentially h causes the tin ence on the you feel fru usually rub y 'Pain in the neck' gesture satisfy the se

Evaluation and Deceit Signals ives home his hinks it over Gestures pain in the neck', you areof the tiny erector pillae the neck — often called — attempting to makexistent fur pelt stand onke yourself appear more because you are feeling r angry. It's the same hair- tion an angry dog has confronted by anotherhostile dog. This reaction ngling feeling you experi- back of your neck whenustrated or fearful. You'llyour hand over the area toensation. 16

The Definitive Book of Body LLet us assume, for examplsmall favour for you andWhen you ask them for thehead or back of the neck, athemselves. Although slappnicate forgetfulness, it's imthe forehead or neck. If ththat they are not intimidatfulness. When they slap thraised erector pillae muscleliterally a 'pain-in-the-neckslaps their rear end howeve Gerard Nierenberg, ofYork, found that those whneck have a tendency to bewho habitually rub their ftend to be more open and eAcquiring the ability to inrately in a given set of circumWhen a person uses any ofin this chapter, it's reasonabentered his mind. The questthought? It could be doubtapprehension or outright lyinterpret which negative is thby an analysis of the gestureand interpreting it in contex162

Language le, that you asked someone to do a that they had forgotten to do it e result, they slap either their fore- as if they were symbolically beating ping of the head is used to commu-mportant to watch whether they slap hey slap their forehead, they signal ted by you mentioning their forget- he back of the neck to satisfy the es, however, it tells you that you are k' for mentioning it. If the person er... the Negotiation Institute in New ho habitually rub the back of the e negative or critical, whereas those foreheads to non-verbalise an error easy-going. Punishing oneself by slapping oneselfnterpret hand-to-face gestures accu- mstances takes time and observation. f the hand-to-face gestures discussedble to assume a negative thought has tion is, however, what is the negative t, deceit, uncertainty, exaggeration, ying. The real skill is the ability to he correct one. This can best be done es preceding the hand-to-face gesture xt.

EvWhy Bob Always Lost at ChesWe have a colleague, Bob, who enjoyslenged him to a competition, which wlater analysis of his body language.Boboften rubbed his ear or touched hibut only when he was unsure of his nethat when we signalled an intention totouching it, Bob's body languagethought about the proposed move. Wha move, and had probably already thohe'd signal his confidence by Steeplingor unhappy he'd use the Mouth CoScratch. This happened with such predsecretly explained Bob's cues to thechess group, soon most could beat pooing his thoughts from his body languoffered a copy of this book.The Double MeaningDuring a videotaped role-play interviedenly covered his mouth and rubbed hiasked a question by the interviewer. Hfor several seconds before answering, tpose. Up to that point in the role-play,an open posture with his coat unbnodding his head and leaning forwardtions, so we thought the gestures migout of context. On reviewing the viabout the hand-to-mouth gesture andwas asked the question, he thought hetwo ways: one negative, one positive.negative answer and of how the intervhe covered his mouth. When he thoughhowever, his hand dropped away fr

valuation and Deceit Signals ss s playing chess. We chal-we secretly videotaped for The video revealed that is nose during the game, ext move. We discovered o move a chess piece by would signal what he hen he felt he could beatought of a counter move,g; when he was uncertain over, Ear Pull or Neck dictability that when we other members of our or old Bob by anticipat- uage. Bob has not been ew, our interviewee sud- is nose after he had beenHe used the Mouth Cover then returned to his open the interviewee had keptbuttoned, palms visible, when he answered ques-ght have been isolated or ideotape, we asked him d he said that when he could have responded in As he thought about the viewer might react to it, ht of the positive answer, rom his mouth and he 163

The Definitive Book of Bodyresumed an open postureviewer's possible reactionthe sudden Mouth Cover. This illustrates how easyface gesture and to jump t164

Languagee. His uncertainty about the inter-to the negative reply had resulted iny it can be to misinterpret a hand-to-to wrong conclusions.

Chapter 8 EYE SIGN Some men have the abili through solid surfaThroughout history, we've been preoctheir effect on human behaviour. Eyesation, gives cues of dominance, 'Heme' or forms the basis for suspecting awhen you say that!' We spend muchlooking at the other person's face, so eof being able to read a person's attitpeople meet for the first time theyJudgements about each other, based l We use phrases such as 'She lookedthat gleam in his eye', 'She has big babyShe has inviting eyes', 'She gave him aicy stare' or 'He gave me the evil eye'.Bette Davis eyes, Spanish eyes, bedroomprivate, sad, happy, defiant, cold, jealoing eyes. When we use these phrases w

8NALS ity to see aces ccupied with the eyes and contact regulates conver- looked down his nose at a liar, 'Look me in the eye h of our face-to-face time eye signals are a vital part ude and thoughts. When make a series of quick largely on what they see. d daggers at him', 'He had y eyes', 'He has shifty eyes', a look to kill', 'She gave an We also say a person has m eyes, hard, angry, blank, ous, unforgiving and pierc- we are unwittingly referring 165

The Definitive Book of Body Lto the size of the person's peyes can be the most reveamunication signals becauseand the pupils work indepeThe Dilating PupilsIn given light conditions, yyour attitude and mood chvice versa. When someonedilate to up to four timesangry, negative mood causcommonly known as 'beadeyes can look more attractition taking place. 'Beady' eyesEckhard Hess, the formerogy at the University of Chpupillometry, found that pstate of arousal. In generaview something that stimpupils of both heterosexviewing pin-ups of theviewing same-sex pin-upsobtained when people wunpleasant pictures includabled child or war scenes,also found that increases in166

Language pupils and to his gaze behaviour. Thealing and accurate of all human com- e they are a focal point on the body endently of conscious control. your pupils will dilate or contract as hange from positive to negative and e becomes excited, their pupils cans their original size. Conversely, anses the pupils to contract to what aredy little eyes' or 'snake eyes'. Lighter ive because it's easier to see the dila- Bedroom eyes head of the Department of Psychol- hicago and pioneer of the studies ofpupil size is affected by one's general al, pupil size increases when peoplemulates them. Hess found that thexual men and women dilate when opposite sex and constrict when s. Similar findings have also beenwere asked to look at pleasant or ding foods, political figures, a dis-s, or when listening to music. Hess n pupil size are positively correlated

with mental activity associated witmaximum dilation as a person arr We applied this research to thestrated how people rate modelsattractive if the photo has been altlarger. This was an effective wayproduct that used a close-up of themetics, hair products and clothingmail campaign, we were able to hlogue sales of Revlon lipsticks bysize of the models in the photogra Which picture do you findThe eyes are a key signal in courtmake-up is to emphasise eye displaa man, she will dilate her pupilsdecode this signal correctly withoromantic encounters are most subecause everyone's pupils dilate ancouples are interested in each othe

Eye Signals th problem solving, reachingrives at the solution. business world and demon-s in photographs as more tered to make the pupil area to increase the sales of any e face, such as women's cos-g. Using brochures in a directhelp increase the direct cata- 45% by enlarging the pupilaphs. d more attractive?tship and the purpose of eyeay. If a woman is attracted tos at him and he is likely toout knowing it. This is whyuccessful in dimly lit placesnd create the impression thater. 167

The Definitive Book of Body When a man is exc his body can grow tWhen lovers gaze deepunknowingly looking forbecomes excited by the dilhas shown that when portheir pupils can dilate towomen's pupils gave the gtures of mothers and babilarger pupils than adults,when adults are present inpossible and therefore recethe bestselling children'spupils. Research also shows theffect on the person who sat pictures of women withdilation than when theyconstricted pupils.Take the Pupil TestThe ability to decode pupiland happens completely augram B with your hand'pupils' in illustration A. Ttration B and you'll see hillustration, because their bfind it attractive. Women'create rapport with what teyes.168