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Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.

https://www.aish.com/j/as/The_History_of_Hatikvah.htmlThe History of HatikvahApr 23, 2012by Marnie Winston-MacauleyIn celebration of Israel’s birthday we examine the history of our national anthem.Israel, our homeland; a small country that stands for huge ideas and ideals. This small country took a barren desert, surrounded by enemies, and turned it into a lush land, wealthy in its values, and remarkable in its achievements for the region, and for the world.With the anniversary of Israel’s independence upon us, let us celebrate by looking at our anthem, Hatikvah which has been the voice of Jews for over one hundred years.Written and Re-writtenThe history of the lyrics and melody, much as Israel, is complex, and told in slightly different ways depending upon the source. We do know the lyrics were adapted from the nine-stanza poem, “Tikvateynu” (“Our Hope”) written in 1877 by poet Naphtali Herz Imber (1856-1909) from Galicia, in the wake of the establishment of Petah Tikva, one of the first Jewish settlements in Ottoman Palestine.The history of the lyrics and melody, much like Israel, is complex.Imber, a prodigy, began writing poetry at the age of 10, and later received an award from Emperor Franz Joseph. An ardent Zionist, Imber moved to the land of Israel in 1882 as secretary of Sir LaurenceOliphant. In 1886, he published his first book ofpoems in Jerusalem, entitled Morning Star Barkai() which included “Tikvateinu.” His passionate poem, which also strongly expresses the ancient hope of the Jewish people to return and reclaim our ancient homeland, touched the soul of the Jewish people, and was adopted as the anthem of \"Hovevei Zion\" (Lovers of Zion) and later of the Zionist Movement at the First Zionist Congress in 1897. Imber died in New York in 1909. In 1953, he was re-interred at Har HaMenuchot in Jerusalem.

What we think of as a Jewish melody, actually dates back to the 17th century, and its roots are Italian. Composer Giuseppino Del Biado (d. 1616) is credited with the tune in his song, “La Mantovana” which starts. \"Fuggi, fuggi, fuggi dal questo cielo\" (“Flee, flee, flee from this sky”), and initially appeared in print in his 1600 collection of madrigals. It was later known in Italy as \"Ballo di Mantova.\" The haunting melody spread throughout Europe under various titles, such as \"Pod Krakowem\" (a Polish folk song); \"Kateryna Kucheryava\" (Ukrainian); “Virgen de la Cueva\" (Spanish), and was the basis of composer Bedřich Smetana (Czechoslovakia/Moldavia) symphonic poem celebrating Bohemia, as “Moldau/Ma Vlast” or “Die Moldau.”Related Video: Wave Your FlagGenerally, Samuel Cohen is credited with the 1888 adaptation of the melody we now know of as Hatikvah. But here, there has been a dispute with some crediting Nissan Belzer. The origin of the music has also been disputed. Cohen claimed it was based upon the Moldavian/Romanian folk song he heard as a child.Or... it was based upon other Jewish liturgical sources, such as the Sephardi Hallel (17th century) and Tefillat Tal, the Prayer for Rain.If we accept the prevailing thinking, Samuel Cohen’s story is probably closer to the emmes. Cohen received no payment or “royalties” and whether you believe this or another theory, there’s no need to worry about copyright infringement!However, each of the various musical derivatives, including Hatikvah, shares many structural similarities to “La Mantovana.”The HopeIn its current version, Hatikvah incorporates only the first stanza from the original poem. The remaining stanzas focus on the establishment of a sovereign Israeli nation, a hope fulfilled with the founding of the State of Israel.This unique combination is magical. Hatikvah has been sung by Jews in times of horror and joy and even banned.–•The British Mandate government briefly banned its performance in 1919 due to Arab anti- Zionist political activity.•In 1944, Czech Jews spontaneously sang it at the entry to the Auschwitz-Birkenau gas chamber and, as reported by a member of the Sonderkommando, were beaten by SS guards.•In a BBC recording (April 20, 1945) Jewish survivors of the Bergen-Belsen sang Hatikvah, five days after liberation.

When the State of Israel was established in 1948, Hatikvah was unofficially proclaimed the national anthem. It was officially sanctioned as the national anthem by the Knesset during November 2004.The modern lyrics:As long as deep in the heart, The soul of a Jew yearns, And forward to the EastTo Zion, an eye looks Our hope will not be lost,The hope of two thousand years, To be a free nation in our land, The land of Zion and Jerusalem. p'nimah balevav odKolכל עוד בלבב פנימה homiyahYehudi Nefeshנפש יהודי הומיה kadimah mizrach Ulfa'ateyולפאתי מזרח קדימהtzofiyah l'tzion Ayinלציון צופיה עין התקוהtikvatenu avdah lo Od עוד לא אבדה תקותנו alpayim shnot bat Hatikvahבת שנות אלפים b'artzenu chofshi amL'hiyotלהיות עם חופשי בארצנו v'Yerushalayim Tzion Eretzארץ ציון וירושליםReligious Issues regarding HatikvahMuch like Israel itself, there have been differences of opinion regarding the lyrics. Some observant Jews feel the anthem lacks specific Jewish references without the mention of God or Torah, and have switched the word “chofshi” (free, alluding to a non-religious Jew being free of mitzvot) with the word “kodshi” (holy), reading the line: \"To be a holy nation,\" referring to the verse in Exodus 19:10: “You shall be for Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.”Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook objected to the secular aspect of Hatikvah and wrote an alternative anthem titled HaEmuna” (\"The Faith\"). However, Rav Kook did not object to singing of Hatikvah and endorsed it, as he had great respect for secular Jews, indicating that even in their work it was possible to see a level of kedushah (holiness).Hatikvah, the Hope EnduresOver centuries the adaptations of these words of hope have endured. While the harmony of Hatikvah, in minor key, unusual for a national anthem, sounds mournful, as the title \"The Hope\" and the words suggest, the lyrics are optimistic and uplifting.

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Despite controversy, the lyrics and melody have the power to speak to the human soul, to recount our dreams, our yearnings, and our determination.“Our hope is not yet lost… To be a free nation in our own land.”Today, Jews throughout the world sing our anthem at the start of services, and through the lyrics and melody, remember our fore bearers with tears, and our homeland with joy and –hope.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Identity-Thief.htmlThe Identity ThiefOct 10, 2015by Marnie Winston-MacauleyIf someone steals my identity, this is what he’s going to find.When I was young-er, our name, address, social security number, X-rays, and strange hobbies were known only to: the IRS, the DMV, our accountant, our allergist, our nest of relatives and friends, and of course, the shul. Did we worry that, say, our pharmacist, Doc Goldenstein was part of a global international conspiracy selling our prescription info to some evil stranger in Dubai? Doc Goldenstein couldn’t eat his soup without leaving shmutz on his white coat and never made a call outside of his area code in Brooklyn.He’ll get subscriptions to 250 Jewish dating sites.But since the digital world became the “new” us, now anyone of a billion people can be us. Between legit sites with 12-year-old techies fluent only in Kashmiri, and an underground network of“networks” out to “make us a partner in a five million bitcoin windfall deal” to get our vitals, face it. We nice Jewish people don’t stand a chance. I knew it was hopeless when I got an online courtesy coupon for “I COLDFLASH” the minute I got a hot one.-These online chazzers, not only have us dangling like puppets, hocking us with groups (“Based on your tastes, we suggest you join The Jewish Jedi for Jerusalem”), strange insurance companies (“So, Marnie, since you rear ended a police car on Thursday …”), and deals (“In -2002 you viewed an aqua slimming belt. It’s still here”) but the gonifs and thieves are stealing our identities.

Terrible, a horror, it is. Then again, I wish they would email ‘us’ so I could learn as much about me as they do. Then I thought: “What shmendrick would want to be me? Not only am I not entirely sure who me is, but from what I do know of me, I’d steal someone else.”STEALING A JEWISH (OR JUST MY) IDENTITY! THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GET!1.The Identity Gonif Assumes My HobbiesServes Him Right! He’ll get subscriptions to 250 Jewish dating sites with men emailing:“Sincere rabbinical student. Enjoys Yom Kippur and Tish’a B’Av seeks companion for living life in the ‘fast’ lane” or “You’re probably wondering why a retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ with no personality. I’m a mieskeit. Under 30 is also OK.” Wait, that’s not all. He’ll also get 10 books a month, used, from Amazon on things like Multiple Personality Disorders, and fascinating Jewish facts such as the universe is shaped like a bagel. (We’re not sure if it’s onion or poppy seed.)2.The Identity Gonif Assumes My MembershipsServes Him Right! He’ll be inundated with requests for donations from 20 organizations we may have, might have Googled once by accident, for example, TMPS (The Matzo Preservation Society). The gonif will get 300 cards imprinted with sad, leftover, broken matzo pieces marching into Hefty bags. Then there are the renewals. He’ll have the pleasure of seeing my bank account dissolve between my dues to Curvy Yiddle Ladies, automatic withdrawals for Frizz Begone, AFD + (arm flab dissolver), Ginko Biloba, FiberFast, Belly Burner and the –Kosher Cheesecake of the week club.3.The Identity Gonif Assumes My JobsServes Him Right! As for work, he’ll get emails from my editor asking “him” to send him 1,000 words on Yiddish curses by Monday and make sure I spell “Im hayu samim et hamo’ach shelcha b’tarnegol, hu haya ratz yashar l’shochet tafsik lezyen” right for a change. (If they had to put your brain in a chicken, it would run straight to the butcher.)4.The Identity Gonif Assumes My Financial AccountsServes Him Right! Not only will he receive six year old ER bills, notices from places with three letters (IRS, DOE, VEY) but good luck finding my tiny pushke in a vault in Natanya that my third cousin’s son-in-law, Herbie-the-lawyer has set up for me and his other Jewish –relatives. He will learn that “my dog ate the check” doesn’t work with my bank. I’ll leave a note: “My darling IG (Identity Gonif) … it’s all yours, mamala. Enjoy!” He’ll owe them, I figure, with overdrafts, maybe 300 a month.5.The Identity Gonif Assumes My Telephone NumberServes Him Right! He’ll be on automated re-dial from every telemarketer west of the Rockies, also east. Such friends he’ll make! For starters, there’s Marv from Mutual of Miami Hurricane Insurance. A lovely person who calls twice a week, even though the State in which I

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.live, Nevada, never had one. Then there’s Sylvia who thinks I should pay 15K to learn early Aramaic. For me, she’ll discount 10 per cent. Ethel from the clinic checks in about once a month when her colitis isn’t acting up. Better, he’ll love my deaf phone with the Closed Captioning run by a company whose translators are either fluent only in Chinese … or braille. Don’t ask how they spell the word “Sukkot.”Yes! Should the yutz pick many Jews or worse, me, he’ll no doubt get out of “gonifing” and turn his talents to making Jewish apps from which he’ll make a fortune. Will he cut me in? Feh… people don’t change!

https://www.aish.com/j/as/The-Jazz-Singer-Yom-Kippur--the-History-of-Film.htmlThe Jazz Singer, Yom Kippur & the History of FilmSep 12, 2018by Marnie Winston-MacauleyO Onc to erb , 2 , t 6197h dea ybe ore of Ym Kipp ru, “h eJ azz Singer e”lectr eifid h te audience as the first offi cial feature-length film in sound.On October 6, 1927, the day before Yom Kippur, a magical premier took place in New York City. “The Jazz Singer” starring Al Jolson electrified the audience as the first feature-length film to contain a sound score, sound effects and actual dialogue (which amounted to less –than three minutes of “talking” with the rest of the dialogue shown on the usual silent film caption cards. Six songs, however were sung).The film that deals with Jewish assimilation and culminates on Yom Kippur, was based on the play of the same name by Samson Raphaelson, adapted from one of his short stories, \"The Day of Atonement\" which had everything to do with Jolson.The film was adapted from the Raphaelson short story, \"The Day of Atonement”On April 25, 1917, Raphaelson, from New York City's Lower East Side and a University of Illinois student, attended a performance of the musical “Robinson Crusoe, Jr.” which starred the 32-year-old Jolson, aRussian-born Jew who performed in blackface.* In a1927 interview, Raphaelson said he had only experienced this level of emotional intensity among synagogue cantors.At the premier during the era of silent films, the audience, for the first time, could both hear as well as play that premiered at the Warner Theater in New York see Jolson through the newFive years later, he wrote “Day of Atonement” based upon Jolson’s life. From there he adapted it into a stage in 1925 starring George Jessel. It was a hit and Warner

Vitaphone sound-on-disc system. And what they heard was his rich voice, shuffling feet, and pitiable sobs which punctuated the high notes that reverberated on screen with a fervor never before imagined Eddie Cantor, then Al Jolson on screen. The effect was thrilling.The audience was both mesmerized and moved in a way that would forever change film-making and film-goers. Even Jolson was too overcome at the premiere to say his signature: “Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet!”Culturally, the film was largely responsible for ending silent films.Brothers acquired the film rights. As a result of multiple issues involving contract and story line, Jessel did not star in the movie. It was offered to (ironically about whom the story was originally written). At the time, Jolson was at the height of his popularity, singing jazzed-up minstrel with electrifying gestures, rooted inthe African-American community, but he hadn’t made a film. Jolson took the part, signing a $75,000 deal (about one million dollars today) in 1927.But there was much more. The story, which reaches its climax during the Yom Kippur services, took on the complex issue of assimilation in this new land. The timing of the premier, was of course, purposeful. Our holiest day of the year is when we Jews ask the Almighty for atonement from our sins. It demands introspection. At the film’s core lies the dilemma of maintaining Jewish identity in a changing world where Jolson’s character, Jakie Rabinowitz, son of a cantor, wrestles with honoring the traditions of his ancestors versus grabbling hold of modern American life (pursuing a Jazz career). The plot reflected the views and experiences of the four Jewish Warner brothers (born Wonskolaser), Albert, Harry, Jack, and Sam, and of its Jewish star, Al Jolson (Asa Yoelson). (None of the brothers were able to attend the opening because the day before, Sam had died of pneumonia, and the others were in California to attend his funeral.)“The Jazz Singer” tells the story of the Rabinowitz family who have been proud cantors for five generations. Jakie, the youngest Rabinowitz, American born, was being groomed by his orthodox father to devote his life to carrying on the faith and spirit of his ancestors.Jakie’s passion, however, beats to the rhythm of American jazz. Instead of learning his chants, he’s in cafes singing “Way down on the levee, in old Alabammy, there’s Daddy and Mammy, and Ephraim and Sammy.”

\"My son was to stand at my side and sing tonight but now I have –no son.\"His heartsick father finds out and on Yom Kippur, Cantor Rabinowitz mournfully tells a fellow congregant, \"My son was to stand at my side and sing tonight but now I have no son.\" Jakie is–forced to leave, and over the next few years, forgesa successfully career with his super-jazz, taking onthe name Jack Robins.The dramatic climax occurs some years later on Yom Kippur. His father is dying and calls for his son to come back to the shul the same night Jakie is scheduled to make a critical theatrical appearance in a New York revue. Sara, his mother wants him to take his father’s place at the Yom Kippur service. His gentile girlfriend Mary and co-star warns Jakie that failing to appear on opening night would ruin his career, telling him: \"You're a jazz singer at heart!\"Torn, Jakie at first he refuses his mother, who nevertheless, watching the dress rehearsal realizes her son now belongs to the larger world. But, unable to deny what’s in his heart, he rushes to his father, delaying the Broadway opening.Jakie kneels at his father's bedside and the two finally talk with passion and affection as his father says: \"My son – I love you.\" What will he do? Sacrifice his American career … or his responsibility to his father and his faith?Jakie sings Kol Nidre in his father's place and the Broadway opening is delayed. His father listens from his deathbed to the nearby ceremony and speaks his last, forgiving words: \"Mama, we have our son again.\" Mary attends and sees how Jack has reconciled the division in his soul: \"A jazz singer singing to his God.\"–In a memorable scene, Jolson is seen at the piano, singing “Blue Sky” to Eugenie Besserer, who played his mother, Sara. At the conclusion of the song, he turns and talks to her this –being the only “lengthy” snatch of spoken dialog in the film (excerpted).JAKIE: Mama darlin', if I'm a success in this show, well, we're gonna move from here. Oh yes, we're gonna move up in the Bronx. A lot of nice green grass up there and a whole lot of people you know. There's the Ginsbergs, the Guttenbergs, and the Goldbergs. Oh, a whole lotta Bergs. And I'm gonna buy you a nice black silk dress, Mama.MOTHER: Oh, no-JAKIE: And I'm gonna get you a nice pink dress that'll go with your brown eyes. MOTHER: No, Jakie, no I-I-I-I

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.JAKIE: Yes, you'll wear pink or else. (He laughs.) And, darlin', oh, I'm gonna take you to Coney Island.MOTHER: Oh, no. I wouldn't go....JAKIE: Well, with me, it's all right. I'll kiss you and hug you. You see if I don't.The huge risk taken on by the Warner Brothers when in a financial crises was rewarded. Over time, “The Jazz Singer” was a hit. The film that cost the studio $422,000, a fortune then, made a huge profit. At the first Academy Awards, Darryl F. Zanuck won an Honorary Academy Award for producing the film and Alfred A. Cohn was nominated for Best Writing (Adaptation).Those who remain committed to their faith have a very high likelihood of passing on that heritage to their children and grandchildren.Due to its critical content, in 1996 this Jewish film was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry of \"culturally, historically or aesthetically significant\" motion pictures. In 1998, the American Film Institute named “The Jazz Singer” as one of the best American films of all time.The issues explored in “The Jazz Singer” are still relevant for the Jewish community today. How dowe remain true to our roots while attempting to “make it” in the modern world? There are many who have found an answer to this question these are the Jews who have remained –committed to their faith and can be found at the forefront of every industry whether in the –worlds of business, politics, medicine, and yes, even Hollywood. As every study of American Jewry has shown, those who remain committed to their faith have a very high likelihood of passing on that heritage to their children and grandchildren. Conversely, those who assimilate, do not. Perhaps as we look at this film in retrospect, a new perspective can be gained – that the Jazz Singer’s father was right after all.*While “black face” today is considered racist, other interpretations see the “mask” as a metaphor that Jolson used to express similarities with the Jewish experience.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/90076392.htmlThe JewbeesApr 10, 2010by Marnie Winston-MacauleyI’ve been bitten by the award season bug so I’ve decided to give out my own J ew i s ha aw r d s-- t he e Jw bees.Between the Oscars, Tonys, Emmys, and Grammys, there are at least 36 televised celeb awards a year. Thirty-six for the sung, unsung, should never be sung, to “Oyyyy, he’s singing the opening!”But not one of these critically-kicked VIPPY events are given for Jewish Achievements in the Arts.JEWBEES – for Outstanding Artistic Contributions by MOTsSo I say we create The JEWBEES for Outstanding ––Artistic Contributions by MOTs. The winners would receive a crystal bagel-shaped award in Eastern European elegance (a few onyx “sesames.”) So putyour feet up, get comfortable, grab a nosh and get ready for this year’s 37th award ceremony.MOST UNSPORTSMAN-LIKE SHOW OF ANTI-SEMITISMAnd the winner is: Austria Runner-up: SwedenLast November, Israelis Dana Stralinkov, 14, and Alona Komarov, 13, won the gold and bronze medals respectively at an international fencing competition in Austria.As per custom, the national anthem is played at the award ceremony. Expecting to hear theirsthe girls stood in shocked silence. Nothing.–So, We Jews took care of things the way we usually do. Ourselves. The teens and the 22 person Israeli delegation burst into Hatikva, “the Hope.”Now what on earth could have gone wrong? According to an Austrian official in charge of the thing, he just couldn’t find a recording of the Israeli anthem. Right. What …? The lying dummkopf lost it between Djibouti’s and Kyrgyzstan’s?

In yet another dig over Israel’s status, there was a similar incident in Sweden the preceding June. But, in fairness, there’s a country who’s given us Death Metal, ABBA, Kn?ckebr?d and Red Gummy Fish. Sadly, they also have a depression problem, offset only by their occasional wild and wacky sense of humor when they lose things. Like herring and –Hatikva.So, to all you Austrians who “lost” Hatikva, I suggest you change your own anthem from Land der Berge (Land of Mountains) to Land vom Schimpflichen (Land of the Shameful)DUMB, DUMBER, DUMBEST CRIMEWinners: Swedish Neo-Nazi and Five PolesDecember 18, was a sunny morning over Auschwitz (now the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and State Museum), the massive Polish camps of horror. History’s most infamous death machine which has long been in desperate need of appropriate renovation, was missing something else.A sign. THE sign. “Arbeit Macht Frei” (Work makes you free) that “welcomed” its victims as they entered and over a million Jews never left. For We Jews and lovers of justice –everywhere, the sign became iconic. It epitomized ultimate perversity the inhumane fraud –and duplicity behind those walls, dedicated to “the work” of Jewish genocide with the “freedom” to torture and murder.The determination to find the sign became a virtually unprecedented priority. Within 48 hours, it was retrieved in three –pieces. The theft, committed by five Poles, was the “brain- child” of Anders Hogstrum, a Swede who is said to have founded and led the Swedish neo- Nazi National Socialist Front in the 1990s. He intended to make a fortune by selling the sign to an English collector.We’ve covered the obvious “awfulness” of this incident. But more. Is it just me or is this “plan” less baked than the Pillsbury doughboy. First, the idiots broke it. Now, true, dismantling could be a disguise. But would even the biggest Jew-hating goniff plotz with joy over one “Arbeit,” and maybe a “Frei?” And then there’s “placement.” Where would he put it with “pride?” I actually once met a Jew-hater with his own personal Nazi Museum which he kept in a dank bunker by his basement toilet. Finally, did this arrogant Swedish Nazi and his Poles think they were stealing a marble rye? That We Jews wouldn’t find it before Shabbos? It would take ScotlandYard longer to find the crown jewels. This plot is so insipid, so hysterically stupid, I say we turn it over to “Borat” who’ll show the world what happens when Jew-hating half wits take on the Hebrews.OUTSTANDING SHABBAT SOLVEWinner: Dick Heyman, McMurdo Station, Antarctica

And we made up jokes about praying on the moon what with the spinning and mishegoss of day and night? You don’t have to lift off to do the Shabbat impossible. Try Antarctica. When Heyman, the information technologist, and chacham led the first Shabbat service last January on this gigantic frozen research popsicle with “Blessed are you, endless one, who makes the evenings fall,” he was missing one thing. Evening. It was “daytime” – since August. When, then, should he give out the prayer books he printed, have the oneg, with the wine, and challah he baked for the small group? February?! Shabbat, determined by the movements of sun and stars can only be found in The Jewish –Twilight Zone at the South Pole. In the 18th century, the Vilna Gaon determined that in such cases, we should follow Jerusalem’s solar calendar.Wha ...? No good?According to Rabbi Michael Paley, of the Jewish Resource Centre of UJA-Federation of New York, the law extends only to land contiguous with Israel. Even for us, 10,000 miles might be a stretch. What to do? Rabbi Paley’s psak is simple: let the community decide! (Are We Jews full of common sense or what?) Heyman used the sundown of the nearest community. (Would you believe, it’s Christchurch? I’m serious. Look up New Zealand.)Done? Not quite. Which way is Jerusalem? When it comes to direction, the South Pole is so farmisht (or we are) it needs a grid system, none of which points you directly to Jerusalem. The decision? Face true east and Think Jerusalem!Just between us, I think Hashem was doing a little pre-Shabbos knee-slapping. Known to have a mighty sense of humor, Hashem may have figured that if the Goyim make a plump old man shlep a billion toys from the North Pole in 24 hours on reindeer (one with a problem yet), how hard could it be to hold a Shabbat service down South?JEW-HATERS MOST (MORE) IMPROVEDWinner: The Czech RepublicFor centuries, the Jews of Prague have had a “dynamic” relationship with Czechoslovakia, now the Czech Republic. The 16th-19th centuries saw a Czech Renaissance, in which Jews such as Franz Kafka contributed mightily. After Germany’s “acquisition” of the country, along with the Holocaust, then Communism, Jewish-Czech relationships have been spotty, to say the least.Anti-Semitism was by and large not dealt with, laws relating to talking about the Holocaust went back and forth. Incidents continued until the year 2,000. Today, though anti-Semitism exists, it’s somewhat peripheral of late, and the small Jewish community is starting to revive. Half of its 3,000 registered Jews live in Prague. (Estimates of total Jews are about 18,000.) And, we’re getting action! A recent example:

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.In May, a Czech court sentenced three defendants to from six to 14 months in prison for posing in a picture with a Nazi flag. The photo was taken in a bar in 2004 during a party, and then showed up on Web site, Antifa, a leftist organization. Finally! A Czech official recognized the Swastika as a “party” theme can really be -- a “RIOT.”MOST INNOVATIVE SPELLING OF CHANUKAHWinner: : cHanooka. (cha -nook-ah).Settling on a universal transliteration of the Festival of Lights can cause more mishegoss than settling on a recipe for making a matzo ball. Just seeing the blue and silver paper causes Jews and non-Jews alike to toss their fine point, grab a black marker, and smudge HC&N*CKA – in script. Here are just a few of the contenders. “Chanaka,” ” Hannakah,” “Channaka,” “Hannukka,” “Channakka,” “Hanuka,” “Chanakha,” “Channakah,” Hannuka,”“Chanukka” ” Hannukkah,” Hanakah” “Channakkah,” “Hanakkah,” “Hannukka,” “Chanuka” “ Hannakkah.”So, my fellow MOTs, can we settle? After giving this years of thought, I’ve come up with “cHanooka. (cha -nook-ah) – emphasis on the first syllable. Speaking of which, “cHa should sound like the last two letters of “Bach” (the composer), add a giggle, which gives us “cHa.” Then, “nook” as in ... “nook.” For the final “A”, think “Ah, now this is living!” And you’ve got the perfect little “ah” flourish. In fact, why not create a jewlarious holiday game for the kinder: “KASPINNER.” An 18-sided object, each side with a different spelling of the holiday and a –task (e.g.: “sing all the words to Dreidel, Dreidel” are assigned varying amounts of choco- coins, by adults based on … not much. Of course, landing on the “correct” spelling (mine) is Big Bonus time. (Oh, and given our creative spellings, the KaSpinner should be made of sponge and larger than a challah!)P.S. If you can do better, post your award in the comment section below

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Jewish-Boomer-Drivers-Test.htmlThe Jewish Boomer Driver’s TestMay 13, 2017by Marnie Winston-MacauleyAs a Jew, how would you answer the following questions?Who among us hasn’t shvitzed while taking a driver’s test, especially for us Boomers who, despite the fact that we hit a little something, have been driving beautifully for 30 years? Oy, those questions? Ok, true, some are no-brainers such as “If a pedestrian crosses against the light should you: A) let him walk; B) K-nock him a little with your car to remind him? But others …? Here’s an actual question on the Nevada Driver’s test:“Assume you are traveling 65 mph and suddenly need to stop. How far will your car go, before you come to a complete stop including reaction distance and braking distance?A. 168 feetB. 656 feetC. 494 feet\" What are we? NASCAR mechanics? Gentiles?!Just as We Jews do just about everything differently from other people (never mind from each other) and have been known to have the occasional difference of opinion with the world at large, should we be forced to follow laws made up by bored government officials who haven’t debated the situation thoroughly? Of course not! So for us Jewish Boomers, I’ve created …THE BOOMER’S DRIVERS’ TEST WITH RULES THAT MAKE JEW-SENSE1- Stopping on the freeway is permitted:

A. NeverB.When you’re driving carpool and the little Melnick mazik sticks gum in your grandson’s keppie for the third time2- Which vehicle must always stop before crossing railroad tracks:A. A truck filled with dynamiteB. Irrelevant. What Jew lives or drives near a railroad track?3- Who may drive faster than a maximum speed limit?A. Emergency servicesB. Anyone over 67 on a prescription diuretic4- When may you drive with an open container of alcohol next to you?A. NeverB. After Pesach, when you take home from your cousin the three bottles of leftover Manischewitz you brought, but Ms. Fancy refused to use because it wasn’t a $140 Carmel Limited Edition5- If a traffic signal light is not working, you should:A. Proceed with extreme cautionB. Stop, get out of your car, wave down the other drivers, encourage them to kvetch to the Department of Highways while organizing a fund-raiser to get it fixed.6-When law enforcement stops you while you’re on your Smartphone, you should:A. Remain inside your vehicle and place your hands in clear viewB. Offer him a nosh then put him on the phone with your youngest daughter, who can not only vouch for you, but needs practice talking to men7- When entering a freeway, you must:A. Match the speed of the trafficB. Drive at least 20 mph faster than the ramp speed to quickly find a gap so the chazzer behind you doesn’t cut in front, thereby causing a danger to you because he thinks his business his more important than yours8- Which of the following greatly affects your stopping distance?A. Type and condition of tiresB. Your wife sitting beside you who yells, for example, “STOP HERE HARVEY!”9- Who in the car must be in an approved restraint system in the back seat?

A. Anyone under age twoB. All the kinder until they either reach puberty or the teacher confirms they are unusually gifted for ten years old10-If you see a pedestrian with a white cane at a crosswalk, you should:A. Give the pedestrian the right of way at all timesB. STOP immediately, leave your vehicle, run to the crosswalk, and offer to help him cross. It’s a mitzvah!11-What does the two-second rule mean?A. You should keep at least a two-second distance between you and the car aheadB.If you’re the passenger, you should check with the driver every two seconds to see if he’s sure he knows where he’s going12-What is true about driving too slowly?A. It is against the law if you block trafficB. You could miss the Early Bird Special!13-If you have a blowout, you should take your foot off the gas pedal and:A. Steer straight ahead until it’s safe to stopB.Check to see if the hole is on the top of the tire or the bottom, and if it’s on top, drive home14-Using a cell phone for texting or electronic messaging is:A. IllegalB.Legal, if you’re texting your daughter to report a nice young man next to you withM.D. plates who, when you casually fished at the light, mentioned he wasn’t married15- When two vehicles arrive at an intersection with no signs which should be given the right-of-way?A. The car approaching from the rightB.The fanciest. Obviously this person’s a macher with more important business to get to than the shlub in the 1985 Dodge Dart16-A flagger in a work zone directs you to do a U-turn against the sign. What should you do?A. Make the U-turnB. Call the police immediately. In those orange suits, he could be an escaped convict for all you know

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.17- When driving on a slippery surface such as snow or ice, you should:A. Be especially careful on bridgesB. Tell yourself, “Oy am I a nudnik? Why am I driving in the ice and snow?!”18-What should you do if a large car such as a Mercedes tries to cut in front of you? A. Let him in if it’s safeB. Speed up, then look back and out the window yell: “Hitler drove that car! May you sit on that ramp till Tisha b'av, then may your German car refuse your orders to move when your Auto Club’s on strike for a month!”19-What does defensive driving mean?A. Protecting yourself and others from dangerous and unexpected driving situationsB. Assuming others will misunderstand your Jewish driving and being prepared, as usual, to defend your actions to every shmegegge on the road!SCORING: 17-19 “B” answers. Mazel Tov! You can drive day or night from Scarsdale to Tel Aviv! 13-16 “B” answers. You may drive only with restricted license “W” for “Wife Beside You.”O-12 “B” answers. You’re Gentile, so we suggest you study this test then re-take it should you be planning to drive anywhere in or around Miami.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The_Jewish_Disorder_Manual_II.htmlThe Jewish Disorder Manual IIFeb 4, 2012by Marnie Winston-MacauleyMy diagnostic manual for Jewish disorders is back!In Part One of The Jewish Disorder Manual, I took on that silly book, the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), or as I call it, the “SMD” – “Stupid, Mindless Diagnoses.” This bubbameister consists of hundreds of pages of diagnosis, symptoms, each on an “axis,” that are numbered, sub-numbered, typed, sub typed, clustered. They can be cyclical, bi-cyclical, perennial, seasonal, monthly, or maybe not -- and can occur alone as long as it doesn’t occur with any of the other thousand “Stupid, Mindless Diagnoses” in the book. Yet, pros are forced to use this “professional Bible” to prove that our client is not completely meshugge, but meshugge enough for treatment.#9. 109.1 Mechutenem Satisfaction or MSAccording to “the Book,” the only things I don’t suffer from are “Fear of Food” and “Hyper- Exercising.” But we Jews can’t be lumped, clustered, or “standardized” – especially when we talk “emotions.” So in defense of our people, I’m adding to my DSM for We Jews which has nothing whatever to do with that book and truly describes how our mishegoss is different from the book’s mishegoss.*Note: Before I get “you-heartless-chaya-who-has-no-compassion-for-mental illness e-mails” there are people of all stripes suffering greatly to whom I’ve devoted my life to treating with love, compassion, and I hope skill. Each of us is God’s creation -- a custom job. Which is why I don’t like the BOOK!THE JEWISH DSM (DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS) II6: 106.1 Bargaining Anxiety Dysfunction or BADEssential Features: The obsessive need to buy retail for anything other than underwear or food. Most striking is the propensity to purchase jewelry from a regular store, or avoiding negotiating at garage sales.

Healthy Jewish Behavior: What “they” call a problem we call common sense! After all, we have a 3,500 year history of having to bargain to survive in shtetls and ghettos where we needed a Yiddishe kop to make sure we could put lokshen on the table. Tiffany wants $5000 for a ring when Uncle Moishe can get you almost nearly the exact same ring for $750 and put it in a –Tiffany box?! Seeing a $20 tag on a lamp with a scratch at a garage sale and saying, “That’s fair?” Is this wise, mamalas?! Look at the greatest Jewish negotiattor of them all: Canadian- born Jeffrey Skoll who invented eBay! “Meshugge?” I think not!7.107.1 Hypochondrical Insufficiency or HIEssential Features: The persistent pattern of answering the question: “Hi. How are you?” with “Fine!” -- regardless of what we all know is the truth: “We could be better.” This is also characterized by saying “It’s nothing!” when we or a loved one coughs, sneezes, or has a cramp. (This condition is a specific perennial subtype of 103:1 Anxiety Insufficiency or AI AI AI.)Healthy Jewish Behavior: We Jews a) assume the asker means the question, and b) believe in truth. Therefore, when one is interested enough to inquire about us, it’s our duty to inform them. After all, we know something about us may not be A-Okay or certainly won’t be some time. A headache could be a tumor. A sneeze? Shh Pui. Nasal blockage. A weakness? That 1957 polio shot could’ve worn off. Does it make sense to wait until it’s too late to seek help from our neighbor, our plumber, or maybe even a doctor if “it” doesn’t go away in an hour? The result? No Jew has ever died from saying, “It’s nothing!”8.108.1 Kreplachphobia or KPEssential Features: A cluster disorder, which among others, includes Shmaltz Avoidance Disorder (or SAD). Jewish people who react negatively when in the presence of “Yiddishe” dishes such as kreplach, shmaltz, gribbenes, holishkes, kishke, preferring instead food that is either low carb or significantly white and thin, e.g.: milk, white bread, mayo.108.2 A preference for meals that are both low carb and white and thin is a far more serious condition.Healthy Jewish Behavior: Have you ever seen a photo of our ancestors shlepping through Ellis Island with a trunkful of flanken, or entering the home of the free with a herd of cows, deer, or goats in steerage? No. They made due, and deliciously so with fat, potatoes, and shmaltz!Meanwhile, “nouvelle” Jews on a diet of white and Gingko Biloba are dropping dead at 40, while Zaydes in Brooklyn are dancing in nursing homes at ninety.9.109.1 Mechutenem Satisfaction or MS

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Essential Features: Adoring the family your child marries into without equivocation. “His” mother cooks gefilte sweet? “His” papa is delightful! The in-laws want your daughter to dig for water in a fourth world country? They insist the young couple “do” Sunday brunch by them – and bring the lox? You’re okeydokey with that.Healthy Jewish Behavior: Twenty-five years you spent teaching your values, never mind paying for braces so your mechutenem should enjoy!? Please. Their side is … not “you.” So, will you overlook, keep silent, and make peace at all costs, even if the price is your kinder’s soul? In Samuel 4:21 and 1:27, Genesis 21:16, and 37:2 it’s clear. We train our children in the way they should go. (Our way!) So any total acceptance of “their path” is not only cowardly, it’s a sin.The result? You’ll die happy.10: 110: Unmixed Dysfunction Disorder with Inexplicable Reactions or UDDEREssential Features: Jews who can be pinned down with one clear diagnosis based on one mindset and behavior, without debate, or signs of mixed messages, signals, feelings, joys, and oys.Healthy Jewish Behavior: We Jews are nothing if not complex. Have we all not heard Jews say, for example: “OK … a little hefty she is, but a face like an angel,” “So he falls over his shoe laces, but he’s got a good heart-- and a medical degree,” “True, I over worry, but when you were nine, wasn’t I right about your chicken pox?” The result? We’ve survived for thousands of years by looking in, over, under every side and examine each possibility, whether we’re talking Talmud, or deciding if we should teach our daughters-in-law how to make an edible brisket. Masters of Mixing, we rest easy knowing we’ve done our homework, and can feel many ways -- in peace, perfect harmony, and sanity by simply mixing the words: \"Oy, the agony! Ai, the ecstasy!”Should you suffer from any of the above, take a little seltzer mixed with a table spoon of schmaltz and call me in the morning!

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The_Jewish_Disorder_Manual.htmlThe Jewish Disorder ManualJan 14, 2012by Marnie Winston-MacauleyMy very own Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for my very own people.As a writer, and slightly quirky therapist who believes in skill, creativity, and passion as a road to healing (along with free speech), there’s a book I strongly suggest you shred should you come across it. It’s the DSM (Diagnostic and statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), or as I call it, the “SMD” – “Stupid, Mindless Diagnoses.” Yet pros are forced to read it, and worse use it. Why? To fill out forms.Simply, it lists all manner of “mental and emotional” dysfunction, which are numbered, sub- numbered, subtyped, subgrouped, clustered, with a gargantuan laundry list of symptoms, which can be seasonal, occasional, alone or in combination with everything else in the book.2: 102:1 Inadequate Parental- Attachment Disorder or IPADTrust me, mamalas. If you read it, you’ll think you’re so meshugge, you’ll check into a clinic in the Alps, with a whole team of Swiss shrinks just to treat you.But what they label a “problem” for some, may beperfectly normal, healthy, positive Jewish behavior!So, in defense of our people, I’ve devised a short DSM for We Jews, which as you’ll see, has nothing whatever to do with that book and truly describes how our mishegoss is different from the book’s mishegoss.*Note: Before I get “you-heartless-chaya-who-has-no-compassion-for-mental illness e-mails” there are people of all stripes suffering greatly to whom I’ve devoted my life to treating with love, compassion, and I hope skill. Each of us is God’s creation -- a custom job. Which is why I hate the BOOK!THE JEWISH DSM (DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS)

1: 101.1 Insufficient Hyper Activity Disorder or IHADEssential Features: The inability to engage in five or more tasks simultaneously, or to switch actions and thoughts within 15 seconds.Healthy Jewish Behavior: What “they” call a problem, we call rapid-speed multi-tasking. My bubbe alone could escape from the Czar, bribe border guards, while carrying boxes on her head, and family on her back to the U.S. Then later, make a holiday with seltzer and silly string, clean so you could operate, find lost keys in a mall, while arguing with Tanta Dora, criticizing my outfit, and slicing brisket from her purse, one-two-three. For We Jews with a 3,500 year history of having to flee at a moment’s notice, “hyper activity” is not only normal, -it’s a necessary survival skill.2: 102:1 Inadequate Parental-Attachment Disorder or IPADEssential Features: Allowing your children excessive independence, for example: letting them eat what they want, take a year off from school to “find” themselves, move out, become an “eco preneur”, choose a mate, pierce anything but two earlobes –- and be okey-dokey with all of it.Healthy Jewish Behavior: Unlike “them,” We Jews attach like Velcro to those we love, we know, and Jewish strangers we meet in Loehmann’s, but most especially to the kinder. It’s called involvement. And who among us hasn’t a child (whether they know or appreciate) who doesn’t require our continuous attachment to guide them correctly during those difficult years between nursery and nursing home? The result? More Jewish “children” are in medical school than reform school.102:2: Allowing the above independence when your children are under 40, is a far more serious disorder.3: 103:1 Anxiety Insufficiency or AI AI AIEssential Features: An inadequate degree of anxiety, which includes, but is not limited to a pervasive feeling that all is, and will be well, so why worry? Examples of symptoms include resting comfortably when your daughter is 30 minutes late, your son is taking his first solo drive, a loved one has a cough.Healthy Jewish Behavior: We Jews haven’t had it easy, so we’ve learned that bad things happen to good people often to –us. (It’s a fact. Look it up). So constant anxiety is a wise preventive/reactive measure. Your teen is late? True, it’s more likely she lost her watch than was hijacked on the Grand Central Parkway? BUT … is it wiser to start the hunt for her quickly, just in case? A cough could be a piece of stuck brisket. BUT, it could also be a sign of early pneumonia. Only an idiot would fool with pneumonia. Right?

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.4: 104:1 Oppositional Inadequacy or OIEssential Features: An inability or substantial dislike for argumentation, characterized by general agreement with anyone/everybody else, regardless of the issue, or the fact that you know better.Healthy Jewish Behavior: We Jews have been known to have opinions and express them, debate, argue, take the opposing view for stimulation and fun. This is why Moses could –attract a crowd, Joan Rivers has her own show, and Jewish family dinners sound like a Toastmasters meeting. Your sister-in-law brings her own “better” brisket to your table? The president of the Sisterhood thinks your dress isn’t frum enough? Your Jewish neighbor believes the Palestinians have a point?! Any opposing response is not only made, but loud enough to drown out a pneumatic riveter. Trust me. Our tiny group didn’t win Nobel Prizes and start a country without making a major tsimmis.5: 105:1 Unspecified “Polar” Spectrum or UPSEssential Features: The belief one suffers from anything involving “polar.”Healthy Jewish Behavior: We Jews run from the very mention of the word “polar.” Whether we’re talking “brains” or “regions,” we don’t associate with any concept that reminds us of Siberia. How many Jewish people have shlepped to Alaska, or the Arctic to shake off their emotional ups and downs (or find their bashert)? From ancient times, we’ve known that humans live longer and healthier in either Miami or a desert. Mamalas, the word “polar” is for bears, not Jews with the blues!Should you suffer from any of the above conditions I’ve described, take two pieces of sponge cake and call me in the morning.

https://www.aish.com/j/f/The-Jewish-Father.htmlThe Jewish FatherJun 7, 2014by Marnie Winston-MacauleyIn honor of Father’s Day, let’s learn about these fascinating Jewish fathers.Much has been said and written about The Jewish Mother. She’s been called funny, intrusive, protective, in charge, and that’s for starters. The number of sitcoms based upon the stereotypes could take up an entire Emmy Award show, which believe me, isn’t easy.“My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all- Yiddish-speaking Canada” - David Steinberg.Yet, where is the Jewish father in all this?Like the image of the Jewish mama, the Jewish father has suffered in cultural media. In European shtetls, he was the forever studious scholar who departed religious and spiritual values, along withMama in her special way. He was also consulted onthe big decisions. But not unlike the old joke, in some Jewish families, even “back then,” the “rule” was “Papa decides the big things, like who should be President and how to achieve world peace. Mama decides the little things, like where they should live, and how to raise the kids.”Stereotypes maybe, but as with many, there’s some truth to them.The Jewish woman doesn’t even “Kids come first ... even before the husband”. Dr. Burt Strug, –father of Olympian Kelli Strug. Dr. Strug worked two jobs to insure his children’s education.Says Mama Melanie Strug: “My husband moonlighted so our kids could have the best education, training – whatever they needed.”Much has been written about the heroism, courage, talent, and brilliance of many Jewish dads

who during times of joy and times of horror, saved their families, and changed the world.In honor of Father’s Day, I bring you anecdotes and views of Jewish “fathering” you may or may not have heard. I hope you read it with joy, maybe just a little tear and a greater –understanding of the Jewish father.E=MC GOO GOO?He was sitting in front of a heap of papers, covered with mathematical formulae. Writing with his right hand and holding his younger son in his left he kept replying to questions from his elder son who was playing with his bricks. — A student.Who was this 21st. century-style hands-on dad? The greatest mind of the 20th century –Albert Einstein! In the early 1900's the genius frequently walked a baby carriage bearing sons Hans Albert or Eduard, then stopped to write an question. E=MC2 could have been easily misread, for the baby spittle!ROOTIN’ TOOTIN’ GUN TOTIN’ DADWhen German-Jewish immigrant William Zeckendorf married Julia Frank during American pioneer days, poor Julia had no idea what she was in for. Her groom took her cross country to New Mexico and Arizona to join his brothers in business. Soon, the rough riding dad of four, pistols and rifles in hand, used his other to get involved in merchandising, mining, cattle, farming, and the Jewish community in Tucson. The family returned to New York this time –minus the spurs but the Zeckendorf determination continued through generations of –children who built a real estate empire. Willy’s grandson in fact, put together the land parcel that John D. Rockefeller donated to the United Nations.FATHER TO TEL AVIV AND TO HIS DAUGHTERDavid Steinberg At age 10, “Layos Lenovitz” (Lou Lenert) a farm boy from Hungary came with his family to live in the coal-mining town of Wilkes-Barre, P.A. As a youngster he was mocked and teased for being a Jew. Yet he grew to be a hero. At age 18, Lenart joined the U.S. Marines and after a year-and-a-half of training he entered flight school. After the war, in 1948 he flew clandestine missions in Okinawa and Japan to smuggle war planes into what was to become Israel, evading the British and Egyptians. He took on this dangerous task in anticipation of Israeli independence, especially when he learned that 14 of his relatives were killed in Auschwitz. Ultimately, the Egyptian troops, who had been assured that the Israelis had no aircraft, halted their advance on Tel Aviv. Lenart also participated in the airlift of Iraqi Jews to Israel. But more, he became a movie producer (“Iron Eagle” and “Iron Eagle II,” among others). This “father” of Israel has left Israel another legacy in his daughter Michal, who followed in her father’s footsteps by serving in the Israel Air Force.FATHERS TO SON: THE BARUCHS:

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Many a Jewish father has passed down his values about enriching the world to his children. But one example are the Baruchs. An advocate of cleanliness as preventive medicine, Doctor Simon Baruch (1840-1921), a Prussian-Polish immigrant, who served in the Confederacy as a surgeon, moved to New York City and opened America’s first public bath. More, he was the first doctor to diagnose the need for then perform an appendectomy! (1888) Relatively ––speaking, the good doctor went on to father yet another “apostle” in the political arena: Bernard Baruch, premier advisor to six Presidents.THE REAL FIRST HISPANIC ON THE SUPREME COURT: A JEWISH SONIn 2009, when President Obama on Tuesday nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the U.S. Supreme Court much was made of her Hispanic heritage. In fact, the first Hispanic to serve was Benjamin Nathan Cardozo, U. S. Supreme Court Justice from 1932 - 1938, a Sephardic Jew of Spanish ancestry. His father, was also a Judge Albert Cardozo, and a strong Jewish community activist. He was Vice President and Trustee of the famous Spanish-Portuguese synagogue in New York City, Congregation Shearith Israel, following in the footsteps of his fore-bearers. Not only did the family participate in the creation of the oldest congregation in North America, an 18th-century Cardozo served as the first Jewish incorporator and trustee of Columbia University and another helped found the New York Stock Exchange in 1792.PAPA: TOLD IN MANY WAYSI’ve many read stories from various sources about a particular miracle of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. One that has become popular in different versions involves a falling out between father and son. Inevitably, years pass, the son’s life goes through amazing upheavals, whether it be over religion, or a wife. They all, however, end the same way; the son, wanting to get and give forgiveness writes a note of love to his papa and tucks it into the Western Wall where he finds … a similar note from his father in the exact same place.It’s always fascinated me how it’s the father, the papa who gets and writes the note. Perhaps this is one answer to the mystery of the dad. In his quiet way, we need him to be there, we need him to model values, we need him to take us by the hand and show us the world and its endless possibilities … and we need to hear him live the word, “Pride,” and bestow it upon us.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Jewish-Food-Personality-Test.htmlThe Jewish Food Personality TestAug 9, 2014by Marnie Winston-MacauleyWhat do your Jewish food preferences say about you?As a therapist as well as writer, I can say with great authority, I have absolutely no evidence whatsoever that our preferences in food tell us something about our personalities. But, as a Jew, I go with my gut. Trust me, there’s a connection.A blintz person is full of secrets, hiding things in the secret compartments of their life.For example, I hate bananas. I like banana flavoring, banana pops, and banana cake. It’s just the fruit I can’t stand. Now, why should a sane but quirky person hate an innocent yellow hanging food?Simple. It’s suffering an identity crises. Instead ofquenching my lust for some juicy liquid, it’s mushy.This is a fruit? No. Watermelon is a fruit. A cling peach, even a pear juicy. But a banana, –especially with the strings hanging? Before you accuse me of OCD, I admit. I’m messy, but organized. The thing is, as life is filled with enough “Tsouris Surprises,” I need fruit to surprise me? Have you ever bitten into a plum or pineapple, expecting succulent and sweet, then suddenly your eyebrows stand at right angles? I’ve also had enough with false labeling, hoping things (and people) are what they seem to be. The banana isn’t.I have a similar problem with beets. It’s a root that should be a fruit, which means I also dislike borscht, but that’s another story. Now, I could wait for whatever government agency is in charge of naming to get it right. After all, do we care if a tomato is a fruit or veggie? But, we’ll upset the World Order, and worse, tick off a government agency.

But I digress.In the interest of confounding our understanding of human nature even further, I present you with my list of what I believe our food preference say about us!What Your Jewish Food Preferences Say About You 1-If you’re a CHOPPED LIVER PERSON:Chances are you’re gregarious, out-going, and show up at Bar Mitzvahs even of people you –don’t know. Nothing pleases you more than chowing down a little liver on a Ritz topped off by a perfectly round onion and chatting with everyone. You can also be a –noodge. As, face it, while it’s Jewish pate, our presentation could turn off, say, a Gentile. This you have no patience for, and might follow them around saying “Just try it! A bite!” which will make people run from you along with your liver breath.–2-If you’re a HERRING PERSON:This depends upon whether you like your herring with or without sour cream. If you’re a pickled herring person you’re probably a purist, no-nonsense pragmatist with maybe a little bite. You have no patience for fusses or musses, in your herring, or in your life. Should someone you love, God forbid, have a problem, you’re the one who says: “You’re over- reacting!” which also means, you’re probably not too popular. If, however, you’re a sour cream herring lover, you can handle even the most difficult tsouris by covering the situation with a –little butterfat. For example, should your nephew want to study professional surfing, you’ll tell your sister, “Listen mamala? At least he’ll get a tan.” Should you be a person who uses the original herring or adds mayonnaise – you’re a Gentile.3-If you’re a LATKE PERSON:If you eat latkes a lot all year round, mamalas, not only are you probably a bissel zaftig, but chances are, ambition may not be first on your “to do” list. You may have a -tendency to lie there, and a little dripping could be involved. If you’re married for example, your mate might hock you to put in for head shoe salesman, but you’re happy not having to do inventory. You could also be addicted to shmaltz in your food, and in your feelings. Sentimental you are, –which could make you the family historian, the one who keeps photos of the great-bubbes or zaydes when they were kinder in Kielce, and while watching your cousin’s video of her in front of the Wailing Wall, you’re the one wailing.4-If you’re a TRUE STUFFED DERMA/KISHKE PERSON:Like the original stuffed derma, you like your Kishke to be made from true kishke and you –feel “the false” down to your kishkes. More, you have no taste for the tasteless. As with kishkes which must be cased in a cow’s intestine not some synthetic, in life, the artificial gives you acid reflux. Unmasking phonies may mean your family and colleagues either respect you, fear you, or “forget” your invitation to the Purim party. While you’re sensitive and this may

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.hurt you, nu, what can you do? You can’t help but call it as you see it or risk being on a permanent Gaviscon IV. The good news is, Grand Juries, adore you. More, when you’re in your element, say an authentic group of aliens, you’re the life of the party.5. If you’re a CHAZZERAI PERSON:Focus is not your thing. The opposite of the KISHKE PERSON, you live for junk in your food, –and in your life, where chances are your stuff is so scattered, Sherlock couldn’t find your tax return. Bargains any bargain gives you such a high, you feel like dancing a Hora on the –Brooklyn Bridge, scarfing down potato chip pizza. So the used sofa on Craig’s List is missing a leg, but you like the stripe. You’ll get it fixed you tell your mate --which you won’t. No. It will lean there until the coming of the Messiah, along with the vintage Pinto you got without a –cylinder, and the clothes that fit no one that are hanging on the exercise bike that you bought in that new thrift shop which you never use. Chances are your “collections” are making your mate chalosh, which only worsens your depression, triggered by the fact that your brain has morphed into shmaltz.6- If you’re a KNISH or BLINTZ PERSON:You love a mystery! Chances are you’re a “hider.” You have “secret compartments” everywhere, and like George on Seinfeld, if one looked under your desk you’d have a whole world you could live on in case of God forbid, nuclear war. Ah, but you also like the unknown! A sour apple makes you laugh. You delight for example, in saying to the blintz person when he asks what filling, “Surprise me!” and chances are, you collect things like Pez dispensers or Russian nesting dolls.With this new insight, I welcome any additions, subtractions or multiplications … feel free to join my JEWISH FOOD PERSONALITY movement as a critical adjunct to understanding Jewish behavior!

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The_Jewish_Grinch.htmlThe Jewish GrinchDec 22, 2011by Marnie Winston-MacauleyA saJ ew, lIo e v t Ch eh r i s tm as s se oan , b e c a u s e t irem n id sm e th at Iam d ifferen t .December, 1993. The scene: Riverdale, New York. An almost entirely Jewish enclave directly north of Manhattan. I’m wearing a “fency” dress I picked up at an upscale re-sale shop, reduced from $2,000 to $125 that no doubt was originally “gently” worn by a bulimic heiress. True, the waist was around my neck, however at that price I would have worn a kitchen curtain.I digress.My boss at the time, the late, ever fascinating, Douglas Marland, head writer of As the World Turns, is picking me up for an evening of theater.As I tumble into the car, he looks at me oddly. Okay, the dress frightened him. But more to the point ...“It never once occurred to me what it must feel like to be an outsider on Christmas.”Here we are, a few days before Christmas. Houses across every hamlet in America are strung with red and green lights, trees, holly boughs — and then there was here. A tiny turf in the Bronx with nothingbut the faint orange glow of Menorahs peekingdemurely out of windows into the winter night. “Where the heck are we ... ” he asks, awe struck, “Tel Aviv ...?”-Undaunted, I explain, which kicks off a discussion of what it was like to grow up in the fifties as a Jew in a non-Jewish neighborhood. For once, this master storyteller is rendered speechless. Finally: “You know ... it never once occurred to me what it must feel like to be an outsider on Christmas.”An “outsider.” Yes.Then, at once, I realized … I love it.

Call me a yiddle-Grinchy, but the best part of the Christmas holidays for this Yiddishe maidel isn’t the short movie lines, the “cheer,” or even the Kosher Chinese.As a kid in the 1950s, living my first eight years in a working-class, mostly Catholic neighborhood, Christmas was hoo-ha time for everyone else. Each attached little house was –aglow, “astring,” with reindeers, Santas, crèches, adorned trees, and enough red and green to set off a civil alert system.Back then, before political-ecumenical “correctness,” my parents were firm. WE were Jews. Jews don’t “do” Christmas. They possessed no “modern” notions of “Hey, let’s all assimilate and join in the spirit with “Chrismukkah” bushes, tiny (but tasteful) wreaths, and little red stockings.And, back then, public places, such as schools, didn’t “know” from “our” holiday. Christmas was everywhere but in my home (and those of a few Jewish neighbors). Our Festival of Lights was all but ignored. Never once in chorus did our teacher (who himself was Jewish) suggest we do a rousing, four-voice rendition of “Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel.”In fairness, Christmas is the Big-Time for Christians. Chanukah for We Jews … eh, not so much. We lit a real Menorah each night, said the prayers, told the remarkable story, ate latkes with sour cream, and sometimes got a token gift.Sure, as a kid, seeing the haul the Potenza kids raked in Christmas morning was a little daunting. After all, how can you compare walky-talky-wetsy dolls, Lionel trains (created by a Jewish boy), bikes, and enough wooden logs to make Lincoln a duplex, with a small mesh bag of chocolate Hanukkah \"gelt?\"Yet, with all due respect for child-experts to come who made a case for “Christmas envy,” I -wasn’t envious. Or jealous. And, my parents never used the “assimilation” means “Christmas- is-secular-love of peace-so-you-won’t-feel-deprived” gambit. We had our own holidays, and could still love American traditions, and holidays, but Christmas is not secular. It’s for Christians.Nor did they worry that I’d be psychologically scarred by being an “outsider.” If I was an “outsider” – so what? Over the course of 3,000 years, how often were We Jews “insiders?”Even at that young age, there was something about “outsider” status I found appealing. (I was a weird kid.) But my parents’ adamant view, along with their love and pride in Jews and Judaism, made me turn “outsider” to “different” – one who was part of a “special” group.Besides, I could always play with “their” gifts anyway.Granted, my friends love Christmas, even with the work, the cost and the shlepping. And I love seeing them joyous.

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.But being the “outsider” has definite benefits. For one: “Have you bought gifts, lights, decorations, cards yet?”Excuse me, I’m Jewish.The best part of being an “outsider” to me? For 12 days, America shuts down. It’s busy.And I’m not. For 12 days a year, with the exception of some repetitive TV programming (How often can one human watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” or listen to a “Very Brady fill in the name- –Christmas”), I love being left out. No e-mails, submissions, government offices hocking. Once a year, I can bask in my “outsider ness” –- to think, ponder, create all in splendid –guiltlessness.I believe fervently in Peace on Earth all year. But there’s a lot to be said for a little private peace during the Christmas holidays, especially if parents raise children to believe, as I was, that while one can respect others’ right to believe and celebrate as they wish …“difference” doesn’t require “equality” in all things; “assimilation” doesn’t mean compromising one’s background;being an “outsider” should bring its own specialness rather than envy;and that being a Jew is, and always will mean being different. And there’s something indisputably special about that.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Jewish-Infomercial.htmlThe Jewish InfomercialJan 5, 2013by Marnie Winston-MacauleyInfomercials are so unJewish. Here are my pitches for some Jewish infomercial products.“But wait! If you order now, we’ll send TWO – ABSOLUTELY FREE!! But that’s not all!! You’ll also receive our DVD that explains step by step how to use our revolutionary Egg Kracker!!! AND … a dozen unborn eggs with an aluminum egg spoon!!!! All this, for only 19.95! Shipping and handling $9.95 not included.”Excuse me, readers…I’m ordering. I’m holding…They’re asking if I want to join their “Krack Me Up” Club for the millions who, like me, have had it with k-nocking an egg with a knife.We’ve all seen them, heard them, and yes, even put a curse on their heads. They’re the Infomercial Gurus who have mastered the art of making millions from 50 cent plastic chazzerai made by children in Kzykstonia that “WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT.”Infomercials! Not only are these evil raps lies, but they’re so ……. Un-Jewish.First, what Jew buys without looking, touching, smelling, tasting? But wait … there’s more!Show me one Jew who bought a Samurai sword to cut a pickle? We need a one-size fits all blanket with sleeves? Is there a Jew who wants her family to look like members of a Tibetan monastery? Then there’s a meatloaf pan. Find me a balaboosteh who doesn’t have a pan shaped like a rectangle? They should bite their tongues! Literally.If these gurus want Jewish gelt, they’ll have to get smarter, stop with the Butter Spreaders and market to our demographic. So, for you my dear readers, I’ve created some infomercial products for We Jews that might bring in a shekel or two. (Then again, maybe not.)THE BAGEL RE-HYDRATOR“Oy vey!” screams a husband when his bagel is frozen. “On this I could break my bridgework!” “NOT ANYMORE!” says his balaboosteh. I just bought … The Bagel Re-Hydrator!!

See, Irving … all I do is pop the bagel in this bagel-shaped heating ring, lock the top, plug it in, set for ‘Chewy’ and gevaldik! Like just bought! And wait … they sent me a second one – for bialys! Also their pamphlet, “Bagelmania” with hundreds of recipes – and Thank God, not ONE for jalapeno!” But that’s not all! They also included a pound of poppy seeds! I ask you, is this a bargain at $25.95 or what?!THE SMILE SIMULATORMamalas, how often have you been forced to smile when say:Your son brings home his fiancée a nomad from Kyrgyzstan? –Your husband invites his mama to visit for the winter?–Your neighbor’s mazik tracks in shmutz on your new carpet?And THESE are just a FEW of the things that not only drive you meshugge, but turn you into a ranting, raving, vilda chaya!“But who can smile with such tsouris?” you’re asking yourself.NOW YOU CAN, DARLINGS!With our new, miraculous invention, THE SMILE SIMULATER!Made with space age material, just pop this easy to assemble, washable little brace into your mouth and turn that frown upside down. Built like a small wishbone from your Empire chicken, it has a ball and groove and elastic band you put in your mouth to give you a huge smile that on your own you can’t, or face it, won’t force.No more “Oy, she’s such a Kvetcher!”In any tsouris, BE PREPARED WITH A HUGE SMILE!As grin sized varies, not recommended to be worn in front of small children or sensitive people.MIRACLE MATZO BALL MOLD`“BEING A BALABOOSTEH ISN’T EASY!!”What capable balaboosteh hasn’t yelled, “OY, I’m so tired from all the rolling?!” when making a matzo ball?!With all you have to do … preparing three meals a day plus snacks, advising, hunting down kinehoras and poo pooing, who has time to make THE PERFECT MATZO BALL?PROBLEM SOLVED! Just put the ingredients in our unique MIRACLE MATZO BALL MOLD, press the top, and voila! One PERFECT matzo ball every single time.

But wait …! What if your husband’s a “sinker” and your son’s a “floater?”We make for BOTH Sinkers AND Floaters. Purchase ONE, and you get the other ABSOLUTELY FREE!If you order now on our website we’ll even send you a free gift! OUR MIRACLE FREEZE DRIED CARROT DEHYDRATOR.What better gift to give your balaboosteh for the High Holidays?!THE KVELL KARD“IT’S THE NEW NAKHES!”Your brilliant son made Harvard? Your darling daughter’s a doctor? Your son-in-law has a new law practice? Your kidney operation was a huge success?Who can you tell – and tell … without seeming like boorish yenta?!EVERYONE!FOR NAKHES WITH CLASS LET THE KVELL KARD DO IT FOR YOU!These personalized cards … with your photo present your personal naches in premier style. All of our 512 custom KVELL KARDS are made of the finest silk and linen, designed to make the reader drop dead from admiration.Picture it. A deep mauve silk card, in embossed calligraphy, with a gorgeous photo of YOU that simply says, for example:FROM THE DESK OF CHAYA ZELDA …Who would I choose to share my nakhes with, but you, my dear and loving friend without hocking you en chinik.My David just received a formal acceptance to join the Harvard family as a freshman, with a major in “future surgeon.”I only hope he does as well there as your third cousin, Mordecai.Abie and I are hosting a small dinner party in his honor soon, so feel free to spread the news, mamala, so I know whether to order for 100 or 200.Is this gorgeous or is this gorgeous!! Like a Queen you’ll be, among all those who know you, renowned from Brooklyn to Tel Aviv for your exquisite taste and sensitivity.

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Do look through our Kvell Kards and you’ll find they meet all your Naches Needs. Go to www:K4Kvell. Order one and we’ll send you a FREE KKard Koupon for $10 on all orders over$500!!

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Jewish-Christmas-Connection.htmlTh e e Jw i sh Ch-r i s tm a sConnec t io nDec 22, 2018by Marnie Winston-Macauleyh e two e bs st-e llin g Ch ri is ta n h o lid a y s o n g swere r ew ittn t b yhe o osnfa a cn tor named Israel Baline, better known as Irving Berlin.What’s a Jew to do on December 25th? We all know the Chinese food drill, but as usual, we are a people of fascinating facts and high humor, so I give you “a little bit of this; a little bit of that” to share on Christmas Day.FACTS, FACTOIDS, AND HO HO HO’S!FREDDIE ROMAN ON CHRISTMAS AND HANUKKAHThe legendary comic of “Catskills on Broadway” fame, who is synonymous with The Friars Club and Florida pokes some fun about the holidays.Those of you out here tonight of the Christian faith, you are so lucky. Every year, December 25th is Christmas. Every year, exactly the same. You could make plans!The Jewish people are not that lucky. We have no idea where our holidays are. If we don't have the Manischewitz Seven Year Calendar, we have no clue.For example, our holiest day, is Yom Kippur or as the Reformed Jew likes to say, Yom Kip-pour –(all our Reformed Rabbis like to think they're Shakespeare).Well, a few years ago, Yom Kippur came out on October 27, which made Yom Kippur that year very late.And there isn't a Jew in this room tonight that didn't say last year, 'You know, Hanukkah's early.' You see Jewish Holidays are either later or early. We are never on time.\"

“I’m dreaming of a – ” Sing Mamala! The two best-selling Christian holiday songs were written by the son of a cantor named Israel Baline, better known as Irving Berlin, born in 1888 near the Siberian border. An 1893 pogrom brought the family, with eight children, to New York. During his lifetime, he won a plethora of honors for his charitable contributions and his 1,500-plus standards, but perhaps his most enduring legacies are the two most popular Christian holiday songs, “White Christmas” and “Easter Parade.” Not bad for a poor Jewish immigrant who never learned to read or write music and composed in only one key F sharp.–Have an Eggroll, Mr. Goldstone! Why is chow mein the chosen food of the chosen people on Christmas and throughout the year? The answer is a matter of academic speculation.Contributing factors include the fact that Chinese restaurants were always open during Christian holy days such as Sundays and Christmas. Secondly, Chinese food uses almost no dairy, so for Jews who don’t mix meat and milk, Chinese food was more palatable in contrast to the two other most popular ethnic cuisines in America, Mexican and Italian, which both use dairy.Clean the Chimney and Leave a Plate of Blintzes. While Christian children write Santa, since 1985, Jewish children could make a list, check it twice and send it to Bubbie and Zadie. In 1981, writer Daniel Bloom created a letter-writing campaign to Bubbie and Zadie and received over 10,000 letters. In 1985, he wrote, \"Bubbie and Zadie Come to My House,” about grandparents who fly from house to house on the first night of Hanukkah, singing songs and telling stories. In 2006, the book was re-published. Bloom has said the letters and answers aren’t about gifts, but express excitement about the holiday and hope for a flyby from Bubbie and Zadie.My Son, the Genius! This phrase was probably on the lips of Hyman and Rebecca when in 1884, their seven-year-old, Joshua Lionel Cowen (born Cohen) attached a small steam engine to a wooden locomotive - and blew up the wallpaper. As a teen, he invented an electric doorbell, but his teacher called it impractical. Worse, he lost a fortune selling the rights to his electric flowerpot. True, it wasn't a hit, until the buyer detached the tubes and marketed ... the Eveready Flashlight. Wiser, Joshua, with a friend, launched the Lionel Manufacturing Co. in 1900. After attempting to sell portable electric fans, he attached the fan's motor to a miniature wooden railroad car. This time it didn't explode. It moved. And the quintessential Christmas gift Lionel trains was born.––Festivus for the Rest of Us? Who can forget the Seinfeld episode when George, to get out of Christmas-gifting, tells his boss he celebrates “Festivus.”GEORGE: \"I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs. They drove my family out of Bayside (New York), Sir!?\"

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Well, a drug dealer in an Orange County California prison was of the same “persuasion.” Malcolm Alarmo King reportedly cited his observance of Festivus to get the healthier kosher meals and needed a religious reason. A local Bayside paper claimed he got his wish, though the holiday was a figment of the Costanza mishegoss. All of this begs the question: Were the Costanzas even Jewish? The house smelled like kasha, but papa Frank had a cousin in Italy. (Maybe he was Sephardic?) Then George joined the Latvian Orthodox Church. Is George a Re- Converter and if so ... never mind.Exultation! The Irish and Italian boys had Christmas once a year; we had exultation every Friday. In the neighborhood, rent by the shouts of peddlers and the myriad noises of the city, there was every Friday evening a wondrous stillness. From the synagogue you could hear the murmured prayers of the congregation. You came home to find your mother dressed in her wedding dress with a white silk scarf around her head. And your father told you all the sufferings throughout the centuries were dedicated for this moment, the celebration of the Sabbath. – Hutchins Hapgood (Excerpt) “The Spirit of the Ghetto” (1902).

https://www.aish.com/j/f/The-Jews-Columbus-and-Thanksgiving.htmlThe Jews, Columbus and ThanksgivingNov 17, 2018by Marnie Winston-MacauleyDid you know that Columbus may never have “discovered” the Americans w i th o u t We e Jw s ?On Thanksgiving, we not only celebrate pilgrims and Native Americans, but give thanks for the Goldena Medina we call “America.” All of us have heard of Queen Isabella, King Ferdinand and the Italian, Christopher Columbus, who, under the Spanish banner, is credited with stumbling upon America during his four voyages to find a westward route to Asia and its wondrous spices. (Others preceded him, but Columbus is credited with setting the stage for the European exploration and colonization of the Americas.) But did you know that he may never have made the journeys without We Jews? Names, such as Levi ben Gerson, Abraham Zacuto, Luis de Santangel and Gabriel Sanchez, are largely forgotten, yet directly or indirectly, each and more had a profound effect on Columbus’s journeys. Let’s look. (Note: Some were Conversos, as the day before Columbus set sail on his first voyage, on August 2, 1492, when the Inquisition started, more than 300,000 Jews left the country, while others nominally converted.) Let’s look.The Materials Columbus Used:How did he know where he was going? (Then again, he didn’t.) He used several astronomical works prepared by Abrahan ibn Ezra in \"De Luminaribus et Diebus Criticis,\" and directly by the invention of instruments for astronomical observation. Jacob's Staff, a sea-quadrant, was the invention of the Jewish Levi ben Gerson, who was the first to describe it. Abraham Zacuto (c. 1452-1515), then applied this instrument in navigation to determine latitude using the altitude of the polar star at night to ascertain the ship's position. Zacuto wrote his major astronomical work, Ha-Hibur ha-Gadol, in Hebrew, and served as court astronomer to kings

John II and Manuel I of Portugal. He prepared the charts used by Vasco da Gama on his journey to India. His astronomical tables rendered Columbus incalculable service; indeed, on one occasion it saved the lives of his whole company. A copy of those tables with Columbus's notes is preserved in Seville.Guess Who Gelted?Converso Luis de Santangel, whose relatives were exterminated during the Inquisition, was a financier and, as a confidant of King Ferdinand, he became chancellor of Aragon. Together with a relative, the royal treasurer, Gabriel Sanchez (whose father was burned in effigy as a Jewish heretic at Saragossa in 1493), Santangel and a friend, the royal chamberlain, Juan Cabrero, also of Jewish stock, were proponents of Columbus. Santangel convinced the crown of the advantages to Spain from the discovery of a sea-route to the Indies. Isabella consented, but alas the state treasury was bare. He loaned 17,000 interest-free ducats to the royal treasury (equal to $160,000 at the present day). Santangel was also the first to receive a detailed letter from Columbus about the voyage on February 15, 1943. Columbus wrote a similar letter to Gabriel Sanchez, who published it in Barcelona. Later on, for his services, Luis de Santangel obtained a royal decree, issued May 30, 1497, by which he, his children, and his grandchildren were to be protected from any further maltreatment by the Inquisition.They Set Sail …While it’s not clear how many Jews (or Conversos) journeyed with Columbus, Luis de Torres was his official interpreter. Others may have included Alonzo de la Calle, who took his name from the Jewish quarter (Calle), and died in Spain in 1503; Rodrigo Sanchez (a relative of exchequer Gabriel Sanchez), the surgeon, Marco; and the ship's doctor, Bernal, who had been punished in 1490 by the Inquisition as an adherent of Judaism.Of the group, Luis de Torres (born Yosef ben Ha Levy HaIvri) was the most prominent. Torres spoke Arabic, Hebrew and some other ancient languages Columbus thought he would encounter. Looking back now, it’s humorous, given the fact that all four voyages seriously missed their mark. Torres was given the job of “translator” in “India,”—which we now know as China which was actually the Americas.–Though accounts differ, it is believed he made his home in Cuba, wowed the chiefs who gifted him with large land grants and slaves, and he died in Cuba. Torres was, however, the first European to set foot on American soil by some accounts making him the first “pilgrim.” As legend has it, Torres saw the bird; thinking it was a kind of parrot, he assigned it the Hebrew name “Tukki.” While this is probably folklore, his expedition, 100 years earlier than the Mayflower voyage is reminiscent of the story of Thanksgiving.Sailing again on Jewish Gelt

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Columbus’s second voyage, which sailed from Cadiz on September 25, 1493, was financed by the spoils of expelled Jews, those who wound up in Portugal, Conversos, and even Christians suspected of holding Jewish treasures such as gold and silver, clothing, velvet and silk.In total, Columbus made four trips, from 1492-1504.The Newly Discovered LandsOnce again Gabriel Sanchez enters the scene and benefits. While emigration to this new –frontier was strictly forbidden to Conversos (who were still persecuted), Sanchez, exempt from the edict, was the first person given a royal grant to export grain and horses to America.The Shocking Truth Behind Columbus’s Voyages? True Or False?The prize of the Columbus expeditions exotic riches has recently been questioned. In a ––2018 article by Sean Martin Columbus discovered America while scouting a possible settlement for banished Jews during the Inquisition.Personally, I wouldn’t bet my “tukki” on it.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/48925037.htmlThe Joys of YiddishMay 17, 2008by Marnie Winston-MacauleyGrowing up in a family that spoke Yiddish, we kids were somewhat \"punch line challenged.\"I grew up in a home where Yiddish and Yinglish were spoken especially when someone said, –\"Sha. Not in front of the kinder!\" Never have seven words so tantalized us. So naturally, by age eight, our fluency in Yiddish was mostly limited to the bad words.Most frustrating were the jokes. Picture it. Our relatives around the table, listening to Uncle Hymie tell a joke in broken English. After deliciously, Yinglishly described farmers, –shlimazls, and a trainload of evil soldiers, these stories took at least 15 minutes to set up. There we were, my brother and I, along with a myriad of young cousins, listening raptly, eager to hear the punch line already. Finally, Uncle Hymie would puff up for his big finish ... \"And then the shlimazl said ............... A finstere cholem auf dein kopf und auf dein hent und fiss.\"Wha ...?!The adults would collapse, repeating the ending. \"But what did the shlimazl say?!\" we'd beg. Their tears of hysteria in free-fall, they'd reply in unison, \"Not in front of the kinder!\"We grew up punch line-challenged. It was clear when our relatives came here, they relished their inalienable right to say what they wanted, when they wanted in Yiddish and torture us.–They relished their inalienable right to say what they wanted, when they wanted in Yiddish – and torture us.Even as a child, I understood the power of Yiddish. Never in the history of language have so few words stood \"in\" for so many. For example, the word \"mensch\" means \"person.\" But when a Yiddish- speaker uses it to make a point, it means a person. A gutte neshuma. A mensch among menches. (He's the one who donates to Israel and doesn't want adinner in his honor.) That one word is a small thesaurus of adjectives for humanity, integrity, and goodness. Such is the majesty of Yiddish.

In fact there are thoughts I simply can't express without Yiddish. \"Chutzpah\" means \"nerve.\" But way more. In humor or anger, English just doesn't cut it. Listen...\"Mrs. Farber had the nerve to bring her own turkey to our house for Thanksgiving.\" \"Mrs. Farber had the chutzpah to shlep her own turkey to our house on Thanksgiving!\"The first is way too polite, and probably ends the issue. The second is felt down to the spleen. \"What an insult! Did that yenta think I wouldn't make enough? Was that witch showing off her hotsy totsy silver serving plate? Can you believe a normal human would do such a thing?! This, I'm getting to the bottom of!\"\"Nerve\" wouldn't make it onto the runway.In the whole of Yiddish, there's no word that constitutes an emotional dictionary more than -- \"oy.\" Those two little letters can indicate surprise, pain, relief, despair, or horror for starters. –The meaning varies from, \"Oy, I gained five pounds\" to \"The IRS is auditing?! Oy Vey!\" (The \"Vey\" adding more woe to the \"oy.\") Bigger than \"too bad,\" it comes from the kishkas of Jewish trials.On a similar note, \"nu\" registers anything from a sigh, a grimace, a sneer, to a grunt. Together, \"oy\" and \"nu\" make a Yiddish symphony!\"Nu?\" said Dora. \"Nu,\" said Ruthie \"Nu??\" said Leah\"Alright, already,\" said Dora. \"This week I'll bring the bobka to Sisterhood.\"Add a bissel superstition to the language of the persecuted and you get exquisitely executed euphemism and criticism. Heaven forbid anyone should think anything's going well, the evil eye may snatch it. Many a Yiddishe parent felt it was safer not to tempt fate by \"happy\" talk –or over-talking.\"So, your son moved to Park Avenue?\" \"Eh ... it's a street.\"\"Mazel Tov! Your Rachel just got promoted!\" \"Let's hope she keeps it.\"\"The pool dad put in is great.\"\"With his mazel he'll break his back with his swan dives.\"

My family, as most Yiddish speakers who came to the Golden Land, learned English, or more precisely, \"Yinglish.\" But they held onto their \"untranslatable\" words, cadences, and style, while creating zingy new word meanings. Especially when the need for sarcasm arose, which, of course, was always.If the Queen uses the word \"lovely,\" you kvell. If my late mother said it, my brother and I would get excema. Here's what she'd say ... and what she meant.\"Darling, on you, it looks lovely.\" (Burn it.)\"Joshua, your girlfriend? Lovely, just lovely.\" (Bring me the Rolaids.)\"Mamala, your gift ... it was a lovely thought.\" (You couldn't have a better one?)Which brings us to the Queen of Yinglish the Question–! Between a religion that reveres the Art of Debate, and our precarious relationship with the world, answering a question with a question was safer. I was 25 before I'd commit to a declarative sentence. A typical discussion: MA: \"Uncle Moe told me a single lawyer joined the Temple. So come this Friday?\"ME: \"How's Uncle David?\"DAD: \"Would it kill you to come?\" ME: \"Is his prostate still acting up?\" MA: \"What are we, proctologists?ME: \"Will you ask him?MA and DAD: \"Oy ... why do we bother?\"My late mother also gestured to ward off evil eyes. One of her favorites was the ubiquitous, ever handy spit. Heaven forbid, she'd say, \"I hope my son passed his entrance exams ––spitspitspit\" the neighbors could water their lawns.–\"I hope my son passed his entrance exams – spitspitspit\"– the neighbors could water their lawns.To be fair, my family also learned \"Englishisms.\" There was the great debate of 1968. Someone raised the question: \"How do you say 'Happy Birthday' in Yiddish?\" Oy, such goings on! My mother was stumped, and therein began a Yiddish version of \"telephone\" that could rival the Israeli underground. Ma called Tanta Norma whopretended to know. Dad asked the rabbi who referred us to a Yiddish teacher for a \"literal\" translation. Uncle Giddy disagreed violently. Cousin Malka, our first Ivy League graduate, cogitated. Clearly, the cheery phrase wasn't part of the Yiddish lexicon when running from

Copyright © 1995 - 2020 Aish.com, https://www.aish.com.Aish.com is a non-profit and needs your support. Please donate at: aish.com/donate,or mail a check to: Aish.com c/o The Jerusalem Aish HaTorah Fund PO Box 1259 Lakewood, NJ 08701.Cossacks. A delegation met. Ma served cake. Finally, bubbe, virtual lightbulb overhead yelled her version of \"Eureka!\" A hush descended as our matriarch, swelling with pride, announced, \"... The Yiddish is.... 'Heppy Boyzay!'\"Today, they're gone, these Yiddish speakers of my youth. I miss them every day. Yet their voices still echo. The words spoken in shtetls throughout Europe reverberate with a richness that is far more a Jewish experience, than merely a language.My mother always called me 'a shaineh maidel.' When she died, I remember thinking no one in the world would ever call me a shaineh maidel again ... and mean quite the same thing.Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of \"Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother\" and the award-winning \"A Little Joy, A Little Oy\" 2008 calendar. Her 2009 calendar can be pre-ordered on Amazon.

https://www.aish.com/j/fs/The-Lost-Art-of-Letter-Writing.htmlThe Lost Art of Letter WritingNov 9, 2013by Marnie Winston-MacauleyA study shows that 9 out of 10 children have never written a proper letter.Fräulein Felice! I answer one of your letters, then lie in bed in apparent calm, but my heart beats through my entire body and is conscious only of you. I belong to you and that is not strong enough.This is an excerpt of a letter written by the Jewish Franz Kafka to the love of his life, his fiancée, Felice Bauer with whom he tragically parted, as he was ill with tuberculosis This particular letter, one of many, was written on November 11, 1912.\"Millennials\" have one mission in life: to shorten.Let’s flash forward 100 years and translate in digital- speak: URMG4EVA, Franz (“You are my girl forever” for those who don’t read “Text” and think a raspberry is a fruit.)Clean. Simple. No annoying adjectives, punctuation... words. Of course, if you’re a romantic, you could always print it out to show your grandkids; that is unless it accidentally winds up in your Spam folder.Now, this is not just some rant from those of us who long for the days when women wore white gloves to pour a proper Lipton’s. Nor is it the end of civilization. It is, however, a serious downturn in what passes for culture, drama, history … and yes, our human and personal legacy.


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